To not like myself that much, especially on here

(65 Posts)
SocksinBoots Thu 26-Sep-13 19:34:22

I've just had a cringey look through my old posts (under loads of different usernames) and I think I sound like an arsehole.

I try to respond to new posts and then read back my reply and think "ugh, what a pratt/arsehole/whiner" and then go back to Active Convos.

Calloh Thu 26-Sep-13 19:51:30

Oh me too! I sound so different from who I think of myself as. But then I wonder if I'd sound like a total dick if I had a stenographer following me around all the time?

DioneTheDiabolist Thu 26-Sep-13 19:55:41

It's not you OP, it's the written word. Some people are brilliant at it. I am not one of them.

But here, it's the content, not the flow of the prose that matters. You have something to say. Your comment is as valid as anyone else's. Keep posting.smile

littlewhitebag Thu 26-Sep-13 19:59:11

In real life i think i am witty and smart and i like to banter with my friends and family. But on MN i seem to come across as dull and sensible. I just think i can't translate what i would say into written words.

Portofino Thu 26-Sep-13 20:02:06

I tend to have little patience and think I come across as much worse on line than I ever am in RL.

Bowlersarm Thu 26-Sep-13 20:05:15

Me too. I sound totally humourless. Like a prim and proper dry old stick. I'm not in RL, honestly.

Pagwatch Thu 26-Sep-13 20:07:28

I fret about stuff I write but I feel better having read this because none of ou have struck me in the way you describe yourselves. smile

Perhaps we are all too self critical?

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Thu 26-Sep-13 20:09:13

I always start writing responses to posts then think 'oh my god I'm boring myself' and delete them.

i do what puds does, always write half a post then delete it and think "why am I writing this, its a load of shite"
I've nearly done it three times writing this post, have made myself finish it!!

elQuintoConyo Thu 26-Sep-13 20:15:02

Nah, you're all a bunch of dullards grin

I'm very funny on MN... in my head!

Reading back my posts I sound unoriginal and waffly, I take a long time to get to the point, by which time three posters have said the same thing more succinctly/wittily etc and I come across as a bit rubbish!

Mintyy Thu 26-Sep-13 20:15:49

Pointless op.

Pagwatch Thu 26-Sep-13 20:19:37

Most of the posts I don't actually post have 'fucking twat' in them.

thebody Thu 26-Sep-13 20:19:44

'say what you see, say what you see' you know like catchphrase. grin

and stop name changing, it's cowardly.grin

JesusInTheCabbageVan Thu 26-Sep-13 20:20:54

What should she have posted, Mintyy? grin

GetStuffezd Thu 26-Sep-13 20:22:25

Pointless op.
Wankerish post

elQuintoConyo Thu 26-Sep-13 20:28:08

Hahaha Mintyy what a gas!

If pointless MN threads were ants, there'd be milions.

Or something.

Mintyy Thu 26-Sep-13 20:30:29

Pointless if she is going to hide in disguise. Obvs.

ShakeRattleNRoll Thu 26-Sep-13 20:32:11

op Treat it as a learning curve, thank you for your honesty

NoelHeadbands Thu 26-Sep-13 20:33:22

Oh I'm a right knobhead on here- always looking for the cheap joke, like some 'I'm mad me' twat. Cringe.

To be fair, I'm a bit like that in RL as well, but I do reign it in a bit more

I like willies

usualsuspect Thu 26-Sep-13 20:37:14

I know I'm a twat on here.

I can't help myself.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Thu 26-Sep-13 20:40:18

I'm an earnest dullard. In fact, I'd have that as my nn but I think it's taken. < bores off >

Hassled Thu 26-Sep-13 20:40:39

I'm often very pompous. Either pompous or a bit tryhard and earnest. I'm neither in RL.

And yes, it is all about the written word - I'm sure some of the people who come across as wankers don't realise how they are read, IYSWIM, while some people are just able to write in such a way that they're instantly likeable.

elQuintoConyo Thu 26-Sep-13 20:41:09

Oooh, willies... I like them, too.

ErrolTheDragon Thu 26-Sep-13 20:42:10

What's unfair is that some people are never twats envy looking at Dione...even on this thread untwattish.

FunnysInLaJardin Thu 26-Sep-13 20:42:29

gawd I never look back. I think I'd die tbh. I like myself for today and thats all that matters to me

ShootMeNowPlease Thu 26-Sep-13 20:45:10

I really don't like myself on here much, which is one of the many reasons why I'm so careful to stay very anonymous (which reminds me, it's time I changed my name again). But that's because I come here to whinge, complain, say I can't cope and generally vent all the stuff I can't let out in real life. I think I'm a nicer person in the real world than I am on here.

And I don't look back at old posts.

FunnysInLaJardin Thu 26-Sep-13 20:48:21

oh and yy to the stop NCing. Don't look back, but never NC. Unless of course you have admitted to some murder or other. As soon as I see someone say 'oh I got a telling off on AIBU and had to NC' I think what a wuss

BlingBang Thu 26-Sep-13 20:50:55

Nah, i only name change so much as I spill too much and realise I could be recognised. Probably time for another NC, shame, I like this one...

FunnysInLaJardin Thu 26-Sep-13 20:52:44

why does it matter though what you spill? Unless it is seriously incriminating? My MN name is almost part of me now

usualsuspect Thu 26-Sep-13 20:55:07

I could never NC.

Even if I've been a mega twat, I just brazen it out grin

DoBatsEatCats Thu 26-Sep-13 20:55:20

Yep, I'm with BlingBang. I like the idea of "knowing" people on here, but I don't like the idea that if anyone in RL spotted me on here they could read everything I've ever posted, including times when I've felt unbelievably low at stages of parenting I found very hard. And if a colleague spotted me I'd have to commit ritual hara-kiri.

Calloh Thu 26-Sep-13 20:58:23

I've name changed from please pudding because it was a shit name and then Firm Young Carrot because it made me sound like I'm young when I'm 33 and i was really thinking about Withnail. But then my name now reads like callow which is probably how I sound. It's weird how your name makes you feel about your responses.

I feel very serious and mature as Calloh which is ridiculous

BlingBang Thu 26-Sep-13 21:00:36

There are a few old well known posters who never seem to give anything away about their lives, I couldn't really tell you nothing about them. They just seem to comment on what other posters write, nothing personal given away. there are only a few who I feel I know lots about.

Calloh Thu 26-Sep-13 21:02:58

Sometimes I see names I think are really, really great and hilarious and get a bit jealous.

OP you do not come across as unlikeable at all.

olidusUrsus Thu 26-Sep-13 21:04:37

I'm a right dick. On here and IRL probably sad

LRDMaguliYaPomochTebeSRaboti Thu 26-Sep-13 21:06:31

I know what you mean. I can get it really badly wrong, and I feel a twit when I do.

But I honestly think it's pretty rare that someone consistently comes across as unlikeable.

Bowlersarm Thu 26-Sep-13 21:08:18

Same here usual

The only way I could ever see myself name changing is if I have a very personal problem I wanted opinions on. I might just be a different name for that particular thread.

If I've had argy bargey on a thread I wouldn't change my name. You just have to take it on the chin.

CatAmongThePigeons Thu 26-Sep-13 21:09:46

I feel I come across as a twat on here, thankfully I am quite invisible on her and IRL, so my twattishness is avoided.

I do sometimes wonder why I wrote what I did, then I cringe and die a little more inside.

usualsuspect Thu 26-Sep-13 21:13:10

I don't really think a chat forum is that important tbh.

It's just pissing about on the internet.

southeastastra Thu 26-Sep-13 21:14:17

if we over analysed everything we said on here mn just wouldnt exist

LRDMaguliYaPomochTebeSRaboti Thu 26-Sep-13 21:17:32

Oh, I agree usual but I am sure I come across pretty much the same in RL. It's just in RL you don't get the chance to analyse as it's not all written down.

No one else will ever agonize over what you say as much as you.

ElizabethBathory Thu 26-Sep-13 21:19:05

I nc all the time because I think I'm coming across as a twat. With each nc I think right that's it, I'm not going to sound like a twat now, but after a couple of minutes days I've said something cringeworthy again.

Not going to nc again now I know everyone else feels the same grin Plus I love my new name.

FunnysInLaJardin Thu 26-Sep-13 22:45:55

I think we need to apply the handbag and watch test to NCing. I for example keep the same handbag and watch come what may and indeed only own one bag/watch. Others I know chop and change according to their mood. It seems alien to me, I would feel disloyal to my handbag/watch. And I feel the same about my MN name <freak>

I think I am insightful and wise and everyone should fall about laughing at my great wit and acknowledge my advice as the definitive for their situation.

Back in the real world...

Countess Bathory... Now there was a woman who got what she wanted.

SocksinBoots Fri 27-Sep-13 01:29:15

Sorry, fell asleep shortly after posting.

Thanks for making me feel normal. I shall try to stop the cowardly name changes smile

WhiteandGreen Fri 27-Sep-13 02:11:47

Name change as much as you like. I do now and then, when I've said something really prattish.

When you reread something daft you've said it feels as real as if you've just said it, whereas in RL such incidents fade into the distance.

randomAXEofkindness Fri 27-Sep-13 07:20:08

I name-changed from nocoolusernameYO because I reread my comments and realized that I sounded like a thick version of Sheldon off the big bang theory. I thought I'd try being one of these likeable counselor type clever people. But I sound exactly the same, because it's still me writing the posts. I can't help but write everything like I'm writing a letter to the council, except the grammar is worse because I don't edit it 60 times, like I do with letters to the council... you see? I'm boring myself.

Calloh Fri 27-Sep-13 08:28:56

Random, I didn't think that was boring, I thought it was hilarious and I laughed out loud. Mumsnet makes me laugh so much but i rarely then post about it. So I suppose we often don't know how people react to posts anyway.

randomAXEofkindness Fri 27-Sep-13 08:54:28

Arrhh shucks, thanks Calloh grin. I want to think of another funny thing to say, but I honestly think it was a one off.

Preciousbane Fri 27-Sep-13 08:58:46

I'm not very good at writing I'm far better at talking so find it hard to put what I want on screen.

arethereanyleftatall Fri 27-Sep-13 08:59:24

I'm the same op. My posts are shit but I absolutely promise I'm nice in rl.

MoominsYonisAreScary Fri 27-Sep-13 09:17:20

Im the same preciousbane, also I feel invisible on here most of the time. I just come on to talk to myself grin

DioneTheDiabolist Fri 27-Sep-13 21:48:07

Errol, thank you.blush I can assure you however that there are plenty of members who think I'm a right twat.grin

Having read this thread I can see why people periodically ask for a like button. I have read many posts that have not commented on, but have stirred an emotion, inspired me or given me food for thought. I doubt I am unique in this. No one's posts are invisible.smile

Parmarella Fri 27-Sep-13 22:52:47

I don't think anyone gives sfuck about a random person's opinions.

OP, I don't even recognize your posts, so I have simply no opinion about you.

Most people on here just puss about onda internet, nobody is going to write a psychiatric character profile based on your posts.

I know I am a bitch in this post, cos Zi can be, but slso, in thd nicest way: don't worry!!!!!

Parmarella Fri 27-Sep-13 22:53:15

Fuckid am bit sloshed

DioneTheDiabolist Fri 27-Sep-13 23:12:41

So why have you posted Parmarella?wink

NoelHeadbands Fri 27-Sep-13 23:16:32

Fuckid am bit sloshed

Really? You don't say!

Arcadia Fri 27-Sep-13 23:24:02

I know exactly what you mean. I dislike my online persona and can't seem to 'get on' with people on here whereas in RL I usually get on with people really easily and make people laugh! I think I sound boring and pedantic on here, maybe because I don't want to offend people.
My mumsnet confidence shattering moment was when I posted about a horrible former boss in employment board and someone said he was right to be annoyed that I got pregnant. Hmmm. Can't remember what else she said but I got really upset and deleted the thread. I used a different name luckily.
Mumsnet is such a mixture of good and bad stuff. I mainly just lurk these days. Am shocked by some of the nasty stuff I see though.

MrsKoala Fri 27-Sep-13 23:31:10

My posts are completely mood affected. So regardless of the tone of the OP i just blunder in however i feel. If i'm in a playful mood i can be so flippant and other times i'm in a serious mood and waffle a load of worthy shite, talking about some academic theory or some bollocks. Sometimes i go back to a thread and cringe. It's not helped by the massive time difference here. Some threads move so fast i find it hard to keep up. By the time i've posted, my 'witty' observation is tired and has been pointed out better by others.

I am a hoot in rl tho, honest.

randomAXEofkindness Sat 28-Sep-13 01:01:25

grin at "waffle a load of worthy shite" - that's all I ever friggin do in rl.

ZingWantsCake Sat 28-Sep-13 01:20:12

I can't tell of YABU or not without reading some of your posts you deem rubbish.

I NC a few times, mainly for fun.
I had the piss taken out of my first username a few times, and I got bored with that attitude.

MrsKoala Sat 28-Sep-13 01:59:20

I NC in Jan as my old name was a pet name my exH gave me and i got re-married so it felt disloyal. But even when i think i've been an exceptional bellend i never NC. But i found some people who had given me a really hard time, suddenly were really nice to me, even when the same subjects arose and i wrote the same opinions. So i do think sometimes people recognise you and no matter what you say they are going to have a go, so it's nice to start afresh. I try to take each thread as new and even when i see posters i have had run ins with before, if i agree with them or find something they say funny, i will always agree and support them.

I think if you aren't reflective about what you say to people (whether in rl and on the internet - sometimes the web is worse because it is anonymous you can really be an arsehole with little repurcussions) there is something a little 'missing' somewhere. Self assessment is how i develop as a person, i can't imagine what a bigger twat i'd be if i didn't review myself and have word every now and then. <see, that's the kind of worthy shite i was talking about, it even has some kind of psychology lite, oprah style 'development' bullshit. I may start grading my posts - 7/10, excellent pretensions but lacking depth on the cod psychology grin

BlatantRedhead Sat 28-Sep-13 02:04:18

I always start writing responses to posts then think 'oh my god I'm boring myself' and delete them.

Exactly this..

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