To be disappointed with my lie in

(52 Posts)
Thatsnotmychicken Sat 14-Sep-13 08:08:18

Dh is taking dcs swimming while I catch up on some sleep. So far I have been asked,

'where are my swimming trunks?'(with all the swimming stuff)

'Where is the dcs shampoo?' (In the shower?)

'where is the dcs hairbrush?' (On dc1s dressing table)
both girls want to wear dresses and its raining -

'which pair of rights should they wear under these dresses?'

So much for my lie in - is it really that difficult?

littlewhitebag Sat 14-Sep-13 08:10:50

That sounds par for the course.

But just think of the deep sigh you can give when they finally leave the house and you are left in deep and peaceful silence.

SilverApples Sat 14-Sep-13 08:12:31

It will be easier in following weeks, he just needs practise. Lots and lots of practise. grin
The wittering about what the children are wearing, do you fuss and flap if he gets it wrong usually? Stop.

EsTutMirLeid Sat 14-Sep-13 08:13:26

This is virtually every lie in for me. sad

I've resigned myself to not having a 'real' lie in until DS is a teenager (and wants lie ins of his own).

SilverApples Sat 14-Sep-13 08:15:41

Then work out why your partner is unable to get on with things by himself, why your children don't know where their stuff is (unless they are very small) and why he feels he needs your approval for every step.
Fix that, enjoy the lie in. Packing bags the night before works well.

littlewhitebag Sat 14-Sep-13 08:21:15

Lie ins don't always improve when they are teenagers. They then have sports matches on a Saturday morning or weekend jobs they need a lift to. Or if you are like me, fear of an empty nest drives you to get a puppy, who wakes early and needs a walk.

peggyundercrackers Sat 14-Sep-13 08:28:49

put a lock on your bedroom door? when he goes out lock it so he needs to think for himself

shrinkingnora Sat 14-Sep-13 08:31:40

On the upside, while you are lying in bed he will be trying to put tights on damp children. Fool.

SilverApples Sat 14-Sep-13 08:32:20

'so he needs to think for himself'

or so you have time to reflect on possibly how over-controlling you might be, and how you've made others feel that they have to run every decision past your judgement?
How old are the children?

YoniMontana Sat 14-Sep-13 08:32:32

Lay everything out the night before so he knows where it is?

SilverApples Sat 14-Sep-13 08:33:12

OP is now righteously unconscious, and will return around 11ish.

LazyGaga Sat 14-Sep-13 08:37:10

SilverApples - lay off the OP. You're jumping to conclusions on the basis of a few lines of texts - so the OP is controlling and difficult to please?

Or maybe, just maybe, the husband's a bit useless?

SilverApples Sat 14-Sep-13 08:40:47

But why is he useless?
Why is he asking her what his children should wear?

SilverApples Sat 14-Sep-13 08:44:34

It's not the OP, Lazy. It's the constant complaints on here of how useless, incapable and incompetent the partners of MNetter's are.
How they can't do anything in the home right, how they never do anything to help, how hard it is to be partnered with a bloke who is such a prat.
These same men who mostly hold down good jobs and function well in the world outside the home.
So what makes them change into such squeaky, wet, indecisive wimps when confronted with their own children and a wardrobe full of clothes to choose from?

Antidote Sat 14-Sep-13 08:47:57

Well my lie-in is being conducted to the soundtrack of my nearly 3 year old DS screaming demands at the top of his voice "i want a cuddle, I want to go downstairs, I want a banana, I want daddy" (he's with daddy ffs).

I'm not even sure it counts as a lie in if you've only had 3 hours sleep (thanks DD).

DH is trying to be consistent, but he's usually so distracted by fucking Twitter that it's confusing the hell out of DS.

Ho hum. Approx 30min till next feed I guess.

Thatsnotmychicken Sat 14-Sep-13 08:49:07

Have you got a hangover silver apples!

I was just sharing, thought it was amusing!

I don't care what they wear to be fair but have been known to laugh at some interesting combinations in the past, so am probably to blame

Lol at putting tights on damp children later- he definitely wouldn't have thought of that!

SilverApples Sat 14-Sep-13 08:52:57

No hangover, am returning DD and possessions to Uni. grin
I've been with my OH for 30 years, wouldn't have made three if he was as incompetent as many partners described on this site.
You are entitled to an undisturbed lie in, every Saturday. So help make it happen. Get your children to pack their kit the night before, and have something simple they wear to the activity like a track suit. Then he needn't even wake you up.

littlewhitebag Sat 14-Sep-13 08:57:20

silverapples I think OP's DH sounds very normal. Not feckless and lazy, just slightly clueless about run of the mill stuff which mums tend to have a sixth sense about. My DH was very much like this when the kids were small but he is the loveliest, most dedicated dad ever.

SilverApples Sat 14-Sep-13 08:59:41

I don't think he's lazy, I think he's unskilled.

LazyGaga Sat 14-Sep-13 09:04:02

Well I do think it's a bit useless to have to ask where theshampoo is. A quick investigation of the bathroom would normally get results without having to ask!

EsTutMirLeid Sat 14-Sep-13 09:04:14

Damp tights... Ho Ho. 2 shouting damp children in a cubicle to sort out while he stands there all cold and wet. He has definitely drawn the short straw.

My DH is like yours op. he's a great dad, a great DH but he too would be 'where's this? where's that?' it does not make him useless, lazy or unskilled.

diddl Sat 14-Sep-13 09:06:21

Ooh that's annoying.

Lazyness his part as in easier to ask than look himself?

Next time tell him to get it all ready the night before.

And the irls want to wear dresses-so he's letting them-with tights?

Oh how lovely!

clam Sat 14-Sep-13 09:07:59

YoniMontana: "Lay everything out the night before so he knows where it is?"
shock Seriously? The OP has to do this for him??

<<Checks calendar that we're not in the 1950s...>>

diddl Sat 14-Sep-13 09:10:07

"but he too would be 'where's this? where's that?' it does not make him useless, lazy or unskilled."

What does it make him, then?

Because I realy can't see that there are that many places in a house where swimming kit/shampoohmm would be.

And which tights with dresses??

How many different thicknesses do your daughters have, OP-and would they know which tights they would like to wear?

EverybodysStressyEyed Sat 14-Sep-13 09:14:37

I thought I'd written the op!

My lot have just left and despite the swimming bags being packed I still ended up having to get up to get you hear dressed because dh was running late. And then he couldn't find the car keys (I don't drive so have no reason to know where they are but it somehow falls within my remit).

It irritates the hell out of me that dh gives me the lie ins at the weekend but in reality it's no such thing.

Luckily he has redeeming qualities and him taking them swimming means I can get ready in peace for once!

Thatsnotmychicken Sat 14-Sep-13 09:17:04

I know and love my Dh and I suspect there are many men out there who wouldn't take dcs swimming at 8.30 in the morning, he is a clever competent individual who will ask rather than look probably because he is lazy and is completely mystified by girls clothing.

I am sorry this seems to be being taken a lot more seriously than I intended! Please lighten up its Saturday morning and I have a child free house!

Also I cba to pack a bag the night before so next time will keep my observations to myself.

Maryann1975 Sat 14-Sep-13 09:38:58

In my house I would have packed the bags last night and laid out all the clothes ready so there would have been no excuse for waking me. I know this doesn't help anyone in the long term, but they can practise getting ready without my help when there isn't something as crucial as me having a lie going on.

diddl Sat 14-Sep-13 09:48:15

Oh OP!

But why aren't some men able or expected to do these things?

And the fact that they do an activity with their own children makes up for all other shortcomings!

Bowlersarm Sat 14-Sep-13 09:51:43

It's just family life though,isn't it?

I don't think I ever got to actually sleep on any of my lie ins when the children were small. Was interrupted all the time by DH or DC. However it was nice to take a coffee back to bed and just not be responsible for anybody for once.

Bowlersarm Sat 14-Sep-13 09:54:08

I think people are taking it seriously because you used the word 'disappointed' in thread title which is quite a gloomy word!

Glad you aren't taking it seriously OP. (lack of lie in, I mean, or rather 'sleep' in)

kim147 Sat 14-Sep-13 10:20:56

There is an element of truth in what silverapples says about how some men are almost scared to make their own decisions as they fear the criticism from their OH if they make a mistake.

MovingForward0719 Sat 14-Sep-13 10:25:27

Get it all ready the night before and tell them they have to do it independently, I do this but my 9 year still talks me into getting up because "I like being with you".

clam Sat 14-Sep-13 10:51:20

WHY does the WOMAN have to get the bags ready the night before for the MAN to take his own flipping children out?

diddl Sat 14-Sep-13 12:02:11

"WHY does the WOMAN have to get the bags ready the night before for the MAN to take his own flipping children out?"

Because he's such an absolute star for taking his own children out on his own, that he can't be expected to to do the prep as wellhmm

LazyGaga Sat 14-Sep-13 13:04:37

Well exactly.

There's something off about a man who won't get up and take his children out.

Not something wonderful about one who does.

IMO.

MummyPig24 Sat 14-Sep-13 15:27:46

Sounds like my lie ins. This morning was dhs turn. I fed and dressed the children, fed the cat, folded a load of washing, put a load in the tumble drier, another load in the machine, cleaned the kitchen and made dh breakfast.

Tomorrow is my lie in. This is what will happen:
"What shall I give dcs for breakfast?"
"What shall I dress them in?"
"Do I need to put some washing on?"
"Can the cat go out?"
Plus many more questions. I generally answer "I don't care as long as I'm left alone!"

diddl Sat 14-Sep-13 15:43:04

"Tomorrow is my lie in. This is what will happen:
"What shall I give dcs for breakfast?"
"What shall I dress them in?"
"Do I need to put some washing on?"
"Can the cat go out?""

Hope that you're exaggerating for comedic effect, there mummy

I'm going to go and give DH a big kiss. The other day he was taking DD out, the day before she started preschool. She was dressed in a foul outfit. I said, "interesting choice" and he told me he had chosen it in the absolute knowledge that I wouldn't have chosen it for her first day so he wouldn't be using clothes I would need.

Some men are practical, prepped, do some thinking about their kids' and DW's needs.

ZingWantsCake Sat 14-Sep-13 16:04:20

<sighs >

and if it is not my own family it's the neighbours tv too loud or the postman knocking or the phone ringing or another neighbour cutting the grass.

I can't remember who said "Hell is other people", but was damn right.

we have a lie in each on the weekend. what goes around comes around.

we both get a break grin.

PoppyWearer Sun 15-Sep-13 06:55:22

I'm delurking to add my own experience from just now. It's my turn for a "lie-in" this morning, although we have guests so it will really just be for one (precious) hour.

So far it's gone like this:

6.15am - DC2 climbs on me in bed (not DH, oh no, never DH)
6.20am - I get fed up of DH remaining unconscious and wake him up
6.25am - DC1 wakes up, I go to give her a cuddle and help her go to the toilet, get her into dressing gown, fob off DC2's demands to read him endless stories
6.40am - DH has gone back to sleep, DC2 is demanding breakfast, so I wake up DH again and send him downstairs with DC2
...I then spent the last ten minutes persuading limpet-like DC1 to leave me alone and go downstairs. Which has finally happened.

I have 40 minutes of my precious "lie-in" remaining. DH had a whole hour yesterday. envy

I've been up in the night with DC2 as well.

I am soooooooooo not doing bath time tonight. grin

Sob.

OP posted with a light hearted observation about the prospect of a lie in and an unprepared dh.

Nothing more , so why was the need for a po faced response slating him and other men from some?

Lighten up.

madmomma Sun 15-Sep-13 07:38:46

I bet he didn't even take talc to get the tights back on soggy legs.

madmomma Sun 15-Sep-13 07:40:39

Lea

madmomma Sun 15-Sep-13 07:40:53

I was

Suddengeekgirl Sun 15-Sep-13 07:43:01

See I genuinely don't think most of our DHs are useless BUT I do think that when we get the lie in they end up doing things they aren't as practiced at. Which makes them nervous.

Dh will ask where stuff is - probably because I out it away during the week (SAHM). He also has issues about only seeing the big picture, not the details, when looking at anything.
Dh is slightly flummoxed by girls clothes - having never worn them and having no interest in fashion. He doesn't get it. Boys clothes are fine as he wears the same as ds.
Dh is also colour blind. He gets a bit embarrassed if he choses the wrong colours for himself, and is much worse if he does it for the dc.

So when it's my tur for a lie in about 2/3 of the time I experience the same as OP.
not because dh can't do it, but because he's just not had as much practice because he works as I'm SAHM.
That's the choice we made fr our family and you have to take the ups and downs of that.

I'm struggling to work out just how many places these things can actually be. I mean shampoo is in the bathroom isn't it? Bathrooms that consist of bath shower loo sink and a cupboard. Unless its a hoarder house how on earth is it so hard to find.

And which tights ??? Seriously? Has be never dressed the children or something???

And it's swimming, presumably local??? I don't think anyone's going to drop dead of he forgets a hairbrush. There was actually no need to disturb you at all. That would annoy me.

I'd expect the kids to ask questions, not a grown man who should be able to think for himself. Do you have to remind him to breathe?

trixymalixy Sun 15-Sep-13 07:49:31

My lie ins are always a bit rubbish too, because the kids come to me for a cuddle first usually so I get woken up. DH did try his best yesterday to stop them disturbing me after we had a huge argument about our lie in entitlements the night before.

I did give him instructions and made him get all DDs ballet stuff ready the night before as I knew he would be clueless and have to ask me as Saturday is normally his lie in day and he's never taken DD to ballet before.

trixymalixy Sun 15-Sep-13 07:52:18

poppy that's how my lie ins usually go too. I usually have to kick DH awake and he tries to get a few more minutes sleep by which time I've been jumped on and am pretty much awake. I told DH that it wasn't good enough anymore and if he was going to continue to be so selfish then he'd forfeit his lie ins.

PoppyWearer Sun 15-Sep-13 09:03:57

I take it back, I woke up naturally at 8.30. All is forgiven.

SummerHoliDidi Sun 15-Sep-13 09:15:10

My lie in yesterday was disturbed by 3yo dd2 arriving in my bedroom with a yoghurt for me. She announced that it was my breakfast but I'd have to get up and come downstairs because she couldn't reach the spoons hmm. I'd rather have had some more sleep tbh.

quoteunquote Sun 15-Sep-13 10:52:11

In future, before anyone uses screens (TV/computer) , make them find all items for the following day's activities and make them put them in a bag by the door, or in the car,

make them lay out the clothes they intend to wear, and spares,

When they come in the door, make them unload bags to washing pile, and storage, sort out the next day's stuff, that way they do it, and you are only involved in advance.

Suggest in order to become familiarised with the location of items, they do a complete top to bottom clean of the house, and reorganise all drawers, shelves and cupboards.

Stick to this and never again have other household members try on the, I can't be bothered to try, so intend to make someone else compensate for my pathetic efforts game again.

It makes life really easy.

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