To get annoyed at the way all the parents at the school gate do this....

(71 Posts)
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sun 15-Sep-13 23:47:39

Instead of spreading out a bit and keeping the exit free, they all gather in a crowd inside the yard directly in front of the gates blocking it completely.


I hate sheep. I have tried to break the sheepy behaviour and wandered off alone into the VAST space that is the playground...hoping one of them will follow me...but no. They all huddle together, smack bang in front of the only exit.

As the DC come out, they have to cross the big yard to come towards this mass of parents...a hideous seething mass of Amandas and Richards...all lumped together. They might as well all wear one frigging waxed enormous waxed jacket for they have become PARENT.

No individuality is allowed....PARENT moves as one....speaks as one...and always blocks the frigging gate! AIBU to be getting madder and madder about it daily?

quoteunquote Sun 15-Sep-13 23:51:14
CocacolaMum Sun 15-Sep-13 23:51:33

Herd them! LOL

That's why I will turn up last to pick my son up. I get there dead on 9 at nursery and there's no crowds. Its great

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sun 15-Sep-13 23:52:20

grin I should! I have one of those....well it's DDs. I'm sure my DC would be thrilled by the sight of me expressing myself in the space.

pictish Sun 15-Sep-13 23:52:41

I agree with quote. Her idea is the very dab.

pictish Sun 15-Sep-13 23:53:24

I'd think you were wonderful and be resolved to make you my friend forthwith.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sun 15-Sep-13 23:53:27

SP Sadly, I get a lift and the lift is ALWAYS early. I am happy to have a lift...but God. The bore of it all....I want to chase towards the crowd and say "Shoo! Shoo!" and watch them scatter like hens and cocks.

notanyanymore Sun 15-Sep-13 23:53:53

No idea, I sit in the car till I see DD and then do a quick dash and grab! Parent politics at the school gates? Can't be arsed!!!

Take a unicycle and ride it around in all that space

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sun 15-Sep-13 23:55:06

Pictish I am tempted to take a handful of them and make the other parents join in. We could do a flash mob for the kids.

[worryingly I actually want to do that but I won't]

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sun 15-Sep-13 23:55:58

Sp I want to I want to!

Bogeyface Mon 16-Sep-13 00:00:03

All parents at the school gate do this?

I have been a school run mum for 19 years and have never done this.

YANBU to be pissed off at the ones that do though, I find that accidentally clipping their heels with the buggy help.

Last year the parents came through the gate and spread out towards their respective classrooms.
This year they are clustering by the gate. There must have been a memo that I missed. I've also noticed that some of them form a new cluster on the other side of the gate as they leave and chat with the many many people they know. So the gate is blocked on both sides and you get a dirty look for being rude enough to interrupt their chatting and asking them politely to move a little.
I tried getting there really early and setting a new trend for standing away from the gate - but no, they left me stood like Nobby No Mates.

MidniteScribbler Mon 16-Sep-13 00:14:04

Take a big dog and walk through the gate. People will scatter.

The HT would have me pinned to the floor in a headlock before I could get passed the cluster. She's not keen on dogs on school premises at all.

quoteunquote Mon 16-Sep-13 00:22:38

or get one of those really large pieces of chalk,

draw a large half circle around them, and say "stay", with a hand signal,

and walk backwards away from them with your hand still up.

if anyone goes to step over the line say,"No" and point them back.

DramaQueenofHighCs Mon 16-Sep-13 00:22:58

Ooh Blimey my DS's school must have some very polite mum's then!! The parents actually queue, yes queue outside the playground gates (that are inside the main reception gates) before they are opened up to allow access in to the bit beside the classrooms 5 mins before home time where they continue to queue. Then when the gates to outside the classrooms are opened (each classroom had a door opening straight to outdoors round the back of the school,) they form sort of double depth semi circles around each classroom door! Hmm obviously a naice area! Haha.

Chottie Mon 16-Sep-13 05:44:09

School collection seems to have got so complicated! Don't all these people filling the playground and blocking the gate have anything else to do?

Ours has become horrendous at one point with lots of the parents clustering around one door in a passageway about 3m wide there are about 60 parents whose little darling has to be the first to glimpse their parent and so end their long separation (all yr 3 and above) - I tell dd1 to come and find me somewhere in the expansive playground near dd2 classroom, we still have to fight our way through this bottleneck to get out. The school can't cope with a doubling of size.

lougle Mon 16-Sep-13 07:38:35

You could buy a hula hoop and use the ribbons to tie it around your waist, giving you a non-invasion zone?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 16-Sep-13 07:45:53

birthday God I thought that kind of thing stopped in year 1! Ours are juniors too.....we all stand miles away from the doors....but still humped together as one.

Shodan Mon 16-Sep-13 07:53:04

Our lot do spread out-until the teacher opens the door, and then you can guarantee that at least one will need to speak to the teacher and will block the whole doorway with their person, thus preventing the children from going in. Why they can't stand sideways on I don't know, or slightly to one side of the door.

It's a puzzle.

At our school the ones right outside the gate not only cluster, they also all light up and a cloud of smoke forms around them all for everyone to walk through angry

KatyTheCleaningLady Mon 16-Sep-13 08:26:17

I rarely do the pickup, but I tend to wear headphones and stand apart when I do.

I used to be very outgoing, but I don't care to try and make friends as an outsider anymore.

KatyTheCleaningLady Mon 16-Sep-13 08:28:30

midnight The topic of big dogs at the school gates could make an epic AIBU thread. grin

BrokenSunglasses Mon 16-Sep-13 08:40:20

YANBU! This used to drive me crazy on a daily basis, and I started pretty much the same thread a couple of years ago too. Every singe day I'd find myself wanting to scream JUST FUCKING MOVE to these idiots that get to school half an hour before pick up because it was the highlight of their social life, and then stand there right at the gate.

Thankfully my dc are at secondary now so I don't have to deal with it. I actually miss picking my dc up from school now!

DeWe Mon 16-Sep-13 10:16:22

Well if all the parents do it... then maybe you ought to stop first.

LadyCelia Mon 16-Sep-13 11:58:43

The teachers at DS's school have this sussed. When the parents crowd the doorway or gate, one of the teachers will always say to a pupil, now now, where are your manners? Can you move out of the way please so others can get through - then the child will drag their parent out of the doorway. I've seen this happen about 10 times so far and DS has only been at school for a week.

kilmuir Mon 16-Sep-13 12:04:23

Know what you mean OP. parents spread out at start, then lunge forward at glimpse of the teacher bringing the children out. Trouble is parents are nearly right on top of child queue and teacher so she cannot see anyone!

nicename Mon 16-Sep-13 12:08:54

We don't have space to wait for the kids. They are thrown out the front door, through the gate and onto the road. It is no fun! On the up side, it must be bloody awful for all the zillionaires who live on the street.

And as for Volvos... do the new ones have zero visibility or serious parking problems? Folks on the school run just can't seem to park them without banging the cars on either side.

KirstyJC Mon 16-Sep-13 12:15:22

We don't have this problem when they come out, but dropping off is a nightmare! There is a door, the teacher opens it. The parents are all in a rough line, and yet for some reason it takes up to 10 minutes to drop the children off if you are at the end of the line. 10 minutes!! For max 30 kids! How does that happen? How can it take that flipping long - what are the parents at the start of the queue doing that takes so long? When I get to the door it's "goodbye, have a nice day, see you later" turn and leave. 10 secs at the most. I just don't get it?

They are supposed to let the Reception kids in 5 mins before the older ones, so you have time to drop the younger ones and walk round to the other entrance for the older ones. Luckily DS1 is old enough to walk himself otherwise he would be 5 mins late every day!

Ev1lEdna Mon 16-Sep-13 12:17:43

I don't crowd round the exit! I love my children but I'm not so enamored of all the others leaving school that I want to be caught in the stampede. Mine just look for me at the top end of the yard.

AndThatsWhatIThinkOfYou Mon 16-Sep-13 12:22:30

this is so annoying and happens at my sons school I often have to push my pram through saying EXCUSE ME!!!! a few times

Mumsyblouse Mon 16-Sep-13 12:23:57

I complained about the crush around one tiny door when my children started reception, pointing out that squeezing 60 kids and all their parents was a recipe for disaster plus the children were pushing and shoving which contributed to the general behavioral disorder that was endemic in the school generally. They changed the layout, moved the coats, started using another set of doors for one class, much much better.

I think lots of schools should consider pupil 'flow' because if they get it wrong, it can contribute to a general sense of distress (for the little ones) and bad behaviour as they are squashed in like sardines.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 16-Sep-13 12:26:42

This doesn't happen at our school. People mingle, chat, the little siblings play together while we wait.

Where the hell do you people live that there is all this weirdness??

fluffyraggies Mon 16-Sep-13 12:31:45

Slightly off topic but about chatting in inappropriate places ...

I'd like to know why folk think it's ok to stop and chat right in the bloody middle of the entrance to supermarkets angry

Small enough gaps between the security tag detector things as it is to get your trolly through! People with trollys all trying to get in and out at the same time and then you have these folk who decide to have a pow wow right in the bleedin' door way!

and breath ...

nicename Mon 16-Sep-13 12:33:34

Our old school was worse. You had to run to gauntlet of the maman gangs who would huddle together to gossip/moan and watch you as you went by as if they were giving a critique of your outfit (like I really care!). They would hand out in the (narrow) reception area hallway, on the steps of the only door and on the pavements outside (with prams, buggies and younger siblings haring up and down on scooters).

KatyTheCleaningLady Mon 16-Sep-13 12:36:09

I was thinking the same thing, fluffy!

thegreylady Mon 16-Sep-13 12:37:02

At our school the dc are only 'released' when the teacher can see the parent/guardian for KS1 so everyone spreads out.KS2 are let out into a separate playground and have to stay till collected unless they have been authorised to walk home on their own.

wink1970 Mon 16-Sep-13 14:00:09

It could be worse, they could all be in cars parked on both sides of the pavement, on the pavement, up lampposts, over & sometimes IN private drives, etc.... then the single-file-only space gets blocked by a mum who stops, in her car, for a chat with one of the parked car people.

I see this outside our local school every day.

Not angry at all, nope.

nicename Mon 16-Sep-13 14:39:10

We also have loads of mommees with dogs. Its 'dodge the poo' all around the school.

MidniteScribbler Tue 17-Sep-13 00:48:13

midnight The topic of big dogs at the school gates could make an epic AIBU thread

grin AIBU to take a litter of puppies in to my classroom and put them in a pen in the reading corner for kids to cuddle while they read their books? wink

Spermysextowel Tue 17-Sep-13 02:42:56

Amandas? I've never met an adult called Amanda. Not many Colins, Nigels or Ians either. I'm sure I knew several when I was a child. Did they name change or did something sinister happen?

nicename Tue 17-Sep-13 09:00:27

I know two Amandas.

MadeOfStarDust Tue 17-Sep-13 09:09:43

It changes when they move up to secondary....

"have you got your bus ticket/key/money/phone/bag? bye.... " all done from the comfort of the breakfast table.... BLISS.....

LookingThroughTheFog Tue 17-Sep-13 09:16:59

Birthday, I wonder if we have children at the same school! Years 3 and 4 have doors close together at an extremely narrow passageway, right next to the main entrance. 60 parents waiting for children, the rest of the school trying to push past to the exit, prams squeezing past... I literally can't manage it, and am sending a note in to release DS without seeing me as the passageway sends me into a massive panic. I'll be outside DDs door where there's acres of space to wait.

I understand it wasn't so bad when the middle exit was open, but they don't open it any more. The choices are the exit at the other side of the playground, or the main entrance past the narrow passage.

KatyTheCleaningLady Tue 17-Sep-13 09:37:38

I think the insistence that all children are picked up by a parent is partly to blame. My 9yo should be able to walk home alone, but the school insists that they're not old enough.

KatyTheCleaningLady Tue 17-Sep-13 09:38:42

Although I would still be picking up the youngest two. I just think older kids should walk if the parents deem it safe.

curlew Tue 17-Sep-13 09:44:28

God, OP, you must so individual and quirky and original - no wonder the "sheep" upset you........

SummerRain Tue 17-Sep-13 09:45:45

I walk and enter the school grounds at a different point so stand inside the gate away from the herd. Ds2 is always the first let out as I'm the only parent the teacher cab identify from a distance grin

We have parking wars too, every parent wants to park on the roundabout which fits about 4 cars. 20 kids and I'm the only one who doesn't drive to collect. It's very amusing, especially when someone commits the cardinal sin of not pulling the full way round the roundabout and other parents get twitchy and angry that they've left half a cars space empty.

We've had shouting matches, police involvement, cars being damaged. Priceless grin

gamerchick Tue 17-Sep-13 09:58:37

I love the chalking a circle idea.. nearly choked to death on breakfast grin

It's the chatting parents that walk so slow.. is there any need!

Although the couple of traffic wardens who swooped on the lazy gits to drive to school (I'm talking literally around the corner) and dished tickets out last term was amusing to watch.

Maggietess Tue 17-Sep-13 10:03:52

Our school is absolutely huge but they do it quite well. 3 different exit points for different classes in junior school and a bug painted line on the playground that parents should stay behind. Then each class has a painted dot that they line up on in the morning/come out to in the afternoon so parents know which side to stand on.

All seems to work kinda fine and actually the parents are all very nice and sociable so plenty of pleasant chat too.

I thought I'd dread the school run but I'm there 3 times a day at the moment and it's fine.

peachactiviaminge Tue 17-Sep-13 10:23:17

Ah the mummy Mafia do it here. Lots of pushchairs, fags all round or spliffs if its a bad day, screaming at the children to stop. wing little bastards while mummy discusses her latest fight with social services or the school itself. Then when the kids come out its time to go screech at the teachers instead. Even parents whose children have graduated to the academy attend pick up often arriving 20 minutes early.

I haven't done pick up since DD was 7 as we're so close to the school and the buggy brigade give me such rage.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 17-Sep-13 10:45:13

Spliffs!? My God! Our school is in a small vairy naice village and nobody smokes (I can't afford to live IN the village mind you) and the parents all drive three feet in their BMWs to drop their precious DC off when it's raining....twats We get the bus! Poor DDs grin

PiddlingWeather Tue 17-Sep-13 10:57:12

This is why I am so glad that DD gets the bus to/from school. I only have to pick her up a few times a year. Last time I remembered why I hate it so- luckily the school is relatively clique free, being rural, with most children living on farms etc- but there is a small clique, and my god, their behaviour is worse than any child.

lineup Tue 17-Sep-13 11:02:54

you need a sheepdog OP

ipswichwitch Tue 17-Sep-13 11:07:13

lineup you beat me to it! Op, you need to go all "one man and his dog" on them. Borrow a sheepdog and get them all herded into a nice fences enclosure, only to be allowed out when their DC appear. It will make for a nice tidy yard too!

lineup Tue 17-Sep-13 11:13:09

lol Ipswich, Remember to practise your whistling too!
Really though Op, you do have a valid point, independent thought is rapidly vanishing from society, esp amongst parents doing school run. I feel your pain. There is so much fussing out there!

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Tue 17-Sep-13 11:43:36

my son's primary used to file the kids out and line them up against the wall like a firing squad and teacher would only give them the nod to move when she saw the parent authorised to pick up. took ages.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 17-Sep-13 12:48:28

I don't find the parents cliquey...they'll always talk if you want to join's just the dozy way they all stand in front of the gates that winds me up.

kungfupannda Tue 17-Sep-13 12:56:21

We had a not-particularly-entertaining escalator moment at the weekend. DP carrying DS2, me holding an already-whinging DS1's hand. Family further down got off the escalator and decided to rearrange the shopping in the buggy - in the actual exit of the escalator.

This meant that we had to do a cartoon-like treading-water type thing, trying to stay in one spot on the escalator in order to avoid being launched straight onto the buggy. They noticed after a few seconds and moved forward about a foot - so everyone then piled up in the exit, meaning that everyone further up the escalator had to start cartoon water-treading process.

They were eventually sort of pushed out of the way by the every-expanding crowd of people, and were clearly very disgruntled about it! They were speaking English, but did not appear to understand "excuse me", even when it was being yelled in chorus by about fifteen people all trying to occupy the same two foot square of space.

Very strange.

Mojavewonderer Tue 17-Sep-13 13:43:22

Hehe this thread made me laugh. I had visions of the op herding the parents all over the playground...hilarious ;)

anewyear Tue 17-Sep-13 14:02:17

Im an Amanda..
I don't this...

FeathersMcGraw Tue 17-Sep-13 14:20:39

Sorry, kungfupannda but grin

The picture in my head of everybody half way up the escalator cartoon water-treading...

quoteunquote Wed 18-Sep-13 10:48:13

when you draw the circle, leave two gaps, draw an arrow going into the circle on one gap, and another going out,

Stand at the other side of the playground, and if anyone attempts to cross the line in the wrong location, shake your head, say No.

MillionPramMiles Wed 18-Sep-13 11:26:13

I'll never have to do the school pick up because by the time dd is school age either we'll only be awarded a school place in an overcrowded portacabin several miles away or we'll have to go private (in either case we'll both have to be at work to pay someone else to do it).
Flexible working is a dim and distant dream for most people.

elliejjtiny Wed 18-Sep-13 11:51:21

peach I think our DC's go to the same school grin. It's not all bad though. When I found out DS4 had a cleft lip I thought someone would say something awful about him. When he was in special care I got "'ow's the babby?" from people I didn't even know. The first time I took him on the school run there was a chorus of "ahh, bless 'im" when I took him out of his pram smile.

We have a similar set up with a fence and gate, but there is a white line in a semi circle that parents are not allowed to cross so the kids have a fighting chance of getting out alive. I'm afraid i'm one of the annoying parents that stands at the very front on the line.

Dahlen Wed 18-Sep-13 12:19:28

It's because people are desperate not to look like Billy no mates, so as soon as they spot someone they know, they go over to them and start talking to them. This results in clustering. If it's a problem, mention it to the secretary, who will probably add something in the next newsletter politely inviting parents to make sure they don't block the entrances.

peachactiviaminge Wed 18-Sep-13 13:51:51

Ellie could well be actually! There's a real sense of community here even if they can be a massive bunch of twats they'd all go out of their way for the little ones.

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