To be furious that DH wants to give up work?

(76 Posts)
KittyKatkatKat Thu 12-Sep-13 18:25:34

Well am I? DH and I aren't short of a bob or two but FGS, he's just announced that he's giving up his job!
I'm pulling my hair out here. I've got such a nice lifestyle as a SAHM to my baby boy, have lots of friends and a Mum and sister who visit often. Actually, they practically live with me whilst hubby is away with work.
He's now giving up so that he can spend more time at home and I don't know what to say. His family are overbearing and he's going to be kicking around the house all day. AIBU? I'm in a real tizz about this sad

catgirl1976 Thu 12-Sep-13 18:27:42

It's a big step to take without discussing it with you first but you don't seem to want to spend much time with him or give up your "lifestyle"

If you SAH and are financially ok, why should he not SAH too?

CMOTDibbler Thu 12-Sep-13 18:28:49

Well, you can get a job and he'll have a nice lifestyle as a SAHD. Sounds good to me

Sleepyhead33 Thu 12-Sep-13 18:29:04


ItsaTIARA Thu 12-Sep-13 18:29:32

I think you need to find him a nice little part time role that involves lots of overseas travel OP. Then you'll get lots of Me Time, but be able to offload LO when he comes back home. Something in the voluntary sector perhaps. Win win.

Sleepyhead33 Thu 12-Sep-13 18:30:07

Ha ha- just got it!

GingerBeerAndTinnedPeaches Thu 12-Sep-13 18:30:13

grin Well you have plenty of room - you'll be able to run around your new home for weeks without running into each other.

MadBusLady Thu 12-Sep-13 18:30:29

Welcome to Mumsnet, OP.

Is it temporary? Does this mean you have to get a job?

He absolutely should have discussed it with you first but you said it yourself, you have a really nice lifestyle, is it so strange he wants to enjoy the same thing?

KittyKatkatKat Thu 12-Sep-13 18:30:36

We're moving house soon cat lucky to be mortgage free and I have so much to do without having him loll oping about the place.
His family are too much and having him home gives them an open invitation to visit whenever they like. I'm v annoyed sad

ItsaTIARA Thu 12-Sep-13 18:30:49

And presumably he'll be returning to a full time job eventually - maybe in forty years or so.

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops Thu 12-Sep-13 18:31:00

Haha...hopefully he'll take-up a consuming hobby or train for something seriously sporty!

Wait, I can't tell if I should be taking this seriously or not <sleep deprived>

OnTheBottomWithAWomensWeekly Thu 12-Sep-13 18:31:53

Riiiight, so who is going to pay all the bills then?

catgirl1976 Thu 12-Sep-13 18:31:54

Oooohhhhhh - I've just got it too grin

Very good!

Morgause Thu 12-Sep-13 18:32:35

But your family have been hanging out there - it's his family's turn. grin

KittyKatkatKat Thu 12-Sep-13 18:32:44

Itsa Hubby likes Kenya. I'm going to suggest a Safari ASAP. I think a bit of voluntary work wouldn't go amiss either angry

GobblersKnob Thu 12-Sep-13 18:33:35



BumbleChum Thu 12-Sep-13 18:33:48

Ha ha very good. I think you need to get rid of the nanny (you know the one you told everyone you weren't going to have before DS was born) and get DH to do the night shift with the baby.

Osmiornica Thu 12-Sep-13 18:34:09

Doh! Just got it grin

Bowlersarm Thu 12-Sep-13 18:34:18

Well at last, I have got it too!

Took a while...

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops Thu 12-Sep-13 18:34:19

Penny drops...I think, although I don't watch it, so could be wrong...

catgirl1976 Thu 12-Sep-13 18:34:34


We are going to be picking up the bills for the OP and her DH ;)

Does he have any plans for the future? If he's going to take on a big role in about hmm thirty years time maybe it's a good idea to take a step back now?

FastWindow Thu 12-Sep-13 18:34:52

Excellent. Bet you feel somewhat overshadowed by your late mil, too. Rip etc, obv.

Norfolknway Thu 12-Sep-13 18:34:53

Hehe grin

TheVermiciousKnid Thu 12-Sep-13 18:36:20

You sound very entitled, OP. I bet you expect him to treat you like a princess. hmm

diddl Thu 12-Sep-13 18:36:20

"without having him loll oping about the place."

Don't you mean "about the palace(s)?"

Well at least you can still be a SAHM, & I'm sure Granny will find him something to do!

diddl Thu 12-Sep-13 18:36:26

"without having him loll oping about the place."

Don't you mean "about the palace(s)?"

Well at least you can still be a SAHM, & I'm sure Granny will find him something to do!

Bowlersarm Thu 12-Sep-13 18:36:28

I think a lesser known fact is that your DH has in effect been made redundant? Hasn't his unit been disbanded?

NonnoMum Thu 12-Sep-13 18:36:33

Who's going to pay all the bills? Well, the tax payer of course!

And what did you do before you were a SAHM? I believe you were a NEET, were you not, pretty lady?

diddl Thu 12-Sep-13 18:36:45



Dubjackeen Thu 12-Sep-13 18:37:33

The house is big though, OP, so there should be plenty of room for all of you. grin

KittyKatkatKat Thu 12-Sep-13 18:37:38

bumble we can't get rid of the nanny <gasps>
I'm really really busy, my days are chockablock.
It's going to be dreadful.

d'oh! blush

As long as he is not living off the state I don't think there's anything anyone can object to.

Oh wait.

MammaTJ Thu 12-Sep-13 18:38:08

Could you find a part time role yourself, something like 'gaining world wide adoration'? That should keep you busy enough for him not to get under your feet.

Mehrida Thu 12-Sep-13 18:38:18

Encourage him to do something with the skills he's learned through work. So send him up a mountain or maybe he could take himself off to the shed to build airfix.

Get the GPs to look after DS.

Then invite bil round for some fun when the house is empty.

Swap him for his hot brother. He's got a proper job too.

Blissx Thu 12-Sep-13 18:38:55

I get it! Took me a while though!

LookingForwardToSalmon Thu 12-Sep-13 18:38:56


Time to swap. Get your ass out to work so your hubby can have a nice lifestyle as a sahd and make lots of dad friends he can chill with.

Fairs fair

(Me and DH are taking it in turns grin)

Pollydon Thu 12-Sep-13 18:39:50

Plenty of time for him to walk the dog now. And play a bit of polo, perhaps ?

LookingForwardToSalmon Thu 12-Sep-13 18:39:55


I am so slow today grin

(waves at the royal bastards)

A friends dh did this and just ended up smoking weed with all his mates round all day! Is this what your dh is planning do you think op?

I would be annoyed too.


motherinferior Thu 12-Sep-13 18:41:41

Won't you be having more babies soon, though?

KittyKatkatKat Thu 12-Sep-13 18:42:07

bowler DH said that at first, he knew I'd go mad if he 'just gave it up' but the truth is, he could have any job there he likes. I think he's just jealous that whilst he is away with work, I'm at home with DS.

KittyKatkatKat Thu 12-Sep-13 18:43:40

merida BIL visits often already whilst hubby is away wink

YoureBeingADick Thu 12-Sep-13 18:44:29


very good OP.

CoolStoryBro Thu 12-Sep-13 18:54:50

You know,OP, I was at the Job Centre the other day and I saw an advert you would be perfect for. It was called "The People's Princess" aka The Queen of Hearts. If I were you, if get my lippie on and go and apply.

It's just nice to get out the house, you know?!

ToffeeCaramel Thu 12-Sep-13 19:03:54

It sounds like you have got yourself in a right royal pickle about this.

Squitten Thu 12-Sep-13 19:09:45

Can't you get him a nice shed built or something so he can have some "man space" and take up a hobby? Maybe something along the lines of Kensington Palace..?

marriedinwhiteisback Thu 12-Sep-13 19:12:25

Is that you hullygully

KittyKatkatKat Thu 12-Sep-13 19:20:23

MIWhite Nope! grin

FastWindow Thu 12-Sep-13 19:37:25

honeydragon are you Clark Kent? Suspiciously not in the room...?

dabump Thu 12-Sep-13 19:41:13


KittyKatkatKat Thu 12-Sep-13 19:45:22

Fast Honeydragon? Nope

Oblomov Thu 12-Sep-13 19:46:48

This is a bit weak. Couldn't you have done a bit better?

KittyKatkatKat Thu 12-Sep-13 19:48:50

grin oblomov Sorry about that grin

Chippednailvarnish Thu 12-Sep-13 19:54:08

I had your DH spend a week where I used to work, when he was a student doing work experience.
He must be really charismatic or something, because he was the only student to get a table to himself and the chief exec each lunchtime on his own in the canteen. He didn't have to queue either (or pay).

SunshineMMum Thu 12-Sep-13 19:55:53

grin it took me a while!

TheVermiciousKnid Thu 12-Sep-13 19:57:38

I bet you have some interesting MIL threads... grin

KittyKatkatKat Thu 12-Sep-13 20:00:11

chipped why do you think I married him wink !

KittyKatkatKat Thu 12-Sep-13 20:01:02

Thevermicious grin

Inertia Thu 12-Sep-13 20:05:54

To be honest I know what in - laws like this are like - they'll have him running about here there and everywhere on Family Business, and he'll trot out some line about his duties when he is never around to change a nappy.

Bet the ILs have already been meddling with the decor in your new house too - mark my words, it it'll be filled with thrones and diamondy shit.

Chippednailvarnish Thu 12-Sep-13 20:10:44

Because he didn't used to look like his Dad!?!

Altinkum Thu 12-Sep-13 20:12:57

I think you all sound like a bunch of dicks!!!

KittyKatkatKat Thu 12-Sep-13 20:15:24

Inertia you are so right. Hubby's late great Aunt used to own our new house and the battles I've had with the ILaws to make it my own. It was full of sentimental rubbish and 1970s bling for me.

KittyKatkatKat Thu 12-Sep-13 20:17:49

Altinkum That's a bit unhelpful. [sad face]

Mehrida Thu 12-Sep-13 23:02:51

Ooh have always wanted to say this:

You all sound very entitled.

happygirl87 Thu 12-Sep-13 23:07:10

Are you also worried about his bald spot?!

Seriously, I think if you get on well with your MIL you should leave DH at home with PFB (Prince First Born grin) and devote your time to writing a book dedicated to your mumsnet fans: How I Deal with the Queen of MILs. It will be a best seller.

JosiePosiePuddingAndPie Thu 12-Sep-13 23:14:14

You need to get him into golf, seriously you'll never see him again! Does his gran have a course somewhere?

SecretLimonadeDrinker Thu 12-Sep-13 23:17:58

Ha ha, penny dropped eventually!

bearleftmonkeyright Thu 12-Sep-13 23:40:57

Some people expect to be treated like royalty hmm

Mimishimi Fri 13-Sep-13 06:37:10

My DH just did this as well. We paid off the mortgage a couple of years ago, DD is in a good school for the next six years and DH was getting increasingly frustrated by the increasing importance of the 'old boy' culture in his company. It wasn't always like that but once they started moving in and up the ranks in larger numbers it became more so. Their discretionary approach to his bonus the last couple of years when he made them millions in profit, not just revenue, really riled him. The bonus was okay but DH wanted it in writing like the head honchos, who incidentally made far less although some years it is more, have it. They were mucking him about with writing up his new contract thinking that he would be on tenterhooks about his job and consent to less than agreeable terms. He has had some offers from competing firms or he's thinking about teaming up with a former colleague and doing the same and we decided it's a good time in his life to take some risks.

I think you should be more supportive of your DH. If he's miserable, it's not worth it.

Mimishimi Fri 13-Sep-13 06:38:48

Ahhh... took me a while and reading this thread to get what this was all about blush

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