To think, actually, no method of contraception will suit me?

(50 Posts)
FennCara Mon 23-Sep-13 20:45:34

I'm breastfeeding, so combined pill is out.

I'm rubbish with the minipill and forgot it enough to get pregnant.

Condoms, although a must in terms of sexual health, have torn THREE TIMES and I really want an additional method.

I am terrified of needles, the injection and implant fill me with fear.

I know a couple of babies conceived with the coil in place, but I'm open to positive stories. Ditto IUS.

I've never had regular periods so natural methods are out.

The patch? Does it work in real life?

I dont want any more children but not certain enough for permemant methods.

What do you use & how is it? Why is there not a pill you take once a month?!

Snazzyenjoyingsummer Mon 23-Sep-13 20:49:21

Mirena coil? Not intrusive, very very low hormone dose and once it's in no need to worry. It suited me well at a time when other mainstream forms of contraception didn't.

divegirl77 Mon 23-Sep-13 20:51:38

The mirena coil is as effective as female sterilization. Nothing is 100% unless you keep your legs shut.

VinegarDrinker Mon 23-Sep-13 20:51:43

There obviously are Mirena babies, but they are rare. It's more effective than sterilisation, and is the method used by most female gynaecologists.

Writerwannabe83 Mon 23-Sep-13 20:55:19

I had a Mirena, loved it! Periods pretty much stopped and I no longer had to worry about contraception, it was just so convenient. I had it in for 3 years and then had it removed it in order to conceive, which I did, six weeks later smile

phantomnamechanger Mon 23-Sep-13 20:55:21

I was going to say mirena too!

been on mine 7 years, so on my second one, has all been an absolute doddle! strongly recommend.

BTW I was recommended it for ghastly heavy periods, the easy reliable contraception was an added bonus!

OmNom Mon 23-Sep-13 20:57:22

I'm similarly awkward (although for different reasons) and I use a diaphragm (what used to be called a Dutch cap...)

No hormones, nothing permanent, no needles etc. You can put it in 2-3 hours before sex so none of that annoying break in proceedings you get with condoms. You have to be happy furtling around in your nethers to put it in and take it out, though. And it's only 92-96 per cent effective (and that's if you use it correctly)

YoniBottsBumgina Mon 23-Sep-13 21:06:27

How old is the baby you are BFing? Combined pill is safe, but may reduce supply, so it's not recommended if you have a baby who still relies mainly on milk for their nutrition. (So it's okay once they're established on solids too).

My experience was that supply dipped for about a week but DS was very able to get it back up to speed again!

You could ask if your doctor would prescribe the NuvaRing - it's a smallish silicon ring which is inserted at the top of your vagina near the cervix, you wear it for 3 weeks, remove to have a period, and then put a fresh one in after a week's break. Very popular in the US, not all doctors have heard of it here, but your doctor should be able to prescribe it even if it means the pharmacy have to order it in. The problem is as it's unfamiliar some doctors will refuse because they don't know much about it - but it could be worth asking smile

YoniBottsBumgina Mon 23-Sep-13 21:07:38

Also how in God's name have you managed to tear a condom 3 times?! Is this a stealth boast about the size of your DH's equipment or do you just have really long nails? grin

FennCara Mon 23-Sep-13 21:10:28

Thank you! Am swaying to mirena now. Hadnt even thought of a diaphragm, although not sure i could reliably plan in advance of sex. blush

MrsWedgeAntilles Mon 23-Sep-13 21:18:00

The patch is fabulous but it uses the same hormones as the combined pill so if you can't take the pill you wouldn't be able to use the patch either.

The Mirena (IUS) is very good and according to the research so is the copper coil (IUD), I think you may have experienced a statistical blip with the pregnancies you've known. That said you have to feel confident in the method you choose so no matter how good the IUD is if you've know it to fail you might not have that confidence.

You could try a combination of methods, maybe POP (mini pill) and condoms or diaphragm that way you'd have to be unlucky to experience failure in both methods at the same time. I don't know how long its been since you last took POP but fairly recently they brought a new version out with a pill taking window of 12 hours rather than just 3. Would that be helpful?

Go and have a chat to a family planning nurse, they'll have loads of ideas.

CarpeVinum Mon 23-Sep-13 21:23:05

Do yon have anything like this where you are ?

I've not used it, but going by the ads I think it works like an ovulation checker, but for daily contraceptive use. If the hormones in your pee turns the monitor red it isn't safe to have sex, green you can.

i do wish the couple advertising it would stop the sudden and deeply unconvincing canoodling, other than that it seems like an interesting idea for people who don't get on with other methods. As long as it works.

YoniBottsBumgina Mon 23-Sep-13 21:23:51

I think also maybe you tend to hear about coil pregnancies, because if someone gets pregnant while on the pill there is more room for "maybe I didn't take it properly" which you might feel embarrassed about and want to hide perhaps? But on the coil because you don't have to actually do anything, it is a bit more of a shock if you do get pregnant so you might be more inclined to talk about it.

MrsWedgeAntilles Mon 23-Sep-13 21:24:46

Also with condoms its really important that they are the right size and fit. Get down to the local clinic and ask them for a variety of sizes and get your DH to try them on. If you're keen to use condoms and the normal sizes are just not cutting the mustard there is a service online where they send you measuring implements, you send back his measurements and they make you bespoke condoms. I can't remember what its called off the top of my head though. One word of warning though, if you are going down the internet condom route make sure they are kitemarked or it could all go pear shaped.

Re the diaphragm - depending how exciting your sex life is, you can just put it in as part of your bedtime routine so it's there if you need it and no worries if not........

**doesn't work if you have quickies on the sofa at nap time etc etc

YoniBottsBumgina Mon 23-Sep-13 21:27:26

Although YY there is definitely a mini pill which has a window of 12 hours now. I set 3 alarms on my phone and take it after the time in the evening when I get up in the morning. (Am on combined pill, POP made me bleed a lot) - one at 8.30ish saying "Time to take your pill", if I forget that, one at about 11pm saying "Did you forget your pill?" and one at 7am saying "No really, did you take your pill?"

I usually take it between 8.30 and 11 so if I do forget 7am isn't too late to scarf one down. If you forget then you should use condoms for 7 days, but some pills have different instructions - Gedarel for example has complicated instructions about changing the days you take it if you miss one. Best to read the leaflet with the one you have!

OmNom Mon 23-Sep-13 21:27:30

Second the advice to talk to a contraceptive/family planning clinic nurse - they're very helpful. I also used this site

Just to be clear re diaphragm (not trying to push it on you honest! just thinking now that my post was unclear) - you don't have to put it in three hours before, it's just that you can. It suits me cos I don't live with my partner but I know when I'm going to see him so can plan ahead, IYKWIM

MrsWedgeAntilles Mon 23-Sep-13 21:38:09

Thanks, OmNom, I am one smile
I love the my contraceptive tool on your link, I'd recommend that too.

Tavv Mon 23-Sep-13 21:43:42

Mirena is more reliable that the diaphragm and you don't have to think about it once it's in.

OmNom Mon 23-Sep-13 21:44:58

Good for you MrsWedge - tis a good service!

MrsWedgeAntilles Mon 23-Sep-13 21:46:50

Aw shucks, OmNom blush
I love it, easily the best job I've ever had smile

christinarossetti Mon 23-Sep-13 21:52:16

Where do people get their diaphragms from?

I'm in London and my local family planning clinic doesn't do them anymore, and neither does my GP due to the low rate of effectiveness.

OmNom Mon 23-Sep-13 21:56:56

I got mine from the sexual health clinic where I live (not London). It's true that they're just about the least effective form of contraception you can get, sadly (although you can double-up with condoms for your most fertile days) - but seems a shame not to make them available to people who can't use anything else.

I had a implant when dt's were 7 months old. Some wired periods fur a while but settled down. I just had my second one . It lasts 3 years and is statistically the mist effective form of contraception according to my midwife ds and a good friend who is a family planning doctor. I like you don't want any more little ones but am not sure enough for anything too permanent !

MrsWedgeAntilles Mon 23-Sep-13 21:59:02

Christina, you could try getting in touch with the FPA at to find out who's fitting them near you.

Loopytiles Mon 23-Sep-13 21:59:07


christinarossetti Mon 23-Sep-13 22:04:58

Thanks, will do. My GP made it sound like they aren't really available anymore, although a quick consultation with Dr Google suggests otherwise.

MrsMongoose Tue 24-Sep-13 01:58:38

I think you should man up and get injected.

Lottystar Tue 24-Sep-13 02:06:49

Just to say if you don't want another bouncing bundle, get on whatever contraceptive as soon as you can (or your partner of course) wink I fell pregnant when my first baby was 3 months old ... Didn't think it would happen to me, breast feeding etc. It did. Obviously I wouldn't change a thing now I have my second little fella smile

I vote vasectomy. grin

What about the ring. I'm not in the UK so I don't know if it's available there.

Driz Tue 24-Sep-13 06:09:52

If you won't take contraception properly, then you should probably look at permanent methods.

glastocat Tue 24-Sep-13 06:21:54

I bloody love my copper coil. A few horrible minutes getting it fitted ( take vodka and Valium) followed by twelve years and counting trouble free contraception, and no hormones too.

FellatioNelson Tue 24-Sep-13 06:28:50

Why don't you use a condom and a diaphragm simultaneously?

On their own they are both pretty crap (mostly because it's so easy to get carried away in the heat of the moment and not bother to use them at all, rather than a genuine failure rate) but assuming you do actually make the effort to insert/wear then I imagine they make a pretty impenetrable combination.

Fairylea Tue 24-Sep-13 06:45:50

I got pregnant with dd using the diaphragm, and was using it properly too.

Could you consider taking the pill again but leaving the packet somewhere you will always remember everyday? Mine is tucked inside the same cupboard as the mugs - so when I go to make my first cup of tea for the day the packet is staring me in the face. You could also set a daily alarm on your phone. I also make sure I have a spare packet in my bag just incase I do forget and I am out then I can take one - hasn't happened yet but good to know its there!

meditrina Tue 24-Sep-13 06:55:12

Persona is horribly unreliable, and I don't think you can get it in UK any more for thtreason.

Mirena or Nuavaring is probably best for you.

Though if another pg really would be disastrous, you might find that your ability to take minipill properly improves dramatically.

juniper9 Tue 24-Sep-13 08:27:27

Cerazette is a mini pill that has a 12 hour window like the combined pill. I was on it for years until I swapped to something similar (but can't remember its name now).

Ruralninja Tue 24-Sep-13 08:45:21

I second the nuvaring, it's absolutely fab - lowest dose of hormones you can have and you can just forget about it for three weeks at a time

FennCara Tue 24-Sep-13 09:30:22

The baby's seven weeks so still needs a lot of milk, didn't realise you could still take combined later on though.

The condom thing: one was an ancient 'lucky one' kept in a wallet so was weakened (I was a v young and an idiot at the time); one was nails; one was my broken engagement ring!

"D"H ran away months ago so definitely not a stealth boast in that department.

I can't really insist new conquests have a vasectomy, I'm not that much of a catch!

Theas18 Tue 24-Sep-13 09:36:08

Combined methods ( pill patch nuvaring etc) are not " completely out" in established breast feeding. You need to be aware they can affect supply and work at it though. 7 weeks is probably a bit early.

Can I just ask a blunt question, and I'm not asking it to be rude.

How important is it to you and your partner for you NOT to get pregnant at the moment?

If it's actually really vital you should be motivated to look at alternative strategies to manage taking cerazette every 24hrs ( with a 12hr window) eg alarm on phone, tick calendar etc etc.

If it was an epilepsy pill that, for instance meant that poor pill taking could lead to a fit and loss of driving licence ( on which perhaps your job depended) you would manage , somehow to take that pill every day without fail....

BeatrixIsPotty Tue 24-Sep-13 09:38:24

I have a ten year copper coil, it is great, I had it fitted and that is it, done. Once a month after my period I check that the strings are still there and that is all I ever have to do, for ten years!

MrsWedgeAntilles Tue 24-Sep-13 09:54:55

The nuvaring has the same type of hormones as the combined pill so if you've been advised not to take the pill you probably should steer clear of the ring as well. Also the ring is quite new so there isn't the depth of evidence as to its effect on breast feeding as there is with other, more established methods.

I'm laughing at the though of how you would manage your chat up lines if you had to invite every new man to pop along for the snip grin

A lot of this advice is brilliant but working out which method is best for you is a bit like buying shoes or bras, you really have to get down to clinic and work it out with some one who's trained.

FennCara Tue 24-Sep-13 10:20:51

MrsWedge I can't imagine much success.

I'll talk it through with a nurse. Joking aside, it's vital I don't get pregnant. Yes, I know, in that case I shouldn't be having sex. It's fairly vital that I don't crash my car as well but I still drive it (albeit with a seatbelt on...).

MrsWedgeAntilles Tue 24-Sep-13 10:36:00

Sex is much more important than driving OP grin
There will be something for you, you just need to explore your options and the best thing for you will pop up.

HeirToTheIronThrone Tue 24-Sep-13 10:42:56

I understand the needle fear ruling out injections, but the implant needs one tiny injection in your arm once every three years, just to numb it. If you can manage that it's a good option, no need to even think about it after it's gone in.

ChairmanMeoww Tue 24-Sep-13 13:57:38

People with Minerva - did it cause you any weight gain?

TheFuzz Tue 24-Sep-13 14:02:51

Vasectomy long term, but not if you plan any more kids. Might also ruin your sex life also if your hubby is one of the unfortunate ones.

I have to agree with the implant people on this.
It really is just a little local injection and then it's in.
And it lasts 3 years.
I got a period with it in month 1 and haven't had one now for 9 months.

I wanted the coil to start with but they couldn't get it in - couldn't even open my cervix open so that was a no go - and bloomin' painful to boot!

YoniBottsBumgina Tue 24-Sep-13 14:14:55

Well hang on, if you're talking a new relationship/casual sex then you need to use condoms anyway. I would just stick with those personally until your baby is older, then go on the pill. Keep a supply so you don't end up using an expired one, check for kite mark when buying (Durex, Mates and Trojan all have these and they're the most common brands to buy anyway) - Boots often have 2 for 1 on condom packs. At least if it breaks, it's usually obvious - I'm guessing you don't wear the broken ring now? Aside from the nails issue they all sound avoidable to me. (Not judging the past, just - for the future!)

redexpat Tue 24-Sep-13 16:20:50

I have the patch and I love it. No weight gain, regular light periods (can put my mooncup in the night before I'm due), no pmt, and no pregnancy. I'm not sure if you can use the patch whilst bf?

McNewPants2013 Tue 24-Sep-13 18:49:48

Nothing is 100%.

Have a look on the FPA websites loads of different choices for you to look at.

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