To let ds do his special head rub to other babies?

(42 Posts)
froken Thu 19-Sep-13 20:22:15

Ds is 9 months old, he has started liking other babies.

We go out to different groups most days, he has started doing a special strange head rub thing to other babies. He crawls up to them, puts his head down and leans his head on the other baby's head.

He doesn't bite or push them over, he is gentle but it is invading the other babies personal space.

I think (hope) that the head rub is actually a cuddle, I always put my head close to his whilst cuddling him and dp sniffs ds's head when he cuddles him.

A couple of times the child at the recieving end of the head rub has become upset and I have immediatly taken ds away, normally the child just looks at ds.

Some of the little children pinch/bite/hit, I am aware that that is compleatly normal behaviour in small children. The parents follow them around saying "no we don't bite/hit/pinch"

Should I also be telling ds "no we don't head rub with other people"?

Aah, it sounds really sweet! It also sounds as if you are managing it well, taking him away if the other baby doesn't like it.

But you are right that it is invading their space, and others might not agree with me.

JaneFonda Thu 19-Sep-13 20:24:31

That sounds absolutely adorable.

Honestly, there is no point trying to discipline a 9 month old - he is tiny, and just won't understand!

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Thu 19-Sep-13 20:25:10

The head rub sounds spot on to me. He sounds like a lovely, sociable little boy.

SeaSickSal Thu 19-Sep-13 20:25:28

No, I would let him do it. I wouldn't have minded. I think the children that get upset would probably get upset by any contact with another baby.

That sounds so so cute and I also agree with Jane he is too tiny to be told not to do it! smile

hettienne Thu 19-Sep-13 20:27:00

I'd let him do it but be quick to intervene if the other baby looks unhappy.

Melonbreath Thu 19-Sep-13 20:27:15

Just let him do his thing and if he narks off babies remove him. It's more polite than my dd who crawls up to anyone big or small and jams her finger up their nose

olidusUrsus Thu 19-Sep-13 20:28:10

Yy he's too small to be disclipined. Let him do it and if the recipient baby isn't very pleased then gently steer him away.

Lcbirdy Thu 19-Sep-13 20:28:30

My dd is also 9 months. She has funny little ways with other babies too. I usually just ask the parent of the other baby if they're ok with it. Nobody has said no!

He sounds gorgeous, btw!

BrokenSunglasses Thu 19-Sep-13 20:30:10

It does sound cute! There's no pont telling him not to do it, you'd be saying things for the benefit of other mothers, not your baby.

As long as you are close by and you move your ds if one of the babies is looking like they will grumble, then stop worrying and just smile at how sweet your baby is.

hoppingmad Thu 19-Sep-13 20:33:37

Ah bless, but be warned it might turn into a headbutt. Dts used to do this, now it's a headbutt - not so cute hmm

froken Thu 19-Sep-13 20:37:48

I'm glad it is seen as ok smile I will watch carefully and see if it turns into a headbut!

He has also started trying to put his fingers in other people's mouths, I think because I am forever putting my fingers in his mouth to check for new teeth. I am sure a couple of little bites will stop him doing that!

I think I would stop him doing it.

If he's leaning into the other child he is potentially putting his weight onto them, which really wouldn't be nice for them especially if they are smaller/ weaker.

Can you not try and teach him something less space invading?

elcranko Fri 20-Sep-13 00:06:00

Aw he sounds so cute and affectionate!

My DD pulls my hair during cuddles, I think she needs to take some tips from your DS grin

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Fri 20-Sep-13 00:12:55

It sounds quite sweet smile

However, I'd stop him now (and no, he's not too young to start learning 'no') as it could easily turn into headbutting by accident. Or on purpose! It's easier to stop it now when it has only just begun.

BopsX3 Fri 20-Sep-13 00:13:53

awww that is cute! just carry on as you are smile

My DS (also 9mo) likes to grab peoples noses or grabs and sucks their tops grin

WafflyVersatile Fri 20-Sep-13 00:14:20

He's a 9 month old exploring his world, same as the other babies. Leave him be, unless the other baby looks upset, same as you are doing and same as you would do with any other behaviour.

Do you have a cat OP? My cat does this grin

valiumredhead Fri 20-Sep-13 08:25:57

That sounds so sweetsmile

Thepowerof3 Fri 20-Sep-13 08:43:26

He's welcome to give my 9 month old a head rub, sounds cute

CrazyOldCatLady Fri 20-Sep-13 08:49:45

Ds used to do this, I honestly do think he picked it up from out cats. as long as he was gentle we left him to it. He was just being affectionate. We were always beside him and never let him hurt anyone. Now he likes to give other kids hugs and kisses, especially if they're crying.

lottiegarbanzo Fri 20-Sep-13 08:51:47

Fingers in your mouth is a normal stage and sign of affection. Doesn't go down so well with other people!

Dd has always tried to interact with other babies and toddlers, with mixed success. She used to touch faces, which didn't go well and I'm always hovering to remove her if they dislike it or she 'hits' instead of stroking. They learn and get gentler through practice.

SoupDragon Fri 20-Sep-13 08:55:52

Think about how you would have felt had a bigger baby/child come up to yours and did the same thing. Some people would be horrified at a bigger child coming up to their little baby - I know I would have been appalled had a child done things to DS1 that DS1 did to DS2 smile

There's nothing wrong with it but just be aware others may see a large baby looming over their littler one. Depends on the age of the babies he's doing it to really smile

Thepowerof3 Fri 20-Sep-13 09:06:25

Some people could do with the help getting a grip

stella69x Fri 20-Sep-13 09:08:23

I would hope he grows out of it thou coz I have 1 word for you - nits!

Cluffyflump Fri 20-Sep-13 09:10:05

Awwwww
That is so cute smile

Squitten Fri 20-Sep-13 09:10:14

Wouldn't bother me. I would stop him doing anything potentially dangerous like putting fingers in the mouth though - that could get nasty very quickly for both of them!

Finola1step Fri 20-Sep-13 09:11:36

Sounds like he is exploring and it's an attempt at a cuddle or "nuzzling in". Don't worry about it.

Sounds like a lovely little cuddle to me. My boy has only just started cuddling and kissing at 17 months, and it mostly involves a gentle rubbing headbutt!

Dorris83 Fri 20-Sep-13 10:20:44

I must be in the minority but I would find that bizarre if a 9 month old did that to my baby. It sounds very sweet but is be worried he might mistakely kneel on my baby, bang heads or otherwise unintentionally hurt him.
I think I'd be ok if you we're right there next to him and said something like 'gentle' becuse I would know that you were involved and would feel better, but if he came over to my non mobile baby and you weren't around I'd probably gently distrat him and move him away (which is what I tend to do when older babies are likely to crawl directly over my baby.)

StElmo Fri 20-Sep-13 10:51:41

OMG. That was so BORING!

Crowler Fri 20-Sep-13 10:54:48

You're actually making me want a baby, so YABU.

SkodaLabia Fri 20-Sep-13 11:00:04

DD would have HATED that and wailed for ages, so, cute though it may be, some babies don't like have their personal space invaded when they're happily minding their own business. smile

I read the title and thought "wow, this baby does Indian head massages?!"
blush grin

edam Fri 20-Sep-13 11:08:53

Sounds just like ds and our cat - they do enjoy rubbing heads. grin But some other babies will not like it. You seem to be doing the right thing by taking ds away if another baby is upset.

Thepowerof3 Fri 20-Sep-13 13:39:35

Try and only let him do it to babies with older siblings, you'll be able to tell!

froken Fri 20-Sep-13 14:20:59

The groups that we go to are split into babies who can move and babies who can't move. The youngest babiesin his group are 6 months but moving.

I wouldn't let him do it to a teeny baby!

We don't have a cat and he has never really seen a cat, those people with cats and babies who head rub each other are very lucky what a cute thing!

Mojavewonderer Fri 20-Sep-13 14:32:30

Aww sounds so cute smile

Teapigging Fri 20-Sep-13 14:34:59

Mine was more of an eye-gouged at that age...

Teapigging Fri 20-Sep-13 14:35:15

Gouger. Grr.

TarkaTheOtter Fri 20-Sep-13 15:58:22

I would say something like "aww gently, X" so the other parent knew I was watching but no I wouldn't stop it unless it upset the other baby.

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