to expect the sweets and cakes at a kids party to be put out AFTER the savoury?

(90 Posts)

Pukey pukey pukey.

Yesterday DS2 (5) came home from party and vommed up all the many cakes and sweets he'd eaten over two hours at a party. His brother narrowly kept them all in. Not sure which is worse.

AIBU to think that you don't just put our ALL the food at the very beginning of the party, together....

There was no way on earth that my children weren't going to eat all the cakes first: I would have had to physically hold them back for two hours. They did not let a morsel of savoury fare pass their lips (not counting Hula Hoops).

I'm not a party food Nazi - but I have food out after the games, and then bring out the cakes after the teeny tiny sandwiches and crisps (and token carrot sticks)


wannaBe Mon 16-Sep-13 14:24:37

biscuit grin

YABU kids parties means sausage rolls and buns, cakes, sweets and chocolate all out together


Sirzy Mon 16-Sep-13 14:25:57

I thought putting all the food out at a party was pretty standard!

redskyatnight Mon 16-Sep-13 14:27:22

Sounds like the issue was with the quantity of food they ate -not the time it was put out? I'd be really concerned if my DC ate so much food that they made themselves sick - 5 should be old enough to have some control.

CoffeeTea103 Mon 16-Sep-13 14:28:11

Yabu, who has the time to be faffing around twice and in between people doing two settings of food. I've never been to a party where this was done. I've seen plenty children eat both.

tywysogesgymraeg Mon 16-Sep-13 14:29:04

That's what parties are for - no-one eats the ham sandwiches!

irregularegular Mon 16-Sep-13 14:29:39

Well I agree with you. I've always held the sweet stuff back and that's what I've seen other people do too.

IamNotLegend Mon 16-Sep-13 14:29:55

I've never been to a kids party where the food isn't all spread out together.

IslaValargeone Mon 16-Sep-13 14:30:52

I'm a hold back on the cakes girl myself.


They should be told by parents or if no parents there then party host not to just get sugary stuff. I would also expect my DS to show a bit of control if he was old enough to be there without me.

Savoury always followed by sweet is a bad idea - it's how I was fed as a kid and is exactly why even when I am absolutely stuffed I am programmed to follow it with something sugary.

IwishIwasmoreorganised Mon 16-Sep-13 14:31:21

Of course YABU!

One mouthful of cake, then the next of party ring and then some Pom bears is standard kids party etiquette isn't it?

I'd be more concerned that your dc don't know when to stop, and that you didn't step in as you were there.

TwoTearsInABucket Mon 16-Sep-13 14:32:33

I'm afraid I put it all out together. Dd only puked once after a party. Think it was the combo of icecream followed by
Fizzy sweets. Euw.

DatsunCogs Mon 16-Sep-13 14:32:51

You weren't at my DDs party were you?! I like the free for all approach...everything got eaten in the end apart from token tomatoes

So your kids were invited to a party, had a lovely time, but they over indulged?

Tbh it's up to you to supervise your kids, try and teach them to moderate their own appetites, or accept at a party it's all going to go tits up.

Not their fault what happened. People do it their own way.

Panzee Mon 16-Sep-13 14:33:21

Every party I went to this summer has had those cardboard boxes with all the food in it for each child. Cake and butty all in together in that one!

Anyway I am of the "life is uncertain: eat pudding first" camp. grin

Primrose123 Mon 16-Sep-13 14:33:35

I always put all the food out together. No-one has ever been sick.

morethanpotatoprints Mon 16-Sep-13 14:35:26

YABU and as others have said. Its a party and all food goes out together. Maybe a good idea to teach your dc they don't have to stuff one or more of everything, they end up chucking up. grin

Floggingmolly Mon 16-Sep-13 14:36:11

Of course you put the party food out together.
If your 5 year old can't go to a party table without gorging like a pig at a trough, it's not he organisers fault. And you were there???
Why didn't you stop him?

KurriKurri Mon 16-Sep-13 14:36:44

Most kids parties I have been to it has been all the food out at the same time.

Some children take small quantities of food, others seem to think rationing is imminent and pile their plates high with everything they can grab hold of.

Perhaps the host has a child who knows how to moderate him/herself and didn't realise that some kids don't do that.

I stand corrected . Hangs head.

Food was out for entire party.... I tired to stop them, but there are two of them, and I really would have had to actually hold them - or leave...

OneToThree Mon 16-Sep-13 14:39:25

You can tell your children how much crap they're allowed to eat you know?

OneToThree Mon 16-Sep-13 14:40:26

Sorry x-posts

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 16-Sep-13 14:41:05

Perhaps you need to be more DDs quite often have access to cake etc and so always remain calm when presented with a party tea.

Look on the bright side. They probably won't do it again grin

MoominsYonisAreScary Mon 16-Sep-13 14:42:07

I really dont think it matters how the food comes out if they are going to eat until they are sick!

KurriKurri Mon 16-Sep-13 14:42:43

To be fair to you OP - I wouldn't have food out for the entire party - that does seem a bit odd. I would have games and running around, then sit down and eat, blow out candles etc., then children bundled elsewhere to play a bit more away from food, then home with a piece of cake in a bag for later

BeCool Mon 16-Sep-13 14:43:43

Was the party at Nobu? If so YANBU.

If not, it's a free for all at kids parties!

BTW my 5 year old once ate so much (very mice but very rich) chocolate cake at a birthday party (despite everyone telling her to stop) she was very sick the next day and vomited blood. Several hours were spent in A&E having it confirmed that it was indeed chocolate-cake-induced-bloody-vomit-itis!

I think she will remember next time.

BetsyBidwell Mon 16-Sep-13 14:43:54

your kid is a pig

thats the thing

BeCool Mon 16-Sep-13 14:44:23

oops Nice (not Mice cake - mice cake would be silly)

Panzee Mon 16-Sep-13 14:45:45

Oh missed that the food was over the entire party. I don't encourage play after food to avoid vom risk. I plan party, food, cake, now bugger off! grin

insanityscratching Mon 16-Sep-13 14:47:30

I put all the food out at once too and I don't remember going to a party where the cakes were held back tbh. If you were there I would have expected you to monitor how much your child ate tbh rather than expect me to with hold the sweet treats so YABU.

Crowler Mon 16-Sep-13 14:47:57

I'm not extremely strict about snacks (although my husband is!). We have one kid who goes completely bananas when he comes to our house; his mom is incredibly strict about food. I am not kidding when I tell you at rugby yesterday she brought him radishes as a snack (?!?!?!?!).

Do you think you're perhaps creating a situation here? Does your kid ever get to eat any cakes at home?

Gubbins Mon 16-Sep-13 14:52:24

When they were small I'd put out the savoury and then pass around the sweet stuff when they'd had enough of that. Nowadays (They are 7 and 9) I just stick it all out and it's their problem if they eat too much crap.

One mum did ask me to limit what her seven year old had as he'd thrown up after the last four parties, but as soon as I turned my back he necked half a bowl of frazzles. You can't police one child's intake (unless it's your own.) So if E's reading, sorry!

squeakytoy Mon 16-Sep-13 14:53:00

" I tired to stop them, but there are two of them, and I really would have had to actually hold them - or leave..."

you need to get better control over your kids then if they just ignore you

MrsOakenshield Mon 16-Sep-13 14:53:37

radishes??? As a snack????????? During rugby??????????????????

That's just So Weird.

they get a v wide variety of snack and cake at home yes! Its hard to sail the route between food nazi and hands off parent I find though...

Googlella Mon 16-Sep-13 14:54:00

YANBU sweet things should be brought out after savouries and mainly are at the parties my dc have been to.

Crowler Mon 16-Sep-13 14:54:04

I'm a vomit-phobe and I forgot to worry about birthday parties. Now I can add this to my list. Thanks. smile

WorraLiberty Mon 16-Sep-13 14:55:39

If they eat so much that they puke up, they'll learn from it.

Like most of us did at that age.

Crowler Mon 16-Sep-13 14:56:32

I know, MrsOak. She's a bit smug, too. Poor child stared at me, munching his radish as I handed mine their ginormous cinnamon swirls.

Growlithe Mon 16-Sep-13 15:00:27

Worra - they will then have the same lesson in their teens with cider. grin

WorraLiberty Mon 16-Sep-13 15:01:56

So true Growlithe grin

pigletmania Mon 16-Sep-13 15:05:07

Yabvu my dd 6 would wait until the savoury was gone and cakes came out beforevtryingto eat the lot grin

whenigrowupiwanttobeaunicorn Mon 16-Sep-13 15:06:52

Radishes??? Really?
My DD13 has one friend who always used to over do it on the sweets and cakes when she came to parties/playdates/sleepovers. Her mum was a bit of a food nazi, ie no-crap-EVER!
People are often impressed when my 2 DDs say no thankyou to dessert and treats (sometimes - not always!) But they have grown up with choice and have learnt not to eat if they're not hungry, but to enjoy things like ginormous cinnamon swirls too!

Crowler Mon 16-Sep-13 15:42:01

Yes, radishes.

NotCitrus Mon 16-Sep-13 15:42:36

I hope this wasn't my ds's party!
Didn't have time to do sandwiches in advance thanks to toddler waking every half hour all night then clinging to me all morning, got all food onto table near the start of the party, then was running upstairs and down keeping an eye on the kids. Mostly my toddler, who scarfed most of the sandwiches...

Keeping multiple preschoolers away from biscuits within reach - please share your tips squeakytoy!

ShatnersBassoon Mon 16-Sep-13 15:45:27

Parties aren't parties unless you can pick your Hula Hoops up with a Chocolate Finger.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 16-Sep-13 15:46:17

" I tired to stop them, but there are two of them, and I really would have had to actually hold them - or leave..."

you need to get better control over your kids then if they just ignore you'

This exactly.

Maybe this could actually be a good thing from the point of view of someone who did not have to clean up the vomit because maybe next time they will remember having felt ill and uncomfortable/vomiting, and will stop short of stuffing themselves to the point of feeling ill.

I put out savoury food first, then sweet stuff to overlap maybe ten minutes later. So they at least nibble something nutritious before diving headfirst into the party rings and Maltesers.

But it's weird to have food available throughout a children's party. No wonder there was vomit confused

Two-hour party, of which the last half-hour is food/cake/party bags.

Lweji Mon 16-Sep-13 15:56:56


At most parties I find that children eat a reasonable amount of sweet, savoury foods and even fruit (finger type).

I have never seen any children throw up from eating too much, regardless of how much food is around.
Quite the reverse, as most children spend their time playing and eat very little.
I do remember one child spending most of her time eating, but she was clearly overweight compared with all the other children.

So, you do have to wonder why yours ate too much.

oldgrandmama Mon 16-Sep-13 15:59:01

My son, aged about seven, came home from a school friend's party and was violently sick. Good job I held my tongue and didn't say 'serves you right for being greedy', as it turned out he'd run headfirst into a (Closed) french window and had concussion!

Yes, I think he's OK ... he's now nearly 46

NoComet Mon 16-Sep-13 16:04:24

Savory, then sweet, so the DCs eat a very vague approximation to a meal.

Doesn't have to be healthy, but enough bread and puff pastry for DD2 not to declare she's hungry until the families next meal is an enormous help.

nickelbabe Mon 16-Sep-13 16:05:16

have to say, I wouldn't care.

bring on the cakes.

(and if the child is sick by eating too many cakes this time, the theory is that next time, they'll be more wary and eat maybe a couple of sandwiches first. Or spread the cakes out a bit)


NoComet Mon 16-Sep-13 16:05:22

Also spear biscuits etc keep, spare sausage rolls and ham that have been in a warm hall are scrap.

Tee2072 Mon 16-Sep-13 16:08:00

Gee, some how all the children at my son's 4th birthday party in June managed to not gorge themselves on the sweets/crisps/etc without any of the parents telling them to not eat too much and ate the ham sandwiches.

Perhaps it's your children that are the issue rather than the food?

Lweji Mon 16-Sep-13 16:15:43


mice cake actually sounds fine.

usualsuspect Mon 16-Sep-13 16:17:07

The problem is your children,not the party food.


I think it is a bit unkind to say her children are the problem - from what she has said, I am guessing that her children don't make a habit of stuffing themselves until they are sick, so this may well be an unusual occurrance.

As I said earlier, maybe next time they will remember how unpleasant it felt after they over-ate, and will moderate their intake.

To answer the OP - I generally did put out the sweet stuff and the savoury stuff at the same time, but the table was pushed against the wall and in the corner of the room, and the sweet stuff was put towards the back, in the hopes of encouraging the children to have some of the savouries first.

I also used to make sure that the savoury stuff was the sort of things children like - mini cocktail sausages, chicken nuggets, slices of pizza etc - so I could be reasonably sure they'd have some savoury items alongside the sweet things.

usualsuspect Mon 16-Sep-13 16:54:01

Well tbh,it is the children's problem if they gorge on sweets and cake.

I've had loads of parties and never seen children eat until they are sick

Going to a children's party is not unusual,neither is having all the food out together.

In fact I also find children eat very little at parties.

Tee2072 Mon 16-Sep-13 17:03:48

Well, exactly usual. The children did it to themselves. Where was the mum? Or was it a drop and run party?

::dreams of being able to drop and run::

wonderingsoul Mon 16-Sep-13 17:04:24

always done and been to party's where its all laid out together, they are told to wait till its time to eat then watch what they put on their plates, so its not all crap and every one gets the same amount of goodies.

i thought it was th enorm?

Children have not yet learnt the rule that you can't go back to savoury once you have launched in to the pudding course.

It's just one of those sad facts of life that growing up brings, like not being able to sit naked in a paddling pool in mixed society anymore, or having to remember on which day the bins should go out.


<eats creme caramel with a Pringle>

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 16-Sep-13 17:05:26

I'll rephrase then:

The fact that the OP said she couldn't stop her children gorging themselves without physically restraining them was the problem.

Mumsyblouse Mon 16-Sep-13 17:07:17

My children eat lots of cakes and sweets at parties but are never sick. Are you sure they don't have a virus?

Growlithe Mon 16-Sep-13 17:08:54

OTOH, it must have been a pretty dull party if the DCs just wanted to trough at the food table. Most children will sit there for 20 mins tops then want away. You usually have to time the cake around this.

usualsuspect Mon 16-Sep-13 17:11:14

It's normal at kids parties to have crisps,sandwiches party rings and cake on the same plate.

I would make sure mine didn't fill their plates with just cake.

usualsuspect Mon 16-Sep-13 17:12:24

I on the other hand am allowed to just eat cake grin

Growlithe Mon 16-Sep-13 17:15:53

When I say 'time the cake' - I mean the birthday cake.

Schmoozer Mon 16-Sep-13 17:23:46

Im another one that thinks this is more an op and her kids issue
Ive had the pleasure (!) of many kids parties now and never seen a kid gorge to puking point !!

hippo123 Mon 16-Sep-13 17:24:22

My 3 year old knows she has to eat her sandwich / wrap / pizza before stuffing herself with the sweet stuff, as does my 6 year old. I think the fault lays in your child having poor self control, and you feeling unable to stop it to be honest. Yabu.

exoticfruits Mon 16-Sep-13 17:26:48

Maybe OP just over controls it at home and so they don't learn to do it for themselves. I have never had children over eat but I have had them put too much on their plate and then take one bite so it is wasted.
I don't think that the party giver was wrong- you should just get your child used to making their own choices.

exoticfruits Mon 16-Sep-13 17:28:52

i.e. sensible choices- for themselves. If they have 'forbidden' foods at home say are bound to scoff as much as possible when they get the chance.

wasn't you notcitrus

I would out myself if I explained circs further as to why difficult to stop them getting the food - was not in someone's house though.

thanks all

" I tired to stop them, but there are two of them, and I really would have had to actually hold them - or leave..."

you need to get better control over your kids then if they just ignore you'

This. If either of my DC had been pigging out at a party, by age 5, then a simple muttered threat to stop now or go home in disgrace would be sufficient - do you seriously have no other options than physical restraint, OP?

Bunbaker Mon 16-Sep-13 17:49:24

I have never put the sweet stuff out first so I think YANBU. The table isn't big enough for a start so I just put the savoury out first. I have only ever done Fox's Party Rings (which have always been a favourite regardless of age), and home made fairy cakes. The only sweets I ever did was in between the wrappers in pass the parcel, and maybe a few in a party bag. The birthday cake is always home made and offered at the table or to take home. It has always been eaten at the table because that is what the children wanted to do.

Exoticfruits - my mum controlled what we ate, portion size etc, quite rigidly, and whilst I never ate until I made myself sick, I did, and still do, have a rather dysfunctional relationship with food, and as a teenager, at buffet-style parties, I used to eat too much.

I well remember ddad and dsis ladling several teaspoonfuls of sugar into their coffee during the interval at a concert that mum didn't come to - we were only allowed one teaspoonful at home. Sadly, someone had filled the sugar bowls with salt. I was a bit smug, as I had not long given up sugar, and my coffee was still drinkable.

judgejudithjudy Mon 16-Sep-13 18:42:07

yabu - suggest your dc are kept away from parties until the party food police investigate :-) btw have you ever thought that the parents have better things to do (like entertain their birthday child) to worry about your dc unable to control themselves?! i always lay all the food out & forget about it.

uselessinformation Mon 16-Sep-13 18:47:41

It's not a proper party unless someone is sick and someone cries! Being able to put sweet and savoury on the same plate is part of the fun for kids. Sometimes when my son was little we'd have party tea just for fun!

Floggingmolly Mon 16-Sep-13 18:47:49

How would it out you to explain why it was difficult to stop your kids getting the food? Were you the entertainer?
Did all the other children gannet till they puked? If not, then it's an issue with your kids, not the party itself.

lborolass Mon 16-Sep-13 18:53:57

OK, so there's obviously more to this than meets the eye but I have to agree that it's not normal behaviour ime for children to eat until they make themselves sick but I don't think you're going to get any helpful posts without being able to give the full details.

I was at a party at the weekend and even though all the food was out on the table together I didn't see any of the children gorging themselves.

SugarHut Mon 16-Sep-13 18:56:10

"Gannet til they puked." Arf!!! grin

I (and others) literally serve the children at my boy's parties. They are made to sit at a long table, they choose their savouries, then as they are munching, the savouries are taken away and the desserts laid out. Having said that, most parents stay at my parties, and are all from his naice school, and are desperately showing their child has the best table manners, so they never scoff cake until they heave.

I think YANBU to expect the desserts to be brought out at least slightly after the savouries, but yes, if you were there, you could have quite easily controlled the volume of cake they munched through!

Bunbaker Mon 16-Sep-13 19:59:27

There could be the possibility that they are beginning a bug.

I don't like the attitude that it's fine for kids to stuff themselves til they puke just because it's a party. I just did a party for DS with a picnic lunch so I brought out each thing at a time, sandwiches, cucumber and carrot, fruit, then crisps, cake and biscuits. It was kind of deliberate and made sure they all had something decent and there wasn't mountains of food waste. The other parents seemed to appreciate it too.

mewmeow Mon 16-Sep-13 20:04:16

Bung it all out together, less hassle that way winkgrin.

cory Mon 16-Sep-13 20:12:19

I have to say I always put all the food out as a buffet and I never came across a child that gorged themselves until they puked. Ime children eat until they've had enough and then get bored.

HairyGrotter Mon 16-Sep-13 20:21:06


I like to make unhealthy suggestions to DD so she can bring her plate to me and I can relieve her of the burden of the cake...she's a salad girl hmm weirdo

Kiwiinkits Mon 16-Sep-13 23:10:24

Can I just say pukey pukey pukey at children being made to show off naice manners to all of the mummies and daddies and a naice sit down party.

exoticfruits Tue 17-Sep-13 07:33:12

I think that the thread shows that you need to get your children used to eating a healthy diet and making their own choices. If you rigidly do it for them and ban certain foods as 'bad' then you are bound to have the situation where they go mad as soon as they get the chance.
I never found food an issue, I always had to be organised with something for those who didn't have an interest in eating much and were finished early. In fact I specifically used to try and have activities that used energy so that they would be hungry.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now