To think that is someone is on holiday and updating facebook every 10 mins saying what a great time they are having, that they are really not having a great time at all!

(200 Posts)
PartyFops Sat 07-Sep-13 21:06:47

A friend of mine is on holiday and yes maybe i'm a bit jealous but she has put 15 facebook updates on today alone, and she is only one day 2.

My best holidays have been when I have not felt the need to even look at my phone or ipad!

ssd Sat 07-Sep-13 21:08:24

seriously, facebook is for bragging, nothing else

Steben Sat 07-Sep-13 21:08:44

Exactly OP yanbu

roundtable Sat 07-Sep-13 21:10:03

Depends. Some people just love sharing and others do it because they're bored. Hard to tell without knowing the person.

Yanbu to feel jealous though.

smile

WipsGlitter Sat 07-Sep-13 21:11:18

We call it boast book. DP has a friend with a wealthy wife, kept man and they go on amazing holidays and he posts a gazillion photos of their upgraded rooms etc. Very wearing.

roundtable Sat 07-Sep-13 21:11:21

That looks really passive aggressive, sorry. Wasn't meant that way at all!

CoffeeTea103 Sat 07-Sep-13 21:11:29

Ok then it's her holiday, her fb and she can choose to do whatever she wants. You can block her from your news feed on fb if it bothers you so much. Maybe it's a holiday that she's waited a long time for or really wanting to share this. Whatever the case just move on

SomethingOnce Sat 07-Sep-13 21:21:17

Some people just love sharing

It's not sharing in the pre-social media sense of the word though, is it?

Sharing has come to broadcasting.

SomethingOnce Sat 07-Sep-13 21:21:45

mean broadcasting.

Pagwatch Sat 07-Sep-13 21:24:54

I did a load of mning and some facebook- ing when I was on holiday.
I enjoyed it. Ds needs to spend a lot of time quietly in the villa or in the shade and I sit with him.
If you think I am bragging then you are not my friend.
So if you think this friend is braggy, you don't like her - so delete her.

VaultFullOfTwizzlers Sat 07-Sep-13 21:27:32

I thought that was the point of a holiday - lots of time for MNing.

Lots of dead time at airports etc as well.

Hassled Sat 07-Sep-13 21:30:19

I use FB more on holiday than any other time, simply because I have the time for it when I usually don't. I am that person who's uploading photos of the kids on the beach all the time - not because I'm not having a good time, but just because I can.

And I love seeing photos of my friends' holidays.

DuelingFanjo Sat 07-Sep-13 21:35:16

Seriously, why are you checking your Facebook so often?

PartyFops Sat 07-Sep-13 21:38:21

Dueling do you mean me?

I don't need to check my facebook more than once to see that she has changed her status so many times. They all just follow each other.

curiouselle Sat 07-Sep-13 21:40:05

Some people really are bragging and it can be hard to stomach, but sometimes people just like to share or are putting it on for someone in particular. I put pictures of my dd on but mostly for my brother who lives in japan, I would hate to think someone else thought I was bragging!

mrsjay Sat 07-Sep-13 21:40:42

mumsnetters post from holiday some very lovely ones does that mean if they mention it we should all be envy about it, so what the friends has her phone or ipad with her and is just saying stuff that is all it is words, <shrug> hide her till she comes back I am sure she will share her holiday pics grin

Arisbottle Sat 07-Sep-13 21:41:41

Are you not happy for your friend who is enjoying her Holliday so much that she wants to share with people she thinks are friends

mrsjay Sat 07-Sep-13 21:44:32

and you know she may be bragging or boasting or just chuffed to bits she is on holiday I am sure she is having a great time

BIWI Sat 07-Sep-13 21:47:20

Pictures of her daily routine, going to Tesco, wouldn't be half so interesting though, would they?

Hulababy Sat 07-Sep-13 21:47:40

15 updates in a day is a lot of updates at any time tbh. But it isn't every 10 minutes by a long shot either.

FWIW I have never yet been on a holiday where I haven;t had the odd bit of downtime - sat in a cafe waiting for DH to go to till to order or to the loo; sat on a sunlounger whilst DH and DD are in the pool and I am reading and having chilling, sat waiting for a plane/bus/train, time out in the villa, sitting in the room in an evening whilst DD is having an earlier night, ... I can;t believe many people are really totally engaged with activities 100% of their time on holiday with no downtime.

Posting on Fb takes approximately 20-30 seconds, adding a photo is less than 1 minute, reading some updates from others, less than 5 minutes.

I post the odd update and/or photo on holiday. My family like to see DD enjoying herself on holiday, my close friends claim to like the odd picture too. I certainly like to see my family and friends enjoying their holidays as well.

And let's face it - their is always the defriend button. If you dislike your friend enough to be so annoyed at her updates that you start a Mn thread - then get rid!

LaGuardia Sat 07-Sep-13 21:49:34

Sounds like she is bored shitless. Feel sorry for the sad bint.

BrokenSunglasses Sat 07-Sep-13 21:51:07

If they are on the sort of holiday where you take things easy and sit on a beach all day, then they probably just have more time than normal to think about writing on Facebook.

If they are on a busy group activity holiday and constantly posting about how great it is, then they are probably lying.

quesadilla Sat 07-Sep-13 21:51:24

In some cases, yes, but not necessarily. Some people are just massive over-sharers and can't help themselves. Others are stealth boasting.

Hulababy Sat 07-Sep-13 21:53:16

Oh and a did a bit of MNing too. Infact I posted about said holiday - thread I'd started before going about best places to visit, what not to miss, etc.

FWIW I wasn't bored at all nor having a poor time. I had a fabulous holiday with DH and DD, loved it. I wasn't bragging but I was happy with where I was.

We also sent postcards to close family - telling them about where we were, what we were doing and even with a photo of DD infront of one of the places we visited. Was that bragging to my family too? After all - it is not really any different - photos of said holiday with comment of what we were doing...

Pollywallywinkles Sat 07-Sep-13 21:56:26

Does it really matter?

Pagwatch Sat 07-Sep-13 21:59:25

I had a whole caprinihahahahaha thread when I was on holiday [proud]

MrsWolowitz Sat 07-Sep-13 21:59:45

YABU.

It doesn't take a minute to type a quick update or share a photo.

She's just having fun. Leave her be.

mrsjay Sat 07-Sep-13 22:03:25

some of my friends have been posting from holiday and I did (when i got a phone signal) I liked reading and seeing their pictures <shrug> i honestly don't think it is a big deal

DuelingFanjo Sat 07-Sep-13 22:03:37

Are you checking her Facebook then?

PartyFops Sat 07-Sep-13 22:04:09

OOh 3 more posts, one picture of her dinner, one picture of her glass of wine and status about a tree. Yes I may hide her posts for a week.

PartyFops Sat 07-Sep-13 22:05:47

dueling I take it you are not a facebook user confused. They come up on my news feed.

Doshusallie Sat 07-Sep-13 22:11:39

I think you are being mean.

Arisbottle Sat 07-Sep-13 22:12:50

You sound like a great friend

BIWI Sat 07-Sep-13 22:14:03

TBH, I think you are jealous

Pagwatch Sat 07-Sep-13 22:15:23

I would hide her posts altogether. You really don't like her.

PoppyWearer Sat 07-Sep-13 22:15:37

I post stuff on FB, including from holidays, that might look like bragging, I can see how it might look, but the real reason is just so that my DParents can see where we are, what we are doing and that we are ok. They haven't travelled much, so it's my way of sending them an electronic postcard so they can see where we/the GCs are and what we are doing.

I tend to forget that other people can see it too! blush

DuelingFanjo Sat 07-Sep-13 22:16:57

Yes, I use Facebook. I suspect you would find me really irritating.

Today I posted seven photographs in a row.

whois Sat 07-Sep-13 22:43:36

YABU

Plenty of holidys I've been having an awesome time but still had plenty of time to post on FB!

I love seeing photos and posts from my friends on holiday, I don't get what the big deal is.

VaultFullOfTwizzlers Sat 07-Sep-13 22:45:46

I loved your holiday thread Pag but the best bit was how it came about via DS2 and DH going, "fuck it - let's go!" grin

WhereHasSheGone Sat 07-Sep-13 22:47:39

If she was having some a great time Facebook wouldn't cross her mind. Whenever we go on holiday our phones and the iPads do not come along with us.

PuppyMonkey Sat 07-Sep-13 22:49:04

You can't do anything on Facebook without upsetting someone.

Elsiequadrille Sat 07-Sep-13 22:55:15

Holiday for me includes forgetting about the internet and social media. Seems not everyone thinks the same. I don't understand it, but...

BIWI Sat 07-Sep-13 22:57:00

Holiday for me involves always taking my iPhone, laptop and/or iPad. We're all different. I love being connected with other people.

SnakePlisskensMum Sat 07-Sep-13 22:59:12

Me too BIWI, it takes but a second and me 'real' friends seem happy enough to reply, as do i to them

SnakePlisskensMum Sat 07-Sep-13 23:00:10

My...I know I'm from the Midlands but blooming heck...

BIWI Sat 07-Sep-13 23:00:42

grin

LeGavrOrf Sat 07-Sep-13 23:05:00

Pag you made me laugh on your caiprinhahahaha thread when you said that you asked your husband to get you a caiprinhahahaha instead of your normal drink, your husband said 'what the fuck' and shocked your daughter grin

To be honest I think in this day and age it takes so little time to post something on Facebook and add a photo that it is just part of normal life. Doesn't mean you're a boring bastard or a show off. Just someone who posts things on FB as part of their day wherever they are. And I am not even on FB or like it.

kaosak Sat 07-Sep-13 23:06:40

WhereHasSheGone why on earth wouldn't it cross her mind to update FB if she was having a great time hmm?

I spent a couple of years backpacking around the world a long time ago and a huge amount of that time was spent on trains, waiting for trains, sitting by waterfalls, pools, beaches etc. I wrote ludicrously long airmail letters that I sent to lots of people at home because I actually had time and because most importantly your holiday is the one time of year where you actually do something different and interesting!

I could have saved myself a fortune in stamps and not had writer's cramp half the time if t'internet and FB had been invented back then.

sweetiepie1979 Sat 07-Sep-13 23:10:44

It's not been in the moment If your constantly updating. When I see pepole doing it I always think they are a bit discontented. My friend dI'd it a wee while ago. She went on holiday with husband to fix things after he had an affair the romantic together we are having a fabulous time pictures were endlessalong with the updates of what we are doing now but 6 months later she tells me she spent a lot of time crying on the holiday and she didn't feel it was the holiday it was supposed to be didn't meet her expectations she was posting to convince herself she was having a good time. Obviously that's just my experience with my friend yours could just be a bit of a bragger.

BIWI Sat 07-Sep-13 23:12:57

Erm - it is absolutely 'in the moment' if you're updating!

Cupcake1985 Sat 07-Sep-13 23:14:54

I think a couple of times a week is fine. More than that its boring and annoying. That extends to general facebook life though. Some people upload photos of EVERYTHING and I hate it so much. Get a life. No one cares. It's like if they dont share it with the world there's no point in it happening.

Fabulousleonora Sat 07-Sep-13 23:16:18

I think pretty much everyone is right! Some people are definitely boasting; but some people are sharing - beautiful places, lovely smiles, gorgeous views. I've realised it very much depends on my feelings/relationship with that person, i.e if I really like/love them, and care about them, I love seeing their pics and reading their posts. If I already find them a bit irritating in some way (doesn't mean they are not friends), I might be slightly less delighted to see yet more pictures of another fabulous holiday (how many this year??). 'Boast book' - lol.

sweetiepie1979 Sat 07-Sep-13 23:16:32

Oh God I hate it when people take a picture of their food or wine! I just think you total loser. Savour it enjoy it take a picture for yourself but get over it. It's so vulgar to share every little thing

kansasmum Sat 07-Sep-13 23:17:39

We went on holiday with friends this summer- she spent the whole time glued to her phone doing constant Facebook updates!! She uploaded so any pics via her phone, no-one else could ever get online(wifi in villa)!
Luckily the rest of us were busy having too much fun to post constant updates!

Lazyjaney Sat 07-Sep-13 23:18:00

If she was having some a great time Facebook wouldn't cross her mind

True dat.

Facebook is for the Official Holiday Communique smile

WhereHasSheGone Sat 07-Sep-13 23:19:07

Hello KaoSak

When I am enjoying something or on holiday Facebook never crosses my mind. I am not a person who reports everything to Facebook 'I've just come home from shopping' - 'I'm going to bed now' - 'My husband just said it loves me' hmm

I'd rather tell people something in person other than write it all over Facebook, but hey we are all different grin

sweetiepie1979 Sat 07-Sep-13 23:23:04

No I don't think your in the moment if your updating because you have to get your phone out etc etc your out of it if you start taking pictures and updating

BIWI Sat 07-Sep-13 23:25:03

My phone is always out though! grin

We're all different, obviously. What some people like/want to do/feel it is natural to do, others don't like.

If you have friends on FB who post stuff you don't like or are jealous of, then just unfriend them.

usualsuspect Sat 07-Sep-13 23:25:47

I think.You should delete her for her sake,I wouldn't want someone like you on my FB.

VaultFullOfTwizzlers Sat 07-Sep-13 23:31:23

Me neither, usual.

sweetiepie1979 Sat 07-Sep-13 23:31:29

I agree delete her but tell her why I told my friend that I didn't need to know she was having another cup of tea and deleted her she knew we used Facebook in different ways so we just laugh it off different strokes for different folks. She's been my best friend since we were

sweetiepie1979 Sat 07-Sep-13 23:32:21

Sorry...... 16 now we are in our 30s

BIWI Sat 07-Sep-13 23:36:31

You see, that's the thing. I love to see what my friends are up to. Especially as many of my FB friends are people who live all over the world, who I very rarely see.

I can't see why I wouldn't be interested in what they are up to, or why I wouldn't like to share their enjoyment of their holidays. Why is that so awful that you would actually want to block them? Unless you're jealous of them, of course

usualsuspect Sat 07-Sep-13 23:41:34

I love seeing holiday photos and updates.

I only have people I like on my FB though.

Unlike the OP.

mimitwo Sat 07-Sep-13 23:44:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sweetiepie1979 Sat 07-Sep-13 23:55:24

But the OP does like this person they are friends! I enjoy seeing people's photos and happy Times but the mundane things and constant updates I find boring. It depends on the kind of person you are I'm quite private and I don't really want people to know what I'm doing everyday or despite the lovely food we might have on Saturday evening I would just never think to take a picture and show everyone! I think that would be boastful and showy. But I also realise that some of
my friends that do do it are not been either if those thin:gs they just do it for some reason. But actually it's. my problem that their posts sort of embarass me.... . delete your friend but tell her why it's not a big deal

usualsuspect Sun 08-Sep-13 00:03:06

So you would delete someone and tell them you deleted them because their FB updates were boring?

Really?

Buzzardbird Sun 08-Sep-13 00:29:39

Well it wasn't really every 10 mins was it? That would be several hundred posts a day.
Some people use Fb as a kind of modern day diary, it is no different to the Victorians who would get pen and paper (and sometimes paints) out to record their experiences. I like to 'check in' to restaurants so that I can remember the name in order to write a review after I have sampled the local wine and might forget.
If you don't like it you can delete, its nowhere near as annoying as some updates and 'like farming' you see on fb.

sweetiepie1979 Sun 08-Sep-13 00:30:47

What's farming?

Same about a night out. Pics of every drink. Pics of people with drink. Cheesy line about friends. Pics of friends doing duck face.

Seriously! Live in the moment a wee bit

WafflyVersatile Sun 08-Sep-13 00:42:28

Everyone has a bit of down time on holiday. Resting up in the hotel room between sightseeing and dinner, writing postcards, flicking through a phrasebook on the bog, and posting on facebook.

Buzzardbird Sun 08-Sep-13 01:41:34

'like farming' is those tedious posts that you get saying "like/share this if you hate cancer/love your dcs" etc. Or "how many 'likes' for this poor unsuspecting child with disability who had no idea they were going to be plastered all over the internet"
Its a marketing scam that people (even after being told) don't seem to be able to comprehend.

MariaLuna Sun 08-Sep-13 02:05:03

I notice a lot of (young) people while travelling (Bali!) have their eyes stuck on their smart phone while totally missing what's going on around them... people watching, stunning scenery, chatting to other travellers/locals....

Is it a substitute for engaging in real life? Shyness?

It would be cheaper to stay and do it in the local park!

Moistenedbint1 Sun 08-Sep-13 02:05:45

Pictures of her daily routine, going to Tesco, wouldn't be half so interesting though, would they?

Oh I dunno, given the ubiquitous, somewhat incessant nature of beach shots, palm trees, sunrises, it would be a refreshing change to see an artistically taken shot of a Tesco's trolly. Somewhat more unique.

And a more honest reflection of that individuals life too..

But then again, its human nature - to want to give others a sanitized yet glamorized impression of their mundane lives.

MusicalEndorphins Sun 08-Sep-13 02:22:24

I love seeing friends and familes photo's. I was disappointed when my ds and his gf recently were on vacation and saved most pictures for when they got home.
What I don't care for are a million selfies, that, to me anyways, seems awfully vain. You know when there are dozens of them. Someone I know is bad for that, even pics with her dc she is staring into the camera and just using the dc as an accessory.

glastocat Sun 08-Sep-13 02:24:48

You sound a bit jealous. I love seeing friends holiday photos on Facebook, I have friends all over the world that I don't see often so it's interesting to see them having fun in exotic places. I love getting postcards too, but it seems no one sends them any more. It's not like it takes an age to upload something to fb after all, it only takes a few seconds.

daisychain01 Sun 08-Sep-13 05:07:05

"Feeling blessed in the bread aisle"

LtEveDallas Sun 08-Sep-13 06:27:47

The wifi at this years holiday destination was v bloody expensive, so I didn't use it, but if it hadn't have been I would have been on FB and MN loads. I had so much free time that I don't know what to do with it. I read 7 books in 14 days, that's more than the previous year

Bloody fantastic holiday grin

KatyPutTheCuttleOn Sun 08-Sep-13 07:20:05

Personally I can't see the point, it's too easy to put holiday stuff all over FB and publicize the fact that your house is empty.

SubliminalMassaging Sun 08-Sep-13 07:26:26

God how tedious. The occasional update is fine, like maybe three or four times in the course of the holiday but even a daily update is a bit much, unless you are genuinely doing something fascinating and new every day. Updates on anything several times a day is the sign of a total sad act, whether you are on holiday or not.

Some people really do have an addiction to social media and an addiction the informing the world of their every movement which borders on the unhinged.

And yes, it does matter.

SubliminalMassaging Sun 08-Sep-13 07:27:07

to informing, not the

SubliminalMassaging Sun 08-Sep-13 07:28:24

I love seeing friends photos and updates as well, but by God there are limits, aren't there? hmm

SubliminalMassaging Sun 08-Sep-13 07:32:28

I don't mind people posting on MN on holiday - I do that too. That's different. It's not all about you, you, you and you are interacting with people rather than just bombarding everyone you know with endless banal info. Like what your breakfast in the hotel looks like, or whatever.

A few updates is fine, all good. It's these obsessive nutters that post drivel that get to me. Luckily I don't know many.

Redpipe Sun 08-Sep-13 07:57:23

I love seeing holiday photos and updates. Makes me sigh and smile.

acer12 Sun 08-Sep-13 09:21:10

I love seeing what hotels are like and if my friends are loving it!

If it pisses you of so much block their newsfeed.
Intact delete every one on your friends list so you will only see your posts grin

BitOfAFatCowReally Sun 08-Sep-13 09:27:50

I like to see that my friends are having a good time. Everyone uses FB in different ways and it's extremely easy to hide someone's updates from your news feed.

FreudiansSlipper Sun 08-Sep-13 09:38:09

Not sure why people think othes are so interested seems so self absorbed thankfully my friends are not like this you may get one or two updates

I can not understand the whole sharing your life on fb what happened to meeting up and having a conversation with friends isn't that enough

Pagwatch Sun 08-Sep-13 09:40:39

Freudian
What if you can't do that very often?
What if your updates are primarily for family spread far and wide?

Isn't thinking that everyone must behave as you do a tad self absorbed?

teacherandguideleader Sun 08-Sep-13 09:42:17

I don't understand the whole 'if you don't like the person's updates, you can't like the person' thing. I have a couple of very good friends whose facebook irritates the crap out of me.

One such friend (who I am quite close to) is always posting photos of her and her family on happy days out. I'm not sure who she was trying to convince - I'd spend all week listening to her talk about her unhappy marriage (I didn't mind) and about the other man she was thinking of leaving her husband for and then all weekend watching photos appear of all the fun her and her husband were having. I knew she was desperately unhappy.

When I go on holiday, my phone stays in the safe all day. DP and I barely see each other, while we are away we like to spend time away from phones etc. I take lots of photos but I select a few to upload when I'm home. I usually check facebook once a day while I'm away when DP is in the shower.

Pagwatch Sun 08-Sep-13 09:46:24

I don't think 'if you don't like the updates then you don't like the person'

I do think if you are complaining about the updates, suggesting that the person is dull, showing off, self absorbed and mock them, then you probably don't really like them

My DD has just come back from the Dominican, we (people who are happy for her) all wanted pics, as said, whilst she was having some down time, she updated us, via FB, she doesn't read, so social media is how she fills time gaps in.

When she got there she Face-timed a few people to show us the hotel. I couldn't afford to stay were they are, it was nice to see everything.

For every person who is jealous and resentful of them using FB in this manner, there is someone else who is wants status updates and pics.

One of my DD's friends are leaving for the airport on their first abroad family holiday, we all want to share her 5 year old's excitement.

Some of you are joyless fuckers.

mrsjay Sun 08-Sep-13 09:53:37

Some of you are joyless fuckers.

This made me laugh you are right though I hope your dd enjoyed her holiday,

Pagwatch Sun 08-Sep-13 09:54:26

grin

Also if FB manages to irritate and annoy you to that extent, you need to work on yourself, there is something not right.

FreudiansSlipper Sun 08-Sep-13 09:55:47

The only people I know on my fb who do update constantly are my young cousins, they are at that age I would have done the same at 18

My older friends don't apart from one and she is self absorbed she knows it I know it I love her very much I just prefer to hear about what she is up to when I meet up with her she will often ask did ou see my fb blah blah and I usually reply yep I sat around waiting for every update we laugh about it you can still like someone and find them annoying at times

saythatagain Sun 08-Sep-13 09:56:39

I like seeing friends' pictures but then I'm not a jealous person.
However, I know I live a boring and mundane life and feel no need to share that.
Plus the fact that I don't use FB may also be a reason.
<irrelevant, pointless & unhelpful>

soverylucky Sun 08-Sep-13 10:01:40

The thing is with facebook is that people post all sorts of guff but you can hide their posts or defriend them. No-one is forcing you to read or look.

TigerseyeMum Sun 08-Sep-13 10:02:27

I get fed up of some people complaining that I update too frequently. They like to imply that I am not busy, or need to do more 'real life' things.

In fact, I often post more frequently when I am busy. Mainly because, I take short but more frequent breaks with very little time to do anything much so bob on and chat a bit, post something, read stuff, then get back to what I was doing.

It's my Facebook, I can use it how I like. Mh usual response is, if you don't want to read it, feel free to hide or unfriendly me. I won't be offended.

What I realised is that a few bump ties had accidentally put the automatic alert function on and couldn't work out how to turn it off. So anytime anyone posted anything on their timeline they got an alert!

It's social media. It's not compulsory. You can't force people to use it the same way you do. I post random bits because I know people scattered far and wide and we use it to keep up. If people don't like it, unfriendly, hide or log off!

Pagwatch Sun 08-Sep-13 10:02:34

I post on Facebook about once a fortnight. I have a small number of FB friends.
I have friends who almost never post and some who update when they ave washed their car. It's part of their personality. If they post stuff I don't want to see I just hide it.

If people were only Facebook friends with friends/family they really like then half the moaning about FB would disappear.

FreudiansSlipper Sun 08-Sep-13 10:03:07

and keep in touch using Skype

I do not put photos up of ds on fb but email them. Have lot of family abroad and 2 of my best friends Skype is great and far more personal

I just do not get the constant updates, I like to see others having a good time am interested is where they go but not what they have had for breakfast, lunch and dinner

TigerseyeMum Sun 08-Sep-13 10:03:53

Bump ties means numpties, in case you weren't sure of that particular autocorrect!

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 08-Sep-13 10:09:44

I only have close friends and family (and a few Mumsneters on FB).
I never understand all the moaning about it, why are they on your facebook anyway, just get rid and keep in touch with those you genuinely are interested in.
I also love holiday pics.

BoozyBear Sun 08-Sep-13 10:16:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BIWI Sun 08-Sep-13 10:20:37

So FreudiansSlipper - you use Facebook differently from other people. <shrugs> How is it hard to understand that people might be different from you and want to do it differently?

mrsjay Sun 08-Sep-13 10:23:23

I dont have skype and I dont have a fancy phone so I update from my mobile on holiday we all keep saying this it is their facebook they can post what they want, it is what we do with the updates and pictures that seems to be the problem hide them delete them if it is so tiresome

FreudiansSlipper Sun 08-Sep-13 10:34:13

When have I said that people should only use it the way I do

I just happen to think contstant fb updates are tedious and somewhat self absorbed. Why would I think others are interested in what I had on my toast for breakfast

Pagwatch Sun 08-Sep-13 10:43:27

I know you haven't said that Freudian.

I just think you are saying
' I use fb like this which is good. Anyone who uses it differently is self absorbed'
Which I don't think is true at all.
Some people might be self absorbed but I don't think updating fb regularly is necessarily a manifestation of that.

TwoMuchTwoYoung Sun 08-Sep-13 10:46:08

Just imagine facebook without any updates at all.
If you have a facebook account I presume you use and like facebook.
If no one updated it wouldn't exist.

dirtyface Sun 08-Sep-13 10:54:22

yanbu but you will probs be told you are being U

although having said that dh went on holiday to new york recently and did quite a few updates taking pics and tagging us at places, but the main reason was i wanted to do it so i could look back at it and see where i had been. but a bit of me wanted all my friends to see i had been at all these cool places blush

LittlePocket Sun 08-Sep-13 11:05:57

I do wonder if my sister enjoys her holidays when she goes away (here or abroad). She constantly updates her facebook and puts up photos while away. She went abroad in May and no word of a lie she phoned me every single day of the week she was away.

FreudiansSlipper Sun 08-Sep-13 11:08:36

i hardly use mine but it is a good way to keep in touch

i do not think that those that use it differently are wrong blah blah it is the constant updates that is what this discussion is about

like i said my young cousins are like this i would have been at 18 all that was interesting was myself and my friends and what we were up to

fb is a great way to get information across to people, its a great media outlet but like the internet on the whole it has it annoyances, lack of privacy (everything is monitored something i am very uncomfortable with) but that is a different discussion

Bunbaker Sun 08-Sep-13 11:19:26

When we were on holiday the only place DD could go on Facebook was in the hotel reception and bar (free Wi-Fi). There was no way she wanted to spend all holiday sat there because we were doing exciting things during the day. She would FB and Skype her friends in the evening after dinner.

I must admit that I would find someone who has to brag spend a lot of time telling everyone about her holiday several times a day rather boring. I guess I find constant boasting rather distasteful and a rather unattractive trait in someone anyway.

Hulababy Sun 08-Sep-13 11:47:25

I have a big camera which is always out on days trips and holidays. I love photography ad take hundreds. I am not disengaged whilst using my camera. It's just what I enjoy doing.

So it's no different to those using their phone as a camera either. And on iPhones etc to send a photo to FB is a simple one click process taking approx 1 second extra.

Bunbaker Sun 08-Sep-13 11:52:16

So these people run up a huge bill using data while abroad? Why?

Pagwatch Sun 08-Sep-13 12:02:05

My hotel had free wifi. No huge bill.

BIWI Sun 08-Sep-13 12:02:10

If you're somewhere with WIFI, then no.

And even if you're using 3G, in European countries then there is a daily limit on how much you can be billed (with 02 I think it's £1.99). If you want more data, you can buy more.

Outside European countries I think it's more tricky, but I don't know as I haven't been outside Europe/to somewhere without free WIFI for a while!

Pagwatch Sun 08-Sep-13 12:04:18

When DS2 had to be in the shade I sat in the beach bar or on the villa deck with my iPad and some books. And a drink. A big drink. I should have taken a picture grin

Snoopingforsoup Sun 08-Sep-13 12:06:48

I love seeing holiday snaps on FB.

Why would you be on FB if other people's happiness bothers you so much?

You can hide the posts or if you really don't like the woman, which sounds more the case, then unfriend her to make your newsfeed a little easier.

YABU. What should FB be used for? How often should a woman horizontal on a sunlounger be allowed to post? Perhaps you could issue user guidelines to all your friends?

BIWI Sun 08-Sep-13 12:06:51

grin

SubliminalMassaging Sun 08-Sep-13 12:25:46

Pagwatch

I post on Facebook about once a fortnight. I have a small number of FB friends.
I have friends who almost never post and some who update when they ave washed their car.

That's exactly like me. I am slightly baffled by the car washers but I still like them. I wouldn't have friended them on FB if I didn't.

Pagwatch Sun 08-Sep-13 12:27:39

grin

Apparently white wheel trims are an unwise choice.

weeblueberry Sun 08-Sep-13 12:33:08

Don't put baby photos up - you might upset people without babies.
Don't put status updates up when it's not exciting - people will think you're boring
Don't put status updates up when it's exciting - people will think you're bragging
Don't put more than one status up a day - people will think you're obsessed with facebook
Don't share anything you think is funny/insightful/clever - people will think you're like farming
Don't put anything up thats in anyway personal - people will think you're attention seeking

Jesus....is there anything left?

Also OP is she in Disney World? She's probably updating everytime she's waiting in a massive queue. grin

Snoopingforsoup Sun 08-Sep-13 12:43:12

grin Weeblueberry

Snoopingforsoup Sun 08-Sep-13 12:46:15

It makes me laugh the amount of lurkers clearly on there winding themselves into a froth, all the while pretending they're not using FB!

They never miss a birthday, they're still liking stuff and then they're obvs diverting here to rant anon!

Love the online world grin

LeGavrOrf Sun 08-Sep-13 13:07:37

My daughter is one of those kids who posts everything.

Yesterday at lunch she had a coke float. Hence a photo of said coke float had to go on Instagram. hmm I don't get it but it took less than a minute to do so is hardly antisocial.

I agree with others that posting shite on Facebook and the rest of when on holiday is no different than writing postcards. But is probably a lot more interesting to read.

Blondeshavemorefun Sun 08-Sep-13 14:25:43

you would hate me then grin

i often post on fb when away, takes literally few seconds to post a pic/say on the beach in the sun etc sure i drove my friends mad

if you dont want to see her status, limit her in newsfeed or delete her

cardibach Sun 08-Sep-13 16:16:57

I put loads of pics on instagram and did several fb updates on my holiday this year as I'd taken another person's child with me (as well as my own, obviously) and it was a free way to let her parents know where we were/what she was up to.
I like seeing holiday pics on fb. I'm happy people are enjoying themselves and it saves looking at every one with them when they get back!

kaosak Sun 08-Sep-13 16:47:43

I love everybody's photos, miserable buggers who moan about it. It's not as though it takes more than a nanosecond to flip over them if you don't want to look.

Like Hulababy, I love taking photos, I take my big SLR with me to most places and will upload later in the day. Most of them obviously don't make it on to FB but if I go to say Sissinghurst or somewhere I will put up a photo album of boring lovely photos of flowers. Hardly going to kill anyone to skip over them is it?

As someone else said upthread, FB wouldn't exist if people didn't put random stuff up and we all have different interests so it will be varied.

PartyFops Sun 08-Sep-13 21:06:13

It's not the photos so much as the "oh well I shall just have to sit here and drink my piña colada". And then " Such a hard life" together with a selfie by the pool.

I love how some people take these Aibu threads so seriously grin.

Snoopingforsoup Sun 08-Sep-13 21:38:04

PartyFops, post your comments on your profile then send me a friend request please.

PartyFops Sun 08-Sep-13 21:51:10

A perfect example snooping such passive aggression.

Do people really think that when they post a thread like this that they are really angry and not just up for a bit of discussion and some banter.

ShakeAndVac Sun 08-Sep-13 23:30:22

If you've got a swanky phone that you know, does stuff, (I don't, mine doesn't even connect to the internet but DH does) seriously it takes literally SECONDS to update your status.
So if she's updating her status while supping pina coladas on the beach and wiggling her toes in the sunshine under the shade of a waving palm tree, then so what?
It's not her fault you feel put out/jealous/ whatever when seeing said status.
Facebook is a life sharing tool. Puts you in contact with others, and lets them see what's going on in your life at that moment in time.
If she's in Club el Paradiso then that's what she's doing now and sharing it.
If you don't like her updates, hide her.

PaulSmenis Sun 08-Sep-13 23:38:31

Don't you know people who say to put your holiday snaps on Facebook so they can have a look though?

I like having a nose at what people are up to.

ShakeAndVac Mon 09-Sep-13 00:35:18

I like having a nose at what people are up to.

Me too. grin I don't even care if people post their Sunday lunch or their swanky omelette they had their breakfast up there.
The more pointless updates the better. I'm a nosey cah and proud grin
Although if you're going to post Jeremy Kyle passive aggressive slanging matches up there, at least give me time to run our for popcorn before you kick off and then delete it. grin

mrsjay Mon 09-Sep-13 08:43:19

I love looking at photies of holidays I have a friend who is in Africa atm I could never ever afford Africa I am really--jealous--enjoying seeing her updates and a few photos .

Trills Mon 09-Sep-13 08:46:43

15 in a day is not exactly "every 10 minutes" is it? By day 3 or 4 she'll have run out of new things to take pictures of (here's DS in the pool, here's DD with a giant icecream, etc)

I'm sure some posters had parents who took lots of pictures on holiday in the 60s and 70s. Were they not enjoying their holiday?

They just didn't have the option of the instant gratification of being able to see how the picture had turned out, show it to someone and have the say "well jel".

everlong Mon 09-Sep-13 08:54:45

I did loads of mnetting on holiday this year. Free wifi in the house we were staying in, sat on the day bed with a G and T looking out at the pacific chatting with you lot!
What's not to like?

Didn't do much face booking though only a few pictures.

pictish Mon 09-Sep-13 09:02:52

Oh good God - I get so weary of the moaning about facebook.

"Don't put baby photos up - you might upset people without babies.
Don't put status updates up when it's not exciting - people will think you're boring
Don't put status updates up when it's exciting - people will think you're bragging
Don't put more than one status up a day - people will think you're obsessed with facebook
Don't share anything you think is funny/insightful/clever - people will think you're like farming
Don't put anything up thats in anyway personal - people will think you're attention seeking"

Exactly!
It is ridiculous the way people whinge on about facebook. It is an instant social network. That is what it is. It is for sharing whatever is going on in your life NOW. If you cannot handle other people's posts on there without being jealous and resentful scornful, then facebook is not for you ok?

Of course, I have the odd person who is a bit tedious on there, but I can scroll past and not give a shiney shit, so that's what I do. I am not forced to partake.
And this idea that some peeps comfort themselves with - that if someone is updating from holiday or a night out, they can't really be having a good time....sorry to disillusion you, but you can have fun AND share it on social media in the blink of an eye these days.

If facebook makes you feel sour, that's your problem. Don't make it anyone else's.

mrsjay Mon 09-Sep-13 09:02:55

yes you did ever were you bored dearie were you not enjoying your lovely sunny holiday you poor love grin

PaulSmenis Mon 09-Sep-13 09:07:47

As I'm only friends with people on F/book who I actually like, it's nice to see holiday snaps, see pictures of their dinner and know what they're up to. Sometimes I feel a bit envy, but never in a bitter or unhealthy way.

pictish Mon 09-Sep-13 09:12:09

I'm saying all that mind you, and I have never posted from holiday or on a night out. This is because I can't be bothered fiddling with my phone.

mrsjay Mon 09-Sep-13 09:14:12

oh yes I get envious but not in that way of who do they think they are way, My friend went away spain I think and her room wasn't right so they got an upgrade to a room with an jacuzi and seaviews i am sure I choked on my envy grin

Bumpotato Mon 09-Sep-13 09:17:02

We holidayed in Scotland (we live in Scotland too). I posted lots of pictures as we did loads every day and shock, horror, the weather was fabulous the whole fortnight. I've trailed my kids away most years on foreign holidays and off to Disneyland Paris then Orlando when they were a bit older....and they say their last holiday was their best yet. I wanted to share on my FB. A couple of pals asked me on FB to keep the pics coming, so I hope I wasn't getting on anyone's tits. If I was there's always the hide button.

kaosak Mon 09-Sep-13 10:06:50

Bumpotato I would have loved your photos! I just love seeing my friend's on holiday, I go off into a little daydream then which is delicious!

everlong Mon 09-Sep-13 10:11:54

grin mrsjay I had every intention of cracking my MN habit on that holiday, until I got there and it was free sodding wifi. All too easy then to long on!

mrsjay Mon 09-Sep-13 10:14:08

I remember your free wifi you were very excited about it grin

Snoopingforsoup Mon 09-Sep-13 18:06:24

PartyFops As you're venting your contempt here, I'd say you are actually the one being passive aggressive.

My comment was a direct point. You're complaining in the wrong place, do it on FB where people will know just how you feel about their posts.

Or hide the offenders.

shockers Mon 09-Sep-13 18:16:33

In the past, people would have shared with postcards!

everlong Mon 09-Sep-13 18:29:41

Doesn't take much blush

AmpullaOfVater Mon 09-Sep-13 19:56:00

I don't get it either, OP. I have never felt the need to involve my FB friends in my holidays. If anyone cares I will send them pictures via email. But no one has ever asked!

One of the best things about holiday is taking a break from technology. I don't login to FB or send a single email. Bliss. I do on the other hand send LOTS of boasty postcards!

makemineamalibuandpineapple Mon 09-Sep-13 20:44:09

Also, the ones that say "x is having a fab time at the pub with y". Well if it's that great then how have you got time post boast about it.

Trills Mon 09-Sep-13 20:55:29

You are aware that it's been YEARS since statuses started with "Name is..."?

Are you complaining about something that you haven't seen for years, or do your friends actually write their own names at the beginning of their updates?

kaosak Tue 10-Sep-13 09:18:00

makemineamalibue -

BECAUSE IT ONLY TAKES F*** SECONDS TO UPDATE ON YOUR PHONE FGS!!!!!!!!!!!!

omg why does this wind me up so much

and breathe

mrsjay Tue 10-Sep-13 09:19:17

Doesn't take much

grin

kaosak Tue 10-Sep-13 10:13:41

grin

my blood pressure has returned to normal - for now...!

mignonette Tue 10-Sep-13 10:17:30

I have tried telling friends and my stepchildren that announcing your holiday plans right down to length of stay on FoolsBook etc is really stupid behaviour because If I was a burglar, I'd be monitoring them. You have no control over what other 'foolbook friends do with the information you post. It won't be long before insurance companies start refusing a pay out to those who have posted 'empty house' notifications online.

angelos02 Tue 10-Sep-13 10:36:42

I'm not of Facebook. Too busy living and enjoying my life.

mignonette Tue 10-Sep-13 10:39:20

I'm not either. And I don't allow my photograph to be put on there. My children know not to put any of me on. It hasn't hampered my social, business or private life in any way either.

TheUglyFuckling Tue 10-Sep-13 10:54:34

With smart phones uploading a photo and a one line message onto FaceBook takes about 5 seconds. If you upload 20 photos and messages a day that's a grand total of 100 seconds of your time per day, so just a bit over 3 minutes.

Assuming you are out and about for 16 hours a day on your holiday, that's roughly 960 minutes per day. So some people are spending up to 3-4 minutes out of the 960 minutes of their whole day using Facebook. So really they're spending less than 5% of their whole entire day on FB. What a disgrace.

The fucking sad, sad bastards. They really need to get a fucking life and stop enjoying themselves so much.

Their time could be spent so much more gainfully employed by bitching about their so called friends on Mumsnet, for instance wink

TheUglyFuckling Tue 10-Sep-13 11:00:17

and while I don't use fb much, I happen to actually like my friends and so am pleased they're enjoying themselves on holiday. I don't tend to be friends with people who I find very annoying and who I think would be deliberately boasty twats.

And I actually much prefer to think they are genuinely enjoying their holiday and would be upset if I felt they weren't. And were trying instead to disguise their unhappiness by an overkill of 'This is amazing, this is great, we're having an amzing and great time all the time.'

I certainly wouldn't be gloating and ill wishing them and persuading myself that all their photos and updates actually concealed a hidden misery.

Because I'm not that type of sad fucker.

kaosak Tue 10-Sep-13 12:21:16

I'm with you TheUglyFuckling.

I knew someone would start spouting all that crap about burglars and empty houses.

ARE YOU KNOWINGLY FRIENDS WITH BURGLARS THEN??!!!! AND DO YOU PUT YOUR ADDRESS ON FB??!!!!

I thought not.

You see there goes my blood pressure again over something that doesn't matter in the great scheme of things grin

breathes again....

Pagwatch Tue 10-Sep-13 12:35:47

My house isn't empty when I am on holiday.

TheUglyFuckling Tue 10-Sep-13 13:09:37

it's just very poorly disguised sour grapes.

Generally if you're a happy person in a fairly happy place in your life then other people's photos and updates of them having a good time on Facebook tend not to rile you much.

mignonette Tue 10-Sep-13 13:19:43

Yes Pag but plenty of people do leave their houses empty and broadcast that fact on foolsbook. I do think the insurance companies will get up on that soon.

mignonette Tue 10-Sep-13 13:23:44

Kaosok

As I said, you have no control over the information when it gets out there. And yes, if you do some research you will find some burglars who admit to using this information. You do not have to 'know' burgalrs for this information to swiftly become public domain. Every FB friend is friends w/ other people who are all friends with other people. Information cannot be kept to 'your' little group. Bit like an STD.

I'm not quite sure why taking these precautions and my suggesting them should make you so furious. It is simple common sense. Why broadcast on a forum you have no control over that your house is empty? It's hot brain surgery to see this as sensible caution.

mignonette Tue 10-Sep-13 13:25:56

Sorry posted too soon-

You don't need to put your address on FB for people to figure out where you live either.

BIWI Tue 10-Sep-13 13:34:57

Here's a thing. If you don't like Facebook, why bother using it?

And if you don't use Facebook, please stop slagging it off.

I never understand why people feel the need to criticise something they know next to nothing about hmm

It's the same every time there's a thread about Twitter as well.

You don't have to like or use every form of social media - there are plenty more to choose from!

mignonette Tue 10-Sep-13 13:39:48

I like looking at holiday photos and love the adventures my children go on.

However I think people are very complacent about personal and home security and thinking that because you do not 'know' any burglars or don't post your address, that makes you safe, demonstrates this.

Go speak to some forensic clients/prisoners and you'll see that FB is used to target empty houses. it has been implicated.

TheUglyFuckling Tue 10-Sep-13 13:45:42

Even if you do leave your house empty while on holiday, unless you have your actual address on FaceBook then what exactly is the fucking problem?

Unless you suspect your friends of being burglars? In which case they could easily turf your house over anytime you pop out for the evening.

DoJo Tue 10-Sep-13 13:58:43

Wow - the combination of people enjoying Facebook in different ways and people enjoying different types of holidays really brings out the antagonistic side of some people. It seems pretty simple to me - if you find Facebook annoying it's because your friends are annoying.

AmpullaOfVater Tue 10-Sep-13 14:21:02

"Even if you do leave your house empty while on holiday, unless you have your actual address on FaceBook then what exactly is the fucking problem?"

Goodness, you're aggressive! As mignonette explained, if you have, say 200 friends, and you shared a picture of your holiday and 10 of your friends 'liked' it, and each other those 10 friends have 200 friends, that means 600 people could see the post and know you're not home. If any of those people had been to your house, then they'd know where you lived. Or, they could just get your name and look you up on 192.com or another directory.

ziggiestardust Tue 10-Sep-13 14:34:01

If a burglar wants to break into your house that badly; they'll do it when you're out at work all day anyway.

I love seeing photos of people's holidays, I like seeing them check into places and then seeing what they think of it so I can try it myself, I like knowing what people are up to. If their status' annoyed me, or the frequency of them at least; I'd minimise them. Anyway, if you've been on Facebook recently you'll see that you can categorise friends according to their closeness to you; so close friend or acquaintance, and you can see more or less of people as you wish.

It's social media. You don't HAVE to like it, or 'get' it.

TheUglyFuckling Tue 10-Sep-13 16:29:33

But if these so called 'friends' or 'friends of friends' had been to your house before and were of a mind to burgle you then they could turf your house over at any time. Presumably they'd be vaguely aware of whether you worked or not?

They could confirm this by asking just a very few casual questions to find out when you're out of your house doing your normal routine. They wouldn't have to wait until you headed off for your annual holiday.

is the solution to just not have any friends at all because they might mention your holiday plans to others in passing. Others who might be aware of where you live. Or if they're not they could just 192.com your name.

AmpullaOfVater Tue 10-Sep-13 16:55:34

Well it's totally up to you what you put on social media, of course. But no use burying your head in the sand because it does happen!

One news story (of many) highlighting the problem.

TheUglyFuckling Tue 10-Sep-13 17:21:25

yes, I'm sure it might have happened via faceBook. Burglaries also happen when taxi drivers co ordinate with local burglars to let them know when they've picked up people and they leave an empty house. It also happens when burglars frequent airports to check out luggage labels. it also happens when innocent conversations are overheard. And 101 other occasions.

it's just very tiresome when people try and turn it into some sort of smug moral agenda and contentedly imply that they're too 'superior evolved' to use it.

mignonette Tue 10-Sep-13 17:27:05

Look at the houses trashed by parties after details were shared on FB...

Honestly there are some weirdo's on here. People who think that advising caution about posting information on FB automatically means that we begrudge our friends their holidays!

What concrete 'All or nothing' cognitive processes....grin. Warning about the very real risk of having your house identified as empty because thousands of people are made aware on FB that you have gone away (and it will translate as that many as Ampulla said) does not mean I am anti holiday photos! It may not be one of your casual FB acquaintances or real friends who burgles you, rather somebody who uses the grapevine to discover these things. And you are all being very very naive if you think it does not happen.

Yeeeesssss...Your house could be burgled while you are at work. Yeeesss, not going to work to prevent it would be overly cautious. But not publicising your empty house all over FB can be avoided. It is prudent to avoid making burglaries even easier.

And I for one would resent your insurance claim if you haven't been sensible.

mignonette Tue 10-Sep-13 17:27:33

Look at the houses trashed by parties after details were shared on FB...

Honestly there are some weirdo's on here. People who think that advising caution about posting information on FB automatically means that we begrudge our friends their holidays!

What concrete 'All or nothing' cognitive processes....grin. Warning about the very real risk of having your house identified as empty because thousands of people are made aware on FB that you have gone away (and it will translate as that many as Ampulla said) does not mean I am anti holiday photos! It may not be one of your casual FB acquaintances or real friends who burgles you, rather somebody who uses the grapevine to discover these things. And you are all being very very naive if you think it does not happen.

Yeeeesssss...Your house could be burgled while you are at work. Yeeesss, not going to work to prevent it would be overly cautious. But not publicising your empty house all over FB can be avoided. It is prudent to avoid making burglaries even easier.

And I for one would resent your insurance claim if you haven't been sensible.

mignonette Tue 10-Sep-13 17:27:34

Look at the houses trashed by parties after details were shared on FB...

Honestly there are some weirdo's on here. People who think that advising caution about posting information on FB automatically means that we begrudge our friends their holidays!

What concrete 'All or nothing' cognitive processes....grin. Warning about the very real risk of having your house identified as empty because thousands of people are made aware on FB that you have gone away (and it will translate as that many as Ampulla said) does not mean I am anti holiday photos! It may not be one of your casual FB acquaintances or real friends who burgles you, rather somebody who uses the grapevine to discover these things. And you are all being very very naive if you think it does not happen.

Yeeeesssss...Your house could be burgled while you are at work. Yeeesss, not going to work to prevent it would be overly cautious. But not publicising your empty house all over FB can be avoided. It is prudent to avoid making burglaries even easier.

And I for one would resent your insurance claim if you haven't been sensible.

mignonette Tue 10-Sep-13 17:27:35

Look at the houses trashed by parties after details were shared on FB...

Honestly there are some weirdo's on here. People who think that advising caution about posting information on FB automatically means that we begrudge our friends their holidays!

What concrete 'All or nothing' cognitive processes....grin. Warning about the very real risk of having your house identified as empty because thousands of people are made aware on FB that you have gone away (and it will translate as that many as Ampulla said) does not mean I am anti holiday photos! It may not be one of your casual FB acquaintances or real friends who burgles you, rather somebody who uses the grapevine to discover these things. And you are all being very very naive if you think it does not happen.

Yeeeesssss...Your house could be burgled while you are at work. Yeeesss, not going to work to prevent it would be overly cautious. But not publicising your empty house all over FB can be avoided. It is prudent to avoid making burglaries even easier.

And I for one would resent your insurance claim if you haven't been sensible.

mignonette Tue 10-Sep-13 17:28:14

What the heck is going on w/ MN? I only clicked once.

Hulababy Tue 10-Sep-13 17:35:28

I was burgled whilst I was actually in the house in bed. We even had a light on on the landing. Both cars on the drive. They burgled because they knew we were home - they wanted the keys to the car on the drive. Horrible - but made me realise that these people it doesn't matter what you do sometimes, they will just come and try and get what the one regardless.

exoticfruits Tue 10-Sep-13 17:38:52

I am only on FB to share photos with a few people. Those photos are generally when I am on holiday. It takes seconds with an iPad.
I really don't know why a burglar should assume the house is empty if you do it-they would get a shock at mine!
Since my settings are tight the only people in danger of trashing my house or burgling me would be my friends-and they wouldn't be friends if they looked at my status and used it to do either!!

AmpullaOfVater Tue 10-Sep-13 17:42:39

Yes of course burglaries happen all the time and for all different reasons. No one is saying that NOT posting a pic of you on the beach will prevent your house EVER being burglarised.

Just a little bit of common sense is all that's needed. Not sure where all the 'moral superiority' came into it! I am a keen user of Facebook, just aware of what I put on there, that's all. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

Hulababy Tue 10-Sep-13 17:47:31

If a friend of mine likes my post then their friends can still only see that one post afaik. My wall is restricted in what non friends see. i think even when they share a post, it is still only restricted to that one post/comment/photo.

If I don't know them, then they don't know where I live - unless the friend tells them i guess. I would hope my friends wouldn't hand out my address in that way, I trust them not to.

ziggiestardust Tue 10-Sep-13 17:57:10

hulababy I'm really sorry to hear about your experience.

I do think it's trotting out the same old stuff with saying your house might be burgled if you put photos on Facebook... Yeeees, but people get burgled (example above) when they're still at home, or out at work during the day, or out at Tesco, or in the back garden with their kids... I think it's a bit of a red herring.

As for the parties; I remember a house party getting mobbed when I was a teen because a girl texted her friends, who texted more friends, who texted more friends...

People getting burgled/house parties getting out of hand have always occurred (well, teens probably didnt hold house parties in the 1800's, but you catch my drift), regardless of social networking.

mignonette Tue 10-Sep-13 18:00:48

My techie friend showed me how to hack any secure FB site I chose as a demonstration of just how insecure these sites are. It took her thirteen minutes and me 25 (bit of a Troglodyte). That convinced me of the importance of not banking/doing anything secure online. She hacked into the FB pages of people you would think had maximum security then closed the page just to demonstrate how easy it is.

She also said that her knowledge is not that special and plenty of people can do it.

It is even easier to find somebodies address whether your friends keep it confidential or not. If we all think we have privacy and confidentiality we are deluded.

Not saying that your average Burglar can do this but trying to make the point that we are all too complacent. I have worked w/ enough forensic clients in DAS's to know that FB/Twitter is a resource they use.

Hulababy Tue 10-Sep-13 18:07:33

In that case we shouldn't ever put anything anywhere online, MN included.

I keep my home as secure as I can - even more so since last years burglary - we had a second attempt about a month later which, as they didn't get in hopefully means the new security is working. We have arms, our house is regularly checked on by a couple of different people, inc visitors into the house itself. Everything is marked with Smartwater and also UV pens.

I have decent security on my FB and other social media. I am not going to go to the level of hiding any trace of where I am, if I am out, who my child is, etc. I can't live like that - it's just not for me.

I guess it is a risk I chose to take. But we all take risks daily. We have to decide which are calculated enough for ourselves.

imnotmymum Tue 10-Sep-13 18:10:07

I do not do facebook but if I did then ...meh!

mignonette Tue 10-Sep-13 18:16:09

Well I think we need to take reasonable care and for me that means not publicising on an open forum (because FB is in reality) the fact that my house is going to be empty for say, two weeks.

Not going online at all- bit paranoid. Avoiding internet banking, yes i do because my friend has shown me hair raising problems w/ banking security and hacking will always outpace the systems because the system is reactive rather than proactive.

Hula I am very sorry to read of your burglary. That must be so awful. My son's Father's house was burgled whilst they were away and all his toys/electronics/PC stuff was taken (teenage boys living locally did it).

Opportunistic thieves are the biggest threat yes but burglars themselves confirm that they use social media to 'case' likely targets and give them additional assurance of not being disturbed. They also told me once that dogs being put in kennels whilst the owners are on holiday made their 'job' easier! We didn't user kennels so much until the last 20 years. Dogs would stay at home and be fed by neighbours etc.

exoticfruits Tue 10-Sep-13 18:39:22

The reality is that if you are not on line these days you become a second class citizen. You don't have to go on social media-that is choice- but you do need to book airlines, apply for jobs etc etc. Banks definitely want you on line-my elderly mother is always getting problems with her bank because she is not, and never will be, on line.

kaosak Tue 10-Sep-13 20:54:46

Sorry I didn't mean to shout earlier it just bugs me this stuff sometimes.

We were burgled a few years ago at 4am when we were all in bed, it's awful - two cars on the drive and a burglar alarm box on the wall and they still broke in - alarm went off and they legged it. I would much prefer them to break in when I was out please - although of course I wouldn't wish it on anyone or for it to happen again.

We have light timer switches, a much better burglar alarm and fab neighbours but I honestly think that a burglar would only have to watch the house for a couple of days to know if you are on holiday. I wouldn't lose any sleep over FB giving away my plans.

As for on-line banking etc there is no way I wouldn't embrace that on the off chance that someone might hack my account. I check it a couple of times a day and would notice immediately if anything was wrong. It happened on a credit card of ours a couple of years ago and the bank refunded the lot as could see we had notified them immediately and that it clearly wasn't us doing the unusual spending.

Dog is the best thing for deterring would be burglars the police told us - we have duly installed a dog and may get a dog and house sitter the next time we go away for any length of time so that I can upload my holiday pics with complete peace of mind grin!

Sorry for yelling again blush.

TheUglyFuckling Tue 10-Sep-13 21:00:57

I concede that fair enough it could perhaps make sense not to publicize your holiday photos to all and sundry.

My real annoyance isn't with the people citing more care with your personal security. It's with the sad sacks who clearly begrudge that their (presumably) friends are on holiday and look to be enjoying themselves and dare to spend a grand total of a few minutes per day uploading a few photos of themselves onto FB.

just be friggin honest and admit that you're annoyed just because you're envious.

kaosak Tue 10-Sep-13 21:02:32

Hear hear or is it here here I can never remember..

Trills Tue 10-Sep-13 21:08:15

if you have, say 200 friends, and you shared a picture of your holiday and 10 of your friends 'liked' it, and each other those 10 friends have 200 friends, that means 600 people could see the post and know you're not home.

Only if you have your security settings set so that friends of friends can see what you've posted.

If you tag your friends to boast (label the lobster in the tank at the restaurant as them?) then all of their friends can see it though.

If you post it on their wall, their friends can see it.

Hulababy Tue 10-Sep-13 21:15:10

Luckily when they did get in, the alarm went off and the ran. They didn't get the car keys or the car. Did grab keys - DH's house and work keys. Meant a pain getting all them changes (esp the 120+ work keys - eek!)

We will be far less of a target for the same type of burglar this weekend - DH's car is going and its being replaced. Different type of car and no longer on the hit list of cars in demand. Can't wait! Was only thing we weren't able to do at the time - had to wait til the lease was up.

kaosak Tue 10-Sep-13 21:23:58

My security settings are only friends and then I customise some of them.
Maybe never tagging is the answer and then you know only a tight few people can see them. I don't do the whole 4000 friends thing either.

AmpullaOfVater Tue 10-Sep-13 21:28:37

Trills - if anyone 'likes' your picture/post, this activity shows up on all their friends' side bars - the thing on the right. FB has not let us disable this feature.

mignonette Tue 10-Sep-13 22:13:02

Kao I can understand how traumatic being burgled was for you and that this topic in relation to burglaries might be a little triggering.

I am so sorry that something like that happened to you. flowers

kaosak Tue 10-Sep-13 23:38:54

Aw bless you that is so kind smile.

I still shouldn't have been so handy with the caps though!

Hulababy Wed 11-Sep-13 07:48:06

Yes it does show up on the acuity bar - but all they can see is that one post with its comments.

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