To just go out and not be in

(152 Posts)
LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 10:23:37

I'm due to have my second baby next Tuesday. I have cracking SPD and haven't had more than 4 hours sleep a night for the last 2 weeks.
My GPIL have invited themselves (via a message left on our answering machine yesterday) to come and stay with us this weekend. Not with any altruistic intentions of helping out. No, it's because they will be driving home from holiday tomorrow and want to use our house as an overnight hotel rest stop.

It wouldn't be too bad except that they are very high maintenance and will expect a full bed and breakfast experience plus a naice trip to somewhere suitable on Saturday followed by a full lunch out and about in a naice tea room sort of place.

I really wanted DH, DS and I to just have a lovely family weekend as it's possibly the last one we will have with just DS.

The mobile number we have for them isn't working. Just beeps and cuts out. Have even double checked it with PIL. DH has sent the number a text saying to call him urgently.

WIBU to just go out to my mums for the whole of tomorrow so I am not at home when they try to just show up at some point in the afternoon? I'm a soft touch and will end up just letting them in if I'm here. They will be coming past about 1pm and DH won't get home from work til 6pm.

MisselthwaiteManor Thu 12-Sep-13 10:26:00

I would, if they haven't had actual confirmation from you or DH that they can stay then it's their problem, let them find a hotel.

DeepPurple Thu 12-Sep-13 10:26:07

If they don't know you have received the message then just go out. Pretend like you didn't know they were coming grin

Tee2072 Thu 12-Sep-13 10:27:09

I would. Just don't be there.

Or be there, let them in and tell them you're going for a rest, dinner at 6 would be lovely.

But I'm evil to people who abuse my hospitality, even if I am related to them.

BlackeyedSusan Thu 12-Sep-13 10:31:30

go out.

i m in a pissed off mood though so not the best person to tke advice from today.

CookieLady Thu 12-Sep-13 10:33:14

Go out.

MisselthwaiteManor Thu 12-Sep-13 10:34:25

Will DH let them in if they try again after 6?

Goodness no, not unreasonable in the slightest.

What you could do is stick an envelope to your front door saying "for the attention of PIL" and inside the envelope have a note saying how awfully sorry you are to have missed them but at the short notice you realised that neither of you would be in. You did try desperately to contact them on the number they left on the answering machine but to no avail and you've listed the numbers of some lovely local hotels/B&B and that you would recommend instead. <insert evil grin here>

Best of luck to you

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 10:36:14

They are not even driving that far! Devon to Berkshire. We live off the A303 in Wiltshire so are annoyingly ideally placed for a pop in.

Tee - I quite like that idea! "Hi GPIL. Thanks so much for doing this. Here's DS, he has his dinner at 5, DH and I would like dinner at 6, see you later!"

Problem about pretending we didn't receive it is that DH sent that text. We don't know if it's the wrong number, turned off or out of signal. I tried 1471ing but it wasn't the last number to have tried us.

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 10:38:50

Marmalade - no, he's more hacked off about it than me!

Ideally they try to call again today so I can tell them no, otherwise, knowing them, they will go book in somewhere and still show up at the crack of a sparrows fart on Saturday with a "surprise! Now entertain us all day" attitude.

LilRedWG Thu 12-Sep-13 10:40:11

Well, DH has tried to get them to call him urgently so that he can let them know that no-one will be in wink . Not your fault that they've not got back to you.

mirry2 Thu 12-Sep-13 10:42:14

gone into labour sooner than expected ? False alarm?

PrimalLass Thu 12-Sep-13 10:43:10

Yes do. Get your DH to text again and say it's not suitable because you won't be there (make up some reason).

yoshipoppet Thu 12-Sep-13 10:51:01

If they are in Devon they will probably have no signal on their phone. I live in Devon; if I want to use a mobile I have to go half a mile down the road and stand in the middle of a field.

OP I'd go out if I were you. Or hide and pretend to be out.

SPBisResisting Thu 12-Sep-13 10:52:40


MrsWembley Thu 12-Sep-13 10:53:07

<jumps on board at the sniff of a thread that will run and run>

Go out, don't come back til you absolutely have to and, if you do manage to speak to them, explain that you are exhausted and having someone pamper you for a couple of days (your DM?) before the sky falls in.grin Tell them it was arranged before you heard their message.

If they give you any shock or hmm, smile and nod and repeat the word 'exhausted' ad nauseam.

Glad to hear DH is on your side and good luck, with GPiLs and the impending

Another one who says go out.

How rude just to expect you to put them up! You've tried to call and tell them it's not a good time, so they will have to lump it.

Go out, come back after DH, and if they do happen to turn up at any point, explain to them again that it is not a good time, and then just get on with your day.

I personally don't mind when people just pop round, but if you do that, you do it fully in the knowledge that it might not be a good time, and you can't expect people to change all their plans for you.

I do have a sneaky suspicion this will be large thread!

PurplePidjin Thu 12-Sep-13 10:58:59

Yanbu, uninvited guests are a pita at the best of times, and 37+ weeks pg is definitely not the best of times!

MintyChops Thu 12-Sep-13 11:05:48

Another in the "go out" camp but I would try calling/ texting again to say sorry but this weekend doesn't suit us, we will be out then I need to rest as exhausted with imminent arrival. Perhaps they have got their dates a bit confused and don't realise how close you are to the birth? <charitable emoticon>

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 11:13:27

Oooh crikey, loads of comments!

I was debating having a bit of a jump on the toddler's trampoline this afternoon, that would be a proper legitimate excuse!

Well I'm glad the consensus is that I'm not being unreasonable! smile

ZingWantsCake Thu 12-Sep-13 11:15:45

Go the fuck out!
Do not cater for their selfish, inconsiderate needs!

in fact pm me your address and I'll go there and when they turn up I'll give them a lecture.

How's that?wink

Mouthfulofquiz Thu 12-Sep-13 11:19:53

Definitely go out! All day and leave your phone off!

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 11:20:50

Right, I have to go get dressed and throw things in the dishwasher do good housewife type stuff for a bit. I promise I'll update as and when I hear anything!

Bowlersarm Thu 12-Sep-13 11:21:34

I don't think you're being unreasonable. Why should you waste your Saturday waiting in for them, then waste your weekend entertaining them especially at your stage of pregnancy?

It doesn't sound as though they have to make too much of a detour to get to you, so you don't need to feel guilty about that.

And it's very presumptuous to assume it's ok with you, without waiting for confirmation back from you.

It would be slightly different if they were popping in for a cup of tea but even then the should still wait to hear from you that they are welcome.

EldritchCleavage Thu 12-Sep-13 11:23:02

Leg it, Flumps!
And if they do worm their way in, take to your bed and only stir to call for tea in a shaky voice.

BuntyPenfold Thu 12-Sep-13 11:24:57

grin yoshipoppet, I live in Devon and I quite often have a mobile signal but my neighbour doesn't; she has to go out into the middle of the hump-backed bridge opposite the house. Something to do with granite apparently.

OP can't you have a false alarm? As it's so close anyway?

honeybunny14 Thu 12-Sep-13 11:25:44

Yanbu go out

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful Thu 12-Sep-13 11:32:14

You should go out. You shouldn't be waiting on anyone of you are due in 2 weeks. Sorry about the spd, it truly sucks.

fluffyraggies Thu 12-Sep-13 11:39:07

Yeah, go out.

Or - for your own comfort - stick the car round the corner, come back home and just keep your head down on the sofa with chocolate and DVDs lie low for the day.

YoniMitchell Thu 12-Sep-13 11:49:24

They seriously want to just dump themselves on you a matter of days before you're due to give birth? shock

Absolutely go out or ignore the doorbell!

The bolshy side of me would be tempted to stay in, open the door and then tell them they can't come in or stay as you're DAYS AWAY FROM GIVING BIRTH (yes, shout that bit if needed) and have other things to do (like sleep, play with your DS, not wait hand-and-foot on unwelcome visitors).

I appreciate you might prefer a less confrontational approach though.

Hopefully your DH will have the opportunity to put them right beforehand though and they will just continue on their merry way home.

Good luck (with dodging the rellies and the birth!).

pindorasbox Thu 12-Sep-13 11:49:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrspaddy Thu 12-Sep-13 11:54:02

I am at the same stage of you be don't have that condition and I can honestly say.. Put yourself first... Absolutely go out....

If you need to don't come back until Monday!!!!

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 12:01:42

I'm going out. Just called my mum and she is happy for me and DS to go camp at her house tomorrow. GPIL don't have my mobile number so couldn't get hold of me if they wanted to. Then DH, DS and I will go out Saturday for a nice family day. If they show up Saturday morning we will be in a nice state of chaos and will just say "no, sorry, busy, will come see you soon."

EldritchCleavage Thu 12-Sep-13 12:02:49

Have they got form for this sort of thing?

CocacolaMum Thu 12-Sep-13 12:04:37

drawn red spots all over your faces and cough a lot when you answer the door. Bet they don't stop.

LilRedWG Thu 12-Sep-13 12:04:43

Agree with the lovely note on door, "so sorry we couldn't get hold of you, etc etc"

Feminine Thu 12-Sep-13 12:06:49

I was 2 days off from having out eldest (15 yrs ago)

I was treated to guests from the US. I took them all over London, I cooked for them....they were only 18 years old!

So, not wanting anyone else to be 'done in' I would also suggest you hide!

Good luck.

Delighted you have made arrangements!

Come back and let us know if they do show up and how it all goes, ok?

expatinscotland Thu 12-Sep-13 12:09:43

Go out.

I never understand people who allow others to abuse them this way.

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 12:10:15

Oh yeah EldritchCleavage they have form. Last time they came to stay they were very upset because breakfast in bed wasn't offered. I had been up since 6ish with DS (DH and I take turns to lie in at weekends) and at about 9:30ish grandad in law came down and sat in the living room. I cheerfully said "breakfast things are in the kitchen" and he sort of ignored me and cracked open the Daily Mail a paper. After about ten minutes he sniffed "I'll get my own breakfast then, shall I?"

oscarwilde Thu 12-Sep-13 12:11:05

Bit short notice to arrange a weekend away with your DS but that's what I'd do under the circs. Lovely babymoon in a hotel with plenty of kiddie friendly things to do where you can snooze on an overstuffed sofa or spa while DH and DS head to the pool.--ignores reality of the cost of such places and the simple unfairness of having to spank hundreds of pounds just to avoid your GPILs--

Or I'd hide out at my mums leaving a note on the door to say you've all gone away and hope that when you come back they won't be asleep in the car in your driveway.

YoniMitchell Thu 12-Sep-13 12:16:11

Glad you have something sorted!

expatinscotland Thu 12-Sep-13 12:18:05

'Last time they came to stay they were very upset because breakfast in bed wasn't offered. I had been up since 6ish with DS (DH and I take turns to lie in at weekends) and at about 9:30ish grandad in law came down and sat in the living room. I cheerfully said "breakfast things are in the kitchen" and he sort of ignored me and cracked open the Daily Mail a paper. After about ten minutes he sniffed "I'll get my own breakfast then, shall I?"'

Keep doing that, every single time. Do not cater or wait on these poeple.

AlpacaPicnic Thu 12-Sep-13 12:19:33

Run! Run till you can run no more!

I predict a hurt message from them

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 12:23:55

Feminine Crikey! sad poor you!

Expat don't worry, I have no intention of letting them cross the doormat, let alone cater for them.

I hereby promise to update if I get a phonecall or an unexpected visit, or if indeed DC2 shows up early! grin

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 12:24:25

Alpaca - more like waddle quite slowly for a minute or two!

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 12:28:46

And thank you everyone for thw good wishes for the birth. I'm hoping to have a home birth (another reason why I REALLY don't want overnight guests)!

EldritchCleavage Thu 12-Sep-13 12:32:51

I'm so glad to hear you don't pander to it, so many people do!

And yes, good luck with the birth, I hope the SPD lifts and PIL don't cause you too much bother.

elQuintoConyo Thu 12-Sep-13 12:38:34

Good luck with Gpil and the homebirth LadyFlumpalot thanks

* great name btw

CaptainCapybara Thu 12-Sep-13 12:39:30

YANBU at all, is there any way you can stay at your mum's on friday night so you're not even there on saturday morning either? Your GPIL are cheeky bastards, let them drive home or find a hotel.

YoniBottsBumgina Thu 12-Sep-13 12:40:05

Ooh now that's an interesting angle. Have you got a birth pool? Can you inflate it in the most annoying place possible, and then start talking loudly about placenta bowls and fish nets to "dispose of any waste products" and whether you need a spare liner for the pool, and if possible recruit your crunchiest pretend if necessary friends to come round and chant birth mantras and do some kind of "labour dance"? grin

ZingWantsCake Thu 12-Sep-13 12:47:33

tbh if I was so close to giving birth I wouldn't try and come up with any tactics to avoid them.

I would call them up and tell them it is not convenient.
if they turned up I would remind them of the phone conversation.
I would not let them in and would just shut the door on them.

no way I would let them chase me out of my own house 3 days before I'm due to give birth!
in the nicest possible way I say fuck that

but if you feel that staying at your parents' house is less stress for you I can understand that.

good luck for impending birth!

MrsWolowitz Thu 12-Sep-13 12:49:27


PomBearArmy Thu 12-Sep-13 12:49:51

Good luck with it all OP!

SlobAtHome Thu 12-Sep-13 12:54:21

<sits quietly in corner waiting for the tantrum for PILs>

Mumoftwoyoungkids Thu 12-Sep-13 12:55:05

Fill the birth pool up and if they turn up on Saturday morning dh can answer with "oh no - I was hoping you were the midwife - flump's just about to get in the pool" <<indicate very full pool>> " - do you taking ds to soft play for a few hours as it'll be much easier if he isn't here....oh dear - you have to go!"

Not to be done if GMIL is the type to barge in and want to be part if the action!

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 13:00:14

Zing - They are uncontactable. The only contact number we have for them isn't working. DH has left a "call us" text message in case they are simply out of signal.

I'm not having a birth pool unfortunately but they do know I want a home birth so if they do show up I may just let rip some screaming and a few choice swear words from upstairs whilst DH answers the door. grin

Squitten Thu 12-Sep-13 13:02:43

You know, treating them to the glorious sight of you crowning a baby on your sofa might be just the ticket! grin

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 13:04:03

Squitten grin grin

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 13:05:57

Those of you lurking or waiting for the wrath of the Inlaws may have to wait til tomorrow evening about 6:30ish I'm afraid, unless I can get hold of them today.

TakingThePea Thu 12-Sep-13 13:09:16

Place marking grin

ZacharyQuack Thu 12-Sep-13 13:10:10

Dismantle the spare bed. Offer them sofa cushions on the living room floor. Bonus points if you have an ashmatic, slobbery dog that absolutely must also sleep in the living room. Tell them how much you are looking forward to them looking after their great-grandchild for the weekend as you are absolutely exhausted and are planning to sleep for 24 hours.

RichardDawkinsAngel Thu 12-Sep-13 13:12:00

That really made me laugh, Squitten grin

PoppadomPreach Thu 12-Sep-13 13:13:17

Good luck, OP. one if the clearest YANBU's I have seen on MN for a while!!

ZingWantsCake Thu 12-Sep-13 13:19:45

oh of course they can't be contacted, I should have known!
it does not surprise me the slightest.

they are playing power games with you - what a classic presentation of passive-aggressive behaviour!

two words : fuck them

now repeat after me :"I'm in control and I will be in control"

you have got to put your poor swollen foot down and seriously hit back.
if you go out they will inconvenience you anyway so they have won! do not let them win.

stay put and send them away. you don't even have to answer the door.

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 13:20:06

Right I really must go do stuff now. Promise to update you all!

Wow I can't believe the cheek of some people!

MrsRoss26 Thu 12-Sep-13 13:26:27

<marks place>

Rude sods! I really hope you get a showdown of some sort grin Fx for you keeping well & calm though flumps and best of luck for the birth!

MammaTJ Thu 12-Sep-13 13:41:31

Stick to your guns! You really do not need or want this.

A heavily pregnant lady is not someone to be messed with!

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer Thu 12-Sep-13 13:46:48

Definitely hide out at your parents house. I hope this teaches them a lesson.

blimey! glad to read you've made plans.

i hate people like that... but then i hate people (apart from my dm) invading my space

good luck with the birth

CruCru Thu 12-Sep-13 13:53:55

Dude, you can't possibly have people staying. Even if they were trying to be helpful (these aren't) it would still be a pain in the arse.

Dubjackeen Thu 12-Sep-13 13:55:26

YANBU...I had same thought as others up thread, husband to greet them at door, bucket in hand, just filling pool etc. I bet they would disappear mighty fast. Best of luck with the birth, and get as much rest as you can beforehand. flowers

Beccagain Thu 12-Sep-13 13:56:29

but then i hate people (apart from my dm) invading my space

Blimey I'm gald I'm not your MiL

Inertia Thu 12-Sep-13 13:59:39

Send a text from DH's phone saying sorry, Ladyflumpalot is away and I am at work so you won't be able to come to visit that weekend. Even if they don't have a signal now, they will pick up the message once they are back on the network.

Would your mum be willing for you, DH and Ds to stay overnight at hers on Friday night so DH can come straight there from work? And then go out from your mum's on Saturday morning?

<Blatant place-marking>

Do they know how close to your due date you are?? Words fail one. YANBU.

AndHarry Thu 12-Sep-13 14:05:27

Put up a tent in your garden and invite rave a note on the door saying you're out but tent's up, make yourselves at home. Be sure to put down roll mats rather than an air bed. Bet they would be gone grin

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 14:08:32

Right. I have been sensible.

I have tried calling the mobile number again. I just get four long beeps then cut off. So I have sent the following text for them to pick up when they get a signal:

Hi (grandad in law), (my name) again. Trying to call you but cannot get through. Am very sorry but we really can't be having visitors at all this weekend given that my due date is only 4 days away. Would be far too much for us all at the moment as I have been feeling really ill and exhausted with the pregnancy. We will come see you guys soon though, once new baby is here and we are all settled. Hope you are having a good holiday.

I now feel completely absolved of all responsibility should they show up and I'm not here or we turn them away etc, especially as MIL and FIL also know we have been trying to contact them and were just as shocked as to why! smile

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 14:10:06

Oh bollocks! Have just realised this means they now have my number! Darn it to heck!

ZingWantsCake Thu 12-Sep-13 14:12:08

good job, well done!

have a sticker ★


I hope you feel better. the last thing you need is being hassled.

ZingWantsCake Thu 12-Sep-13 14:15:06

I doubt they will call you.
it would stop them from being control if you knew what they are planning to do.

trust me. I know this type.

(unless of course they will rseort to calling you at 4am, but your phone will be switched off anyway.)

Rufus43 Thu 12-Sep-13 14:15:35

Go out, hide somewhere with coffee and cake!

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 14:17:00

ZingWantsCake at 4am I reserve the right to answer the phone to anyone at all with "unless you are dying, FUCK OFF" and have in fact been known to do this.

H2Ointolerant Thu 12-Sep-13 14:18:09

Go to your mum's. Phone off. Tell them it was faulty if/when you next have to speak to them.

Stop worrying!

Oh and make sure your house in not easily break-into-able, or you might get home to find them with their feet up in your lounge.

nilbyname Thu 12-Sep-13 14:22:29

Ooh good text and now sitting back and will watch with interest

YANBU and good for you for the text. Firm but polite.

Ifcatshadthumbs Thu 12-Sep-13 14:27:25

Awaits update tomorrow.

ZingWantsCake Thu 12-Sep-13 14:29:21

flump grin

channel that anger! you go girl!

and call me Zing!wink

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 14:29:27

I'm still going to my mums tomorrow, she's excited about seeing DS and will make me tea and sandwiches just how I like them! grin

My lovely, now late MIL invited herself when I was due. I told her everyone in my family goes late and that we were planning a home birth so maybe not turn up. She turned up 2 days after my due date. Fortunately I went over two weeks, almost three with induction, late and she very nearly missed seeing DD at all. She saw her for a couple of days, while I was safely in hospital, then had to leave.

However, she cleaned, cooked, brought San Pellegrino to people in hospital me and was generally lovely (if incredibly rude to book flights on the off-chance). Your PIL are not.

ZingWantsCake Thu 12-Sep-13 14:31:47


no, hiding and running way is not the answer here.
not in this situation.
you have to stand up to bullies and be firm and teach them a lesson. or it will never stop

ZingWantsCake Thu 12-Sep-13 14:34:39

my last comment was an answer to the idea of saying the phone was faulty. there is no need for excuses.

they now know it's not convenient and flump needs to explain herself no further IYSWIM.

flump enjoy your day at your mums!

allmycats Thu 12-Sep-13 14:34:49

You could do the old fashioned thing and send a letter by 1st class post - you can pay extra to guarantee delivery by tomorrow - telling them NO

TeamEdward Thu 12-Sep-13 14:36:55

Marking my place for the GPIL show-down...

I really hope you get your hassle-free, IL-free homebirth OP!

Bogeyface Thu 12-Sep-13 14:58:01

Wow, some people really are amazingly un self aware arent they?!

Hope it goes ok OP smile

elcranko Thu 12-Sep-13 15:09:49

I can't get my head around the fact that people think its ok to show up on the doorstep of a woman a couple of days away from her due date, let alone expect to stay the night!

So glad that you won't be in OP. I actually hope that they don't get the message in time and turn up anyway as it might teach them a thing or two about waiting for confirmation in the future.

LilRedWG Thu 12-Sep-13 15:17:26

Well done! I would have been a coward and made an excuse. You are amazing!

elfycat Thu 12-Sep-13 15:22:17

As you've sent the text saying you are exhausted stick with that and do not elaborate. You are going to your mothers to be looked after and have a break because of 'women's trouble'. Leave it at that because being 4 days from EDD is enough trouble.

Then really go and sit down and put your feet up.

LilRedWG Thu 12-Sep-13 15:24:47

If you don't feel up to speaking to them if they call tomorrow, get your mum to answer.

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 15:30:26

Thank you all. smile

msrisotto Thu 12-Sep-13 15:31:25

Well done for being direct with them. I hope they get the fucking hint! Some people have rhino hides!

EldritchCleavage Thu 12-Sep-13 15:34:24

Love 'Get your mum to answer': 'Sorry, Flumps isn't playing out today'

KoalaFace Thu 12-Sep-13 15:58:49

I am shock at the cheek of some people!

Flump have a lovely time at your DM's and hope you have a good weekend with DS and DH.

Your GPIL should get a good telling off from your DH or PIL for making you stressed while heavily pregnant.

ChasedByBees Thu 12-Sep-13 16:07:42

Wow they're rude!

not placemarking at all, oh no

TalkativeJim Thu 12-Sep-13 16:14:30

Phone on silent.

I'm SO SORRY I missed your calls! As you know, I've been feeling really ill. I was in bed all afternoon with the phone downstairs...

technosausage Thu 12-Sep-13 16:23:32

Marking place. Good luck with the birth!

Ooh I want to know what happens!


LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 16:42:22

Well no reply as of yet. Won't know if they have contacted DH til he gets home. I copied my text to him in case of any sneaky behind my back type stuff.

ZingWantsCake Thu 12-Sep-13 17:40:21

grin @ "can't go out to play"

Flumps' Mum could add " she's playing hide and seek"! grin


MintyChops Thu 12-Sep-13 17:43:00

Well done on a great, direct text. I am stunned that they not only know your due date but also that you are hoping for a home birth! Selfish buggers. Also hope they turn up (when you are at your mum's) and perhaps learn their lesson....

Pixielady83 Thu 12-Sep-13 17:52:21

I am so glad you are refusing and going out. It is so rude and presumptious of them. My MIL invited herself to stay when I was 35wks and on crutches with SPD last time. Said she would be helpful etc etc. My enduring memory of the visit is of her 'just asking' how to load each item into the dishwasher and then watching while I struggled to bend up and down and end up doing the whole thing because 'she didn't want to get it wrong'. The fury is with me still. Good luck with your home birth smile

You're doing the right thing - good luck! smile

Euphemia Thu 12-Sep-13 18:05:38

Good for you! Stay strong. smile

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 18:12:52

Well DH is home and in full agreement with me over everything at 39 wweks pregnant he doesn't dare disagree and has heard nothing himself from his grandparents.

So, the plan is that I drop him at work tomorrow, take DS to get a biscuit and have a play in the park then head to my mums - will go straight from there to pick DH up so will be out of the house from 8am to 6pm tomorrow.

We are then going on a day trip on Saturday to enjoy and spend some quality time with DS as a family of three for possibly the last time.

So yeah, they have been texted and told not to bother so assuming they make no contact between now and showing up, it is not my problem and I will not feel bad.

So there.


ZingWantsCake Thu 12-Sep-13 19:11:56

excellent plan - enjoy your time!
will you update after baby's born?

good luck with birth, I bet you can't wait. smile

MrsWembley Thu 12-Sep-13 19:35:12

Well done on that text, Flumps, soooo pleased you told them straight with no excuses. And your DH is fab, agreeing with you and everything!grin

Now, can we just check, your DM is going to pander, isn't she, and not expect too much from you?

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 20:28:14


So, GFIL just phoned. He never actually received my texts but told me that GMIL had basically read him the riot act about abusing hospitality. Turns out she had no idea, so they would not be stopping in.

Cue an awkward few minutes whilst we both tried to talk over each other.

He sounded a bit hacked off but that's not my issue.

Thanks GMIL! grin grin

Hurrah for sensible GMIL grin

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 20:32:55

And yes MrsWembley at the moment my mum won't even let me off the sofa whilst she's here. She has her moments and has quite narcissistic tendencies, but at the moment she is being a darling.

AlpacaPicnic Thu 12-Sep-13 20:34:02

phew! Glad that's been cleared up!

But you should still go and get pampered by your mum smile

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 20:34:58

Zing course I'll update once the baby is here. I suspect I'll probably have a live labour thread as a way of keeping my mind off it.

Thank you everyone for yoir support today, you all helped me stay strong.

mymatemax Thu 12-Sep-13 20:39:54

How old are they, as your dh grandparents I'm guessing they must be fairly elderly.
Maybe at their age they find the drive exhausting.

They wont be around forever, make the most of it while you can

LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 20:41:14


They holiday in this country and abroad several times a year. Nowt to do with energy levels.

Glad it is all sorted and you have arranged a bonus relaxing day at your mum's. Spd with a toddler is grim.

LilRedWG Thu 12-Sep-13 20:51:49


LadyFlumpalot Thu 12-Sep-13 20:53:54

Also, I just 1471ed the number they phoned off and it's completely different to the contact number DH and his entire family have for them.

ZingWantsCake Thu 12-Sep-13 23:37:27


excellent progress, your GMIL was great!
aren't you happy that you listened to me chose to be direct about it?

better ending then you could imagine and all happy! hurrah!

I feel sorry for poor Papa now, I can only imagine the bollocking....ouch!
I live with enough males to say with confidence - just such a typical bloke! not thinking, whatsoever.

enjoy the pampering, you deserve it!brew cake

Bogeyface Fri 13-Sep-13 01:48:20

I suspect that GMIL in law knew he was planning this, disagreed and then when she found out it was not on said "SEE?! I told you so!!!"

Retroformica Fri 13-Sep-13 07:11:27

Text them yourself. Ensure it is the right number but just no signal.

Say your SPD is particularly bad and you will be resting all weekend. Say you are very very sorry but you are needing o turn away all house guests. Laying low with all the family before the birth Tuesday.

MrsRoss26 Fri 13-Sep-13 11:22:21

Fab result! Good on GMIL. Have a great last few days as a family of 3 flumps

LadyFlumpalot Sat 21-Sep-13 17:23:24


My daughter arrived at 9:58am on Wednesday morning. Unfortunately I didn't get my homebirth as her waters wouldn't go and this was stopping provression. Ambulanced in, waters artificially ruptured and Emily Jane arrived three pushes later.

smile grin smile

ZingWantsCake Sat 21-Sep-13 17:25:59

I'm so happy for you!
Congratulations on the birth of lovely Emily Jane!thanks

hope you are doing well.

Euphemia Sat 21-Sep-13 17:32:48

Aaaaw! Congratulations. smile flowers

LadyFlumpalot Sat 21-Sep-13 17:35:09

Thank you! It was very quick. 4 hours from first contraction to last push. Didn't get any latent phase at all, just nothing then BANG, one minute long, three minutes apart pains. Was already 9cm at first exam which was two hours after the first pain.

Good job we didn't have visitors, barely had time to get DS up and out before I was pushing!

Dubjackeen Sat 21-Sep-13 17:37:04

Well done and congrats on the birth of your lovely baby! flowers

Tee2072 Sat 21-Sep-13 17:38:42

Congratulations and welcome Emily Jane! flowers

Lovely name. grin

AlistairSim Sat 21-Sep-13 17:50:30

Awwwww! smile

Congratulations! flowers

How lovely, congratulations! flowers
Thanks for the update. grin

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Sat 21-Sep-13 18:04:08

Yep, go out and don't give it another thought.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Sat 21-Sep-13 18:04:43

Just read latest grin


GobTheGoblin Sat 21-Sep-13 18:08:38

Aww congratulations, thanks

shoofly Sat 21-Sep-13 18:17:11

Lovely news xx Congratulations flowers

Wow what a lovely update to this thread, and such a beautiful name! Enjoy the cuddles while they last as I am sure you know they don't stay small and cuddly for long! smile All the best smile

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer Sat 21-Sep-13 19:31:34


ouryve Sat 21-Sep-13 19:36:43

congratulations! fizzy wine and flowers

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful Sat 21-Sep-13 19:46:23

Congratulations, such a good job you had no visitors. Best thread update ever.

caramelwaffle Sat 21-Sep-13 19:56:07


Lovely name.

dutchyoriginal Sat 21-Sep-13 20:23:34

Lovely name and congrats

elcranko Sat 21-Sep-13 21:46:01

Congratulations! smile

boschy Sat 21-Sep-13 22:40:26

how lovely, well done you and welcome to Emily Jane! hope she is letting you get some sleep now.

LadyFlumpalot Sat 21-Sep-13 22:56:02

Thank you all!

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