Nose members of the public

(81 Posts)
nesticles Thu 19-Sep-13 13:43:22

DH and I are both blind and very comfortable about talking/answering questions about it. but since having our sighted ds I am getting increasingly angry about one question members of the public ask us "is he blind too?" and when we say no they often go on to ask "was that a fear?". I litterally see red lol and often find it hard not to flip my lid. I know people have questions as we do things differently like pull our buggy and have Guide dogs but really? am I being unreasonable? DH things I might just be a bit over sensative. Am I? or is it a rather rude question?

nesticles Thu 19-Sep-13 13:44:42

Ooops subject should read Nosey members of the public.

CoffeeTea103 Thu 19-Sep-13 13:47:08

YANBU, it's rude to ask these questions. Of course you would not have wanted this for your DS so don't understand the need to ask.

FobblyWoof Thu 19-Sep-13 14:30:36

YANBU- it is very rude but I don't think most people will mean it in the way that it sounds. They just probably don't engage their brains. Doesn't make it much better though!

YouTheCat Thu 19-Sep-13 14:33:22

People are bloody rude sometimes.

They need to engage their brains before opening their big stupid mouths.

nesticles Thu 19-Sep-13 14:46:26

Lol, I get that people don't think. I think the reason it bothers me is that other people care and the emediat asumption is that two blind people will automatically make a child with the same disability. dh and I don't feel that we miss out on anything being blind and feel that it wouldn't've mattered either way for ds. If he had been born blind who better placed to raise a blind child than blind parents? I have no problem with people asking anything else and will gladly answer anything from "can your Guide dog read?" to "how do you do your job?" and even from a friend of a friend "how do you have sex?". I think I would understand it if DS was a child who doesn't make eye contact...but I've been told he's the nosiestst little boy going and is constantly looking around when in the carrier or buggy.

BeKindToYourKnees Thu 19-Sep-13 14:48:21

grin at "Can your Guide dog read"

Tee2072 Thu 19-Sep-13 14:49:41

They are rude.

If you want to be very very rude back you could reply "Are you afraid you've passed on your rudeness to yours?"

But I am very mean.

YouTheCat Thu 19-Sep-13 14:50:41

That's a fair point, Nesticles, about who being better placed to raise a blind child.

I had a friend when I was 10. Both his parents were deaf. It never occurred to me that him and his brother should be too. hmm

VanitasVanitatum Thu 19-Sep-13 14:51:39

So odd the things people wonder! It's really nice of you to so patiently answer the questions. Can see why that one would be upsetting, I think you should feel free to explain to people why it upsets you, but calmly.

OctopusPete8 Thu 19-Sep-13 14:51:44

Thats v. rude, some people just have no tact.

mrsfuzzy Thu 19-Sep-13 14:53:09

am i missing something here,someone really asked how you had sex ??? er... seems like they might need help with their sex life, how ARE they doing it ?? the mind boogles....

ThisIsMySpareName Thu 19-Sep-13 15:00:04

I think it depends on how it is said to be honest - whether it is in a "you're mad to have had a kid" way or a genuinely curious, admiring your courage kind of way.

I have a friend who has a type of albinism and while not totally blind is very partially sighted (IIRC, it is so bad that she is actually registered blind). She was terrified that her children would inherit her condition and the first question she asked her DH when they were born was what colour hair did they have.

nesticles Thu 19-Sep-13 15:39:04

I think a mother asking if her child has inherited her eye condition and a random stranger asking are two different matters. Mrsfuzzy yep someone honestly asked me that. the most strange question was "How do you know that is your DH? I mean someone could swap places and you'd never know!" I had to laugh at that one.

YouTheCat Thu 19-Sep-13 15:41:48

Well, it'd be a great defence if you chose to have a dalliance. grin

'Oooh sorry dh. I thought it was you'.

Did whoever said that think you wouldn't recognise other things that would signify it was your dh, like his voice etc? confused

ExitPursuedByADragon Thu 19-Sep-13 15:45:46

How do you have sex!

That is hilarious.

thebody Thu 19-Sep-13 15:47:01

anyone who asks such personal questions of anyone else is rude.

why should you have to be happy answering any questions? tell them to bugger the fuck off. that should do it.

as for the sex!!! bloody hell if I turned on the light and saw dh and not Beckham the moment would be lost. grin

YouTheCat Thu 19-Sep-13 15:48:20

OP, you need to think up some elaborate equipment and positions and shock them into shutting the hell up. grin

MaidOfStars Thu 19-Sep-13 15:48:25

I research inherited blindness conditions so am literally dying to be nosy here...

I think there might be a tendency for people to assume all blindness is the same generic disorder, when it's far more likely that you and your husband are blind in entirely different ways and that neither is necessarily an inherited form.

So I'd go for "ignorance" plus "curiosity" equals "apparent rudeness".

How are you working this board? A funky speech thing? One that informs you of spelling mistakes.... smile Can it process smilies?

MaidOfStars Thu 19-Sep-13 15:49:16

^ Not "literally dying", that's not true. And I am the first to get annoyed at overuse of "literally"...

PeterParkerSays Thu 19-Sep-13 15:50:38

"No he isn't blind, he's just really contagious" or just go for the straightforward "how terribly rude!"

I'm amazed that people think you're such public property that they can ask these questions. My DH is a foot taller than me, so I guess people could also ask how we have sex, but they haven't, because it would be rude and an inappropriate question.

Saffyz Thu 19-Sep-13 15:50:48

"Was that a fear?"

"No, it was a rude question"

MadBusLady Thu 19-Sep-13 15:53:50

grin "how do you have sex?" seriously? If I lost my sight that is literally* the only thing I can think of that I'd do exactly the same as I do now.

* properly literally

SofiaAmes Thu 19-Sep-13 16:12:10

nesticles, I don't find that question rude or odd. But I think that it is very much an issue of culture and custom. I am American and live in California (and come from a family full of scientists). When I lived in England, I found myself forever offending people with questions and comments that would be totally normal and acceptable here. In fact, in some cases, people might my be offended that someone didn't ask the question here.
My ds has a genetic disease and people ask me all the time if dd has it too. I am delighted to be able to pass on information that might help them (ds' disease is highly under-diagnosed and he was 11 before we figured it out). I feel like I'm helping society by answering their questions....as long as the intent is not unkind (which it never seems to be).
When people ask you that question, do you think that you could reframe the question in your mind to be one of genuine interest in learning (and not nosiness) and maybe use the opportunity to educate the questioner about the science and practicality of blindness.

MadBusLady Thu 19-Sep-13 16:29:11

I'm sure she could reframe the question like that, but why should she? Being blind doesn't make it her job to educate other people about blindness, not even if it improves the world by a few grains. Sometimes I like to educate people about depression and feel in the mood to do it, but other times I'd like them just to fuck off and do some googling for themselves, thanks.

Giving these people the benefit of the doubt maybe they are asking questions in order to educate themselves. But just as likely they are shooting their mouths off in an attempt to be chummy just like a lot of people do when talking babies/fertility/family stuff generally.

limitedperiodonly Thu 19-Sep-13 16:35:23

I don't think YABU but I don't think they're necessarily being rude either. They're probably curious, but clumsy.

Many sighted people have a fear of blindness that probably people who've lived with partial or absence of sight their whole lives, or like my MIL, have developed it in later life, don't have, or at least they don't consider to be the end of the world by a long chalk.

sofia and maidofstars are probably like me. I'm professionally nosy because I'm a journalist. I'm sure I upset people all the time with dumb questions.

Sometimes to avoid all misconception I have to ask really simple questions. If you put me in my place, I'll accept it, as long as you're nice about it smile

I wouldn't have asked the sex question though grin

It's an old one, but my favourite Woody Allen quote is that if reincarnation exists, he wants to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips. wink

I don't know if you're old enough to remember when Warren Beatty was a gorgeous shagger. Or who the modern equivalent would be.

nesticles Thu 19-Sep-13 16:46:33

I don't mind educating people about blindness, I also understand the need to be nice as I might be the first blind person someone's ever come across. I just find that question makes me very angry and I not usually an angry person. Madeof lol I have ROP (was born 16 weeks prem) so lucky to be alive really and DH has Retinal dysplasia. I'm using JAWS (a screen reader) and yes it tells me aboutt smilies but won't let me add them. Peter my dh is a foot taller than me as well...funny how noone has ever asked about how we cope with the height difference lol.

MrsDeVere Thu 19-Sep-13 16:48:58

nesticles I used to work for an organisation for parents with disabilities. I have pretty much hear it all when it comes to crass questions.

I worked particularly with Deaf parents and the questions they were asked were very similar. Why people think they have the right to ask if a baby is Deaf is beyond me.

I had some corkers from professionals.
I used to work on the information line and had HVs calling up in a panic because they had a Deaf mother. 'HOW will she know if the baby is crying!!!?' and one 'the child has picked up the mother's deaf accent, I am very concerned'. I suppose that is marginally better than 'how will the child learn to talk?'

My husband is disabled but no mw or hv expressed any concerns when I had DCs 4 & 5. I suspect it would have been very different if I were the one with the disability.

limitedperiodonly Thu 19-Sep-13 16:54:27

I don't think you have to be an ambassador for all blind people OP, but it's good of you.

If it's not a dumb question, what's ROP, btw?

froken Thu 19-Sep-13 16:59:39

Yanbu. I think that members of the public asking any questions that they wouldn't ask a sighted person ( do you have any weekend plans? Enjoying the warm weather? And that sort of thing) is really rude.

My dp's aunt and uncle are both blind ( coincidently with a sighted son) I often sit with his uncle on the train into tge city as we commute at the same time. He was telling me how people will offer him a seat to which he replies "no thanks I'm just as able to stand as you are" but if there is a problem with the trains and everyone has to get of and change over to buses at an unfamiliar station no one offers him help.

I have a question for you, I now have a 9 month old son, I was chatting to dp's aunt about her ds when he was a baby and asked her how it worked practically when her ds started moving around and crawling/walking away from her. She told me that he was always aware that he needed to stay close to his mum even as a small baby. Do you think it is rude of me to ask that sort of question? I really don't want to be rude, I am just interested.

nesticles Thu 19-Sep-13 17:04:24

ROP is Retinopathy of prematurity. My retinas were dammaged by giving me too much oxygen at birth. Mrsdebere don't even get me started on hvs. I had an IM in order to make sure I didn't have to explain my blindness to every MW each time I had an apt. HV was so concerned about the safeguarding of our unborn child that she called ss who were frankly uninterested and I made a formal complaint about her...new hv is lovely now that i've educated her and has become our champion whenever anyone in her department questions our parenting abilities.

limitedperiodonly Thu 19-Sep-13 17:21:00

Thanks for the explanation nesticles

The rest of your post about your former health visitor is terrible.

It's great that your new one has learned through you, because that's the only way you can become better in your job, or just life generally, and sometimes that's all people are asking for, albeit clumsily.

I understand how you'd get weary of constantly being the educator though. And there's no excuse for rudeness.

nesticles Thu 19-Sep-13 17:21:29

frokenthu- no I'm happy to answer any questions like that but just the is he sighted one gets me going. DS is 7 months old and is crawling. if we're in a friend or family member's house I safety pin some purse bells to the back of his top in between his shoulder blades so he can't reach them. I find that it's usually an unnecessary precaution as he is a noisy little monkey but just gives me comfort. At home he makes enough noise for me not to need them. We have safe places in all the rooms too so I can put him down quickly and know he's safe if the phone rings or bell goes. We also have a play pen mainly for the protection of our two Guide Dogs who he would terrorise given the chance. I don't think ds has no idea he needs to stick to me. The only way he acts different around us is when feeding, we're doing blw and after loading his spoon for him he takes it out of my hand and then gives it back when his finished but with my mum or mil he just chucks the spoon on the floor.

froken Thu 19-Sep-13 17:39:44

The bells are a fab idea! What a clever little boy you have giving the spoon back to you!

It is terrible that you have had all that trouble with your hv. Really shocking.

BatwingsAndButterflies Thu 19-Sep-13 19:28:28

Some people are just pig ignorant. How did it not occur to them (HV) that you would have thought through the implications of parenting with blindness? Its not like it was just sprung upon you.

BrianTheMole Thu 19-Sep-13 19:36:40

You're not unreasonable op, some people are just bloody rude.

DoJo Thu 19-Sep-13 20:52:20

Is it possible that people are asking if your son is blind because they are interacting with him (making funny faces etc as you do with a small baby) and want to check whether he can actually see them? I know it doesn't make it any less rude, but I can see how someone could sort of wonder aloud whilst doing something which they normally would not give a second thought to.

nesticles Fri 20-Sep-13 12:15:03

Lol, yep my Guide dog reads the paper while eating her breakfast. I joke but people really think that. I recently got lost in Leicester square and asked someone for directions and they got out a map bent down and started talking to the dog and showing her the way on the map. I was a bit pissed and so got the giggles and couldn't stop. The dog couldn't understand what this person was doing so being a lab tried to eat the map. I can see while you might wonder about the faces, but my ds is so responsive to things like that...smiling and giggling that it would be obvious. Batwings you'd think hvs would have used her brain, but no. New hv wanted to be so sure that we would cope she went too much the other way and wanted to know how we'd cope with homework, playing in the park and teaching to drive! The classic question for me was "how will you make sure he gets enough visual stimulation?" like we were the only two people ds would ever come in to contact with! I just have to laugh. excuse the spelling on Iphone.

BrianTheMole Fri 20-Sep-13 12:55:35

No, they didn't show the dog the map? No way? Really? grin

Saffyz Fri 20-Sep-13 13:03:10

Might be worth turning the tables in a jokey way to make them see how ridiculous the questions are.

"Can your dog read?"

"No I'm afraid not. How about you, do you have any pets that can read?"

edam Fri 20-Sep-13 13:10:51

grin at showing your dog the map, that's priceless!

YouTheCat Fri 20-Sep-13 13:14:57

Right I'm going to teach my cat to read. grin

That's is just crackers.

Earthymama Fri 20-Sep-13 13:30:04

I never get the snorting tea thing but I did choke on my apple when I read about the man showing your guide dog the map!!
Still giggling now!!

My friend had a guide dog that was much loved in our town, as was his owner. He said that one Christmas he was visiting friends, in fact doing the rounds, iyswim. in one house they couldn't stop laughing and couldn't talk, they were just rolling around laughing.

Apparently the dog was surreptitiously sneaking the nuts and choccies that everyone had set out in little bowls and no-one wanted to tell his owner as they loved the dog and didn't want to upset their friend. They were all ringing one another to say, keep an eye on him but this one family said the dog's sneaky movements and look of innocence just cracked them up.

My friend was mortified and, of course, asked that they moved all goodies in future as he didn't want a poorly pooch. But that dog was irresistible and when he visited me at work in the library we stocked up on doggie treats and kept the goodies for the humans and the librarians.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Fri 20-Sep-13 13:30:48

grin If the dog had eaten the map, they'd probably have thought that was how she processed the information.

GingerBeerAndTinnedPeaches Fri 20-Sep-13 13:45:09

grin at them showing the dog the map, that is hilarious. Yanbu OP but I guess people will always be curious so it's a good opportunity to educate.

Dobbiesmum Fri 20-Sep-13 13:47:56

I've been lurking on this thread for the past couple of days and am still sniggering at 'how do you have sex'.... Sorry blush

nesticles Fri 20-Sep-13 13:52:10

Yep they really did show the dog the map. Oh god I nearly woke up ds I laughed so hard at my guide dog processing the information by eating the map...but I'm sure thats what this lovely man thought. I've tried asking if they know any dogs that can read but I always get "she's specially trained so I just assumed that would be part of the training?"
Oh god commuting used to be fun before mat leave.

Cluffyflump Fri 20-Sep-13 13:55:57

I'm actually laughing (not 'lol') at your map reading/eating dog grin

You sound very patient!

ExitPursuedByADragon Fri 20-Sep-13 14:01:11

That is quite amazing that at 7 months your DS has learnt how to interact differently with you and others

<impressed>

bashifuku Fri 20-Sep-13 14:07:42

Re: the map thing, my (sighted) MIL trains guide dog puppies. She told me she was in an unfamiliar town centre and asked someone for directions. The person bent down and started telling the puppy. hmm

missorinoco Fri 20-Sep-13 14:12:32

How do you have sex?! Showing the map to the dog?! shock
I despair for the Great British Public. Can I dare you to ask back if they always keep their eyes open during sex. <grin>

Agree with the comment about the people questioning being curious and clumsy. They are likely to also ask if you are trying for a baby, if you are disappointed you have a girl/boy, and will you try for another.......

I wonder about replying, "That's a rather personal question." Otherwise known as how rude, but less obvious, leaving them to work it out themselves, and not able to hide behind that fabulous premise "She's so sensitive." Of course, "How bloody rude," is clearly more satisfying.

NigelMolesworth Fri 20-Sep-13 14:15:24

oh nesticles the dog and the map is the best thing I've read all day...!

Lweji Fri 20-Sep-13 14:17:23

"how do you have sex?".

With the lights on.
Or
With the lights off.

Whatever you prefer.

grin

And still laughing at the dog reading the map.

southbank Fri 20-Sep-13 14:25:16

froken-this really is a genuine question as I was reading your post about your dps aunt and uncle,if someone offers them a seat on a train-as I would do if I was in an easy to access seat-and they are told they are as capable of standing as the person offering the seat is it surprising the same people would be reluctant to offer more assistance with regards to changing train etc.
I really don't want that to sound arsey but surely a simple 'no thanks I'm ok' is all that's needed,if I offered my seat for any reason but was given a response like that I would be unsure about offering help for anything else despite the offer of a seat being nothing to do with the actual ability to stand rather offering someone whose journey may be harder than mine whether that's because of pregnancy.disability,young children,age,luggage etc

I love this thread!

All of this slightly tangentially reminds me of Eric Weihenmayer who I think was the first blind person to climb Everest and he had this theory about sighted people who have this "even I" syndrome.

Here's an Q&A he did about it:

INTERVIEWER: Explain what you mean by the "Even I" syndrome.

WEIHENMAYER: It's funny, because people will come up to me after a presentation, and they'll say, "Man, I think that's so incredible what you did. Even I with two perfectly working eyes couldn't make it up Everest." And I laugh, because here's a guy who lives in Orlando and smokes a pack of cigarettes a day. It's like, "Dude, do you think the difference between success and failure has to do with perfectly working eyes?" It's a compliment in their minds, so I take as that, and laugh. Two good eyes may be part of the equation, but there are so many other qualities that make a person successful, like the skill and talent you develop, the time you devote to it, and your persistence

INTERVIEWER: And the fact that he has a beer belly and hasn't exercised in two years.

WEIHENMAYER: Yeah, you're 70 years old, you're in Orlando, you've never walked more than a mile in your life. What makes you think you could climb a mountain with perfectly working eyes? It goes well beyond that. They mean it as a compliment, and I accept their intent.

froken Fri 20-Sep-13 14:30:12

I really don't thunk it is ment/said in a rude way. Dp's uncle is tge loveliest guy, his tone would be more jokey than dismissive.

southbank Fri 20-Sep-13 14:35:18

Ok,I really didn't mean that to sound off but I was thinking how I would react because I have offered seats before and been made to feel stupid and rude for doing so.
I think most people do have a genuine intention to help but feel afraid of saying the wrong thing.

Lweji Fri 20-Sep-13 14:40:09

I have often wondered if blind people should be offered seats in public transport or not.

Sure, most are quite capable of standing, but they may not be aware of when a seat becomes free and are more likely to stand, or for longer, than the other passengers.

FunnyRunner Fri 20-Sep-13 14:43:03

It is a lovely thread smile OP you made me properly laugh with the dog reading the map / eating the map. Still giving me the giggles.

YANBU to be annoyed but people really don't understand all the different reasons for blindness. I already tell everyone DD is doomed to be a spec wearer because both DH and I have terrible eyesight. This might be complete bollocks blush

Anyway if you don't mind me saying so your thread is a breath of fresh air - really informative and funny too. You sound awesome and your DS too. Laughing at the spoon loading thing too - DD calmly hands spoon over for me to load, then seizes it like a tiny savage.

nesticles Fri 20-Sep-13 15:17:21

I don't think he's particularly clever, I think he's realised the quickest way to get more food is to give mummy back the spoon. as I type this he is repeatedly banging himself over the head with a stacking cup and laughing. Although saying that the baby lab has done a study with blind parents and sighted babies that does suggest that sighted children of blind parents are better at communicating by six months than sighted babies with sighted parents. it is only a small study for obvious reasons but interesting never the less.

nesticles Fri 20-Sep-13 15:32:10

Lo ds at your "tiny savage" comment ds is exactly the same. I find the offering a seat debate quite interesting cos if someone offeres me a seat I'll always take it as I like to make sure my dog is out of the way so she doesn't get trodden on and i'm really lazy lol...but some bline people (the really grumpy ones) imo get really arsie about it for some reasonn I found that when I was pregnant people stopped offering me a seat weird. I got asked once if my dog needed a seat as well. can you imagine a 26 kg black lab sitting next to you on the DLR reading her Metro? lol

Earthymama Fri 20-Sep-13 19:27:37

Don't let her read the Metro, it is full of right wing crap!!
I will get her a subscription to the New Statesman if she promises to give up her seat!!

PS could you write a blog? I love your writing style and keep giggling at the thought of you being drunk and laughing in the middle of London.
I am sure you have more tales to entertain and lighten us?

Saffyz Fri 20-Sep-13 19:50:27

Can the dog help with my crossword clues? grin

froken Fri 20-Sep-13 20:09:07

I wish I had seen your dog on a seat!

I will make sure to offer blind people with dogs seats in the future, my dp's aunt and uncle don't have dogs anymore but I can understnad that a dog needs to be kept out of the way!

I can very well believe the reaserch that says seeing children of blind parents have better communication skills early on, I have been told stories of dp's cousin guiding his fathers hand to a drink on the table when he was a very small child (they said when he was ds's age which at the time was 8 months, I don't think it really could have been that early but I could very well be wrong!)

Neyite Fri 20-Sep-13 20:19:23

Op, my dad was blind (RP) and I'm laughing and nodding at some of the comments. My mum got "do you have to dress him" said in front of him once, and more than one person thought that he was faking it to get benefits. She got the sex question and people were always explaining things to the guide dog instead of him. I'm proud that I had such an inspirational role model for a parent - there was literally nothing he couldn't do, and always felt that disability is more a mindset issue than a physical one.

nesticles Sat 21-Sep-13 01:29:29

Lol at do you have to dress him. Dear god do these people think we're deaf as well? I'd love to write a blog but being a mummy of a very lively but wonderful ds leaves me completely nackered. Oh god I have so many tales. I lived in central London a few years ago and my dog and I were doing some shopping in a Tesco local (one we used regularly) and I walked out having payed for my shopping and got half way home when someone tapped me on the shoulder and told me my dog had some bread in her mouth. I thought it might just be a piece of sandwiche...but no it was a foot long french stick that she had stolen that nowone in Tesco had the courage to tell me about. we lived at this place for another year and I was so embarrased that I always sent dh to do any shopping. She is sucha naughty little monkey but having the freedom to walk down fith avenue by myself makes it all worth it.

mrsspagbol Sat 21-Sep-13 05:17:55

OP i am doing yet another night feed with my pfb and this thread has made me so happy! You sound so LOVELY!!

Plus your child is amazing!!!

Love the stolen bread in Tesco story!!!

ExitPursuedByADragon Sat 21-Sep-13 10:36:38

Just read in the paper about a guide dog who pulled away from her owner to push the baby's pram out of the way of a car. The car hit the owner but at least the baby was safe. Bit of a Sophie's choice for the dog.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Sat 21-Sep-13 10:45:47

nesticles You're missing a golden opportunity there! Train that dog to recognise gin and packs of fillet steak. Start NOW.

edam Sat 21-Sep-13 12:09:04

grin at your shoplifting, map-reading dog. And at Jesus (and there's a sentence I never imagined writing...)

edam Sat 21-Sep-13 12:10:44

p.s. there was a story in my local paper about a bakery turning away a customer with a guide dog 'because we don't allow dogs in here'. The owner was VERY apologetic when he realised what had happened. But now I'm wondering if the shop assistant used to work at your Tescos and believes all guide dogs are bread thieves... grin

Beastofburden Sat 21-Sep-13 12:54:45

I am loving the map reading, gin thieving guide dog. Definitely needs to be part of their training.

nesticles Sun 22-Sep-13 00:37:05

NeyiteFri, It is so lovely to hear that about your dad. I hope ds feels like that about us when he's older. Dh and I have never let it stop us doing anything including skiing and working/studying in the states. Jesus I would but am vegetarian so not sure what I'd do with the meat but bring on the Gin., knowing my bull-in-a-china-shop dog she would send all the bottles flying and then I would smell like a gin and tonic lol. I guess I could smell worse! Edam my dog has developed a reputation for stealing bread as she's done it at the co-op as well but unlucky for her I noticed and took it off her...if only she'd start stealing cute shoes I’d work with her. My puppy is definitely a character...we could be in any part of the country and she will always try and take me in to a William Hill. I have no idea why that particular shop is attractive. I know the girl who had that unfortunate accident, but I might sound sceptical I can't imagine how a dog would be able to push a buggy out the way if anything the dog probably got scared and somehow pushed in to it and it was a complete coincidence. My dog and I are a very close and bonded partnership but I don't think she would understand about saving a life. I just feel it makes a better story if the guide dog made a conscious choice to save the baby probably the papers sensationalising things.
I don't think ds would ever help me find a drink...knowing my son he'd probably be trying to take it for himself. I find it so interesting the people always say to us "god it must be so blind being blind and having a baby!" but the honest truth is that we've been blind all/most of our lives...so we're good at being blind, it's just the parent thing that's hard work and that is the case for every first time parent sighted or not. I was used to finding work arounds...but i was not used to fanjo stitches and no sleep lol.

nesticles Sun 22-Sep-13 00:39:14

Ooops should read "got it must be so hard being blind and a parent!" too much wine whilst ds is at dm's for the night. have been to see the Bodyguard a-fucking-mazing btw.

nesticles Sun 22-Sep-13 00:42:22

Unfortunately Edam Guide Dogs are refused all the time from places even though it is illegal to do so. I have waited many times in the rain (once even 37 weeks pregnant with pgp) and a taxi saw the dog (it was early Jan) and drove off. Bastard! makes me anbry!

SofiaAmes Mon 23-Sep-13 04:47:43

nesticles, I'm curious (hopefully this is not a question that the english find offensive...smile )...how did you find life in the USA as a blind person as compared to what you find in the UK? I am American, so am biased, but feel that disabilities of all sorts are far more accommodated in the USA. For example, I have never seen anyone refuse service to a blind person, or someone in a wheel chair in the USA, but saw that type of discrimination all the time when I lived in the UK. I was just wondering if it's my bias (or even just that most of my time in the USA was in either LA or NYC and my time in the UK was in London and maybe none of those cities are representative of the rest of the country.

nesticles Mon 23-Sep-13 14:44:02

Sofia: I love the US, not because I find it very different in terms of access but I find people less scared of disability weirdly. I have experience of both a small university town and NYC and LA. I found the uni town very restrictive not being able to drive but people were lovely. I found in NYC that we still had the taxi problem as well as being refused in to a few restaurants but really didn't enjoy LA. I felt stuck not being able to drive and people were far less willing to talk to me. I found all three experiences very different and was surprised ahow cultures were so different in the one country. I didn't have a dog when I was in Missouri so maybe that made a difference? The access to books for uni were much better in the US though. I found at the beginning of each semester I had them scanned and waiting for me and didn't have to spend hours with a reader. it meant I could do my essays at 3 AM if I wanted to.

BlackeyedSusan Mon 23-Sep-13 14:50:03

oh my goodness, do some people need the light on to dtd? shock grin

people are so rude sometimes.

FanjoForTheMammaries Mon 23-Sep-13 14:54:37

Did you say "did you not get sex education at school then?" grin

KarinMurphy Mon 23-Sep-13 15:11:37

What a lovely thread. smile

Just last week I walked past a lass with a stunning golden retriever guide dog, standing talking to a family who were having a picnic. Unnoticed by her and the family, the youngest child was sneakily feeding bits of his sandwich to the dog.

nesticles Mon 23-Sep-13 15:44:17

What a naughty monkey that little boy was. My lab has to have a gentle leader on at all times for that exact reason. Having to clean runny dog poo off carpets is a bloody nightmare...especially if you don't know if someone's given your dog something...cos then you don't know if they're really ill or just a dojy tummy from having something they're not allowed. Yep I have had the sex question more than once. I always say "if you don't know that by now...well...what can I say?" lol. I truely marval at the utter stupidity of people...just today Guide dog, DS and I were walking along side a very busy mainroad and a stupid twat (cuse the french) tried to call my dog over from across the road. My lab being a very social dog (huge problem) tried to take me to the curb to see the person. I had to tell her off but really and truly it wasn't her fault. I know people are being nice but it is so dangerous and happens all the time. grrr lol x

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