to get wound up with people going on about being pregnant

(52 Posts)
JRmumma Fri 27-Sep-13 09:30:44

Now i know i could just remove or hide these people on fb, but it really winds me up in rl too when pregnant women go on relentlessly about the fact that they are pregnant or about pregnancy related ailments etc. For example this morning ive seen a status update on how many times one person got up in the night to wee, one with a back ache, and one who hasn't been offered a seat on the train. OK WE GET IT, YOU ARE PREGNANT! WELL DONE!

It may sound a bit harsh but i just don't understand why we need relentless updates. I know they are excited and all that, ive got a 7 week old so i have a very fresh memory about how exciting it all is, but for everyone else it gets boring really quickly. I used to get sick of people continuously asking me how i was and expecting a pregnancy update when i was pregnant, and loved it when people ignored the fact i was expecting and spoke to me like an actual person, not a baby growing vessel.

Is it too much to ask that women realise the world doesnt revolve around their pregnancy and that everyone else is just getting on with their lives??????

Lottapianos Fri 27-Sep-13 09:36:57

You may be slightly U but actually I feel the same! I guess for that woman, her pregnancy is the most important thing in the universe so I get why she might want to talk about it all the time, but I also get why its very irritating

NotYoMomma Fri 27-Sep-13 09:39:58

I just fb what is on my mind so like you said, just hide it!

it just so happens what is on my mind recently is varicous veins, a nameless baby and sciatica.

previous month it was about my weekend away etc etc.

it doesn't really affect you does it?

Well, her world is currently revolving around her pregnancy, so her sense of perspective is skewed by that. The fact that you weren't like that doesn't prove anything - pretty much everything other people do I could say "Well. I don't do that", but they are them and you are you.

Just smile and nod and don't engage if you don't want to hear chapter and verse. And maybe accept that you'll be doing the same about some aspect of your life that they have no interest in either.

AngelsLieToKeepControl Fri 27-Sep-13 09:42:17

Yabu, it's an exciting time. I'm not sure updating fb is expecting the world to revolve around their pregnancies either.

I bet you did it as well when you were pregnant wink

YABVU. It's her FB page to update about her life. You know what to do if you don't like it. I don't suppose they're that fussed about reading your updates either, fascinating though they must be...

Yes I'm being narky but I can't bear FB moaners.

CoffeeTea103 Fri 27-Sep-13 09:43:45

You sound miserable, just because you were not like that doesn't mean other people shouldn't be.

gordyslovesheep Fri 27-Sep-13 09:44:40

ya only NBU if you don't post constantly about your life and your baby -

Your 'friends' are posting about the things that are going on for them - defriend them if you don't want to see it

CakeBotherer Fri 27-Sep-13 09:44:55

I get annoyed about people who bang on about all the holidays/trips they have taken, yet if I were able to go on holiday I'm sure I'd keep banging on about it.

It's easy to get wrapped up in your immediate situation (and pregnancy is life changing) and forget about how other people are feeling. Also people asking you about your pregnancy aren't mind readers. They may not really have wanted to ask/know, but felt you may have been insulted if they were perceived NOT to care.

So um, while I get your point, YABU sorry.

JRmumma Fri 27-Sep-13 09:45:32

They were 3 different women! They are all at it!

The train one was the most annoying though, so entitled! Just ASK if you need to sit down, if you are ok standing then just stand! You are pregnant, not ill! I know she is still physically able as this particular woman still mucks out her horse and goes to the gym. Its just an excuse to remind everyone that she is preggars.

Its not just fb though, that's just an example, alot of pregnant women are also such pregnancy bores in rl.

DidoTheDodo Fri 27-Sep-13 09:46:23

I agree.
Particularly hurtful to me and mine as we had a lost baby a few months ago and it just feels deeply thoughtless. I know it is exciting but even so....

jimijack Fri 27-Sep-13 09:46:30

If you had said that you had just miscarried or had fertility issues then I would have said with sympathy yanbu, BUT I'm not because you are not.

You are being crabby & irritated.

it is just all part of pregnancy & social media.

Hide it if it bugs you so much, have some chocolate & a brew & accept that this is how folk cope.

JRmumma Fri 27-Sep-13 09:49:03

And no, nothing about my pregnancy or baby on fb. Without getting into the whole argument about what fb is for and people can use it as they wish, it was just an example about the constant updates. Not necessarily status updates.

gamerchick Fri 27-Sep-13 09:52:10

Everybody has a pet hate on Facebook and I've noticed it's usually people who mostly on only post about one topic. May it be pregnancy.. kids.. what they're feeding their faces with complete with pictures... animal rights complete with desensitising videos and pictures etc etc everybody has one irritation.

But the option to hide or adjust what you see from that person is a wonderful thing grin

Nanny0gg Fri 27-Sep-13 09:53:56

I'm assuming your FB updates are riveting and of interest to all your friends?

bicyclefish Fri 27-Sep-13 09:54:34

you should be happy for them and just skim past their trivial blurb, or change the settings to only show important updates (like when the baby actually arrives?!) or simply remove the posts from your timeline.
you kinda know what you sign up for with FB and, contrary to popular belief, youcan tweek it quite a bit to you own person tastes.

AngelsLieToKeepControl Fri 27-Sep-13 09:54:53

Is it really so bad to take 5 seconds to read a message, or spend 10 minutes talking about an exciting and life changing part of a friends life?

weddingballs Fri 27-Sep-13 09:58:10

YANBU. What is really getting my goat at the moment is pregnant people who don't look very preg yet but think they do. You know, one hand in the small of their back supporting their non existant bump and one hand rubbing their non belly, all at 12 weeks.

The next 6months will b unbearable

I might do a AIBU about that lol

BillyGoatintheBuff Fri 27-Sep-13 09:59:57

Be careful criticising others for being boring, I hope you are the worlds most interesting person in the world! Not everything interests everyone. And apparently according to mn you have to watch what words you use all the time in case they make someone else stabby hmm

JRmumma Fri 27-Sep-13 10:01:51

I think you are right gamerchick. I do quite like the food ones though, gives me dinner ideas!

I very rarely write a status on fb, and its never anything personal. But then im quite a private person apart from with my family and real life friends.

JRmumma Fri 27-Sep-13 10:04:55

Weddingballs - snap!

Its not a fb thing though people! Its an annoyance of when someone thinks they are the only people in the world to have experienced something. Be it pregnancy, a holiday, buying a house, whatever.

bebopanddoowop Fri 27-Sep-13 10:15:39

Yes though I find it just as annoying people constantly updating you on their children's life/progress when they're finally born, too.

I found the constant pregnancy moaning most difficult when we were ttc, I just wanted to shout 'you should be GRATEFUL'! Now I am pregnant I only really tell my husband about all my ailments (unless I'm asked) 'cos I think it's important he shares it with me and what's going on inside me how his child goes about growing! I wouldn't go announcing to my friends how often I puke 'cos why would they wanna know?

bebopanddoowop Fri 27-Sep-13 10:17:32

JRmumma you are right - when people talk about mortgages and stuff I want to shout I KNOW I HAVE ONE TOO AND ITS BORING

amber381 Fri 27-Sep-13 10:25:56

Ha, I am due in about a week and haven't put anything on FB about it or told many people (live overseas) because I don't want to annoy people as I also find it annoying looking at pictures of other people's big bellies and updates etc! All being well with the baby I expect I will post something when she is born!

Dobbiesmum Fri 27-Sep-13 10:29:50

Are you sure you didn't do the same when pg? grin
I didn't think I did but looking back I did a hell of a lot of moaning about heartburn for the last few months of my last pregnancy, it makes me blush a bit as I don't post up very much now, just linking music I'm listening to or chatty stuff every so often.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Fri 27-Sep-13 10:40:27

I think there are a lot of people on fb who feel the need to over share. I know I have one fb friend who shares every detail of her life, I'm not sure why.

Being pregnant is exciting, but I'm pretty sure I didn't put how many trips to the loo I'd suffered on fb.

I guess it's the same as people announcing their pregnancy the minute they find out. Makes it the longest pregnancy in the world for everyone else.

RinseAndRepeat Fri 27-Sep-13 10:42:59

I know what you mean OP. My friend calls this sort of thing Facebook Munchsusen's.

It's not just pregnancy though. I have two FB friends in particular who post constant updates about how ill they are. Bad shoulder, migraine, chest infection, how the second lot of antibiotics haven't made any difference, back to the physio tomorrow to sort out knee problem, etc.

I know it's inconsequential but it really winds me up.

MidniteScribbler Fri 27-Sep-13 11:03:06

You think that's bad? I had one friend who updated every time her dog had a poop! confused

JRmumma Fri 27-Sep-13 11:29:46

Those people irritate me too!!! I get updates on what time someone's puppy wakes them up each morning. INTERESTING!!

DidoTheDodo Fri 27-Sep-13 11:33:59

I think the pregnancy ones are far worse than the (boring) mortgage ones as it is such an emotive subject with the power to be very hurtful.
I'd have thought "I can't get a mortgage" is possibly less devastating than "I can't have a baby".

My personal pet hate is pictures of babies eating very messily. It just makes me feel sick!

FutTheShuckUp Fri 27-Sep-13 11:41:52

I know someone like this. Every minute boring mundane detail of pregnancy. And now constant updates of her 'baby' (who's three) sleeping or eating or dancing as if she's the only child that's ever existed. Grr.

101handbags Fri 27-Sep-13 11:46:40

My facebook timeline is full of pets, babies, children, meals and cakes. I have no interest in any of these but it's what's important in people's lives so it's what they post. I post a lot about the exhibitions, theatre, ballet and cinema I have seen lately as that's what I am interested in. It probably bores the cakes & babies friends to death.

DoudousDoor Fri 27-Sep-13 12:26:56

I'm kinda on the fence on this one, mainly because its FB and a lot of people use it to post mundane trivia, whether its pregnancy, dieting, holidays or whatever. So why highlight the annoying pregnancy ones more than the other ones?

On the other hand, I got lots of TMI about my SIL's pregnancy (and I'm not even on FB!), which, if I'd had more energy, I would have found irritating because when I was pregnant a few years earlier I was expressly forbidden by my DB to talk about my pregnancy to SIL as she would "freak out" hmm as she thinks babies are "parasites". Fortunately I couldn't be bothered to get irritated and instead just found it mildly amusing that there were such double standards!

DoJo Fri 27-Sep-13 12:41:02

One of my friends appeared to be involved in some kind of competition to see how many topics she could relate to being pregnant, and managed to mummyjack almost every status anyone posted with stuff about her pregnancy. Nobody was allowed to be tired, feel ill, have a bad week or just have a little moan about anything without her popping up with a 'try all that when you're growing a human' post or a 'I'm ill too and can't even have aspirin so count yourself lucky' as though pregnancy was an entirely un-asked-for condition which had been foisted upon her.

OP - have you seen www.stfuparentsblog.com/? It might help to get it all out of your system without resorting to blocking people, although it sounds as though you could be one of their major contributors at the moment!

MrsMook Fri 27-Sep-13 12:44:41

I've hidden a few people having long tedious pregnancies. I'm probably a hypocrite, but justify myself by covering it with humour rather than being a joyless whinge. I prefer to catch up on them once a week and get it in a wallop rather than be drip-fed their whinges constantly.

I don't doubt that I'm a baby bore, but given that my life is spent with a baby and toddler near constantly, there's not much else that is scintilating to report. Of the infant free moments this week, they can be summed up by "went to aqua areobics" and "Guiding planning meeting". Also deeply scintilating. People are free to hide me if they wish. Also I have distant friends and family who are interested in how we are doing.

A lot of people are mono-themed. I find it's their style of posting more than the topic that bothers me. I tended to save the venting about SPD for baby groups rather than general status. People dismissive of helpful suggestions tend to rile me more than the need to vent, and those who are uniformly negative.

YABU, you don't have to be wound up. Just hide them.

needaholidaynow Fri 27-Sep-13 13:01:44

For that woman, and for millions of other women, their worlds are revolving around their own pregnancies.

When I was pregnant all I could think about was the fact that I was pregnant. I accept that I was a huge bore to some people, but that was who I was for 9 months: a pregnant woman!

JRmumma Fri 27-Sep-13 13:16:32

Loving that site DoJo!

Lj8893 Fri 27-Sep-13 13:31:00

Hmmm I'm pregnant (sorry for mentioning it!) and have post a fair amount of pregnancy/baby related things on my Facebook. But not ailments or things like that. Just things which I know my family and close friends who I don't see often will like to read. Things like we have just set up the nursery, bought first outfit etc.

And in rl, I do talk about my pregnancy a little bit, but not overly so. Am I meant to just not talk about the biggest thing in my life right now?

FeckOffCup Fri 27-Sep-13 13:35:20

I'm on the fence too, on the one hand it's their facebook page and they can put what they want, on the other hand it can get boring/annoying. My friend has updated seven times since yesterday about going on holiday (driving to the airport now, waiting at check in, in the airport bar etc) and I am at the point of thinking just STFU, we don't need every detail.

FacebookWanker Fri 27-Sep-13 13:39:41

Lj my fried sed to roll hers eyes every time I mentioned something pregnancy related...I don't think I put any updates on Facebook...

jammiedonut Fri 27-Sep-13 13:42:08

I'm on the fence. On the receiving end, yes it is irritating, but you do have the power to ignore. I was guilty of endless pregnancy talk this year. My pregnancy consumed my life, I couldn't move without being in constant pain or discomfort, so unfortunately it was the only thing I could think, and therefore talk about. I had fertility issues and was also so so happy to be pregnant I wanted to tell everyone all the time. I'm sure it was intensely annoying but luckily I'm surrounded by lovely people who kept their irritation to themselves. As far as I'm aware no one started bitching about it on the Internet!

Crocodilehunter Fri 27-Sep-13 13:56:18

Different strokes for different folks!
I love pregnancy & baby updates makes me all fuzzy and broody much to the dismay of my DP grin
On the other hand cant stand updates that go on like, i have millions of clothes but never treat my self so am buying this, this and this today, they write something similar every other week confused

JRmumma Fri 27-Sep-13 14:20:32

Don't get me wrong, if you want to announce your pregnancy, or the sex, or occasionally post something that might be nice for those who care to know, then fine. But if you are relating EVERYTHING in your life to being pregnant then its too much and im sorry, but its boring!

Lj8893 Fri 27-Sep-13 14:24:55

Boring to you, yes. But obviously not to that person.

MitMopse Fri 27-Sep-13 15:54:34

Have to agree with op this annoys me too but learning how to hide certain people's posts has improved my fb enjoyment no end! It's the same thing as when someone posts about their holiday/ food/ cause/ new dog every five minutes- it's just a bit boring. Maybe I should just put fb away and do something worthwhile with my time....

redexpat Fri 27-Sep-13 16:18:23

YANBU. Everyone knows that pregnant women are smug

neenienana Fri 27-Sep-13 16:39:35

I am pregnant and found that video hilarious. It's true, but maybe less so for mums who already have kids. Thus is my third and I am boring myself with all the chat. Can't wait to get back to normal and feel like me again. I also am acutely aware if many friends/colleagues on fb who can't concieve so would never post endless updates, it is so boring.

neenienana Fri 27-Sep-13 16:40:33

I am pregnant and found that video hilarious. It's true, but maybe less so for mums who already have kids. Thus is my third and I am boring myself with all the chat. Can't wait to get back to normal and feel like me again. I also am acutely aware if many friends/colleagues on fb who can't concieve so would never post endless updates, it is so boring.

SelectAUserName Fri 27-Sep-13 17:03:20

Even when I don't find something particularly interesting, I can accept that it is of importance to the person talking/updating about it, but there are some people who give the impression of being The Only Person in the World, Ever, to have gone through X.

I worked with someone very like DoJo's acquaintance: having talked from the moment she got married about how much she was looking forward to starting a family and how exciting it would all be and how she couldn't wait to be pregnant, when she did announce her pregnancy a few months later all - and I mean ALL - she did was moan about it. From the outside, she seemed to be having a fairly straightforward pregnancy; no hyperemesis, no particular concerns for her or her baby's health, but EVERYTHING was so much effort, or she had to be extra-careful because she was having a baby, didn't you know? And she could no longer do X or Y at work (she had a desk job FFS!) and she needed a special chair, and someone to wheel it into the meeting room for her hmm and was just a complete pain about it from beginning to end, while around her there were other pregnant colleagues, some of whom were dealing with things like hyperemesis, gestational diabetes and in one particularly awful case, worrying genetic test results, just getting on with it.

So you are B a bit U, OP, but I know the type and I sympathise!

SaucyJack Fri 27-Sep-13 17:20:30

YABU. People are entitled to talk about the things that are important to them on their personal FB pages- in fact I'd go as far as to say that was the whole point of social media.

If you're enough of a dickhead to be aggressively bored or offended by what your alleged friends are posting, then do them a favour and delete them.

YANBU. I suspect most of the people on my FB don't know I'm pregnant and 'thanks' to being so hugely fat anyway, at 34+6, I still don't REALLY look up the duff.

I got told the other day I don't behave like I'm pregnant. [shrug] This is my first so I'm not entirely sure how I'm meant to behave? Is there some sort of mummy to be behaviour that I'm missing out on?

JRmumma Fri 27-Sep-13 18:02:50

But i AM a dickhead saucyjack, just not a boring one!

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