Got my baby to sleep less than an hour ago...(67 Posts)
And he's awake again for another feed. He's 8 weeks old on Saturday, I thought it was supposed to get easier by now?! Will he ever go for longer than 2 hours between feeds?
Husband is happily snoring beside me having the wonderful excuse of going to work in the morning. I have a throbbing headache and I have to cook bloody lunch for friends tomorrow!
Sorry, not an AIBU, thought I was in Chat.
Bloody sleep deprivation.
Oh I know it's hard but 8 weeks is so tiny. My nine month old is on his 4th wake up already (nasty molars). It does get easier I promise
and then hard again. My DS started to have some better nights sleep around 13 weeks.
Could you text your friends tomorrow and let them know you've been up all night? Nice friends would either cancel or offer to bring you nice dinner with them so you don't have to cook.
I feel your pain. Mine is 5 months and wakes a lot. I'm a zombie in the day and have two other dc to look after.
Make sure you're feeding both sides (if bf) and burping properly. I always change nappy too, then in theory he should sleep a decent stint.
of course at 8wks it could be a growth spurt, esp if he's not usually this bad, in which case just go with it.q
Good luck, it depend on how may dc you have and their age gap. I haven't slept much for 10 years but it does get easier.
Feel your pain, my 8 wk old twins have been fed 10pm, 1am, 3am and 5am. Usually just get on with it, but feeling v tired and 'when will this ever end' tonight. Luckily we have a spare bedroom and I'm in it, so not reminded that others (dh) are sleeping whilst I am awake which strangely makes it feel better.
Cancel the lunch, or ask friends to bring a sandwich/make lunch.
I feel you... was in tears at 2.30am this morning because I felt I just couldn't face feeding 7 week old again. Then my 2 year old woke up crying...
We just have to get through it and trust it will get easier. I feel awful as I'm wishing away time with a gorgeous newborn baby
Yep I remember these days/nights of hell with ds.
With dd (my second), I basically kept her in the sling all day until 3/4 months and put her down in a dark room at 6pm - that was the only way to keep the long night wakings to a minimum!
Cancel lunch, unless they bring the food. Good friends will bring food and tissues for you.
Every 2 hours is normal for bf. make sure lo has both boobs.
Frowned up on here, but a dummy saved my sanity at week 8. Dd was a 'sucky' baby and so would suck for ages, but then projectile throw up because she'd over fed (and they say you can over feed a bf baby, in my case, you could).
Try and sleep today when baby naps.
And yes cancel lunch. What are you doing cooking big meala with an 8 week old
Def re think lunch. You have to feed baby but you do not have to feed grown adults. Good friends would come round, bring a dish, give baby a cuddle so you can actually sit down and eat something. It does get easier.
You are all some sort of superwoman species. Twins? Multiple children? 10 years? This morning I told my husband our baby will have to be an only child as I'm not doing this again.
I only ever give him one boob, no-one ever told me I should offer both. He feeds from one until he's had enough, I always try to give him more in the hope he'll go for longer but once he's had enough that's it. Should I stop him halfway through to swap sides?
And yes I caved at 6 weeks and gave him a dummy, but only at night. He does that exact same sucky, sicky cycle.
Most of my nights are also like this with 8 week old DD.
Last night we had a rare good night, dream feed at 10, she woke at 2:30 for her next feed and then again at 6:30 which was the start of the day. It's amazing how one good night makes you feel better, and reminded me that things WILL get better!
Soursweets I am on the verge of tears this morning. Must be something in the air.
My LO was 8 weeks old yesta and i am just so tired and low thinking of the relentlessness of it all.
I am EBF and she has bad tummy pains after EVERY feed. She burps easily and well but it gives her no relief, she just cries and cries kicking her legs and burying her head in my shoulder.
I have been to the GP 4 times, I do not know what else to do but I dread feedings now. Surely this is not right? The soothing, shushing, rocking, patting etc after every feed is EXHAUSTING. Do all babies do this? Is this normal?
Why do I have it in my head that you have a lovely calm bfeed, burp the put beautiful calm bubba down?
Sorry to moan on your thread.
I think you should scrap lunch. Or at least make it a "bring and share".
Also @SourSweets, I only offer one boob as well. I figured out that after DD came off 1st boob she was asleep, I would wind her and then give her the other one which would wake her and she'd be wide awake. Then when we put her down it was an endless cycle of dummy in, dummy out, cry. So I started putting her down after she came off the first boob and it takes her a lot less time to settle!
Oh Mrsspagbol, that sounds awful. Mine takes forever to settle too and I spend the whole time thinking how this is eating in to my sleeping time before the next feed. I'm not even close to being an expert on this (I wouldn't be posting if I was) but have you tried gripe water, infacol and burping in several different positions? Or might it be an allergy to the milk?
I'm cancelling lunch. Feel very guilty as I never cancel plans but fuck it, they don't have babies they don't understand!
Don't cancel it -- get them to make it! (And hold the baby for you while they do everything, and you go for a shower...)
Oh Sour those first few months are bloody hard work. You're doing fab, good on you for cancelling lunch. Tell them why though, if you were my friend I would bring round food and look after you! Hope you get a bit more sleep soon!
Tell them you've been up all night.
I would bring food and and tissues and cuddle lovely baby while you ate/showered/slept if I were your friend.
(I don't have and DCs either so your friends might be better than you think.)
Hi Sour -
Yes have tried Infacol, gripe water, infant gaviscon and Colief.
Colief seems to work the best.
Gripe water just sort of works as a distraction cos she hates it and she tends to splutter but then forget about her tummy for a bit?
We massage and bicycle leg too.
I don't know what else to do. Got the GP at 11 and really cant think of anything to say that I have not said already.
I may just sit there and cry.
She feeds well but then you can literally set your watch by it - a few mins after the burp the crying and leg kicking starts.
Re allergy, what allergy might it be? I don't really like milk and dairy products [dairy upsets my tummy]so I only have about 5 mls of milk in my one coffee a day, and butter spread on my morning toast. Would that be enough to cause an intolerance for her??
i hope your friends come round and cook for you or let you take a nap!!
Oh dear, poor all of you - this the very hardest time, I think, when the absolute newness shock and awe is wearing off and the 2 hour feeds and no bloody sleep ever grinding on. Do please cut yourselves some slack, you are all doing amazing jobs looking after the babies and truly, don't try to do much else. It will, eventually, get easier, and you can cook lunches then. Definitely second the get your friends round with sandwiches (and cake, and prosecco). And go to bed with the baby and just don't get up for the rest of the day. Wish I had done much more of that, looking back!
Sorry to hijack but mrsspagbol have you thought it could be something you're eating? If its after every feed... My DS had tummy pains, would wriggle in pain etc then be sick - after a lot of research found out he was reacting to citric acid (I was having orange juice, grapes etc).
Yeah, maybe that was a bit harsh about my friends. I don't feel like I can get them to bring stuff, or that I can go off to have a snooze while they're watching the baby, they're quite new friends and I'd have to properly "entertain" them. They're great with the baby but you go round someone's house for lunch and end up babysitting... I can see that as an AIBU thread itself. "To think that if you are invited for lunch you're not going as free childcare"
The milk allergy.. I don't know, I've heard that some babies can be allergic to the milk itself rather than anyhting you've eaten. I don't know if that's true or not but as you're going to the GP anyway it might be worth asking. Also have you asked on the breast feeding board? There's some very knowledgeable people there.
Ps OP you are doing great! It all got easier about 10 weeks for me Get your friends to bring lunch, sleep when you can, repeat "this too shall pass" and remember you are doing great!
I know what I'll do about lunch: I'll change it to just tea and cake. Then I can just buy a cake and it so t be such a long afternoon. Done. (Thanks for that idea Fingerbobs!)
Have you spoken to a BF counsellor? Your little one could have silent reflux which is like heart burn and happens regardless of what you eat... Both of mine had/have this. Soya was another (and quite awful) trigger.
Your baby is 8 weeks, they are not real friends if you have to entertain them! At the very most, go and buy bread, cheese and pate and some pastries, throw the baby at them when they arrive, have a shower and put the above in the table. Honestly, my twins are 7 months and friends came round on sat and THRY brought dinner with them for us all and they washed up and left at 10.30. This is your time to accept every favour and bit of help going.
Also I found with my sicky unsettled baby, that's holding them upright for 20 mins after a feed really helped. Had to do this for ages but it worked so I did it.
When BF I got told to think of first side as starter and main course and second boob like desert. Sometimes you want none of it, sometimes a little and sometimes a lot!
Best method I found for winding, shown to me by a mother craft nurse overseas. Lie baby on tummy over your forearm so head at your elbow and their tummy area on the palm of your hand and your fingers holding their nappy between their legs. Tilt your arm so they are angled towards your body so they don't fall. Then rub up and down the length of their back. Means they can burp/puke/fart or poo whatever is needed as you are rubbing up and down back to move wind. They can also fall asleep as their head is supported in crook of elbow.
The sleepless nights do ease otherwise none of us would have ever had any more : )
If baby is asleep after the first boob then try winding over your shoulder and changing nappy, purposefully letting legs out etc to wake them up then try to get baby to latch on tthe other boob once they've woken.
They might not want it in which case just put back down to sleep but most likely will have at least a few minutes.
Also the way I do it is the first feed start on the left then have the right boob second. The next feed start on the right boob and have the left one second. Etc etc. .
This way if baby only has mainly foremilk from the second boob they're more likely to get to the hindmilk from that boob when they have the next feed as you start on that side.
Plus at this age probably a growth spurt too.
God it gets more and more complicated! Foremilk and hind milk?
I will try that method tonight though, thank you.
I'm in bed already. Fingers crossed we all get a good night tonight!
Fore milk is thin and watery, hind milk is thick and creamy. If you express some milk into a container it separates into the different layers. You want them to get as much hind milk as they can.
Hoping you get sleep tonight.
Ah ok.. Well I did the 2 boob method at midnight, and he slept for 3 hours after that, a total of 3 and a half hours between feeds!
Feeding him again now and did the wake-up-nappy-change-second-boob so hoping that will last too. He keeps falling back to sleep though!
Re 'fore' and 'hind' milk Essentially, milk gets fattier steadily across the course of a feed, and/or the emptier the breast is. Either way, a bigger feed ought to help spread them out, good luck with the rest of tonight!
mrsspagbol it could be worth cutting dairy completely fora months trial. Since you are sensitive, baby is more likely to be as well and I found with my LO that even tiny amounts in my diet made a difference.
That sounds more positive, at that age 3 hours ish is about as long as my babies went between feeds.
DC2 is 4 months old now and is just starting to go for longer than that stretching to 3.5 to 4 hours some feeds at the moment. Fed at 10.30 last night and awake at 3.30 now for the next one, that's the longest stretch for a long time for me.
10.30-3.30 sounds lovely! I hope you were in bed right after that 10.30 feed!
He was ready for another feed 2 hours later this time, but I pushed it to 2.5 before feeding him. He's now sleeping again but very noisily.
MrsSpagbol how was the GP? I hope you're having an easier night too. Thinking of you and your little one.
Yes straight away so I managed a 4hour stretch of sleep which was lovely. hopefully if you keep feeding him the same way all the time he'll get more milk in the day too which should also help the nights.
The way I was told to think about it though is that when they want more they put their order in overnight to send
More signals to your body to increase your supply for the next day, so sometimes he will want feeding more frequently again but then it will most likely settle down.
You'll also find a growth spurt at around 12 weeks and probably 16 too. It's worth having a look at kellymom website as their is some fab bf advice on there.
My DS is 9 weeks now and also wakes up every 2 hours for a bf. My 2 year old wakes up nearly every hour too. She won't let DP put her back to sleep so I have to do everything, so I know how you feel. The baby has a cold at the moment, so was awake half the night.
You've probably heard this 1000 times but you really need to sleep when the baby does during the day. Even just a half an hours nap in the afternoon will male a difference.
I found getting up in the night with my first newborn a lot harder than getting up with a toddler and a newborn because I just wasn't used to it. Honestly you will get used to it and your baby will start sleeping better eventually.
unless you've got my DD
Sorry I've just read that back and it's just a rambling mess but I blame it on the lack of sleep. hopefully you'll know what I mean.
mrsspagbol I'd ask for an assessment for tongue tie. It might be worth having a breast feeding assessment to catch the latch because that can be a factor. My local sure start centre offers a latch assessment, it's worth asking.
Sour glad you got a longer stretch. I offer both sides to DD most of the time (just one say if I'm topping her up before a car journey). I like the idea of main course one side and pudding the next! Yes the amount she takes from the second side varies but it seems to satisfy her.
Sour sweets, glad it's a bit better already. I was just going to respond pretty much as fresh01 did - do offer both sides and if you need to wake up by changing/ tickling feet/ touching cheek to wake up and make sure DS is absolutely full, do it. Do it in the day as well as night, it won't make much difference at this stage but when DS is a little older and tummy bigger, there's a chance he can take most milk in the day and therefore sleep longer stretches at night.
I wouldn't get too wound up about fore milk and hind milk, you'll worry yourself over nothing. Just make sure that DS finishes a full boob (ie. your breast is soft and no longer feels full before switching sides). Milk doesn't magically change from fore to hind, it's a gradual progression as the feed goes on, so not a huge amount you can do other than 'finishing' one side. Agree with pp that kellymom has some good articles on this.
Baby gaviscon could also be worth trying via prescription if the winding isn't working, but sounds like it's better with more winding already?
How was the tea and cake?
It is relentless at the time but it passes. I've had three. Dd2 who was born in winter was the worst night feeds - it was cold. We co-slept a lot so I didn't have to get out of bed!
One thing I found helpful washaving the radio on. There's all sorts of plays and comedy on 4 extra all through the night. You don't feel quite as despairing in you're listening to something good and it won't wake your partner. (As if!)
Thank you Petals I will take a look now.
I took him to be weighed this morning and he's on the 91st centile so no doubts that he's getting enough milk!
Thank you Alicia, he seems to bring up wind fine but he'll just be very noisy in his sleep, grunting the whole time and straining. He's not constipated so I'm not sure why he does it. He was at least going straight back to sleep after feeds last night though. I feel so much better for it this morning!
Mrsspagbol come back and let us know how you're getting on!
Cancel your lunch. It will get easier. DS was like this. He's 13 weeks now and sleeps much better. Hang in there. Can you express a bottle so DH can give it at say, 11, then you will at least get a couple of hours?
Yay, glad you feel better today. My first was a really noisy sleeper for no apparent reason so we moved her into her room quite early on with a monitor. But it is easier to be in the same room really for night feeds on the whole.
Hopefully you'll get more rest tonight too. I've had one born between 91st - 98th centile so know it can be relentless sometimes
Just wanted to say that your gp can refer you to a paediatric who can prescribe more potent reflux medication. The grunting and straining noises sound like he is very uncomfortable and gaviscon is often not enough to make a refluxing baby comfortable, if that is the problem. Good luck x
Do you think so? I hadn't thought it was reflux, he doesn't even wake up so sometimes and the grunting tends to be his standard noise rather than crying. He very rarely cries. He grunts when he's hungry or when he needs a poo. How can you tell if it's reflux?
Yesterday he went 2.5 hours between feeds all day and tonight he's gone 3 hours and then 3.5 hours (almost)! Thanks to all who gave advice, I've followed it and its only ruddy bloody working!
Come to think of it, he is quite a sicky baby and is happier sleeping more upright, in his bouncer or if I angle the Moses so it's tilted upright a bit. That does point to reflux doesn't it?
Poor boy! How did mummy not realise that sooner! I'll get him some baby gavison today and see if that helps, if not will take him to the doctors.
That sounds like it might be reflux. DD is the same. We got into a vicious cycle - she fed, had reflux (her breath smelt acidic), then she'd feed to try and settle it only making the reflux worse. Sometimes she arches her back and pulls off feeding too. Gaviscon really helped this.
Hi everyone, sorry to not be able to name you all individually but LO doesn't sleep for long.
Thank you for all the advice and recommendations and I am sorry for the delay in coming back to update.
OP - hope all is well with you and you are continuing to make headway with the feeding routine, boob swapping etc. I am sorry I diverted your thread!
As for me, it all came to a head this weekend and we ended up at A&E last night. The paediatrician was FAB - I could have kissed her
but that would be weird ...she listened, observed, did not dismiss my concerns and seemed really clued up.
So we are on Ranitidine for silent reflux as of this morning. Not a lot has changed but a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders as I was so tired of being fobbed off with bloody effing "is it colic?".
LO is sleeping, and actually self settled for once and I feel more positive. I know it might take a few days to work, or not work, but still - I feel vindicated as I knew something was not right.
Also feel DH is taking my maternal instinct a bit more seriously.
Anyhoo - don't want to take up any more time on OP's thread but if I get a chance will start one re: Ranitidine and CMPI which was also suggested last night. Have ordered a dairy free cook book this morning.
Oh and ps - also getting tongue tie checked as feeds have become ridiculously fussy so thanks for the suggestion upthread.
Thank you all - hugs (don't care if it's Mumsnetty or not)
Oh brilliant mrsspag! I'm so glad your instincts were listened to. I hope things continue to improve
Great news Mrsspagbol. Sorry things had to get dramatic but it looks like it was for the best.
Hope she gets better and continues to self settle!
I'm more than happy for you to divert my thread btw, seems like we're both getting some good advice and support.
That's brilliant OP, as he gets bigger he'll be able to go longer between feeds still. At about 4 months it should be heading to 4hourly as his tummy gets bigger and he can take more at each feed too.
Thanks petals, it is pretty great! Bit of an inconsistent day yesterday but mostly he's still lasting 3 hours. I feel so much better for it.
Roll on 4 months though!
I'm up with my 13 month old who feeds every 2.5 -3 hours now, fourth time since going to bed at 8 -at 3 months there was no in between feeds she would sleep with her mouth on my nipple and swap sides when I turned over, I am amazed by your progress so little, go you :-)
IdaClair forgive me if you have been asked this a hundred times but is she actually taking a full feed each time or is it more like habit and the same times each night? . Is she getting enough solid food? As my LO was cutting down the frequency loads by then, and definitely not having any overnight.
Hi ladies - reading this post is taking me back to the first hateful few months with DD1
I can't recommend this site highly enough to first time mums as it describes typical situations that make you stress yourself stupid and worse still, listen to all the cock and bull theories from well meaning but misguided individuals.
I can also recommend it to second time mums as I found not only had I forgotten a lot of it in the sleep deprived mists of time but also I had a lot more milk (or it felt like it anyway) the second time around, so DD2 had quite a different experience. No less stressful for me
I think one of my biggest lessons learned was to get as much food as reasonably possible into them during the day time to reduce the overnight feeding as much as possible. There was a phase with DD1 where I genuinely was vampira.... Within reason obviously and for the first 6-8 weeks they genuinely don't know night from day and need to feed every 2-3 hrs for the most part.
Thank you for the links Oscar, I'll take a look at them during daylight hours.
I've been trying to feed him during the day but there's only do much he'll take and I don't know how to encourage any more. He had his 6-8 week check today and I did ask the doctor about his feeding but she sort of sidestepped the question. Hopefully the Kelly mom website will have some answers!
Ah - he's only 6-8 weeks. Stomach is still teeny. I have no doubt that it's been the longest 8 weeks of your life, especially if he's had reflux and feeding issues. You just have to find a way to get through it without going mad.
I found it really useful later on when the feeding troubles are a thing of the past but then they suddenly start pulling and tugging and generally being a PITA. It was edifying to find out that a baby will try to increase the flow towards the end of the feed by treating you like a punchbag....
I'm selling bfing to you aren't I
By 12 weeks though, subject to reflux [and I've never had to deal with this so I am not sure if the advice is little and often or regular structured feeds with the meds] issues and weight gain, you should start to see an improvement. They are so much perkier and start to really look at you. You can talk to them and engage even if it is just walking around the garden, showing them the trees. It becomes much more rewarding.
By then, it's a good idea to look at some of the established routines [Gina Ford, Baby Whisperer etc] and see which one you are closest to already/works for you. Just having something you are aiming towards helps immeasurably, not just for you but for people around you when you can articulate your desire to have a 5 min shower so you can get out of the house dressed by 9.30am and actually DO something while the baby gets their first 45 min nap of the day
Hi Soursweets how are you getting on?
Oh my lord, we have had a fantastic night. I took the advice about feeding more during the day, so we fed every hour and a half, from both sides when possible. Through the night he fed at 10pm before I went to bed, and not again until 3am! 5 hours of sleep! Now he's feeding again at 5.20.
I feel so much better! (Unfortunately my boobs aren't used to infrequent feeding so I woke up in a wet milky bed, but whatever, 5 hours!)
He was also knackered as we took him out from 4 to 9 and he slept a little while out but not a huge amount.
I've also found a new way of feeding him in bed which helps hugely with the reflux. I sit upright with my legs apart and hold him with my left hand (if I'm feeding on the left side) by his bottom, with his legs in between my legs, so he's pretty much completely upright. Then I hold him there for a little while afterwards before shifting him around for burping, that seems to help.
If you could like posts on MN, I'd definitely like this! Positioning definitely helps with reflux. Have a look at the 'biological nuturing' position too. I'm so glad you had a better night. Changes your outlook on life, doesn't it?
Oh it so does! I just hope it's not a one off.
We do the biological nursing position (although I didn't know it had a name!) and he does seem better that way too. I think it also helps with my flow which is really fast.
Fed him again at 8 and now he's sleeping again. I'm getting a little worried as he's never slept this well before! Never happy, am I? I did read that at 3 months heh start to sleep better, and he's 9 weeks now so maybe we're building to that?
I have to thank you all again for your advice and support, I eats learn so mug here!
Constant worry, yes! There's a saying 'Sleeps begets sleep' - if he's slept well he's more likely to sleep well again.
What worked for me was setting up the cot with just 3 sides right beside me in the bed. When baby wakes drag them over to boob and then go straight back to sleep. Read up on safe co sleeping to ensure any risks to baby are mitigated and then life gets easier overnight. I had 2 others who were sleeping through by 8 weeks so 'twas a bit of a shock having a non sleeper but minimising the work thAt needed to be done in order to feed made all the difference. It definitely gets easier .
Eats learn so mug? Maybe I wasn't as awake as I thought! *always learn so much.
We tried co sleeping and it definitely made him sleep more quietly but it wasn't really for me, I was always sleeping with one eye open for fear of crushing or suffocating him, so I ended up more exhausted than I was before!
Happy for you Sour!! A decent amount of sleep makes ALL the difference!
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