To perform minor surgery on myself?

(163 Posts)
AlannaPartridge Thu 12-Sep-13 21:26:55

Serious question.

I have a sebaceous cyst on my earlobe. It's been there about two years and is the size of a pea. It's not sore or painful, but it's quite obvious & I feel self conscious about it.

I also want to get my ears pierced (finally!) but can't while it's there.

The doctor won't do anything because it's purely cosmetic & causing me no problems at all.

So....I'm thinking.....what if I clean the area really well with antiseptic wipes, sterilise a craft scalpel, make a small cut over the top and squeeze the bugger out (making sure the sack comes too)?

I am a sporner and feel quite excited at the thought of squeezing it out (blush) but obviously don't want to do myself a serious mischief.

What do you think?

IEatDates Thu 12-Sep-13 21:27:55

I would.

Yonihadtoask Thu 12-Sep-13 21:30:09

I would do it too.

candycoatedwaterdrops Thu 12-Sep-13 21:30:14

Only with a photo and/or video.

BigBrassBand Thu 12-Sep-13 21:30:15

You need to video the operation. For research purposes. And post a link here.


Oh yes, I would fo'shure. But you must post photos, tis the way of the Sporners <channels Mr Myagi>

I would. If it goes majorly wrong, you just go to hospital and they have to fix it wink

Twattybollocks Thu 12-Sep-13 21:32:55

It will hurt like a bastard if you use a scalpel. A large bore hypodermic would be better (and more satisfying from a sporn point of view) you do know that if you don't get the sac it will come back though? Is there not a friendly mumsnetter fellow sporner nearby who could video assist you with the surgery?

sameoldIggi Thu 12-Sep-13 21:33:13

I once cut out a wart. It wasn't clever but it worked.
Good luck.

If youre near me, I will gladly come and help!!

WafflyVersatile Thu 12-Sep-13 21:34:11

you could get a horrible infection that kills you.

But you probably won't. Do it.

Or just keep squeezing and picking at it til it goes septic then squeeze it like a spot. Someone I know did this with one on her scalp.

Merlotmonster Thu 12-Sep-13 21:35:04

hell yeah!!! self surgery is the way forward...envy

elcranko Thu 12-Sep-13 21:35:20

I would so do this. Please provide an update as well as photos/video evidence once you've done it grin

Mummybookworm Thu 12-Sep-13 21:36:58


AlannaPartridge Thu 12-Sep-13 21:37:28

Where do I get a hypodermic from, Twatty? That does sound more satisfying. I'd get a long worm, wouldn't I?

Now - the sack. I have deduced from YouTube a medical site that that needs to be removed with tweezers? Sound right?

Yes - promise I will film & post. Unless it looks really disgusting and I'm too embarrassed.

Onesleeptillwembley Thu 12-Sep-13 21:37:37

Oo where are you - I'll do it. I have wine!!

LifeOfPee Thu 12-Sep-13 21:37:37

I'm excited for you at the thought of doing it. Go for it.

What's the worst that can happen? If your ear falls off you've only got one you have to clean, perhaps you'll only pay half price for the piercing and you can take advantage of all the single earrings left at the end of the sales which are no use to people with two ears. Positives all round.

puggle01 Thu 12-Sep-13 21:37:53

Nah! If you don't excise the cyst wall it will just come back and you also need to excise the little opening (called a punctum) to get it all. They often shell out reasonably easily if you have two hands and a nice pair of dissecting scissors and green pyjama things on (ie in a theatre/minor ops suitewink)
Sure its cosmetic but lots of hospitals run a "lumps and bumps" list done under local anaesthetic where loads of these get taken out so try asking a different GP if there's one near you.

If you do squeeze it out be prepared for the contents to absolutely honk by the way. Like rotten cheese mixed with manky feet. wink

Mummybookworm Thu 12-Sep-13 21:38:10

For surgical and videoing purposes you must have good lighting. <hard stare>

Pobblewhohasnotoes Thu 12-Sep-13 21:38:13

I would so do this. But use a needle and sterilise it first.

Crowler Thu 12-Sep-13 21:38:58

I lanced a boil and it was good fun. My kids loved it.

I love the sporners. You make me laugh grin

Mummybookworm Thu 12-Sep-13 21:40:22

And whomsoever is videoing the surgery lucky git should use a tripod or have a very steady hand.

Oh, there's no such thing as too disgusting

zatyaballerina Thu 12-Sep-13 21:41:18

yanbu, I wouldn't be able to resist.

Mumsnut Thu 12-Sep-13 21:42:40

Laugh? LAUGH?

We are in deadly earnest, I'll have you know.

friday16 Thu 12-Sep-13 21:42:48

Of course, the real hard-core do real self-surgery.

mrspremise Thu 12-Sep-13 21:43:04

No! My brother tried to deal with a 'little' sebaceous cyst by himself; he ended up with a huge 'hole' (dent) in his back brought on by secondary infection that he will be living with for the long time (it has got infected several times already) Don't risk it, go and see your GP, please...

Ooh, I know Mumsnut. I know. I saw that six minute blackhead video you all loved so much!

schmalice Thu 12-Sep-13 21:48:07

My DH has a reoccurring one in exactly the same place. He puts Magnesium Sulphate paste on it (about £1 from the chemist) and this draws the stuff out. He tried to get the Dr to deal with it but they refused, even though his get infected!!

AlannaPartridge Thu 12-Sep-13 21:50:12

DS had a boil a week ago - we waited till it had a lovely, big white head then gently pressed the sides and cottage cheese spurted all over me.

Little gift for fellow sporners there wink

I think I'll go for it. I have shown it to both GP & nurse over the past couple of years (when in for other things) and they were both adamant that it was too minor for them to deal with or refer me to anyone else.

But I will get a friend to help - if I can find a willing one!

Ahh but friday, he was a doctor.

This one is better grin

Writerwannabe83 Thu 12-Sep-13 21:50:49

Get those creams you can buy that numb the skin grin

I know they are meant for people having tattoo's but I think minor surgery reasons are just as valid smile

Thatsnotmychicken Thu 12-Sep-13 21:51:33

Eeeww! Just googled images of sebaceous cysts so I knew what you were talking about - may not sleep now!! I say get rid of it but make sure everything is really sterile and clean.

ThreeMyselfAndI Thu 12-Sep-13 21:52:46

my dh has popped 2 out of his head using his tool of choice..... a think picture hanging pin confused

he has also removed a tooth with the same tool.

and whatever it is in his lip that fills with gunk and wierd white stuff every other week as he doesn't want to go to hospital and have it donehmm

all of the above give me the boke as he insists on showing me the outcome.

go for it dh said.

AlannaPartridge Thu 12-Sep-13 21:53:31

What six minute blackhead video????

THIS is wonderful.

WetDog Thu 12-Sep-13 21:53:38

I would. But I removed a cyst from inside my lower eyelid a couple of years ago grin so you could call me a leetle reckless blush

My dad is a bit of a sporner too. He had a seb cyst behind his ear that me, my sis and SM have had great fun squeezing for years.

Out of nowhere (nobody had touched it) a while back it got infected. He had to go to A&E as the swelling made him look like he had a cauliflower ear. He had to practically bribe a dr to excise it as the nurses wouldn't touch it.

I'd give it one shot myself, and then go drs if it doesn't work.

DaleyBump Thu 12-Sep-13 21:53:46

Shamelessly marking place!

MutantAndProud Thu 12-Sep-13 21:53:52

I bloody hope you're joking.

You've got to remove the entire cyst wall otherwise there is no point. And they're not that easy to remove anyway never mind in an awkward position like on your earlobe.

Go and see your GP FFS, most GPs can refer to other local GPs with minor surgery facilities. The practice I work in does this (I'm a GP btw).

eurochick Thu 12-Sep-13 21:54:10

I reckon you will really struggle to get all of the sac. I had one on my face removed by a plastic surgeon and he had a hard job to get it all as it was well anchored.

Link fail


I would.

But then I've cut flat moles off before. I know, stupid blush

McNewPants2013 Fri 13-Sep-13 00:02:06

I enjoyed watching those links, but I wouldn't attempt it myself.

pigsDOfly Fri 13-Sep-13 00:10:42

Just googled this. Had to stop watching a you tube video of someone removing one for a friend. Feel sick now.

Elsiequadrille Fri 13-Sep-13 00:12:42

I wouldn't, but I'm not brave at all.
Good luck!

Am fainting at thought of cutting off flat moles, quirrel!

ATruth - amazing! I love that one

DropYourSword Fri 13-Sep-13 00:30:47

Definitely go with some numbing cream! I think you can get emla over the counter. You can definitely get a form of lidocaine gel over the counter. And go with the scalpel rather than a needle, like others have said you need to remove the sac wall rather than just squirt or all the crap in there. Also get some anti bacterial spray so you keep ending as clean as possible. And make sure the scalpel is properly sterilized!

I can't believe your GP is so rude as to say he's not doing it because it's purely cosmetic. Well yes, but dip what. It's not unreasonable to want it to be removed. Look at the position he's now put you in!

SummerRain Fri 13-Sep-13 00:37:16

I did dps ear cyst and it never came back [professional ear defunkifier qualification]

It's very satisfying but you do have to make sure you get it all, the sack can be tricky and I'd strongly suggest having and extra (non squeamish) pair of hands in case you can't get the right angle yourself.

Monty27 Fri 13-Sep-13 00:40:31

Ice cubes will aneathitise it, one at the front, one at the back. Make sure you have a good mirror and a very very sharp knife, and plenty of tissues.

Hope you're not in a hurry for earrings though grin

KatoPotato Fri 13-Sep-13 00:53:42

A sac? A sac? Is that why my lumps are gifts that keep on giving? I don't think I want mine to go...

Do it, do it!

I started a sporners thread last week and you all ignored me!

JollyHappyGiant Fri 13-Sep-13 02:09:44

<happy sigh>

Can you imagine trying to find a friend to help? What if they weren't a sporner and just thought you were totally mental?

"Hi bestie. Please could you help me squeeze pus from my ear?"

MinnieBar Fri 13-Sep-13 07:09:45

I have about eight cysts on my head if anyone's in the south oxon region?! grin

Only ever got one out as it just started leaking one day - no idea if I got the sac but it was impressively gross.

Can I put magnesium sulphate on the ones on my scalp or will it do weird things to my hair?!

livinginwonderland Fri 13-Sep-13 07:40:44

Oooh, you have to get it!

kelda Fri 13-Sep-13 07:47:03

Agree with the other poster who says it will jsut come back again.

I would get it removed properly by a doctor - although you might have to pay privately.

sashh Fri 13-Sep-13 07:48:13

Don't forget to wipe with an alcohol wipe and let it air dry (three times).

You can get needles and syringes on ebay

or your GP, if he is slightly nuts, knows you are going to do it anyway, and would prefer you to have the right equipment

Do it. I have a little pocket on my ear lobe between my piercings and head that fills every six months or so, its great fun to squeeze grin

TakingThePea Fri 13-Sep-13 07:55:54

Major boak.

Place marking.

schmalice Fri 13-Sep-13 08:22:38

minniebar it smells a bit 'medical' so you might want to stick it on a night so you don't waft round smelling of it. My DH has to put it on for a couple of days. It doesn't get the sac out tho, just the stuff. I have just suggested that he let me have a crack with a sterilized craft knife, I think he may be filing for divorce as we speak.

Boosterseat Fri 13-Sep-13 09:00:17

Please post a video, I'm rubbing my thighs with glee here.

I once had a huge ear boil once, I was absolutely devastated when i put the phone to my ear and it burst. I was saving it sad

DidoTheDodo Fri 13-Sep-13 09:20:19

I think I'd have to do something. I once did a wart on my foot with a Stanley knife and tweezers...

MrsWedgeAntilles Fri 13-Sep-13 09:20:30

I know I'll regret asking this but what's a sporner?

Ezio Fri 13-Sep-13 09:23:47

I'd so do it, i love popping spots, i have one on my boob for like 5 months and the fucker keeps on giving.

Ledkr Fri 13-Sep-13 09:26:43


Thatsnotmychicken Fri 13-Sep-13 09:27:05

Couldn't manage more than 30seconds of either video! Good luck OP

Ezio Fri 13-Sep-13 09:27:18

Anyone got some smelling salts for Ledkr?

lessemin Fri 13-Sep-13 09:29:23


I am trying to eat my porridge.

probablyhadenough Fri 13-Sep-13 09:29:25

Yep as others have said OP, you need to get the entire cyst sac otherwise it will return (and could get infected in the meantime). It is hard enough for a dermatologist to get it all intact - virtually no hope if you do it yourself with random implements!

If you go back to your GP (or see another) you should get a referral I reckon...

My puss wrist was cellulitis and am now on antibipotics - bluugh

TheCraicDealer Fri 13-Sep-13 09:32:00

I think you need to video this so we know you've done it properly.

Latara Fri 13-Sep-13 09:36:58

Suddenly I don't want my breakfast.

EarlyIntheMorning Fri 13-Sep-13 09:38:06

I think you sporners are disgusting
But no one in Mumsnet makes me laugh as much
So I love you grin

FortyFacedFuckers Fri 13-Sep-13 09:43:10

My DH had one on his shoulder and cut it out with nail scissors and my tweezers as a sporner I loved it. Do it!

CeliaLytton Fri 13-Sep-13 09:43:23

There definitely needs to be a special topic for this, not what I need to stumble across in the morning.

Wake me up when it's over.


FortyFacedFuckers Fri 13-Sep-13 09:44:54

Oh yes be prepared for the smell it was a smell I will never forget.

VulvaVoom Fri 13-Sep-13 09:47:23

WTF is a 'sporner'???? Been on here quite a long time but this is all very odd.

<boaks off>

VulvaVoom Fri 13-Sep-13 09:47:28

WTF is a 'sporner'???? Been on here quite a long time but this is all very odd.

<boaks off>

magicstar1 Fri 13-Sep-13 09:55:11

My brother had one just between his eyebrows above his nose. It used to just swell up and start oozing pus which would dribble down at random moments...unfortunately as a barman it didn't look to good to the customers lol. It was a few months until the doctor cut it out. I was itching to have one...weeks of squeezing fun!

Saffyz Fri 13-Sep-13 09:55:56

Save up for a private GP appointment if you can?

sporn = pus porn

Sinful1 Fri 13-Sep-13 10:37:27

Are these full of fluid or solid? Trip to the needle bank to get some free needles to suck it out

DamnBamboo Fri 13-Sep-13 10:43:41

You are all disgusting!

<use a needle OP, not a scalpel! and you do know it will come back don't you?>

MrsWedgeAntilles Fri 13-Sep-13 11:04:07

Its World Sepsis day, please don't give yourself blood poisoning today.

If you really have to cut it out yourself do it at the back so that any scars are hidden and make sure you know the symptoms of infection and sepsis so you can get help if you need it.

MrsWedgeAntilles Fri 13-Sep-13 11:05:20

Pus porn, who'd a thought it.

GobTheGoblin Fri 13-Sep-13 11:12:36
tshirtsuntan Fri 13-Sep-13 11:13:48

I did one myself, on my inner thigh, could NOT get the bloody sack out though and then it kept going septic ( very satisfying popping a septic one though- RIVERS of ooze!) Had to have sac removed with a local, docs will do it if it keeps going bad... good luck!

Liskey Fri 13-Sep-13 11:33:15

threemyselfandI your DH's lump in his mouth - I had one and it was an infection - I ended up with a root canal as a result. He needs to go to the dentist for that.

plummyjam Fri 13-Sep-13 11:47:13

Seriously don't do it. If you suck the fluid out with a needle it will come back. Removing the sac can be difficult even if you're not operating on your own head. If you don't have a proper local anaesthetic it will hurt like fuck and you'll probably get an infection.

The ear is also a prime place for keloid scars so if you're unfortunate to get one on the site of a raggedy cut made with a craft knife then you will quite literally have made a pig's ear of it.

GobTheGoblin Fri 13-Sep-13 11:49:02
fluffyraggies Fri 13-Sep-13 12:07:03

OP my daughter has a small pea sized one on her knee. It hurts her if she bumps it. Her GP is happy to remove it for her. Maybe try again and tell them it's giving you pain.

DH had an horendous boil on his back a couple of years ago. I will never forget the joy of the 3 evening squeeze fest to get rid of that beauty grin Copious amounts of kitchen roll and allot of very loud eeeeeeeews from the DCs. Sadly it never returned.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Fri 13-Sep-13 13:12:00

Tmi alert!

A while back, I had a small white lump on my gentleman's area. Quack of a GP said it was spermatocele, which is a sort of rudimentary extra nad. Go me, eh?

That was two years ago, and it grew very very slowly. Last Monday, after a long and chafing bike ride, it got painful. At 4 am, it woke me up. 7mm across, proud and pointy it was. Stuck in a pin.


DW is a bit cross at missing out, but there are limits to my bravery.

cjbk1 Fri 13-Sep-13 13:18:42

Now I'm a registered dental nurse and we all go rushing in to "look at all that pus" (with patient's consent of course) but I'm literally having to bite my cardi sleeve to stop myself heaving at this thread....not sure I'm going to be able to force down a slice of dd2's birthday cake now wink a

cjbk1 Fri 13-Sep-13 13:19:11

*no idea where that 'a' came from

Yonihadtoask Fri 13-Sep-13 13:23:01

OMG. I hope no one checks my internet history.

OP - any equipment ready yet????

AnyoneforTurps Fri 13-Sep-13 13:25:27

1) it will bleed like buggery because ears have a fantastic blood supply

2) if it gets infected, no one will ever be able to remove it properly - after seb cysts have been infected, you can't just shell them out

3) Even a minor ops referral costs the NHS at least £60 (if done by a GP) and £200 if done in hospital. The NHS has enough problems without shelling out to shell out everybody's cysts.

4) Even if you do manage to remove it yourself, you will be left with a scar that may well be more unsightly than a cyst.

Leave it alone. And I say this as someone who once drained her own dental abscess with a Swiss army knife smile. If you really can't live with it, ask for a private referral.

SugarHut Fri 13-Sep-13 13:26:52

OP. Are you mental.

All the "ooh squeeze it, film it" fetish and fun aside, you will probably not do too much damage to yourself. But you won't get rid of it either. You'll make it temporarily smaller, and bloody sore.

And the risk of septicaemia is huge. Which is the obvious big no no.

Just don't. You just need a less jobsworth doctor, tell him it's started causing you a lot of discomfort. They'll take it off no problem.

cjbk1 Fri 13-Sep-13 13:28:20

don't make me start on the dental advice turps wink

MmmmWhiteWine Fri 13-Sep-13 13:29:10

If you do it yourself try to ease the sack out with the contents intact otherwise it will STINK to high not burst that sack!!!

Edendance Fri 13-Sep-13 13:29:58

Do it! I cut off a wort on my foot once too- hurt like a mo fo but worked a charm! It was like a little iceberg underneath!

Tiredmumno1 Fri 13-Sep-13 13:32:33

Pass me a bucket please.

Why oh why did I read this

I'm not sure you would be wise to pierce and earlobe that had a large cyst in it, even once it is healed it would still be somewhat 'hollow ' and not good tissue to pierce.

That is once cyst had been removed

Fakebook Fri 13-Sep-13 13:52:13

Eurgh. This thread should have a warning on the title. I was just sick in my mouth. Disgusting.

Cheesy123 Fri 13-Sep-13 13:52:52

I feel a little faint, you lot are gross!

AnyoneforTurps Fri 13-Sep-13 13:56:43

You just need a less jobsworth doctor

The GP is not being a jobsworth; the GP is giving you good advice. As plummy said, ear lobes are prone to severe scarring - see here for some examples (not for the squeamish). I love removing lumps and bumps but there is no way I would touch this.

I'm also hmm at all the people who don't seem to give a toss about the cost to the NHS. £60 (the minimum cost of removal) is the same amount that a GP gets for giving an entire year's worth of care including the average 5.5 consultations per year and all admin costs. If everyone has small cosmetic lumps & bumps removed, the NHS will be bankrupt. It's depressing that some posters apparently think it's OK to lie about your symptoms in order to get treatment. If everyone behaves like this, the NHS will collapse.

WhitesandsofLuskentyre Fri 13-Sep-13 14:06:06

My XH had what the doctor said was a cyst on his shoulder and the doctor said it wasn't worth cutting out/draining. It was just a lump for ages, but one day it had gone a bit red and was uncomfortable, so XH told me to squeeze it. In our defence, it did look more like an angry zit than a cyst by that stage.

Well, I kid you not, one squeeze and the contents hit the bathroom ceiling. Best ever, never-to-be-repeated (not just because I divorced him - this predated the divorce by about 15 years!).

PedantMarina Fri 13-Sep-13 14:40:33

All the posters going on about growing and re-growing the pus sources makes me ponder:

How many calories can one use up growing pus? Perhaps it should be part of a new diet regime quite aside from all the loss of appetite hhere.

Just pondering...

shouldistayorshouldagonooooooo Fri 13-Sep-13 14:44:00

grin only on MN is there such eclectic posts !!

MadameLeBean Fri 13-Sep-13 14:49:24

This is gross but I can't stop reading

Have you done it OP?

Snoot Fri 13-Sep-13 14:57:44

Don't do it! I home surgeried (sterilised pin!) what I thought was a persistent spot on my leg, I've got keloid scarring which will never go. I've not had keloid scarring before or since, I'm not from a likely ethnic group, no way of knowing it would happen.

Having said that, I successfully treated a ganglion cyst (bible bump) which the GP wouldn't touch by hitting it repeatedly with a remote control grin. Took weeks for the thick puss to dissipate under the skin, travelling down my hand grin

SybilRamkin Fri 13-Sep-13 15:23:29

Do it, do it! <chants>

In the meantime, for the rest of you disgusting creatures sporners, watch this:

StHelenInPerson Fri 13-Sep-13 15:28:44

This thread reminds me of a time my ex had a cyst on the back of his earlobe and was apparently very sore.
I promptly smacked it til it burst while I was sleeping smile so I missed the puss bit.
Watched the link early in the thread I was both interested and horrified by the amount of cheese that came out of his ear.

Gobbolinothewitchscat Fri 13-Sep-13 15:29:56

Fuck's sake - why was there no klaxon in the title and I've missed this? <glares angrily >

Ignore all the boring sensiblebastards on here and just do it!

I don't know why the NHS is boring on about the cost if cyst removal. I would gladly do that job for free. I could be covered by fellow sporners when I go on my hols. There's an untapped market there, I tell you. I feel it would be doing a noble duty - as per David Cameron's Big Society

PedantMarina Fri 13-Sep-13 15:34:51

There's got to be a fetish club in soho where people would pay YOU to have the privilege of doing it. Have you looked into this?

Snoot Fri 13-Sep-13 15:52:43

Keloid scars. Just sayin'!

Boosterseat Fri 13-Sep-13 16:30:57

envy of these returning puss pods.

Seriously jealous of the poster who got one to hit the roof - so unfair.

Alohomora Fri 13-Sep-13 16:36:48

Ooooh, I'd do it! OH had something under his skin that'd been there for 20 years, it was the most satisfying thing to squeeze out ever, sack and all!

AlannaPartridge Fri 13-Sep-13 16:54:24

Ha ha!

So nice to hear from people as peculiar as me!

Surely the risk of septicemia is not "huge"? I mean, I realise there is a risk, but it's unlikely I'd have thought. Much more likely is that it'll come back and/or that I'll end up with a scar.

I am taking notice of the warnings, though, promise.

Jessicarthorse Fri 13-Sep-13 17:00:23

Well my GP is positively trigger happy when it comes to slicing random lumps off me - warts, skin tags, cysts, you name it. I reckon he must be a secret sporner. Never once had a lecture about the £60 cost hmm (But then, I've had no children so reckon I'm a net contributor to the NHS)

PedantMarina Fri 13-Sep-13 17:20:23

The most satisfying thing I did was such a small thing, compared to some fo your exploits! I dug a blackhead out of [now]exDH's back. This was a long-term thing - we'd kept popping it and it kept coming back; it had burrowed well into the skin. We finally got a really good strong light, a couple of sterilised needles, some needle-nose tweezers, and I had a great dig. Got it up by the roots and it never came back.

I always wondered what happened to the hole that was left behind. Did the skin grow back and compensate, or what?... Not that I'm ever going to get in touch and ask him now, natch.

Jbck Fri 13-Sep-13 17:21:46

How do you know if you have got the sac?

Alohomora Fri 13-Sep-13 17:45:11

Jbck In my experience you can definitely see it, it's this weird, velvety purplish thing.

candycoatedwaterdrops Fri 13-Sep-13 18:06:20

This video is fucking amazing:


MrsOakenshield Fri 13-Sep-13 18:09:18

sorry if this has been asked (I've only read page 1) but what's a sporner - from reading just page 1 I feel I may be one, which is exciting - a new club!

AlannaPartridge Fri 13-Sep-13 18:13:30

MrsO It's weirdos people who are fascinated with pus & pimples and love squeezing gunk out of their body. Or their loved ones bodies!

Teenage DS is going to let me have a go at his blackheads this weekend as the Clearasil hasn't worked. Joy!

fenellafudgetunnel Fri 13-Sep-13 18:14:34

I had one in my ear earlier in the year and was conscious it was growing and sore. I obviously prodded it a bit to see what was going on but it was just sore and hard until I sneezed and about a teaspoon full of goo came out and splatted down my face. Ewwww. Has gone now though (I quite miss it now it's gone).

OP either leave it alone or wait till it's a sufficient size to paint a face on it and call it Susan. Then you can register it as a new patient at the practice and get it dealt with.

Alohomora Fri 13-Sep-13 18:16:00

I was so excited to find there is a name for such people as myself, I emailed hubby (who thinks it's sick and is also quite a baby about it) to tell him I'm a sporner.

Only he got the wrong end of the stick, thought it had to do with spores and wrote back: "That means you're pregnant, right?"

Oh dear... I had to set him straight, he wasn't amused.

AlannaPartridge Fri 13-Sep-13 18:16:25

Fenella grin

MrsOakenshield Fri 13-Sep-13 18:46:45

oh, I'm definitely one, I almost like getting an ingrown hair on the rare occasions I get a bikini wax just for the pleasure of squeezing it out. And I love grooming DH.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Fri 13-Sep-13 19:00:59

grin at fenella and the Susan-ectomy.

marking place

TSSDNCOP Fri 13-Sep-13 20:15:17

The ear blackheads were ossum.

Come on OP. pull your fucking finger out grin

Ezio Fri 13-Sep-13 20:29:05

I get ear spots from earphone use, i get a sick pleasure at hearing them pop.

I blame my mother and her loving of squeezing shit.

MutantAndProud Fri 13-Sep-13 21:20:55

Anyoneforturps thank you for your sensible and correct post.

The GP isn't being a jobs worth, or rude or a quack. He's doing his job.

The NHS as we all know does not infinite resources. Therefore certain procedures are classed as 'procedures of low clinical priority' ie: cosmetic procedures that are not affecting patient physical and/or psychological health. Removing a cyst from an ear is miles different than removing one from a thigh etc. like someone above mentioned, keloid scars are an issue etc.

Removing a cyst just because you want an earring is a waste of NHS money. Fixing the botch job you may potentially make of it is also a waste of NHS money. People get infections from clinical procedures done in clinics/hospital so of course the risk of infection for an untrained layperson with a 'sterilised' craft knife is higher!

Use some common sense. Please. Enquire with your GP if they have access to minor surgery for crying out loud!!!!!

And this is from a GP Sporner.

guiltyconscience Fri 13-Sep-13 21:24:17

I pick and pick the skin tags on my neck and they come off very readily. Think you could have a fine old time with the seb cyst corr my mouth is watering at the very thought !lol

AlannaPartridge Fri 13-Sep-13 21:27:16

Use some common sense. Please. Enquire with your GP if they have access to minor surgery for crying out loud!!!!!

I hear you! Honestly! Your post it why I haven't been boiling up needles & scalpels today!!

But you've missed the part where I said that I have asked the GP AND the practice nurse - and it was a "definitely not" both times. Presumably because they agree that it's a waste of funds for something that's cosmetic. And I get that. I don't actually want to go to another surgery 'cos I like this one!

Do you quite like popping boils & stuff then, Mutant? Bet you've seen some amazing ones smile

MutantAndProud Fri 13-Sep-13 21:32:23

Oh I absolutely adore minor surgery. Nothing more satisfying! My favourite thing is to incise and drain an abcess and also putting stitches in makes me happy too. I'm very weird!

That sucks that there isn't any other minor surgery facilities available. I've worked in practices before where they haven't got it available but they've always referred to other local surgeries who provide it for the region.

Sorry if I seemed all het up, it's been a longggg day xxx

Panzee Fri 13-Sep-13 21:38:12

Why did I not see this thread till now?

I have rotten dyshidrosis eczema at the moment. It itches, it hurts, it flakes.

However it also has easily-poppable blisters. That bit is ace. grin

FreudiansSlipper Fri 13-Sep-13 21:42:41

i really think you need some sort of professional to do this for you

you are in luck am that very person i used to be a professional pimple popper grin

and i am happy to be filmed and shall not charge

PedantMarina Fri 13-Sep-13 21:46:04

Ahhh, Alanna, you have a good son, you do.

Clearly the solution to your own problem is to get together with mutantandproud for some mutual satisfaction (and get it on tape for the rest of us).

AlannaPartridge Fri 13-Sep-13 21:51:20

He's my plan for now - going in to see our exceptionally lovely practice nurse with DS about something else on Tuesday, so I shall raise the matter with her again then. If it's still a definite no, then I'm taking out bugger - pics, vids and everything!

(Sorry, Mutant. Don't be toooooooooo cross).

I've seen all these links, apart from the OP's. blush

If you really want it done by a pro, and the docs here don't want to help otr, how about asking a vet? wink

samlamb Fri 13-Sep-13 22:34:18
AlannaPartridge Fri 13-Sep-13 22:45:34




That is the worst I have ever seen shock

AmberLeaf Fri 13-Sep-13 22:55:04

Don't do it seriously.

I am a sporner, but if you get a staph infection [quite possible] you will regret it.

Ezio Fri 13-Sep-13 23:17:25

Sam, thats so vile, but i cant stop watching.

Ezio Fri 13-Sep-13 23:19:58

That must have been so painful.

Coconutty Fri 13-Sep-13 23:27:40

Do it, do it, do it.

We want to watch.

Footface Fri 13-Sep-13 23:59:45

Sam, it's like a puss udder

ChubbyKitty Sat 14-Sep-13 01:49:29

Casual place marking.

Also I just accidentally on purpose popped one of those ingrown hair spots.

No pictures. It was way too close to my fanjo for that haha. There is one on the other side(confused) came up about a day after this one so maybe tomorrow night I can do it all again!

Hopefully that can tide everyone over until OP does her ear?wink

DaleyBump Sat 14-Sep-13 01:57:21

Ooooh, DP is sleeping and I've just spotted a great big pussy spot on his back. Result.

Sinful1 Sat 14-Sep-13 05:06:02

damnit my girlfriend refuses to pop any spots on my back sad so they grow big and i can see them in the mirror all juicy and tempting but i just cant reach them sad

Pinkbutterfly31 Sat 14-Sep-13 07:28:43

I knew I wasn't the only one with this fetish :D

When I first met my DP he was really shy about his body due to bad acne. I caught a glimpse of it one day and was like "erm...would it be weird if we went into the bedroom and I squeezed the FUCK out of you". Cue an hour of pure blackhead and angry spot squeezing joy! He thinks I'm weird but it has made him completely relax around me (well, unless he sees the 'glint' in my eye, then he knows he's in for a damn good grooming session mwahahaha).

Do it OP, I wouldn't be able to resist.

RobinSparkles Sat 14-Sep-13 07:36:50

Has OP done it yet?

TBH, I think I would just tell the GP that it's hurting, then they'll remove it.

My friend had lumps on her back left from an insect bite. She went to the GP for them to be removed. The GP said she wouldn't remove them as they were just cosmetic and not doing any harm. Friend told GP that they hurt her (they didn't) so GP removed them.

Ezio Sat 14-Sep-13 08:18:55

Sinful, come over and let me do em.

Alohomora Sat 14-Sep-13 09:56:02

Sam OOoh, I just watched that and husband will now have to forgo food for the rest of the day, he is so freaked out and disgusted. OMG! Mind you, the people retching in the background have now put me off my food...

MrsMinkBernardLundy Sat 14-Sep-13 10:49:40

Marks place

colourmehappytheresasofainhere Sun 15-Sep-13 08:04:49

Wow. Grossed out and inspired all at once! Good luck Op with this. I have a sebaceous cyst on m jaw line which I hate. Dying to get rid of it and was about to pay private. Too squeamish to look at YouTube videos to guide me. So I just get myself Some anaesthetic cream, a scalpel and a mirror and tcp and let battle commence is that right?! and I have to get the whole sac out? Any other tips?

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Sun 15-Sep-13 10:19:11

colour: DON'T!!

Seriously, there are some fairly important arteries around the jawline; my Dad was a dentist and he referred to that part of the face as " tiger country".

colourmehappytheresasofainhere Sun 15-Sep-13 11:55:27

Disgrace, thanks for the heads up on that, now I think about it it is very close to a major artery!

GillyBillyWilly Sun 15-Sep-13 12:32:23

Marking place grin

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