To think MIL should let DC bring toys home?

(44 Posts)
Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 17:16:49

Not a major issue, just something me and OH are differing in opinion on.

DD loves Little People and Peppa Pig. She hasn't got a lot of it as its a relatively new thing and we are waiting for her birthday.

Meanwhile, MIL has gone and bought loads of Little people sets and a George toy which DD doesn't have at home. She goes once a week and loves playing with these toys there. She tries to put them in her bag to bring home but MIL takes them off her and won't let her.

I understand she needs things to play with there but she has a mountain of stuff. Plus I always put a selection of toys in a bag for her which never gets touched.

It's not a massive issue but I just think its a bit mean. Plus I'm going to have to duplicate some of this stuff as birthday presents. Seems daft.


Thesebootsweremadeforwalking Mon 16-Sep-13 17:22:13

YABU I think. If you're regular visitors it's nice to have a toy box at the ILs with things you don't have at home, it helps to make a visit special.

PILs do this, their meccano is part of the reason DS is usually very happy to go there!

peachmint Mon 16-Sep-13 17:23:51

YABU. It's really nice to have special things she only plays with at her grandparents.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 16-Sep-13 17:26:11

If you duplicate it, she will tire of it. Kids like stuff that they don't have constant access to. Honestly, I really wouldn't bother duplicating it. It'll get played with for a bit and then the novelty will wear off. Keep this box of toys as stuff she gets to play with at grandma's house and it'll stay fun. I think your daughter shouldn't be trying to pinch toys grin she should be able to accept that these toys live at grandma's house.

WorraLiberty Mon 16-Sep-13 17:26:53

Plus I always put a selection of toys in a bag for her which never gets touched.

And that ^^ is what your MIL is trying to avoid with these toys.

If your DD took them home, she'd get used to them quickly and they would eventually end up untouched.

kali110 Mon 16-Sep-13 17:27:36

Yabvu. Shes bought them for her dc to have something to play with at her house, not for you to take home. Shes not being mean, your dc isn't entitled to take them home just because she wants them.
So what if there are duplicate sets, one for dc to play at home, one for grandmas. Seems reasonable to me.

hippo123 Mon 16-Sep-13 17:27:54

Yabu. My dc's favourite toys are at the grandparents house, which they brought them. There their favourite as they don't get to play with them very often.

KoalaFace Mon 16-Sep-13 17:29:51

Sounds like she wants her home to be special and exciting for when your DD visits. Try to see it that way rather than mean since she obviously bought them for your DD so she doesn't seem nasty.

It must be a bit hard to see your DD disappointed though. Don't let it become a big thing!

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 17:30:40

Haha ok ok!! I consider myself told!

I did tell her I wanted to buy her little people stuff for her birthday though so she could have got something different. IMO.

And I'm going to have to buy her a George. She can't not have a George!!

But yeah I suppose you're right!

abigboydidit Mon 16-Sep-13 17:31:31

YABU. I think it's lovely they have bought special toys for her. It's not as if they bought them as a birthday gift and then insisted they keep them at their house.

topicsactiveimon Mon 16-Sep-13 17:32:13

YABU. I have to stop my mum from letting the DC take toys home from her house! Those toys are Grandma's special toys and they make going to Grandma's house even more fun than it is already.

Yonionekanobe Mon 16-Sep-13 17:33:18

My MIL does the same. DD spends a day a week with them and this seems to work well. Even though DD will often want to bring something home, we say no and she soon forgets.

Lweji Mon 16-Sep-13 17:36:50

And why would you send any toys if there are loads there???

I'm surprised your MIL is not posting on MN about it. wink

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 16-Sep-13 17:41:12

What's a george?

AnneUulmelmahay Mon 16-Sep-13 17:46:27

Presuming from peppa fucking pig, Hec

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 17:46:46

shock lweji

My side of the family do it totally differently. My
DM and DGM often buy her little presents and always send it home. When I take her there they always tell me to take plenty of toys. They also have a little toy box at their houses but its not as bountiful as MIL's

AnneUulmelmahay Mon 16-Sep-13 17:47:37

Heyyyyyyyy Hec! You're back!

Hi five.

AnneUulmelmahay Mon 16-Sep-13 17:50:15

Op let grandma have it her way

Kinda doing a bit of parenting grunt-work for you, teaching that stuff cannot always be taken, great for starting nursery/preschool. Cool.

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 17:53:44

She will have it her way anne, she always does! I would never say anything, it's a very unsteady boat to rock.

You know, I was sure I was right on this one!


ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 16-Sep-13 17:54:08

I snuck back a few days ago.

Ahh, peppa pig.

exoticfruits Mon 16-Sep-13 17:55:39

I haven't got grandchildren yet but I have kept the best of my DCs toys- I see them as something to play with when they see me. My aunt had a lovely drawer of old toys- it was the appeal of visiting. It was lovely that my children then played with the same toys. It is easy for DCs to know they can't take other people's belongings home.

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:07:44

It's not about her not taking toys home though. There is plenty there that stays there and she loves those too. I'm happy that she is not so spoilt she can't leave things at grandmas. for me, it's more specifically the things I wanted to get her for her birthday. I wanted to get them because I knew she would love them

Longdistance Mon 16-Sep-13 18:17:16

My dm has loads of toys for our dd's to play with, that stay at hers. Nothing nice as Little people. However, we have accumulated millions of Little people sets, we have the house, a tree house, plane, car, Ferris wheel, farm, and loads of Little Peolpe along the way, so gonna donate some to my mums house when we get back from Oz, as we won't have the room for everything back in the Uk.

kali110 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:18:24

And maybe thats what the gm wants to op?you could always buy her diff things from the range

80sMum Mon 16-Sep-13 18:20:12

Please don't buy your child a George if she already has one at grandma's house and enjoys playing with it there! That would be VU of you - and rather unkind, imo.

Hissy Mon 16-Sep-13 18:22:25

Get crates, put a mixed selection of toys in them, and have at least one in store, one out to play with and one at GM's.

Then there'll always be special/fresh toys both at home and at GM's.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 16-Sep-13 18:23:38

Oh bollocks 80s the MIL obv has loads more money than the OP and why should she keep all the nice toys exclusively at hers?? My MIL would never do this!

Hissy Mon 16-Sep-13 18:25:26

Hold on, your MIL knew you wanted to buy this stuff for her birthday, and bought it herself? Before the Birthday?!


Tell her not to userp you! You both need to be coordinated on the subject of gifts.

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:26:31

True true kali110

Even though its agreed that I ABU, I still think she could let her have one though. She now has four sets there!! We have one beaten up one at home. Bit too skint at the mo to buy more so wait

*licketysplit ducks and hides*


ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 16-Sep-13 18:29:15

Is your daughter the only grandchild she has or is ever likely to have?

Just wondering if it would help to change your thinking from
she's got my daughter's toys at her house and won't give them to her to take away
she's bought a range of toys that all present and future grandchildren (and great grandchildren in time) can enjoy when they visit her

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:30:05

80s unkind to buy her a George? She has a peppa and a Suzy sheep at home. It's be unkind not to buy her the George so she can play with them together.

AnneUulmelmahay Mon 16-Sep-13 18:31:20

Oh lawks the MIL shot out and got stuff you had earmarked for DD? NORTY!

Well, her card is MARKED from now on. Don't discuss future pressie ideas with ILs, put off scent with vague refs to obscure items like Coralle dolly, lightbox with coloured paddles, £££ doll house five stories high etc. Grrr at MIL.

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:31:32

80s unkind to buy her a George? She has a peppa and a Suzy sheep at home. It's be unkind not to buy her the George so she can play with them together.

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:34:23

Yeah I've just read my OP back and it wasn't that clear. But yes, we discussed the fact I wanted to get little people a d peppa pig stuff for birthday in two weeks.

Today DD went to visit, there was a new George and three new LP sets on to

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:35:20

Sorry posted too soon...on top of the three already there

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:37:50

Sorry one new set on top of the three already there

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:38:25

Getting confused

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 16-Sep-13 18:46:06

OP my Mum did this pissed me RIGHT off and I told her. I wanted to get a partucular item for Christmas and the next day she came here with one! A big item...think bike....and then...she came back the next day with A SECOND!

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:49:49

Two bikes??? Wow neo

My mum did it last month. She knew I wanted to get DD a scooter too and she rang me and said she'd got one so DD could still use it while I was warm. I didn't mind this at all as she lets her bring them home so she can use it all the time

Buy her whatever you want for her birthday, don't let MIL put you off.
In future if she asks what you are getting for her birthday tell her something you want her to have that you won't buy and let her buy that. Keep your gifts secret unless you want her to rush out and buy them.
My MIL made a huge deal about buying Ds a workbench with tools, he was in love with it. Then at the end of the day wouldn't let him bring it home, said it was for him to play at her house. Next time we went back, she had moved it into her Daycare room where she was a childminder for a lot of kids. It was wrecked already and tools were missing, he was devastated as she said it was his, and he took very good care of his toys.

fluffyraggies Mon 16-Sep-13 19:06:59

Wasn't there a thread about a MIL buying and giving an expensive dolls house to her GD when she knew the OP had bought one and had it kept away for the GDs birthday?


Ditto above OP. Don't tell MIL what you intend to buy DD anymore. Tricky if DD tells her herself though ...

Maybe make a point in future of saying, nicely but firmly ''MIL we are going to buy XYZ for DD's birthday this year so please don't buy one, ok?''

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 16-Sep-13 19:58:48

IDRTYABU. I had this when DS was small. He wasn't allowed to bring his Christmas presents home from the ILs. I don't think it is fair or kind.

ChasedByBees Mon 16-Sep-13 20:06:41

Squinkies, that's really sad, your poor DS.

OP, YANBU and I would certainly get a George!

pizzachickenhotforyou Mon 16-Sep-13 20:07:52

If you can't take it home it's not a gift though?
I'd find it rubbish if someone bought me a gift I could only use at their house same for children.
Unless its something like a trampoline in grandmas garden when you live in a flat.
My MIL has toys which are for my lo and the cousins- but these are grandmas toys- not a gift presented then taken away at the end of the day, that's mean.

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