According to FIL i am a selfish gobshite.

(109 Posts)
cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 22:42:31

For the past month i have been really ill. I had food poisoning, then a kidney infection leading onto thrush (yey) .
Today i could barely get out of bed because i felt so weak.

FIL turned up and because i didn't get out of bed at 9:30 i am a selfish gobshite!
I had been up most of the night with DD with a sickness bug and it looks like i'm getting it too. Dp and fil just got into the car and went to bil's house where according to Dp they sat and discussed how i make them feel unwelcome in our home.

Over the past year Dp has lost his job an decided that he wants a year out (that's another thread)
My mother has escaped an abusive relationship which caused no end of trouble.
We found out that my brother was addicted to prescription drugs.
I practically had a nervous breakdown.

I work, Dp doesn't. He sits his butt on the couch and doesn't really do much. He'll wash the pots and make dinner every night but that's about it.
On my days off i clean the house because if i don't it won't get done.

MIL comes on a monday as soon as i get in from work, we get a long great but her waving a cup at me as i'm taking my work jacket off pisses me off.

Dps brother pops in every night for 10-30mins for no reason in particular. He likes to come at tea time with his family which i find annoying.

His nan visits every saturday night without fail. Even if we tell her we have plans she bangs on the door.

Fil insists on spending saturday sat on my couch. Literally the whole day. This is the only day i have with my family because i work every other day. So i have asked the family if they might leave us on our own on that day.

They have all turned on me and i am very upset. FIL said he has washed his hands of me and i am a selfish gobshite.
Please tell me aibu?

p.s. My family don't visit because dp's family are always here and they get made to feel like they shouldn't be here. Even christmas day all of Dp's family turned up and stayed all day and even watched us eat our lunch.

hoppingmad Sat 07-Sep-13 22:46:47

Bloody hell, yanbu.
You are, however, being far too accommodating. No way would anyone be welcome at my house that often!

No no no, if they want to call you selfish fine but get some rules sorted. Think this should be your breaking point and from now on things happen your way!

MimiSunshine Sat 07-Sep-13 22:49:36

No YANBU but if it means the inlaws don't come round as much then who cares if he thinks you are a gobshite. Just swallow the annoyance and enjoy the peace and quiet.
He might be trying to use reverse psychology on you, to try and get you to become Miss Hospitality in order to change his mind. And even if he's just a rude pig then either way don't take any notice.

YouTheCat Sat 07-Sep-13 22:49:40

What does your 'd'p have to say on the matter?

If he thinks this is acceptable, is adding nothing to home life, is not looking for work, don't you think it might be time to ditch the lot of them?

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 22:50:21

I have tried and tried to sort something out that would work for us all but his family won't listen. It's a big family so i understand that they all want to visit but when it's every single day it's getting me down.

Straight after work, dinner time etc.. it's too much.

FutTheShuckUp Sat 07-Sep-13 22:50:51

They sound foul. And if I'm honest I'm struggling to see 'd'ps redeeming features. A year out I ask myself.

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 22:53:07

Fil's wife left him two years ago so he's very lonely. He sits in my house spouting sexist shite.

I came in from work last sunday and he asked me why my kitchen was a mess! It not a mans job blah blah blah

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 22:54:36

He has always worked and provided for the family so it's about time i pulled my weight.
He picks the kids up from school and such but he Dp doesn't do much around the house.

NoelHeadbands Sat 07-Sep-13 22:54:44

I agree with them, you selfish gobshite!

I'm kidding of course, what does your DP say about this? Does he realise that the situation is becoming untenable?
He needs to, because if nothing changes, I'd bet my bottom dollar that you won't be together this time next year

Hissy Sat 07-Sep-13 22:54:49

Fucking hell!

Move house!

Don't tell em where!

CharityFunDay Sat 07-Sep-13 22:55:40

FIL said he has washed his hands of me

So he won't be coming round any more? Result!

Seriously, they sound absolutely fucking atrocious, and your husband should be having words with them.

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 22:55:58

Dp doesn't want to upset his dad because his dad is in a 'fragile' state.
He has mentioned having suicidal thoughts.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgadorSpartacus Sat 07-Sep-13 22:56:46

Hi selfish gobshite, I'm controlling bitch, nice to meet you.

From our point of view the very moment my in laws walked away from us our lives and my marriage and our relationship became infinitely better.

However, as it stands your 'd'p concerns me. You sound like you are being taken advantage of from all and sundry and he is guilty of encouraging it and perpetuating it.

What does he bring to your life?

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 22:57:48

Yes Charity. He has said he's not coming here any more but what's pissing me off is that i am being made out to be the bad guy here.
Fil bought me a birthday card and scribbled out the daughter inlaw bit because we're not married!
Why didn't he just buy me a normal one? He had to prove a point.

AgadorSpartacus Sat 07-Sep-13 22:58:36

Oh emotionally manipulative of his son. Yep seen that one too.

Utter rubbish. I know who the gobshite is here and it sure as hell isn't you.

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour Sat 07-Sep-13 22:58:55

You need to tell all of them to just fuck right off

There is no way you should tolerate being treated like this, especially in your own home

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 23:01:11

Dp is a decent bloke most of the time. At the moment i could strangle him.
He told me he's stuck in a hard place and doesn't want to be in the middle. He wants his family to be able to come here as often as they want.

Valentines night dp cooked me a lovely meal and they all turned up!!

CharityFunDay Sat 07-Sep-13 23:02:24

Your husband needs a kick in the cock. His responsibility is to you, not them.

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 23:02:47

Don't get me wrong sometimes when they turn up i go and sit in my room. Now that is horrible.
I can be a right cow too.

Mil and Fil don't get on (divorced 30 years ago) and fil likes to slag her off in front of my children. I told him to shut his pie hole and he hasn't like me ever since.

Cupcake1985 Sat 07-Sep-13 23:03:06

You are kinder than I would ever be. I think I would have screamed at the them all by now. Or divorced my DH just to get rid of the family - especially if he didn't support me when I expressed my view. But then I've always had in-law issues. I need boundaries with everyone except DH.

YouTheCat Sat 07-Sep-13 23:03:35

If he's unwilling to see how negatively they impact on your relationship then it's time to move on.

I lived with my mil for years (we did not get on well tbh) and even she wouldn't have intruded like that.

AnyFucker Sat 07-Sep-13 23:03:49

Take my advice.

Do a moonlight flit with no forwarding address and leave all the fuckers to it. And that includes your lily livered and spineless "d"p

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 23:04:55

We have been together for 16 years and FIL didn't see us much. Maybe twice a year? Then he split up from his wife and he hounded his children,
I should be happy really. He sits in Bil's house every day for hours.

anonacfr Sat 07-Sep-13 23:05:14

Kick in the cock. grin

AgadorSpartacus Sat 07-Sep-13 23:06:10

It isn't nice to have to choose but his priority in this is your little family. He needs to take his bollocks in both hands and tell them how things will be from now on.

You are plainly going through the mill. You need his support. Not picking the splinters out his arse sitting on the fence.

The taking a year out thing. Gosh how self indulgent of him.

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 23:06:12

He feels guilty Anyfucker. He moved in with Fil for two months because he was threatening all kinds of rubbish.
Dp is beside himself and i think he's on the verge of a breakdown.

NoelHeadbands Sat 07-Sep-13 23:07:27

He wants his family to be able to come here as often as they want.

But that's not reasonable

Doha Sat 07-Sep-13 23:08:02

Get shot of the DP he is a freeloader just like his family.He should not be taking a year off. Surely if it's not a mans job to clean the kitchen then it is not a woman's job to go out and be the breadwinner. twisted logic from your DP's dad. Note l don't call him FIL as you are luckily not legally tied to any of them.
You would have more peace and rest on your own with your DC's.
Can l ask who own's/rents the house

AgadorSpartacus Sat 07-Sep-13 23:08:36

Fucking FIL needs his bluff calling pronto.

AnyFucker Sat 07-Sep-13 23:08:44

Not guilty enough to stand up for the partner he is supposed to cherish ?

Not. Good. Enough.

There is a simple solution for your DP. Decide where his priorities lie.

acer12 Sat 07-Sep-13 23:08:51

Fuck that!!
I had to make PIL feel uncomfortable here when me s Dh moved in as they would 'just pop by' any time from 6-10 pm! Just sat there watching telly nodding off!
FIL always rocked up on Sunday at 3 when I put dinner out so he ended up with one- in the end I stated cooking joint early and hiding it in oven. I wouldn't have minded so much but he likes to be waited on hand and foot.
Things come to a head when I was pregnant and I just started locking the front door and said to dh I needed peace and privacy now.

Embrace being selfish!!!!

Kormachameleon Sat 07-Sep-13 23:09:10

Jeez ! I would tell them they are not welcome and will not be allowed in and if thy bang the door I will call the police

And if DH didn't agree with and stand by me I would include him in that too

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 23:09:25

I have said to have them here when i'm in work. I think that is reasonable.
Then i can have the night with the family. I want saturday with the family, i won't budge with that and Mil agree's. We get on great.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MammaTJ Sat 07-Sep-13 23:10:16

I am a straight talking woman and notknown for sugar coating buy YANBU!!

Viviennemary Sat 07-Sep-13 23:11:31

Emigrate! I hear NZ is very nice. You need to get away. Just don't let them visit!

If you're ill why were you up with your such dd rather than dp??

I'd second a lot of the others that the main problem is with your dh. If he's grown up with this he might not see what a load of cunts his family are but he does need to put you first. And if you're ill he needs to step up more than he is. Even if he was working fulltime I'd say this by the way.

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 23:11:41

I pinned a note to the door one saying 'fuck off! this isn't a cafe'
Dp was fuming.

Dp has 3 brother and 2 sisters so you can imagine the traffic through my house.

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 23:13:04

Yellow i was up already with my own illness so i thought i would let Dp sleep.

YouTheCat Sat 07-Sep-13 23:13:17

Your dp's father is a grown man and he can sort himself out.

You have been ill. I had a kidney infection years ago, when I was doing way too much and not being allowed time to heal from a previous infection. I nearly ended up in hospital.

Your dp needs to pull his weight.

Nanny0gg Sat 07-Sep-13 23:14:15

DP is a decent bloke most of the time.

Really? When?

As a temporary measure, get your family round. Would they help you?

Your DP's family are dreadfully rude and he's encouraging it.

If he's that worried about his father, suggest he moves in with him...

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 23:15:16

Youthecat i have ended up in hospital with one before. It's pain like i have never felt before.

Fair enough op. Liking your note.

And agree with the poster who said its totally not reasonable for his family to come over whenever they want. You have the right to a family life that doesn't involve all of them. Even if they were the lovliest people in the world. But particularly because they are rude cunts to you in your own home.

Get that sign laminated.

DrCoconut Sat 07-Sep-13 23:16:00

Just for the kidney infection you have my sympathy. I was hospitalised and signed off work for a month when I had one, they make you feel terrible. You WNBU to take to your bed for a week or two IMO if you can trust anyone with childcare.

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 23:16:27

Dp's middle brother is great. He will call first because he knows what's going on.

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 23:17:46

Drcoconut i have to work. If i don't we don't eat.
Dp is on about starting a business of some kind. I wish he would pull his head out of his arse and get in the real world.

AnyFucker Sat 07-Sep-13 23:20:00

he's currently that well known MN phenomenon known as a cocklodger, and his family are toxic hangers-on

AnyFucker Sat 07-Sep-13 23:20:44

I really hope you are not going to finance his "business"

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 23:21:20

Anyfucker. We'd have to have sex for him to be one of those.
Since he lost his job he has put on 5 stone. He eats all day.

iamadoozermum Sat 07-Sep-13 23:21:46

"He wants his family to be able to come here as often as they want."

To me, that's all wrong - yes, you want them to feel that they can come over and feel welcome, but it needs to be when it is suitable and convenient for you, not just whenever they feel like it. Your DP needs to realise that you are his immediate family now and the house is your sanctuary, not an extension of everyone else's home. He is putting their wants and wishes above your needs when it should be the other way round.

Can you say that to him at all? If not, then maybe you need consider whether this relationship is viable into the future.

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 23:22:20

No i won't be financing anything. We have family savings which he will use.
It was his money from before we met.

OhDearNigel Sat 07-Sep-13 23:22:20

Fuck. That. Shit.

Seriously OP, if your FIL/in laws are washing their hands of you, i would put up the bunting, they sound hideous

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 23:24:15

Dp's other nan is housebound and he looks after her a lot. I should point that out really.

AnyFucker Sat 07-Sep-13 23:24:23

Christ Almighty, so this expensive and demanding pet doesn't even give you a right good shagging ?

Oh deary me

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 23:25:49

Only when he can be arsed Anyfucker, that's another thing we row over.

MadBusLady Sat 07-Sep-13 23:26:47

Bloody, bloody hell, how do you stand this?? I've never heard of a whole family of cocklodgers before.

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 23:28:13

Madbuslady - My mum and Mil keep me sane. If it wasn't for them i would go mental and end up in the paper for murder.

NoelHeadbands Sat 07-Sep-13 23:29:03

I'm reassessing my initial statement. I give you six months, not a year.

Unless of course, you're one of those people who just need to be needed; the capable, dependable port in the storm

Ezio Sat 07-Sep-13 23:30:39

OK, so far we know OP, you get fuck all out being with DP, apart from a meal.

You might aswell just employ a personal chef.

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 23:31:09

Noel i have always been the one who has relied on Dp. It's weird and i don't like how our relationship has turned out. I'm 31 fgs.

daftdame Sat 07-Sep-13 23:32:27

Wow if this was IL Bingo you've got Full House but no prize sad. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Ham69 Sat 07-Sep-13 23:38:58

Have you considered emigrating?

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 23:40:17

Wish i could Ham!

YouTheCat Sat 07-Sep-13 23:41:08

You're 31? You have a very long life to lead and do you want it to be like this forever?

He is not going to make any changes while he doesn't have to.

LegoCaltrops Sat 07-Sep-13 23:42:52

Wow. Just read this thread. I thought my PILs were bad. You are a bloody saint for not killing half of them already. I really feel for you OP. My DH lost his job several years ago & sat around watching TV, I work. He looks after DD but has just started college this term. We have had many, many rows about his parents behaviour. Wish I could offer some advice, you have my sympathy though. Hope your DH starts to realise how unreasonable they are being & how difficult it's making your relationship - does he realise that if you break up over his lack of support for you, there will be no 'year out' for him?

WhoDat Sat 07-Sep-13 23:43:11

cooee might be time to have a long clear think on the dynamics of your relationship. It doesn't sound like it's working for either of you anymore, either you both commit to making it functional again (was it ever?) or I would start thinking very hard about starting again. You're young, employed, and clearly have the patience of a saint. No reason why you couldn't.

Buzzardbird Sat 07-Sep-13 23:50:04

Bloody hell Op, your life sounds like a bad irish sitcom.
I would leave the lot of them and move somewhere with no door bell.
You need your space to feel well again...they sound like what I found earlier when I went bug finding with dd earlier and we picked up a plant pot to find 3 generations of wood louse underneath sad

Ham69 Sat 07-Sep-13 23:50:49


cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 23:52:50

I feel better getting it all off my chest.
I have to go to bed now because i have work in the morning.
Thanks all.

AnyFucker Sat 07-Sep-13 23:56:57

So you've got it off your chest

Will anything change though ?

cooeeyonlyme Sat 07-Sep-13 23:57:38

Hopefully. I'm going to get this sorted if it kills me.

AnyFucker Sun 08-Sep-13 00:00:06

Good luck x

cooeeyonlyme Sun 08-Sep-13 00:00:34

Thank you x

ihearsounds Sun 08-Sep-13 00:12:24

Sit them all down, including the person man you live with.

Him, he has to get off his arse and help more. Either that or he gets a job. Clearly you don't need him, you seem to run the house without his help, remind him of this... Then tell him that because he is a wimp you are dealing with his family.

The fil, remind him that he is selfish. He is the one that is disturbing you. That comes all the time and wants to be there. No more. He can come once a month, at a time and day acceptable to you. Any crap and he will be told to leave.

The nan. Let her bang on the door. But she is told the same thing. You can come this time and this day. If she still wants to bang on your door, ignore her and continue your day.

Mil, she can wave her cup as much as she wants. Point her in the direction of the kettle and tell her that you want one as well.

Bil, answer the door, tell him no, not a convenient time and close door. Again he can come at acceptable time and date.

You can either grow a pair and tell them no, or you can continue to be a doormat. The choice is entirely yours... If the wimp wants to have so much input from his family, then he can deal entirely with them elsewhere.

None of them have the right to be in your home. THey cannot just walk in. They need to be invited in. If you let them in each time, then sorry but more fool you.

Ham69 Sun 08-Sep-13 00:14:25

Yes, good luck from me too.

Snazzyenjoyingsummer Sun 08-Sep-13 00:29:07

Selfish gobshite! grin Takes one to know one! Let's hope he won't be coming round anymore - that's one sorted! But you do need what someone else on here wonderfully called the 'Come to Jesus' talk with your 'D'P.

HansieMom Sun 08-Sep-13 00:31:51

you are the breadwinner, DP sits around and eats all day, and has his big family in all the time and they eat your food too. plus they are there all the time. who wouldn't like that??

LegoCaltrops Sun 08-Sep-13 00:39:01

What IHearSounds said. You sound like you are running the place on your own anyway. Maybe remind your DH of that, kindly (or not so kindly). He is onto a good thing & he knows it, if he has any sense or love for you he will step up.

zatyaballerina Sun 08-Sep-13 00:42:51

What do you need your partner for? All he does is laze about eating all day, bringing his family in to invade and abuse you, he's contributing nothing but stress and annoyance. As for the five stone weight gain - eugh, pure laziness and greed.

Get rid of him, let fil take him in, keep each other company. Pack his bags and don't let him back until he has a job and a huge apology for being such an arse (that's assuming you'd want him back, which is unlikely once you see how peaceful, relaxing and lovely your home is without him).

Retroformica Sun 08-Sep-13 00:44:27

Ask DH to go to his dads Saturdays?

MistressDeeCee Sun 08-Sep-13 00:55:38

OP, just reading your thread made me tired. Why on earth are your DPs family so involved in your relatinship with him? Life is really, really too short to go downhill because of a man. I hope you realise that sooner rather than later, when years have gone by and youre looking back on your life. Somehow you must be strong tho because I know Id be unable to take the noise and stress of it all. Theyd all get the big boot from me, every last one of them. I hope you feel better soon.

Moistenedbint1 Sun 08-Sep-13 01:13:06

Has no one suggested that you attach a pair of electrodes to your DP's bollocks yet cooee? (See how high he can jump.. N'that)

Shame on you mumsnet..

Moistenedbint1 Sun 08-Sep-13 01:18:25

On a serious note though - I'd cut my losses with the FIL..

MariaLuna Sun 08-Sep-13 01:43:19

This situation is seriously impacting your health.

He wants to take a year out? Great, tell him to take his family with him!

Mindmaps Sun 08-Sep-13 01:47:39

I think telling him to move in with fil is inspired. He can still do childcare for you but you don't have to look at his fat arose on your sofa all the time.

Mindmaps Sun 08-Sep-13 01:51:27


Thumpalumpa Sun 08-Sep-13 02:04:19

if your DP wants to see his family, he can go round there when you are at work - right!
You are not selfish, they are just resorting to those words to make you feel guilty and carry on doing exactly as they please.
I am slowly learning that life as a doormat doesn't work out for me either. My mantra is now, well who is worried about upsetting me? Let them think you are selfish. What's better, them ruining your weekend and being there all the time or them thinking a bit ill of you?

Thumpalumpa Sun 08-Sep-13 02:04:42

If the cap fits, then wear it with pride.

Euphemia Sun 08-Sep-13 02:19:22

Really - LTB and his family of freeloaders!

(Irrelevant, but I love that you're more ashamed of being "in the paper" for murder than for the act itself! grin)

cooeeyonlyme Sun 08-Sep-13 23:16:59

I made a bit of a scene before work today. I told him to change or he can get out.
I came home to a clean house, clean kids and tea on the table. His brother has been ringing and did turn up for 5 minutes before but i just got up and walked into a different room.

I wish they would understand that my home isn't Lime street station or a bloody cafe.

Tomorrow is monday, Mil's set day to come. As much as i like her i would like to be able to do what i want on a monday.

Grrr i love a good moan.

pigletmania Sun 08-Sep-13 23:28:15

Bloidy hell op, first your dp needs to grow a pair, no is a complete sentance. Do not allow them into your home, stuff what fil thinks about you. You have to concentrate on your family

cooeeyonlyme Sun 08-Sep-13 23:33:58

Has anyone ever seen that house on an tiny island near Menai bridge in Anglesey?
I want that house!

YouTheCat Sun 08-Sep-13 23:41:23

I have seen that house. That would sort them out OP. grin

SamHamwidge Sun 08-Sep-13 23:44:48

This probably sounds quite horrible but all that turning up at each others houses all the time makes them all sound like a bunch of chavs .

You mentioned Lime Street station, so if you are in Liverpool I'll rephrase that to a bunch of scallies.

I too would find it exhausting but then I find most company exhausting these days!

butterflyflyaway Sun 08-Sep-13 23:54:54

You must be exhausted Op you should make use of the useless twunts & go find a nice quiet room/tent to sleep in wine

cooeeyonlyme Mon 09-Sep-13 01:11:53

No not Chavs Sam. I'm working class and proud, Dp's family come from good stock so to speak.
Most are part of the Cheshire set and to be honest they are complete snobby twats.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Mon 09-Sep-13 01:24:40

Jesus wept. I'd pack up the kids, move away and not tell any of them where I'd gone - including DP!! There's not enough room under my patio for all those bodies!! wine << you need it & deserve it!

raisah Mon 09-Sep-13 07:14:03

The key thing is yoyr dp unemployment, because he is available they feel they can drop in all of the time. Seriously tell him to get a job even if its a christmas job at homebase or something.

The odd thing that stood out was that they watched you eat your christmas meal, did you not invite them to share dinner. If that's the case, then that is inhospitable and I would be pissed off with my dh if he ate in front of my family and didn't ask them to share. I would think that he was a lazy selfish person if he couldnt extend hospitality to my family.

Do draw boundaries about visiting times and start to invite your family around as it is your house as much as his. Your post is coming across as slightly 'oh woe is me I can't invite my family around because of the ILs'. Take control and do it, my ILs don't like my family and I don't care I invitr them anyway. My ils can choose not to come if they wish. But do remember that how you behave towards your ils your kids will pick up and might repeat to them so don't discuss them in front of your kids. Also, remember that you too might become an in law oneday.

Raisah its not inhospitable if they weren't invited and turned up en masse anyway and refused to leave. Its downright bloody rude.

YouTheCat Mon 09-Sep-13 07:20:00

I think I'd be a bit pissed off with people turning up and expecting me to be doing drinks etc as soon as I walk through the door from work.

There is no worse feeling that not being at ease in your own home.

I don't think I would be offering Christmas dinner to people who just turned up either. Different if they were invited.

pigletmania Mon 09-Sep-13 08:02:45

Fil would not be Welcome and as on Mumsnet, no is a complete sentance!

LadyEdith Mon 09-Sep-13 08:10:40

Rofl @:

Shut your pie hole

Fuck off this isn't a cafe

Kick him in the cock.

<<mentally stores for future use>>

cooeeyonlyme Mon 09-Sep-13 18:53:50

I'm not the Wimpy. I have a budget and that doesn't include feeding anyone other than my family. That may sound mean but if Their son got off his large hoop and got a job then i might chuck a crumpet their way. Until then tough. We have one wage coming in so i can't be handing out food to every Tom, Dick and Harry who happen to be perched on my couch.

I don't understand why it would be considered rude for me not to offer some christmas dinner to them? I had bought enough for my family. Christmas dinner is expensive.
They have christmas dinner on boxing day so they can spend christmas day visiting family.

As for hospitality, i am to guests. Not to people who just turn up and use my home like a walk in centre.

I have come home today to find that Mil in residence with Sil dc's and all i want to do is sleep.

ChasedByBees Mon 09-Sep-13 19:08:25

Bloody hell. I'd actually LTB for this. I could not bear it.

YouTheCat Mon 09-Sep-13 19:56:03

Cooeey, if you get on with your mil well, could you have a quiet word with her and just say you'd like to come home and be able to have time to unwind before having to entertain guests and maybe have a few nights a week with no guests so you and your family can spend time together?

Or would that be the kind of thing to start her harumphing?

cooeeyonlyme Mon 09-Sep-13 20:04:23

Mil has her set days visiting each one of her kids. Ours just happens to be on a monday. She doesn't like it if we go out because she feel like that is her day.
Apart from that we get on great.

YouTheCat Mon 09-Sep-13 20:05:25

I suppose one day a week isn't too bad.

Any sign of the rest of the freeloaders? grin

cooeeyonlyme Mon 09-Sep-13 20:15:54

Mil is great don't get me wrong but i don't like the idea of having to have a set day.
Nobody else had turned up yet, i think Dp might of had words.

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