to be irritated that this is a big deal?

(66 Posts)
shelldockley Mon 16-Sep-13 10:38:48

My name is shell dockley, I am 34 and I do not drink tea or coffee. There, I've said it, is that a big deal? No, I don't think so, only for some reason my best friend always makes it one! Every single time I see her, whether it's at her house, mine, or out for lunch/shopping/day out, it gets mentionned, EVERY SINGLE TIME!
It is not an issue anywhere or with anyone else, they know I don't drink them, they offer me something I do drink, that's that. It irritates me that she makes a big deal out of it, but I can never say anything, in case that is seen as me making a big deal out of it, ha ha!

TigerSwallowTail Mon 16-Sep-13 10:40:50

I don't drink them either and have been met with shock before at the revelation, I don't see it as a big deal though.

Famzilla Mon 16-Sep-13 10:41:00

How does she make a big deal out of it? What does she say ?

Quite a few of my mates don't drink tea or coffee, and I probably mention it when they come round as a way of reminding myself they don't and thinking of what to offer them instead.

My name Is SP and I hate gravy and tomato sauce.

That is also something people seem to think is worthy of acknowledging often.

Cant believe you don't drink tea or coffee shock that is really strange


I dont really drink it either.

McNewPants2013 Mon 16-Sep-13 10:43:06

It's not a big deal.

I love coffee and have an occasional cup of tea, that my taste. It would be a pretty boring world if we all ate and drank the same things.

funnymummyspeaks Mon 16-Sep-13 10:44:27

I don't like cheese, chocolate or coffee and apparently that makes me weird!! Lol!

Fakebook Mon 16-Sep-13 10:44:41

I don't drink alcohol. That's met with bigger shock than tea and coffee abstinence.

TigerSwallowTail Mon 16-Sep-13 10:44:52

Just to be clear, I don't see not drinking tea or coffee as a big deal, not that it's not a big deal that people are shocked by it grin I should just act equally shocked that they drink the vile stuff in the first place.

SlobAtHome Mon 16-Sep-13 10:45:18

YABU, I would honestly have to think of what else to offer you. grin I have DS's squash, would that be ok? Or milk.

God I need to get more drink options in this house...

yoshipoppet Mon 16-Sep-13 10:46:04

I don't like tea or coffee either.
Apparently I am peculiar, but according to this thread, I am after all normal. Phew! What a relief.

What I like best is when someone says 'well, what DO you drink then?' as if there is nothing else drinkable in the world other than tea or coffee. Of course the standard response to that one is 'wine please' smile

SlobAtHome Mon 16-Sep-13 10:46:11

funnymummy yes that's makes you VERY odd. You just listed my three fav things! grin

absentmindeddooooodles Mon 16-Sep-13 10:48:03

I dont like tea. At all. Everyone thinks this strange and comments alot. Ive found that just asking for wine helps grin

Neither me or DH drink tea or coffee, people do tend to react like you've just told them you eat babies

angelos02 Mon 16-Sep-13 10:50:18

YANBU. I drink loads of water (about 6 pints a day) as I actually like it. I drink lots of wine too

shelldockley Mon 16-Sep-13 10:50:53

Famzilla, I think it is something to do with reminding herself, as the conversation always goes 'would you like a drink? oh, you don't like hot drinks do you...would you like a hot chocolate?' I do like hot chocolate, she knows this, we have known each other nearly 25 years, I can remember that she doesn't drink coffee!

My name is manchestermummy and I hate custard. And indeed any accompaniment to puddings. I hate cream and ice cream irritates my IBS big style so MIL please believe me when I say no thanks. I am not suggesting you are being inhospitable by refusing ice cream with the crumble, it's just I would rather not be having to spend the afternoon in your bathroom. And while we're on the subject, please stop asking if I would like a nice milky coffee. I take it black, and have done so for a lot longer than the ten years I have been with your son.

Sorry missed the point. YANBU. As you were.

I drink one brand of fruit tea, or decaff coffee at a pinch (but only half a teaspoonful of coffee otherwise it's too strong, and some cold water in the top as it's too hot to drink). So it's easier all round to ask for a glass of water, but the looks i get, and the faffing around of "oh well I do have this herbal tea, or I could put milk in it, are you sure just a glass of water, I'm sorry I don't have any mineral water, you don't mean tap water is OK do you" when surely glass, tap, put on table is so much easier?

Other folks are weird I find wink.

CooEeeEldridge Mon 16-Sep-13 10:56:52

Me either! I also don't drink ANY hot drinks. Yes this does Include hot chocolate, and no i dont need to try the snazzy Christmas ones.

Water / squash / wine will be fine thanks smile

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 16-Sep-13 10:59:20

Why not just laugh and say "you've known me for 25 years, how is it that you can't remember that I don't drink tea or coffee?"

every time she says it, reply with "and how long have we known each other?" and a big grin.

Oh yes, the "you want water?!" reaction. Like it's so damn odd.

shelldockley Mon 16-Sep-13 10:59:45

angelos I drink lots of water too, aren't we supposed to drink 2 litres a day or something? So why is that so weird?!

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer Mon 16-Sep-13 11:00:42

I don't drink tea or coffee. Or alcohol.
I also hate cheese and chocolate.

I am a freak grin

My MIL does this. She will eventually bring water, but with cordial in it!

MrsGSR Mon 16-Sep-13 11:06:02

I don't drink tea, coffee or wine.

Dad always offers me tea or coffee and is always shocked when I say I don't drink them! I never, ever have.

TCforTopCat Mon 16-Sep-13 11:06:25

I don't like hot liquids, so tea, coffee, hot chocolate, soup and gravy all get "no thank you" from me.
I am very happy with anything cold, water, squash, vodka etc.

People find it difficult to understand but surely it is simpler to give someone a glass of tap water than have to boil a kettle and then faff around asking about how much milk, how many sugars smile

Chattymummyhere Mon 16-Sep-13 11:07:58

My dh always says to me "one day you will become a proper adult and drink tea and coffee" it's a running joke I hate the taste so bad I cannot kiss him for a good 30minutes are drinking coffee..

Fizzy pop
Juice not orange though
Hot chocolate

All good options for me

McNewPants2013 Mon 16-Sep-13 11:08:19

What is so wrong with water. It's free has, no calories, glasses are easy to wash, hydrates the body, helps improve your skin, helps you think better and makes you more energetic.

shelldockley Mon 16-Sep-13 11:14:16

Hec I can't say anything now, it's too far gone!

MrsGSR, you have it worse than me if your own Dad doesn't remember!

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Mon 16-Sep-13 11:15:11

I dont drink either and yes people react to this "alarming" news like I've told them I quite fancy Nick Griffin (I dont really btw, just want to point that out before anyone jumps on me).

I dont see the big deal. I hate red wine too (white is ok). meh.

My dad still offers me tea and coffee. He's only known me my whole life, you'd think he'd have learnt by now wouldn't you?

JohnnyFontaneCannaeSing Mon 16-Sep-13 11:27:14

it's funny because its not a big deal but it also really annoys me too when someone doesn't drink tea or coffee. When they come to my house and say I'll just have a glass of water I actually want to throw said glass over them!! I just find it really anti social ! Don't know why it just really irks me. I do however recognise this is my failing at not the non tea/coffee drinker!!! blush

JaxTellerIsAllMine Mon 16-Sep-13 11:27:55

I know lots of people who dont drink tea/coffee - Im not shocked by it. I'd just offer you something else. soft drink, hot choc, herbal - but then I do have a cupboard dedicated to hot/cold drinks.

Sparklyblue Mon 16-Sep-13 11:32:14

I don't drink tea or coffee either. People think I am very strange.
I also don't like hot chocolate or any other hot drink and I don't like wine grin

Primrose123 Mon 16-Sep-13 11:36:01

I don't like tea, coffee or any alcoholic drinks. I've tried loads, don't like any of them, and am fed up of having to explain this to people.

I like a hot chocolate or a soft drink.

I don't like chocolate itself much though, and rarely eat it.

I love savoury things, cheese, bread, crisps - mmm wink

Doodledumdums Mon 16-Sep-13 11:38:35

I don't drink tea or coffee either! Or wine or beer...or alcohol in general really.

My MIL literally can't get her head around it and when we're at her house she asks what I want to drink and I always ask for water (as that is all she has that I will drink- really not a problem!)- which causes her to launch into some weird fake shock EVERY SINGLE TIME. 'What?! Just water? Really? But why?!' BECAUSE I HAVE TOLD YOU TEN MILLION TIMES THAT I DON'T DRINK HOT DRINKS OR ALCOHOL AND THAT IS ALL YOU HAVE! I really don't mind drinking water, but seeing as I have known her for five years and we see her every week, I don't think it would hurt her to just keep a bottle of squash in for me to drink, but if she doesn't want to do that then the very least i'd like would be for her to just not create a fuss every time I ask for water please!

Sorry, rant over!


shelldockley Mon 16-Sep-13 11:48:12

There seem to be lots of us, so how come people still find it so strange!

Doodle it sounds like your MIL is doing that to show you up or something, not that it's anything to be ashamed of!!

As a pp said, some people seem to look at it as something you have to drink to be a 'real adult'. That's the impression I get off bf. I think the ability to make my own decisions about my own taste is more 'adult' than what I drink!

LaBelleMadamePingouinSansMerci Mon 16-Sep-13 11:54:09

I don't drink tea or coffee either, no one's ever seemed shocked by it, though people sometimes look at me as if they think I'm a bit odd, my mum says I'm immature, and once when travelling overseas another English person told me I was being unpatriotic by not drinking tea (I think he was joking).

Once after I was offered tea at a friend's house, and I politely declined ("No thanks, I don't drink tea, I'm fine without a drink, thanks.") another "friend" who was there at the time, next time I saw her started passively aggressively going on about how she always accepts tea when she's offered it, even when she doesn't want it, because it's rude and churlish to turn it down. I really don't see how saying no to tea is rude...Surely it would be worse to make someone go to the trouble of making a drink when you don't want one?

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Mon 16-Sep-13 11:54:31

I'm not overly keen on coffee but I love tea. Can't drink red wine, don't like it and it gives me a headache.

I have a friend who doesn't like tea or coffee. When we go out she has a mocha and when she comes to mine she likes a mug of hot water. Each to their own.

Doodledumdums Mon 16-Sep-13 11:56:33

I think you are right, definitely wants to show me up. She also has an annoying habit of trying to get me to try wine all the time if we are there for dinner, and when I refuse she acts all offended, 'but it's French!' 'But it is Chilean!' 'But it is a beautiful red!' I don't care, I will not like it! Give up!

Glad I am not the only one who doesn't like 'adult' drinks...this is a good thread!

shelldockley Mon 16-Sep-13 12:02:53

I also don't like wine or champagne either, I'll drink it if it's for a toast though, or free with a meal grin

1PerCentofGargoylesLookLikeThi Mon 16-Sep-13 12:09:19

Get rid of your tv, that will give them all something to suck their teeth over.

"Did you see that thing about ...., well not 1% she does n't have a tv!!!"
Obviously if you don't have a tv you can't listen to the radio, read a paper, Private Eye, watch a DVD, go to the cinema, use Iplayer via the MASSIVE cinema screen in our basement.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 16-Sep-13 12:11:08

course you can grin as long as you do it with a genuine warm laugh.

TheCatIsUpTheDuff Mon 16-Sep-13 12:17:00

DH doesn't drink tea or coffee, and I have to say that when we started going out, I found it quite difficult because tea is so much the social lubricant. I got used to it with him, we have squashes and fizzy things and chocolate and beer and water and he's got a pretty wide selection, but I still find it a little bit uncomfortable when his dad comes round to do something useful, it's so automatic to give someone a hot drink when they come round it feels as though I'm being rude when the logical part of my brain knows that he doesn't like it, doesn't want it, never has and never will, so it would be ruder to try and press it on him. He's a veggie, and I wouldn't try to give him a ham sandwich, so why is there a difference in my mind with the cup of tea that he equally doesn't want?

5Foot5 Mon 16-Sep-13 12:41:01

DD (now 17) didn't use to like tea or coffee but over the last year or so she decided to train herself to like tea because she felt it would be more socially acceptable. (Her idea not mine - honest!)

She now genuinely likes tea but still can't abide coffee.

I like both but have never, ever liked milk in my tea.

It annoys me that if people offer you a coffee they will nearly always ask how you like it whereas with tea they very often make the assumption that you will take milk in it without even asking.

cashmiriana Mon 16-Sep-13 12:48:31

I don't drink tea or coffee.
Or alcohol.
And I am a veggie.

DH is exactly the same.

And to listen to some of his our family you'd think we were worthy of a feature on the national news.

ThisCollie Mon 16-Sep-13 13:14:11

5Foot5 - I did what your DD did when I was a teenager too! Great minds, eh? I love tea now.

However my name is Collie and I don't like desserts. Cake, meringue, sticky toffee pudding, crumbles, jelly, ice cream, fairy cakes, and biscuits - all out. And there's more desserts I dislike as well, I've just forgotten them. But the one that gets a reaction is cake - My mum will exclaim "it's just a slice of cake" as if I'm scared of it!

MotherofBear Mon 16-Sep-13 13:28:18

Ha, my Mum has never drunk coffee and has recently given up tea. It's great when she comes over, coz I don't need to make her a cuppa! grin
Not that I mind making my loved ones drinks, it was just that she was so incredibly fussy about her tea that it was a right hassle. I'm not fussy about mine nowadays, oh no, not me.....

MotherofBear Mon 16-Sep-13 13:28:44

I don't like chocolate cake...

DIYapprentice Mon 16-Sep-13 13:30:43

It's definitely about reminding themselves, I do something similar with my friend who doesn't drink tea or coffee, and others do the same with me, as I have my tea black.

(Although a lot of them do say 'you don't have milk, do you?' as they are pouring milk into my tea and then invariably have to tip it out and start again!!!!)

Sushiqueen Mon 16-Sep-13 13:33:20

Another one here who doesn't drink tea or coffee or hot chocolate, mullied wine etc.......

I can just about cope with a cup of black tea if I really have to but would prefer to drink cold drinks.

Have trained my dad now - he just askes if I want vodka, wine or beer grin

SueDoku Mon 16-Sep-13 14:00:21

I drink weak coffee but not tea no not in a million years unless you want me to be sick on your floor so it's easier to just ask for a glass of water. I like water, it's fine, no, I don't like squash - no, not even your special mango and passionfruit one - no, just plain tapwater is fine thanks.....No, don't bother opening the bottled water, tapwater will be great thanks - no, I don't like lime cordial - nor pineapple - nor vimto - JUST FUCKING WATER - oops, sorry I shouted..........

chirpchirp Mon 16-Sep-13 14:04:37

I don't drink hot drinks either. First time I met DH's grandmother she offered me a cup of tea and I politely declined explaining that I didn't like tea. She tutted at me, shook her head and walked away mumbling something about the kind of woman her grandson was marrying! grin

TheWinterOne Mon 16-Sep-13 14:08:46

I don't find it a big deal. I don't drink tea but do coffee. If you don't drink them, you don't. Everyone's tastes are different.

GoldenGytha Mon 16-Sep-13 14:15:28

I don't drink tea or alchohol at all, some people seem to be really horrified by that.

I used to drink a huge amount of coffee (black) but I only drink it now at someone's house, or occasionally if I meet a friend in town.

I much prefer to drink cold drinks, anything that isn't milk or water as I detest those too.

TheWinterOne Mon 16-Sep-13 14:21:54

I can't stand milk as a drink on it's own either.

shelldockley Mon 16-Sep-13 14:31:52

I love a glass of cold milk, but that gets equally bemused reactions when I ask for a glass with breakfast when staying in a hotel! Most staff direct me to the jug of room temp milk alongside the cereal, mmm yum.

I don't drink tea and the closest i get to coffee is a mocha latte. People think I'm weird too.

rockybalboa Mon 16-Sep-13 15:39:03

I don't drink them either, don't like the taste. Not often has it been a big deal. Some people are surprised and say "but what DO you drink?". Somehow I have made it to age 36 without total dehydration...

homeagain Tue 17-Sep-13 02:12:42

My DH hates tea and is a teetotaller and a veggie. And it took a long time for my DPs to get their heads round that. He also has 3 sugars in coffee, and this is often a cue for head shaking and long commentaries from people.

BeeMom Tue 17-Sep-13 02:30:17

I live in North America and don't fancy burgers or pizza.

Might as well hand over my passport now hmm

BadLad Tue 17-Sep-13 02:42:59

Any other onion haters?

The onion is unique among vegetables. If you dislike any other vegetable, people will just accept it.

Say you don't like onions, and people will look incredulously at you. They will probably ask you why, as if it is some choice you have made.

garlicbaguette Tue 17-Sep-13 02:55:30

Being dairy-free has given me a few moments. It's not a choice, I lament the loss of cheese, but the price I pay is too high. At a recent party, there was a table creaking under the amazing food everyone had made - absolutely none of which was dairy-free. People going, "Can you have just a bit of this/ One of those?" No, you lovely people, because you made it with butter, didn't you - like all sane people who don't have to scour the planet for vaguely acceptable alternatives.

Rant over. Sorry blush When people ask if you'd like a cuppa, smile sweetly and tell them you'd like a black coffee - made with cold water and no coffee wink

MistressDeeCee Tue 17-Sep-13 03:06:23

I don't drink tea or coffee. I dislike tomato sauce.

Also don't like fridge temperature cold drinks, room temperature is fine. No carton juices. I will drink squash with fizzy water, but not plain. Although I will drink tap or bottled still water

I can see from thread it really does take all sorted & that's fine, we all have our own tastes..

(My youngest hates onions yes I'm incredulous at that but am going to be more mindful in future)

nonmifairidere Tue 17-Sep-13 09:11:39

Truthfully, I find other people's food foibles a bore. Whining "I don't like this or that" is so childish. We are bliddy lucky to have choice- millions do not. I'm not donning any protective gear or digging a bunker because I do not give a flying fig what anyone thinks of my views.

hmm Well that's an odd reaction to people having preferences..

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