To be shocked that some people stand up to wipe their bum after going to the loo?

(245 Posts)
apenny4 Wed 25-Sep-13 21:43:39

So I perhaps naively assumed that like me the world and his uncle wipe their bum while sitting down after going to the loo. I can't remember how long ago it was that I discovered a good friend stands up to wipe and has done ever since she was a child. I still find it hard to get my head round - obviously I'm not talking about a wee here.

She was equally shock that I wipe sitting down.

It occasionally pops into my head and I wonder all over again, is it her or is it me, is standing or sitting more usual, or are there just a whole lot of standers and sitters out there, all oblivious to each others habits?

HotCrossPun Wed 25-Sep-13 21:49:02

There was a thread about this before, and loads of people wiped that way.

I cannot get my head around it either. If you are stood up, then your bumcheeks are together. How is an effective wipe possible?

StandingInLine Wed 25-Sep-13 21:49:16

Me and partner both stand up to wipe...He's just asked ,how do you get your hand past the loo seat when you're wiping sat down? lol

Floggingmolly Wed 25-Sep-13 21:59:52

How do you get into a conversation on the optimum way to wipe your arse?

elcranko Wed 25-Sep-13 22:05:05

I'm a sitter. It's never occurred to me to ask anyone else what they do though! grin

zatyaballerina Wed 25-Sep-13 22:06:38

I think fat people have to stand to get in the right position to reach because their size is in the way.

PurpleGirly Wed 25-Sep-13 22:07:55

I'm fat and I don't have to stand ...

Sinful1 Wed 25-Sep-13 22:09:20

How on earth can you reach to do it sitting down? Do you go from.the front.and under or from.behind?

Oh and when standing a little lean.forward and feet apart opens the cheeks :p

Like having sex in.the shower :l

hwjm1945 Wed 25-Sep-13 22:09:20

but surely you have to stand up as it is impossible to wipe from front to back if sitting down? as to bum cheeks being togeher when standing up, you just sort of bend over a bit and they separate!

ICameOnTheJitney Wed 25-Sep-13 22:09:32

But how can you get your arm behind you to wipe front to back if you're sitting?? confused I couldn't do that....when you wipe standing you simply cock your leg slightly thus allowing crack access.

juneybean Wed 25-Sep-13 22:09:34

I'm fat and my arse doesn't cover the entire of the seat so I'm quite able to wipe sitting down.

HopLittleFroggiesHopHopHop Wed 25-Sep-13 22:10:10

I'm thin and I stand. I wouldn't want to put my hand in the toilet!
Did sitters stand as children?
I work in childcare and never seen a child attempt to wipe sitting!

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Wed 25-Sep-13 22:10:20

I think there's some bending and/or knee lifting that might go on so that the paper can reach where it needs to?

smashedhen Wed 25-Sep-13 22:10:23

I'm fat, and I have to stand....

ICameOnTheJitney Wed 25-Sep-13 22:10:25

X posts hwjm maybe these sitting wipers are NOT wiping front to back!! shock do you all get cystitis a lot?

Sinful1 Wed 25-Sep-13 22:10:26

How on earth can you reach to do it sitting down? Do you go from.the front.and under or from.behind?

Oh and when standing a little lean.forward and feet apart opens the cheeks :p

Like having sex in.the shower :l

ShakeRattleNRoll Wed 25-Sep-13 22:10:37

If I was to stand up and wipe mine it would momentarily spread around even further because when you go to stand up it's very difficult getting up without squeezing your bum cheeks togeher thus spreading the poo about and making it more difficult to clean hth

ICameOnTheJitney Wed 25-Sep-13 22:11:13

Smashedhen I'm not fat and I still have to stand! grin I don't think that's it! I want to know you sitters...DO you wipe front to back?

WhiteandGreen Wed 25-Sep-13 22:11:25

I'm normal sized and I stand. Would never have dreamed of doing it any other way. How funny that this is a 'thing'.

juneybean Wed 25-Sep-13 22:11:30

I've never had cystitis either...

juneybean Wed 25-Sep-13 22:12:24

I wipe front to back ....this thread is confusing me

ICameOnTheJitney Wed 25-Sep-13 22:12:27

Shake I don't have enough poo to spread around! shock Mainly when I wipe it comes away clean. There's another question! Standers....do you have a lot of ahem...mess to deal with or not!

[hopes this is not a poo troll thread]

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Wed 25-Sep-13 22:12:37

I'm an advocate of the seated side-swipe.

DragonsAreReal Wed 25-Sep-13 22:12:49

I couldn't imagine standing up to wipe! And I just reach behind and wipe front to back its not hard try it!

Do standees stand up to put tampons in to?

HopLittleFroggiesHopHopHop Wed 25-Sep-13 22:12:51

shake, I tend to do the first wipe 'as I stand up' hth haha!

Tinlegs Wed 25-Sep-13 22:13:05

I try to do a hand stand to allow gravity to separate my bum cheeks because, frankly, sitting down or standing on your feet is, quite honestly, primitive behaviour. However, for those of you who separate your bum cheeks using the hand stand method, do you find it easy to tear off the loo roll with your toes?

WhiteandGreen Wed 25-Sep-13 22:13:09

Are you not reaching your arm into the enclosed poo miasma that hovers above the fetid pan?

ICameOnTheJitney Wed 25-Sep-13 22:13:17

Juney so...do you stick your arm round the back and down then?

HopLittleFroggiesHopHopHop Wed 25-Sep-13 22:14:14

dragons, yes I stand and slightly squat to put tampons in. I thought everyone else did too!

WhiteandGreen Wed 25-Sep-13 22:14:17

Are there poo trolls? shock

juneybean Wed 25-Sep-13 22:14:28

For a pooh, yes I lift up a bumcheek I think and wipe from foof to bum crack.

Hiphopopotamus Wed 25-Sep-13 22:14:30

I am a sitter - I'm genuinely amazed that anyone stands up! Until 3 minutes ago, I never realised that anyone did that!

ICameOnTheJitney Wed 25-Sep-13 22:15:34

White Oh yes! they come on with thinly disguised questions about poo...in order to get us to discuss it! And once, a poo troll pretended to be stuck in a train station toilet having shat herself! AND a Mumsnetter went to her rescue in real life with spare trousers!!

DragonsAreReal Wed 25-Sep-13 22:16:15

I just open my legs and pop one up from the front hop

I always assumed everyone sat down like me for wiping and tampons and such.

ICameOnTheJitney Wed 25-Sep-13 22:17:02

Juney you LIFT your bumcheek! You can't be fat then! I couldn't lift my cheek like that...not comfortably and I'm a size 12...not skinny but not fat either....when you say "lift" do you mean manually? Or do you just lean to one side.

(fascinated)

Myliferocks Wed 25-Sep-13 22:17:02

Another sitter here.
Do the business, lean forward, hand holding toilet roll down the back then wipe from front to back.
It's how I taught my DC as well.
I never knew people stand to wipe after a poo.

juneybean Wed 25-Sep-13 22:17:17

I sit down for tampons too....perhaps I'm just a lazy cow who can't be arsed to spend more time on feet than necessary.

ICameOnTheJitney Wed 25-Sep-13 22:17:44

dragons I place one foot on the bath for tampons...just like I read in the instructions as a teen! blush

juneybean Wed 25-Sep-13 22:18:09

Haha just lean to the left and wipe with the right. May have to do an instructional video.

piratecat Wed 25-Sep-13 22:18:49

i am ample of the rear and sit and reach round and front to back. its simple. never thought about standing.

ICameOnTheJitney Wed 25-Sep-13 22:18:50

It's like nothing I've ever encountered!

Thewhingingdefective Wed 25-Sep-13 22:19:02

Surely the standers/standees don't stand fully upright? Wouldn't it be more a raise bottom up off seat but stand with knees bent?

I think I am a sitter, but lean forwards as if to stand, thus allowing easy wiping access at the rear. No hand down toilet pan required.

IneedAyoniNickname Wed 25-Sep-13 22:20:42

I have a maid who wipes for me, and another one who puts my tampons in...

No in reality I stand for both.

juneybean Wed 25-Sep-13 22:21:05

And whoever asked, when I was a child I used to stick my bum in the air and wait for my mam to wipe. Not sure she would be too pleased if I did that now...

DragonsAreReal Wed 25-Sep-13 22:21:09

Yes I lean forward and never realised until I sat up
And mimicked what I do to be able to comment on what I do. LOL this is a funny thread.

HesterShaw Wed 25-Sep-13 22:22:31

I'm a stander.

Until I joined MN it didn't occur to me there was another way or that anyone would be sad enough to care less about how another person wipes their arse

JamEyelid Wed 25-Sep-13 22:24:19

Sitter, I never thought that people might stand. Odd!

I'm an advocate of the seated side-swipe.

Me too.

Seated is best for Tampon and mooncup removal too. Standing can lead to accidental flickage.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Wed 25-Sep-13 22:29:22

Oh don't talk to me about flickage!

<awaits hysterectomy patiently>

DoJo Wed 25-Sep-13 22:32:21

I didn't realise that people stood until I discovered that my husband does and still don't really understand how it works. Surely sitting gives you optimal access? Also, surely that's why loo roll holders are always at sitting height rather than further up the wall?

People stand to wipe their arse??!!?!?!?

I can't get my head around this

Sit on toilet
Poo
Get paper (fold)
Reach around
Then wipe from front to back
Stand up pulling knickers up

is this not how everyone does it?

AtiaoftheJulii Wed 25-Sep-13 22:36:00

I converted my dh from standing to sitting.

bludgerwitch Wed 25-Sep-13 22:37:00

I stand, and it's not messy. Asked DH and he stands, as well.

And yes, I also stand to put tampons in, with a foot up on the toilet seat as described in the manual. nods

oohdaddypig Wed 25-Sep-13 22:38:23

<best thread of the day>

I have accidentally touched too many seats of public toilets with my knuckles. So I stand in public loos but sit down at home.

I can't believe that after three decades of bum wiping I actively had to think about this.

Sitting definitely requires a forward bending action to reveal crack to hand. And I'm thin.

dementedma Wed 25-Sep-13 22:39:21

I never knew people did this sitting down!
And of course you stand to put in a tampon....<baffled emoticon>
I have just quizzed dh, who after much muttering and tutting, says he wipes when sitting. Well, bugger me. Who knew?

Buddhagirl Wed 25-Sep-13 22:39:33

I've often wondered bout this! damn I love mumsnet.

I would not want to put my hand in the pan, might accidentally touch the sides. Ugh.

I also wee wipe standing up.legs apart obviously.

Charotte31 Wed 25-Sep-13 22:43:16

I can't believe there is a thread about this, gross!!

HereIsMee Wed 25-Sep-13 22:44:03

I have never thought about I just deal with it depending on what suits me best. I'm very curious about how or why you even had such a conversation. My life will never be the same since reading this. Lol

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Wed 25-Sep-13 22:49:47

Ooddaddypig you sit in a public loo?

<faints>

apenny4 Wed 25-Sep-13 22:53:54

Honestly not a poo troll, nor can I tell you how it came up in the conversation with my friend, we just sort of stumbled onto discussing it, and then spent a good while discussing it with total incredulity that the other one used their particular method! It's so good to see people's responses are similar (the disbelief of the opposite method).

I think it's one of those things parents pass to their dc, certainly I taught DCs the same method I use (the lean to the left and always front to back whilst seated - the idea of standing up with an unwiped bum seems so weird, like how I imagine it would feel to go out of the front door with no clothes on!).

It never occurred to me to check and see if another thread already existed, but clearly lots of people are learning something new tonight grin.

Thanks for all the responses, I've totally got the giggles reading them!

MrsMook Wed 25-Sep-13 22:54:04

Mainly standing. I like to check hydration levels. I wipe each half seperately.

I stand for tampons too. Pre-DCs, I needed my hips open as far as possible to get one in, posibly with a raised leg squat. No way could I have done that sitting. Not had to use one since a baby used the main exit to make a comparison.

DaleyBump Wed 25-Sep-13 22:55:06

People actually stand up to wipe?! I didn't even know this was a thing! Apparently DP does it too, I'm going to have to LTB.

StarfishTrooper Wed 25-Sep-13 22:55:41

This thread is amazing. I am going to have to weave this into a lot of conversations. It never occurred to me that anyone would do anything other than the side-swipe cheek lift...

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Wed 25-Sep-13 23:00:32

I'd hve thought men would have to stand up. Surely there'd be too much dangle-age in the way if they were seated?

oohdaddypig Wed 25-Sep-13 23:02:56

Oh.....oh...

How does anyone poo hovering above a public loo seat? Would that not cause hideous splash issues?

Unless accompanied by a simultaneous rocket launch of bum?

KingCrimson Wed 25-Sep-13 23:03:40

So if you wipe sitting down, do you just drop the paper straight down the loo without looking at it? If so, how can you tell when to stop wiping?

apenny4 Wed 25-Sep-13 23:03:49

And you don't have to sit on a public toilet, just hover and wipe while hovering!

When dd sometimes jumps up after a wee having forgotten to wipe, it trickles down her legs.

Standers must sometimes do both (wees & poos), so do the standers wipe their 'ginas (favourite term used by dd for the vajayjay (my favoutrite term which I heard on Grey's anatomy)) before standing or do you risk the trickle ... so many questions grin but am up at 6 so should be crashing really!

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Wed 25-Sep-13 23:06:37

A couple of sheets over the water in a loo prevent backsplash.

HTH

hmc Wed 25-Sep-13 23:07:22

Nooo daddypig - nobody is suggesting standing to take a poo, merely standing to wipe which is an entirely different ball game

hmc Wed 25-Sep-13 23:09:20

Re-read, oh err perhaps the suggestion of standing for a poo has been mooted. Confused now confused, bed calls

apenny4 Wed 25-Sep-13 23:10:45

No of course sitters check the paper (well speaking for myself at least) - drop first, check second etc!

MajesticWhine Wed 25-Sep-13 23:13:05

Jeez only on mumsnet.
I am a standerupper. But I'm going to check exact technique in the morning after breakfast.
DH is a sitter, and I am very sorry to have witnessed this.

BreconBeBuggered Wed 25-Sep-13 23:16:08

The critical factor is the geography of the bathroom. A conveniently-positioned toilet roll holder will allow the operational hand easy access to both roll and arse, in which case the sitting wipe can be deployed. A less thoughtful site for the paper requires the wiper to stand.

Weeing requires a predictable number of sheets, meaning an experienced wiper can have the paper ready for a sitting wipe before emptying her bladder, thus avoiding the risk of the trickle effect.

hmc Wed 25-Sep-13 23:16:22

I don't care how you all wipe but I would like to know who uses moist toilet tissue alongside regular toilet tissue in order to get 'hygienically clean'

EBearhug Wed 25-Sep-13 23:19:05

I sit. (Though obviously now I think about it, I'm having doubts, as it's not something I actually tend to think about, so as I'm not doing it, I'm not sure... But I do know I had to remind myself I'd been eating beetroot, and I probably don't actually have some fatal disease.)

But I don't always sit. I have travelled a fair bit, and if you're using squat loos, or a long drop you've had to dig yourself... TBH, if I'm using those, I'm probably thinking more about if my knees are going to hold out. And a couple of weeks ago, I was on holiday somewhere with compost loos, and I had to stand, because it was a high seat and a bit too far for my legs to reach the floor when I sat, and I didn't feel stable. (Apparently I am the first person to say it's posh, but I said, "I'd been told to expect basic, but we don't have to dig our own loos, or even empty the compost bins. And there's running water from the taps, which we don't have to collect from the river or sterilise first. So it's not that basic." Not had many 5 star hotels in my life...)

I have had a conversation with a friend about whether one folds or crumples the paper before wiping. In the pub. As you do. It followed on from the way he very neatly folded up an empty crisp packet into a small triangle.

WildThongsHeartString Wed 25-Sep-13 23:20:07

I didn't even know sitters existed. I'm a stander and always have been.
I wipe in a circular motion grin if you're at all interested.

Clearlymisunderstood Wed 25-Sep-13 23:22:21

I was reading this thread sat on the toilet so for the record I sit. I wipe the front and then lift my arse up slightly on one side and wipe the back.
HTH

oohdaddypig Wed 25-Sep-13 23:28:43

This thread has been truly life changing.

All I can say is DON'T LAUGH during your morning crap tomorrow as you go through the ^ motions^

Catsize Wed 25-Sep-13 23:33:41

Will have to conduct a scientific exoeriment tomorrow and stand. Perhaps we should all try the opposite way and report back. Could make a national day of it. Was going to potty train my son to sit down, but will be more open-minded now. Thank you Mumsnet!

TheBuskersDog Wed 25-Sep-13 23:35:53

How on earth do you wipe in a circular motion, surely that would spread it around?

Another sitter, it never occurred to me that anyone apart from small children stood up.

FlapJackFlossie Wed 25-Sep-13 23:39:19

Have been wiping back to front for 60 odd years and never had cystitis !
AND it's sitting down.

The only time I stood was in a portaloo and I found out, after the remainder of 2 hours travelling time, that there was a very squashed lump half way down the leg of my trousers. The consequences of standing up !!!

MmmmWhiteWine Wed 25-Sep-13 23:49:28

All our family are "standers". Can't see how you can get a good enough wipe sitting down....weird ;-)

Sinful1 Wed 25-Sep-13 23:59:30

The next question is do you sold your paper neatly, or do you just use a scrunched was of it

MmeLindor Thu 26-Sep-13 00:01:58

I am laughing at all the men being asked tonight 'Do you stand to wipe your bum?', who then roll their eyes and mutter, 'That bloody Mumsnet!)

I discovered recently that DH is folder, as is DS. DD and I are both crumplers.

ie boys in the family are the tidy Germans, the girls are scatty Scots.

soapboxqueen Thu 26-Sep-13 00:42:58

I can't remember now but I definitely fold the papergrin

LittleTulip Thu 26-Sep-13 01:18:28

shock at the amount of people that wipe standing up!

I don't get it, it's surely not necessary to stand up???

LittleTulip Thu 26-Sep-13 01:19:06

Ok just asked DH and he is a stander upper. Whatttt it's a revelation

HungryHorace Thu 26-Sep-13 02:20:00

Sit for wiping, stand for tampon. I didn't know people stood up. I'll have to ask DH when he wakes up how he does it!

And I'm also confused at a circular motion. How on earth does that not create more problems than it solves?!

MooseBeTimeForSnow Thu 26-Sep-13 03:52:49

This thread has made me smile for the first time today, thanks!

I'm a folder and a sitter.

Did I once read somewhere that Germans like toilets with a "shelf" in them, so they can inspect before they flush?

LadyDowagerHatt Thu 26-Sep-13 04:45:22

Shocked that people sit! How do sitters check what they have wiped (to know how much more wiping is required) - do you bring poohy paper round the front and drop into toilet between legs or put in at the back? For me that is the reason to stand - no passing poohy paper so close to the body (I am clumsy!) or contorting myself to look behind whilst sitting!

Just when you thought the tone couldn't be lowered any further!

DragonsAreReal Thu 26-Sep-13 06:39:31

I have just stood up to wipe and a trickle of wee has made it's way down. Not trying standing up again <boak>.

LittleRobots Thu 26-Sep-13 06:43:54

I thought only small children stood! I'd have thought there'd be the chance to drip if you stood? (obviously not as lots of people do it - but as another poster said, standing without having wiped would feel like opening the door with no clothes on - just wouldn't do it!)

(is this why some people leave drips at the front of toilet seats? I never understood that either)

LittleRobots Thu 26-Sep-13 06:44:26

Ah cross post with dragon! Exactly what I feared!

Lazyjaney Thu 26-Sep-13 07:01:13

I suspect it depends on how big you are.

CrohnicallyLurking Thu 26-Sep-13 07:06:39

I am a sitter. Lean forward and slightly to the side, wipe front to back, peek at paper, drop paper in at the back of the toilet, and repeat. The leaning allows plenty of hand access without needing to put your hand actually in the toilet, and spreads your arse cheeks nicely.

Apparently DH stands, I have known for a while before this thread though! He 'can't reach' to do it sitting down.

One last confession- I have been known to use moist toilet paper, it really is easier to get yourself squeaky clean! Baby wipes are much cheaper and smell nicer though. You'll be pleased to know I don't flush them- we have a lidded bin in the bathroom. Wish my neighbours were as considerate (recurring communal plumbing problems due to inappropriate things being flushed).

SHarri13 Thu 26-Sep-13 07:26:33

I sit but can't understand why people can't imagine it. It's the same as if your standing but your sitting down. Maybe the standers have short arms?

apenny4 Thu 26-Sep-13 07:50:27

Oh more hilarity reading all the new posts - so glad I started this thread grin

As for fold or crumple, well I've seen the results when a crumpled sheet suddenly springs open (poor dd), so it's fold all the way for us.

And as for the moist toilet tissue or baby wipe issue that some people have raised all I can say is if you've never used a wet wipe for the final 'polish' try it - you might be shocked to see you are not as clean as you thought you were (apologies if that's TMI!).

I have to add my input here as I think I was responsible for the original stand/sit thread. My DH accused me of wiping DS like a girl because I was doing it with him sat down (imo the correct way wink ) and that boys (in his incorrect opinion) did it stood up so I started thread to ask. I found out it wasn't a boy/girl thing but loads of people stand up to wipe. I must say that my pearls were clutched and my face was shock!

Having studied my technique this morning I can report that not only do I sit, I also lean slightly forward and to the left so my fat arse is lifted and I don't have to put my hand in the toilet.

And don't knock a moist toilet roll till you try it!! grin

shewhowines Thu 26-Sep-13 08:18:36

How the hell do you put a tampon in sitting down? Your hand must be right in the toilet bowl to get the correct angle.

Im a stander too. I have tried both ways but always revert to the way I was taught. Both are equally successful , but standing just seems more "right".

SamHamwidge Thu 26-Sep-13 08:26:11

Have always sat, but the way I wipe has changed since I got fat. Used to wipe from behind and lean forward but that broke the toilet and now it's wonky so now go through the front, which is actually better as you get a better reach as bumcheeks further apart.

Definitely standing for tampons though, you need to get enough space in the fanjo, too squashed when sitting.

Folded not scrunched.

ohmymimi Thu 26-Sep-13 08:30:05

Just off to try the sitting down method. Will report back.

ohmymimi Thu 26-Sep-13 08:33:54

Nope, a stander I remain. I must either not be very bendy, or have v short arms and long body, I felt like a contortionist trying to wipe seated.

ohmymimi Thu 26-Sep-13 08:38:47

PS - I'm a folder and wet wipe user (as the occasion demands).

Pps - anyone who wipes back to front and has never had a urinary tract infection has been v lucky.

samu2 Thu 26-Sep-13 08:50:39

I stand.

Also stand to remove and put in mooncup.

birdmomma Thu 26-Sep-13 09:14:06

Folder and a sitter. Why would anyone wipe standing? And of course front to back! And I never touch the loo - eww. And of course I check the paper. Seriously standers, try it!

birdmomma Thu 26-Sep-13 09:15:05

PS, if you try it, your arm goes down the back, not through your legs. Top tip.

WallaceWindsock Thu 26-Sep-13 09:42:11

We all sit in this house. I have horrid visions of poo flying everywhere when standing! Especially if one has had a dicky tummy. Surely you don't stand then? There'd be drippage. shock
That's WHY you sit. It keeps everything in the toilet bowl. When you wipe lots of non visible particles of poo are swept about. If standing they are going to get swept about onto walls, floor and your clothes. Remaining seated keeps it all in the toilet. It's also far easier to get at everything.

Also agree about moist toilet paper. When you wipe with just loo roll and it comes away clean just for a trial grab a wet wipe and wipe with that. You will be appalled at how not clean the wipe comes away. Always always use it in this house, there's a pack in every bathroom.

sparechange Thu 26-Sep-13 09:47:30

I'm normal-sized, and I stand.
My pet hate is automatic flushing toilets, which flush when you stand up, because I haven't wiped or put the tissue down the loo, so have to flush twice.
I thought because of this design 'flaw', it was less-usual to be a standing wiper..!

irregularegular Thu 26-Sep-13 09:52:56

i don't even know what I do !!! I'm desperately trying to visualise, but I think I might need to go to the loo to try it. I think I raise a bit of the seat, but don't stand fully straight.

VenusDeWillendorf Thu 26-Sep-13 09:57:41

I love my bidet!

MajesticWhine Thu 26-Sep-13 09:59:23

re. automatic flush, I don't mind that, I often flush twice anyway. Have you not heard of a courtesy flush? Gets rid of the smell before you get into the wiping. I can't honestly believe I am discussing this. ffing poo trolls.

HesterShaw Thu 26-Sep-13 10:06:39

I would be appalled?

No I wouldn't. And I have better things to spend my hard earned cash on than "moist toilet paper".

How do you get your arm into the loo if the loo seat is covered by your arse?

HesterShaw Thu 26-Sep-13 10:07:42

And all these wet wipe users, I hope you're not flushing them down the loo?

IneedAyoniNickname Thu 26-Sep-13 10:12:50

I buy wet wipes for ds2, t seems to be the only way he gets properly clean, short of using half a toilet roll at a time. And he flushes them, they say flushable on them.

MajesticWhine Thu 26-Sep-13 10:25:32

Having reported last night that I am a stander, I have now ahem, checked the method and actually I am a sitter. Can't believe I didn't know how I wipe my own arse.

Snatchoo Thu 26-Sep-13 10:27:39

I stand, always have done, always will.

IneedaYoni you're only supposed to flush one at a time as they clog and don't disintegrate.

TiggyD Thu 26-Sep-13 10:36:02

It's what you have staff for.

IneedAyoniNickname Thu 26-Sep-13 10:43:26

As far as I know he only uses one wet wipe. That's certainly what I told him to do!

shewhowines Thu 26-Sep-13 10:49:11

As regards dripping. I wipe my fanjo sitting down then stand up to wipe behind. If diarrhoea then a quick initial wipe half standing over loo then resume normal service standing up.

squoosh Thu 26-Sep-13 10:53:30

Standing to wipe one's arse is very fucking weird.

squoosh Thu 26-Sep-13 10:55:33

You must all have filthy arse holes. Ugh.

mrsfuzzy Thu 26-Sep-13 10:56:26

bloody hell, what a subject!!!

CoffeeChocolateWine Thu 26-Sep-13 10:59:13

This is hilarious!

I'm a sitter and also never knew people stood to wipe until I found out that my DH does. I don't understand people who say "how on earth can you reach?" How short are your arms?? Or did I not realise that I have unusually long arms?? How can you not reach?? confused

After a wee, I go from the front and under to wipe front to back; after a poo, I lean to the side very slightly and go from behind and wipe front to back.

I thought it was so strange seeing my DH standing up to wipe...I thought there was something endearingly childlike about it, I don't know why. I thought the vast majoirty of adults were sitters. Clearly, I am wrong!

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Thu 26-Sep-13 11:02:39

You shouldn't flush moist paper /wipes one at a time. You shouldn't flush them at all! (v long thread on this very subject recently)

I sit for a quick wipe and then stand for a polish. Wipe perineum to front/perineum to back. Can't contort myself to do the whole lot in one swipe.

DirtyBurger Thu 26-Sep-13 11:07:39

I feel a tiny bit sick! I lean forward very slightly while sitting. No to standing...think of all that poo debris escaping!

ShowOfHands Thu 26-Sep-13 11:15:51

I too don't understand all the 'how do you reach' questions from standers. Exactly the same as how you reach if you're standing I presume. My arm to body ratio remains the same whether I sit or stand, in fact, I slouch more if I sit so my arms are presumably nearer the goal iyswim.

I suppose stander uppers just carried on how they did it as small children. Children stand up because their feet don't tend to touch the floor and wiping upsets their balance and they feel like they're falling in. I always assumed most people managed it sitting down once their feet touched the floor at about age 7. Clearly some people are still leaping up and prancing round the bathroom aged 37. I genuinely can't see why you would stand up to wipe when you don't have to.

But I suppose it's habit. It's like the difference between fastening your bra at the front and twisting or putting it on and fastening it at the back. You just get used to the way you do it.

HesterShaw Thu 26-Sep-13 13:03:42

They may say flushable. Just remember that next time you start frothing about them on a beach or in a river.

And another thing. I kind of always thought (not admittedly, that I have given it MUCH thought) that a healthy person does not normally "drip poo" confused

HesterShaw Thu 26-Sep-13 13:06:15

And ANOTHER another thing! How do you know how your husband's and life partners wipe their bum? Please don't tell me you are in the room while the other takes a dump!

Gruntfuttock Thu 26-Sep-13 13:08:18

ShowOfHands What on earth makes you think that the "standers" are "leaping up and prancing round the bathroom aged 37"? There is a difference between simply standing in the same spot and leaping up and prancing about.

thebody Thu 26-Sep-13 13:10:58

what goes on in the bog stays in the bog.

just a hint!

miffybun73 Thu 26-Sep-13 13:11:17

I am not fat and I stand.

I didn't realise that anyone wiped whilst sitting on the loo !

Sparklymommy Thu 26-Sep-13 13:12:25

What a very odd subject! Haha.

I actually don't know how I wipe m own bum! Am off to discover the answer to this... Will report back!

harticus Thu 26-Sep-13 13:14:37

I used to be a stander.
Then my knee gave out and now I sit.
I could never be a squatter.

IceBeing Thu 26-Sep-13 13:15:13

OMG. People wipe sitting down?!?!?!

and tampons?

I ...er..I...OMG.

Sparklymommy Thu 26-Sep-13 13:16:57

I am a sitting down front to back wiper.

You learn something new every day!

HesterShaw Thu 26-Sep-13 13:24:43

Oh. Do other people NOT dance a jig post poo?

I'm a sitter, (I knew some people stood but decided not to delve.) front to back wiper and I also sit for tampons.

Why does it matter as long as your clean.

Don't flush wipes they clog the sewers up and some poor sod has to go and unclog it.

squoosh Thu 26-Sep-13 13:30:50

I'm horrified at the amount of standing wipers.

BionicEmu Thu 26-Sep-13 13:32:33

shock Some people don't wipe until they're stood up?! And so many people seem to do it that way shock

My family & I all wipe sitting down. It had never crossed my mind that anybody wouldn't do it this way.

My mind is totally blown shock

Gruntfuttock Thu 26-Sep-13 13:35:46

BionicEmu you say "My family & I all wipe sitting down." How do you know that? I have no idea what my husband and my daughter do and I'm not going to ask them.

cuteboots Thu 26-Sep-13 13:36:05

LMAO at this thread! How the hell can you put a tampon in sitting down??

ICameOnTheJitney Thu 26-Sep-13 13:36:31

I know Cute! shock

mrsdowneyjnr Thu 26-Sep-13 13:36:49

I feel a bit anxious after reading this. You sit, simple. Standing is just wrong and Also fold don't scrunch. And what's more it's a scon not scone.

HesterShaw Thu 26-Sep-13 13:41:21

Are you squoosh? Are you scandalized? grin

Sindarella Thu 26-Sep-13 13:41:53

I'm going to try standing up next time i go. See what all the fuss is about!

HesterShaw Thu 26-Sep-13 13:42:31

Personally I'm a little taken aback at the number of posters who say they know how their family does it.

Taking a mooncup out stood up? Is that not rather messy?

Branleuse Thu 26-Sep-13 13:45:33

people do stuff in different ways to each other????

ORLY?

Gruntfuttock Thu 26-Sep-13 13:46:34

HesterShaw me too, but then I know from reading this board that lots of people are happy to use the loo while another family member is in the bath. Not just parents and children but couples too, so I suppose that's one reason why they would know. Others would have had to ask. I have never done either so I haven't got a clue about my family and frankly I couldn't care less.

ShowOfHands Thu 26-Sep-13 13:46:42

Gruntfuttock, my reference to people leaping up and prancing around aged 37 was the use of hyperbole to express how strange I find the very idea of standing up to wipe. It wasn't a true implication, merely me trying to use language to express how ridiculous the idea seems to me as a lifelong sitter. I am one of those people who didn't know that adults stand up to wipe. I know children do it. I know why children do it. I know through caring for a few people that every adult I have ever encountered in that situation, sits. I always assumed adults sit down to wipe.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Thu 26-Sep-13 13:47:01

I sit down for a poo and stand up and crouch for tampons. So there!

Can't believe I just wrote that....

ModernToss Thu 26-Sep-13 13:47:24

surely that's why loo roll holders are always at sitting height rather than further up the wall?

Excellent point. Sit, of course. I am amazed that all adults don't sit. As for 'How do you reach?', your arse is the same distance away whether you're standing or sitting.

If I didn't change tampons sitting down then it would look like a horror movie in the bathroom.

Sindarella Thu 26-Sep-13 14:05:36

I know how my dp does it because he leaves the door open, dirty git that he is. As do dc, well 6yo, i'm still changing ds2 nappies.

CoffeeChocolateWine Thu 26-Sep-13 15:44:30

Ha ha, yep I'm often in the bathroom having a shower in the mornings while DH is doing his business on the loo! That's not normal married couple behaviour then?! Well, he takes ages on the loo...if I wasn't getting ready at the same time I'd never get out of the house on time in the morning! Doesn't bother either of us...and I'm smelling nice shower gel smells rather than his not-so-nice smells!

GatoradeMeBitch Thu 26-Sep-13 16:37:06

Ah! See, now I understand how 'poo crumbs' come about!

HesterShaw Thu 26-Sep-13 17:04:43

If I didn't change tampons sitting down then it would look like a horror movie in the bathroom.

Hovering is your answer.

I've just asked my DH and he sits to wipe too. He's baffled and slightly disgusted by standers.

RinkyDinkyDoo Thu 26-Sep-13 19:27:48

I made an effort to remember/record/analyse my wiping style today. I've had 2 poos, get me!
My findings were thus:
I mainly sit, lift my right but tock and wipe front to back using my right hand, BUT, I encountered a forever wipe ( you know what I mean ) on my second poo and found I needed to stand, facing the loo, squat slightly and have a right good wiping session.
I am a sitter and stander.

Hester thanks for the advice, I think I've mastered it now. smile

littlemisssarcastic Thu 26-Sep-13 19:40:17

I'm more surprised at how many people I know who wipe back to front and always have done.
I wipe sitting.
Just seems a bit wrong to wipe standing. That's what children do isn't it?

littlemisssarcastic Thu 26-Sep-13 19:41:43

Wiping wee and changing tampons are both done semi sitting IYSWIM.

marriedinwhiteisback Thu 26-Sep-13 19:42:49

I'm amazed at the number of sitters but then all of us are s*itters. For the first time ever I think I have sprayed wine over the computer screen grin. Hilarious thread.

Catsize Thu 26-Sep-13 19:47:53

Was going to conduct scientific study and stand today but just felt so very very wrong. Doesn't seem as hygienic. Apologies for failing science.

Dunkintea Thu 26-Sep-13 21:24:56

another stander here !
Now I know why there are so many broken toilet seats around though - if all these people are sitting down lifting one arse cheek to try and wipe

squoosh Thu 26-Sep-13 21:40:28

That's the whole point, or 'hole' point should I say, when you're sitting down your bum cheeks are parted, ready and inviting you to wipe.

Standing up to wipe seems infinitely muckier.

MutantAndProud Thu 26-Sep-13 21:51:06

I sit! I'm taken aback at how many standers there. And have also found out to my astonishment that DH is a stander. Goodness me!

I also fold. I stand with my leg up on the seat to insert a tampon.

Will try the moist toilet tissue thing though.

Do standers often dribble wee on the seat then? That grosses me out.

jocastafantastica Thu 26-Sep-13 22:01:20

I would be a dead woman if he ever knew I had shared this on a forum, but when my DP was working in the desert, because he couldn't bear the thought of crapping in a self dug hole in the sand, he trained himself to poo into a small cardboard box used in the work they were doing, he said approx the size of a child's shoebox, then hid it by his caravan so he could bury it when it was dark! How is that for self control!

DaleyBump Thu 26-Sep-13 22:05:45

I tried standing today. Heavily pregnant. Fell over.

DaleyBump Thu 26-Sep-13 22:06:18

Standing to wipe, not just standing in general.

dementedma Thu 26-Sep-13 22:27:20

Stunned by how many people k ow what family members do. Do you all watch each other I'm the bog? Also genuinely want to throw up that people allow other family'members to use the loo while someone is in the bath. (Small child emergencies excepted). So gross and disrespectful to bathee

Fragglewump Thu 26-Sep-13 22:30:05

I thought I was a stander.......but I'm not.... I sit....lean slightly forward to wipe and.......job done!

EBearhug Thu 26-Sep-13 22:47:11

I was tempted to conduct a survey at work, as our department is split over a number of countries, and I wonder if there are cultural/national differences. I chickened out though. And I suspect if might also put off the newbies I have been training if I added a question or two about toilet habits to the bottom of the feedback forms. Although it would make it one of the more memorable feedback forms they've ever answered...

Dubjackeen Thu 26-Sep-13 22:56:31

Suffering a bit of insomnia last night, this thread made me laugh so much. I had to think about it, defo a sitter!

Dubjackeen Thu 26-Sep-13 22:59:59

Just to add, I cannot imagine having this conversation with anyone!

Nottalotta Thu 26-Sep-13 23:28:04

Just been for a trial run. I sit to wipe. Lean only very slightly forward, hand is not in toilet bowl but just above.

Sit to wipe wee also, i had got into the habit of starting to stand then wiping but this resulted in drops of wee on front of seat.

As for tampons - remove sitting, have a good squeeze (to try to expel anything loitering there) good wipe thenI semi stand to inset new tampon. Jesus. Way TMI...

HesterShaw Thu 26-Sep-13 23:30:44

Do standers often dribble wee on the seat then? That grosses me out.

No. Because, here's the thing: we wait until we have finished weeing before we stand!!!!! I know! So clever!

MutantAndProud Thu 26-Sep-13 23:50:38

No need to be snarky hestershaw, there was a reason for asking that.

After finishing weeing you can sometimes dribble. When my Dd stands up after finishing a wee before she wipes it can dribble down her leg, hence why I thought standers may be more prone to dribbling on the seat.

DoJo Fri 27-Sep-13 00:30:51

And another lighthearted thread descends into bitchiness and sniping. Shame, I was hoping this would be the subject of the next 38 Degrees campaign...

DaleyBump Fri 27-Sep-13 00:32:47

<sighs>

<hands everyone a grip>

<leaves>

LittleRobots Fri 27-Sep-13 06:16:06

Ah so it is the reason there's sometimes a dribble on seats.

coraltoes Fri 27-Sep-13 06:39:13

Leaves? Daleybump? We should wipe with leaves?!;)

WahIzzit Fri 27-Sep-13 07:13:46

Another 'sitter' here, and agree with those who say droplets of wee can fall onto toilet/floor/down leg.Esp if u have pubic hair! So for that reason more hygienic to sit I think. But obviously not practical for everyone depending on size of toilet.. etc.

WahIzzit Fri 27-Sep-13 07:24:31

Oh just remembered a time when dh was in the bath and I desperately needed have a no.2. Eventually I couldn't wait any longer so had to barge in. Dh was fine with letting me but then realised how disgusting the sight/smell was of somebody having a shite and started to barf and nearly vomited grin fwiw I would be the same with dh using the loo, esp because his poos stink the entire house out!

shewhowines Fri 27-Sep-13 09:26:48

Wipe wee sitting down, then stand to do the back end deed. No drips on seat. But how do you open legs far enough to insert tampn. My knickers (around knees) get in the way. Do people really have knickers around their ankles? shock I thought that was just kids.

FCEK Fri 27-Sep-13 09:31:09

I sit, DD stands. Not that I give a sh*t see what I did there as long as its clean

I can't work out the logistics of standing, although I stand to wipe after a wee and for mooncup insertion.

ebwy Fri 27-Sep-13 12:10:01

lean to the side, use opposite hand to wipe front to back.
no need to stand at all.

Mojavewonderer Fri 27-Sep-13 14:11:29

I am a stander for both but will try sitting next time smile

Whereisegg Fri 27-Sep-13 14:35:47

I was reading through classics and read of a lady that pulled her tampon out at in-laws, and it flicked blood all over the floor and bathroom door.
At the time I thought it was odd but I never made the. Connection that she had managed this because people are so strange as to stand up when they insert/remove tampons and to wipe after a poo.
Madness!

HotCrossPun Fri 27-Sep-13 14:54:44

I now understand why some people thing they need moist toilet tissues. If people are standing up to wipe then arse you would need to bend forward fully for your arse cheeks to open enough for you to wipe properly.

So much faffing.

HotCrossPun Fri 27-Sep-13 14:56:23

And tampons are much easier sitting too. Just pull your trousers/tights passed your knees, open your knees and pop it in. If you stand up then you would have to put your leg on something or squat. Tis madness!

GatoradeMeBitch Fri 27-Sep-13 14:58:18

Oh no! I sit down to wipe but moist tissue/wipes are good for BMs. You wouldn't wipe poo off your hands with dry tissue for obvious reasons, same goes for your bum. I went to school with a girl who had to have a shower after a bowel movement, her whole family had that policy!

Pendeen Fri 27-Sep-13 15:24:53

Did the OP ever answer the question "how on earth did you get into this converstation in the first place????"

HotCrossPun Fri 27-Sep-13 15:42:46

Gatorade That reminds me of a really weird ex I had. I always wondered why he took so long in the bathroom. It transpired that he would jump in the shower with his top half still clothes and jet wash his bum with the shower head after every poo.

I was horrified when we were booking a cruise and he got the agent to go and double check that there was a handheld shower head in the cabin, and explained in detail the reason why he wanted to know. blush

I'm in the raise-my-bum-off-the-seat-slightly-and-wipe-squatted camp.

I know it has been explained over and over but I still don't understand how you can reach behind you seated without accidentally touching the seat or bowl with your hands fairly often?

Just no. I squat. I am short though, which probably makes a difference - my legs offer no leverage whatsoever while I am seated.

haggisaggis Fri 27-Sep-13 15:57:29

THis has got me remembering when I visited a manufacturing company and needed to use their loos - there were bidets in the toilet cubicles. (and the company made.....toilet paper!)

lucjam Fri 27-Sep-13 16:03:50

My dh insists on standing and consequently he flicks poo on the wall behind him. It's drives me up the fucking wall. Sit down shit belongs in the loo not on the wall. Ugh. Standing is disgusting.

squoosh Fri 27-Sep-13 16:09:10

HE FLICKS POO ON THE WALL BEHIND HIM??

I'm sorry lucjam, but he has to go.

GatoradeMeBitch Fri 27-Sep-13 16:16:02

I hope you don't clean up after him OP. I would be tempted to rub his nose in it!

GatoradeMeBitch Fri 27-Sep-13 16:16:27

lucjam not OP. Gah, I shouldn't be on forums when I'm ill...

lucjam Fri 27-Sep-13 16:19:51

Oh don't you worry he cleans it as soon as I see it then he gets a gobfull about how disgusting he is and how I'm never going to shag him ever again.

PhallicGiraffe Fri 27-Sep-13 16:20:40

I remember being a stander as a kid, and I was probably about 7 when I realised what a superior method a sitting-wipe was. Firstly your butt-cheeks are further apart when sat, so you can give the arse-crack a much more thorough wipe. Also with a particularly messy poo, you can give it a really good rub and then just let it go straight into the toilet. There's no rouge bits of poo escaping onto the floor or your clothes, and you know that as soon as you stand, you can be confident that you are nice and clean.
All hail the sitter-wipers, you are superior.

P.s. I'm also a folder.

EBearhug Fri 27-Sep-13 20:57:15

Talking of rouge bits of poo...

Beetroot. Not a fatal disease. But I have started a little panic more than once, till I remember when I've been eating recently.

HesterShaw Fri 27-Sep-13 22:39:16

Rouge? <boggles> Surely beetroot is kind of purple rather than rouge?

squoosh Fri 27-Sep-13 22:40:56

Guinness poo is the one that scares people into thinking they're dying.

this thread grin

DH a stander. I am a sitter. We were both as genuinely gobsmacked as each other that there is two ways to wipe a bottom.

EBearhug Sat 28-Sep-13 14:54:04

Beetroot is mostly purple, but it doesn't always come out exactly the same as it went in. It is more red then.

KatyC1988 Tue 17-Jun-14 16:22:09

I stand also! Thought I was the only one.
Scruncher! What a topic! Ha

FreeSpirit89 Tue 17-Jun-14 17:11:29

I stand and I'm thin. Everyone I kno sits....

thebodylovesspring Tue 17-Jun-14 17:19:42

This is an old thread!

LastTango Tue 17-Jun-14 17:53:46

Katy - why have you started up a 9 month old thread?

PrincessBabyCat Tue 17-Jun-14 18:03:27

I can't get my head around the mechanics of wiping sitting down. How do you know all the shit is off? Do you just glance quickly and then drop the tissue between your legs? Do you have to lean forward to keep from hitting the back of the toilet seat?

FindoGask Tue 17-Jun-14 18:03:45

on the best way to wipe your arse, of all things. I wonder what keywords you've been searching for.

HappyAgainOneDay Tue 17-Jun-14 18:50:48

I'm a sitter to wipe.

<and I've forgotten what I was going to add>

HappyAgainOneDay Tue 17-Jun-14 18:53:51

Oh, yes, I remember!

It doesn't matter if you misswipe and get poo on your fingers or feel that you have to clean the loo because you've dribbled onto the seat. There's usually a washbasin where you can wash your hands. With a bit of luck there'll be some soap or handwash and a towel.

No one has mentioned washing hands yet!!

No one has mentioned washing hands yet!!

grin

littlemisssarcastic Tue 17-Jun-14 19:08:19

I saw the last thread about this and found it difficult to understand why anyone would stand to wipe.
I'm not sure I like the idea of being further away from the toilet than absolutely necessary with a piece of shitty toilet roll in my hand and I know this is an issue that most people don't have.
However, what does concern me more on these threads is how many women wipe back to front. shock

littlemisssarcastic Tue 17-Jun-14 19:09:55

I know I've wiped adequately because I keep wiping until there's no shit on the paper. just because I wipe sitting down doesn't mean I don't look at what I'm doing. grin

CollieEye Tue 17-Jun-14 19:23:20

I'm a sitter, DH is a stander. I never knew anyone to stand before I met him and until this thread I thought he was the only one. DC's are being taught both methods.

At the moment though the 3 year old does a 'downward dog' yoga pose and bellows for someone to come and wipe her.

KeepOnPloddingOn Tue 17-Jun-14 19:23:54

Dh and I are not the same. I sit and he stands. Both of us are in disbelief at eachothers ass wiping antics.

mouselittle Tue 17-Jun-14 20:09:17

Am I the only one that does it sitting down but entering from the front?
I use wet wipes too...

Member758776 Wed 29-Oct-14 19:29:34

Hi all, hopefully I can be of some help... first of I'm a man so never been pregnant but please read on I do have the solution.

I have just lost over 5 stone in weight so as you can imagine I was to big to reach around. I searched the internet for various methods and contraptions and low and behold found something that worked... A SHOE HORN!!! you know the long things the you put down the back of your shoes so you can slip your feet in!

You need to look for the plastic ones about 10 inches long one end has a round bit with a hole in it, this hole is just the right size to put 1 - 3 papers or baby wipes through... the method is to take the baby wipes 2 at a time, place them together (on top of one another) then pull the "middle" of them through the hole which creates a rose like shape the from behind or front just wipe away.. pull out and replace for another wipe.

I bought 3 of them 99p for 3, I kept one in my toilet, one in the car (incase of need to goto a public toilet!) and one at work... if anyone asks just say your pregnant and need them to put on your shoes!!!! and of course you can put on your shoes with them as well.

Hope this helps

waithorse Wed 29-Oct-14 19:31:52

Cause you do Member hmm What a tip to bump a zombie thread for.

WowserBooooooooooooser Wed 29-Oct-14 19:32:22

<Licks pencil tip>

<gets out notebook>

Aeroflotgirl Wed 29-Oct-14 19:33:56

Yabvvvvvu to be concerned how people wipe their bum. As long as they flush the loo and wash their hands, who cares.

cherrybombxo Wed 29-Oct-14 19:34:21

Wait... people stand up to wipe? shock

I genuinely didn't know that this was a thing.

fredfredsausagehead1 Wed 29-Oct-14 19:45:12

I'm sure people don't mean standing up straight more a semi squat type position ...

DadDadDad Wed 29-Oct-14 22:05:59

This bizarre thread from a year ago awakes from the dead and walks the Earth. Do zombies even wipe their bums?

Redhead11 Wed 29-Oct-14 22:26:01

I am a sitter. I don't remember DC standing to wipe except when i was doing it for them. I have used baby wipes for years (but never flush them!) as a result of IBS. I would need to be really ill to poo anywhere except at home. I never knew that adults stood to wipe...

VikingLady Wed 29-Oct-14 22:46:42

Just asked DH how he does it - sitting, access from the rear. I do sitting, access from in front. Neither of us had realised you could do it standing!

In fact When I shared this fascinating insight into the weird habits of internet-people he said "But surely standing to wipe means you are more likely to fall over and end up covered in your own shit?"

Maleeka Wed 29-Oct-14 23:11:06

I had to ask my OH how he does it, fully expecting him to say " seated of course, you daft woman!!"

But no! he's a stander too! shock I've been with this bloke for 3 years and he still continues to surprise me! I never knew standing was a option to wipe your bum grin

shadowfax07 Thu 30-Oct-14 00:49:20

I've just asked the OH, (y'know in the interest of science ;) ) and I'm horrified to find put that he's a stander! I've got IBD, so use both TP and moist wipes when needed.

I'm a sitter, lifting one cheek, and just can't imagine standing at all..

aurynne Thu 30-Oct-14 01:49:07

Stander and folder here, never imagined there was another way until i read this thread!

And in order to bring this conversation even lower, I really have to ask: Am I the only one who sometimes, after a very... erm... messy one, carefully examines my arse on the mirror to make sure there aren't any bits of toilet paper stuck to my bum hairs?

(perhaps because I once had a very, VERY embarrassing sexual situation in which my partner commented he had seen some white bits down there... still flush just thinking about it!)

aurynne Thu 30-Oct-14 01:50:08

* still BLUSH!!! BLUSH, not FLUSH!!!! blush

Aussiemum78 Thu 30-Oct-14 02:25:55

I read somewhere that a large percentage of Americans flush while still seated.

Now that was odd.

So standers, surely you don't stand after a wee. Because you'd get drippy bits on your shoes?

itsbetterthanabox Thu 30-Oct-14 06:24:18

I'm definitely bigger than nearly all of you but I can still reach around! Why wouldn't you be able to?
I sit down, standing up sounds odd to me! I think bf stands, weirdo.

Szeli Thu 30-Oct-14 08:37:10

i'm a sitter, i'm huge tho too but even did this when underweight.

i also use moist tissues for the final wipe otherwise i'd still feel dirty.

am I the only person who never managed to work out tampons? i've tried standing up a few times over the years but they just wont go in blush

apenny4 Thu 30-Oct-14 10:25:59

I was so surprised to see this thread resurface - it was my first AIBU and I NC for obvious reasons.

I was still quite new and hadn't even heard of a poo troll, something I'm accused of up thread. Needless to say I'm now a little wiser!

Very few posters actually commented on whether I was BU or not, however given how many surprised posters there were, asking their OHs etc. I took it that I wasn't BU.

I cried tears of laughter at some of the posts back then grin.

I think the standing v sitting is determined by our mothers (or dads when they're the main caregivers of course). My niece is a stander, so I suspect that her mother is too (not that I've asked). I've taught DD how to do everything sitting - even though I know standing clearly works for lots of people it still seems a weird concept, just as sitting seems to be a weird concept to people that stand.

DadDadDad Thu 30-Oct-14 11:05:02

I admit that it never occurred to me that there was an alternative to the way I did it until this thread came along. But what I find strange is not that some do the opposite to me, but all you posters saying how weird it is that some people do whatever is opposite to their own way.

Surely, it's not that much of a deal, and we each make our method work so that we don't end up leaving anything horrible behind or on our behinds?

apenny4 Thu 30-Oct-14 11:24:14

I don't think that weird and big deal necessarily equate though.

It seems weird to me, I'm not saying it is weird, it's clearly normal for everyone who does it the other way. Still quite a lot of people are very surprised when they realise - I'm sure no one's loosing sleep though grin

itsbetterthanabox Thu 30-Oct-14 14:00:56

I think small kids often need to stand because their feet don't touch the floor so sitting and wiping could cause balance problems.
But as soon as you can sit it's def the only way! grin

overslept Thu 30-Oct-14 16:49:44

I never thought about this before, I sit down. I really want to ask DP but I'm embarrassed to and I kind of feel that it would kill some sort of romance to ask grin.

Thebodynowchillingsothere Thu 30-Oct-14 17:08:46

Stander here.

But who on Earth cares what anyone else does in the bog as long as it's left clean and you wash hands!

Wierd thread.

DadDadDad Thu 30-Oct-14 18:02:03

To anyone else reading this, who feels the same way as Thebodynow..., please do what I am now trying to do, and stop posting to this thread, so this zombie can return to its grave.

Of course, it's a free country and if you really want to add something to 200+ posts on this topic, don't mind me... sad

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