to not warn this woman at work?

(51 Posts)
boardcreche Thu 10-Oct-13 09:04:18

posted before about a work colleague who was making my life a misery and whether or not to go to HR... decided not to as I thought I could play that game too kind of thing... HOWEVER... have just found out through some higher up contacts in work that we have a major shake up coming up in the dept. One that she will hate and affects her to the point that she might leave - i would if i were her - but if she knew about it now she might be able to get herself in a better position come the changes.
I am torn. at first I thought, ha serves her right, but now feel guilty and feel I should give her heads up as someone has for me. If these changes happen they way i have heard BTW I wont have to worry about her at all whatever happens.
Do I warn her? Or leave her to it? The only other thing is the info is confidential and if i warned her and she blabbed on me I and my ' informants' could get in big trouble. she is a gossip but i assume she would keep this to herself

MidniteScribbler Thu 10-Oct-13 09:05:38

the info is confidential

The rest of your post is irrelevant.

Why would you feel the need to warn her? Honestly, leave her to it otherwise it might come across that you're just trying to get one over her by showing you know something she doesn't.

JRmumma Thu 10-Oct-13 09:06:17

Don't tell her. If there is going to be a shake up then you don't want to put yourself in a vulnerable situation by sharing confidential information.

NotYoMomma Thu 10-Oct-13 09:07:53

don't tell her at all

1) because she is a knob
2) because it will look bad on you if it gets round
3) she might try and manipulate the situation so it is better for herself and worse for you/ others

BeScarefulWhatYouWitchFor Thu 10-Oct-13 09:07:54

What Midnite said.

FoxPass Thu 10-Oct-13 09:08:14

don't tell her as there's a chance she could use it against you. would she warn you? doesn't sound like it.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Thu 10-Oct-13 09:09:09

Don't tell her.

A) it's confidential and you could get the person who told you the sack
B) you could get the sack
C) she doesn't deserve your potential risk

No brainer - keep this to yourself and hopefully you will keep your job.

deXavia Thu 10-Oct-13 09:09:14

No don't talk
Firstly it's confidential and you could cause problems for yourself and whoever told you
Secondly you don't know it's 100% sure it's going to happen so it may be all for nothing
Thirdly you have no idea how she might react, she might leave or she might shrug it off ... Or she may already know and be plotting a way to get better out of it

In short absolutely no good can come of telling her....

EllaFitzgerald Thu 10-Oct-13 09:10:00

I wouldn't. Mostly because you could get other people into trouble if it's found out you've passed the information on and you've got no guarantee she'll keep quiet.

JemR234 Thu 10-Oct-13 09:10:21

Oh no don't do it, you have no reason to trust this woman and she could get you in a whole heap of trouble, as well as the person who's told you. Leave well alone.

thebody Thu 10-Oct-13 09:12:19

be the professional you are presumably paid to be and don't gossip. you will damage your own reputation and it could back fire on you spectacularly.

LookingThroughTheFog Thu 10-Oct-13 09:12:46

No, do not share confidential information with anyone. Don't gossip about it.

It's confidential.

MrsSchadenfreude Thu 10-Oct-13 09:13:02

Don't tell her a) because the information is confidential b) because you have only heard second hand and c) it might not be confirmed yet and not happen, in which case you will look either unhinged or a bitch for spreading a rumour.

FannyFifer Thu 10-Oct-13 09:13:15

Christ no, keep it to yourself.

Pachacuti Thu 10-Oct-13 09:13:53

It's confidential. Have you read the bit of your own post where you "assume" that this woman who makes your life a misery will keep it to herself rather than get you in big trouble?

It's confidential. That is all

sebsmummy1 Thu 10-Oct-13 09:14:54

Of course you don't tell her.

It doesn't matter whether you've decided in your head that she needs to know or it's the right thing to tell her. ATEOTD i fully suspect it will come back and bite your arse if you do, so keep shtum and keep your head down.

Plus for all you know your informant found be wrong or something could change along the way and your job could suddenly be on shaky ground and you will end up looking like you've stirred the pot.

nicename Thu 10-Oct-13 09:17:51

If the info is confidential, keep it that way. You could end up in trouble repeating it.

If you did blab and she snithced on you, that wouldn't go down well. Also if she had a) stormed into HR and told them to shovw their job, or b) she made some changes sand still didn't get the job - she'd be out for your blood.

It may not happen! So many times I was given plans that were signed and sealed, only for the bosses to go into reverse ferret the next day.

Wait and see. Her career is not your bnusines, and her being 'good' for a few days won't wipe out a career of incompetance, bad blood, laziness...whatever.

boardcreche Thu 10-Oct-13 09:26:29

O know, I now you are all right. she cant be trusted. and tho this is confiential i work in one of those places where things never stay confidential long. my contact is very senior so am sure it is happening. maybe if she'd been nicer in her career she wouldnt be about to get sidelined like this...

SomethingProfound Thu 10-Oct-13 09:29:10

Don't warn her. Based on your previous thread she does not sound like the kind of person who will receive this act as one of kindness, nor will she return the favor you will be doing her by remaining silent on the matter.

If she was a trusted friend I would say it is worth the risk but this is a person that has systematically tried to undermine you and cause you difficulty. You can not hold her up to the same standards you hold for yourself she has clearly demonstrated previously that her moral compass is below par. IMHO trusting her will be a huge mistake, use this info for your advantage secure your position and keep schtum.

Telling her would be career suicide.

Scarifying Thu 10-Oct-13 09:33:22

I agree with lots of the other posters,

It a no brainer.

It's confidential

theboutiquemummy Thu 10-Oct-13 09:45:20

Say nothing someone has trusted you with inside information, if she was meant to know then she would do you may not be aware of the politics behind her treatment within the organisation you never know whose feet she's trodden on

On another note why do you feel the need to get her approval or make her a friend or to be acknowledged by someone so awful

Hold your head up, don't drop down to her level, she will only manipulate it and you'll be the victim all over again

Instead focus on you and remember Karma really does exist

allforoneandoneforall Thu 10-Oct-13 09:48:57

say nothing!!

ChasedByBees Thu 10-Oct-13 09:59:05

Absolutely say nothing. If the plans change, it could look like you are trying to drive her out. She's a gossip, she malicious, there's no way telling her would end well.

boardcreche Thu 10-Oct-13 10:06:34

Boutique - you are right karma, thats what another colleague ( who is also in the know!) said to me.

Milkjug Thu 10-Oct-13 10:07:23

Your post makes no sense to me. Why on earth would you put your own professional reputation and job on the line to break a confidentiality agreement for someone who makes your working life difficult, and who is an indiscreet gossip who would be very likely to name the source of the 'leak'????

Why not simply sit back, wait for events to transpire and nastily enjoy her being discomfited without you having had to lift a finger?

BloodiedGhouloshes Thu 10-Oct-13 10:07:32

Info is confidential.

That is all.

havatry Thu 10-Oct-13 10:09:26

No keep it to yourself. Chances are the person who blabbed to you will blab to her anyway. Stay well out of it.

another one for do not tell
good luck with all the changes

Retroformica Thu 10-Oct-13 10:15:57

You shouldn't break confidentiality. Put your friends first. Don't get them in to trouble

ScrambledSmegs Thu 10-Oct-13 10:48:17

It's confidential. You are not only NBU, you are positively virtuous in not passing on the information.

Tanith Thu 10-Oct-13 11:32:29

It's not your information to share.

If someone lent you £100, would you give it to her? Might help you to see things in perspective.

I'd also have a good think about just why you feel the need to put yourself and others into a vulnerable position and destroy your reputation for trustworthiness in order to appease someone you dislike. You could be a sitting duck for the next unpleasant work colleague otherwise.

Suzieismyname Thu 10-Oct-13 11:35:09

Don't say anything. ..

eurochick Thu 10-Oct-13 11:37:37

God no.

It's confidential.
She could blab and make things bad for you and your source.
Why would you want to help someone who has made your life difficult?

oldgrandmama Thu 10-Oct-13 11:41:42

No-brainer ... keep out of it.

Tuppenceinred Thu 10-Oct-13 12:47:54

It's confidential - you have no choice - say nothing.

She is a bully.
You want to be nice to her so she likes you doesn't bully you.
Do you think this will work?

DOn't tell her - and just sit back and enjoy the scene. Karma. grin

mydoorisalwaysopen Thu 10-Oct-13 13:00:27

You are going to take this advice, aren't you OP? Don't tell for ask the reasons already given.

mydoorisalwaysopen Thu 10-Oct-13 13:00:49

All not ask.

donnie Thu 10-Oct-13 13:09:11

keep silent - if you are found out to have revealed confidential info it could seriously affect your employment situation and record.

boardcreche Thu 10-Oct-13 14:25:33

to answer why I would think about helping her out with info - i do feel soory for her a bit because shes an unhappy person = why she is so difficult at work but mainly cos i know shes a single mum who has had a horrible divorce and a change in employment would make things hard for her
i AM taking advice and keeping quiet tho.

Aniseeda Thu 10-Oct-13 15:15:40

Don't tell her

and don't tell anyone else either. It won't go well for you or the person who told you (and shouldn't have!)

DontmindifIdo Thu 10-Oct-13 15:20:44

Just to join the other saying don't tell her. You can justify it if it comes out later that you knew by saying it was told to you in confidence, by not telling her you are doing the right thing.

Idespair Thu 10-Oct-13 15:24:24

I don't understand the dilemma. The info in confidential so you'd be taking a risk telling her. I can see why someone might be torn re whether to take the risk for a very close friend but this woman is nasty and horrible! Don't tell her!

JustinBsMum Thu 10-Oct-13 15:26:45

One of the bosses could be run over by a bus tomorrow morning and the big changes coming up could all be cancelled.

You are assuming things which might not happen. Don't say anything.

difficultpickle Thu 10-Oct-13 15:33:44

You don't know that she doesn't already know. She may have her own sources. If you tell her and she already knows then she will tell those that told her, and you will be in trouble for breaching confidences. If she doesn't know and you tell her she may create such a fuss that it comes back to you. I can't see any reason why you would want to tell her. If you keep that confidential info to yourself and your sources know this then they may be forthcoming with further confidential info in future that could help you.

PosyNarker Thu 10-Oct-13 16:11:21

It's confidential, you don't like her and she's making life unpleasant for you.

Can't see any reason to risk sharing with her to be frank.

LimitedEditionLady Fri 11-Oct-13 09:08:38

If you arent meant to know then YOU DONT KNOW.

shewhowines Fri 11-Oct-13 09:48:56

Karma is a bitch grin

She might know anyway. If she does would she tell you? Nope, didn't think so.

zoobaby Fri 11-Oct-13 10:10:32

Maybe she's already keeping this info confidential. Possibly already planning to nab herself a better position. If I were you, I'd concentrate on whatever implications I could mitigate against for myself.

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