To think, just eat your Breakfast. Sweets maybe?(68 Posts)
I am at the end of tether with my DS, every morning it's a battle to get him to eat his breakfast. When we go shopping I ask him what cereal he would like. He picks a cereal that he wants and is happy. Has had every cereal going!!! Now he has decided that he doesn't, like milk and wants to eat it dry or he wants toast with no butter with the crusts cut off and then only takes three bites out of it.
Then he doesn't actually like the cereal chosen by his choice, So I end up with countless boxes of a quarter eaten boxes of cereal left. I get stressed as I think and know that it is so important to have a breakfast inside you before a full day at school.
After dropping him off at school this morning, I went to the shop. There were two mums in there with four primary aged kids on the way to school.The children were drinking Blue Energy drinks and a can of Coke And eating a full sized Milky Bar and packets of Chewits sweets. Each parent is different I know that and I'm not judging them. These Mums seemed less stressed than me.
Please give me some options? My Morning nerves are fast running out!!
You may not be judging them for letting primary-aged children have caffeinated 'energy' drinks and chocolate for breakfast, but I definitely am.
I would never give my son a chocolate bar or something, even if he said no to his proper breakfast.
Could you try making some breakfast muffins or savoury scones? Let him eat it on the way to school?
What food does he like? Don't just think about conventional 'breakfast' foods.
Would he eat some sort of yogurt? Or some sort of sandwich?
A cheese string would be a better breakfast than sweets. Would he eat that?
Traditional breakfast food doesn't appeal to everyone...my middle DC prefers something really savoury. Often has last nights leftovers (shepherds pie, piece of pizza) or a cheese sandwich and a yoghurt. I think these are often nutritionally better than the owl of sugary cereal that I'm eating!
What's your sons favourite food? Do something with that maybe?
Porridge is good in the winter. Stop all the cereal for now.
Banana is good on the go food.
My youngest is fussy too, I think he is just like me though and gets hungry a bit later on, we tried cereal with milk, dry cereal, toast, etc.
Now he just has something small, it varies between school bars (fruit bars) bananas, chocolate chip brioche, yogurts etc.
So long as he eats something relatively sensible then I'm not bothered.
Some things just aren't worth the battle!
Though I wouldn't want to be the teacher of kids filled up on sweets and fizzy drinks!
Pancakes with blueberries and banana and honey?
A breakfast muffin/cereal bar that could be eaten on the go?
Fruit smoothie/peanut butter and banana smoothie
This morning dd2 (2) had two cherry tomatoes and a raw mushroom for her breakfast.
She was happy, DD1 wasn't late for school, and it is quite likely she'll have some cereal for a snack mid-morning. Not a biggie, as long as it's a balanced diet over the week.
Not sweets though. The sugar crash is not a great start to the day.
If he won't eat toast or cereal, how about yoghurt or fruit?
Or you can get packets of ready made pancakes that you just warm up, would he eat something like that? Or brioche, or croissants?
Better option than sweets and energy drink!
Why aren't you judging those parents - it's appalling what they feed their kids for breakfast.
Just be firm, rightly or wrongly he behaves this way because he can and because you have let him get away with it.
Toughen up and lay down the law.
'DS - you can have this, this or this' Three choices, all of which are acceptable to you and all of which you know he likes.
If he says no, he goes hungry! I bet it won't keep happening that's for sure.
Probably best to do this of a weekend so you don't stress about him being hungry at school.
Sausage sandwich always goes down well...or sausage rolled up in a piece of buttered bread(cut crusts off). Or really small pieces of things...like you'd do for a baby...bits of banana, bits of cheese, fingers of toast, satsuma segments...it's a faff but I can get a lot more down my reluctant breakfast eater DS that way.
I am in the "whatever you damned well like, but eat something" camp, because my DC are not morning people (not surprising, genetically ) and breakfast can be a battle.
However, even I draw the line at energy drinks (ever, at any time of day) and chocolate for breakfast. DD does sometimes opt for stinky cheese and salami, which makes me feel sorry for whoever she reads to at school, but at least it's food. Both have also eaten bagels /toast/brioche /homemade cake/grapes in the car on occasions, but they know that eating something for breakfast is non-negotiable, and that I will make them late for school over it, and make them explain why.
Hold your ground, OP. FWIW I also refuse new cereal until the last one they chose has gone
but, as they frequently remind me, I am mean
sometimes ds has this with a little nutella
a glass of warm milk i add a tiny bit of honey
Sympathy- some people are just not morning people or morning eaters. But I dont think the way is to find the magic food that tempts him. What both you and he are discovering is that there isn't one really. He will have to learn to eat breakfast on autopilot without enjoying it,w hich si what half the country does.
(a) stop buying his choice of cereal. He doesn't know what he wants. He is getting overwhelmed with choice and now he is losing the plot. Back to simplicity.
(b) does school have a breakfast club? if so, send him. He will behave better in front of others.
(c) I would step away from a sweet breakfast. What does he actually enjoy eating at other meals? If he will eat eggs on toast, or beans on toast, or even a bowl of cold pasta and tomato sauce left over from last night- fine.
(d) put a banana in his school bag for the days he eats nothing at breakfast.
(e) Odd but posibly worth a go suggestion- a hot bowl on a cold morning- does he like flapjacks? if so, he might eat wholegrain (not the mimsy slimy normal sort) porridge (I use Jordans). Make it with water if he doesnt fancy the smell of full-on dairy first thing. Sweeten it with golden syrup - or if he will co-operate, zapping some frozen blueberries gives you a kind of jam which is nice to eat and amusingly purple.
DS2 (8) has a favourite breakfast of cucumber, salad cream with strawberry after. As long as he eats something healthyish i will provide whatever he wants.
DS1 (11) likes a poached egg on wholemeal toast with a rasher of bacon....thinks hes royalty that one!
On "not hungry" mornings they have fruit or yogurt after a fight explaining they will be starving by lunchtime.
I have had to start eating breakfast too so i can set an example...that helped a lot.
Yeah obviously speaks sense - muffins or a granola type flapjack. Or do him boiled egg and soldiers? Maybe not every day in case it bungs him up, but apart from the ones you get from fresh fruit/veg, I always feel safe if I know there's an egg inside my children as they are packed full of loads of other great nutrients. Mr Strong likes them.
Or on AKiss's theme - cheese on toast with Branston. And orange juice to wash it all down, for vitamin C.
Selection packs in the short term, to do away with partially eaten big boxes.
You've given him too much choice and let him go wild on the sugar at breakfast.
Not only has he been able to pick any old crap, he is able just to stamp his feet and say he isn't eating the one he chose.
That would not be allowed to happen in this house. breakfast choice is limited to non sugary cereals, an egg is some form or porridge or toast with butter on a school day. Take it or leave it. Surprisingly enough, they take it, everyday, because it's decent food which really fills them up and they miss it and feel hungry when they don't have it.
Unfortunately you can't put the genie back in the bottle so he'll probably crave sugary breakfasts all the time.
If I was in primary school, allowed to pick and chose which sugar high I fancied everyday no way would I go back to porridge.
dd1 doesn't like to eat breakfast. Sh is seriously not a morning person, and just can't eat until she has been up for a while. She has got better, but in an ideal world, she would eat about 1 hour after she gets up and not before.
So I try and time my mornings around that. If she is tired and sleeps in it is much harder to get her to eat.
She prefers savoury too.
Try a breakfast experiment week. Make it fun, plan together all the things he could try
crumpet and cheese
cheese/ham/peanut butter sandwich (rather than toast)
apple with cheese slices
boiled egg and soldiers
any other variation on an egg!
porridge - try with chopped banana/grated apple/cinnamon/spoonful of strawberry jam/teaspoon brown sugar/squirt of golden syrup
also dd is hungry by playtime, so she eats the cheeses string from her packed lunch then. Is he allowed something to eat at playtime?
Agree with ^
That's exactly what mine get and we don't often have issues.
Thank you the pancake and Yoghurt idea is good. He wont eat Banana's. I'm just a real worry head that he is not being filled up properly for the day. Hate the morning battle of breakfast time. But I also really don't want to go down the route of sweets and chocolate for breakfast. I see a lot of it on the school run.
That was with bymoon I agreed BTW
Have you asked him what he would like for breakfast? If he says 'sweets' you can always say' no, but what else?' There are all sorts of options - toast with various spreads, sausages, eggs, muffins (sweet and savoury), yoghurt, fruit. Get a feel for what he likes within a limit of what's OK to eat to start the day, and give him that.
The changing cereal preferences don't surprise me - I think most kids have a phase of liking one thing and then moving onto another, so I wouldn't feel too bad about that. Nor about him only eating 3 bites of the toast - if he's had something that's a start.
I think the OP's 'not judging them' because she has seen how people get slammed for judging on here, even when it's something that - I agree - people should actually get judgy about. You can't do right for doing wrong sometimes.
My DS does not like eating early. So I struggled a bit when he started nursery class at school at 8.30 in the morning.
Things that were a success with him were ham sandwiches and wholesome homemade cakes (muffins, oat cookies mostly) with a few chocolate chips sprinkled on top. These could be eating on the way to school as well. Plain digestives, or hobnobs?
He's in year 1 now, and has gradually got better. He normally has a slice of toast or weetabix with orange juice. But it's not what I would call a proper filling breakfast.
I think the key thing is to get him used to eating something relatively healthy everyday, then work on a proper breakfast slowly.
I agree. Give him his favourite food (not chocolate or energy drinks!) or a variation of it, in the morning.
Sounds like he is not that hungry though. My children are biting my hands off in the morning (even though they have a cooked dinner before bed and fruit and cheese after - but they are not big lunch eaters - different kids get hungry at different times I guess) and would eat anything I give them, which is usually eggs, porridge, toast with nut butter.
stealthsquiggle - your post made me laugh, as DS is currently into walking around telling me about a made up (apparently... although it could be influenced by something he's watched on CBeebs) shopping list:
"We need: Stinky cheeeese, some stinky socks, and a packet of nappies withaholeinthebottom" (this apparently has to be said very fast).
Sorry - back to breakfasts.
Snazzy think that's what the OP is saying. She regularly asks him what he wants, he chooses cereal then doesn't eat it.
Too much choice when they're little isn't always a good thing.
FFS, giving a small child an energy drink and a chocolate bar for breakfast is ridiculous! Of course you can judge them.
What do you eat for breakfast, bongo?
Definitely support you in not offering sweets for breakfast. They are worse than nothing. He will get a sugar crash and develop shocking food habits. Hold out against it, its better to be hungry than to do that.
Do not give sweets / energy drinks to ur child please...
How about a croissant or a bagel?
Or a cereal bar maybe?
A banana or fruit salad?
You can get a pack of 8 small packets of cereal, just enough for a small bowl..
These will save waste and they are all different..
Normally corn flakes, frosties, rice crispies, coca pops and honey hut loops..
My niece hasnt eaten breakfast in the mornings since she was 4, shes 14 now and still doesnt eat.. U may just need to accept it..
My 5yo doesn't like milk in her cereal and she doesn't do well with lots of choice (overwhelming.) I've limited her choice of cereal to the non sweetened ones which she eats dry, and given her a choice of what protein she can have: peanut butter toast, yogurt, piece of ham, glass of milk etc. she usually chooses milk with nesquik (horrible I know but I had to give somewhere) which she must drink before she gets down.
I hate eating in the morning, despise it.
When I'm going to be busy until lunchtime I stand in the kitchen and force a healthy breakfast down. Its not a nice experience. I would rather eat a sweet. But I do it because I need to be full and I do not need a sugar crash.
If I can choose when to eat then I don't eat till I get hungry which is normally between 10-11am.
People like me will always hate breakfast first thing in the morning so we just have to learn that getting something healthy down quickly is the best option.
He will not eat Eggs he has never eaten an egg in his life or Bacon. In fact his fussy eating at age Ten is driving me up the wall. When I cook a full Roast dinner he will only eat the Potatoes and veg. Its the go slow in the morning and him trying to over ride me in not eating breakfast that stresses me out. I am pretty firm with him but then it ends up in a row which I don't like every morning. So I thought let him chose a cereal that is his choice and he would be likely to eat it then. I feel he is trying my patience.
I feel he is trying my patience
Well he is. He is seeing how far he can push the boundaries. Pretty far it would seem.
I mean as a solution to him not eating the sugary breakfast crap he chose, your considering giving him energy drinks and chocolate bars.
I would act up as well if I were him. It seems to bring lots of rewards.
He is 10? I don't know why but was under the impression he was 5 or 6 - sounds like that from the behaviour you describe.
He is old enough to understand that you won't continue to accept this behaviour and that you are sick of wasting food.
Hi OP. Sounds tricky.
I think one possible approach to this (and one which psychologists often advocate) is to just stop putting the pressure on at all (I know this is easier said than done) and relax about it. Put breakfast on table in good time, tell him it's there, leave it there for 20 minutes, calmly remove whatever is left at the end. If he eats it, great, if not, he will be fine. He's not going to starve himself, and much of the research done on kids and breakfast is difficult to interpret and/or done by Kelloggs .
You can stay calm knowing he's been offered perfectly good food, and he will be fine and probably learn to eventually take what he's offered. If he's generally growing and learning, relax.
Hope it sorts out.
yep, sounds like a manipulative fussy eater to me, & he has found that brekkie is a good one because of the limited timescale. Ten is old enough for him to be completely aware of what he is up to. He will be at secondary school next year, he's not a baby any more.
Tough titty then, he can go to school hungry if he refuses a simple sensible option such as shreddies or toast.
repeat after me: it takes 21 days to starve to death.
Do you know what DamnBamboo... you are spot on and I'm grateful for your post. He is acting like a 5/6 year old and not a 10 year old. I hate wasting food and as a single parent can,t afford to fork out on food that ends up in the bin. No parent can. I feel under pressure that people will bad mouth me because they think I'm, not feeding him because he is so fussy and very slight in build.
In the past I had a letter from social services stating so and that's why I get so stressed that he should bloody eat his breakfast/dinner. Social services took no further action as it was found to be malicious. but the fear is always there in my mind. Bymoonlight I would not want to give him energy drinks or chocolate bars, just running out of ideas.
If he doesn't like milk have you tried an alternative? Almond or hazelnut milk is lovely.
No idea about how to get him to eat breakfast but if you want to use up all the ends of the cereal, mix them all together and make a batch of "random-cereal cakes", you know, like cornflake cakes or rice crispie cakes but with random cereal.
Will he eat a flapjack as an alternative to chocolate/sweets? There is a recipe on here for banana flapjacks that has no added sugar. I add all sorts to it like nuts and seeds too, but you can just make it with banana and dates. My DS who has a sweet teeth would eat it anytime.
Going to try the pancake route tomorrow morning and try to stop stressing out as he knows that its getting to me. Deep breaths.....
Homemade flapjacks/muffins etc are a nice idea but I would not go to the trouble of baking him something special. If you spend time and money making him something and he still refuses to eat it your stress levels will go even higher.
Just make him something fairly cheap, simple and healthy like crumpets or toast with cream cheese or peanut butter. It won't be the end of the world if it ends up in the bin then.
I also thought he was 5/6
I think at 10 he can understand the need for food, and the cost of wasted food.
I too would put it on the table and remove after 20 minutes. Let him be hungry, at 10 he really can then make the connection to breakfast.
Do also take note of what the none breakfast eaters on here have said though
my ds, needs huge breakfast, bad tempered until he has eaten, eats very little for lunch
dd1 could go without breakfast, and then eats lunch
Don't give in to manipulation or sweets.
Could you involve him in making breakfast muffins? Is he more likely to eat things he helps to make?
I agree with ClockWatchingLady. Reasonable breakfast on table, you sit and eat yours, he eats his if he wants to.
Although it would obviously be better if he ate breakfast, he won't come to any harm if he doesn't.
If he's 10, can he have a snack at break time? If so, let him have his breakfast then. I can understand why you want him to have a proper breakfast, and in an ideal world he would, but in the real world go with what works. If you like the idea of pancakes (and so does he) then make some small, thick ones (like drop scones?) which he can eat then if he wants, and if not he can take with him to school to eat at break time. You have them provided him with food and the opportunities to eat it - you can't force feed him.
In time you may find he wants breakfast later (I did at that age, hated eating first thing) and you can provide food he can eat at break, like flapjacks, muffins, cheese sandwich ... what ever works.
I also agree with what others have said about not letting him choose. In your situation I would try the pancakes, and if that didn't work, I would give him something I knew he liked with no other option.
My DS (11) is very similar, but actually likes and eats the chocolately Weetabix things.
Before he asked to try those, though, he would have a boiled egg (same as me).
And he's always ready to eat more at break time, so I make sure he's got a substantial snack.
I like beastofburden and ClockWatchingLadys posts
Firstly I know that you're not going to buy him the chocolate or energy drink but just to reinforce - it is MUCH better for a child not to eat breakfast than for them to drink a caffeinated sugary drink and eat a chocolate bar full of more sugar with a bit of trans fat. They're not feeding their children, they're poisoning them. Judge to your heart's content.
Secondly you are jumping around trying to please him. Being a good mum isn't about pleasing your kids. Stop putting so much effort into giving him what he wants - you're too damn nice! He's 10, so capable of reasoning. Sit down at a non-meal time, and explain to him that if he's going to live a long life and be [insert something meaningful to him eg good at football] then he needs to eat some vegetables, some protein and some carbohydrates and healthy fats three times a day with fruit as a snack. Ask him to brainstorm with you what foods fit those criteria for different meals. Then serve them to him. If he says 'but I don't like...' 'but I don't want to eat xyz' just repeat 'well, because you are a human being, you need to eat some vegetables, some protein and some carbohydrates three times a day with fruit as a snack. That's the fuel your body needs. So let's get back to coming up with ideas for how to do that' Once you've got a list of breakfasts, a list of lunches and dinners just keep serving them up. If he wants something else, don't engage.
If he's phobic about trying different foods I think the 'Calmer Easier Happier Parenting' first plate idea is great - but it sounds to me like he's just running you around like a slave rather than actually being phobic...
I am happy for my kids to have any kind if food for breakfast rather than it having to be traditional breakfast. Sandwiches, soup, pancakes, whatever. As long as they eat. Sadly two out of the four that live here totally refuse anything
Haven't read the thread so sorry if this has already been said.
Don't get stressed. Don't battle with him. Give him a reasonable choice (cereal, toast, eggs, banana). If he won't eat, let him go to school hungry - it won't kill him for a couple of days. Then my bet is he'll start having breakfast. He may never be a big breakfast eater though - that's fine. Some people aren't.
I think a sit down chat together after school today with menu planning may help. He should probably goes for the pancake option. I have had some very good advice in all posts.
Thank you becsborn... I need to get over my fear of thinking that am not being a good mum if I don't please him/give in to him. He does tend to try and wrap me around his finger!! Such as " I want to eat dinner not at the table" urghhh!! I,m going to put my foot down after the chat tonight.
I didn't give mine a choice. They had weetabix, toast and milk every school morning till they were 16, with a choice at weekends.
If they didn't eat the weetabix quickly, it went soggy, they hated it like that so it went down really quickly.
Every weekday morning for 16 years the same cereal
Why? Just why?
can i ask the op who said/think weetabix and a glass of orange jucie was a bad breakfast, why?
aiggre with most of the op, stop the stressing, provided the food, but you cant forse him to eat it. i think he knwos he can play you when it comes down to food, espp breakfast as i do think its the most important meal of the day so i can see why you are worried about it and try every thing.
ask him to think long and hard about what he would like. give him two choices. ceral or toast with maybe fruit on the side. if he doesnt eat it, then fine, dont bed or plead just clear it away, when hes realized you arnt going to run around trying to please h im im sure he will start eatying more.
is he allowed to bring fruit in to school for snacks?
In my experience, the more effort and thought you put into a meal, the more likely it is to be rejected.
Dry toast and a yoghurt, plus a piece of fruit. Take all the thought and choice out of it. He eats the toast and then gets the yoghurt. If he is running late he can have an apple on the way to school.
If he is really pushing it, then he is late for school and has to explain himself to the teacher.
I know lots of people (me included) don't care for breakfast but he's 10 and he doesn't get a say in the matter.
Yes he is allowed to bring fruit into school, but this tends to still remain uneaten in his lunchbox. Again a waste of buying it and not cheap. I give him raisins as a snack and he eats some of them. He does like the Muller corner yoghurts but I think maybe that's not enough as a breakfast?
Nothing wrong with the sane thing every morning. The nutrients in say, weetabix and shreddies are going to be very similar.
Life has got much easier for me now the DSes have settled on the same thing every morning. They are 6 and 3.5.
Dd2 only ever wants Shreddies.
Hot chocolate and a piece of fruit is all dd (nearly 7) can face in the morning (she eats really well at dinner) Ds will happily pile in 4 weetabix, egg as often as its offered and fruit (he frequently barely touches his evening meal). They are different I respect their differences. But I wouldn't let anyone eat chocolate before lunch !
Bongo- relax and be kind to yourself. You are being a GOOD mother by not giving in to everything he tries on. He is pushing for sugar and sweeties- Muller corner yoghurts and raisins are pretty sweet. This is not a new trick and we have all been there. Sweet drinks are the other thing. Filling up on fruit juice isn't that different from filling up on coke.
He is 10. I would have the convo that becs suggests and also I would tell him that you two are a family unit, he needs to behave in a supportive and grown up way towards his mother, and not waste your scarce money and your precious time. Teen years are coming, he is going to want more independence, you are going to want to give it to him- but how can you, if he behaves like a 5 year old baby?
My ds (7) is not a breakfast person and neither am I, but we have a rule that he has to eat something on a school day. I'm easy on weekends as he can have a big lunch. I often buy those packs of scotch pancakes, malt loaf, little individually wrapped brioche etc as it's easier to get him to eat something like that than a bowl of cereals or toast. He always has a glass of fresh orange or apple juice first thing, and takes a decent packed lunch, so I don't stress too much. I work in the village shop, and, on the odd times I'm there at school run time, it amazes me how many kids are allowed to have sweets, chocolate and energy drinks before school!
beastof kind words and I am going to take heed, thank you. hopefully the convo we have later will go okay...
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