To ask for the child benefit to be split?

(59 Posts)
marieclare168 Mon 16-Sep-13 22:02:10

Please be gentle with me as this is my first post.

My husband was married previously and has 2 teenagers. He has joint residency and therefore receives child benefit for one of them (their mother gets CB for the other - this arrangement was put in place when they split 8+ years ago).

We now also have 2yo DS together and I have my own CB claim for him. My payments for DS are at the 2nd child rate. DH receives payments at 1st child rate for stepson.

It just occurred to me that this seems unfair and that we really should be pooling the total we both receive from CB and splitting it 50/50 between the 2 children.

Husband cannot see my point of view at all and says it's never going to happen. He says I would be taking money off stepson if we split the funds as his award is for his specific child and my award is separate. My thought is, if my claim were genuinely separate I would be receiving the full amount for our DS but clearly the CB treat us as a household and theoretically assume the 1st/2nd/subsequent amounts are pooled in any household and shared for the benefit of the children.

gordyslovesheep Mon 16-Sep-13 22:04:33

honestly - I think it's a massive fuss to make over a few quid - and it makes you seem a bit negative towards his son - sorry

DameDeepRedBetty Mon 16-Sep-13 22:04:36

I do see your point. Would anyone who works in the bit of the civil service that processes these awards care to explain how it works?

Hegsy Mon 16-Sep-13 22:04:40

How do you split other household finances does your DH give his son the CB or does it go to living costs etc?

Debs75 Mon 16-Sep-13 22:09:49

So you are arguing about £3.50 per week. Is that really worth arguing about?

littlemisssarcastic Mon 16-Sep-13 22:10:24

I wouldn't be making a stand over an extra £3.45 a week.
Does this go deeper OP?

bearleftmonkeyright Mon 16-Sep-13 22:11:27

This is a big can of wriggly worms to open. Why would you? This is the way it is, fair or unfair. I think yabu.

hermioneweasley Mon 16-Sep-13 22:11:46

Do you give the CB to the kids? If not, isn't it all just in the household pot?

(dreads now unlocking a can of worms about controlling/abusive/arseholey financial arrangements)

mehimandthegirls Mon 16-Sep-13 22:11:59

Yep I see your point. They are both DH kids so the money should be pooled. Why would his DSS lose out on money? does Dh give it to him directly?

Our CB gets swallowed up with bills ect....

maddymoo25 Mon 16-Sep-13 22:12:58

I m confused to as why its split anyway, are all your finances split ? X

littlemisssarcastic Mon 16-Sep-13 22:13:32

Also, if you are pooling your finances in the first place, this shouldn't be an issue. Perhaps you should be more concerned with why you are so bothered by this in the first place?

What extra could your child get with another £3.45 a week that he doesn't currently receive?

Unexpected Mon 16-Sep-13 22:14:13

What rate does his ex-partner get for their other child, given that they have two children together, surely she only gets second child rate for the child who lives with her? I'm also not sure what you mean about pooling the total and splitting it - do you have completely separate financial arrangements? Surely the money just goes into a central pot and is spent as needed on stuff for both children or for the family in general?

AmyFlower Mon 16-Sep-13 22:14:24

That depends...were you the OW?

Debs75 Mon 16-Sep-13 22:14:56

So he has joint residency? Does that mean he has one of his kids live with you or he has both live with you some of the time?

gobbynorthernbird Mon 16-Sep-13 22:16:41

Pool your finances or keep them separate, it's up to you. But as mentioned, a few quid a week isn't worth arguing about under normal circumstances.

maddymoo25 Mon 16-Sep-13 22:16:49

I don't understand so does that mean the teen children get 20 each cb to diff houses x

gobbynorthernbird Mon 16-Sep-13 22:17:44

What has being the OW got to do with anything?

gobbynorthernbird Mon 16-Sep-13 22:19:14

And, to be fair, the difference in CB should be split 3 ways with his ex. Then everybody gets the same.

AmyFlower Mon 16-Sep-13 22:22:35

If you were the OW then you should be ashamed of yourself.

Moxiegirl Mon 16-Sep-13 22:22:55

I get chb for 2 children, dp for 3! It all goes into the same account and gets spent on household outgoings. It wouldn't occur to me to quibble.

gobbynorthernbird Mon 16-Sep-13 22:24:54

Oh do be quiet, Amy.

Fairy1303 Mon 16-Sep-13 22:25:18

Absolutely ridiculous and irrelevant to be asking OP whether she was the OW - a a step mum I actually find that assumption quite offensive tbh.

Agree that I don't think you should quibble a few quid. I get 2nd child rate fr DS and DH gets the £20 for DSD, it's never crossed my mind that it should be an issue, since it all gets pooled anyway.

WilsonFrickett Mon 16-Sep-13 22:25:49

I do get what you mean - if you had two DCs of your own, you wouldn't say 'DC1 gets this and dc2 gets that' you'd just pool the two amounts and just sort of absorb them in to household life.

For example If you were well enough off to be able to save the cb, I can't see that you'd save less for dc2 just because they were the second one, you'd split the difference and save the same amount for each child.

But I really can't say if YABU because it depends so much on how your household works.

BrokenSunglasses Mon 16-Sep-13 22:26:36


What are you planning on doing with the extra few pounds each month anyway?

AmyFlower Mon 16-Sep-13 22:26:58


IneedAyoniNickname Mon 16-Sep-13 22:28:49

Confused about what being the ow (or not as the case may be) has to do with it?!

I'm also curious about how they calculate it. He gets higher rate for 1st child, what about his ex? Does she get 2nd child rate, or 1st as she only claims for 1 child?

The cb I receive for 2 dc pays the they benefit equally.

BruthasTortoise Mon 16-Sep-13 22:39:45

YANBU. He gets higher rate for DSS, his ex gets higher rate for other DSC and you get lower rate for your DS - that's completely unfair. Admittedly it's only a few pounds a week but if you are a family who saves the ChB that amounts to 1000s over the course of the award.

SugarHut Mon 16-Sep-13 22:45:09

YANBU if the amount to be argued over was slightly more than £3. Behave yourself. wink

marieclare168 Mon 16-Sep-13 22:45:25

Yes sorry of course I'm not wanting to argue over a few pounds per week, it's more the principle that they treat us as a 'household' hence DS getting the lesser amount, which is reasonable if finances were pooled but ours are kind of separate.

We have a joint act for bills. DH pays in 75% of the total needed, 1 pay 25%. This is based on respective incomes. I work PT. All fixed bills including child maintenance to his ex, household food etc come out of that. Anything left stays in our own accounts. CB is paid into our individual accounts. It is not given to the children. Both older children live here 50% of the time.

From our individual accounts, I pay for DS nursery/clothes/toys. DH pays for all DSSs activities/going out etc for both of them. If we do things as a family DH generally pays.

I don't know what rate the ex gets for the 1 child considered to be in her "household".

Errr, no I wasn't an OW!

marieclare168 Mon 16-Sep-13 22:48:57

We don't save the CB. DSs gets spent on clothes. DH uses his for the DSSs activities / spending money.

maddymoo25 Mon 16-Sep-13 22:50:46

Ahh ok that makes a lil more sense lol I'm not sure but it seems a lil unfair that the 2 teen caims come in af 40 a week xx also if yu have them half the week etc why do you pay matinence x

BruthasTortoise Mon 16-Sep-13 22:51:55

In that case, I wouldn't open the can of worms - sometimes for the sake of family harmony relaxing principles may be called for. Still don't think you are being unreasonable though smile. BTW ignore the OW thing I think that poster may have ishoos grin

WilsonFrickett Mon 16-Sep-13 22:52:44

So pay both CBs into the joint account then? I agree would be fairer But it is such a small amount of money it's probably not worth starting world war 3 over....

gobbynorthernbird Mon 16-Sep-13 22:55:40

Ex will get the lower rate, so to be fair you'd have to give her some more cash too, as she has DSCs half the time.

gobbynorthernbird Mon 16-Sep-13 22:57:20

And yes, why do you pay for kids that live with you 50% of the time? That would be a much bigger issue than the CB to me.

marieclare168 Mon 16-Sep-13 22:57:37

Wilson yes I agree about WW3. For me it started as an interesting semi academic conversation, along the lines of.. ooh hang on, wait a minute, we have been doing this wrong, we should be splitting it, wonder what the CB people's policy is etc etc.
But DH has gone totally off the handle in response so you are probably right, a can of worms that should have stayed shut.

BruthasTortoise Mon 16-Sep-13 22:58:11

No she won't, if the OPs other DSC is the oldest child on his mum's claim she'll get higher rate for him.

Gossipmonster Mon 16-Sep-13 22:59:21

I thought that CB was always paid to the mother except in exceptional circumstances a because of domestic abuse?

gobbynorthernbird Mon 16-Sep-13 23:00:51

Ah, ok. Apologies. Still think that the maintenance is the bigger issue, though.

maddymoo25 Mon 16-Sep-13 23:02:00

I would defo have more of an issue with matinence , so you have them 50 pecent of the time so you feed, clothe and house them etc pay for clubs and he pays matinence lol

jessieagain Mon 16-Sep-13 23:05:36

I think if you have very separate accounts like that then it isn't fair for you to pay for all of your ds clothes, food, nursery.

Instead of arguing about cb (which sounds petty) ask for the nursery fees to come out of the joint account as it should be a shared family expense.

Also maybe you could ask your dh to pay for some regular expense for your ds (like shoes or haircuts) out if his personal account as it doesn't seem right for him to pay for nothing directly related to ds.

marieclare168 Mon 16-Sep-13 23:07:46

Technically actually we only pay CSA for one of the older children because DH is classed as resident parent for the other (the one he gets CB for). There is no proper allowance for 50% care in the CSA framework.
We get a discount for the number of nights residency.

And this business of the ex getting the lower rate, (as DH thinks is the case but we can't find the paperwork), surely can't be right.

Imagine he went off and got 10 more women pregnant, when they came to claim CB they couldn't all be awarded 2nd/subsequent child amounts even if they were the first children in the mothers household?

This is where I think its more about the theory/policy than my situation necessarily.

maddymoo25 Mon 16-Sep-13 23:11:41

That makes no sense if that was the case the ex would have to pay csa to the child he has residents for, which would then counter act lol

BruthasTortoise Mon 16-Sep-13 23:12:55

Your DH is wrong, the ex will get higher rate for the child that is resident with her. Is she paying maintenance for the child that is resident with your DH?

gobbynorthernbird Mon 16-Sep-13 23:15:14

But if they only pay for one child it must even out? This is all terribly convoluted.

NoSquirrels Mon 16-Sep-13 23:17:30

Presumably once your DSS reaches age of 18 your DH will no longer be able to claim CB, and your DS will become no. 1, higher-rate child?

I agree with you, btw. But it is a can of worms. I would worry a bit about your DH going off the deep-end at a theoretical discussion about £ 3.50 a week, too.

gobbynorthernbird Mon 16-Sep-13 23:17:40

Oh gosh, ignore that. The ex should pay to you too if it's a 50% split with the time.

needaholidaynow Mon 16-Sep-13 23:50:08

WTAF has all that "are you the OW?" crap got to do with this?

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 17-Sep-13 00:02:34

Bruthas is correct.

The eldest child rate for CB gets paid for the eldest child in each household
So dad gets it for eldest child in his house mum gets to for eldest child in her house but op can't because she's in the same household as dad.

jacks365 Tue 17-Sep-13 00:04:13

If the maintenance goes through the csa they have methods for dealing with split residency like this but if the mums income is low and the dads high then he will pay much more. Chb is higher rate for each household.

I find it ridiculous that maintenance is viewed as a joint family expense but nursery fees aren't. You're being taken for a mug.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 17-Sep-13 00:05:37

And the difference is about £6 pw not £3 pw

The eldest child gets 20.30
Subsequent children get 13.40

topicsactiveimon Tue 17-Sep-13 00:12:31

I would have an issue with this if CB was going into a savings acct for the children - clearly they should both get the same amount put in each month. But as you're spending it on them as needed then why even bring this up, unless you feel DS is being done out of something essential that comes to £3.50/week?

You are right, of course, about the non-equitable split. But it amounts to nothing.

Now, do you have another reason to worry that your son is being financially disadvantaged?

topicsactiveimon Tue 17-Sep-13 00:14:19

Sorry, £6/week. YANBU to point this out, but if the rest of the financial arrangement between you and DP is healthy, then I'd let this one slide.

gobbynorthernbird Tue 17-Sep-13 00:49:59

But it's only half of £6 per week. So £3 is the amount being argued over.

BlackholesAndRevelations Tue 17-Sep-13 06:17:59

Presumably you've calculated your finances so that each of you contributes equally in your own way. Do you both have equal spending money for yourselves? I disagree that you're being taken for a mug if this is the case.

No idea re: maintenance etc.

Also think yabu for quibbling over £3 a week. If you go out as a family, he pays. Maybe that extra few quid is absorbed there.

iamadoozermum Tue 17-Sep-13 07:30:55

Thing is though, £3 a week comes to £156 a year. That would buy a fair amount of clothes/toys etc.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 17-Sep-13 08:46:50

Topics I didn't think of it like that.

whois Tue 17-Sep-13 09:01:19

I find it ridiculous that maintenance is viewed as a joint family expense but nursery fees aren't. You're being taken for a mug


Seriously, sort it out! Your JOINT child's expenses should be coming out of the family pot. Seriously not on the way things are now and the situation is bigger than the CB split.

apachepony Tue 17-Sep-13 09:42:14

As mentioned above, it is absolutely ludicrous that maintenance for his child with his ex is coming out of the joint household account whereas nursery fees for your joint ds are being paid solely by you. I would be angrier about this than about the child benefit to be honest. I am assuming he would definitely kick off if you raised that issue though for me it would be a fight worth having. Children in a second family are not the sole responsibility of their mother, the father has equal responsibility for both sets of children, for the first family, shared with their mother, for the second family, shared with his partner.

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