To feel a bit depressed/upset that people need to behave this way...

(55 Posts)
Gossipmonster Sun 15-Sep-13 17:46:35

At the supermarket this afternoon (Tesco for those who need to judge grin). Possibly feeling a bit low/sensitive as OH just gone away back to the forces after having 2 months together.

Walking up the aisle there was a group of adults and children stood in the middle of the "junction" of the aisle totally blocking it. One very large "lady" (by large I mean massive - wider than my trolley) directly in my way. One of the other ladies said to her "Oi Kel move yer arse someone wants to get through" "Kel" looked around, gave me a really hard stare moved aside but said "And? Why the fuck should I give a shit?" (Children still present) and then stood in front of the cold meats totally blocking them from me - and actually made me feel a bit intimidated - I did assert myself and get what I needed but why would a grown woman behave like that? In Tesco?!

WTAF is wrong with these people? How can we expect our children to grow up and behave in a civilised manner when I it seems a fair few adults cannot?

I find it really quite depressing.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Sun 15-Sep-13 17:49:51

Go to Waitrose grin

SaucyJack Sun 15-Sep-13 17:52:53

You can't really claim the moral high ground when you're happy to publicly mock somebody's weight on a public internet forum.

pictish Sun 15-Sep-13 17:55:04

Well yes, but they're a rarity. None of us have encounters like that regularly.

Think of it this way - they are like that because their life is shit, and they have a great big chip on their shoulder about it, to the point where they are past caring.

I would just roll my eyes and carry on with my day, which is sure as hell going to be better than theirs, even taking into account their attempt to bring it down to their own level.

Don't give them another thought.

Gossipmonster Sun 15-Sep-13 17:55:06

Mocking would have involved taking the piss or saying something wan?

She was larger than my trolley and I couldn't get past her.

RoonilWazlibWuvsHermyown Sun 15-Sep-13 17:55:31

YANBU. I find it depressing too.

Gossipmonster Sun 15-Sep-13 17:55:32

*mean

cannotfuckingbelievethis Sun 15-Sep-13 17:56:18

YANBU...although I suspect you may get pulled up for referring to this lovely woman as a "large" lady !

I shop in Asda (oh, the shame...) or Lidl and in my part of the country you see and hear some crackers in Asda, especially swearing at kids which I detest.

Hope you got some nice wine/cake from Tesco to tuck into tonight grin

saying she is large isn't mocking.
it's a statement.

hmm

cannotfuckingbelievethis Sun 15-Sep-13 17:58:04

SaucyJack In what way is the OP mocking ? If the woman had been the size of Kate Moss then the OP would have been able to easily pass her but she wasn't, so it's kind of relevant to the story. No ?

Gossipmonster Sun 15-Sep-13 17:58:11

I was in sports direct (not sure if that's okay?) yesterday and there was a lady in there just yelling and swearing at her three small kids for the entire 20 mins I endured in there. One was pram aged sad

HeySoulSister Sun 15-Sep-13 17:59:06

Well if she was large she was large. Her friend maybe embarrassed her with her comment so she brazened it out?

Fairyliz Sun 15-Sep-13 17:59:19

I know what you mean op its quite depressing and happening more and more.

IslaValargeone Sun 15-Sep-13 17:59:31

Mocking? Didn't get that
Descriptive, Yes.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Sun 15-Sep-13 18:00:09

'Large' is a descriptive word and was necessary to explain why the OP needed to get past.

She wasn't mocking, she was painting a mental picture..!

hiddenhome Sun 15-Sep-13 18:01:00

People are becoming more ill mannered sad

I would just like to defend 'Kel's' out there. They we aren't all like that!

Snatchoo Sun 15-Sep-13 18:02:03

Well, you described her as 'a large "lady"', so maybe the mocking was that she was a lady? grin

Only messing OP, YANBU. Surely the only response to an excuse me is to move and smile, maybe apologise as well?

Snatchoo Sun 15-Sep-13 18:02:36

Fucking are SP I hate all Kels grin

TheRunawayTrain Sun 15-Sep-13 18:03:10

YANBU. Most people are great. Even us Kels. But some people have lost most of their manners sad

Sadly some people are just vile and she was one of them.

Runaway Amen sister

HarrietSchulenberg Sun 15-Sep-13 18:03:53

Why is it not OK to state that the woman was large, Saucy Jack? Perhaps you could come up with an alternative description, seeing that her size was relevant to the story (had she been slim the OP would a) probably have been able to get past, and b) probably not been so intimidating).

OP, there's always been people out there like that. My mum has tales of rudeness from when she was growing up in the 1940s, but the difference is that back then other people would get involved and would protect the victim whilst shaming the perpetrator.

cannotfuckingbelievethis Sun 15-Sep-13 18:04:48

Gossip - Sports Direct ? Jesus, you're just looking for a flaming now aren't you ? grin

Gossipmonster Sun 15-Sep-13 18:06:12

I needed 5 pairs of trainers and a pair of football boots blush.

cannotfuckingbelievethis Sun 15-Sep-13 18:09:50

Slightly off topic...but YABU to go to Sports Direct...I hate that bloody shop but it's the only place for decent priced trainers for the kids isn't it. The clothes rails are so close together though that I always end up getting the pram caught in them and look like I'm trying to shop lift about 40 football tops/

I was in a Wetherspoons (I know I know but she lives opposite so it is handy place to meet) this afternoon with my sister and a boy said "can we sit in a booth not a table, the wooden chairs are too hard" and the Dad replied "What if I fuckin crack one 'o them o'er your heed - see how hard they are then?" Seriously - why?!

Gossipmonster Sun 15-Sep-13 18:22:58

I was walking down the street in the summer and this guy came out of the bookies and walked right into my path forcing me to swerve out of his way and instead of saying thanks he said "stupid fucking bitch lucky I didn't fucking deck you" shock.

CatsWearingTutus Sun 15-Sep-13 18:32:34

The swearing at children is absolutely vile (not that's wearing at adults isn't) and my heart really goes out to the poor little things at the mercy of the monsters they call their parents. I hear it on the train all the time as well as at Tescos and seems to be terribly frequent. It's awful but I don't think there's anything I can do. I've thought about saying something but they're sure to just take it out on the children later, making things worse.

OliviaPope Sun 15-Sep-13 18:33:57

I agree with pictish, enjoy your life and don't give them a second thought. They can't be entirely happy with their life to act like that so I would feel sorry for them and move on!

SoftKittyWarmKitty Sun 15-Sep-13 18:37:28

God, OP, where do you live? It sounds like it's full of foul-mouthed, ignorant fuckwits.

obviouslyneedsupernanny Sun 15-Sep-13 19:16:07

Some people are just horrible. As a kind and decent person its hard to understand.

I went in Sports Direct Friday for the first time ever! It was track suit hell. grin I did like some of the prices on shoes for Dd though.
But us Poor folks have to shop where we can. I also visited Aldi, Lidl and Pound stretcher on the same day. confused

JazzApazz Sun 15-Sep-13 20:36:48
ExitPursuedByADragon Sun 15-Sep-13 20:40:33

I agree. Some people are just so depressing.

applecrumbleandcream Sun 15-Sep-13 20:45:06

YANBU...... makes me feel physically sick hearing adults swearing at or in the presence of children. It's disgusting !!!

LostMarbles99 Sun 15-Sep-13 20:46:17

Go to marks and spencer

Gossipmonster Sun 15-Sep-13 20:48:10

I have full respect to you for taking a pram into sports direct - the thought of it makes me feel sick ......

zoobaby Sun 15-Sep-13 21:04:23

A colleague once told me (and I've come to believe it) that there are some people out there who have no power/respect in their lives so they have to acquire what they deem to be "power/respect" through these types of behaviours.

CoffeeTea103 Sun 15-Sep-13 21:14:06

That woman sounds horrible. And yes large is large.

daisychain01 Sun 15-Sep-13 22:29:39

Gossip, I agree with you and you are DDDNBU. The thought that people are behaving like this and talking like this in a public place with children present is shameful. If that happened with my DS present I would have made sure I told him how awful they were, so he knows it is unacceptable behaviour.

I have thought for a long time that supermarkets should take greater control and police the store much more actively

Foul language, people walking in with no tops on, no shoes on etc in the summer, should result in the offenders being asked to leave the store until they can behave in an acceptable manner (preferably by a big burley security guard). Or failing that, physically ejected from the store!!

And I don't think gossip was mocking that woman's size, she was stating a fact in a reasonable way IMO.

Fabulousleonora Sun 15-Sep-13 23:24:21

Fully agree with daisychain01 - clearly a woman after my own heart! I have a real thing about men walking about without tops unless they are on the beach/at the swimming pool/spa etc. So unhygienic and uncivilised IMO and supermarkets should not allow them inside - but I digress.

Yes Gossipmonster, it is horribly depressing. Only today, popped into the big Tesco (where I virtually never step foot in, not for snob reasons, just all those aisles of choice flummox me) for a particular item. A Korean gentleman in front of me was rather dangerously putting his brolly down and walking with it pointing outwards. A man coming out of the store glared at him and mouthed of, saying 'F*ing idiot, f*ing dangerous etc etc'. Why he couldn't have simply said 'Watch your brolly, mate' or similar, I don't know, the brolly didn't actually go anywhere near him. It just seems now that it is accepted that people are going to swear in public, and we can't do a thing about it.

When my children were little (they are now teenagers), I remember automatically saying 'Excuse me' sharply to a teenager who swore in front of them - amazingly, he apologised! Wouldn't dare do this now, for fear of physical violence.

You do have to choose the shops and location carefully to hear less of this sort of thing - Waitrose, John Lewis, M&S - if you can afford it. Otherwise invest in some high-quality ear plugs smile

Yamyoid Sun 15-Sep-13 23:34:00

Sports direct treat their staff like shit. And it is hell with a buggy.

The size of trolley comment was a dig.

Agree with Pictish.

pigsDOfly Mon 16-Sep-13 00:00:06

This sort of thing really is depressing. In the park the other day, mother with 3 children eldest about 11, she's screaming in his face and swearing at him, he walked away from her across the park and as the argument continued he started shouting and swearing back at her; no respect on either side.

What hope is there for the children of that type of parent to grow up as polite adults. Pretty much nil I imagine.

Rockinhippy Mon 16-Sep-13 00:02:16

Lidl must have been shut grin

thistlelicker Mon 16-Sep-13 00:03:16

Primark is hell too

sleepdodger Mon 16-Sep-13 00:09:37

Asda
Nappy Aisle
'Taylor get the fuck off them nappies'
Taylor was about 8 and scaling the shelves shock
I usually shop at sainos or asda but the pampers jumbo boxes are much cheaper at asda... Reading that back I'm not sure it's actually worth it...

WahIzzit Mon 16-Sep-13 00:41:26

Yanbu op

Dh and I were in Asda, had dc in the trolley and looking at some item in the George section. Very little space between aisles, and didn't realise somebody needed to get past. He muttered 'fuckin move then', now I dont think I was supposed to hear it but I did. So I replied 'I heard that!' Dh wanted to know what was said so I told him before practically dragging him away as he was itching to pick an argument with the man. Honestly, cant take him anyway!

CeliaLytton Mon 16-Sep-13 00:58:08

YANBU

sleepdodger at least mum was attempting to stop Taylor scaling the shelves, you can't have everything!

BeCool Mon 16-Sep-13 01:16:13

Ocado have just given me free delivery for 2 months. I'm aiming to shop wisely and not go into a supermarket for two freaking months!! grin. Will get fruit and vege from stall near work.

What a blissful experiment!

<relieved>

kali110 Mon 16-Sep-13 01:51:50

Because some people have no manners and dont teach their kids any op.
Btw marks is not any better, iv heard customers swear at the staff and other customers.
Im scared of what society is going to be like in a few years!

Chottie Mon 16-Sep-13 05:40:09

There was a trolley rage incident in my local M&S last Christmas. A woman rammed a man with her trolley. He fell over and was taken to hospital with a fractured skull.

Taz1212 Mon 16-Sep-13 08:41:27

YANBU at all! My pet peeve is the amount of "fuck" and " fucking" I hear around children. Why??? Is it really needed???

I hate Sports Direct too but it's the only place around here that sells rugby boots so end up in it at least once a year. It's a nightmare trying to find staff to get the right sizes.

Mandy2003 Mon 16-Sep-13 09:16:11

I seriously wonder on the mentality of anyone who thinks its easier to mutter "Fuckin move then" rather than say clearly "Excuse me" (with or without the please!)

Sinful1 Mon 16-Sep-13 10:01:24

I think once you reach a certain..."width" you should have to go on a course to learn how to be in public without being a nuisance. Kinda like a HGV license

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