Am I miscarrying?

(151 Posts)
Beavie Sat 28-Sep-13 21:11:05

Sorry to hijack Aibu, I know I'm not bu for once but really need some words of advice!

I'm currently sitting in a&e, where I've been for over 2 hours now, as I am 6 weeks pg and been bleeding intermittently for over 24 hours now. It's bright red blood mixed with mucus (sorry if tmi). It comes in waves and stops and starts and the waves seem to be getting heavier. I've also had a dull pain in my abdomen most of the day, although this has been intermittent too.

Dp is insisting we stay here until we are seen even though it's a bit of a waste of time as far as I'm concerned as we've been told we will not be able to get a scan tonight so I'm not sure what they can actually do. Add to the mix a cranky toddler who should be in bed and I'm feeling pretty fed up. I just want to go home and get in the bath which helps with the aching. Anyone got any words of advice?

numbum Sat 28-Sep-13 21:16:18

They'll tell you to go home, rest and return Monday when they can do a scan so sitting in A&E is a bit pointless.

Sorry to hear you're bleeding x

Beavie Sat 28-Sep-13 21:19:14

Hmm yes that's what I thought. Wish I'd driven because we'd be home by now if I had. Going to have to call it a night soon, dd can't take much more.

Yonididnaedaethat Sat 28-Sep-13 21:19:22

Sorry that you are bleeding but I agree with the above poster, go home and rest.

Do you have a Early pregnancy unit in your area you could phone?

Madmartigan Sat 28-Sep-13 21:19:33

Sweetie, big hugs. Wish I could tell you there was nothing to worry about. No medical advice, just the hugs and bumping you up.

WineIsMyMainVice Sat 28-Sep-13 21:19:46

Just try and hang on in there hon. I had some very weird bleeds all the way through my first 3 months, and was terrified every time it happened. But nothing was wrong. I hope this is the same for you.
The only advice I got was to rest as much as possible though. So if they tell you that you can't be seen soon, might it be worth going home and getting some sleep or at least some rest.? Good luck.

DontPanicMrMannering Sat 28-Sep-13 21:19:57

I would go home but keep an eye on the bleeding I haemorrhaged during a mmc (further along though 14 weeks).

There is nothing they can tell you until epau can do an early scan probably Monday.

So sorry that you might be miscarrying. I understand your DH probably feels helpless and worried about you. Xx

I would second going home and putting your feet up till Monday. I hope you are holding up and that this is implantation. I bled throughout, and quite heavily. My DS is now 20 months.

PedlarsSpanner Sat 28-Sep-13 21:20:29

I am sorry

I don't know what the hosp can do. In the old days, we went to bed with bleeding in early pg, and let nature work it out.

Go home, have a bath, bless you. Not easy.

Purplefrogshoe Sat 28-Sep-13 21:23:27

I would go home and rest and call epu Monday, they should hopefully be able to give you a scan, try and keep positive, fx

Donkeyok Sat 28-Sep-13 21:24:07

sad good advice to go home. sorry x

Jolleigh Sat 28-Sep-13 21:27:06

I had had a similar issue at about 9 weeks OP and wasn't miscarrying.

As for the A&E's an odd one. My first call was to the midwife unit. They said I'm best off at home because A&E were unlikely to give me a scan and even if it turned out I was miscarrying, there wasn't really much they could do to stop it.

I heeded their advice and went home from work, only to find a sticker on the front of my notes saying if I'm bleeding before 12 weeks I should go to A&E.

I'd recommended going home OP. I completely empathise with the situation but you're making it no better sitting in A&E if they've admitted they won't be scanning you.

Best of luck. xx

pantsjustpants Sat 28-Sep-13 21:27:53

I'd advise going home too. They won't scan you tonight, you need the epu to see you sad .

Rest up and take some paracetamol if necessary. Unfortunately the only way you'll know for sure what's going on is with a scan.

The waiting is totally crap, I'm sorry.

I also had lots of bleeds in some of my pregnancies (one of my most worrying bleeds is now 9 years old)

I would go home, as long as you are coping with the pain and have support.

LRDMaguliYaPomochTebeSRaboti Sat 28-Sep-13 21:28:45

Oh, love. That's awful to hear. But I agree - go home, and keep an eye in case the bleeding doesn't stop or you feel faint.

It's a horrible experience but there is no obvious reason for you to feel worse by sitting in an uncomfortable hospital.

Lots of good wishes for you.

Finola1step Sat 28-Sep-13 21:29:39

I too think you should go home. Rest up. Spend tomorrow with your DH and dc. Then EPU on Monday. I will be thinking about you over the weekend. I know it's not
very mumsnetty but, I send you hugs.

lotsofcheese Sat 28-Sep-13 21:35:12

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I've had 2 mc & it's heartbreaking.

I'm afraid I agree with your DP. Whilst you're unlikely to get a scan at A&E, or HCG level checks (which EPAU can do), ectopic pregnancy can be ruled out & if you're bleeding heavily (more than a pad per hour) you may need admitted.

So sorry for you in this situation & hoping that it isn't bad news for you.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sat 28-Sep-13 21:36:03

Hmm. Id actually say stay at A&E. If only because they will refer you to the EPAU on monday. Many EPAUs wont see you without a referral. You want to be straight there at the earliest opportunity. You don't want to have to see the GP for the referral first, which you might if you go home.
I have everything crossed for you.

Wishfuldrinking Sat 28-Sep-13 21:38:39

I would go home. I had this at 6 weeks pg, very heavy, thought definitely mc and A&E agreed and sent me home, telling me to go to the epu on the Monday. Even took ibuprofen as I was so sure. Nearly fell off the bed when epu found a heartbeat, and DD was fine. It's not uncommon. The hardest part will be the waiting. Try to rest and be as positive as you can. Sending loads of good vibes your way x

Amy106 Sat 28-Sep-13 21:39:17

So sorry to hear this. Maybe home would be better if they can't scan now anyway. Rest as much as you can. Hugs and best wishes.

Featherbag Sat 28-Sep-13 21:43:37

I'm an A&E nurse who's also been in the terrifying position you're in now. I know how you feel - you're frightened, you want answers, you feel you can't bear the uncertainty of not knowing whether or not everything is ok. But A&E can't do anything for you, they can't scan you, they can't stop a MC if one is starting. In my case, I had massive bleeds early in both pregnancies - pregnancy 1 will be 2 next week, pregnancy 2 is now 30+2 and currently booting me in the ribs. I bled so heavily early in this pregnancy I collapsed, and was 110% convinced there would be nothing there when I went to the EPU.

Go home, try to rest and distract yourself from the worry. Contact the EPU on Monday, and get referred by MW or GP if necessary - I hope all is well for you x

I'm very sorry you're going through this sad

Could you ask if they will do a HCG blood test? If I remember correctly, the HCG levels should double every 48 hours so if your GP or EPU could do the same test on Monday then they would be able to advise you what's happening with the pregnancy.

Otherwise, go home, rest, cry if you want to and then go to your GP or EPU on Monday.

Come back and let us know what's happening. There will be people here to hold your hand every step of the way whatever happens [hugs] x

Beavie Sat 28-Sep-13 22:49:22

Thanks for all the replies. Just as I was about to bail out I got called through. Been prodded and had an internal and bloods taken, and so far so good according to the doc. They need to establish how far gone I am before they do a scan next week, which is why they took blood. The internal was painful and I am bleeding quite heavily now. Just had a weep and now waiting to hear whether they are going to let me go home or if they want to keep me in x

Take care x

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sat 28-Sep-13 22:59:10

I don't want to give you false hope, the same happened to me with DD. I had the internal scan and everything was fine.

I had to wait for days for the scan and it was the longest 4 days of my life. I had the scan that showed a small sac that hadn't closed.

sending you all the luck in the world xxxxxxxx what ever the outcome please feel free to come back. AIBU is a fantastic place for help and support

AIBU is a fantastic place for help and support

hmm grin

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sat 28-Sep-13 23:10:25

not going to derail the thread, but i have seen loads of helpful threads on MN AIBU

spiderlight Sat 28-Sep-13 23:32:55

Just offering a hand to hold until you know more. Hopefully having been through the A&E system will speed things along for you on Monday.

ThisCollie Sun 29-Sep-13 00:16:21

Everything is crossed for you. The lovely MN ladies on the miscarriage forum were a saviour for me, just in case it is the worst news. Have my first thanks

CocacolaMum Sun 29-Sep-13 00:19:23

don't have much to add but didn't like to read and run so sending you my best wishes for a happy outcome x

2beornot Sun 29-Sep-13 00:37:02

Back in June I had bleeding like you. I spoke to friends (RL and mn) who all said that they had it and it was fine. Unfortunately mine was a mmc (and trust me, a hcg test won't help you as I POAS at 12wks and got a BFP even though baby has died at 8) but it seems that bleeding happens a lot in successful pregnancies. Good luck x

Maggietess Sun 29-Sep-13 01:42:35

I'm so glad the initial checks looked ok.

I know it is entirely different in never scenario but as some others have said, bleeding is not necessarily a mc.

With dd1 I was bleeding so heavily in was being treated for heavy irregular periods. Doc didn't believe I could be pregnant but when (at, as it turns out, 11 weeks) I decided there was something fishy and did a test, I was pregnant. I was warned to come in to epau and not to expect it to go well as in was obviously mc.... I wasn't.

I continued to bleed heavily on and off throughout that pregnancy and the general consensus was it just happens some people. Didn't stop the sheer panic, rush to maternity, scans, monitoring etc each time!!!

Dd2 same thing.... Scans all the time to check. She was fine.
Ds same thing... Except he was placental abruptly at 36 weeks so emergency cs... They like to keep you on your toes these babies. Always will surprise you.

Anyway what I'm trying (badly) to say is the are all so different it is impossible for any of us here to now what's going on. Glad the initial tests went well and hope you get some rest soon xx

Maggietess Sun 29-Sep-13 01:44:22

Good god I hate autocorrect .. And I'm a pedant in rl so the multiple mistakes in my posts kill me... I blame Google!!! Sorry!!

lotsofcheese Sun 29-Sep-13 07:08:37

How are you this morning, OP? Hope you managed to get some rest. Take care.

Featherbag Sun 29-Sep-13 08:08:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Featherbag Sun 29-Sep-13 08:09:17

Very sorry, wrong thread!

Beavie Sun 29-Sep-13 08:57:06

Morning! Just woken up and I don't seem to have been bleeding overnight, and I'm not in pain so that's good smile

Amy106 Sun 29-Sep-13 09:02:27

Very glad to hear that. Please take it easy and try to rest.

lotsofcheese Sun 29-Sep-13 09:03:21

That's good the bleeding has stopped. Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

Balaboosta Sun 29-Sep-13 09:04:46


Beavie Sun 29-Sep-13 11:05:25

Spoke too soon...the bleeding is back big style and so is the cramping. No appointments available in the epu until Tuesday so will have to wait until then for a scan sad

Purplefrogshoe Sun 29-Sep-13 11:33:01

Im so sorry, try and rest as much as possible, i can't believe they are making you wait until tuesday, it still may not be mc, fx xx

Maggietess Sun 29-Sep-13 11:52:49

I'm so sorry op that's an awful length of time to make you wait. Is there another hospital you could try, even just turning up at their maternity unit and say you don't know your dates, might encourage them to scan you?

Beavie Sun 29-Sep-13 12:51:54

Have thought about that but now they've already taken my blood etc I think maybe I'm better off going back to the same place. They want to take more blood on Tuesday which will tell them what's going on with my hcg levels.

Maggietess Sun 29-Sep-13 12:55:16

Hang in there! X

pourmeanother Mon 30-Sep-13 13:00:37

Beavie - I had this a number of months ago at 6 weeks and was lucky enough to get to EPAU straightaway as it was a week day. I turned out to have had a chemical pregnancy - ie the egg fertilised but had not implanted for whatever reason and so effectively had a period a week or 2 late.

When they scanned me they were clearly able to see that no sac had formed and there was no evidence of a pregnancy getting underway at all.

I hope this isn't happening to you. Thought I'd just share my experience.

Guess the reason I'm posting is just about pregnancy tests. When I tested at about 5 weeks I only had a faint positive result. In other pregnancies I have had much stronger positive results.

They did a pregnancy test at the EPAU and at this time - 6 wks - there was no positive result at all. If you're sitting around doing nothing and wanting to know answers then you could go and take a test and see if it's looking faint or not.

I know that's probably what I'd do in the same position again.

Btw, the very following month I fell pregnant again and am now 19 weeks with no bleeds at all. It's a very sad time if you miscarry but you will get through it.

Sending you love.

Beavie Mon 30-Sep-13 13:49:41

Thanks pourmeanother. It's interesting you say that because the first test I did was a very faint positive at around 4 weeks, but then I did a digital one the next day and it said positive and 2-3 weeks since conception.

I am going crazy waiting. Can't go in until 11.50 tomorrow and I am just sat here in my own little world ignoring my poor dd. still bleeding, as I have been all weekend and having cramps so it's not looking good. I tried to get an appointment at another hospital this morning but by the time they had tried to get my hcg results from the other hospital the slot had gone. The nurse I spoke to was quite blunt and said if I had been bleeding and cramping for 4 days then the chances weren't good.

Hopefully this time tomorrow I will know one way or another. I feel awful because the night the bleeding started I had a bit of a melt down at dp about how I really didn't want another baby as I really want to go to uni next year. This was an unplanned pregnancy but the timing wasn't great, but now I feel really bad. I just want to know one way or the other.

pigletmania Mon 30-Sep-13 14:07:45

Sweetie big hugs sad, I've been there, I now have a gorgeous ds. With ds I started to bleed at 9 weeks, bright red and a gush, I called the MW, who referred me to EPAU. I was scanned and they found a heartbeat. Te bleeding stopped. I hav. Dd but she was Bentham I had two losses after her than ds. Giving you cake and brew

pigletmania Mon 30-Sep-13 14:08:27

Born after

fluffyraggies Mon 30-Sep-13 14:23:51

Didn't want to read and run thanks

I had a massive bleed (blood down legs and over kitchen floor) at 15 weeks. Just like you i sat in A&E for 2 hours to be seen. They told me gently there was nothing they could actually DO to stop a mc.

The most upsetting bit was the lovely lovely nurse at triage saying 'look, no matter what happens it wasn't your fault'. I howled at that sad

Good news is baby was fine. No one could tell me what caused the bleed. Now 24 weeks and hanging in there. I so so hope for great news at your scan tomorrow sweetheart. It can happen.

frumpypigskin Mon 30-Sep-13 14:30:36

I had similar. I was staying with relatives and for several reasons didn't want to let them know what was happening so I phoned the out of hours doctor.

He very kindly told me to try to rest (not easy when you have another child) and to go to the drs when I could. He said nothing I did could prevent a miscarriage and what will be will be.

I know it sounds harsh but I actually found it quite comforting that it was something that I had no control over, I didn't cause the bleeding and if it was a miscarriage I couldn't prevent it.

I don't want to get your hopes up but my 'baby' is now almost 3.

Good luck OP.

pigletmania Mon 30-Sep-13 15:04:55

I know you want to know either way so you can begin to move forward.i felt in limbo when I was bleeding and having to wait for scans at EPAU. With ds I started bleeding and thought it would be a 3rd loss but I was scanned and they found a heartbeat

pourmeanother Mon 30-Sep-13 16:11:30

Ah, bless you. It's a horrible feeling. None of us can predict the outcome.

Let us know how the scan goes tomorrow. At 6 wks there is a chance they can see things clearly via an abdominal scan rather than an internal one. If that's something that sounds more appealing then just ask them to try it that way first.


lotsofcheese Mon 30-Sep-13 16:44:37

Oh, you poor thing. Our local hospital (a regional centre) also has a "48 hrs bleeding before seen" policy & it feels like an eternity.

I've been there twice & the not knowing is definitely the worst. In some ways, finding out for definite is a relief as at least you can move on one way or another.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow & crossing everything.

pigletmania Mon 30-Sep-13 17:09:24

I had to have the vag cam when I was bleeding at 8 weeks. Get them to try the abdominal first as its less invasive

Beavie Mon 30-Sep-13 17:41:43

Don't worry, I will definitely report back tomorrow. Yes the not knowing is awful, either outcome is ok but I just want to know which way I'm going here. Dp is already heartbroken and I'm more worried about him than me. The bleeding seems to have got heavier this afternoon, which I'm guessing is not good.

pigletmania Mon 30-Sep-13 18:55:31

When you mentioned cramping and still heavy bleedingit does not sound good, in my inexpert opinion. With both losses I had that. Big hugs, good luck tomorrow smile

Good luck tomorrow [hugs]

Catsize Tue 01-Oct-13 04:10:16

Will be thinking of you OP.

Amy106 Tue 01-Oct-13 05:06:37

Thinking of you and hoping for the best. [hugs]

Thinking of you today OP

Purplefrogshoe Tue 01-Oct-13 08:50:26

Good luck OP

Featherbag Tue 01-Oct-13 10:38:32

Thinking of you today, hope all goes well x

Mojavewonderer Tue 01-Oct-13 11:49:18

Good luck op, I hope you are ok.

Beavie Tue 01-Oct-13 13:15:17

Well! Even more confused now. The abdominal scan couldn't pick anything up so they did trans vaginal. They found an embryo and sac and what looked like the flutter of a heartbeat . But the embryo was sitting lower down than it should and was measuring more like 4-5 weeks than 7 weeks, which is confusing because I'm sure of the dates. Did more bloods will get results later.

pourmeanother Tue 01-Oct-13 13:23:32

Oh wow! Well that's great news! Has the bleeding eased now?

pomdereplay Tue 01-Oct-13 13:30:47

That is some hope to hold on to. Hang on in there Beavie. Best of luck.

Christelle2207 Tue 01-Oct-13 13:46:57

Good luck hope you get positive news. These early scans are rarely conclusive x

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Tue 01-Oct-13 14:42:51

A heartbeat is really positive. smile Fingers crossed for you. xx

pigletmania Tue 01-Oct-13 14:51:21

That is fantastic, it is great that there is some hope smile

Beavie Tue 01-Oct-13 15:23:46

Don't seem to be bleeding today, a little bit first thing but not since then.

Beavie Tue 01-Oct-13 19:12:17

Just spoken to the epu nurse, my blood test results are back. My hormone levels have only risen very slightly since Saturday so it seems that I am miscarrying. Feeling gutted. Thanks for all the support on here xx

Beavie Tue 01-Oct-13 20:03:41

Aaargh! Just had another call from the nurse who has spoken to the registrar, who has decided that my results are too inconclusive to know for sure what's happening, so they want to scan me again in 8 days time! I will actually go crazy waiting that long I think. I seem to be getting completely contradictory information, as earlier she explained that if my hcg levels have dropped or risen slightly then I am miscarrying, and that's what is happening, but now she seems to be saying that is not necessarily the case. I am really confused.

I'm so sorry Beavie. I've been where you are and agree that the not-knowing is the worst bit. I'll keep sending hugs and best wishes your way for as long as you need them.

lotsofcheese Tue 01-Oct-13 21:01:42

I'm so sorry to hear that. 8 days must feel like an eternity. Would they agree to repeat another HCG level in a few days? It's so hard being in limbo, especially for so long.

Chusband Tue 01-Oct-13 21:07:05

Good grief, 8 days is an absolute eternity in this situation.

AllBoxedUp Tue 01-Oct-13 21:17:49

I hope this is not too negative a post but I had a mmc earlier in the year. I should have been 8 or 9 weeks and when I had a transvaginal scan all they could see was a sac which was much smaller than it should have been. I think my HGC levels were very low as well.
However, of the fetus is smaller than a certain size, NICE guidelines say that they need to scan again in 7 days time before they can confirm the mc just in case you have your dates wrong. I knew I had my dates right and hated that I had to wait an extra week before they could start the managed miscarriage procedure.
I hope this isn't the case with you but it may be worth phoning them to see what exactly is going on. I was told that they couldn't officially tell me I had mc'ed until the second scan but they certainly inferred this was the case. I hope everything works out for you and that you are ok.

Beavie Tue 01-Oct-13 21:21:53

Thanks allboxedup, yes I get the impression that's what is happening, they are covering themselves just in case I have got my dates muddled, but I am 100% certain I haven't.

I asked if they could do another blood test any sooner than next week and they said they will do one on Thursday afternoon, so I will hopefully know by Friday morning at the latest whether my hcg levels are rising any quicker.

AllBoxedUp Tue 01-Oct-13 21:29:39

It's the worst time - hope you get through this ok.

pourmeanother Tue 01-Oct-13 21:31:20

Oh Beavie, what an ordeal.

Many of us have been through what you are experiencing (sort of) although you're going through a long drawn out process with no answers when you really want them.

If it helps, keep talking to us and we'll keep offering our thoughts and suggestions.

All the best. X

Beavie Tue 01-Oct-13 22:02:39

Thanks, in my heart I already know the answer. Dp is refusing to accept that it's not looking good which is not helping, he is in a right old mess about it sad

ih Beavie I am sorry. My bloods were a nightmare during my 1st mc. Kept limping slightly upwards but nowhere near what they should. Back and fore to the hospital. sad I knew it wasnt good but you cling on to that tiny scrap of hope . sad Huge hugs to you and your dh.

pigletmania Tue 01-Oct-13 22:24:28

Big hugs beave, ow awful, having to wait. Big hugs

pigletmania Tue 01-Oct-13 22:25:46

Have a brew and cake I am really sorry, I know you just want to know either way

Beavie Tue 01-Oct-13 23:05:33

Thanks all. I never imagined a mc to be this drawn out and confusing. It's not like that on the telly and in books is it? At least if I get definite bad news I can cheer myself up with a bottle of wine and crack on with my Ucas application.

lotsofcheese Wed 02-Oct-13 10:14:19

OP, I'm not sure if this is an appropriate thing to say, but there is good support on the miscarriage & pregnancy loss boards, if you want to take a look. Many of the ladies are going through similar situations & can help. I hope I haven't offended or upset you by saying that.

Take care & I hope you have some answers soon.

Featherbag Wed 02-Oct-13 20:20:36

Beavie, I've had 2 'small measuring' EPU scans for different pregnancies which turned out ok. I don't want to give false hope, but even when I was sure of my dates both times I was told I was 1-2 weeks earlier than I thought, only for the measurements to have caught up by 12 weeks, verifying my dates.

AintNobodyGotTimeFurThat Wed 02-Oct-13 20:59:28

I'm so sorry this is happening Beavie.

It's a horrible thing to go through, dragging it out just makes it a whole lot worse.

If you are 100% with your dates though, it doesn't seem it could be anything else.

I am really sorry sad

Beavie Wed 02-Oct-13 21:11:02

Thanks featherbag but when you combine that with the cramping and bleeding it's not looking good. I know that I'm not not pregnant anymore, I had a bit of a bump (I get big ridiculously quickly with my pregnancies) and it's gone. My boobs have gone back to normal. I am 100% sure.

Not feeling too bad today. A bit hormonal but that's probably to be expected.

supergreenuk Wed 02-Oct-13 21:11:12

Sounds like a dreadful situation. Huge hugs x

SomethingOnce Wed 02-Oct-13 21:24:29

Wishing you strength through this awful waiting x

junkfoodaddict Wed 02-Oct-13 21:32:08

Keep us posted. x

MrsBW Wed 02-Oct-13 21:45:18

I have been following your story.

I think you're incredibly brave. That word gets overused, but I genuinely think it applies to you.

Will be thinking of you over the coming days and weeks.

Beavie Wed 02-Oct-13 22:07:09

Thanks for the support everyone, I really appreciate it. I know I will have moments where it's hard to deal with but I am so ridiculously busy at the moment that I'm not going to have a lot of time or opportunity to get down about it. And I have two beautiful girls to be thankful for, so I know I'm a lot luckier than some people.

Another blood test to look forward to tomorrow, I'll keep you all posted x

pigletmania Wed 02-Oct-13 23:03:58

Thinking of you, big hugs wine

Beavie Wed 02-Oct-13 23:43:26

Oh god! Ok I need to just have a quick vent now. As if having a miscarriage wasn't bad enough, over the last three days I have also had to deal with 2 separate letters from tax credits saying they've overpaid me and I have to pay back £800. Then today, I set off with my dd2 to go to an auction (I buy and sell books), and as I was nearly there (it's quite a long drive) dd2 suddenly voms EVERYWHERE in the car. Masses of it all over herself, the seat in front, the seats next to her, the floor, my college books, her car seat. I cleaned her up the best I could and said we should go home but she got upset and wanted to go to the auction, so I hastily went to a charity shop to cobble together an outfit for her as she was totally nekkid. Got to the auction which was a complete waste of time because by now I'd missed the lots I wanted to bid on. Dd has a tantrum that we are not buying any books.

On the way home in torrential rain, the driver's side wind screen wiper stopped working so I had to drive home leaning onto the passenger side.
Spent the afternoon trying to clean the sick out of the car, in the pissing rain.

Walked the dog and you guessed it, got caught in more torrential rain and soaked through to the skin.

Got home and started feeling queasy, went to the toilet and had the most yielding half an hour I have ever spent in a toilet, it appears I have dd's sickness bug and I have been shitting water and vomiting violently. Now in the bath feeling very sorry for myself, listening to dp's FUCKING SNORING.

That's about it. Rant over.

Beavie Wed 02-Oct-13 23:45:11

Oh actually not quite, being sick means I will miss another day of my access course tomorrow, having already missed Tuesday for the scan, which is going to mean I have loads to catch up on sad

DaleyBump Wed 02-Oct-13 23:54:43

Oh Beavie sad be kind to yourself, is your DP able to look after the kids while you rest? flowers for you.

Beavie Wed 02-Oct-13 23:58:19

Nope he's a teacher so he can't take time off easily...and they already gAve him time off the other day to go to the scan. It'll be just me and dd2 in the house of sick.

Beavie Thu 03-Oct-13 00:02:21

Just a technical question, having done my daily hour of searching the internet for mc related stuff. I get the impression from forums that 'the main event' is yet to happen, and i can expect some really heavy bleeding. So far it's just been like a really light period. Is this always the case? Just want to know what I'm in for sad

DaleyBump Thu 03-Oct-13 00:12:18

Sorry to hear that sad I've not experienced it myself but from what I gather it's not always the case but it is most of the time. If you are mcing, they should scan you in a little while to make sure you haven't retained anything (I think). As I say, I haven't experienced it myself so I don't really know. Sorry to put it so crassly sad there's a thread for advice about miscarriage, I'll have a hunt and find it for you. I read it myself when I was bleeding during my pregnancy and it was very helpful to know what to expect.

DaleyBump Thu 03-Oct-13 00:14:06
Beavie Thu 03-Oct-13 00:39:32

Thanks for that, it's really helpful. Yikes though, I thought maybe I had got off lightly but it seems more likely that I'm just gearing up for the main event sad

Thank god for mn in times like this.

JaneFonda Thu 03-Oct-13 00:45:17

Oh Beavie, you poor thing.

You are doing fantastically well to be keeping everything going - don't worry if you fall behind with your college work a bit, I'm sure they will help you to catch up once you're back.

Beavie Thu 03-Oct-13 00:48:20

Thanks Janefonda. Now I'm really scared as well as feeling sick. Having a bit of a weep sad

DaleyBump Thu 03-Oct-13 00:51:02

Maybe you did, but be sure to stock up on co-codamol, nurofen, wine and a good, comfy hot water bottle just in case. Best of luck to you flowers

Shellywelly1973 Thu 03-Oct-13 01:00:51

Just want to send you a hug & best wishes op.

Take care...

Beavie Thu 03-Oct-13 01:31:29

Just thrown up/shat about another 15 times. Kind of hating being me right now.

lotsofcheese Thu 03-Oct-13 07:21:12

You poor thing. Sending hugs & sympathy.

oh bless you. sad
duvet day today. sod everything.

So sorry you're going through this Beavie. It's awful 'waiting to mc' sad

Beavie Thu 03-Oct-13 09:03:24

Don't know what to do, I am in bed and literally can't move because I feel so sick, the kids should be at school/nursery but I can't get up to get them ready. They are currently trying to make themselves toast.

Yes the waiting bit is awful, I can't believe that after 6 days of bleeding and reading loads of stuff about mc that it didn't occur to me that it got worse than it is now until last night. Supposed to be going to a uni open day on Saturday, which I really need to do for my Ucas application, so what's the betting it happens then sad. How will I know when it's starting? Will I get any warning?

Purplefrogshoe Thu 03-Oct-13 10:52:27

Hi Beavie, im sorry you are feeling so awful, my first mc i bled lightly for 3 weeks and then had to have erpc as it just wasnt happening, the advice i have seen is once the pain and bleeding starts to get home quickly, is the uni far from home? Are you due to go bk to the epu? Maybe they can advise, have a look at the mc boards loads of helpful ladies who can offer support amd advice

Beavie Thu 03-Oct-13 11:05:33

What is erpc? Is that the pills? I was supposed to go back to epau today for more bloods but I literally can't get out of bed so that's not happening. Just spoke to them and they still want to see me on Wednesday for another scan. The uni is just over an hour from home.

Purplefrogshoe Thu 03-Oct-13 11:18:10

Sorry erpc is the surgical option, maybe best to wait and see how you feel saturday, hope you feel better soon its awful all the waiting and then to get a sickness bug on top of that

Bearfrills Thu 03-Oct-13 12:52:08

With my first mc I had fairly light bleeding and no cramps, then I got cramps for 30-40 minutes or so and the bleeding suddenly got heavy (day 2-3 of a period heavy), then the sac passed (sorry, graphic) and the bleeding almost instantly got lighter. After that it was like the tail end of a period for around seven days, then trailed off to pinkish light bleeding, then had stopped by 12-14 days.

I really feel for you, this limbo bit is shitty.

Bearfrills Thu 03-Oct-13 12:55:29

ERPC is the surgical procedure, Medical Management is the pills, Expectant Managemet is waiting for it to happen itself. I've had Medical Management (second mc) and Expectant Management (1st mc). I found the Expectant Management easier to cope with despite the waiting but everyone is different.

TarkaTheOtter Thu 03-Oct-13 13:03:25

Beavie I know your dh is a teacher but are you sure he can't come home to help. He should be entitled to family leave for situations like this.

pigletmania Thu 03-Oct-13 13:04:02

Oh beavie I am so sorry, sending you [flwowers] and some ginger brew for your tummy hugs

pigletmania Thu 03-Oct-13 13:04:28

Should be flowers

pigletmania Thu 03-Oct-13 13:05:16

Grr flowers sorry and more hugs

Beavie Thu 03-Oct-13 13:15:26

I guess they'll talk through all that stuff on Wednesday when I have the other scan. I honestly had no idea mc was so complicated!

I expect dp could get more time off but tbh I think we are finding it easier not being around each other at the moment. He's not dealing with it well and has been working late as much as possible to avoid coming home. I expect if I do get a really heavy bleed I will want him around, so we'll see when that occurs.

AnnoyedByAlfieBear Fri 04-Oct-13 16:31:31

thanks and <hugs>
The 'main event' never came for me. I was kept waiting for 6 weeks, with bloods and scans every other week, until they offered intervention. I had an ERPC in the end as I wanted it over with quickly.

Although, I was PG again soon after and although I had heavy bleeding in that pregnancy, I now have a lovely 14mo DS.

I hope Wednesday goes well for you.

Beavie Fri 04-Oct-13 17:11:47

Oh that's kind of reassuring! Nothing seems to be changing really, it's just stopping and starting and generally really light, and it's been a week now. I'm just reluctant to plan anything in case it does happen.

AintNobodyGotTimeFurThat Fri 04-Oct-13 19:26:30

I'm so sorry this is prolonged Beavie. I have been so lucky not to have a miscarriage but my sister has had 2 and it really, really hurt and upset her so I can see what effect it has on someone else and I honestly can't imagine what you are going through.

Take whatever route is best for your emotional and physical wellbeing. That's the most important thing.

Beavie Fri 04-Oct-13 20:13:03

Thanks, it's not something I've ever given too much thought to until now, but it's horrid and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. The nurse talked through the various options on the phone last night and tbh they all sounded a bit crap. I will wait and see what's going on at the scan on weds and if there's anything still there I think I will go for the surgical option as I just want to get it over with.

spongebob13 Fri 04-Oct-13 20:19:34

I feel for you so much.

I remember I was bleeding a week. they were able to tell on a scan I was miscarrying but the "main event" as ye are calling had not happened yet. one morning the cramps got worse and felt a sudden urge to go to the loo and the sac passed. after that things started to die down and wasn't feeling as bad. I know its not possible but if you could stay home until this happens I would advise it. I then needed to be seen again and scanned to see if I needed a D&C which thankfully I didn't. was pregnant a month later and now have a wonderful 4 year old ds.


lotsofcheese Fri 04-Oct-13 20:29:42

I'm sorry you're still in limbo. I'm hoping the d&v bug has passed?

Both my miscarriages were atypical, and I never really bled heavily with either & ended up having surgery both times. I was just glad to get it over with & didn't find the procedure too bad at all.

I hope the next few days provide some answers, one way or another.

Beavie Fri 04-Oct-13 20:57:16

I'm staying as close to home as possible over the next few days but certain things I really do need to try and get to, like the uni open day tomorrow and college on tues and thurs next week.

It's really difficult because the pg wasn't planned and on one hand I was absolutely gutted because I had set my heart on getting to uni next year and then having a career, but on the other hand I was excited about having another baby. But logically, money wise and for lots of reasons it's not a good idea so it would be daft to intentionally set out to get pg again. Dp was so ridiculously excited about me being pg and now I feel bad that I can't say the one thing that he wants to hear, which is 'we can try again'.

Beavie Fri 04-Oct-13 20:59:54

Oh and yes, feeling a lot better today, d&v wise, but dd1 and dp both came down with it in huge early hours of the morning so had another bad night's sleep with them up and down going to the bathroom, and getting up to change sheets. We've all had it now though, so hopefully I won't have to deal with anymore sick for a little while!

elcranko Fri 04-Oct-13 21:09:42

Beavie, I just read the whole thread. I'm really sorry you're going through this. Sending you hugs x

Beavie Fri 04-Oct-13 23:41:05

Thanks elcranko x

ladythatlunches Sat 05-Oct-13 18:01:09

Hi beavie. Im sorry you are going through this.

I just wanted you to no my story.

I was beey much like you, I jad rold myself it was over. Scans didn't pick anything at all. I jad blood tests and scan after scan and nothing!

My bloods were only slightly rising. They were worried about ectopic told me to expect the worst!

Next lot of bloods went up few digits. booked in for another scan and guess what?! There were twins there!!!.

God knows what went on but there here healthy and fine.

Good luck thinking of you.

Beavie Sat 05-Oct-13 19:56:18

Hmm I think I will pass out in shock if they do find a live baby on next week's scan. I passed a small lump of something or another today so it's really not looking too good sad

Poor, poor you. I'm so sorry you're going through this, OP. sad

I wish there was something helpful I could say, but I'm just going to remind you that you've got loads of hands to hold here. If it makes you feel any less scared, when I miscarried there was never any big 'event' iyswim. It was 'just' three-four weeks of bleeding. If you are mcing then it won't necessarily get 'worse' physically. The emotional trauma can obviously last much longer. Again, there are lots of people here who will listen/read/care x

Beavie Sat 05-Oct-13 22:54:01

Thanks. Hopefully it won't get too bad, on the scan the embryo only measured 3mm so there shouldn't be too much there to come out. Still exactly the same, trickling away at the moment.

Made it to the uni open day today and although it's not my first choice of uni because it was a bastard to get to, it did verify that I am definitely following the right path in terms of my choice of course and career. So I am feeling excited and motivated towards reaching my end goal, which has taken my mind off things today.

Another technical question, obviously sex is not top of my list of priorities right now, but when is it safe again? When the bleeding stops and everything has settled down, how long do I need to leave it?

I dont know. My mc was caused by surgery (long story) so I couldn't dtd for a while afterwards anyway. I think there was research recently that suggested ttc as soon as possible was to be recommended, but you'd need to ask doc or hope someone more knowledgeable comes along.

junkfoodaddict Mon 07-Oct-13 20:59:33

Hope you are all feeling better -from the D&V bug that is.. I'm a teacher and it can be practically impossible to get time off from work during intermittent periods of a family crisis so I can sympathise.
Is your scan this Wednesday?

Beavie Mon 07-Oct-13 23:02:24

Hi, yes the scan is this Wednesday. I've come to accept that dp isn't going to be able to come, after unfairly having a bit of a huff at him about it. I guess I just don't really want to be going on my own, but looks like I will be. It feels weird after going to the scans of my girls when I was pg with them, and it being such an exciting event, to going to the same rooms to find out what's going on with my dead baby. And there are other people around me waiting to go in for their 20 week scans etc, it's all done in the same place, so that's not easy.

I'm hoping I will hold it down a bit better than last week, I think I will be ok as now I am convinced there is no hope, last week I still thought there was a good chance. If not I'll have a little cry in the car and then I'll pull myself together and be ok.

Beavie Mon 07-Oct-13 23:03:47

And yes we are all recovered from the d&v now, thanks, though the house looks like a Chinese laundry from all the washing I've had to do!

supergreenuk Wed 09-Oct-13 16:54:21

Did you have a scan? Been thinking about you today.

AintNobodyGotTimeFurThat Wed 09-Oct-13 17:03:06

Been thinking of you Beavie and hope the scan went as well as it could have done.

Big hugs and thanks

lotsofcheese Wed 09-Oct-13 21:26:45

Been thinking of you too today, OP.

Featherbag Wed 09-Oct-13 21:59:11

I've been thinking of you too hope today wasn't too horrible x

Beavie Wed 09-Oct-13 22:04:31

Hi all, I am really touched that people remembered me and thought of me today, thanks. Yes I did go to the scan, and as expected the pregnancy is not viable, the sac has shrunk a bit so it's still there but definitely not embedded as it's moved (upwards, weirdly....must be all those handstands I do). But I was fine, I didn't expect any good news so wasn't disappointed when there wasn't any. Going to wait another 2 weeks to see if nature does it's thing and if not I will have to have some treatment. But the mc has been officially confirmed so I can begin to move on mentally from all of this now.

SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten Wed 09-Oct-13 22:51:32

Big hugs honey. Its a shitty thing, but it does pass. Take care and take it easy. xxx

Valdeeves Wed 09-Oct-13 23:01:46

I just read this - what a huge ordeal.
I have also had a puking child this week, so my sympathy there too xx

Beavie Wed 09-Oct-13 23:23:56

It is shitty but I am looking forward to all the things I can now do with my life that would have been very hard with another little one around. I hope that doesn't make me sound heartless because I'm sure I would have loved the new baby to bits...but the pg was unplanned and at a really inconvenient time so now I feel like I'm back on track to where I was going in the first place.

pigletmania Wed 09-Oct-13 23:56:39

Aww beavie, big hugs at least you know for definite now and can plan ahead

foreverchanging Wed 09-Oct-13 23:57:47

So sorry you've had such an awful time Beavie All the best x

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