to think that thin people don't get asked this question?

(42 Posts)
poachedeggs Fri 11-Oct-13 07:07:34

Or perhaps I'm being hypersensitive. But it really pisses me off!

Twice recently I've bumped into acquaintances when I've been setting off on a bike ride. Both times they've been really surprised and asked "Are you trying to get fit?".

Now I'm not a skinny type. I'm size 18. However, I exercise 2-3 times a week and walk daily. I can keep up when a group of us ride and I have good stamina. I rode 20 miles off road on Saturday, comfortably. I do all of this for convenience and pleasure, nothing more. I feel like because I'm fat people assume I must be trying to change myself.

So do thin people get asked this too?

TidyDancer Fri 11-Oct-13 07:09:29

I've been fat and think and only been asked it when I was fat. So ime, yanbu.

There are still lots of people out there who wrongly associate thin with being fit.

TidyDancer Fri 11-Oct-13 07:09:48

Fat and think thin

Methe Fri 11-Oct-13 07:10:10

Of course they would! What else would you ask someone who was just heading out on their bike?

Quodlibet Fri 11-Oct-13 07:10:24

No, and you are much much fitter than me. I'm a size 10 and look 'fit' but couldn't ride 20 miles.

mynameisnotmichaelcaine Fri 11-Oct-13 07:10:54

I am quite slim, and when I go running I get "oh, you don't need to do that!", as though the only point of exercise is to lose weight.

Just keep biking op and ignore, ignore, ignore!

poachedeggs Fri 11-Oct-13 07:11:04

Is there a rule that you must ask something?!

poachedeggs Fri 11-Oct-13 07:13:58

This is it, I have skinny mates who can't ride at my pace. People are inevitably surprised that I'm not as slow as they'd expected, which is in itself a bit annoying. I just point out to them that you can't carry 5 extra stones around without being pretty fit grin … also, I have a personal rule that I will never waddle!

JiltedJohnsJulie Fri 11-Oct-13 07:15:13

I lit like a rake and people keep asking me that, usually whilst laughing too...

Yabu and a bit oversensitive too.

Flicktheswitch Fri 11-Oct-13 07:18:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mamapants Fri 11-Oct-13 07:21:52

I am a size 6 and imagine if anyone ever saw me on a bike they would ask if I was on a fitness kick, definitely.
I am not unfit but I'm not very sporty. People say the same if they see me or DP (also slim) running.
I don't think its size related.
Although if I had seen you heading out on your bike I would say something along the lines of how you must be much fitter than me! It seems to be a more popular comment.
Mumsnet always surprises with me though with how people can take random comments and turn them negative. Like when loads of people got het up about being told they look well.

poachedeggs Fri 11-Oct-13 07:27:56

I don't get arsey when people ask this, by the way. I just say "No, I just like cycling". But the surprise is what narks me. If I see someone eating a cake I don't ask "Are you trying to gain weight?". I just assume they like cake

Jinty64 Fri 11-Oct-13 07:34:45

But if they see you eating a salad it's likely to be "oh salad! Are you on a diet" or perhaps I'm just sensitive too.


FacebookWanker Fri 11-Oct-13 07:36:01

I had "you don't need to worry about that" from the midwife at my booking in appointment when I told her I was going to strat eating healthily during my pregnancy.

oohdaddypig Fri 11-Oct-13 07:40:20

Sometimes I think people just like making polite (slightly inane) conversation....

In fairness, I think most people who are 5 stone overweight probably aren't very fit. The two things don't generally go hand in hand.. You sound very fit.

TEErickOrTEEreat Fri 11-Oct-13 07:41:13

Methe How about 'Where are you riding too?' or even 'Have a nice ride!'

Why imply anything about fitness or the state thereof?

flipchart Fri 11-Oct-13 08:03:48

I would ask that question to someone that I hadn't previously known to ride a bike. Eg if DH suddenly decided to take up cycling I would ask him that. However if my friend who is over weight but she is a gym bunny did it wouldn't suprise me IYSWIM

It wouldn't be a weight issue, more of a change in character.

poachedeggs Fri 11-Oct-13 08:19:39

That's the thing flip, I've been cycling for a year and a half and before that I used to run. It's not a change. These are acquaintances who know me via my job or the DC. They presumably expect me to be lying on a sofa eating Dairy Milk, not setting off into the darkness on a bike.

I only lie on the sofa eating Dairy Milk a few days a week

People make assumptions rightly or wrongly. I have lost a fair bit of weigh on my health/gym kick and get all sorts of ridiculous comments made to me.

HopeS01 Fri 11-Oct-13 08:46:38

I totally agree OP, YANBU

HighJinx Fri 11-Oct-13 09:00:07

YANBU people have a totally skewed that exercise is nothing more than a way to get/stay slim.

I also get a bit irritated by the people who make comments about my going running or for a bike ride that are clearly said just to make them feel better about the fact that they don't exercise when there is no need to say anything at all.

stowsettler Fri 11-Oct-13 09:05:36

Surely it's whether people are used to it or not? I am by no means thin, but I am quite fit and do a lot of exercise. No-one comments if I'm out for a run or off down the gym because they're used to it.

I am thin ish. Used to be a lot thinner, people always used to ask me if I was trying to keep fit when I cycled to work.
Maybe it's just one of those silly things you just say, instead of talking about the weather, holidays etc.

UriGHOULer Fri 11-Oct-13 09:27:26

Thin people get asked, "are you alright? You look tired" and "Have you eaten?" And "Oh, we're going out for a meal but you won't be interested, will you?"
And <headtilt> "You're very thin, aren't you?"

People just want to say something.

GrendelsMum Fri 11-Oct-13 09:27:48

With me, it's always something like 'ooh, you're very good', or 'ooh, you must be fit' when they hear I cycle in to work. It's only 30mins,so I don't feel qualified for sainthood just yet...

WorraLiberty Fri 11-Oct-13 11:04:00

It's probably got nothing to do with your weight and more to do with the fact so many people drive everywhere, rather than cycle or walk.

LessMissAbs Fri 11-Oct-13 11:10:21

I don't see a lot of thin people around. When I do, they often look ill and so I wouldn't ask them this. I do however see plenty of slim people around, and if I were the sort of person who asks that sort of question, and hadn't previously seen them on a bike, I would probably ask a slim person it.

CrapBag Fri 11-Oct-13 11:13:04

Tell them to watch that programme that was on last night (should be on BBC iplayer maybe) on BBC, something about ask the doctor or something like that.

They showed people lined up according to their BMI, then again after measuring how much fat was in their bodies, then they tested their actual fitness and made them line up again. The results were very interesting. The bigger people who were classed as obese were the fitter ones!

MikeReepySpooksard Fri 11-Oct-13 11:20:12

I've been fat and think. I don't think I've ever been asked that. Clearly I've never given anyone the impression I'm trying to get fit wouldn't know exercise if it bit me on my lazy arse but I did recently ask a think friend if he was trying to get fit because he started to cycle to work. It was a yes and no, but mainly because he'd recently moved closer to work as it happens, so now lived close enough to cycle in.

MikeReepySpooksard Fri 11-Oct-13 11:20:31

*thin, not think!

I'm slim and I get asked if I'm on a diet every time I have hummus for lunch in work. Have taken to reading out the fat content on the side.. I also get a sainthood 'ooh, you're very good' when I cycle into work.. its ten minutes away! People just have to fill the air with unnecessary crap.

Coupon Fri 11-Oct-13 12:01:42

YANBU. It's a patronising question which they wouldn't ask someone they perceived to be fit. Your reply "No, I just like cycling" is a good answer. There are so many nicer things they could say like "great weather for cycling" or even "how are you?"!

KatoPotato Fri 11-Oct-13 12:16:18

People can generally just be weird. I've lost 5 stone over the past 18months, through exercise and diet.

I dropped a kettlebell on my foot at the gym so missed a catch up with some old friends, and they were positively squealing with glee that this had happened?

'ooooh, excercise isn't good for your health then? haha!'

'haha glad I just spent the morning in bed with tea and cake!'

No actual sympathy, despite me really injuring myself!

Sukebind Fri 11-Oct-13 12:46:13

No, YANBU. If the people saying this just wanted to be friendly/make conversation they could just say they hope you enjoy your ride or whatever. That said, I don't think you can justify anything other than an (overly?) cheery clarification that you love cycling and go out a fair bit. Then whizz off!
My own weight tends to yo-yo and when thinner I get told I don't 'need' to go the gym and asked why I am going. Rubbish. I wish people just wouldn't comment on weight especially as I have a recurring EDNOS.

TrinityRhino Fri 11-Oct-13 12:49:30

I'm a size 12 and when I was a 10 and I bought a push bike I got asked this a lot

I'm exceedingly unfit

like seriously unfit

most intelligent people realise that fitness isn't being slim

Dahlen Fri 11-Oct-13 12:53:26

I think it's probably one of those inane things people say out of habit, not dissimilar to "want to come and do mine next?" when people spot you mowing the lawn.

SparkyTGD Fri 11-Oct-13 12:54:49

I think they may be trying to ask "are you trying to lose weight?" but don't want to be so rude.

People do associate slimness with fitness and I don't think a slim person would be so likely to be asked the question.

Hullygully Fri 11-Oct-13 12:57:33

I'm really really thin and I get asked that all the time.

Or would if I had a bike, ever rode it and was thin, I bet

Blissx Fri 11-Oct-13 13:15:03

I have lost count of the times people have commented that I look "anorexic" to "ill" and I just happen to be a tall 9 stone. This started from school right to the present. Have had strangers in swimming baths tell me this. So no, YABU that thin people also get abuse (and it seems more "acceptable" for some reason) although I agree, no one should have comments aimed at them for any reason.

poachedeggs Fri 11-Oct-13 13:25:49

Hully grin

It's a passing comment, which is actually a thinly veiled judgement. In my often hormonal head they're actually saying "What are you doing on a bike, you fat hog? You shouldwho tucking into a burger and chips. This does not compute."

It makes me imagine asking someone who was off for a facial "Are you trying to sort your skin out?". It's rude.

Deffo not disputing that its rude, it is. I wouldn't dream of asking the questions a lot of people ask!

Takingbackmonday Fri 11-Oct-13 14:42:06

I'm a 6-8 and regularly get told I don't need to go to the gym, which is equally irritating.

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