To be cross with people who think their bags and coats need a seat.(74 Posts)
Title says it all. I think it's the height of rudeness in a crowded train, bus, cinema, airport terminal etc, etc to keep your bags and coats on a chair when people are standing.
And then compound it by getting all huffy and flouncy when asked "Is this seat taken?"
Oh yes! I delighted in homing in on these people and telling them to move their stuff, it pisses me right off!
YANBU. Selfish f*@*&rs - especially the crafty ones that take an aisle seat, then put their laptop bags on the seat by the window, to make it even more difficult for you to take the 'spare' seat. I just make a point of asking to sit there, just to pee them off.
I find most people are happy to move their stuff if you ask.
Just ask them to move the stuff. Problem solved.
1) because getting cross doesn't improve the situation so it is pointless other than giving you a bad feeling in your head.
2) they don't do it to make you cross
3) most will move stuff if you ask them to. whether they do it huffily or not doesn't matter as long as you get a seat does it?
I ask, once, and if they don't move their stuff I sit on it. To be fair, one look at the size of my arse and they generally do move their things - it would take one hell of a tough bag to survive me sitting on it
Got on a busy train once and a woman had a load of food spread out on the seat next to her. Asked to please use the seat and she asked me how far I was going!
Drives me mad. Lots of people won't consider asking people to move their stuff, they're shy or whatever. Or they simply don't notice that there's a spare seat, as the just see the outside seats full. Sometimes I do say 'there's a seat there' if I see somebody standing.
Just politely ask them to move it, no big deal.
Its a bit thoughtless but there was probably plenty of space when they sat down and absentmindedly put their things down next to them.
I am way more irritated at the idea that a grown adult would be too hesitant to simply open their mouth and ask to use the seat.
But why do they do it? How unaware would you have to be on a crowded train or whatever to put your bag on a seat when it's clear someone will need it? Yes, of course you can politely ask them to move it, but it's irritating to have to. I know travelling on public transport can be stressful, and we'd all like to have an empty seat next to us for a bit of quiet and privacy (relatively speaking) - I sometimes think, "I don't really want to sit next to you, either - but I do want a blardy seat!" Grrrr.
YANBU when it is crowded. Terribly rude behaviou, not everyone is confident enough to ask someone to move their things.
I do it when there are plenty of other seats though. I like having my stuff next to me and don't see a problem with it. Someone can still ask me to move it if they really feel they want that particular seat.
I remember reading on here ages ago about a poster who deliberately looks for bags on seats and picks those to sit in even if surrounded by empty seats. And she doesn't ask either, she just sits. If people react quickly and grab their stuff then all is well but if not she sits on it. Now that is far more unreasonable imo!
I live in fear of meeting that woman on a train (ok, hyperbole, but I do think about it occasionally!)
I never ask. I just head straight for the seat, making it clear I'm going to sit on it and it's up to them whether they move their stuff or not.
it's not irritating to have to ask! you have to ask for things throughout day to day life. it's not an inconvenience to say " could I have this seat please" just as it's not inconvenient to say "excuse me" to get past someone who is standing in the way of where you want to walk.
people take on too much unnecessary negative feeling for no reason. they really do.
To clarify, "cross" is perhaps putting it too strongly. And of course I ask them if the seat is free . It just puzzles me why so many people are happy to ignore people standing and make no effort until they are asked.
If I'm in the person sitting down I move my bags long before all seats are taken.
Ha, cross post! I am not the woman in the post above, as I wouldn't do that if there were other seats available. But if on a crowded train you've been rude enough to take up a seat with your stuff, then yes, I will sit on it if you don't move it.
I get panicky if someone sits next to me so I do that on a quiet bus - purely to discourage someone from doing it. however if it is crowded I will get up and stand by the door.
Well, it irritates me - just as being told that the way I feel about something isn't valid does. I travel on an always-crowded train 3 days a week, and I find people's selfishness in this regard irritating.
I always put my shopping bag on the seat. It slides off my knees and the floor is often got spills or food or whatever. And it's just easier to have it on the seat next to me. But if the bus starts filling up I
reluctantly move it in case someone wants the seat.
Some people will do it deliberately to deter people but some will just be lost in their own thoughts and not realise.
Just ask and if they act all huffy stab them with their M&S asparagus tips.
I normally put my bag on the seat next to me, because in have a nice leather bag and the floor is filthy. I move it if I see someone coming towards my seat. For those of you who feel the need to specifically head to seats where someone has put a bag; good luck to you if it makes you feel superior and empowered but FWIW, IMO it is a bit unhinged.
it's only selfish if they refuse to move their stuff after being asked. it's not selfish to put stuff there if no-one is needing the seat initially.
Once you see the train/bus filling up, move your damn bag! The seats are for people!
It does seem a bit silly. Oh look there is a seat beside a bagless person and there is a seat beside someone with shopping bags on the seat next to them. I WILL SIT THERE and make them wedge their bags between their knees and the seat in front. Socking it to the man. Go me. That'll learn 'em.
When I coming back from overnight in London I take up the seat next to me while I sort out my bag, packed dinner to eat books, glasses, phone charger etc. Ive found you can move your stuff at the right time you can get a skinny person with a lap top sit next to you. If I dont move it fast enough I'll get the largest person eating a burger and wanting to chat loudly down their phone always sit next to me. Karma
I would not go for the seat with a bag if there were empty. Seats. It is perfectly fine to put your bags on a seat but you should move them as the train / bus fills up, not just when you're asked. I have no difficulty asking but not everyone is ok with it.
Sorry I don't buy the "might be too wrapped up in their own thoughts to notice" excuse. We're in a train not a Buddhist retreat.
I was on a train once and the conductor actually announced that everyone was to remove their luggage from seats. 'Seats are for bottoms, not bags' he said. Everyone pretty much complied, it was a very busy train though!
A man refused to give me a seat on the train on Friday because his wallet and bottle of Vimto had nowhere else to go I'm 33 weeks pregnant and suffering from SPD. I could have ripped his head off.
YANBU if there is a lack of seats. It is very rude and selfish and just downright annoying!
Equally annoying are the people who flounce past in a rather passive aggressive way or the people who make a point of asking someone to move a bag or coat when there are plenty of unoccupied pairs of seats.
daley I would have sat on his wallet and vimto in your situation.
I was on a crammed bus once, and a girl in front of me had crammed the seat next to her with all sorts of christmas junk. It was the only spare seat on the upper deck, lower deck was jammed too. Man politely asked her to move her stuff and she told him to fuck off as her wrapping paper was expensive. So he sat on it. Crushed the lot. She howled. I did too, with laughter.
I once got on the train at Rugby travelling to London with 3 kids and DH. There were five seats free altogether in the carriage but only because a woman on her own had spread items across every seat pointedly taking up the whole six seat section. Normally I would not have taken her on as there was a definite glare she was giving off but there was no way I could let my children stand for the whole journey and they were too little to split up across the odd single seats dotted along the carriage. You know when you know the entire carriage is watching for entertainment-it was like that -but anyway I had to ask her to move each individual bag and then direct a child to sit down and she did but looking increasingly cross as she realised she was going to be boxed in by our family. The train pulls out and DD2 goes green and recognising that face I take off my coat (I hadn't got a bag handy) hold it underneath her and she pukes up sphagetti all over my coat. (I am quite proud of managing to catch all of it) DH returns from putting the buggy away in the luggage rack so I hand him daughter and coat to be cleaned up and apologise briefly to the woman. She looks at me in utter disgust and says "I can't stand it" and at this point she collects all her stuff and walks to another carriage. From us sitting down to her leaving must have happened in the space of five minutes.
It was a moment the chasm between the pre-child and post child me has never been wider. The post child me was feeling glad to have caught all the sick neatly, thanking God for DH and smug to have the seats to ourselves. The pre-child me was just saying-what do you look and smell like, thats your coat you have just let her puke on, you are going to have to chuck your only decent coat out of the train window because it smells so bad, what will people think, people like you shouldn't be allowed kids, why have three when you can't organise one blah, blah....
Well if I'd been on that train I'd definitely have moved the boxes and bags without having to be asked (and not following the logic of the posters who think it's up to the person wanting the seat to ask, it's just good manners to make space when the train starts to fill up) I'd like to think I might have offered to help but suspect I might have moved if there were other seats.
YANBU if there are no other available seats. Sure, you can ask people if they can move their things, but the polite thing to do is to move the bags BEFORE being asked. I hate getting on a crowded bus and people with bags on the seats just stare at you.
I was on a busy bus the other day and a lady was sat at the front with all her bags next to her on the seat. An elderly woman got on with a walking frame and this lady with the bags had the audacity to say to her "I think there's a free seat at the back." Cheeky cow! I was torn between offering her my seat but I had DS on my lap, and why the f**k should this lady have a seat for her bags? Luckily there was a spare seat and the elderly lady was happy enough to take it, but I can't believe the blimmin' rudeness of some people.
YANBU. Yes, you can ask people to move their stuff but I agree they shouldn't huff and flounce when they have to move it! It's so entitled and rude.
And don't get me started on people who won't get out of the seats you have reserved tickets for
Reading this reminded me of when I had a reserved seat on a train a couple of months ago. I have a bad leg and the airline seats don't seem to have enough leg room so I always book a table seat.
I also find that if I book early enough and am very nice to to the clerk at the booking office I can get the nice seat, next to the window and facing direction of travel
On this occasion a very up her own arse cow was in my seat working on her computer, all her gear was spread over the other 3 seats.
When politely asked her to move she refused telling me there were plenty of empty seats (all airline types) and she was 'working'.
I had to sit with in the airline seat across the aisle from her with my leg sticking out asking louder and louder for her to leave my seat until the train manager appeared.
The ensuing argument between her and the TM was actually funny, she
started to have a go at the train company and how unfair it was she pays £1000s every year and someone with an advanced ticket who has paid less gets her seat, it was disgusting, etc etc.
The TM after hearing her rant looked at me and just said to me first class is two carriages along and is empty go and sit in there and I will be with you in a minute. When I told him I couldn't afford to upgrade he just said no problem.
I spent the next couple of hours sitting next to the window facing direction of travel in a large comfy seat.
I saw the woman on the platform when I got off and thanked her for making it possible for me to have such a pleasant comfortable journey.
Which must have really annoyed her as I also saw the TM to thank him again and he told me that at the next stop he directed a lady with two small children into the three empty seats next to the woman didn't look like she got much work done
Mrs David Caruso I love you, and the train manager!
I used to commute out of Paddington every evening. The trains are always packed with (at least) twice as many passengers as there are seats.
One evening a woman parked herself in the aisle seat with her bags piled up in the window seat. I asked her if I could sit down. She tutted and rolled her eyes and said "but where is my bag supposed to go?" I suggested perhaps the bag rack. She then very slowly started gathering her stuff up, huffing and puffing and making a big deal of things. By this point more passengers were piling on and I was causing a blockage in the carriage and I decided I'd rather stand than sit next to an entitled ball of anger huffing and puffing for my entire journey home.
I very loudly announced "I am clearly inconveniencing you, and spun around on my heels to flounce off. As I spun, my bag flew sideways and I smacked her square between the eyes. I honestly didn't mean to, but boy, she deserved it.
What an idiot - you can tell that a seat is reserved!
Once you see the train/bus filling up, move your damn bag! The seats are for people!
^ This ^
DaleyBump - I can't believe the guy who thought his bottle of bloody Vimto deserved a seat more than a pregnant woman! I'd have asked where his Vimto's ticket/seat reservation was. What an utter sh1t.
My OH regularly gets a train which originates at an airport station and regularly has to contend with other passengers putting their suitcases of all shapes and sizes on seats instead of in the luggage racks, the spaces between seat backs or on the overhead racks.
I have never put my stuff on an empty seat or my feet for that matter - that really hacks me off. The surly look of the other passenger who reluctantly moves his/her feet off the opposite seat is another thing which makes my blood boil.
Quite often when a train is empty I'll put my bag/stuff on the seat next to me, just because I prefer to keep it with me if possible and it is a bit annoying when it's tangled up round your feet etc. If I notice the train filling up though then I'll always move my stuff and make space for people/will actively offer the seat to someone if it looks like they're looking around to find somewhere to sit, and if I'm reading a book and in my own little world and don't happen to notice the train getting fuller then I'm always more than happy to move my stuff for people if they ask. I really don't see the point in asking someone to move their bags if there are spare seats without them though, you're not proving anything, just being petty. If it gives you that smug self-congratulatory feeling then crack on, but I doubt the people who have moved their bags give it a second thought, so you've not really 'proved' anything or annoyed them at all, it's a mild inconvenience at best, and not really one worth wasting any thought on at all.
The only thing that does infuriate me is when someone doesn't ask you to move your stuff, just sits down on it, what on earth is the point?! My OH and I were on an almost empty train once, woman came into the carriage, my bag was on the seat next to me as there were plenty of spare seats, woman got on the train and obviously thought she'd 'make her point' and sat on my bag. I'm not sure what reaction she thought she'd get from me, but she was an awful lot less bolshy when asked what the hell she thought she was doing. Eye shuffle, mumble, grumble about bags on seats followed by her moving anyway. The stupid thing is, I would have cheerfully and politely moved my bag if she'd just asked me, no skin off my nose! Don't be a dick, and if you're going to be then at least have the guts to brazen it out, otherwise it's just a cowardly bully mentality.
I was once travelling on a very crowded train we had booked seats on. I knew the seat numbers and looking through the window could see the little reservation tickets sticking up as the train pulled in. While we were waiting to get on, I actually saw two men go to the seats, take the tickets out and sit down. So when we did get on I said to them very politely that I was very sorry but I believed those were our seats. They said there were no reservation tickets, so I replied that I had seen them take the tickets out and sit down, so please could we have our seats. Fortunately they were sufficiently embarrassed so we got them, but honestly if that isn't sheer brass-neck I don't know what is.
nancerama I had a slightly different one. I got on the Gatwick Express and put my case on top of another one in the luggage rack.
A woman said it was her case and told me to move mine because it would damage hers. I refused. She then insisted on taking out her case and putting it on top of mine.
I take it she's never seen baggage handlers in action.
I say, ever so politely, 'May I sit there, please?' Never had a refusal (so far) and often the offender apologises too. But then I'm pretty ancient. By the way, another annoyance: those seats in buses with a notice asking that they be offered to disabled, elderly, etc., but they're often occupied by stony-faced young women engrossed in their Blackberries (or whatever). Fair enough, but NOT when there's some gnarled old sod with a walking stick standing in the aisle next to them!
I don't understand people who sit next to you to make a point when there are other seats available. Never seen anyone deliberately sit on things.
I once sat on a small dog on a bench in a crowded restaurant in France but I
was drunk didn't see it.
We had this recently, packed train, family of 5, 2 seats together covered in bags, 2 seats separate further down the cArriage. Put 2 eldest dcs (age 5+7) on separate seats, ask young couple to move bags please to enable me and 2 year old to sit. DH to stand. Big argument ensued, which half the carriage got involved in. (His partner looked mortified). No one could believe how rude this bloke (well dressed, in his 20's) was, when according to someone else I had been nothing but polite. If he has kids he will understand the problem. Bags do not need seats, they need to go on luggage racks, on knees, or under seats.
I don't understand deliberately homing in on seats with bags on either - not sure what it achieves.
I once asked a woman to kindly move her bag and she told me to sit elsewhere!
If I get on the train and it's fairly empty I will put bags on the seat. If it's starts to get busy I will then move them on the floor.
I once got on a bus and the man opposite kindly moved his feet off the seat for me and smiled like he was doing me a big favour .
I didn't sit on that part of the bench but chose the aisle seat that was free too. A woman got on at the next stop and wanted me to budge up.
I didn't want to sit where his shoes had been. I know you do that all the time but it's one thing to do it unknowingly and another to have to sit where someone has just had their shitty feet.
So I explained to her politely why I wouldn't move up and said she could sit there if she didn't mind and moved aside for her.
They both started having a go - her for me refusing to move up and and him for shopping him when he'd been so nice and polite to me
I get more annoyed by people who are so fat that they require two seats. I can't ask them to move their flesh.
So what do you suggest bonsoir? Anyone whose fat shouldn't travel on public transport?
How is that fair?
It is annoying, when people can clearly see that a bus or a train is filling up rapidly, and still make no effort to clear the seat beside them, and only do so, when asked, sometimes with a bit of huffing and so on. I would never go to sit where someone had left their bag if there were plenty of empty seats elsewhere. That is a bit silly, in my view.
I was on a train lately where seats were booked. A guy and his girlfriend got on, to find another couple sitting happily in their booked seats. They asked politely to sit there. The others moved with a lot of huffing and fussing, and as they left, the man said to the couple, SO ARE YOU HAPPY NOW! They politely said that they were. After all, they were sitting in the seats they had booked, why wouldn't they be happy.
I can't ask them to move their flesh
I'm sure you could Bonsoir. You just need to overcome your natural reticence towards insulting people.
Someone asked why ask for a bag to be moved when there are empty seats. I know when my usual commuter train is going to be full, I will beeline for the bag seats as I feel there may be less assertive people than me around!
I once suggested to a woman standing with three children that oh look, I can squeeze both my DDs on my lap, and you can sit there, and there, and put one child where that ladies' bag is. Bag lady was not happy but I'd watched her keep her bag there on a packed train opposite me while I already had one (admittedly small) DC on my lap, and then leave it there while people were standing in the aisle NEXT to her bag (teenagers too polite to ask her to move it initially but eventually one did when the aisle became so squashed he was practically falling on top her bag). Then when the teen got off, she put her bag back on the seat despite a crowd more people getting on!
You are all so polite,
If they have placed their bag on the inside, I would just say shove up then, and sit down, if the bag is on the outer seat, just sit on it, if people want to be silly when they can see that others want to sit down, don't enable their ridiculous behaviour.
Why would you sit on someone's stuff rather than ask them to move it? Do you generally like to damage people's property when it's in your way?
If you haven't yet asked them to move it then they have not yet been rude, they have merely been unobservant. If you sit on their stuff rather than ask for it to be moved then you are being rude.
I move bags when it's busy. I also move DD (nearly 4). I was on the tube coming back from my mum's the other day, rush hour was starting so I shifted DD onto my knee (with her and my rucksacks between my legs on the floor - it is doable). DD starts to moan that she wants her own seat, so I smartly said 'DD, when you've just done a hard day's work, you can have a seat to yourself. Until then, you can sit on my knee'. Everyone laughed. Kids spread all over seats instead of doubling up or even <gasp> giving up their seat for an adult
who's just done a hard day's work, possibly with hideous period pain and maybe a hangover as well piss me off just as much as bags.
I've been the collateral damage of seat-hogging Tube Rage
I was an innocent by-sitter when someone tore my tights by self-righteously barging in instead of behaving like a normal person and asking the person sitting opposite me to move her stuff.
They were Wolford ones.
I said something really quite forceful indeed to the silly cow. She was embarrassed but still didn't offer to pay for my fucking expensive tights - not that I asked. I'm far too classy for that.
It was over 10 years ago. I still bear a grudge and will carry it to my grave. Idiot.
A few years ago we had to take DD to GOSH for an appointment. The appointment time meant we had to get on a busy commuter train. We boarded and looked for seats. There were several throughout the coach that had bags on them. The people who owned the bags were all looking pointedly in the opposite direction.
I hoiked my sleeves up and marched up and down the carriage saying "Can you move that bag please, my DD/DS/I need to sit down, and then plonked a small child into the vacated seat. By the time I asked to sit down, three nice sensible business men had left their group of four seats, winked at me and swapped with us so we could sit together! DP just stood looking on in embarrassed horror!
ag hogging is just RUDE!
mrsoakenshield that's nice of you. I'm not piss-taking. I mean it.
But I remember being told to stand for adults - by teachers, not my lovely mum btw - and I don't think that's fair if the only reason is to be blindly respectful to your elders.
There are lots of school trips on my Tube journey. I don't mind standing if kids have got the seat first. I'm able to do it and they've paid just like me.
I don't care if it's a child fare; my mother has a Freedom Pass, should she stand because she's paid nothing? I can't turf an adult out of their seat so why should I do it to a child or a pensioner?
I've given my seat to small children because they get bashed about. Usually parents like you say thanks and sit the child on their knee.
Obviously I'd like anyone of any age to give a seat to someone who can't stand easily, and I'm really grateful if they include me in that category if I'm wearing stupid shoes that day
And I'm grateful to anyone who puts a kid on their knee or makes two of them share a seat or tells an excited child to choose between having a seat or rushing around to talk to their friends.
<<spread the love on the Tube >>
There were two on a crowded stratford train yesterday that took up 4 seats as they had their feet up on the seats opposite and small suitcases taking up the floor room trying to block off further 2 seats. The shelf above them was empty so plenty of room to put them out of the way.
Feet on seats gives me the rage far more than handbags.
And people who leave free newspapers behind on seats or behind your neck. It's not a lending library. Put them neatly on the floor but preferably take them with you and bin them.
I don't expect it because of the fare, that wouldn't occur to me, it's more that I can still remember the absolute bone-crushing tiredness that can come over you after even a normal day's work. When you hang on a strap thinking 'if I let go, I will fall down'. When you fall so fast asleep you miss your stop by 3 stations. That's when I wish parents/carers would very kindly
tell ask their charges to double up or get up. DD may have had a super-jolly day frolicking at Grandma's, but she is not that exhausted worker. She just isn't. She's stood on the tube as well, I certainly wouldn't expect anyone to give up their seat for her, she's got good balance and is fit and healthy, so there's no need. It's kind if people offer, of course, but certainly at going-home time, I think their need is greater than hers! (I don't sit and expect her to stand, I should point out!)
I have to admit that I had my feet on the opposite seat the other day.
I was coming home from London after an invasive medical procedure and was jolly uncomfortable. In my defence, I put my feet on my coat on the seat, no one was sitting next to the seat, and the coach was fairly empty.
I got the rage that day on the way into London when a teenager had his wet shoes directly on the opposite seat. It was a busy train and there were people standing. He was sitting right under the sign saying "No feet on seats" too!
I sound quite hypocritical posting this, but my feet were technically not "on" the seat!
That's lovely of you mrsoakenfield Much appreciated. I find most people to be really considerate on the Tube and I expect they are all over the place.
Mind you, outsiders do like to go on about how terrible London is, which it's not. I get quite pissed off by that because I'm nice and I meet nice people all the time.
My mother is very elderly and most people are fantastic and amazed and impressed that she's still travelling. It makes me quite choked about how kind people can be.
Yesterday a 20-something offered my mum a seat immediately but she declined because it we were only going one stop and it would have been difficult to manoeuvre into the seat and manoeuvre back out.
And to be honest, though she's an old bat, she didn't need it
We thanked the girl but she was a bit put out because she wanted to do the right thing. Never mind, her heart was in the right place.
There are dispensations saggy. Putting your feet on your coat would count in my book
Join the discussion
Please login first.