about Christmas thread rudeness?

(79 Posts)
froken Thu 19-Sep-13 19:19:18

Recently more and more Christmas threads have been popping up in AIBU. Yes we all know it is September but the people posting obviously care about the issue they are posting about.

On every thread there allways seems to be a couple of people popping us saying "yabu to even think about christmas in September" "I don't even think about Christmas untill after 9pm on the 24th of December" and the worst "there is a Christmas thread you should post in there instead of in AIBU"

The threads are clearly marked as containing Christmas bassed issues but still some people who have a hatred of early Christmas planning open the thread, read the thread and then post a rude reply. I have seen this happen on threads with fairly sensertive content.

The idea that all Christmas bassed AIBU should be in the Christmas thread is really mean in my opinion. No one goes onto a thread where the person has written something like "AIBU to be worried that my 6 year has no friends at school?" and says "ummm you do know there is an education topic, you should post there not in AIBU"

Many people don't need to plan Christmas in advance, some people do need to plan Christmas in advance. I need to book flights, dp will need to book time off work, there are complex family issues behind who is where on Christmas day. I don't think I (and other posters who need to plan Christmas in advance) should feel like we are offending people by asking questions about our issues.

AIBU to think that if you don't want to think/read about Christmas in September then don't open threads with the word Christmas in the title?

AdmiralData Thu 19-Sep-13 19:22:31

YANBU, I understand what you're saying. I don't like hearing about weddings as mine was ruined ergo I don't read threads about weddings. Some people are just rude smile

asmallandnoisymonkey Thu 19-Sep-13 19:23:55

I agree with you. I think anyone that posts anything remotely similar to "yabu to even contemplate Christmas in September" should very probably just not bother opening the thread in the first place.

Those comments are far more irritating than any thread about Christmas at any time of the year.

I happen to be one of those people that can easily talk about Christmas in January and not think it's a heinous crime.

Yama Thu 19-Sep-13 19:23:57

YANBU You said it all really.

FlapJackFlossie Thu 19-Sep-13 19:25:03

I don't read the Christmas topic. So go on there !

Yes, I am one of the 'rude ones' grin

ParvatiTheWitch Thu 19-Sep-13 19:25:23

YANBU OP, on this topic. I hate all mention of Christmas at this time of year, I don't feel like I can face fucking Christmas (can I put those two words together?) this year etc, but yes, I just don't open the threads, never mind post on them.

Maybe i should start my own "Fuck off Christmas" thread to divert all those posters who would post negatively on a positive thread grin

YABU, there is a Christmas thread you know? wink

thebody Thu 19-Sep-13 19:26:37

how about an Easter thread? grin

gamerchick Thu 19-Sep-13 19:28:12

Some people just go looking for something to bitch about.. a quick scroll later..........

I get slapped down on facebook over Christmas.. because I always start in July and like to TIC wind them up by mentioning it. Even my mother can set the date when it comes to September and I can set loose.

I love Christmas me grin

meditrina Thu 19-Sep-13 19:30:09

YABU - threads before the start of Advent about Christmas should go in "Christmas" where all those who like early preparations can hang out, and which can be hidden (until December, or permanently) by those at don't want to see it all for months on end.

Threads placed elsewhere are very likely to get flamed. Not because of the content of the thread, but because if the inconsiderate choice of where to out it. It's one of the few subjects on which the Thread a police have general support.

tethersend Thu 19-Sep-13 19:32:00

YABU- the mere mention of Christmas in active Convos makes many of us break out in a cold sweat grin

asmallandnoisymonkey Thu 19-Sep-13 19:32:15

Oh blimey, Meditrina's laid down the Christmas thread law, everyone.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Thu 19-Sep-13 19:33:40

YANBU there are some in fact many, thread titles I read that and think fuck that, can't be arsed/no interest/can't help so I don't click on them. I dont see why others can't simply do the same rather than commenting and being arsey for the sake of it.

TidyDancer Thu 19-Sep-13 19:36:33

OP has pretty much said it all as far as I am concerned.

If you don't like the subject of a thread, don't bloody open it.

The thread police are far more annoying than those posting about Christmas.

TidyDancer Thu 19-Sep-13 19:36:56

Oh, and YANBU, just to be clear!

UnicornsNotRiddenByGrownUps Thu 19-Sep-13 19:41:21

YANBU i love Christmas. I just feel sorry for all the grinch like Christmas haters. Poor things.

I started Xmas shopping two weeks ago.smile Partly because we are skint and I like to spread the cost (or at least that's what I tell DH as I roll about in wrapping paper and tinsel smile)

froken Thu 19-Sep-13 19:44:01

I just don't understand why people who object to Christmas posts can't just let those who want to discuss Christmas get on with it and move onto the next thread. It comes across as very egotistical to say I don't want to think about Christmas so I want you to stop talking about it.

EllesAngel Thu 19-Sep-13 19:46:55

Fuck christmas thread law.

It's a bit late to be posting in December to ask if YABU in not wanting the in-laws all descending for christmas with their five dogs, 3 cats, 6 lizards and 4 cockatiels when said in-laws have already brought the subject up in September and made arrangements because OP didn't say no then.

Some issues relating to christmas need dealing with as and when they arise which may well be months earlier.

ghostspirit Thu 19-Sep-13 19:47:36

i think people just have a pop because they enjoy it passes a bit of time

ParvatiTheWitch Thu 19-Sep-13 19:48:05

The "Fuck off Christmas" thread is now officially open grin.

froken Thu 19-Sep-13 19:51:57

I would imagine that the anti christmas posters are possibly also the spelling mistake police.

everydayaschoolday Thu 19-Sep-13 19:52:33

YANBU. I think you presented your view very well, and I agree.

kinkyfuckery Thu 19-Sep-13 19:55:54


AlannaPartridge Thu 19-Sep-13 19:57:11

This happened to me last year. I posted something in November about Christmas & was told off by a couple of the better known posters. I asked them why the fuck they opened a thread about Christmas if they were sick of seeing threads about Christmas in November?!

I think they then did their usual thing of huddling into a little gang of head-tilting & are you all right, OP's? Originality not being their strongest point.

Ignore 'em. Post what you like, when you like.

StuntGirl Thu 19-Sep-13 20:03:11

If you're posting here it's not to 'discuss Christmas'. It's to ask if YABU/YANBU!

Oh, and YANBU!!

cardibach Thu 19-Sep-13 20:04:16

YABU as Christmas threads interrupt the natural order of the thread list at this time of year.
Unicorns I am not a 'Christmas hater' - I bloody love it. In December, where it belongs, and so I don't get jaded before the day. Just look at the threads in the few weeks before Christmas - lots about being stressed and fed up with it all. That's because it's been talked about and fretted about for far too long.

sameoldIggi Thu 19-Sep-13 20:11:52

There is a difference between threads such as "AIBU to not want to spend Christmas with my axe-murdering BIL again " and ones such as "AIBU to only put 5 presents in pfb's Christmas Eve hamper this year". IMO. Which is obviously what counts grin

froken Thu 19-Sep-13 20:13:23

Cardibach the people who don't want to read the Christmas threads can just look at page 2 of AIBU if they feel like there are not enough un-christmassy threads to read.

I don't think the Christmas thread people would be posting other more seasonal threads (worrying about the harvist festival?) if christmas threads were banned in September.

IsaacCox Thu 19-Sep-13 20:21:03

YANBU. There are threads all over the place in the 'wrong' topic, no one says anything about them. I just don't open them if I'm not interested. I get pissed off with people saying to post it elsewhere all the time.

Lcbirdy Thu 19-Sep-13 20:33:31

Thank you!

I am new to posting, but have been on mn for a couple of weeks. It makes me really sad (sometimes angry) for ops who are blasted by people who KNEW the subject before opening the thread. We all have choices to make. Take responsibility for your own reactions to things you CHOOSE to read.

elQuintoConyo Thu 19-Sep-13 20:46:31

Just as I don't open S&B threads titled 'what are we wearing today' and post 'DH's arse as a hat' because I think they are ridiculous.

DifferentNow Thu 19-Sep-13 21:04:48


grin PMSL @ elQuintoConyo. So true.

usualsuspect Thu 19-Sep-13 21:08:03


Christmas threads get on my tits.

londone17 Thu 19-Sep-13 21:10:37

Yanbu. It's only 14 weeks away. I'm almost ready for it.

CatAmongThePigeons Thu 19-Sep-13 21:15:02

grin at ElQuinto

AnneUulmelmahay Thu 19-Sep-13 21:16:45


Christmas is a sad or difficult time for lots, HQ agreed to create a Christmas topic so that the whole topic can be hidden by those who find it triggering or upsetting, and the jolly Christmas lovers can have an absolute ball over there.

It's just asking for a bit of kindness, mindfulness really.

That's all

LynetteScavo Thu 19-Sep-13 21:19:25


If you need to book flights and time off, you don't need to discuss them in the Christmas topic.

Planning Christmas early is just silly.

When I run If I ran MN, I would remove the Christmas topic between 1th January, and 31st October.

I take full responsibility for my reaction to this thread. hmm

LynetteScavo Thu 19-Sep-13 21:22:20

Actually, I think I may well hide the Christmas topic, before, for yet another year I am convinced I am the only mother in the UK who doesn't present my DC with a hamper full of goodies on Christmas eve.

usualsuspect Thu 19-Sep-13 21:30:08

My children are the only children on MN who have never had a pair of Christmas pjs.

froken Thu 19-Sep-13 21:40:29

I wouldn't start an aibu to say "hi everyone, just booked my flights home for Christmas, thats all, continue with your late summer/early autumn activities" but I might start a thread that was "aibu to consider flying into London and then driving for 5 hours on Christmas eve, is it going to be traffic chaos?" because that is relevant to me right now and will influence which flight I will book.

Most of the early Christmas threads are far from jolly, most aibu to do with Christmas are actually just a family/financial/relationship aibu that just so happens to have Christmas as the backdrop.

I agree that it is a little too early to have aibu to buy a plastic Christmas tree type threads, but if people are not interested in a post it will just go unanswered.

I really wish that I could sit back and wait till early December to decide what to do for Christmas but if I did that I wouldn't have any choice because tickets would be too expensive and the family drama would be too explosive.

Mintyy Thu 19-Sep-13 21:50:06

Yabu! Christmas threads belong in the Christmas topic and 80% of all other threads in AIBU belong in other topics.

I don't care if this makes me the thread police/uptight or anal.

Mnhq have created all these different topics and one of the great benefits of this is so that people can customise Mumsnet to see mainly what is of interest to them. With coming up to a million users now, surely 99/100 threads are of no interest to any particular user. Users should be able to customise. Otherwise it all becomes too tedious.

So I hide all Armed Forces Sweethearts threads, and all the antenatal and ttc threads, and Relationships when I don't want to be thoroughly depressed.

If I choose to hide the Christmas threads, then I expect them to stay hidden. Not crop up all over the fucking shop.

tethersend Thu 19-Sep-13 21:56:20

Not just yours,,usual...

<reports self>

PeppiNephrine Thu 19-Sep-13 21:57:10

It depends. The super early obsessing about stupid aspects of one day are annoying, and they are also symptomatic of a recent bizarre overinvolvement in Christmas that is seeping into half of the year.
Going on and on about bloody Christmas fromAugust onwards is just ruining the fun of it for a lot of people. By november we are sick of the fucking word, let alone the angst.

usualsuspect Thu 19-Sep-13 22:02:30

I've never done that weirdy elf on the shelf stuff either.

Mintyy Thu 19-Sep-13 22:02:46

You said it Peppi.

I don't know. I agree that some Christmas threads are actually "AIBU to get stressed about this family get-together in a few months' time where I anticipate that my parents will start gaslighting me again" and it could just as easily be about a December christening or something; whereas "AIBU to spend £500 on a Christmas present for my 6mo PFB?" can fuck off to Christmas topic.

froken Thu 19-Sep-13 22:10:41

Wouldn't it be better if those people looking to only readtthreads on specific topics didn't read the more general unspecified topics rather than read the aibu page, see something they are uninterested in, open the thread, read the thread and then post a reply on the thread.

Lots of issues are triggering. Some people have had traumatic births, some people have had failed marriages, some people were bullied at school, I don't believe that should prevent people from posting about birth/weddings/schools and I don't see why Christmas would be singled out and 'policed" by some posters.

LadyBeagleEyes Thu 19-Sep-13 22:15:54

So what's the point of a Christmas topic then, if you all want to come over here.
Anyway we haven't had the Halloween is American-I don't let my children beg etc. etc, yet.
Surely that should come first.

Mintyy Thu 19-Sep-13 22:20:30

I just click hide on 95% of the Christmas threads that crop up. But after doing that 95 times, I might feel, oh I don't know, a tiny bit irritated with the other 5 threads. I wouldn't read them though! Would just wade in and suggest that people might like to take their unseasonal chat elsewhere.

AnneUulmelmahay Thu 19-Sep-13 22:21:49

It's really lovely that you had a think about my post and took onboard the reasons why HQ decided to make a specific topic smile

tethersend Thu 19-Sep-13 22:23:20

Elf on the shelf? WTF is that??

AnneUulmelmahay Thu 19-Sep-13 22:26:30


Christmas eve hamper? Um why???

New pyjamas? Again, why?

Now if you wanna talk fondant potatoes, then I'm your go-to person.

usualsuspect Thu 19-Sep-13 22:35:06

I dunno what the elf on a shelf thing is,I've only ever seen it in MN land.

YY ,I'm so looking forward to the Halloween and Bonfire night threads. Not

"AIBU not to take the DC to the Bonfire Night party since it falls on my EDD?"

"AIBU not to take the DC trick or treating because I'll be bouncing on my birthing ball in my comfortable pyjamas eating parkin?"

AnneUulmelmahay Thu 19-Sep-13 22:41:40

God I love parkin

Parkin is better than Christmas cake.

Ergo Bonfire Night is better than Christmas.

Mintyy Thu 19-Sep-13 22:46:02

Yes, I would be blissfully ignorant about elf-on-the-shelf, Christmas Eve pyjamas and now this new pile of nonsense the Christmas Eve hamper (ffs) if it wasn't for Mumsnet.

I "do" Christmas in 3 weeks and we all have a lovely time. I reckon we might spend about £4-500 more than in a usual month, so that takes some planning for, but afaiac, people who are discussing what they are having for a starter 3 months in advance are just deathly dull.

colourmehappytheresasofainhere Thu 19-Sep-13 22:53:09

Yanbu! Fuck off thread police, frankly. Ruins things. Sigh.

londone17 Thu 19-Sep-13 22:58:51

Well said.

Well I haven't started any threads but have been watching the bargain threads and am happy to click on a thread if it looks interesting. I have a baby due in December so need to have finished my Christmas shopping before then. If that makes me deathly dull then so be it. Couldn't give a stuff what you or anyone else thinks. I happen to find the thread police deathly dull. If you don't want to see it, why click on it?

KoalaFace Fri 20-Sep-13 08:37:22


There is a weddings board but everyone still loves a bit of wedding action in AIBU.

And weddings can be very triggering too you know.

There are plenty of reasons on MN to show annoyance. But a question from someone about a fraught family situation that will be exacerbated at Christmas isn't one of them.

SunshineMMum Fri 20-Sep-13 10:25:21

YANBU I have nearly finished my Christmas shopping and I have wrapped it grin

PeppiNephrine Fri 20-Sep-13 10:35:08

Lazy posters ruin things for the rest of us. There are topics for a reason, you're not such a special flower that they don't apply to you.
Its months away, and its just not that important. Early christmas chatterers are the worlds dullest people, do you not have anything else on between now and then?

guiltyconscience Fri 20-Sep-13 11:38:33

Usual mine too ! They never even heard of a hamper on xmas eve hehe !

guiltyconscience Fri 20-Sep-13 11:39:13

Sunshine I could really get to dislike you lol!

SunshineMMum Fri 20-Sep-13 11:39:55

grin I know I sometimes dislike myself!

LazyMonkeyButler Fri 20-Sep-13 12:02:51

Thread Police make me angry TBH.

I don't read the threads with Christmas in the title, because it is September.

I don't find it difficult not to click on them though.

Just because some posters are better known/have been around longer doesn't make them god. Individual posters have no right to be saying what topics other posters can have an AIBU question about.

AIBU, by it's very nature covers all topics. Unless you are using it to gloat about your Christmassy readiness & don't actually have an AIBU question. Then you deserve shooting.

guiltyconscience Fri 20-Sep-13 12:04:30

Lazy you sound bitter my dear

DownstairsMixUp Fri 20-Sep-13 12:05:23

I dont think YABU. Just don't reply to the thread if you don't want to read about xmas! Some of us (like me) start planning xmas early as it helps with money. I find if i scrabble with presents in december i panic/can't afford things. I start buying in september and by xmas I'm the smug one nearly all done grin

LazyMonkeyButler Fri 20-Sep-13 12:09:24

Not bitter. Well maybe just a little. I despise bullying & childish behaviour (from adults) which is what all the "ooo - your thread is in the wrong place, waa waa" basically is.

guiltyconscience Fri 20-Sep-13 12:12:46

I see what you mean Lazy, it's all anon on on here so ppl get away with stuff they wouldn't even dream of doing/saying in RL take it all with a pinch of salt most of the mns esp here this am have been lovely and very funny. Think we have to get to know who to bounce off and who to avoid like t'plague.

LazyMonkeyButler Fri 20-Sep-13 12:13:31

Very true guilty.

HotCrossPun Fri 20-Sep-13 12:16:34



StuntGirl Fri 20-Sep-13 12:28:51

There are plenty of reasons on MN to show annoyance. But a question from someone about a fraught family situation that will be exacerbated at Christmas isn't one of them.


Some people get in an absolute grump over Christmas. You know what I do? I ignore 'em. They could take a leaf from my book grin

froken Fri 20-Sep-13 14:51:08

I find it sad that posters are saying they don't even read tge Christmas thread just wade in and post their petty "yabu to be talking about Christmas" what if that thread has sensitive content or a vulnerable op?

It is ok to not want to talk about Christmas early, If you think those who have posted about Christmas are so very dull why do you bother to reply/read their threads? If you don't reply/read the threads how can a word be so offensive? I understand that a few people have upsetting memories of Christmas but I would assume no more than any common aibu subject.

Those people saying it is unreasonable to discuss Christmas hampers and pyjamas have you actually seen aibu to buy my dc's Christmas pyjamas from primark type aibu? All the aibu surrounded Christmas that I have seen have been aibu to say no to the extended family coming for Christmas dinner on my due date and that sort of thing.

usualsuspect Fri 20-Sep-13 15:28:46

Some posters never leave the AIBU topic, so I suppose it's inevitable that they will post about Christmas in there.

PeppiNephrine Fri 20-Sep-13 15:31:19

Sometimes the right answer is yabu to be talking about christmas though. If someone comes on saying "oh I'm so worried about where great aunt muriel is going to sit" or "AIBU to wonder if my sister will bring her new boyfriend to lunch" etc etc, then the absolute correct answer is for fucks sake why are you are stressing about this now? Its months away, get a grip on yourself.
nothing to do with being mean spirited or bah humbug about it.

usualsuspect Fri 20-Sep-13 15:38:20

I quite like Christmas and I do read the Christmas bargain thread.
But I'm quite arsey about any thread being posted in AIBU just because the OP never posts anywhere else.

<dons thread police hat>

Trigglesx Fri 20-Sep-13 16:40:16

I don't mind it. But then I love all things Christmas (except the cost!!).

I will say that I feel I've missed something though... parkin is better than Christmas cake? What's parkin? Must do some looking on that..... confused

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