To be pissed of with a yr 6 child strangling my 6 year old...

(49 Posts)
ghostspirit Fri 20-Sep-13 20:41:12

My 6 year old had to go breakfast club this morning he has only ever been once before today and that was couple of years ago. and a child from year 6 strangled him. I spoke to the head about it and she agreed its not on. anyway i went to pick up my older son from keystage 2. and she walked up to the boy and told him stop messing about with your orange then she just walked of and did not say a thing to him....and because of all that being on my mind i forgot my 3 year old and almost went home without her!

Vivacia Fri 20-Sep-13 20:50:03

I think you should put all of that in to a letter, and point out how bad it is that she made you forget your three year old.

ghostspirit Fri 20-Sep-13 20:51:16

lol me forgetting her not their fault was just ranting

Vivacia Fri 20-Sep-13 20:51:21

And write a letter to the strangler's mum, about the strangling and the orange peel.

DoJo Fri 20-Sep-13 20:52:48

I'm not sure I really understand your post - do you mean that the head said they would discipline the child who strangled yours but didn't do it in front of you? Perhaps they thought it was inappropriate to address them whilst you were there.

Vivacia Fri 20-Sep-13 20:54:19

Also, it's not right that your son had to go to breakfast club, especially if he gets strangled. Your the mum, it should be your choice.

ghostspirit Fri 20-Sep-13 20:54:42

true... i do need to give it a chance to see if anything happens

Vivacia Fri 20-Sep-13 20:54:53

Argh, "you're the mum".

Sirzy Fri 20-Sep-13 20:55:52

I am lost as to what happened.

Perhaps the head chose to deal with it later. Perhaps he wanted to talk to the breakfast club staff before diving in.

bundaberg Fri 20-Sep-13 20:57:05

yes i agree, the head wouldn't necessarily have gone and told the boy off straight away.
i suspect she'll want to talk to the people running the breakfast club to see how they dealt with it/if they were aware of it and then will take it from there

ghostspirit Fri 20-Sep-13 20:57:41

true sirzy i just have to wait i guess. what has pissed me of more if the fact that it was a year 6 on to a year 2

littlewhitebag Fri 20-Sep-13 20:58:06

What exactly do you mean by 'strangle' and did this happen this time or the last time 2 years ago? And what do the orange and the 3 year old have to do with anything? confused

ghostspirit Fri 20-Sep-13 21:00:40

lat time 2 years ago??? what you mean... it just seemed it was more important to talk to him about an orange than it was about what he had done to my child... but as others have said i guess if i was still around it would have been difficult

Vivacia Fri 20-Sep-13 21:01:34

It was the three year old's orange that the year six was eating, I think.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Fri 20-Sep-13 21:05:23

Your son was strangled. That is very bad and yes, kick off about that. I would follow it up with head in a week and ask for confirmation that the strangler has been spoken to and your 6yr old apologised to.

lizzzyyliveson Fri 20-Sep-13 21:06:37

Send the Head an email asking for a follow-up to your verbal complaint. It is a serious matter as the breakfast club staff should have been aware and they clearly weren't. Mention that your child does not feel safe at the school now. This will flag to the Head that you are unhappy and that you will be ticking the wrong boxes if Ofsted arrive.

littlewhitebag Fri 20-Sep-13 21:07:18

But i still don't actually know what happened. Strangle is a very emotive work. He obviously did not kill your DS so did he hold him tightly, what did he use, was your son injured, was it a game? So much more information needed here.

ghostspirit Fri 20-Sep-13 21:09:33

thank you lizzyy i will do that.

littlewhitebag no he was not killed that does not mean he was not hurt though. you dont say lets wait till his dead then i will complain...

littlewhitebag Fri 20-Sep-13 21:12:07

No, i don't mean that at all, but strangle can mean so many things and i have no idea what actually happened. I work in a job where i need to get to the bottom of things and find out exact details. I could never, ever accept the notion of 'strangling' without being precise about what happened.

Vivacia Fri 20-Sep-13 21:13:28

It's curious that the staff did not notice, but the OP did. Why didn't you stop the Strangler?

ghostspirit Fri 20-Sep-13 21:13:39

well i asked my son to show me what he did on my arm and her got both his hands and squeezed my arm really hard...

littlewhitebag Fri 20-Sep-13 21:14:43

I assume this was around the neck. Is he marked at all?

ghostspirit Fri 20-Sep-13 21:16:58

not now but this was between 7.45 and 8.30

poppingin1 Fri 20-Sep-13 21:17:06

Oh my god!

A child strangled yours shock

When i see threads like this one it makes me nervous about my DD starting school. Thank goodness she is only 2.

ghostspirit Fri 20-Sep-13 21:17:40

oh yes and round the neck

Alisvolatpropiis Fri 20-Sep-13 21:18:11

What the older child did was wrong - Yanbu

Yabu to expect the child to be disciplined in front of you.

littlewhitebag Fri 20-Sep-13 21:19:24

So what marks does your child have? Are they still visible?

ghostspirit Fri 20-Sep-13 21:22:26

yeah i know the discipline cant happen in front of me i get that... I think i had that feeling of my sons been strangled and your talking about an orange.... but yeah i get it

ghostspirit Fri 20-Sep-13 21:22:50

no marks now

littlewhitebag Fri 20-Sep-13 21:26:57

So in fact your child has not been strangled. If he had he would have most certainly had marks on his neck. Do you have a context for what happened? Were they playing? Was one child annoying the other? Was anything said by either child?

Smartiepants79 Fri 20-Sep-13 21:34:37

To be fair without knowing anything about the other child or any corroboration from the breakfast club staff I'd be going in a bit more carefully.
What had happened before the strangling incident? Had there been an argument? Was just out of the blue (unlikely). In my experience yr 6 kids have little or no interest in 6 yr olds unless provoked.
Does the yr 6 child have SEN?
I would never discipline a child in public especially without doing a bit of investigating first.

ghostspirit Fri 20-Sep-13 21:34:50

my son cried and the other child had his hands round his neck and squeezed thats enough.... it dont matter if there are no longer marks does not make it ok or mean that the child should get away wit what he done

Sirzy Fri 20-Sep-13 21:37:13

To be fair you have one side of the story here, and from a young child who may not be the most reliable.

yes raise it with the school but wait until the full story has been established before jumping to any conclusions.

ghostspirit Fri 20-Sep-13 21:37:52

no my 6 year old does not have sen. they were playing some sort of board game and the game had finished so my son went to set it up again then the older boy strangled him. I don't think a year 6 has to be provoked

littlewhitebag Fri 20-Sep-13 21:40:31

I never said the other child should get away with anything if he has behaved badly. However, using the term 'strangle' is very emotive. I am trying to work out the context of what has happened.
It may be that your son misconstrued the older child playing or the older child was maybe being mean, however, as smartiepants79 said, there needs to be some investigation of what actually occurred before any disciplining is carried out.

ghostspirit Fri 20-Sep-13 21:42:25

yes that is fair enough about it being looked at... if i should not called putting his hands round my sons neck and squeezing it strangling. then what should i call it ?

Smartiepants79 Fri 20-Sep-13 21:45:39

I asked does the older Yr 6 child have SEN. Not your son.
In my 10 yr teaching experience it is very unusual for a child to attack another child in this fashion without some kind of reason.
I'm not questioning that your son was injured. I'm just wondering, as any self-respecting Head teacher would, WHY he has been injured.
What preceded the attack? Are there any extenuating circumstances? The answer to these questions would determine how the older child was dealt with.

littlewhitebag Fri 20-Sep-13 21:47:16

The definition of strangulation as far as i understand would be 'death by constriction of the windpipe'. That is not what you are talking about. Therefore i would not call it strangulation. I might say that a child put their hands round my child's neck.

ghostspirit Fri 20-Sep-13 21:51:37

oh sorry smarties... The year 6 child could have i dont really know him.. he is in same class as my older son i do he has problems in class. is sent out alot and my older son said 3 teachers had to tell him to get out of the classroom for being discructive. and there are often complaints about the same boy. so yes could have i guess

AgentZigzag Fri 20-Sep-13 21:52:02

It is a very specific thing for your DS to say though isn't it?

And very worrying if a yr 6 did that to a yr 2, putting your hands round someone's neck is a very deliberate act.

But like the other posters have said, it's better to believe your DS in front of him but reserve total judgement until you've heard what the adults there say about it.

YANBU to be fuming on your DS's behalf though, how is he?

fixlepix Fri 20-Sep-13 21:54:34

Firstly, I hope you little one was ok I imagine that must have been a terrifying experience for him/her, I would also like to know if the older child has SN and the biggest question on my mind is why on earth the breakfast club staff weren't supervising the children in their care more, well, carefully!!! And as for the suggestion above that he didn't need to be in breakfast club and it's your choice as a mother well that's down to whatever your circumstances may be so that comment is just ridiculous.

In short yanbu to be pissed off I'd be fucking livid, yabu to expect the child to be disciplined with you there. The head teacher would have to gather all of the information before anything could be done

littlewhitebag Fri 20-Sep-13 21:54:45

I don't disagree that this needs to be looked into but you need to reserve judgement until you find out the full story. I hope you get to the bottom of it soon.

ghostspirit Fri 20-Sep-13 21:55:14

i just asked my son when he did it could you breath he said no... and i just asked what sound was you making and he made a coughing/chocking sound so i think that is strangling..

Sirzy Fri 20-Sep-13 21:56:41

So you got a phone call to take your son to hospital then I assume?

Otherwise I would say the more you post the more it sounds like he is exaggerating!

AgentZigzag Fri 20-Sep-13 22:01:54

I'm confused now fixle, I think the post saying he didn't need to be at the breakfast club was saying he shouldn't be there because the poster read the OP as the DS being 'strangled' when he was there two years ago and it's not on for him to have to put up with it, rather than he went two years ago and was 'strangled' this morning.

I think, it can read both ways, I presumed it was this morning, it'd be a bit late the OP getting round to complaining two years after it.

ghostspirit Fri 20-Sep-13 22:07:58

zigzag yes your right. sorry it was not very clear... and yes would be a bit odd to complain about something that happend 2 years ago

WorraLiberty Fri 20-Sep-13 22:37:10

The head is probably waiting to speak to the breakfast club staff before taking any action.

Fucking hell if I found out this were true I'd go bonkers at them, could have killed him! I would make sure the Year 6 child was completely aware of this and what their actions could have caused!

fixlepix Sat 21-Sep-13 10:42:56

Ahh makes more sense now smile

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