To not let my 1 year old breastfeed despite her crying in hunger?

(96 Posts)
HopLittleFroggiesHopHopHop Fri 27-Sep-13 15:31:57

She's not eaten ANY food today, tried to give her porridge, apple puree, strawberries, 'organic' crisps, sweet potato and lasagne so far. She hasn't had a single mouthful, I last let her breastfeed about an hour after she refused breakfast, and she had a big drink then at about 10.
This is a very regular occurrence but she usually breastfeeds on demand a lot.

She's taken a tiny bit of water but is pushing away snacks still, and clawing at my top for milk, pretty upset.

Should I just give in or should I wait out and hope she takes real food when she's hungry enough?

Offcolour Fri 27-Sep-13 15:33:34

Is she ill? I'd let her feed, feeds don't seem to make any difference to my son's appetite and if she's distressed she won't eat anyway.

Sirzy Fri 27-Sep-13 15:34:59

Let her feed.

FrussoHathor Fri 27-Sep-13 15:35:31

Is it just today that she's been refersing?

Could she be coming down with a bug, or teething? They would be typical solid refusing reasons.

I'd give in and breastfeed but then I am a softy

IceBeing Fri 27-Sep-13 15:35:35

maybe she has a sore throat? I would just get some calories in her as a priority. She probably knows better than you what form those calories should optimally take...

IsThatTrue Fri 27-Sep-13 15:35:42

Could she be teething? Ds2 hates solids when he's teething and spends a lot of time feeding instead.

Oh feed her. She won't eat food in that state. Lshe must be feeling a bit off, it won't hurt if she just has milk today

bigandfluffy Fri 27-Sep-13 15:36:42

YABU!

fluffyraggies Fri 27-Sep-13 15:36:43

Are you trying to wean her off BF, OP? Cutting back on breast feeds?

Annunziata Fri 27-Sep-13 15:36:44

YABU, feed her.

SamPull Fri 27-Sep-13 15:37:59

Not sure if there is a reason not to let her, if you are able?

DD feeds a lot more than usual when she is under the weather (or more accurately in the days before I notice any other symptoms of her being unwell)

AutumnMadness Fri 27-Sep-13 15:38:26

I would let her have boob. My son ate nearly no solid food when he was one, especially around me (was much better at nursery). It's still rather young. He was weaned off the boob nicely and with only very feeble resistance at 23 months.

HopLittleFroggiesHopHopHop Fri 27-Sep-13 15:38:53

She's feeding sad she's not ill, she is just awful at eating, she quite often eats nothing, and given the option bfeeds about every hour plus. How long can she carry on like this before its really unhealthy?

JoinTheDots Fri 27-Sep-13 15:39:42

Feed her.

Yabu. Feed your baby!

Have you any idea why she doesn't eat? Is she growing ok? Does she eat too much at night so she's not hungry in the day?

pixiepotter Fri 27-Sep-13 15:41:05

I think with some children ,they just want to live on breastmilk and the only way to stop this is to go cold turkey and stop BF.I had this with my 2ns and 4th child.They were a bit older though.17m and 2.5years old.The 2 yr olsd was quite severely underweight (under the 0.4th centile)

GirlWithTheLionHeart Fri 27-Sep-13 15:42:01

'Food before one is just for fun'

Seeing as she's only one and still a baby, yabu let her feed. She might be teething.

Annunziata Fri 27-Sep-13 15:42:09

Oh OP you must be shattered. I would ask this thread to be moved to the feeding section, the ladies there will know what to do.

HopLittleFroggiesHopHopHop Fri 27-Sep-13 15:44:41

She's gaining on the same percentile, but she is very small for her age, no 'baby fat' rolls at all.
She does feed a fair bit at night, but there's no other way to get her to sleep, if I try to rock her or just cuddle her she will get upset and just end up feeding more.

A friend of mine had this problem. It turned out her dd had a significant lip tie which was operated on by laser at about 16 months since when her eating has improved massively.

I really would check thoroughly for any physical reasons for this food refusal before refusing the only corn of nutrition she wants, which by the way will give her the majority of the nutrients she needs for now.

BlackberrySeason Fri 27-Sep-13 15:47:15

YABU - feed her. Call one of the bf helplines for informed RL support.

IceBeing Fri 27-Sep-13 15:47:48

YA(still)BU.

Your DD had found an excellent source of nutrition (the best going) and is making the most of it.

Why on earth would your response be to withdraw it?

Babies cannot extract the food value from any other food anywhere near as efficiently as they can from BM, so they do tend to turn back to it when they are challenged in some way (teething, tummy upset, virus etc). It is the ultimate comfort food!

NachoAddict Fri 27-Sep-13 15:49:23

I can totally understand your logic but she is clearly not going to snack so glad you let her feed.

maybe try introducing solid food partway through a feed so sone milk and then a bit of toast etc, eat with her and just share some of yours with her. Food is far more interesting when its not yours. Xx

BaldricksTurnip Fri 27-Sep-13 15:49:25

I know it's exhausting when they're like this but you can't force weaning. She will cut back on bf when she's ready. If she's distressed then I would let her have it.

maddening Fri 27-Sep-13 15:50:15

I'd let her feed.

Charleymouse Fri 27-Sep-13 15:51:17

I would deffo feed her breastmilk. I dont think it is unhealthy to do so.

BaldricksTurnip Fri 27-Sep-13 15:52:07

Also just to add at this age babies are still supposed to be drinking roughly a pint of milk a day.

TinyTear Fri 27-Sep-13 15:53:46

Feed her. some days my daughter just isn't hungry and just wants milk. i give it to her... why let a baby go hungry??

oscarwilde Fri 27-Sep-13 15:55:51

Every hour, you must be exhausted and very very frustrated.

Prepared for a flaming on here but I don't think you are being unreasonable to want to stop and you may yet have to force the issue. However, if you make a huge issue of it she will just dig her heels in and ultimately you will cave rather than see her so upset and hungry.

See a doctor and make absolutely sure that there is no medical reason for it. Then get on with the weaning. If you want to continue bfing but in a more moderate way, then I would restrict it to 3-4 times a day.

Wrong forum for this however, I would ask for this to be moved or I would repost and set out what you are actually trying to achieve and get some good advice on how to achieve your aims.

oscarwilde Fri 27-Sep-13 15:58:42

Also if she is unwell you will get this anyway. But your OP states that it is not unusual

guiltyconscience Fri 27-Sep-13 15:58:49

YADNBU it's your body your child you should go with your gut instinct .

NoComet Fri 27-Sep-13 16:01:33

Just let her feed, all the older DCs are passing colds and sore throats round school.

It's very likely she's caught a bit of a virus and milk is all she feels like.

agendabender Fri 27-Sep-13 16:02:30

Feed her. I'm glad you are. Nursing meets not only her nutritional needs, but also her emotional ones. If she's gaining on the same centile then that's how big she is, there's no need to go up the chart (and the charts are flawed in many ways, of course) and someone has to be at the bottom, but the bottom is the bottom of the normal range! If she does find food a challenge she's really lucky to have a mummy who still lets her breastfeed. Hurrah for you!

DoudousDoor Fri 27-Sep-13 16:07:53

This won't be popular but have you tried distraction? For months DS wouldn't eat unless the TV was on. So he watched Postman Pat/Button Moon/Teletubbies (argh!)/Thomas the Tank Engine ad infinitum.

Now aged 2 he will eat happily without TV.

During this time I had friends tearing their hair out cos their DC wouldn't eat. But they refused to try different techniques like the TV.

If that doesn't work then yes, I would continue BFing.

kali110 Fri 27-Sep-13 16:08:22

Ahh op i dont think yabu. Hope it gets better soon x

monkeymamma Fri 27-Sep-13 16:22:02

If she is at home with you and your boobs at the time she'd normally have milk the habit will be hard to break (i had very similar with ds). I found it helpful to go out somewhere exciting, with lots to do and lots of other children, so ds was distracted and often forgot about feeds. Try to avoid showing your anxiety re mealtimes, offer something when you're eating and as she gets older she'll start fancying some of what you're having (especially, I found, with meals outside of the home.) Ds liked fruit pouches, especially plum blueberry and vanilla, probably because they have intense flavours but very smooth texture, so eventually I gave him these (plus whatever he wanted from our plates) rather than faffing about making delicious organic meals for him to refuse :-) probably my approach wasn't ideal - and I wasted a lot of time feeling guilty about it - but I can happily report that age 20 months he now eats everything (with great gusto) and we are often complimented on how well he eats/how adventurous and non-fussy he is with food.

waterrat Fri 27-Sep-13 16:33:36

Wow op some unfair comments here - the vast majority of 1 year olds are not breast fed there is nothing wrong with wanting to stop feeding on demand - she is breast feeding like a newborn !!

Of course she won't eat solids if she is bf every hour !

Please feel free to gradually reduce feeds - perhaps you need to post In a more sympathetic forum asking for advice specifically about cutting down feeds

A one year old really does need more than just milk.

MikeOxard Fri 27-Sep-13 16:49:14

Ds is 14 months and is the same about bf and food. He's chubby though, always has been. Very different to dd who was skinny but ate more at 6 months than ds eats now! I just let him have what he wants, and he is gradually eating more especially now on the days I work.

I think its ok to let them go at their own pace. In rl people always say 'don't give in', I don't know why. Give in! Make life easy for yourselves, and just don't stress about it. If baby starts losing weight or is otherwise unhappy then there is a problem, otherwise I wouldnt worry. X

OHforDUCKScake Fri 27-Sep-13 16:52:01

My 2.4 year old feeds every 30-60 minutes day and night. confused

Its not easy is it?

However, at 1yo you really dont have to worry about it being unhealthy.

My son barely ate a thing at that age, on top his diet was hugely, hugely restricted, he is allergic to 29 different foods.

Breastmilk has soooooo many different vitamins, nutrients and fats and calories.

I too was worried (despite being told it was ok!) and when he had his annual blood test at 18 months old I asked them to check his calcium, vit D, b, iron etc and it was all absolutely fine.

He eats like a bird now, still but hes on 90th centile so we have be doing something right.

appletarts Fri 27-Sep-13 17:00:44

Ummm, she's too hungry to try solids and is distressed because you are pushing her to do something before she is ready because it is convenient for you, not her, feed her for god sake and go and see your health visitor to get some on-going support while you wean your child, it is obviously triggering something for you and is causing a problem for her. Bit sodding irritated to be honest that there's a baby clawing at her mum for food and mum is sat there on the frigging internet! confused

FrigginRexManningDay Fri 27-Sep-13 17:07:56

If you feel you want to wean her off the boob can you try giving her some breast milk in a beaker? I wouldn't worry about actual food or rolls of baby fat,some kids have them some kids don't.

squoosh Fri 27-Sep-13 17:11:45

I agree with waterrat.

gymphobe Fri 27-Sep-13 17:23:20

:-O

feed her.

oscarwilde Fri 27-Sep-13 17:34:02

I agree with Waterrat too.

cakesarenottheanswer Please can you tell me how your friend got the lip tie cut. I am trying to get my 15month olds done and having no luck so far I'm getting desperate.

Dobbiesmum Fri 27-Sep-13 17:39:29

I was going to suggest letting her pinch some of your food but someone beat me to it smile
It works for us for a different reason, it's the perfect way to introduce DD2 to new tastes. There's nothing more interesting to a child than somebody getting something you're not! Try letting her nibble from your plate or doing a one for me one for you type of approach.
And try to internalise your frustration, they pick up on it and play up more I find.

SaucyJack Fri 27-Sep-13 17:43:22

YANBU to want to cut down on breastfeeding at that age. She's 12 months, not twelve days.

A year of frequent, demand feeding is bloody good going. You should be pleased with yourself.

I have no practical advice tho on how to handle the sitch. Both of mine happily weaned themselves.

Locketjuice Fri 27-Sep-13 17:48:17

My sons exactly the same but with formula/cows milk... I let him have it in the morning once breakfast has been refused and then if he won't eat lunch/dinner he doesn't have any until bedtime, doesn't bother him one bit hmm wish he would get hungry just so he would eat!

FlapJackFlossie Fri 27-Sep-13 17:49:03

At last, some sense from waterrat and SaucyJack !! ^^

thebody Fri 27-Sep-13 17:53:20

I think you are a star to have breast fed for a year. good in you. if you want to stop now that's perfectly fine and ONLY your decision. no one else.

your dd is feeding like a new born and so is full up.

bf is lovely, but your needs are just as important as your dds.

I bf all of mine for a year and then stopped. it's hard but the milk dries up after a few days of pure agony and your dd will move on.

this is totally your decision not outs or your dds. just yours.

Dobbiesmum Fri 27-Sep-13 17:55:48

Could you possibly get her to take some expressed milk from a sippy or a doidy cup? If it's the comfort of your boob she's after maybe try to substitute something that smells of you instead, sleep with a blanket or soft toy for a few days and give it to her at feed/nap time.

WoTmania Fri 27-Sep-13 17:56:04

friends recommend this book
FWIW my lot were all still nursing a lot at a year and the younger two didn't really start eating solids properly until they were 13/14 months or so and even then not much. Some babies take longer to cut down on feeds than others.
Other useful books are mothering your nursing toddler and How Weaning Happens
At this stage refusing to let you baby breastfeed is probably counter productive as she may be too upset and distressed to eat.

thebody Fri 27-Sep-13 17:58:34

to add there is no mummy Manuel and if there was it would not feature babies needs far out weigh mothers.

Tailtwister Fri 27-Sep-13 18:01:02

I would feed her. She may well be coming down with something. Food refusal and increased bf frequency was always the first sign of illness with both mine.

thebody Fri 27-Sep-13 18:01:59

oh god not a parenting/ weaning book. op do what's right for you and your family. don't waste your cash on making another 'parenting expert' money.

FlapJackFlossie Fri 27-Sep-13 18:03:04

Oooooooh, I'd just luuuuurve one of these all to myself .........*mummy Manuel*

Mojavewonderer Fri 27-Sep-13 18:06:19

Have you spoken to your health visitor about this? If not then I suggest you do and possibly contact a breast feeding support group and see if they have any suggestions. There maybe a underlying problem so a trip to a trusted GP is most likely a good idea.
I would fed the baby and get over this weekend and get ringing round on Monday. Good luck.

MoominsYonisAreScary Fri 27-Sep-13 18:12:49

Every hour? You must be knackered, well done for demand feeding so frequently for so long.

Also like waterrat says, not surprised she doesnt want to eat solids when she is bf so often.

Id check its not something medical and maybe post somewhere you will get more helpful comments

Gingersnap88 Fri 27-Sep-13 18:13:58

My DD was like this, she is 18 months now and only just starting to get into food. We've been baby led weaning from 6 months. She has always tried to food but just doesn't war very much.

She is big for her age (tall & weight) even though she's mainly breastfed. I just think some children need it for longer. When we are busy in the day, she doesn't want bf. if we are home then she is constantly on my lap!

Don't worry, it's a stage and it will pass. She's far too little to understand why she can't have this great source of comfort from you, so I'd give her the boob.

As a breast feeding peer supporter, I'd recommend that you look closely at your diet- eat lots if varied food and full fat creams / milks / cheeses. She's getting her nutrients etc from you but it's still a lot for your body so top it up! I was so busy trying to lose baby weight that I overlooked this and was constantly tired and grumpy.

Once you are ready to stop, I'd suggest gradually dropping feeds instead of going cold turkey- it's much nicer on her and on you.

Totally understand where you're coming from though, you're doing brilliantly smile

WoTmania Fri 27-Sep-13 18:14:42

hmm thebody - the first one is a book by a Spanish paediatrician. The others are LLL books; one about what's normal behaviour for a nursing toddler than the other about normal weaning (From the breast) and how to wean gently. So no, not 'parenting' books, or weaning in the starting solids/Annabelle karmel sense.

WoTmania Fri 27-Sep-13 18:19:28
thebody Fri 27-Sep-13 18:23:38

FlapJack, love to write a 'mummy Manuel' but it's a contradiction in terms as everyone's would/ should be different as everyone's family unit is different.

I also dislike intensely so called experts ( often men) telling women how to mother.

how about, they all, unless have special needs, eventually sleep, and in their own beds, they all eventually walk, talk and eat more or less most food.

the speed of these magic milestones is usually in the parents gift but they just don't know it.

midori1999 Fri 27-Sep-13 18:27:46

I wonder why people have made the assumption that the OP wants to stop breastfeeding or breastfeeding on demand? I can't see where she's mentioned that, just that she's is worried her DC isn't eating any/enough solids. hmm

OP, I agree you should let her nurse and if you are worried about her low solid intake speak to a professional who knows about child nutrition and about breastfeeding. A IBCLC may be someone who can help with this, or La Leche League may put you in touch with someone? I also agree getting checked for tongue and lip tues, even at this late stage may help.

In the short term I wouldn't worry too much if she seems otherwise fine. It's simply not true that a one year old nursing hourly won't be hungry for or take solids, many one year olds do nurse like this, particularly on and off and from what you say your DD does take some solids some days?

thebody Fri 27-Sep-13 18:31:02

Wo if they are books about children aimed at parents then they are parenting books!

parents have been weaning gently or otherwise for centuries without books.

weaning is simply the reduction of offering milk and the introduction of solid foods. it can be bloody annoying/ frustrating and messy but it is not rocket science and does not generally require the involvement of a paediatrician Spanish or otherwise.

the op wants to stop bf. her baby wants the breast.

sometimes the mothers needs override the babies, the op days the baby is 1 and not ill.

the op should follow her instincts and do what's right for her.

JoinTheDots Fri 27-Sep-13 18:53:30

Nothing at all wrong with wanting to wean, and nothing at all wrong with being concerned about her not eating any solids, but do consider weaning gradually - for your own health - if you go cold turkey, you might well get mastitis and trust me, that's not nice.

Decide on the feeds she will have, and the one you want to cut, and do it. Then, when that one is no longer taken, choose another. Usually best to go for ones where she can be distracted best in case she is not very happy about the change.

I found the last thing at night and first thing in the morning ones were the hardest to get rid of (if you don't count night weaning, which was a whole other battle).

I should mention, I did not fully wean until DD was 2.5 or thereabouts, and at 1 she was certainly eating more milk than solids, but its a relationship you both have to be happy with, and if you are not - then you need to do something about it.

CrowmarshGibbon Fri 27-Sep-13 19:24:25

Starlight - she paid to go private with Dr Levinkind

FrogsGoWhat Fri 27-Sep-13 19:43:12

Re the feeding lots at night, I found with DD that if I upped the daytime feeds, the nighttime feeds dropped.

Also 12.-14 months is a sleep regression and mug growth spurt - most babies I know have upped the feeding around this time, then moved onto solids fine at 14ish months. So if you can wait it put...?

FrogsGoWhat Fri 27-Sep-13 19:46:05

Mug? Big!

YoniBottsBumgina Fri 27-Sep-13 20:01:24

DS relied mainly on breastmilk from the age of 12-22 months. Health visitors were horrified, I tried everything I could to get him to eat. Nothing worked and we're only just breaking the habit, aged 5, of him eating in front of the tv. He has a big taste and expectation of big portions of junk foods like crisps and sweets, because of some stupid theory someone had that if I got him used to the feeling of being full, he would want to eat more. Yeah, I was that desperate.

I look back now and wish I hadn't worried so much about it. In fact he was getting everything he needed from bm and the tiny amount of food he was eating. When weighed, he was on the small side, but always had been. I am small. He's still slim, but very tall for his age and he doesn't look abnormal for a child his age.

As long as you aren't restricting her food, she won't starve herself. Make it available and then try to avoid the guilt/worry/etc - you can't force feed her. She will eat when she is ready.

If you want something good to read on the topic, "My Child Won't Eat" by Carlos Gonzales is very good. It also explains that the appetite of a 1 year old is often smaller than that of a 9 month old, and why this is normal.

My non eating 1 year old now eats me out of house and home. I swear he has hollow legs!

YoniBottsBumgina Fri 27-Sep-13 20:05:55

Huh, wow, just scrolled up to see the bunfight about books. Books (especially parenting books) aren't for everyone but I quite enjoy reading them and like to receive recommendations. If OP doesn't I'm sure she can scroll past and ignore. There's no need to sneer about it!

May09Bump Fri 27-Sep-13 20:10:04

Try these nuby cups for milk - the silicone mouth piece is the only thing my LO would take instead of the breast. I had to wean at 13months - he had multiple allergies and my milk was causing him to be sick.

www.nuby-uk.com/view-product?path=66&product_id=826

It is hard weaning, my son only took overnight - but they do adapt. I do agree with other posters not to start this if ill / teething unless necessary.

Best of luck.

May09Bump Fri 27-Sep-13 20:10:50

Try these nuby cups for milk - the silicone mouth piece is the only thing my LO would take instead of the breast. I had to wean at 13months - he had multiple allergies and my milk was causing him to be sick.

www.nuby-uk.com/view-product?path=66&product_id=826

It is hard weaning, my son only took overnight - but they do adapt. I do agree with other posters not to start this if ill / teething unless necessary.

Best of luck.

TokenGirl1 Fri 27-Sep-13 20:17:51

Have you thought about pureeing some food for her? At this age, my little one would refuse solids and one day I tried pureeing it and she wolfed it down. It didn't stop her going back to solids a few days later. She was just going through a phase.

With the experience I now have, go with the flow at this age, your little one will guide you. I worried myself silly about my first and her eating when she was this age but she's still small but she eats as much as she needs.

junkfoodaddict Fri 27-Sep-13 21:22:30

I'll just give you a hug <<hugs>>

It sounds like you are having a really miserable time of it and some people on here are flaming you in such as way that if it was me, I'd feel as though I am being accused of abusing, torturing and killing my child by refusing the breast.

You'd think that food was evil to some of these over dramatic queens!

If you want to stop, get some adive from your HV and a breastfeeding support network. You are unlikely to get a flaming from them!

Liara Fri 27-Sep-13 21:29:05

Maybe she's not quite ready for the variety of solids? My two dc developed their solids at massively different rates. While ds1 very quickly moved onto lots of different textures and loved it, ds2 was a much more reluctant eater and had to be weaned on pureed baby food, introducing only one flavour every few days (or even weeks) until he was used to it.

Interestingly ds2 eats more 'extreme' flavours (chutneys, spices, etc) than ds1 does now that they are older.

I feel for you, it's really exhausting when you feel that you have to be the 24 hour diner even though they aren't babies any more.

Both my DSs had a patch like this around their first birthday, (and they were both great eaters before too) but they both then got back to "normal" within a few weeks and dropped back down to a few feeds. DS1 then fed til 18m and DS2 still is now. Developmental thing maybe??

I didnt want to wean, so grit my teeth and got through it, but it was a bloody pita when they were attached all day and night, so you are allowed to be annoyed. smile

are you just annoyed for now, or do you want help weaning?

RhondaJean Fri 27-Sep-13 21:36:05

I'm sorry but I'm just gobsmacked at the 2.4 year old who feeds every 30-69 minutes! Have you not gone anywhere or done anything for the last two and a half years??

Maybe she's ill. Or teething.

Or, a small chance, that she's intolerant to some foods or has tongue tie or reflux so doesn't get on with solids.

I would feed her. When it comes to meals, sit her down while you eat and have some bits of food which are simple - plain strips of meat, plain veg, plain pasta etc so she can try from your plate.

squoosh Fri 27-Sep-13 21:44:38

I was a bit surprised by that too Rhonda.

The 2.4 year old had multiple allergies - that's not surprising they BF so much.

ThisWayForCrazy Fri 27-Sep-13 21:53:30

My 24 month old feeds frequently still. Sometimes for comfort. Sometimes for food.

If he is refusing food it is for a reason and he will breastfeeders more. I let him, because it refuse him feels utterly wrong.

But, I am shattered. And touched out. It's hard sad

HopLittleFroggiesHopHopHop Fri 27-Sep-13 22:37:37

Thank you for all the helpful replies, I'm more worried about her not eating than the breastfeeding, I would like to cut it down a little bit, but realistically I know she's going to need it for a fair while longer.
It's just how little she eats, I'm sure I must be doing something wrong, she eats less than some 4 month olds I know!

If she had a couple of mouthfuls, eg porridge, for breakfast, a couple of mouthfuls of fruit/snack and maybe 1 mouthful each of lunch and tea, I would class that as one of her best days. She regularly eats nothing, or spits everything out so it's near to nothing.

I've seen 2 doctors, at 9 months when she had refused everything for 3 months, and then at 11 months when she'd been having tiny amounts but still not much. Both said not to worry as long as she's getting milk.
I don't think she's picking up on me being tense, during meal times I'm pretty relaxed as it's been so long of her not eating I just expect it, but I'm just running out of ideas. I felt awful not letting her feed earlier, and even that didn't work.

If I hand her my food, she will hand it straight back like she thinks it's a game, if I try to spoon feed her she will close her mouth tight and swing her head from side to side, then try to grab the spoon and shake the food off, if I put food infront of her on the highchair she will drop it off the side piece by piece like she thinks its a game, and if she does eat anything she usually looks disgusted then doesn't want any more.

I'm going to get flamed for this but have you considered some form of night weaning and sleep training? The frequent might feeding could explain lack of appetite. And without proper rest she won't be receptive to anything.

FrogsGoWhat Fri 27-Sep-13 22:52:31

Oh and another thing that can help - for a few months I basically fed DD like a cat - plate of snacky food out to graze at will but no set meals. So sliced apples, cubes of cheese, breadsticks etc. I let her breast feed as much as she liked daytime as it reduced night time.

It passed. It's a phase smile

FrogsGoWhat Fri 27-Sep-13 22:54:19

DD now at 2.4 eats solids well at mealtimes, has self night weaned and normally only breast feeds about 4 times a day smile

CrowmarshGibbon Sat 28-Sep-13 06:31:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ah but your previous post sounds like you give her the food. She doesn't have control.

Don't feed her and just put stuff on her tray. Eat at the table when she does and make sure it's in grabbing distance. occasionally get up from the table or look away or something, don't watch her.

Also offer snacks instead of a feed. Or better yet you have a snack (just reduce your meals at other times) and let her grab some.

Basically adopting a breezy attitude - because I'm wondering if she feels under pressure eg in a Highchair with you watching her.

YoniBottsBumgina Sat 28-Sep-13 07:03:20

If you're anxious about whether she is eating or not, she will pick up on this and be less likely to eat - it's a control thing.

I know that just saying "don't be anxious" isn't helpful - but you could try doing something else while she eats, or try to change your mindset. The book I recommended earlier could help with this. This is a great information sheet from LLL as well, your local group may have them to give out or for a nominal 10p donation.

Another thing I read recently is about how it's your responsibility as the parent to provide enough food, tasty food, healthy food, but it's their responsibility as a person to choose to eat it or not, and really and honestly they won't starve themselves. There is no point feeling anxious about something you can't control, so try to let go, keep doing the thing you do have control over (to provide the food) and don't worry whether she eats it or not.

Another thing you might find helpful is this:

In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:
29% of energy requirements
43% of protein requirements
36% of calcium requirements
75% of vitamin A requirements
76% of folate requirements
94% of vitamin B12 requirements
60% of vitamin C requirements
– Dewey 2001

(Full article: kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/ebf-benefits/)

YoniBottsBumgina Sat 28-Sep-13 07:04:26

I agree it would be worth checking her mouth BTW, but DS was exactly like this and didn't have anything wrong, he was just reacting to a stressful situation. Is there anything big going on for your family currently?

Emsmaman Sat 28-Sep-13 08:26:34

DD breastfed like mad until 12 months old, then switched to bottles of cows milk. Around 16 mo she was still having about 5 bottles per day and very little solids, then all of a sudden she didn't want it anymore and started eating everything in sight. Now she has the occasional cup of milk but really isn't fussed by it. So just presenting the alternative viewpoint that sometimes they will just get there in their own time

NachoAddict Sat 28-Sep-13 19:53:19

Ds went through a phase of refusing anything that I tried to give to him but put a bowl of scrambled eggs and a spoon in front of him and he would go at it.

I know you said it just gets dropped over the sides but if you give her a few tries without stressing, just clear up the mess, she may just sneak the odd bit into her mouth.

chocolatemartini Sat 28-Sep-13 20:08:04

I'd feed her. Breast milk is full of good stuff. Can you feed her lying down with a book/ your phone so it's a rest for you? I basically used it as an excuse for a lie down when I was bf

girliefriend Sat 28-Sep-13 20:27:14

I don't think yabu at all, at one my dd was eating everything and anything. I can totally understand why you are worried, does she eat with you at the table? Dd liked to be sat at the table with us and her own food to eat in front of her.

I would at this age bf max 4 times a day and stop feeding at night. You will prob need to do some cc in terms that she will have to learn another way to settle herself but in the long term this will improve her appetite during the day and obv help her and you in that she will be getting a decent nights kip.

I would also go back to the dr, maybe keep a record of what she eats for a few days to show them.

What would freak me out about this is what would happen if something happened to you? If you were ill or had to go away for a couple of days what would she do?!

IamSlave Sat 28-Sep-13 20:53:28

please do not panic things change with DC very quickly its us who sees a behaviour then thinks its going to be like that forever, we also had food issues with DD1, she loooked so skinny compared to other babies, we saw a pead and everything. She was and is fine.

Relax, I worried more with first as she was not BF, so I was really worried about getting fresh food into her.

with no2, she is BF, on demand and just under a year we are taking it easy, offer her food off spoon, also little sarnies she can eat herself, a mixture, I do not stress if she hasn't had much.

I am looking to wean her off breast, but not yet, but very soon.

Your lucky you are BF she is getting as people have said - lots of amazing things from it. Yes babies start to need more at one, but not immediately at one.

Also try distraction, tv, in park....

IamSlave Sat 28-Sep-13 20:55:15

By the way, my PEAD told me he knew of one child who would eat nothing but satsumas for a few years! said the child was fine and healthy!¬

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