To think people don't seem to recognise the difference between evening wear and wedding clothes any more ?

(247 Posts)
BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 08:24:47

(Disclaimer yes it doesn't matter compared to Syria , I do get out a lot, yes the bride and groom were lovely , etc etc)

Day wedding yesterday. Just too much tit. Too much bare top halves. Shiny cocktail dresses in a country church.

Just too much.

BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 08:25:14

Too many bare top halves

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 22-Sep-13 08:26:36

I blame Gok and his get the boobs out and hoik it all in with an enormous waist belt.

aGnotherGnu Sun 22-Sep-13 08:28:10

Depends. Most peo

BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 08:28:27

I think a lot of people had planned to diet. One woman looked amazing in plain black dress. Coral cardigan and statement collar type multi coloured necklace.

Er.. Yes

BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 08:28:53

Plus tattoos. pince nez

BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 08:29:26

Maxi dresses and Peruvian smuggling type hair doughnuts

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sun 22-Sep-13 08:29:41


No-one knows how to do smart daytime any longer, or many people don't.

It is actually because the ceremony and even the meal and photos part of the wedding, which used to be the focus, has become a kind of precursor to the drinking and dancing in the evening.

Which is a shame.

tombliboouun Sun 22-Sep-13 08:31:25

Yanbu. Remember Tara Palmer Tomkinson's attire at Kate & Willie's nuptials? Hideous for a daytime wedding!

aGnotherGnu Sun 22-Sep-13 08:31:38

Most people possess evening wear, some don't have day-dresses. So I think a party dress is ok if you can't afford a new outfit, as long as you stick a jacket or pretty cardi over the top for church/meal.

But really, a lot of brides show cleavage and shoulders don't they?

As long as people look clean and tidy and happy to be there, and not flaunting too much flesh in church, I think all is well.

MusicalEndorphins Sun 22-Sep-13 08:32:27


BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 08:33:18

It wasn't the bride with tits oot. Was guest. Wobbling everywhere.

TiredDog Sun 22-Sep-13 08:33:57

I saw a country wedding the other day which was attended by loads of women in very short dresses <donning hard hat for the next bit> and very fat legs. Just because you want to wear a short dress ...and they sell them ...does not mean you should. It really was an arresting sight. I pondered whether men would be swayed to wear clothes which exposed their beer bellies just because it was fashionable and decided, no. Which left me thinking dressing like that makes some women look foolish.

I also decided this was an observation which should never be made because people would pounce on me for all manner of thought crime

snice Sun 22-Sep-13 08:35:11

How are all the adds on this page for evening dresses? Creepy

OP, I concur we need more decorum

TiredDog Sun 22-Sep-13 08:35:57

There's tits and tits. Tits that look like they are in a dress too small and less that 50% of the breast is hanging on in for grim death are not the best look

BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 08:36:54

The tension on fabric was max. Ladies buy a dress that fits.
One woman looked amazing in long sleeved stretch grey animal print dress. Tights. She was curvy but the dress suited her.

snice Sun 22-Sep-13 08:37:47

And yes to the short dress/sturdy leg conundrum-lots of delusional people without access to mirrors?

Incacola Sun 22-Sep-13 08:37:53

I agree OP. We've been to a few weddings recently where a few girls have felt that wearing neon tiny tight skirted dresses are appropriate wedding attire.

chicaguapa Sun 22-Sep-13 08:38:26

In Spain, they wear evening dress for weddings. We had that dress code for our wedding as it looked so smart and we didn't want two pieces with matching hats.

MintyChops Sun 22-Sep-13 08:39:40

YANBU, some weddings it looks like a box of Quality Street has detonated all over the guests.... I think Alibaba has hit the nail on the head; people are dressing for the party not the ceremony.

Trazzletoes Sun 22-Sep-13 08:41:22

Oh. I have "sturdy" legs. I never get them out because they look terrible.

I have spent months getting to the point where I was just thinking that perhaps they didn't look so bad in real life and it was mostly in my head and a knee length skirt mightn't be all that bad.

Now I see that it is sad

raisah Sun 22-Sep-13 08:42:59

Oh yes, I went to a wedding a few weeks ago and oh my goodness the outfits!

1- girl had a dress on which barely covered her bottom & then spent the entire day hoiking her dress down. WHY?!!

2 - another v curvy girl had a long black skin tight dress on so tight that you could trace every fold, lump etc of her body with your finger. She had no knickers on & had her breasts hoicked up by tape.

3 - another had heels on so high she couldn't walk & later was skewered to the ground when her heel was stuck in a grate.

None of these girls looked lovely, they all looked like they came from the red light district of Amsterdam.

I think more people should wear saris tbh, they cover all the bad bits & make women look so elegant. If worn properly of course, not slutty style like Liz Hurley with her breast exposed!

snice Sun 22-Sep-13 08:43:01

I'm not talking about knee length skirts! It's the lycra bottom skimmers

mumofthemonsters808 Sun 22-Sep-13 08:43:48

I think some people have also forgotten how to dress for funerals. Unless specified, I think smart dress is appropriate and certainly not nightclub clothes. There again I'm very old fashioned.

TiredDog Sun 22-Sep-13 08:45:37

Trazzle I have sturdy legs. I do wear 'on the knee'

I suspect you weren't planning mid thigh grin

BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 08:46:45

Everyone there needed a blunt friend ™

BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 08:47:15

Re funerals SO. No cheap black t shirt material.

raisah Sun 22-Sep-13 08:48:14

P.S. i had a sari on & got lots of nice comments from people. I didn't tell anyone I was held together by safety pins out of fear of it all unravelling & falling in a heap bymy feet!

IsabelleRinging Sun 22-Sep-13 08:48:18

Back in the day, people used to get changed for the evening do!

TiredDog Sun 22-Sep-13 08:49:45

You realise we all sound like our mothers and someone is about to come and tell us off for our lack of solidarity with women. (Women should be able to wear what they like and be proud of their bodies sort of thing)

I was pondering this issue the other day and decided fashion for women allowed us to expose parts of the body which are not perfect... Whilst being imperfect is both normal and fine, dressing to show it off isn't so great. Men just wouldn't do it. I hate the fact that women are made laughing stocks by fashion.

Ordering comments like ours to be suppressed wouldn't stop lots of people thinking them anyway.

Badvoc Sun 22-Sep-13 08:51:25

I went to a wedding last week.
Most of the female guests were bright orange and looked like a strippers.
Most odd.

MotherofBear Sun 22-Sep-13 08:51:48

Trazzle knee length skirts are fine for any size or shape of leg, imo. It's when those of us with massively slightly chunkier legs wear skirts that only reach to mid-thigh, or shorter, that it looks less than attractive.
Wear your knee-length skirt with pride!

BikeRunSki Sun 22-Sep-13 08:52:46

Ah MumOfMonster, dh' s family still talk in hushed tones about that dress that one of dh' s cousins wore to GM' s funeral. It was actually a really nice black wool pinafore style shift dress, but stopped mid thigh and wad v short on her.

BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 08:54:15

I agree that there's a point where we say "I'm not apologising for my body" but there's a dress to suit everyone. And they aren't always worn .

DrCoconut Sun 22-Sep-13 08:54:41

I was at a Christening where half the guests looked like they were going clubbing. I bet the minister didn't know where to look.

ZillionChocolate Sun 22-Sep-13 08:55:52

I don't think black is appropriate for a wedding.

TiredDog Sun 22-Sep-13 08:56:01

Perfectly put Betsy!

My personal fave at a recent wedding was a young lady ahem in a skin tight, off the shoulder, white dress. Although the lady with the backless dress that was so tight she looked like she had boobs on her back was a close second.
But again, the worst part was that neither of them were comfortable, and spent the whole day fiddling with their clothes

Me (the largest bridesmaid ever at 9m pregnant) and my youngest sister begged for saris at my middle sisters wedding grin

BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 08:56:51

Ok slightly stunned.

An AIBU thread being a reasonable discussion.
Ill chuck in a "Leave the bastard /you nazi" for old times

fluffyraggies Sun 22-Sep-13 08:58:05

Hmmm ... this has made me think!

When i look around at any 'do' these days i find myself musing on how many women are in clothes which could be said to be unsuitable for the occasion or unsuitable for their shape.

However i get intensely irritated at mothers attitude that nothing should ever be tight or skimpy. Everything should be tailored or altered so that there's no hint of flesh beneath the fabric. Everything should 'skim the body'. Yawn. She also has a bad habit of loudly pointing out and criticizing larger women. Especially in summer when they are wearing bright clothes or have flesh on show - looking confident and good IMO. All this ''ooh look at 'er'' crap angry

She herself is about 2 stone overweight! But that doesn't get mentioned, although to be fair she is always in large elasticated sack like clothing, and gave up with fashion about 40 years ago.

I am determined to not turn into my mother so i'm determined not to get judgy about other peoples choices of clothes!

Sorry for that ramble.

Dont mention funerals, I had a thread about a woman in red stilettos at a funeral and got torn to pieces! grin

TiredDog Sun 22-Sep-13 08:58:50

Is it a maturity thing? I suspect I took a few years of experimenting with what I thought, fashion thought, I should be wearing before deciding sod that and wearing what suited me?

Currently fashion is dictated by WAGs it seems (the orange Amsterdam red light district look sums it up)

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 22-Sep-13 09:02:24

I think anything in church requires respectful dress - so no bare shoulders etc. What's that line from 4 weddings about 'nothing worse than the vicar with a hard-on' wink

I will admit though, I now look at my wedding pictures and think "beyond, why are your boobs hanging out!"

TiredDog Sun 22-Sep-13 09:03:03

Nothing wrong with being overweight or wearing sexy fitted clothing. Being any size and wearing badly fitted clothing is the issue.

Mid thigh or belt length mini skirts are also a bit of an extreme version of flesh on show along with 'only just covering the nipple' low cut tops

BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 09:03:46

Woman in one shoulder Betty Rubble kind of dress. Stretch black mini.

TiredDog Sun 22-Sep-13 09:04:02

Betty ...also stunned at how the thread is going. I'm waiting for the eruption...

ClaraOswald Sun 22-Sep-13 09:04:53

I will admit, at my own wedding most of the guests were older so nothing inappropriate. One younger guest wore a full length ballgown, but it suited her fabulously.

At my sisters wedding, the grooms youngest sister wore a black ill fitting trouser suit with white edging to the collar. His other sister looked delightful in a 1950's style full skirt and cardigan.

At a friends wedding three years ago I couldn't take my eyes off one young woman- she wore a dress that resembled a silver corselette with her breasts almost falling out and you could see the crotch of her knickers when she bent in half to pick up her handbag. She was bright orange in colour and abandoned her heels early on in the evening as she couldn't stand upright on them. She can't have enjoyed herself- you could see she was massively uncomfortable.

I agree though- fashion has a lot to answer for in it's sheer mockery of women.

CooEeeEldridge Sun 22-Sep-13 09:06:11

YANBU! Same goes for races.

noddyholder Sun 22-Sep-13 09:06:20

I have the outfit down pat just hate weddings though so avoid. But agree too much flesh for weddings now it's like disco wear ok as long as you have a jacket

fluffyraggies Sun 22-Sep-13 09:06:39

Funerals is my personal bug bear! Purleeease have some respect! It's only for one morning. Put something black on and turn your phone off.

Oh and just wearing a black version of what you would wear out clubbing isn't quite right either!

ClaraOswald Sun 22-Sep-13 09:06:50

I say young woman- she was probably around my own age. I'm only 34.

StainlessSteelBegonia Sun 22-Sep-13 09:09:51

Don't most people wear coats/jackets in church anyway? In my yoof, I always wore a coat over my invariably short & sleeveless dresses during wedding ceremonies.

These days I dress very sensibly with skirts to the knee and nice cap sleeves, but then my body is much more sensible than it used to be, too. (Sigh.)

I have a wedding Wednesday and finding a dress for an afternoon til night after do hard!

Its 3.30pm til midnight so have to find something suitable for daytime as well as night time.

One tattoo will be on show though. I can only hide one grin

MairzyDoats Sun 22-Sep-13 09:11:46

I would LOVE to go to a wedding where (like in the good ol days) there was a gap between the wedding breakfast and the evening 'do' to give everyone a break/time to freshen up/change into evening attire. Why has that stopped happening?

It is hard sometimes to find something appropriate to wear in the daytime that will translate to evening. Naturally I carry it off brilliantly myself, blush but not everyone has one's sartorial gift.

BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 09:12:23

a dress that might be sleevelss
or trousers and a jacket with a top under it suitable for the evening

its not hard

BellaOfTheBalls Sun 22-Sep-13 09:14:46

YANBU. I'm old fashioned particular about what I wear to weddings. Last year DH's cousin got married in a Catholic Church. I was always told you don't wear bare shoulders to a church wedding. One guest turned up in six inch heels & a chiffon halter neck dress with hundreds of huge plastic rhinestones & a puffball skirt that finished just below her ovaries.

fluffyraggies Sun 22-Sep-13 09:16:09

SPs - i feel your pain. We are governed by our budgets and what's actually in the shops!

I had to do a day to evening recently. SO many nice dresses (and i'm talking just simple slip dresses which are good for day to evening) are ruined by being mid thigh length or this weird lower at the back than the front thing.

I bought a ruched floral stretchy dress from Coast in the end. Nice length. Cost more than it should though. Change of shoes and make up and ditching the cardi for the evening.

noddyholder Sun 22-Sep-13 09:16:09

Skinny trouser suit silky top beret combo has been my uniform for this. Add big earrings for evening Done

BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 09:16:12

thats a perfect example of the genre. well done.

also chiffon maxi dresses - as if from a night out in Ibiza.

We are going to town after wards so need it to suit that too. I'm not a trouser and jacket person.

I am after a lovely dress as my mum is paying for it as its my birthday the day before.

I spent 5 hours searching yesterday! I was also with a toddler, that was torture.

Ahh, thats one thing I don't do - attempt to hide my tattoos. Not that they are "on show", displayed prominently as centre of outfit grin but they are there.
Guess I'd better leave the thread, am a disgrace wink

BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 09:18:21


Went to a wedding once where some of the male guests wore tracksuits shock

noddyholder Sun 22-Sep-13 09:20:03

Yes can't do those twiggy head dresses like butterflies on your hair. Love a beret with a skinny suit take it off pm obvs

BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 09:20:10


BellaOfTheBalls Sun 22-Sep-13 09:20:49

Oh betsy there were several of those as well. Another well endowed guest with most of her breasts on show as well.

There was another guest who only came to the church who was wearing jogging bottoms, but I was so speechless at that I'm still not sure I've quite processed it.

Never did I think I'd feel overdressed at a wedding, but I did!

Trazzletoes Sun 22-Sep-13 09:22:57


And you're right, it will be a cold day in hell before my thighs see the light of day <shudder>

BellaOfTheBalls Sun 22-Sep-13 09:23:28

Quite murder. It's usually safe to assume that unless you rock up to a wedding wearing your own wedding dress you're laughing.

sp 50s type dress or wrap dress?

Preciousbane Sun 22-Sep-13 09:24:07

I agree and for your delight op I will describe the worst outfit I have seen at a wedding.

DH cousins wedding in a really pretty church.

Her friend turns up in a skin tight floor length Lycra dress with obviously no underwear on at all, plenty of nipple due to nippy day.The dress is blue with a New York City skyline at night printed along the bottom with skyscrapers reaching up to her knee. There is a slit in this floor sweeping number that reaches about half way up her thigh in between her legs. It is a backless halter neck with a keyhole cut away so her cleavage is saying hello to everyone.

TiredDog Sun 22-Sep-13 09:24:30

that finished just below her ovaries grin

Badvoc Sun 22-Sep-13 09:27:19

I think the rules for weddings are pretty simple tbh:
Nothing above the knee.
Nothing white.
Dont wear heels you cannot walk in.
Don't have a bag so small all you can fit in it are your lipstick and mirror.
Don't wear something you aren't comfortable in. You will be in it for at least 12 hours so make sure you can sit, bend over and walk comfortably in it.
Easy really.
Funerals can be difficult. Lots of people now state no black to be worn. I always wear black to funerals often teamed with another colour like dark blue or grey.

I'm trying to find a plain skater dress but all dresses seem to have random cut outs!

I dont want my love handles on show.

Just seem to be finding half price prom dresses. I dont think I would suit a wrap dress. I just want to look and feel nice. Not often I get the chance grin

Nanny0gg Sun 22-Sep-13 09:29:02

I am old fashioned and I agree with the OP. I went to a wedding recently and some of the guests looked absolutely stunning whilst being fashionably of the moment.
Such pretty dresses that came not-quite to the knee, boobs covered, flattering colours. Suitable for day-to-evening. It can be done.

One tip. Never wear satin or shiny.

And how really not to do it (still shuddering at the photos), Kathryn Blair at her brother's wedding. She should have looked elegant but young, not like an extra from TOWIE.

Badvoc Sun 22-Sep-13 09:29:45

I think it's very hard to get a 1950s style tea dress and cardi wrong and it's suits most shapes.
Team it with peep toe heels, clutch and a lovely hat and job done.

BellaOfTheBalls Sun 22-Sep-13 09:30:28

SP I was looking for a dress this morning for a night out in November. Debenhams have some nice, simple skater dresses with no random cutouts and 25% off their designers range today as well.

DH has just said to point out, it wasn't just tracksuits, it was velour tracksuits.

mrsharrystyles Sun 22-Sep-13 09:32:39

I once went to a friends wedding in a lovely little country church. The groom's brother wore jeans, t shirt and trainers. Brother's wife and kids were all dressed for the occasion. What was going through his head? It was so disrespectful.

TiredDog Sun 22-Sep-13 09:33:14

Kathryn Blair looks quite decorous compared to some of the guests I have seen recently

BellaOfTheBalls Sun 22-Sep-13 09:33:53

Ugh. Did they lose some sort of dare?

KatyTheCleaningLady Sun 22-Sep-13 09:34:36

We used to live in a rough Scottish town. The way women dressed for baptisms and funerals was shocking. They dressed like for a nightclub, if the goal is to not pay for any drinks.

And more than once I saw skirts shorter than the control top part of the tights.

NoComet Sun 22-Sep-13 09:34:47

I think this depends where you are.
My friend in rural Wales had all the ladies in dresses I'd have thought of as short evening/prom dresses. Really nice dresses, knee length satin with sparkes ie. Far more short black tie outfits than wedding guest.

I felt stupidly underdressed in a very nice cotton dress which had been exactly right for a far posher hotel wedding the previous year.

NewNameforNewTerm Sun 22-Sep-13 09:36:16

I think lots of the "younger generation" (can we have an old wrinklie emoticon?) think dress code for events like us oldies do. I think it is more what I like wearing.
Not sure how I feel about that. I like feeling I'm wearing the right outfit that matches the occasion. But also feel people have a right to wear what they feel good in.

mylittlesunshine Sun 22-Sep-13 09:36:58

Oh no now I'm scared, I have just bought a dress for my friends wedding and now I'm worried its not going to be right! I've not been to many all day weddings that weren't my own or as a bridesmaid.

littlemisswise Sun 22-Sep-13 09:37:38

ASOS have some skater dresses SP.

I remember my mum saying to me that my sister's wedding was going to be "so posh" because her friends were all dressing up! Dressing up was the right turn of phrase, I spent most of the day wondering what they had come as!

My sister's dress didn't fit properly, she spent all day dragging it back up so her boobs didn't fall out. I said to DH half way through I wish I had bought my dress in Primark I'd have fitted in better!

Trills Sun 22-Sep-13 09:38:14

Do people wear evening dress to weddings in Spain?

One guest at a Spanish wedding that I attended was wearing something that you'd expect of Avril Lavigne - including a pink baseball cap.

I'm from the younger generation and I am very self conscious about sticking out and looking too over dressed and too underdressed.

Twice its happened where I have felt overdressed after been told what to wear.

Also it might be a chance to pull grin

I dont know newname, I went to my exes older sisters wedding when I was 19, in something I would wear now not that it would fit now
Other guests, older than me, were in the type of dresses on this thread.

Some people, regardless of age, just have no class wink

littlemisswise Sun 22-Sep-13 09:46:11

My sister and her friends are older than me they are just in denial!

littlemisswise Sun 22-Sep-13 09:47:22

SP Dorothy Perkins have 20% off their dresses online till tomorrow.

Hassled Sun 22-Sep-13 09:47:23

Bloody hell - you've all confirmed what I was already suspecting - I have a wedding to go to and the dress I bought IS completely inappropriate. It is both shiny and short. here.

So please, if anyone is bored and has time to kill - find me a HoF dress (because that's where the first one came from and it will be easier to swap). I'm size 10, dark hair, 5.2, no tits, belly that needs hiding, good legs. I have no idea what's nice anymore.

I'm not old either, though not quite so much of a whippersnapper as SP envy

Nanny0gg Sun 22-Sep-13 09:50:16

I think there are still plenty of opportunities to look individual and stylish at a wedding. The dresses can be pretty and strappy (cover shoulders for the church) and fashionable.
All I ask is that people wear clothes that fit and that they're not hanging out of.

Too much to ask?

ClaraOswald Sun 22-Sep-13 09:50:34

Hassled- that dress is knee length. Should be perfectly fine.

That is not short and only a little shiny smile
I'd wear it

NewNameforNewTerm Sun 22-Sep-13 09:53:31

Nice dress Hassled. Would you wear it again to a different event (also my criteria when I'm splashing out on outfits to wear to weddings, interviews, etc.)? If yes, maybe you could add a jacket to make it more formal wedding style?

THIS is a short and shiny dress grin

Nanny0gg Sun 22-Sep-13 09:54:19

Hassled - that doesn't look too short and it does look stylish. There are also no boobs hanging out in that picture.

Looks lovely to me.

Lottapianos Sun 22-Sep-13 09:54:45

That dress is lovely Hassled! Definitely wear it

BookFairy Sun 22-Sep-13 09:56:43

SPs Dotty Ps has a "fit and flare" skater type dress smile

I went to a wedding evening do a couple of years ago and most of the other female guests were orange, had giant bouffant hair pieces, and a LOT of boob/thigh-age happening. It was a shame, as they were all attractive aside from the drunkeness .

mylittlesunshine Sun 22-Sep-13 09:56:54

Hassled I think that dress is lovely and great for a wedding!

Can someone check mine, paranoid now...'s/women's%20clothing/dresses/

Hassled Sun 22-Sep-13 09:58:12

Oh thank you thank you - but I should have added I'm 47. Not too mutton? And what colour shoes?

Hassled Sun 22-Sep-13 09:58:43

mylittlesunshine - link doesn't work for me

mylittlesunshine Sun 22-Sep-13 09:59:41

Ooh that's rubbish don't think it works, never mind.

Trills Sun 22-Sep-13 10:01:52

Hassled your dress is lovely.

Is this thread going to have to move to s&b? grin

Mylittlesunshine, yours is fine too. Although I'm getting jealous that others have things to go to and lovely dresses to buy and I have aaaages til anything nice!

ThePuffyShirt Sun 22-Sep-13 10:03:12

Arf at Peruvian smuggler's bun doughnuts! I wish women would realise you need thick enough hair to cover these monstrosities. (And that no one looks good with a mahoosive bun atop their head)

It didnt work for me either, I googled the name of it smile

MairzyDoats Sun 22-Sep-13 10:06:30

mylittlesunshine your dress is lovely, I think the fabric is wonderful.

Trills Sun 22-Sep-13 10:07:14

Why are the doughnuts suddenly right on top of the head? What's that all about?

whogrewoutoftheterribletwos Sun 22-Sep-13 10:07:56

A friend of mine was a bridesmaid at her sister's wedding recently. Her family live far away and her mum was organising all the pre-wedding guff. My friend started panicking after her mum told her 'and I've booked your spray-tan', but if the bride wants orange, the bride wants orange!

Fortys bloom printed dress. Black or pink? I like both though

blibblibs Sun 22-Sep-13 10:08:29

Link worked for me mylittlesunshine. Perfect dress for a wedding - love it.

Trills Sun 22-Sep-13 10:10:49

I don't have enough hair to cover one of those doughnuts.

mylittlesunshine Sun 22-Sep-13 10:10:49

The darker one its a really dark green colour

Oldraver Sun 22-Sep-13 10:13:01

I saw a wedding party going through town to the local social club. They all looked like a downmarket Fat Gypsy Wedding goers. Short, short, not really covering the knickers very well tight dresses with a layer of see through chiffon billowing behind. It didnt look good on the younger ones never mind the much older orange guests.

They didnt quite stop the traffic but did get a few WTF looks

SchnitzelVonKrumm Sun 22-Sep-13 10:22:19

Americans wear evening dress for weddings. I've been to a few British or Irish person marrying Yank type dos at which half the guests were attired in shift dresses and big hats (the Irish are still impeccably turned out for formal events IME) and half in spangled floor-length gowns with a split to the thigh. One was in a field near Bristol with cider served from barrels, the American guests were very confused grin.

wilkos Sun 22-Sep-13 10:24:50

I was at a christening last weekend where 3 younger cousins of the christening mum wore tight, only just bottom skimming dresses with stripper shoes. They looked ridiculous tottering into church clinging onto people, pews etc to save themselves from ending up on the floor. Me and sister were shock and a bit sad that girls these days always feel they have to look sexy and "up for it" regardless of the event or venue.

Oo, even better mylittle, i love dark green dresses!

wilkos Sun 22-Sep-13 10:25:55

Oh god... "girls these days" I AM my mother grin

Oldraver Sun 22-Sep-13 10:28:23

Hasled..the dress is lovely...even though I'm not a fan of nude shoes...would they contrast with the top part of the dress (or a colour to match the top part)

NuggetofPurestGreen Sun 22-Sep-13 10:28:55

How short is too short?? I tend to wear short dresses and cover my top half. Don't wear sleeveless dresses and normally have a cardigan in any case. But my dresses tend to stop probably just covering thighs, 3 inches about knee. I do have nice legs though! And the dresses are tight or anything just shift style.

NuggetofPurestGreen Sun 22-Sep-13 10:30:05

Oh I and I always wear black but I've already had that argument on another thread grin

NuggetofPurestGreen Sun 22-Sep-13 10:31:03

aren't tight.

mylittlesunshine Sun 22-Sep-13 10:31:13

Oh thanks! It feels so good on I really like it. I only got married 8 weeks ago and can hardly remember what my guests were wearing, I'm sure I would have noticed if there were any real shockers!

catgirl1976 Sun 22-Sep-13 10:31:27


It grates on me for some reason (I know I should get out more)

There is a big difference between wedding and cocktail party. But a lot of people seem to be oblivious to this when choosing outfits

BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 10:32:09

Hassles that's fine. Jacket though remember

chicaguapa Sun 22-Sep-13 10:33:34

Re Spanish weddings, it's a class thing I think. The length of the dress is determined by the start time of the wedding. I was invited to one in Spain, and knowing all this I double/triple-checked the exact dress code. I mentioned it to another Spanish friend who remarked that they must be a very nice family.

I turned up in evening dress, to the floor, and ironically was sat with the British contingent who were dressed for a UK wedding and I was very overdressed. But I didn't mind as I looked European. wink

I was at a wedding recently in my knee length navy dress and matching long coat, hair up by hairdresser and killer heels.
One of the guests had shorts on.
Another wore a white long dress.
Another wore what can only be described as a bunny girl outfit sans ears.
This was a naice do.
Still, it gave us something to look at while waiting for the photo session to end grin

ryangoslinglovesmedamnit Sun 22-Sep-13 10:51:32

totally agree. and officially confirming myself as old before my time

went to a wedding a few months back. My dress was a tight wrap dress but just below knee length with three quarter length sleeves. I sat next to two girls. .neither could dance let alone because of their heels and I saw FAR too much ass cheek.

and they older than me (im early twenties) I actually felt old.. I was shock I don't understand why some girls feel the need to show so much! ?

Beyond I go to Tesco in those dresses! Its my casual wear. I have a black one for dossing around the house grin

This is mu first grown up, without parents wedding. Its my first school mates wedding. i preferred when my mum picked my clothes grin

i have a wedding to go to on friday, i will be wearing a maxi dress and my boobs are quite generous. dh loves me in it though and as it is his family, i will stick with it. i am excitedly looking forward to seeing what the young people turn up in-it is a young wedding.
i did wonder about the evening do and changing though-the wedding is at 3.30 so i assume it is carrying through, don't really have anything to change into either.

Dammit, wrote a long post and it disappeared!

I need a wintery casualish (but able to be dressed up) dress atm, skater dresses would be ideal but I'm 5'11 and all the ones I have tried tend to flash my bum grin

Have loads of multipurpose summer dresses that can do any occasion, but really struggle with wintery ones

I'm 4foot 11 so short dresses are always longer grin

I clearly don't recognise the difference cos I didn't have a foggiest what OP was about, even after several rereads. confused

Is the suggestion that we wear staid, inoffensive apparel to the nuptials and then bring a change of tarts clothes for the reception?

Wouldn't they get crushed in one's handbag?

Am also actually dreading my next wedding/similar event type thing, as I cant wear heels atm. Wtf should i put on my feet?!

IceCreamForCrow Sun 22-Sep-13 11:22:02

I think there are too many strapless wedding dresses about. They are often unflattering with skin squleching out the top and sides. Dresses with sleeves look more stunning, elegant and right for the occasion. Only imho of course.

BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 11:29:27

I think strapless wedding dresses are rough tbh. Once started a thread that if you're over a size 12 they should be banned. You can imagine how that went. Side boob. Back hamster etc.

I also don't really care for skater dresses. straight to hell

noddyholder Sun 22-Sep-13 11:30:16

Skater dresses are not for women

i also live in fitflops, after my own wedding i removed the shoes of torture at the reception and popped on some white fitflops under my dress. i will be wearing strappy flat sandals on friday,

I don't think I've ever seen a man in one though?

mylittlesunshine Sun 22-Sep-13 11:34:00

Oh dear this thread is making me paranoid... I wear skater dresses and had a strapless wedding dress! I don't actually think dress shops have enough non strapless dresses all sleeve types in shops I was in were lace and I'm allergic to that so was very limited.

BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 11:36:51

It's only me anti strapless wedding dresses. They're just dull. And not suited to most.

Pinupgirl Sun 22-Sep-13 11:39:25

Completely agree op-was at a wedding yesterday and some of the outfits were horrendous. I am usually a great believer in women wearing whatever the hell they want whatever their size-am a 16 myself-but far too many of them were in tiny dresses,bad fake tan and stripper shoes. It was really not appropriate for a church wedding!

I myself stuck to my usual style-Lady vintage dress for service and vivien of Holloway dress for evening reception-many compliments I got too<smug>

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 22-Sep-13 11:41:47


I thought that at the last wedding I went to. Half the guests looked like they were dressed to hit the local bars.

Just randomly popped up on my clever ebay "things you might be interested in"

Nancy66 Sun 22-Sep-13 11:46:56

I think it's the American influence where it's much more common to wear evening style dress to weddings - the UK is prob the only country that does the day dress/big hat thing and that seems to be increasingly going out of style. Understandable I guess.

Umlauf Sun 22-Sep-13 11:48:24

Yanbu, I also dislike strapless wedding dresses. It was HELL shopping for my dress and being told my every shopgirl how uh-amazing they look on and wouldn't I just try one, especially as there were no non-strapless in the shop.

Re church wedding attire, what DOES one wear without looking like a) ones mother, or b) a tart? At 26, I'm not quite at the Jacques Vert stage yet and have a wedding to go to in December.

mylittlesunshine Sun 22-Sep-13 12:03:55

Umlauf - I am the same... Well 28 and struggled to get the balance right, I looked at Coast, French Connection and Ted Baker they all had nice stuff that wasn't too old or tarty!

mylittlesunshine Sun 22-Sep-13 12:08:34

What do we think about hats? Are they the done thing these days, I think only a few of the older ladies at my wedding wore one. It's a hotel wedding should I have a hat, fascinator or nothing?

At 27 too, I'd aim for something like this with cardi and heels, for a winter wedding.

Although I have to do a lot of trying on as that actually looks like it might be a tad short on me, depends on the model in it

Nancy66 Sun 22-Sep-13 12:11:41

I hate fascinators - much prefer a bit Joan Collins hat.

I like hats in general, but tend to try on 100s and end up with a fascinator, they just dont suit me sad

Massimo Dutti dress here. Understated but elegant.

soverylucky Sun 22-Sep-13 12:15:17

yanbu. I know I am old fashioned but I don't like what some people where to church for weddings or christenings. I was actually quite upset at dd's christening when sil turned up in knee high black boots, black mini, no tights and tight top. I really did not think it was appropriate for the occasion.

soverylucky Sun 22-Sep-13 12:19:26

Too add - I also dislike strapless wedding dresses for a church and actually think that they are quite unflattering for most women.

I also don't like people wearing a different outfit for the reception to the wedding. Its like they are two separate events and I don't like that (well I didn't at my own when dh's family all got changed). They just kept calling it a party and MIL even said as her birthday was quite soon it could double up as her birthday party. That is a whole other story though...

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams Sun 22-Sep-13 12:20:38

I've been lucky in that the last lot of weddings I went to (just the way our family's ages are) I was just young enough to go as a 'guests' child' rather than a fully fledged guest. I was able to get away with a nice summer/winter dress and no hat, just my hair done nicely but usually loose. (I admit I was pushing it at the last one - I was twenty!).

But my friends are staring to get married now, so I'm going to have to go as a guest in my own right.

Hat hire is the way to go, I always hire rather than buy when I go to the races. You can get a ver posh hat that perfectly coordinates with your outfit (the shop should ask you to bring your outfit along with you when looking) and suits your face shape. I paid £45 to hire a mahoosive hat for Ascot this year, it would have cost me hundreds to buy.

At my cousins wedding a few years ago, half of the groom's friends turned up I'm jeans and Doc Martens hmm

Umlauf Sun 22-Sep-13 12:25:33

Thats good, sounds like I've done previous weddings alright then! The bolero is my faithful friend, I will graduate to jackets when I'm in my thirties I think, frock coats in my fifties.

Boosterseat Sun 22-Sep-13 12:26:45

DHs auntie turned up in a white PVC dress with white heels to a family wedding last year! <shudders> wobbly tot,thighs the lot.

I wore an on the knee cream and green kimono dress and she told me I looked like "some sort of chink"

There has to be a website out there with outrageous guest clothing? I'm off for a google.

Boosterseat Sun 22-Sep-13 12:27:41

Tits not tot

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams Sun 22-Sep-13 12:32:46

Don't rule out a frock coat Umlauf. My friend asked me to go along with her, dress shopping for her mother because I'm the same height and colouring (and 40 years younger hmm). Her DM does have some mobility problems and finds it hard to use changing rooms but why she couldn't have tried them on at home, rather than using me as a body double I don't know...

Anyway, the point of that was I'm in my twenties and actually look pretty good in a matching dress and coat!

MrsManshape Sun 22-Sep-13 12:36:11

I got married on Friday.

One guest wore jeans and a tee, another a 50's inspired dress. Another lady wore a suit, with cans and a tee, and another wore a lurid yellow mini dress.

And you know what - i didn't actually care!!! They are my friends and they were there for me. They could have been nude - the fact that they were there was what mattered most.

FairPhyllis Sun 22-Sep-13 12:39:38

YANBU. My cousins turned up to my grandma's funeral in black going-out-on-the-town outfits. How difficult is it to find a black dress suitable for daytime, or some black trousers and top?

adishbestservedcold Sun 22-Sep-13 12:40:42

more than once I saw skirts shorter than the control top part of the tights. grin

Beyond that's the style dress I want! I went in to DPs too and didn't see that

BalloonSlayer Sun 22-Sep-13 12:48:32

I saw one of those programmes the other week where two brides who don't know each other have to arrange a double wedding and have everything the same, so they have to compromise and one of them has to not have the dress they want etc.

I presume they deliberately pick polar opposites to make good TV. The one I saw had a slim bridezilla who was planning a choreographed first dance and who clearly adored herself, up against a no nonesense, short, un-thin, yorkshire lass.

Many rows later they had their wedding. The thin one got her way and they both wore "her" dress; a strapless creation with a massive skirt the no-nonesense bride had called a monstrosity.

Guess who looked best in it? Yep - the short little non-thin one grin
(Although it did start to slip a bit when she'd had a few.) The bride who had chosen the dress, and it was her dream dress yadda yadda was too thin to carry it off. She'd looked far better in the other one's chosen dress which was more modest and had sleeves, and by which she had been horrified.

BalloonSlayer Sun 22-Sep-13 12:50:05

I have spelled nonsense wrong twice! shock blush

What's the matter with me ??? confused

Oubliette0292 Sun 22-Sep-13 12:57:25

I'm getting all paranoid now - will this be OK (with a long cardi over the top)?

catgirl1976 Sun 22-Sep-13 13:00:07

Yes - that is perfect wedding wear IMO Oubliette

For anyone who is looking for an outfit for a wedding, try Phase 8. I've bought a few in there and they are great (imho grin) and they have lots of shops in the outlet centres as well, so not too expensive. (I'm in my 40's btw)

misdee Sun 22-Sep-13 13:03:46

Ok help me!

I have a wedding to go next summer. In the day. In August.

I am a size 22. I plan to diet but let's just go with size 22. Just in case. Big knockers.

What sort of stuff should I be looking at?

StackOverflow Sun 22-Sep-13 13:05:48

So what? I don't dress for other people; I dress for myself. And, yes, I'm generally considered well-dressed (or maybe just so scary that people feel the need to placate me with compliments grin).

One of my co-workers considers cocktail dresses business smart. Guess what? Nobody cares as long as she does a good job - which she does.

LtEveDallas Sun 22-Sep-13 13:05:49

What do you think of this dress for a wedding AX Paris Scuba

For someone 5ft 4, size 14 with HUGE boobs?

LtEveDallas Sun 22-Sep-13 13:09:22

Oh or this one Feathers

Nancy66 Sun 22-Sep-13 13:11:32

LtEve - Ii don't think that would work with huge boobs.

I've got big boobs and I find that high necks are very unflattering and that a v neck or more of a scoop neck looks better.

Nancy66 Sun 22-Sep-13 13:12:03

second one deffo much more flattering for larger busts

LtEveDallas Sun 22-Sep-13 13:13:57

Cheers Nancy, was trying to give myself more of a waist, but I think you are right with the boob thing.

snice Sun 22-Sep-13 13:15:06

The Dorothy Perkins dress is pretty:reminds me of julia Roberts at the polo match in pretty woman

MummyBeerest Sun 22-Sep-13 13:19:31


There are LOTS of dresses you can wear to formal events without advertising your goods. We had an evening wedding in October, and <most> women seemed to find gorgeous ensembles.

But someone mentioned earlier, tights? Do we have to?? They itch... sad

UnicornsPooGlitter Sun 22-Sep-13 13:31:14

Oh my, this thread has made me worried about anything I've ever worn to weddings and funerals. I usually think of Coast as my go to shop for wedding wear. Am I completely wrong?

catgirl1976 Sun 22-Sep-13 13:31:49


I am a 12 /1 4 and am always scared of dresses labelled as "body con"

How do they fit on someone our size? I've seen a lot of dresses I like on-line but then see the "body con" description and get put off?

In my head they will either make me look like Joan in Mad Men (dream scenario) or a teletubby in a sausage skin (nightmare)

Have you tried bodycon before with good results or does anyone know if I can wear that style?

Pigsmummy Sun 22-Sep-13 13:34:22

A guest wore a full length sapphire coloured ball gown to our wedding, her son (aged about 10) wore a loud sweatshirt and track suit bottoms. Another guest wore a white dress, the actual dress that she married in the previous year, none of these people are short of money or clothing. It was a traditional wedding, church then 200 year old venue for sit down meal, It didn't matter but I do look at the photos and think "wtf" where they thinking!?!

Pigsmummy Sun 22-Sep-13 13:37:28

Don't do tights do hold ups? The very word "gusset" makes me shudder

squoosh Sun 22-Sep-13 13:38:10

I was at a Scottish/Irish wedding last month where the two sides of the congregation were facing each other. The Irish side was definitely dressed more formal and wedding-y as was commented on by more than one Scottish attendee.

snice Sun 22-Sep-13 13:40:46

If you're not sure what sort of outfits the OP and others are thinking of might I suggest you Google 'Aintree Grand National ladies day' images

MinesAPintOfTea Sun 22-Sep-13 13:43:47

I have a lot of sympathy with women in inappropriate dresses: usually I spend a coupe if hours in the ships, find nothing and end up spending my dress budget on fabric and making my own dress.

If someone isn't a confident sewer and doesn't have a large budget its very difficult.s

I used to buy all my going to wedding dresses in places like monsoon. They seemed to fit the brief well.

Whoever it was who was saying about strapless wedding dresses I agree. I have a friend who has an amazing figure, perfect in a bikini yet she had a strapless wedding dress and I have to say it made her look odd, even a bit extra boobish because it had to be tight enough not to fall down.
I actually managed to find a wedding dress with straps that I then had long flowing sleeves added to. Got many comments about how beautiful they were.

snice Sun 22-Sep-13 13:46:57

But I'm not sure it's a question of money-it's more a question of looking in a full length mirror and asking yourself,regardless of what's in fashion, 'Do I look good in this?' and 'Is it the right size?'

"Would one of the girls from towie wear it on a night out?"

BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 13:52:28

LE eve if the dress FITS then its fine

that was my initial post - so so many people POURED into dresses

Imho if you need spanx then either go on a diet or buy a dress that fits

BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 13:54:40

isaggree you need a large budget

The woman who looked nice at the one I was at had on a PLAIN black short sleeved dress that could have been this kind of thing with bright cardigan on and then this kind of necklace here and she looked comfortable and stylish

I made my own wedding dress to avoid all the strapless ones, I do not have the figure for them at all!

Twattybollocks Sun 22-Sep-13 13:56:45

Agree re the short dresses and sturdy legs. I tried on a gorgeous dress whilst looking for a race day outfit, alas it looked nice on the top half but when I looked in the mirror at my legs I just thought "nobody in their right mind would want to look at that" and bought trousers instead.

noddyholder Sun 22-Sep-13 13:57:36

All about fit size up rather than spanx you will look like a sausage. I think all the crap tv has convinced women that a glitzy look is the only way to go

BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 13:58:49

spanx fool NO ONE and if you want to buy them so you look thinner, try eating less

I know I know * takes own advice *

I need spanx, not for sizing but to flatten the baby apron that no amount of dieting will ever reduce smile

Nancy66 Sun 22-Sep-13 14:01:54

Larger women going for control underwear like Spanx will look much better if they buy control slips rather than the knickers or shorts where everything spills out over waist and thigh bands.

With a slip style underdress you get a much smoother, even shape.

BlueStones Sun 22-Sep-13 14:01:54

Me and sister were and a bit that girls these days always feel they have to look sexy and "up for it" regardless of the event or venue.

So true, Wilkos. When I was a lecturer I used to feel the same when a 9 am Monday lecture, in February, was full of women in hot pants and stilettos. They must have been FREEZING. The blokes were wearing hats and jumpers.

Anyway, back to weddings!

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 22-Sep-13 14:11:00

At DS2's christening he was one of three being 'done'. His godmother look one look at the party dressed in short, tight dresses, stilettos and fascinators and observed 'I didn't know we were going clubbing, I thought this was a church'.

At a funeral this week and amazed at how many people can't rustle up a bit of black. Or that someone thought black jeans and a designer hoodie was the answer.

InsertBoringName Sun 22-Sep-13 14:25:42

misdee What about a Hell Bunny dress? I wore that one to a wedding last week and got loads of lovely compliments. Admittedly I'm a size 12 but I do have big boobs and I know they look fab in a plus size!

Although just realised I made a gaff by not covering my shoulders in church! My mother was with me, her fault she should have told me them's the rules!

LtEveDallas Sun 22-Sep-13 14:58:56

Catgirl, I've got one nice bodycon dress (AX Paris again) with a peplum thing going on that I think looks lovely, and I've had lots of compliments in it. Can't wear it to the wedding because its the same colour as the bridesmaids sadly. The 'madmen' look was what I was after when i bought it, and i think it works. I usually go for more flowing dresses, like my second one.

I agree with nancy about the well fitting slip. I bought one from M&S to go under my peplum dress and the difference was amazing. Even though I wear well fitted underwear, a slip over the top smooths over the lines/bumps and makes a big difference.

catgirl1976 Sun 22-Sep-13 15:09:14

Oooh I might give bodycon a go then (with a bump smoothing slip)

<dreamily imagines self giving Joan vibes>

LtEveDallas Sun 22-Sep-13 15:13:28

Ohh, I've just found a picture of that scuba dress on a bigger girl, looks nice (but her boobs are smaller I think)

catgirl1976 Sun 22-Sep-13 15:17:02

It does look nice...I like the style of that

ICameOnTheJitney Sun 22-Sep-13 15:22:05

It does not look accentuates her tummy terribly.

CiderBomb Sun 22-Sep-13 15:24:14

A few months ago the son of a family friend was getting married in a local church, so I decided to wait outside to see them emerging as man and wife.

Anyway they all came out and looked lovely, and then a girl, who was to put it quite bluntly fat, came teetering out on the most ridiculous black patent platform shoes I've ever seen. She was wearing a flimsy floral "thing" that was very short and barely covered her thighs let alone her bum. To add insult to injury as she had her back to me a gust of wind came blowing around the church yard, went under the back of her dress, blew it almost over her head and I got eyeful of her bare arse (she was wearing no knickers), and her badly applied fake tan that seemed to stop just under each arse cheek.

I'm not religious but I couldn't belive someone had actually entered a church looking like that!

I don't think it's very flattering either. The curve of the pattern accentuates the curve of her tummy

misdee Sun 22-Sep-13 15:31:12

Insertboringname that is lovely

I find LK Bennett is a good option for trendy but wedding-suitable day dresses.

That's a perfect example of people being on differing budgets.

Those dresses cost more than my rent!

I have £60 for a dress and accessories. Depending on how much I spend I might be able to get nails done.

I will shop at high street stores which is why so much of the same thing. Quiz is the shop I've seen some lovely stuff in

Tavv Sun 22-Sep-13 15:42:42


BetsyBidwell Sun 22-Sep-13 15:43:19

There were loads of dresses like that scuba one. STRAINING

Sorry blush I wasn't referring to the £200+ dresses, more the styles on offer. The LK Bennett dresses I've bought have usually been in the sale or from their EBay outlet store!

FeckOffCup Sun 22-Sep-13 15:48:28

YANBU I was shock when a young relative of my friend turned up to friend's DD's christening in a white almost see through arse length dress with a black bra clearly visible through it. Seemed very inappropriate for a church or anywhere else.

snice Sun 22-Sep-13 15:53:30
snice Sun 22-Sep-13 15:56:18

there are loads on DP

I think this is quite pretty. Would need a wrap or something but affordable at that price.

DuckToWater Sun 22-Sep-13 16:32:27

At all the weddings I've been to I thought it was lovely to see people looking so smart.

I think people should wear what THEY feel comfortable in, and can afford. Most people can't afford new clothes for a wedding at the moment. I don't really see why anyone should care that much about what others wear, or need to start a thread on it.

Oh and I spent years getting confident enough to show my legs after being called thunderthighs at school. I spent a couple of years dieting and exercising obsessively and went down to a stone underweight, and guess what, I still had muscly legs. The only way I wouldn't have sturdy legs is to have some kind of muscle-wasting disorder, and fortunately I didn't go that far. I started to actually like my legs after Beyonce became popular and then Serena Williams in tennis, and actually when I do show them I often get compliments.

That's not to say I'd wear something arse-skimming with massive stilettos for a wedding. It's not my style, and I can't bear heels more than about 3" for more than a few minutes at a time, and I'm tall anyway so don't need them. My mum might have in the 1960s though - she used to have knickers to match her skirt, just in case. But if other people want to that's their choice. I might be guilty of wearing a short skirt with sturdy legs though, and things that are non-traditional for a wedding, like cream and black.

I'm afraid this thread reads largely like a) the tyranny of the thin (even if contributors aren't themselves thin) and b) rather Hyacinth Bouquet in tone.

LtEveDallas Sun 22-Sep-13 16:32:37

Oh I love that green dress Jayne. I normally go for sleeves, but that one is nice.

I hadn't noticed that about her belly on the scuba dress blush. I actually thought it made her look more hourglass. I wonder what it looks like side on? Probably not good.

Think I'm going to stick to my floaty dresses, just fancied a change for once. Mind you, at a size 14 it's not like I'm going to persuade anyone I'm thin is it grin

I'm tempted to get that green dress even without a wedding to go to! grin

SparkyTGD Sun 22-Sep-13 16:43:02


I was at wedding in the summer & googled 'wedding guest dress etiquette' beforehand (saddo grin) and its definitely bad form for female guests to display too much flesh.

SconeRhymesWithGone Sun 22-Sep-13 16:57:33

Americans wear evening dress for weddings.

This is generally true, but in my experience, it is much more common in the States for weddings to be in the late afternoon or night than in the UK. Where I live in the South, weddings are usually at night (a holdover from the days of no AC, perhaps) or very late afternoon, which makes the reception a nightime event. So people dress for the evening.

Also we don't have the bifurcated wedding celebration with some events happening in the daytime and another party at night.

BTW, I am also not a fan of strapless wedding dresses, mainly because often the proportions are way off; with not much to vary on top from dress to dress, designers tend to focus on the skirt and train, etc. with sometimes unfortunate furbelows and embellishments.

AlwaysSleepingBeauty Sun 22-Sep-13 17:18:40

I am 25 and attended a wedding last week in a peachy maxi skirt and nude peach lace top (worn together looks like a dress) with vintage jewellery and a faux fur cropped jacket for the church and colder evening part.

Lots of girls wore short bodycon dresses, it made me wonder if I should have gone for something more 'sexy', but this thread is making me think perhaps I was correct smile

Don't entirely agree about the spanx OP, it depends totally on the outfit and on your shape. But then I don't wear them to make me a size smaller or anything, just to smooth things out a bit on dresses that suit my body shape, but not my post baby tummy! Many dresses look better (on me) for the addition of some spanx but I'm very hourglass so don't get overstuffed sausage skin look, or overspill from them.

However I have seen plenty of women in bad control pants where you can clearly see where they start and finish!

EastwickWitch Sun 22-Sep-13 17:48:23

My (now ex) SIL arrived at the house before my wedding in a very short, strapless cotton frock, with her very large unsupported cleavage on show.
DM kept saying "the church is very, very cold, would you like to borrow a cardigan".
She declined, cue lots of sniggering in the pews from friends & looks of disapproval from DP family. I heard that the choir rather enjoyed the outfit.

fluffyraggies Sun 22-Sep-13 18:33:17

I can understand the want to look glam when you're going out. But there are rules to help.

If you've got a big bust and/or an hour glass figure it can be hard to strike that balance between tarty (Jessica Rabbit) and matronly.

A big bust needs a v neck or lowish round neck to be flattering. I hate having a massive expanse of fabric under my chin, over my big boobs. It looks awful.

For my shape anything that doesn't fit me at the ribs and instead drops from the bust just makes my bust look even bigger and makes me look 9 months gone and like i'm wearing a tent sad Ditto all the floaty chiffon gipsy tops sadly.

So ... I tend to pay attention to the 'one or the other' rule, ie: Legs or bust - never both out at the same time.

ie: flash a bit of cleavage, but have the length at least to the knee. OR have your legs on show but put a scarf or higher neck line over the boobs.

raisah Sun 22-Sep-13 22:34:29

I don't know what to say, I did google aintree grand national ladies as someone advised earlier & this is what I got.

You will need brain bleach for some of the images & they all looked frozen.

I think they meant they were in the "No, just No" category, rather than tips for the perfect outfit grin

Mimishimi Mon 23-Sep-13 04:00:34

I remember showing up to a wedding in New York in what I thought was a lovely floral cotton dress and a hat. Everyone else was in black-tie evening wear at 2pm in the afternoon. Of course I looked the odd one out and felt horribly self-conscious for about half an hour. The invitation had not specified and it turns out that Americans (in that city at least) have a very different idea of what is appropriate to wear to a morning/afternoon wedding (i.e ballgowns).

turnipsoup Mon 23-Sep-13 04:32:11

So can I wear this dress to an autumn day wedding followed by reception? And if so what should I wear with it?

turnipsoup Mon 23-Sep-13 04:33:04

sorry, should have said it's the 'mink' one on the right hand side

turnipsoup Mon 23-Sep-13 04:34:42

Oh, and I'm size 12, 5'6" with chunky legs smile

Crowler Mon 23-Sep-13 06:35:49

It's bad enough seeing these young girls in their skimpy attire. Worse yet to see them 1. unable to actually walk in their heels and 2. tugging at their dress all night because for all their bravado, they remain biologically programmed to feel awkward at being nearly naked in public.

sonlypuppyfat Mon 23-Sep-13 06:42:19

I see loads of weddings I'm a church bellringer and none of them know how to dress and none of them sing either. And don't start me on the bride I think there is only one strapless dress in the whole county and they all share it.

Lweji Mon 23-Sep-13 07:08:57

Coming late to the thread, but last year my 7 year old got baptised during service along with other children and teenagers.
Some of the outfits worn by the girls being baptised were hmm, including strapless...

InsertBoringName Mon 23-Sep-13 07:26:51

turnipsoup That dress is gorgeous!

sashh Mon 23-Sep-13 07:27:37

(Women should be able to wear what they like and be proud of their bodies sort of thing)

Everywhere except weddings, it is the bride's day, she is the only one who should be showing off her figure/covering it up/whatever she wants.

Anyone who distracts from the bride is not appropriately dressed (caveat - small children can do this but only for short periods of time)

ICameOnTheJitney Mon 23-Sep-13 07:30:31

It is not the bride's is also her husband's....and if he likes fat arses revealed up to the hilt then he should have them.grin

If the groom wants both legs and top halves out that's his call.
He'll look ridiculous and still get judged though

TiredDog Mon 23-Sep-13 15:58:11

My big fat gypsy wedding...

Vintageclock Mon 23-Sep-13 16:09:16

YANBU. And I don't know which is worse with short dresses - pale white hefty legs; or streaky fake tanned, lots of bits missed, hefty legs.

The most elegant and attractive looking people at weddings are always the ones who go for a classy toned down look; not the ones teetering around in stilettos with dresses clinging to their hips and bare shoulders turning blue with the cold.

PixieBumbles Mon 23-Sep-13 17:15:57

I have to confess I wore a strapless dress for my wedding. I was adamant I didn't want strapless but the lady at the sale insisted I try it on and I loved it. I wore it with a fake fur bolero because it was March and bloody cold!

I have a guest dress dilemma coming up. I have a selection of (I hope) smart day dresses that I tend to rotate through different weddings. The problems I have are:

1. I've already worn all the dresses to other weddings with the same group of friends and I don't really want to turn up in a dress they've all seen me in before.

2. I'll be 14 weeks pregnant so while I don't expect to have much of a bump by then I have no idea if any of my current dresses will actually fit.

Think I'll try to find something nice with an empire line, so it has growing room over the tummy!

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