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aibu to think if youre blw then clean up after yourself!

(107 Posts)
judgejudithjudy Tue 08-Oct-13 09:48:23

so fed up of eating out watching people doing blw & leaving a huge mess all over the floor without any attempt to clean it up!

IceBeing Tue 08-Oct-13 09:49:03


this is context specific...

noblegiraffe Tue 08-Oct-13 09:51:14

I've tried to get my baby to clear up after herself but she just insists on mashing more food into the chair.

Plonkysaurus Tue 08-Oct-13 09:53:50

Define cleaning up after yourself please.

If we're out and the baby had destroyed his immediate surroundings I do sweep them up with a napkin, and grab any big chunks off the floor.

I could request similar of people who come into my shop, use the staff toilet and piss all over the floor. But it's my job to clean so I do it.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Tue 08-Oct-13 09:55:44

Yes - I do. My friends doesn't at all and I find it really rude and embarrassing.

But I don't understand when you are a) not the parent b) not with the parent c) not the one cleaning up why you are 'fed up' of it.

Sparklingbrook Tue 08-Oct-13 09:55:50

I think people will be split on this......

I think you leave the table as you found it-others will say it's 'not their job' or 'that's what the staff are paid to do'.

But don't stack the dirty plates-I learnt that was a no-no.

Florin Tue 08-Oct-13 09:56:13

We have blw and also take my son out to eat about once a week but without fail always try and clear up as much as possible.

MrsLettuce Tue 08-Oct-13 09:57:42

Many a time I've asked for a dustpan and brush / cloth / whatever to finish up after a cursory gathering up of the main detritus of BLW only to be thanked and told they'd do it.

Sparklingbrook Tue 08-Oct-13 09:58:25

I remember being in a pub once and there were twin babies in high chairs doing BLW (whatever that is-it was called 'sticking the food on the high chair tray and letting him get on with it' in 1999). The mess was disgusting and the other children were getting up and down and treading in it and walking it through the pub. sad

Bearfrills Tue 08-Oct-13 10:02:13

I thought it was good manners to at least attempt to clean up after your children when you're out, no matter whether they're BLW or not. For example, if we go to the pub for lunch after we've eaten I pick up any big chunks the DCs have dropped and I give the high chair a quick wipe over with a baby wipe, if there's any food on the table itself I pick it up and put it on a plate.

I think it's plain rude to leave food all over the floor, yes there are staff and part of their job is to clean the restaurant area but there's no need to leave huge pieces of food (especially half chewed food) lying around. They'll still need to wipe the table, sweep the floor, etc but why make it harder for them by leaving a complete mess? A distant family member came out for food with us once and her DC chucked 90% of his meal on the floor and mashed the rest into the tray of the high chair, then she just left it. We were among the last to leave and I ended up cleaning the big pieces up because I thought there was no need for it, it's just rude.

Jengnr Tue 08-Oct-13 10:02:27

I always clean up after my boy and am mostly told by the staff not to.

I think you should at least show willing.

Jengnr Tue 08-Oct-13 10:04:28

Mind you, I always clean the high chair first too since they are frequently minging.

complexnumber Tue 08-Oct-13 10:07:15

What is BLW?

SparkyTGD Tue 08-Oct-13 10:08:36

just what I was going to ask complex

SparkyTGD Tue 08-Oct-13 10:09:36

have now noticed its 'baby led weaning', its in the acronyms.

BurberryQ Tue 08-Oct-13 10:10:25

BLW - 'baby led weaning' it is a fashionable buzzword for what people have been doing for years,,,,,and apparently an excuse for leaving a huge mess!

Sparklingbrook Tue 08-Oct-13 10:11:12

Yes 'Baby led weaning'. hmm When did it get named that?

WillYouDoTheMonsterMash Tue 08-Oct-13 10:13:42

I always do, but if I go out with other people from baby groups I find that I'm the only one who does. My baby is ridiculously messy so I always pick up any chunks and give any sticky marks a wipe over with a baby wipe.

Mooycow Tue 08-Oct-13 10:13:46

We were in Hong Kong for 3 weeks in August , and if we attempted to clear a table, throw away a cup etc whilst having a meal .we were royally told off, it's their job to clear / wait tables and if the management see they are not needed , they will lose their job? Unemployment is a big issue.

LittleMissGerardLouiseButler Tue 08-Oct-13 10:16:06

BLW - baby led weaning.

I work in a cafe, and while I know it is my job to clear tables and clean, and I don't expect people to stack plates etc I do get annoyed when they leave a real mess on the table/floor, I don't say anything and I don't mind a bit of mess, but some people take the piss!

Most people attempt a bit of a clean up and I'm happy with that.

I clean the high chairs after each use too. One customer cane in recently though, and the table had just been cleaned as she watched me do it, then she got out the baby wipes and noone was allowed to sit down till she had wiped down everything including chairs! Her other half just looked at me embarrassed! I know what it's like to have OCD as I've had it for over 25 years now, so understand people do things they can't help, but I've never seen anything like it!

judgejudithjudy Tue 08-Oct-13 10:16:28

in restaraunts - babies throwing so much food on the floor & parents who dont even attempt to clear up. of course its nothing like a dirty plate. its rude. i blw but always clean up after myself. its not a waitresses job to hoover up trodden in food before the next person wants to sit down!

Norudeshitrequired Tue 08-Oct-13 10:20:59

Genuine question to those who work in cafés / restaurants; why don't you like customers stacking the empty plates?
I do it sometimes when there are a lot of plates as they get in my way once I have finished eating and am trying to sort the kids out and clean them up without them sticking their hands back into the plates.
If it is generally an offensive thing to do then I will refrain from doing it.

Sparklingbrook Tue 08-Oct-13 10:22:08

I think it's something to do with the bottom of the plate getting dirty No. I had no idea. blush Thought I was being helpful.

WahIzzit Tue 08-Oct-13 10:23:40

Yanbu. I find it incredibly rude. Sure they have staff to clean the tables and floors, but would we allow our dc to drop litter on the ground outside simply because we have roadsweepers etc who are emplpyed to clean the streets? Its minging to leave a huge mess, and downright disrespectful.

2tiredtocare Tue 08-Oct-13 10:26:00

I always clear up the table and underneath if my baby makes a mess and usually get told to leave it by the waiting staff but you should definitely always attempt, it's only polite and my baby is super messy

BenNJerry Tue 08-Oct-13 10:30:08

I used to waitress and hated this. I wouldn't expect someone to clean everything up but at least the big bits. It wasn't just babies either - we had older children throwing food on the floor and parents leaving it there. It's not even the cleaning it up that bothered me, it's that it looks messy to other customers. Especially on busy days, if the table was vacated and we needed to get it ready again quickly it was a bugger trying to get it cleaned asap.

IceBeing Tue 08-Oct-13 10:32:44

I have been told off before in cafes for picking up BLW mess....often along the lines of 'we can do it faster and better if you just get out the way' although more politely said obviously...

LittleMissGerardLouiseButler Tue 08-Oct-13 10:35:20

I don't mind people stacking plates at all but I find it easier to stack them myself to get maximum usage of the tray I'm carrying! I do appreciate customers trying to help though grin

ThoraNomiki Tue 08-Oct-13 10:35:31

Jeez I'd hate to be your child! Do you get your baby to change it's own nappy as well? hmm

Babies make mess when learning to eat unless people do that extended mostly unnecessary spoon/mush-feeding thing. But yes it's nice if the parents of that baby make an attempt at cleaning it up.

Tailtwister Tue 08-Oct-13 10:37:08

YANBU. BLW or not, if your child drops food on the floor you should clean it up. It is the job of the staff to collect plates etc, but not pick up food from under the table. We used to pick it up as and when it was dropped by our two, especially if it landed in an area where people were walking. If someone slipped it could cause a nasty accident.

RoonilWazlibWuvsHermyown Tue 08-Oct-13 10:43:08

I don't clean food off the floor because my OCD means if I touch the floor (or hands go near it) I'd have to go wash my hands before touching dd again and I can't leave toddler dd alone to go and can't take her with me if I can't touch her. Not all of us who don't make an attempt to clean up food on the floor are being rude or disrespectful.

QueenofKelsingra Tue 08-Oct-13 10:51:36

all 3 of mine were BLW, my DTs are only 17m so still make a fair bit of mess when out. I absolutely do a quick scoot round the floor - I don't scrub it or anything but get up all the main bits with a napkin/wipes. a bit of mess/crumbs in natural and to be expected when eating but leaving BLW style mess is rude and inconsiderate to the staff and other customers.

with regard to the stacking plates thing - used to work in a hotel and it is annoying when people try to 'help' by stacking plates. I am able to stack and carry much more at one time if I do it myself. there is a way of carrying plates, one in your hand to hold the cutlery and then stack the others on your wrist (hard to explain) and this isn't possible if the plates are already haphazardly stacked.

Itsaboatjack Tue 08-Oct-13 10:57:56

Norudeshit It's helpful to stack plates as long as you do it properly as you would at home ie. scrape all uneaten food onto the top plate. It's not so appreciated when people stack plates and squish all the food between them so you have to pick it off before it can go in the dishwasher.

OP YANBU, I always do a cursory clean up when I the dc eat out.

SHarri13 Tue 08-Oct-13 10:59:30

I'm not sure it's BLW specific either is it? Babies not in that 'group' eat food and make mess too don't they? I just can't understand to need to specify one, small group.

Norudeshitrequired Tue 08-Oct-13 11:00:55

Oh I wouldn't leave food on a plate and squash another on top there wouldn't be any food left with my greedy bunch to squash . I always make sure any scraps are on the top plate along with the cutlery and that the plates are stacked in size order so that they don't topple over (biggest plate at the bottom of the pile.
Oh dear, I think I have OCD blush

RoonilWazlibWuvsHermyown Tue 08-Oct-13 11:02:52

Oh my! I stack plates by size so they don't fall over! I must have OCD <titter> <blush> <giggle> this place sometimes hmm

mortuusUrsus Tue 08-Oct-13 11:03:23

Waiting staff don't mind plate stacking, it's the washers up who do. But fuck that lot, the washers up were always a miserable bunch where I worked grin

Norudeshitrequired Tue 08-Oct-13 12:13:14

Oh my! I stack plates by size so they don't fall over! I must have OCD <titter> <blush> <giggle> this place sometimes

Well I apologise if I offended you as that was certainly not my intention. I was thinking along the lines of some people think nothing of leaving their BLW mess behind and then here is me overthinking the method of plate stacking that both gets the plates out of my way and prevents them from toppling over and thus creating more mess. I was considering that I totally overthink these things and need to learn to leave the plates to the waitress to manage rather than being pedantic and fussing and annoying the waitress with my misguided attempts at helpfulness.

Norudeshitrequired Tue 08-Oct-13 12:14:56

Probably a good idea not to take baby out to eat if you can't for whatever reason bring yourself to clean up the huge pile of BLW mess when you have finished.

AndIFeedEmGunpowder Tue 08-Oct-13 12:30:44

DH is shameless and has asked waiting staff what they prefer. Apparently the polite thing is always to ask to borrow a dustpan and brush, usually the staff will say 'please don't worry about it' and then you leave a big tip. grin

MrsOakenshield Tue 08-Oct-13 12:34:39

I have a friend who weaned her baby in the cafe near her house (not blw, but the point's the same) and she loved at as she didn't have to clear up the mess. I just couldn't have gone in there day after day leaving a mess behind me, the staff must have loathed her.

openerofjars Tue 08-Oct-13 12:40:36

If you're, for example, sleep-deprived, frazzled and at the end of your tether with the delightful toddler you are attempting to feed/coat in baked beans, is it okay to give up cleaning because it's just making the situation worse (think beans in everyone's hair plus horrible screeching) and leave a bigger tip, so you can go and have a cry somewhere secluded?

openerofjars Tue 08-Oct-13 12:41:24

Xpost with Gunpowder, must learn to type with more than 1 finger...

MiaowTheCat Tue 08-Oct-13 12:50:38

I always pick up the dropped food when I take the kids out to eat and they're messy. Would be twatish to do otherwise.

It's people taking kids out and behaving like self entitled twats that make it hard for ANYONE taking kids out to eat without people being on a hostile footing from the off with it all.

Scrounger Tue 08-Oct-13 12:51:08

YANBU, I get up the large pieces from the floor, wipe the table down etc. It is just polite, my children are / were a bit messy and more so than most adults so why should waiting staff have to clear up half chewed pieces of bread.

Openerofjars, I think in that situation, leave a big tip and run. I would, sometimes it is better for everyone for just to go and leave them in peace.

lainiekazan Tue 08-Oct-13 12:52:31

Ds recently went on a trip to Germany. The guide told them that it is the height of bad manners to leave mess on a table there. I wish it were the same here!

I feel disgusted when I see people allowing their dcs to make a horrendous mess. I don't want to sit in squashed banana, have greasy fingermarks all over the chair arms, or have my shoes stick to the carpet. Those people who go into an eating establishment and then get out a picnic for their children should have to pay a cover charge (actually, treble the cover charge).

AndIFeedEmGunpowder Tue 08-Oct-13 13:05:59

openerofjars grin I have been there so many times. Once they very sweetly brought me a free coffee 'because I looked like I needed it' (!)

KirjavaTheCorpse Tue 08-Oct-13 13:11:27

I do/did. I get an eyeroll from DP who was fully intending to leave the table as it was, but because I've started sweeping crumbs and placing forks and used napkins on empty plates/trays he has to do it too grin

It's good manners to leave the table easily serviced by an employee, ready for the next customer, imo. Even if that just means gathering your shit together and leaving it neat.

Beastofburden Tue 08-Oct-13 13:11:49

Hmmm. In My Day you did BLW at home (actually we called it "cant be arsed with this/I am busy with the other kids") and if you ate out, you spoon fed the baby or gave it finger food of the kind that doesnt drip or drop everywhere. If the baby dropped it on the floor that wasnt BLW either, that was "OK, she's not hungry."

It's not like BF, they wont refuse to eat independently ever again, if they were helped once. People must eat out a lot more often than we used to grin

kali110 Tue 08-Oct-13 13:19:03

Hate people who dont even try to clean up after themselves.
Used to work in a cafe and i couldnt believe the mess people would just leave. So entitled !
Dont mind people not stacking plates as they never do it the way the servers do which means it takes them longer to sort but atleast pick up the bits off floor and mashed banana off the table if your going to let your child mash it into it.
I would never leave a table in the state some people left for me its just rude.
I saw on costas facebook page the other wk a woman moaning because she'd been asked to pick up the bits her toddler had dropped all over the floor.
Could believe it, how precious

katese11 Tue 08-Oct-13 13:20:07

I found asking for a big stack of napkins and a glass of tap water helped with the clean-up (dip napkin in tap water for table-wiping) and always pick up the big bits...but mostly staff tell me not to worry. I def leave a bigger tip for them if there is a mess tho!

judgejudithjudy Tue 08-Oct-13 13:53:37

rooni - what on earth do you do at home? do you have a 24/7 cleaner or live in a shithole?

MummytoMog Tue 08-Oct-13 14:11:33

I wondered if this was about my DH - he took 2 year old DS out to a Wetherspoons yesterday, predictably DS made a mess under the high chair and someone came over to clean it up. DH said 'oh I'll do that', was brought a dustpan and brush and then didn't do it blush and then was surprised when five minutes later someone came back and pointed out that he really had to clean it up. Like now.

He thought I was going to be sympathetic. I wasn't.

MrsKoala Tue 08-Oct-13 14:22:36

I always clean up - DH not so much. But we do always leave a 20% tip. I have asked for a dust pan and brush and been told no way by staff. But at least i offered.

As for the plate stacking. I do this because the empty plates get in my way and my baby grabs everything. DH and i stack them and put them to the side and then can get on with our conversation.

PollyIndia Tue 08-Oct-13 14:44:29

I always clear up as much as I can and ask for a dustpan and brush, though often they say not to worry. I can't believe people wouldn't. It's just good manners surely?

Herisson Tue 08-Oct-13 14:50:15

Someone came round for lunch at my house and her BLW baby left at least an adult plate's worth of half-masticated food on the floor. It was disgusting. I also did BLW but I always always made my best effort to at the very least clean up the bits I could see (in a restaurant). And in someone else's house, I'd have asked for a floor cloth or something to give it a proper wash.

SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten Tue 08-Oct-13 14:59:27

Ive been a waitress for years. IMO, if you let your child chuck their food everywhere, the staff will say don't bother clearing up. Mainly because they want to get your table filled again as soon as possible and they really don't need you getting in their way on their hands and knees when its busy. They will also judge you like hell!
If you are going out to eat and are weaning your child, then just for once, feed them puree, or whatever they eat, from a spoon. It wont kill them just once, and seriously, nobody wants to sit eating and have to look at your DCs half masticated food laying all over the floor and table.

lainiekazan Tue 08-Oct-13 15:04:47

This blw business... bit profligate, 1st world idea, no?

Or can you imagine blw during the war?

Actually, even though we're 70 years past the war and not in a famine-affected country, it still seems so wasteful . I hate seeing children playing with food and smearing things around just for the hell of it.

SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten Tue 08-Oct-13 15:06:13

The plate stacking thing is because there is an art to clearing a table. If you get them stacked properly, you can get at least a dozen plates stacked in two piles on one arm, being handed a pre piled stack makes life harder. And it doesn't help when people stack them with food and cutlery layered in between either. Its much easier to just leave them for the waitress.

MrsKoala Tue 08-Oct-13 15:07:21

I've never done BLW by the way, but DS has torn up rolls/biscuits/chips and scattered the debris on the floor.

Eating out is eating in public and while nobody wants to sit eating and have to look at your DCs half masticated food laying all over the floor and table. as Saggy put it. There are lots of things i don't want to see either, but i accept that going out in public, i may see someone do something i find less than lovely. And if i offer to clean up, leave a good tip and apologise, i don't see how the condemnation of the waiting staff is fair in any way, so therefore don't care if they do judge us.

MrsKoala Tue 08-Oct-13 15:13:02

But Saggy it's inconvenient for us to leave the plates for the waitstaff if they take longer than a couple of mins i stack them. I do not want to sit with dirty plates in front of me when i want to relax and lean forward to chat or have my baby on my lap. Surely that's what you are paying for when you eat out - a nice time?

Wuxiapian Tue 08-Oct-13 15:16:23

I always clean up after DS. It wouldn't even cross my mind not to!

SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten Tue 08-Oct-13 15:17:05

Its not about being acceptable and leaving a good tip. That is just throwing money at the problem. Just because you might see 'unacceptable' stuff in public doesn't mean you should perpetuate it surely?
Making a deliberate mess, playing lady bountiful and saying 'oh dear, so sorry, what a little tinker he is' is not acceptable. Its entitled and selfish.
If clearing that table takes staff so long that they lose custom, or cant refill it, then the restaurant has lost an entire table of revenue. a £2 tip wont fix that, will it?

IsabelleRinging Tue 08-Oct-13 15:24:28

This is horrible, so many times I have sat down in a busy cafe, and there is food EVERYWHERE!!! Staff clearly don't have time to clean up between customers in some places as it is very busy. A quick sweep and wipe of the table is as much as is possible really and should be all that is needed.

I would just be soooo embarrassed to leave a mess like that.

Akray Tue 08-Oct-13 15:26:37

Totally agree with beastofburden - do what you like in your own home but spoon feed / give less messy food when out and about. My 5th DC is weaning just now but I spoon her as I did my others - the mess must be horrific letting them do it themselves - I am an OCD clean freak thoughgrin. Flame me now - my DC must have missed out on so much!!


LostMyImagination Tue 08-Oct-13 15:35:36

I think it's got fuck all to do with BLW to be honest. If your baby/toddler makes a mess, pick up all the big bits as much as you can. Make an effort. End of story.

BLW is where you never actually put food in the childs mouth. You let them do it all. No spoon feeding. They control every morsel that goes in their mouth from day 1 of weaning.

SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten Tue 08-Oct-13 15:36:59

Might as well put the baby in the highchair and fire the food at it with a catapult!

MrsKoala Tue 08-Oct-13 15:39:21

But Saggy if you have offered to clean up then what more can you do? apart from give a good tip because they wouldn't let you? Should we not take our children out in case they make a mess but we are prevented from cleaning it up and then make the waitstaff angry?

Where i live there is a cafe that has banned some parents with babies and posted photos it took of under their tables on it's website. Fair enough i thought, it's probably totally disgusting wet, food, a nappy etc. But when i looked it was honestly just a few bread crumbs. I have seen more when adults eat sometimes.

There needs to be some kind of middle ground, you can't expect customers to not make a mess, but it should be within reason. A small amount of dry stuff which can be sweeped etc. Maybe the restaurants should accept that a certain amount of time spent cleaning up is part of the job and that the tables cannot be filled constantly. Profits should be able to absorb this. And here most tips are about $15-20 if you eat out. So perhaps that's why they don't mind so much.

AndIFeedEmGunpowder Tue 08-Oct-13 15:52:28

I agree with MrsKoala.

Also don't think it follows that BLW is necessarily wasteful. Babies being BLWed are often eating food off their parents' plates so surely it is inherently less wasteful than having their own puréed lunch if anything? (Not that there is anything wrong with purée)

SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten Tue 08-Oct-13 15:56:20

Waiting staff don't mind a 'bit of mess'. A few crumbs, some debris on the floor. An entire plate of food chewed, smushed and thrown on the floor, smeared on the table, and crushed into the Lloyd Loom dining chairs is just disgusting. By all means take your child out in public. By all means feed them, but actually feeding them, rather than just letting them trash the food around the place. I've raised 2 DCs, feeding them yourself for once won't kill them.
There is a middle ground. Everyone knows that kids aren't perfect, restaurants that are child friendly understand that, but the mess you 'allow' your child make reflects on you, not them.

As for tables not being filled constantly, that is what a restaurant does. Its a business, there to make money. Having to close half the floor because the local mother and toddler group left it looking like the Somme and it took half an hour to clean up, costs money and effects other diners. Apart from having to look at the BLW detritus, the staff who are cleaning are neglecting their other customers.
you may have enjoyed your meal, but should your behaviour affect other diners experience? Or is it ok if you leave a big tip?

When I did the other side for a job, it never bothered me if people didn't clean up, i'd have to do it either way, the floor still needed sweeping and the table/highchair cleaning, even if someone had washed it down with wet wipes. By all means pick up the big bits, but unnecessary effort is exactly that - unnecessary.

Anyway, BLW surely makes less mess, big bits are easier to clean up than puree spread around the place? That is exactly why my DCs only ever fed themselves at home! grin

Yes, I always check under a table that we vacate to make sure it's no messier than if we hadn't taken the DC.

We went to a posh dinner a few months ago. MIL's SIL (keeping up?) stacked our plates at the table despite being repeatedly asked not to by her DH and the staff. Scraping a plate on to another while other people at the table are still eating is poor manners and risks putting other people off their food.

Stacking one empty plate under another so your toddler doesn't start fingerpainting with leftover gravy is just commonsense if there isn't space on the table to leave them separately.

Don't squash paper napkins into leftovers on a plate though - bleuch.

Davsmum Tue 08-Oct-13 16:03:37

Your baby - your mess to clear up, surely?!

katese11 Tue 08-Oct-13 16:06:07

Saggy, where do you work? I don't like going to places where we get judged hmm

Agree that puree is harder to clean than big bits of food (having been there with hummus) - and if you think that a BLW'ed baby will accept being spoon fed "just this once" then you obviously don't know many BLW'ed babies....

SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten Tue 08-Oct-13 16:09:15

No. You are right. I haven't had 2 children. I know nothing about weaning! hmm

Heath27 Tue 08-Oct-13 16:12:25

I'm a waitress and weaning or not, child or adult, if you drop something on floor you pick it up or at least attempt to, surely thats just good manners! As for stacking plates, go ahead and do it, in our restaurant we're not precious about our stacking lol, how ridiculous and pretentious

LostMyImagination Tue 08-Oct-13 16:12:38

My BLW baby will not be spoon fed. I clean up after her and she makes less mess than a lot of adults, and a lot less mess than most 3 year olds.

HardFacedCareeristBitchNigel Tue 08-Oct-13 16:13:05

Stacking s fine when people do it properly. I'm silver service/michelin level trained, I hate it when people stack crockery as they certainly won't do it in my crazy anal preferred fashion.
Otoh I went out for lunch with dd today and the table was never cleared. I ended up stacking them up as I get fed up of sitting behind them. They were beautifully done though lol.

HardFacedCareeristBitchNigel Tue 08-Oct-13 16:16:28

Heath27, stacking plates properly is not ridiculous and pretentious. It is an effective time-saving method that looks professional which has been practised for decades for a reason. I can clear a table of 12 main course plates when stacked properly. I suspect that you can't if you do not.

katese11 Tue 08-Oct-13 16:16:47

You might have had two children (as have I) but did you BLW them? If you did, then you'd know they aren't keen on sucking down puree from a spoon if they aren't used to it! Other parents on this thread are saying the same thing...

I just give them dryish finger food when we're out (bread etc) - why would I bother with flingable purees that'll get rejected?!

katese11 Tue 08-Oct-13 16:20:08

Just checked back - I didn't say you knew nothing about weaning. I said you obv didn't know many BLW'ed babies if you think they will accept being fed "just this once". Trad weaning and BLW are just two different processes, and a BLW'ed baby finds it hard to deal with purees cause they are used to chewing first, swallowing second. TW'ed babies are the other way round.

Both leave mess! Cause they're babies!

MrsKoala Tue 08-Oct-13 16:32:10

*As for tables not being filled constantly, that is what a restaurant does. Its a business, there to make money. Having to close half the floor because the local mother and toddler group left it looking like the Somme and it took half an hour to clean up, costs money and effects other diners. Apart from having to look at the BLW detritus, the staff who are cleaning are neglecting their other customers.
you may have enjoyed your meal, but should your behaviour affect other diners experience? Or is it ok if you leave a big tip?*

Yes it's a business, but part of that business is cleaning. Your profit should be able to absorb the time it takes to clean. You have earned money from the customer and part of that money should be able to cover that. If you need a constantly full restaurant then your business isn't working. The tip is for the waitstaff who may have had to do a bit more than the usual 10% worth - especially if they wont allow you to clean up yourself. If the restaurant doesn't want custom of this demographic then there are plenty of others who will. I am not talking about trashing the place and as i said i don't do BLW (ds gets a jar if we go out shock ). But sometimes ds will be messy with a bread roll and i don't think it is unreasonable to expect - if you pay extra for the cleaning - this to be okay and not to be 'judged'. As for other diners, it depends on the behaviour of the child in each case. But i have had my meal ruined by a lot of adult diners and that, sadly, is part of life. Some people are twats and sometimes those twats become parents.

Pinebarrens Tue 08-Oct-13 16:37:00

I always pick up after the kids. very inconsiderate to expect someone else to do it. They're my kids and it's their mess!

when Ds was about 8mo and blw we were at the local sea life centre and had lunch there. I asked them for a brush to clean up as he'd made a real mess. The staff were utterly astounded that I had offered to clean up. I was utterly astounded that it wasn't the norm.

Scrounger Tue 08-Oct-13 16:41:22

Saggy, god no Lloyd Loom chairs must be a nightmare to clean. There is a big difference between having half a floor that needs cleaning and one table. The turnover on the one table shouldn't be affected that much but I can see how having a large number of tables out of action would be. That is really unfair of them.

MrsKoala Tue 08-Oct-13 16:48:46

Digressing slightly (but now i'm thinking about unreasonable restaurant/cafe behaviour baby groups). What never ceases to amaze me is the amount of baby groups i have seen who will start rearranging all the tables and furniture then sit down and hardly buy anything. I have seen groups of 8 people buy 3 coffees, produce own cakes and snacks etc and take ages. WTF is that all about?!

And what's a lloyd loom chair?

Scrounger Tue 08-Oct-13 16:52:50

Its a wicker one, great for trapping food in, I never let my DC sit on the ones at home to eat.

MrsKoala Tue 08-Oct-13 16:55:17

holy crap - no whicker around children - ds chews bits off his whicker laundry basket confused

Why would a restaurant have those? surely they a hot bed of germs in general?

2tiredtocare Tue 08-Oct-13 18:38:09


jeansthatfit Tue 08-Oct-13 19:12:59

I clear up after my dcs. Swipe mess off table, pick up big bits, ask staff for a dustpan and brush to give floor a quick sweep.

Yes, they are grateful, it does save them a bit of time by giving them less to do - sometimes you get to hear what they think of the parents who don't clear up....

It just looks entitled if you make no effort. And it sets a crap example to slightly older children who can be encouraged to tidy up a bit. I don't think it has anything to do with BLW, just how you behave in a shared social space.

2tiredtocare Tue 08-Oct-13 19:58:01

But according to Saggy its entitled for your baby to make a mess in the first place and you shouldnt waste their time getting in the way trying to pick things up, bollocks it takes a minute tops

SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten Tue 08-Oct-13 20:35:22

Actually, I said it was entitled to think you can go into a restaurant, make a pig awful mess and think you can say sorry and leave a couple of quid tip and thats all right!

2tiredtocare Tue 08-Oct-13 20:39:29

You said 'if you let your child chuck food everywhere' you and the other staff would tell you not to clean up but be judging you. Babies and toddlers drop things, and shock horror ive seen adults do it too

2tiredtocare Tue 08-Oct-13 20:41:27

And plus if i've been out for a meal I always leave a ten percent tip because thats what I do nothing to do with being ashamed of my pig like baby

BrokenSunglasses Tue 08-Oct-13 20:47:40

People generally only feel the need to stack plates when their waiter or waitress is taking too long to clear the table.

I only ever do it when I've waited an acceptable amount of time after the last person has finished eating, so if I've ever annoyed anyone by doing it, it's only because the staff have annoyed me by taking so long.

I realise that's not always the fault of the waiting staff, but a paying customer has more right not to be annoyed than the people paid to be there have.

SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten Tue 08-Oct-13 20:58:04

im not talking a bit of stuff dropped. Yes we all drop stuff and babies are babies. Im talking a whole meal on the floor, pasta sauce all over the table and chair, and handprints up the nearest wall. im sure your baby isnt a pig. But sadly some parents are. I've been a waitress for years and Ive seen it all.
There are parents out there who are entitled. They think their precious little darling can do no wrong. They think as they are paying they can do whatever they want. Their kids cause chaos while they sit and chat, completely ignoring them.
I dont think it is unreasonable to make sure your child doesn't make an awful mess in the first place, attempting to clean up after is nice but it doesnt help. If a staff member were to slip on said food, youd be the first to complain about a face full of hot soup. If you are on all fours clearing up and are in the way, then you are disrupting other diners meals.

AllDirections Tue 08-Oct-13 21:01:26

Someone came round for lunch at my house and her BLW baby left at least an adult plate's worth of half-masticated food on the floor.

That is just disgusting! shock

When my DC were babies/toddlers I always ensured that I gave them 'clean' food when we were out, so plain pasta with salad rather then spaghetti bolognaise, ham sandwiches rather than jam sandwiches, etc. and only small amounts at a time so it was easier to control the mess. And I ALWAYS cleaned up after them.

sparklekitty Tue 08-Oct-13 21:04:44

I agree, we're doing blw but make sure we clean up as much as possible (sometimes there are a few crumbs I can't get with wipes).

I have been know to ask for a dustpan and brush, I was met with an odd fave though.

2tiredtocare Tue 08-Oct-13 21:06:11

Well those parents do sound like shits but I take my 3 children out for meals to get them used to behaving in public and spend all my time and attention on making sure they are quietly entertained so as not to ruin anyone else's experience that I may not notice if they baby drops something but will always check afterwards, a quick bend down not a full on obstructive lie down, the restaurant you work in sounds like it doesn't have much space?

SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten Tue 08-Oct-13 21:15:25

Then you arent my problem. The average mother and baby isnt my problem. The ones who do 'BLW' and just dont seem to care are the problem.
My restaurant wasnt particularly jammed in, but it was very busy. They actively encouraged children and have a very good reputation. But sadly some people give parents a bad name!
Yes, you might be paying, yes babies do baby stuff, but that doesnt entitle you to leave the place looking like a herd of wildebeest have been through and think that a tip makes it all ok.

2tiredtocare Tue 08-Oct-13 21:47:22

Fair enough

LimitedEditionLady Fri 11-Oct-13 00:27:57

I dont know if i follow correct etiquette for BLW ( which i was thinking so whats blew at for a while back there thinking oooh im behind the times)i just put the big bits on a plate and wipe around with a wipe.The floor is always crumby but i kinda dont have a mini dustpan so dont think theres much i can do....

OrchidLass Fri 11-Oct-13 03:20:56

Isn't baby led weaning just finger foods? Bit of a wanky term for it but yes, people should at least make a bit of an effort its just good manners.

WalkingDeadFan Sat 12-Oct-13 14:28:31


Baby led weaning is where baby is in control of everything that goes in it's mouth from day one of weaning. They feed themselves everything.

As in 'Baby Leads the weaning process' -not the parent. the parent never puts anything in the baby's mouth. Ever.

poppingin1 Sat 12-Oct-13 14:52:42

I always have, especially as it could cause an accident if someone slipped on the food.

WutheringTights Sat 12-Oct-13 23:02:28

So which cafes hate the most? Blw-ers who mostly clean up their (moderate) mess but pay for a full meal for each adult and leave a good tip? Or people who nurse one coffee for two hours whilst taking advantage of the free Wi-Fi?

nappyaddict Mon 14-Oct-13 14:21:46

I don't mind people stacking plates but sometimes they do it in a really illogical way. Think knife and fork precariously balanced on top of a bowl which is stacked on top of a plate. I then have to remove cutlery and bowl, so I can stack more plates on top of the first plate. What's really annoying is when I go over to a table and start stacking the plates, I am removing the little sauce pots that go out with the meal because you can't stack the plates with them still on and then people on the table start trying to help and put more sauce pots on the plates or you pick the stack up and then they plop some cutlery on top of bowl that will fall off as soon as you start walking.

I don't expect people to pick up every bit of food their DC has dropped but I think they should pick the big things up with a napkin and put them on one of the dirty plates (a whole corn on the cob, a whole chicken leg, a piece of garlic bread, a bread roll, a burger etc)

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