to not know where I have gone wrong with my children. I am a miserable failure..........

(30 Posts)
AtYourCervix Sun 13-Oct-13 19:18:07

Daughter no1 has decided to be completely normal after all and managed to get caught by the police drinking cider in the park.

Daughter no2 has just admitted to not wearing a bra to church.

I'm just going to drink a lot of red wine and accept my shortcomings.

KirjavaTheCorpse Sun 13-Oct-13 19:20:40

Not wearing a bra to church?! What a delinquent!

grin

JesusInTheCabbageVan Sun 13-Oct-13 19:21:22

Is that a stealth boast AtYourCervix? grin Unless DD1 is 3 and DD2 has baps like mine (i.e. can tie them in a bow) I'd say you got off lightly!

ImperialBlether Sun 13-Oct-13 19:21:36

Have they had love bites yet?

My son looked like he'd been bitten by a wild animal - I could hardly believe it when he brought home a very demure girl who looked like butter wouldn't melt.

AtYourCervix Sun 13-Oct-13 19:21:48

shocking behaviour.

I blame myself.

It could be worse. Your dd could have been drinking cider in church whilst not wearing a bra.

ImperialBlether Sun 13-Oct-13 19:25:12

grin

ClaraOswald Sun 13-Oct-13 19:26:00

Not wearing a bra to church? Ooh, the little rebel!

TEErickOrTEEreat Sun 13-Oct-13 19:28:57

You have to leave MN. Right now. I cannot associate with such a mother.

::points towards door::

Thants Sun 13-Oct-13 19:28:58

Is there an underwear dress code at the church?

AtYourCervix Sun 13-Oct-13 19:31:09

shit Tee shock really? is it that bad?

YouTheCat Sun 13-Oct-13 19:33:16

I feel faint at the thought of this atrocious behaviour. grin

AtYourCervix Sun 13-Oct-13 19:34:01

disclaimer.........

I've spent the last 15 years trying to hep DD2 fit in. i'm secretly relieved and massively proud of her. while on the outrside shaking my head and saying sadly 'i'm very disappointed in you'.

DD1 however is beyond redemption.

junkfoodaddict Sun 13-Oct-13 19:35:38

I think your girls are a bit 'odd'. They aren't behaving badly enough!

YouTheCat Sun 13-Oct-13 19:40:35

You need to train your dd1 with vodka. Cider is for 13 year olds. grin

AtYourCervix Sun 13-Oct-13 19:44:28

I've managed to get the Ds the wrong way around.

DD2 was caught by the police ( not even drining as she doesn't)

DD1 was bra-less.

i'm an even worse parent for forgetting which D was which.

TEErickOrTEEreat Sun 13-Oct-13 19:45:08

The issue, Cervix, is that it was cider. Everyone knows you drink lager in the park.

No manners, kids these days.

AtYourCervix Sun 13-Oct-13 19:47:52

in my day it was lager.

It was stella pear cidre if that helps?

TEErickOrTEEreat Sun 13-Oct-13 19:50:13

Well, that's slightly better.

Now, the braless one...

We drank Cinzano in the park in the 70s.

I blame Joan Collins.

TEErickOrTEEreat Sun 13-Oct-13 19:54:18

Unless she was taking part in No Bra Day, which was today?

BonaDea Sun 13-Oct-13 19:54:54

I drank cider in loads of places when I was a teenager. I turned out ok. Oh, and I was once sick in church.

AtYourCervix Sun 13-Oct-13 19:56:36

she has decided that every sunday is no bra day.

shock

but being the size and shape of a twig it isn't really noticeable.

RhondaJean Sun 13-Oct-13 19:57:55

Could be worse.

My dd admitted to me today there had been a big fight among her group of friends yesterday because some of them were drinking cider at the beach park in the afternoon in front of families and she poured the cider out.

And lectured them.

TEErickOrTEEreat Sun 13-Oct-13 19:58:16

Well, if she has no breasts, fair enough.

Perhaps a camisole?

Earthworms Sun 13-Oct-13 20:00:15

Nah., deffo was cider or mad dog20/20 in the park. Nowt else was acceptable.

Pear cider would have got you ostracised I'm afraid.

Lager was for the bus shelter and train station

Everyone know that

Oh ^Cervix^ why did she get caught ? Have you taught her nothing? Are you so incompetent? You need to teach her some basic evasive actions, demure responses, and how to Lie Through Ones Teeth To The Nice Officer On Demand Duh! <shakes head sadly>

Donkeyok Sun 13-Oct-13 21:54:14

What was she caught for if not drinking?

At least she's not drinking cider in the bus shelter like I did

WorraLiberty Sun 13-Oct-13 21:58:25

Bloody hell RhondaJean no wonder there was a fight!

RhondaJean Sun 13-Oct-13 22:03:48

I think it was the lecture wot did it worra.

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