To ask what you give/or not in terms of pocket money?

(114 Posts)
Lilacroses Sat 07-Sep-13 19:22:34

Dd is nearly 11. When she is older we plan to give her a sort of allowance so that she can get used to managing money (treats, comics, milkshakes) but now, while she is still in primary school we are not sure what to give in terms of amount and wondered what you do. Also, do you give pocket money dependent upon chores/music practice etc?

phantomnamechanger Sat 07-Sep-13 19:36:19

DD 13 gets £3, I know some will say that's stingy but we pay her phone and buy all her clothes and toiletries as well as sweets a few times a week - so that's really her saving/spending money for hols, if she wants to go out to town with friends I give her money for a drink/cake or the cinema

The younger ones get £2
They all get an extra £5 spending money fro holiday souvenirs, and £20 to buy xmas gifts for each other and their friends

phantomnamechanger Sat 07-Sep-13 19:39:00

oh and the money is not linked to jobs or music practice which we expect them to do anyway, but occasionally if they volunteer to do something extra/generous - say hovering for me, they will get £1

money is docked for bad behaviour (rarely and only after several warnings that that will happen)

Lilacroses Sat 07-Sep-13 19:40:22

I don't think that's stingy phantomn, not at all. I think the £20 for xmas gifts is a really good idea too. Do they do chores?

Lilacroses Sat 07-Sep-13 19:41:44

sorry x posted! Yes, you are right about the music practice and chores.

Hulababy Sat 07-Sep-13 19:42:25

DD is 11y and receives £4 a week, plus a bit of change each week for school snacks/meet up with friend after school. It started at £1 a week aged 5y and goes up 50p on each birthday.

not linked to chores - we expect that as the norm just for being part of a family - but we do reserve the right to dock/stop pocket money for poor behaviour, though never actually had to.

Artandtravel Sat 07-Sep-13 19:45:34

My son who is nine gets £5.00 every Monday from a dear retired neighbour who spoils him with icecreams, magazines, and endless supplies of Actimel. I don't give him pocket money, but he often gets Lego or little toys or those plastic eggs with tiny toys inside. It seems enough for now.

NoComet Sat 07-Sep-13 19:46:31

£10 a month, but DD2 is a grade a forgetter of her purse and scrounger of mum. She is never broke.

Because she is never broke tying it to chores or music has never worked, she just doesn't care.

You need to be far meaner than I am on doling out extra trip and holiday spending money to stand a chance of a reward system working.

Lilacroses Sat 07-Sep-13 19:51:51

Thanks Hula and Art. Art, your neighbour is so sweet! My Dd gets treats like this from various relatives at points throughout the year, lucky girl!

sydlexic Sat 07-Sep-13 19:51:59

Age 12 DS gets £50 per month. He only buys something a couple of times a year, he will shop around for a good deal, he is a complete miser.

Calloh Sat 07-Sep-13 19:52:17

I read somewhere this idea (though it sounds expensive - may need to be adjusted) you have four pots and you give a pound per week per year of age.

Of this 10% has to go to charity, 30% is for immediate use on mags, cinema etc, 30% in short term savings that can be accessed every few months or so for games - that kind of thing and 30% long term savings. I know it sounds expensive and a faff but I thought it sounded great at reaching benefit of saving.

However I give £1.50 a week 5 yr old and 3 yr old and am going to try and work in an extra 50p bonus that can be earnt through good table manners (current thing).

PandaG Sat 07-Sep-13 19:52:57

£25 a month - DS 13 and now DD 11. is to fund trips to cinema, half of any birthday presents for friends, half of scout ativities over and above subs, contribution towards camps and trips if individual rather than family.

we buy all clothes, toiletries, pay for school stuff. It has been enough for DS so far, but he has only recently started to go out with his mates on a more regular basis. May have to increase it a bit this year.

Lilacroses Sat 07-Sep-13 19:54:13

That is sort of where I'm at StarBallBunny!

marriedinwhiteisback Sat 07-Sep-13 19:55:21

Mine are older before I'm flamed.

DD, 15 gets £20 pcm and all general exes found.

DS, 18 (uni in a few weeks) gets £100pcm (and has for the last year). He budgets for going out and the odd personal expenses.

I buy their clothes, pay for their phones and buy anything study related.

DS has regular work caddying but has to get up early for it but it tends to bring in 30 a shot, often more. DD has been helping a neighbour in the holidays who has a young baby and two others under 5 and is being offered babysitting regularly once or twice a week because of it at £6 per hour

Money sticks to dd; ds is a bigger spender. Their GPs give them £20 each whenever they see them, usually once a month

We are in london and they get far less than many of their contemporaries

Lilacroses Sat 07-Sep-13 19:58:28

That is really interesting Calloh, great for encouraging good behaviour with money for the future but I don't think I'm organised enough for that! I can't decide between giving a small amount but paying out for other treats or giving her a bit more but then saying she has to budget for treats (meet ups with a friend etc) herself. Sorry, I should say "we" , my dp is thinking about it too!

NoComet Sat 07-Sep-13 20:02:19

I'm thinking about upping it to £20, into a card account. Then cutting the amount of hand outs. DD1(15) gets £15 a month, but she has a much smaller friendship group who often meet at their houses.

DD2's wandering into town for lunch and a shop group are going to get expensive if DD2 doesn't learn to budget.

We certainly need an agreement that I'm not buying Xmas presents for vast numbers of school friends.

PMDD Sat 07-Sep-13 20:11:38

Since each of my children have turned 5, I have given them £1 a month for every year they are. That way the eldest child gets a bit more than the younger children. I make them save up for things they want like a toy etc.

When each of my children turn 13, I intend to give each one an allowance each month so they buy their own clothes and shoes as well as phone top up, make up etc. Probably around £40/month. However, I will buy their main winter coat, school uniform, school shoes, trainers and bag.

This is what my mum did for me, except at the time (30 years ago), I got £8 per month.

Rufus43 Sat 07-Sep-13 20:12:52

We do a pound per year of their age, it goes straight to their bank account until they start secondary school when we give them cash.

At 14 years old we give them £15 until they are 16 when the plan is to give them £20

It is not dependent on behaviour or chores

picnicbasketcase Sat 07-Sep-13 20:13:40

No pocket money. Money is given when they need it.

ModreB Sat 07-Sep-13 20:18:16

DS3 is 13 yo and he gets £10 per week. He gets extra for bus fair as he buses to and from school, but all treats, cinema unless we go as a family etc has to come out of this.

He is good at saving up, he saved £200 to take on holiday this summer for instance.

LegoDragon Sat 07-Sep-13 20:25:53

My eldest is 7, so younger. She gets the bre minimum of 50p a week and gets 25p per small chore (for larger chores, like hoovering or cleaning out the pet, she will get up to 80p). This means she usually gets £3 or so a week, but she earns most of that. Recently she went on a chores spree and did loads of stuff and we ended up giving her £5. However, our country is quite expensive and this is only a rough conversion from dollars.

Lilacroses Sat 07-Sep-13 20:30:20

We're thinking of doing a card account when she's older too StarBall. I bet it is really expensive living in London Married, we recently stayed in Brighton and it was amazing, we loved it and could easily lived there but all agreed that Dd would be so incredibly tempted by all the fantastic shops.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr Sat 07-Sep-13 20:32:22

DS 13 gets £5 per week paid directly into his bank account.

He also does chores, but this is not connected to his money given.

Dd and ds get £10 pw; they both have chores around the house/garden to do, and know that if these things aren't done, then their money is 'docked'.

Lilacroses Sat 07-Sep-13 20:38:33

Rufus, thanks for replying. is that per week or month? Is that for treats or everything?

glendatheveryexcitedwitch Sat 07-Sep-13 20:50:30

Ds 13 gets £30 per month plus his phone - this is for trips out with his mates, games and extra read expensive clothes!! His chores are to wash up daily after dinner, walk the dog after school and to whizz the Hoover round the front room after school. He hasn't had pocket money for past couple of months as he has to be nagged and mithered to do his chores. Have no idea how to get him to understand how easy life would be for him and us if he just got on and did it!!! Any ideas?? Am I doing it all wrong?

Lilacroses Sat 07-Sep-13 20:55:15

I know just how you feel Glenda, Dd had some chores and had to be reminded to do them constantly, she's a really easy, good girl but it drove us mad! That's why I thought of linking them to pocket money or some of the pocket money!

Whereisegg Sat 07-Sep-13 21:08:16

My dd is 10 and recently requested pocket money so I had the same dilemma.

She is expected to pitch in round the house but we came up with a list of extra jobs, each of which has a different amount allocated to it, but with a limit on how many times a week she can do them.

The maximum she can earn is £5 a week BUT the big thing with the list of extras (as explained clearly to her) is that I will not nag her to do these jobs, if she wants to do them and earn money she has to say "I'll get the washing in/wash up tonight/hoover".
Therefore it is completely up to her what she earns, so I never want to hear her moan that she doesn't have pocket money this week.

It seems to be working really well, and she ticks off jobs on her list using a different colour each week to make it easy to tot up her earnings.

marriedinwhiteisback Sat 07-Sep-13 21:10:12

lila dd has started window shopping around bond Street and went up about twice a week in the hols. It's the only place where the stuff is interesting evidently. Hoping it will spark a bit of ambition.

Wuxiapian Sat 07-Sep-13 21:13:19

DS, almost 15 get £15 a month. Considering upping it to £20.

I expect him to do a few household chores.

I buy his clothes/shoes/things for school. He buys his personal care items.

Wuxiapian Sat 07-Sep-13 21:14:02

Tut. I meant £15 a week: £60 a month.

Dd (15) - 50 plus 10 for phone, plus 50 ish for clothes. £100 for dance/activities

Writerwannabe83 Sat 07-Sep-13 21:19:27

I feel like I missed out as a child - I stopped getting pocket money when I was 14. I was then expected to get a paper round, which I did, and that was that.

An 18 year old getting pocket money? When I was 18 and a student at Uni whilst still living at home I was paying my parents £125 a month rent!

How times have changed grin

Romann Sat 07-Sep-13 21:23:04

Mine are 11, 9 and 7 and they don't get any pocket money.

They have never asked, though a few times DS1 asked to have financial reward when he got good marks at school. I said no, that I wasn't paying him to try hard at school! They don't go out independently yet though, and definitely don't have any material needs that aren't met.

Rufus43 Sat 07-Sep-13 21:52:05

lilacroses should have said, doh! That s per month. We pay for phone, clothes, books, school stuff everything really. We also save money for him in an account he can't get to. He quite often saves his birthday and Christmas money

That may change if and when he starts wanting more expensive things like branded clothes

Apparently all his friends get more pocket money, I have said if he can do me a spreadsheet of his class with what they get and what they have to pay for I will spreadsheet yet grin

Lilacroses Sat 07-Sep-13 22:51:37

Thanks for coming back Rufus. Isn't it "interesting" that ALL their friends have this or that! In reality I'm sure it's not like that at all! This has been such a helpful thread, it is really interesting to see how different people do things. I find MN absolutely invaluable for things like this. Thanks all.

Lilacroses Sat 07-Sep-13 22:54:34

That's funny Married!!!!

SoonToBeSix Sat 07-Sep-13 22:59:07

My dd gets £52 a month, but she has to earn it by doing chores.
She pays £10 for air cadets,saves £8 for driving lessons,pays her mobile bill, all non essential clothes shoes etc, her own hair products( because she is fussy) bus fares to town, lunch out, cinema etc.

SoonToBeSix Sat 07-Sep-13 22:59:16

She is 14

Lilacroses Sat 07-Sep-13 23:53:37

Your Dd sounds really organised SoonToBeSix! Dd is desperate to be in the air cadets!

missingmumxox Sun 08-Sep-13 03:53:28

My 8 year olds get £10 a week....I don't approve but this was the only way I could get DH to rain in hs spending every Sat, he would buy whatever they desired, unfortunity one was $200 logo, the other $4.99 backugan, so it was silly the minute we where back int he UK, I said pcket money £10 was the least Dh would agree to.
my boys still don't have an appriciation of money, even when I "loaned" expensive child, money to buy an on sale lego and charged him 10% intrest over the 5 weeks it took him to pay him back, him for moaning every week he had no pocket money and his non spending brother saying, he can have my money..
but they are 8, and I have warned them and DH when they get to 13 they will have an allowance like I did and that is tough! the mistake I made, but learned by, my mum made me go and work out what I need to live appart from dinner at night, breakfast, school uniform and hygine products (soap, toothpaste, shampoo, sanitry towels, but made it clear these products would be want she wanted to buy)
so i was very clever, so underware, school lunches, bus fares on sat, clothes, clubs, make-up, pictures, I calculated £40 a month, mum gave me £50 as she said I had under calculated....boy had I under calculated! I struggled for 2 years I found stratigies that got me through she never bailed me out, if I went hungry at school, she would just say, well you will get dinner? you wont starve? I got my first job at 16 she cut my allowance by half! I was pissed off but still better off!
but it did teach me to budget and not spend money I didn't have.

madbengal Sun 08-Sep-13 04:01:58

DD is 12 and her pocket money is paid every 4 weeks its not a set amount as she has to earn it with behaviour & Chores on a chart with extras given for 7 days excellent attitude or helping out more around the flat last week she earned £16 pounds and it goes into her bank account with world of warcraft and £10 topup deducted we pay for everything else for her. Last month she earned £46 and got £25 in her account

I am very aware of the need to associate money with earning it as my parents did for me

comingintomyown Sun 08-Sep-13 06:55:05

DS 16 and DD 14 each get a monthly allowance of £80 paid into a bank account.

I pay their phone bills to a maximum of £20 per month

I also cover all school stuff, haircuts, toiletries and a basic wardrobe.

It is tied to whether they help around the house and I expect them to do a fair bit for that. I have just changed this policy now they are older and told them I expect them to do stuff because they live here are old enough and I shouldnt be expected to run after them.

Over the 2 years we have had this arrangement there have been several months they have had the allowance docked.

It has worked exactly as I had hoped eg them realising how spending adds up, having to wait until a set time to get money once they have spent it - I dont do advances , how saving can mean money accumulates and how if you dont do anything you dont get anything .

Also it has meant I dont pay silly money for branded clothes as I will offer say £40 for a school bag and if DS wants one that costs more he pays the balance.

Sometimes when I read on here DC getting far lower amounts I think I am spoiling them but I do think life is expensive eg a train and cinema entrance would be well over £10 here so all in all I am happy with my system !

ernesttheBavarian Sun 08-Sep-13 07:53:37

Can someone help me get organised with a simple system formoney linked with earning it with multiple children of varying ages?

I really struggle to be consistent because I am forgetful and badly organised. I forget to give them money. I forget who has done what, I forget what we agreed, how to enforce etc.

Problem is, my kids never seem to want or need money. Honestly don't know if they are helping themselves sometimes?

Also where do you draw the line re treats. We have 4 dc ages 5, 9, 12 & 14. If buy my 5 year old an ice cream or some sweets, the older ones would find it unfair if I didn't buy them. Also, my 2nd dc will go out and just buy tons of sweets with any money he has. But he is crap at brushing his teeth, and he has ADHD and the sweets really exacerbate his symptoms. How do you manage what they spend it on?

I would like a system where they can be rewarded ( and docked) for chores but also for good behaviour /meeting targets eg using alarm clock and getting themselves up independently.

Is this achievable and manageable with kids of this age span?

Lilacroses Sun 08-Sep-13 09:24:18

Thanks all more great ideas! Dp and I were saying last night the thing is that if you give a very low amount you will end up constantly giving extra anyway...well assuming they are out and about.

Cominginto, what kinds of things do your kids do round the house?
Madbengal, how do you monitor the chores that your dd does each month.....I really like your system, the way it directly links to jobs is great!
Missing, I understand what you mean. DP is the first to say that we need to make dd appreciative of everything but then takes her out and buys her very expensive treats willy nilly! Luckily she is still a very appreciative girl though.

SoonToBeSix Sun 08-Sep-13 10:06:50

Lila yes she is smile I would definitely recommend air cadets my dd loves it.They teach them to fly gliders solo at 16 and so many opportunities like DOE.

Whereisegg Sun 08-Sep-13 10:15:41

Why will you end up giving extra?
I wouldn't, if she can't afford something this week, she has to wait til next week.
Isn't that a valuable life skill?

We cover all essentials by the way, so her money is just for her to treat herself or save as she sees fit.
If she spends all her money on chocolate on 'pay day' then sees a magazine she wants the next, tough!
Same as with my pay packet...

cathyandclaire Sun 08-Sep-13 10:37:02

DDs up to 16 got monthly allowance to cover cinema/ make-up/snacks out/extra clothes etc (ranging from £10-£35 depending on age.)
From 16 I also added in money for all presents, school lunches and all expenses (apart from basic clothes which DMIL kindly gives them) which works out at an eye-watering £120 BUT I hope this will teach budgeting,
It's early days so not sure if the post 16 policy works yet!

MarshaBrady Sun 08-Sep-13 10:41:51

Ds1 just started getting £2 a week, he's 8. He can spend it on what he wants or save it for something bigger.

baddriver Sun 08-Sep-13 10:45:25

My dd is 11 and gets £5 paid into her bank account each week which she can access after discussion with. The only times she has asked to spend it is on books.

She also gets £2 a week cash but I save it and give it to her at the start of each school holidays for things like milkshakes or whatever. But mostly she just saves it.

ds5 gets £3 a week paid into his account and £10 each school holidays.

The pocket money is not linked to chores or behaviour as they are expected to help and behave.

Lilacroses Sun 08-Sep-13 11:08:04

Whereisegg, sorry I only just saw your post, I really like the no nagging caveat, that is exactly what I want to achieve! A nag free solution that promotes helping out.

Soontobesix, I will tell her that, my dp is a pilot, she wasthe first female capt in her country of birth (sorry, shameless boast!) So Dd is very keen to impress she wants a beret!

Lilacroses Sun 08-Sep-13 11:15:55

When I say giving extra I mean we are discussing whether to give her a larger amount whereby she uses it for treats such as chocolate or comics as well as trips to the cinema with her friend, birthday presents for friends etc or whether we should just give her a small amount but pay for those other things.

SoonToBeSix Sun 08-Sep-13 16:16:12

Lila well done to your dp, my dd loves her beret and uniform, she calls it retro grin

Akray Sun 08-Sep-13 16:32:38

picnic I'm with you, mine get no pocket money ~ just given money as and when they need it and if we've any spare cash DH puts it in their piggy banks x

Whereisegg Sun 08-Sep-13 17:04:19

Regarding bigger things that are unexpected eg does dd want to come to the cinema tomorrow, rather than next week, I would suggest a response of "I will pay for your ticket, if you would like extra cash for popcorn etc, you will need to * insert bigger job than usual here *" I think.

Whereisegg Sun 08-Sep-13 17:08:59

-when I say rather than next week, I mean that you could chat to her about saving/budgeting this weeks money for a treat the next.

I certainly wouldn't expect my dd to pay for a ticket £5.50 here, and popcorn & drinks, prob £6, if she had been spending her money on chocs and mags weekly and would be happy to help out.
Not on a weekly basis, perhaps a couple of times through the long holidays, and if she came in from the first trip saying "that was great, x film is out in 2/3 weeks and we want to see that, then actually I think I would expect to her to contribute more through not spending all her money in the weeks between iyswim.

my older DS's get bus money to get to school - 70p per trip so £7 per week, plus £3 for DS1 and £2 for DS2. They can get to school by walking/cycling, but it is 2 miles uphill, so usually get the bus.

However, they get to keep any money saved by getting themselves there, so DS1 usually makes at least £3.50 a week by walking home. He is 14, so has £6.50 most weeks to pay for CD's from charity shops (his taste is v retro) snack and drinks when out with his friends, cinema occasionally,etc etc.

DS2 usually busses with his friends and prefers 'virtual' money - we just keep count on the calendar and he spends when he has a chunk - like buying a pet snake plus viv, heat mat and supply of food last year!

Oh, and should have said, they both have chores not linked to pocket money - plus extra ones in the holidays. We pay phone contracts for them both, buy all clothes shoes and toiletries, but if they want a more expensive brand they pay the difference (eg lynx shampoo/shower gel rather than supermarket brands that we have).

prettymess Sun 08-Sep-13 18:08:55

None. DD is 12 and DS is 7. If they need anything, they can ask for money. DD especially just squanders pocket money.

girliefriend Sun 08-Sep-13 18:39:37

My dd is 7yo and doesn't get pocket money but does get money (£1) if she gets 10 gold stars (for behaviour/ chores/ working hard at school etc)

Also she gets lots spent on her, for example went to a fun day at local park today and she had a go on the bouncy castle, pony ride, ice cream, face paint etc

I also give her a small amount of spending money if we go on holiday.

I never had any pocket money growing up and have survived grin

madbengal Sun 08-Sep-13 19:21:36

Lila thanks

We have a 3 part system where she gets money for behaviour on a scale Excellent is £1 a day, Good and Okay is 50p, poor and unexceptable is zero. If she gets a full week of excellent she gets a bonus of £3 making it £10

Daily Housekeeping basically her room and bed she gets nothing for as its expected but if its not done she loses £1 per X

She then can earn an extra £1 per task she completes whether asked to or not from washing up, hoovering, dusting, tidying the living room, feeding the cats, cleaning bathroom, helping or making a meal etc

new week started today and she put out the washing and helped OH with spag bol so she has earnt an extra £2 already and she loves it

It was hard at first as we had never done anything like this and trial and error came into it but this works and she understands its upto her

madbengal Sun 08-Sep-13 19:23:59

Should say we had to make our system about behaviour first as turned into demon spawn on puberty shock

Taffeta Sun 08-Sep-13 19:58:32

DS (9) gets £2 per week paid direct into his bank account, for which he has a card. We used to give him cash but he prefers the account as he saves and generally buys bigger items eg football trainers, games etc.

DD (7) doesn't get any yet. We will start hers when she's 8.

If we are out and they want a magazine, I will get them both one, but DS usually wants 2 so he buys one from his own money.Similarly if the one DD chooses is more expensive that's ok as she doesn't get pocket money.

TBH I've never really felt able to afford to give them pocket money on top of everything else ! Luckily they often get given money for birthday and achievements from DGPs and others.
And I do give dd something if she's going into town with friends or to buy a few pressies for friends and family at Christmas - she finds great bargains for everyone in the charity shops and is such a sweet gift buyer smile
DS more likely to save his up and buy a new game thing.
I think we operate more on a "if you need something then just ask" basis and it seems to work well enough for now.

Debs75 Sun 08-Sep-13 22:05:09

DD1 is 17 and at college so she gets £20 per week to go alongside her bursary of £50 a month. £130 per month sounds a huge amount but this is for everything, snacks, dinners, travel, going out, gifts for friends and family and her toiletries. I buy her clothes but that is it. I have told her she needs to budget better as when she goes to Uni next year it is highly likely she will only have this amount and have to include all her food.

DS 14 is disabled and doesn't spend money. We treat him and probably spend anything upto £10 per week which is what we gave DD1 at that age.

DD2 is 5 and she gets £1 per week in her money box which she can spend every so often. We save £15 per month in a CTF for her

DD3 is 3 and she also gets £1 per week as DD2. She has £70 in there as a) she has just had her birthday and b) she likes to liberate pennies from my purse and post them into her money box.

They don't get sweets whenever they like or magazines tat but we do treat them. I think 5 and 3 is way too early to teach them about saving, that will come later, maybe at 7-8ish

lljkk Sun 08-Sep-13 22:06:46

Gosh some of these are complicated.
There was a recent study that said that avg UK teen gets £6 or £7/week. But didn't say how much of that was tied to chores or behaviour. Or whether they had to pay for things like phone & bus fare out of it. So I am none the wiser what is truly normal.

My 11yo gets £11 each month, not tied to chores & rarely tied to behaviour. It's pure fun spending, I pay for nearly all types of extras. She can earn extra £ doing jobs (never does jobs).

Vickisuli Sun 08-Sep-13 22:36:31

My kids only get 20p a week from their grandma!!! (they are only 3,5 and 7) plus I give my eldest extra (up to a couple of quid) for doing any extra jobs eg washing car etc, and for doing her maths practice without making a fuss (this is extra maths not school work!)

Every few weeks they go to a toy shop near us and buy a little pocket money toy with their money. I wouldn't want to give them more than that as I know they would spend on nonsense, and it's still my money when it comes down to it. So I would rather buy them toys/treats that I think are good value when I see them.

I don't think they actually need any money - I pay for anything that they need, and for treats as and when I think they deserve them. It's more about understanding that things cost money, and so even to buy a little £2 toy they have to save up their pennies.

When they are older I will have to think more about how I deal with things like phones, clothes, shoes etc. At the moment they are happy to wear whatever I buy them (often from charity shops), and accept it if i say we can't buy something as it's too expensive. I think when they are old enough to actually feel the need to spend money, I would rather put a small amount of money in an account for them, strictly for extras/fun stuff, but still buy most of their stuff myself.

moanymum Sun 08-Sep-13 23:20:29

I've given mine a monthly allowance straight into their bank accounts since they were about 10. Started at £30 month, went up to £50 at 14- that's for all trips out etc and for anything other than necessary clothes (which we will buy). Son goes through his a lot quicker, he likes to spend, but if it's done, it's done. The fact that it's in the bank means it's less accessible, although they can use their debit card. Daughter is much more sensible, and puts a lot of hers into an ISA since she turned 16. I'm often tempted when son asks for train fare into town to give him it, but he won't learn if I do, so I think the harder line is worth it. Friends thought that was a lot until I asked what they gave their kids if they were going out and at £10 or more a time it soon adds up.

Lilacroses Sun 08-Sep-13 23:21:47

Thanks everyone, this has been such interesting reading. So many great ideas. I talked to dp today about giving Dd a basic rate of £10 a month into her account but the opportunity to earn more via jobs around the house (thank you madbengal and others!) . Then we talked to Dd about it and she was very excited. Whether she will do the extras I have no idea. We agreed that bedroom tidying, violin practice and homework was a given. We shall she how it goes, thanks again, this has been so useful.

Btw Soontobesix, that is uncanny! That is exactly what my Dd said about the air cadets she saw who were martialling at a county show recently!

Lilacroses Sun 08-Sep-13 23:24:45

I agree with you moanymum, we intend to start a sort of allowance in a year or two. I really want her to start learning to manage her money. I am amazed and impressed at your Dd putting money into an ISA! Brilliant!

bababababoom Sun 08-Sep-13 23:49:07

My ds (6) gets £3 a week, linked to jobs at home (putting away clothes when asked, sweeping the floor - I don't care how well he does it, just that he makes the effort, and he likes the responsibility). I started pocket money to give him an idea of having to save, and why we can't buy everything he wants, and he is getting the idea of working out change etc.

DiddyLady Sun 08-Sep-13 23:51:01

DS1 13 gets £10
DD1 12 gets £10
DD2 10 gets £5
DS 2 8 gets £3
DD 3 6 gets £3
All weekly. For that they all have to keep their rooms tidy, make beds bring washing down etc. They load and empty the dishwasher after meals and a few other chores as and when needed. I buy all clothes and toiletries. They have to save spending money for holidays, and days out.

5upernanny Sun 08-Sep-13 23:54:29

Busy household so if my 14 year old son does his share of pitching in (depending on his study timetable) he receives £10 weekly. This can be less if we agree he has not pitched in or has had to be told/ asked repeatedly or if I have had to do 'his tasks'.
He can also earn more doing extra chores without having to be prompted and we put £10 in savings which means he contributes to school trips, holiday spending, or larger purchases.
He also has to take care of his lunch money and if he over spends this he has to use his pocket money to top it up.
He seems to manage it well and save for items he wants to buy or heading out with friends to cinema etc.

Dd1 is only 8 and we still buy everything she needs plus paying for her to go to breakfast club at school to see her older friends she can't play with at playtime spoilt monkey but dp lets her keep change from the shop for sweets or gives her the change from his pockets for school tuck shop. It mounts up, I think once she is at high school we'll just give her a tenner at the weekend and be done with it!

Beastofburden Mon 09-Sep-13 02:03:03

Thinking about earnests post. It can be difficult to teach kids to do the various things they will need. Sometimes money is not going to be the right motivator for some of the kids.

I never remembered to give any of mine their pocket money. DS1 used to complain from time to time and present me with an invoice. but it was a highly mean amount, i think he got 10 p per year of life per week, in theory.

Somehow, not quite sure how, the older two have grown up with good money sense anyway. Ds1 is at Uni so not my problem any more financially. Dd is at fe college, so no student loan, and I give her £50 a month plus she can raid the fridge for a free packed lunch, though I am not buying specially for it.

PTFsWife Mon 09-Sep-13 06:14:09

Mine (9 and 8) are allowed up to £5 per week but that depends on how well they follow the house rules which include all the basics I find myself repeating daily:
Clean teeth
Tidy room
Turn lights off
No fighting
Put plate in dishwasher etc

At the end I ask them for their opinion as to how well they think they have done. We talk about days they were particularly helpful or unhelpful and together we agree an amount. This last week it was £2 each. They can spend it on what they like or save it.

Mimishimi Mon 09-Sep-13 07:38:25

DD 12 gets $12 a week plus $3 an hour for dance practise/chores/babysitting her younger brother (for runs to shop etc).

Hullygully Mon 09-Sep-13 09:12:52

I do exactly what comingintomyown does. Apart from docking (because I always forget)

Beastofburden Mon 09-Sep-13 09:46:47

There is one big reason for giving pocket money which many posters have mentioned, which is to teach money sense and budgeting.

The other reason is the one that I find more interesting -the idea that a good way to get our kids to behave unselfishly and responsibly is to use financial levers. So it's almost a free market approach to getting them to do their share of housework- there are financial benefits and penalties and we can see that they work well for some kids and not so much for others.

I'm not sure that people always do respond very efficiently to financial incentives- they forget, or the reward is too far distant from the immediate decision about behaviour, or the reward isn't enough, or there are other sources of money that mean that the reward/penalty looks a bit small. I am not really surprised that children behave the same way as adults, and don't always respond to it.

We had a different way to enforce the same behaviours- it was about fairness of workloads in the family, and we didn't use money in that way at all. So I only used pocket money to teach budgeting, if at all. My own preference was not to give any pocket money until they were old enough for it to mean something- so basically from sixth form: bank account for birthday/ christmas money from relatives who didn't know what to get them any more, plus a direct debit of £50 a month. My big two both pay their phone contracts out of their Christmas money, for instance.

no idea if this helps except to say I wouldn't worry too much if pocket money doesn't seem to be teaching them anything while they are still small. Mine have grown up fine with money.

pyrrah Mon 09-Sep-13 09:47:39

DH and I have been discussing this recently.

I'm very wary about too much pocket money - when I was at boarding school, it was the kids with hefty allowances that used to spend it on fags, bottles of vermouth and drugs!

DH thinks £1 for each year of age starting at age 5. Personally I feel that £5 a week is an awful lot for a 5 year-old considering that I buy her everything. Both DH and I were savers plus when we were kids there just wasn't the amount of 'stuff' available that there is now plus we didn't grow up in London.

DD is very materialistic and I think having to choose something to spend her money on rather than just wanting everything might be good for her. She's an only so it's easy to spoil her - DH and I were each one of 4 and it's much easier is some ways for parents to say no when they'd have to spend £X x 4 rather than just for one or to buy joint gifts.

When she's 11, I think I'd give her the equivalent of £10 a week plus a £10 top-up on a mobile phone per month. However I think £10 a week is excessive before then.

I'm suggesting £2 a week till she's 7 and then £5 a week till she starts secondary school. Plus extra for xmas presents.

I'm also happy to pay extra for good results at school and to dock money for bad behaviour.

Beastofburden Mon 09-Sep-13 09:50:11

blimey what on earth would a five year old do with £5 a week? shows my age, we did 10p a year, so she would have got 50p (if i'd remembered to give it).

Amiable Mon 09-Sep-13 13:03:34

DD (7) gets a basic £1 a week. however, this is linked to a specific list of 5 chores we have previously agreed with her: making her bed, tidying her desk, clearing away her meal plates, putting away clean clothes, tidying toys away. If she does these things without being asked she can double her money, but if she has to be asked repeatedly she is docked money (20p for each task) - harsh but works!

She also has very generous grandparents, so gets a lot more money during the year - we have an aqreement that if she needs something, ie new shoes we will pay for them but if she wants something specific, ie Lelli Kelli shoes, we will put in what we would normally spend and she makes up the difference from her own money. So for example, she got a pair of Lelli Kelli boots earlier this year - we paid £30, and she paid the rest. Hopefully she is learning about the link between earning & spending etc and the value of money.

wigglytoes Mon 09-Sep-13 13:07:50

DS is 4.5, he gets 5p per star he gets for good behaviour, and for doing specific things he's learning to do (at the moment he's learning to try new foods and get dressed all by himself without fuss).

He typically gets 3 or 4 stickers a day, so about £1.40 or so a week.

Hulababy Mon 09-Sep-13 13:07:51

It's always worked well for us to have increments on each birthday. Dd looks forward to the increment, it feels special o her.

salemsparklys Mon 09-Sep-13 13:16:55

DD1 just turned 14, DD2 is 10 and DS is 2, the girls get £20 per mth, we pay for their phone/standard clothes and their ponies. DD1 either buys posters/make up or stuff for her pony, DD2 is Moshi mad and spends it on that or craft stuff or the pony. DS gets a toy/book/dvd each month.
We buy friends birthday/xmas gifts, they do get a bit extra some weeks depending.

ThreeTomatoes Mon 09-Sep-13 13:27:32

I agree with beastofburden, I think children should learn to contribute to the housework etc etc just because they have to and are part of the household, not because they reap rewards. We don't do we? (other than having a nice clean tidy house, which not all kids care about!)

My reasons for giving pocket money:
So that dd has the freedom and control to spend it on what she likes (though i wouldn't let her spend it all on sweets/chocolate etc! -she has Friday sweets and that's it.)
Also so that she learns budgeting/money skills too.

It was £1 a week for quite some time but I'd upped it to £3 a week and just this month beginning to give it monthly instead (£20) so that she can decide straight away if there's something more expensive (like a book) that she wants to buy, and so that she can learn to plan ahead and budget rather than just have to wait for the £3 to build up - hoping this also stops the temptation to fritter it away on silly cheap tat. It is as much as £20 because it has to cover ANYTHING she wants - previously her token pocket money ended up being spent on little silly things, and I was still buying the odd extra thing for e.g. on gift shops during holidays etc, whereas now that £20 a month is for anything she wants (e.g. a book etc) other than shoes,clothes & xmas/bday presents. That's the intention anyway!! wink

Oh she's 10 btw.

lovesmellingthecoffee Mon 09-Sep-13 13:40:15

Both dcs have bank accounts and money is direct debited in every month.
They have all expenses paid eg phone, meals and necessary clothes (eg sensible shoes you can walk I will pay for, if you want 8" heels, get your own) plus the odd £10 for cinema etc to cover food out.
DD at 15 was getting £40 and got a Saturday job as soon as she was 16 to buy all the stuff she wanted.
DS at 15 gets £10 a month and doesn't seem to be able to spend it, but he is not interested in clothes, I have a sweet and crisp cupboard at home and a computer game will keep him going for weeks. I would raise his pocket money but he doesn't seem to need it.
Their money is not linked to chores or good behaviour, they get it whatever happens. I think all this docking money, and star chart business causes a lot of stress for all involved. not fair for the kid to behave all week then have a wobbly and lose the lot or have that hanging over your head all week. as with others I just expect good behaviour and respect as a norm. and they can rely on their parents to keep their end. And generally my kids are helpful and well behaved.

SarahStrattonIsBackForJustABit Mon 09-Sep-13 13:40:34

I used to do 50p per week per year, so a 12 yo would get £6pw.

Now it's just DD2 16 at home, I give her £50pcm. I pay for lots of other extras though:

£36 pcm mobile.
£60 pw for private tuition.
£10 LAMDA lessons.
£5 pw theatre group membership.

I realise I'm one of the very fortunate few who gets good maintenance for their child/ren. I do spend every penny of it on DD2 though, it pays for her tuition etc.

ivykaty44 Mon 09-Sep-13 14:15:44

dd2 has a building society account of her own and I pay in £18 per month and her grandfather ays in I think just over £20 and he pays for her phone which is £10 per month.

dd2 paid for herself to go to Alton towers in the summer with a friend by getting two for one offer and then her and the friend paid half each to get the one ticket.

I don't buy any clothes other than under wear and tights school uniform and school shoes. i don't give money for cinema trips etc that pocket money should buy

It is better going into an account as she hasn't got instant access to the money and therefore it doesn't just get spent and she can save for a trip or clothes.

DD has brought herself a pair of vans and another pair of fancy shoes - there isn't a battle as it is her money to spend how she wants.

I do pay for sports club and train fare to and fro

duckyfuzz Mon 09-Sep-13 14:25:28

DTDs are 10 in DEc, we give £2.50 a week cash and pay £10 a month into a savings account which they can access. Not related to chores etc. We give a bit extra for hols, they use their own to buy each other a Christmas present, don't currently buy for friends at Christmas but not doubt this will soon change!

MadeOfStarDust Mon 09-Sep-13 14:41:15

My DDs are 11 and 12 and get £5 a week each - they can spend it how they like - but do not get any extra for sweets/milkshakes etc when in town. They do get £10 paid on to their payg phone - anything extra comes from the allowance..

We pay for days out - like the cinema/swimming etc.

Again - we do not link to chores/ music practise etc as we expect a certain amount to be done anyhow...

soimpressed Mon 09-Sep-13 14:44:40

DS is 8 and gets 50p a week. He can get extra for doing chores and I've offered a pay rise if he does basic tasks like get his bag ready for school and keep his room tidy. It seems he doesn't need the money that badly!

When I was 13 my parents gave me extra pocket money but expected me to pay for everything except school uniform and school shoes. It was a disaster as I bought clothes and shoes in jumble sales, saved money by never eating lunch at school, stole money and hitchhiked everywhere. I spent all my pocket money going to see bands and buying music.

snowlie Mon 09-Sep-13 15:00:43

We give our dcs (10) £2 a week, it accumulates on a spreadsheet rather than as physical cash or in a bank account. They save all their money like this including birthday money etc. Mostly they use the money to buy things we won't buy them like extra sweets, toys, frivolous clothing or a taxi home when we are insisting on walking. hmm

They are really good at saving for things they want, we don't give money for chores as we feel that is their contribution to the household and learning to look after themselves, we will however deduct money for very poor behaviour.

GooseyLoosey Mon 09-Sep-13 15:12:57

The dcs (9 and 10) get £10pm in a Halifax account for which they can have a cash card. This was to get them used to Banking.

They also get £100per year in the same account which they are obliged to save.

Jux Mon 09-Sep-13 16:10:13

DD is 14 and we give £5 a week, not dependent upon chores. Her mobile is on contract, and because I have been a very long term customer it has been given a discount so costs me £5 a month for unlimited texts and more minutes than she is likely to ever use (while she's at school, anyway. I may have to review this in a year or so though!). I am considering opening a bank account and putting her pocket money in there once a month though, so she can learn to budget.

We do give her extra spending money when we are on holiday.

gingysmummy Mon 09-Sep-13 16:14:46

my ds age 7 gets £20 a month he has to earn it thought and buy all his toys, sweets, mags etc out of it,it may seem a lot but when i was calculation what he was getting for treats when we nipped to shops it works out a hell off a lot cheaper,plus it teaches him to save for e.g a game or holidays.He also treated me to a ice cream yesterday which was v lovely off it won't be going up for good few years

pokesandprodsforthelasttime Mon 09-Sep-13 16:39:43

My 6 year old gets £3 a week

78bunion Mon 09-Sep-13 16:41:46

It depends on the income level of the family too. What is mean in one family is not in another. Mine received from me £100 a week at university on top of fees paid and rent paid but that simply reflects what I happen to earn (which is a fair amount) and amounted to less than school fees had been.

shameaboutray Mon 09-Sep-13 16:58:01

DS is 14 and gets £30 a month, but that's partly as I receive DLA for him and a lot of extra tax credits, so it seems fair enough that he should get some of it directly. Plus he'll get his DLA in his name independently when he's 16 so he needs to learn to manage his own expenses. He rarely spends it, only on occasional sweets and games.

It's not linked to chores as he's gradually learning life skills through home and school. Typical reward schemes have never worked for him so it wouldn't make sense to link the two.

comingintomyown Mon 09-Sep-13 17:02:01

lilacroses the kinds of jobs are ironing, empty the dishwasher , hang out /put away washing, clean inside my car, clean the toilet, water the pots or anything else I cant face and think I can get away with !!!

I should add they never got any pocket money until they were 12 and 14 respectively but I have always tried to get them to bit and bobs that were age appropriate.

I went for a high amount because then we all know where we are and actually if you tot up a couple of quid for lunch in town, a trip to the cinema etc it adds up. In the holidays £80 isnt especially generous but in term time it is and I have pointed out they can save for time off school.

Now they are 14 and 16 respectively I am saying your allowance is separate from chores and you do those because thats the real world and I cant cope on my own not just to get money.

They have picked up lots of things like DS will say Why would I spend £5 at Kentucky for lunch when I can eat at home for free and DD who set up an Amazon account has discovered what we all know about too much Amazon browsing...

Bodicea Mon 09-Sep-13 17:08:16

We used to have a little chart with jobs on it that we ticked each day to earn our pocket money. Feed the dogs 10p, take them for a walk 30p, empty dishwasher 20p, Hoover the house 80p. I cant rember exactly how muh but it was something along this lines. Obviously it should be a bit more now due to inflation but I think it was good for me that I didn't just get handed money for nothing. If I wanted more money for something I did more jobs and my mum got a cleaner house! So everyone was a winner.

Ds is 4 and started school last week so we said he was now 'big enough for pocket money'. He gets £2 a week to spend on what he likes, so far he hasn't spent anything though.

MeAndMySpoon Mon 09-Sep-13 18:36:29

DS1 (5) gets £1 a week (when we remember!) and is very good at hoarding it in his money box and then buying something substantial every so often, like an Octonaut toy. Theoretically he gets 50p base rate and 50p as a bonus for doing certain things, like making his bed, getting his clothes on quickly and without moaning, carrying plates to the kitchen after meals, and so on. We've only had to call him on it a couple of times. I do buy him stuff a lot though - lego minifigures come from me rather than pocket money but that's because I have rather a sad thing about them. grin I also let him get about 75p's worth of pick'n'mix on Saturdays in addition to pocket money, but only if we're in town. I think it's helping him save and calculate money, but I think the model whereby 10% is for charity, 30% for savings etc is a lot better. All the same, I do balk at giving my 5 yo £5 a week...

Can't believe I'm the only one who's chuckling about phantom's DD who gets extra bucks if she'll hover for her grin

Wuldric Mon 09-Sep-13 20:20:41

DD (15) gets a phone contract (approx £30) and an allowance of £75. We pay for all hobbies, music lessons and clothes on top. She is currently angling for a clothes allowance but it ain't gonna happen.

DS (13) gets a phone contract (approx £30) and an allowance of £50. We also pay for his travel card (£50 a month). Again, we pay for all hobbies, music lessons and clothes on top.

None of the above is conditional upon doing chores. They are expected to help and nowadays they mostly do help. Without (much) yelling on my part.

cammocklass Mon 09-Sep-13 20:31:50

DD1 who is 16 gets £15 a month. We started this when she was 14 and it is paid into an account that she has a debit card for. She loves clothes etc as most teenagers do and has a regular weekly job to top the amount up. DD2 gets £2.50 a week and will also get £15 when she is 14. DS, 9 gets £1.50 and often fills the log basket. DD1 and DD2 have mobiles which I pay for-£10/month pay as you go. They do have to do regular jobs around the house and I will pay them for doing things like filling the log basket, cleaning the car. They all do jobs for their grandparents-waitressing at parties, painting garden benches etc which they are paid for, much more generously than I pay them.

whodunnit Mon 09-Sep-13 23:51:47

DD1 (15)gets £70 per month
DD2 (12) gets £2 per month
DD3 (7) gets 75p per week

we worked out the monthly pay for eldest two based on them buying birthday & xmas presents, and paying for their own aerobics classes plus a snack after, plus £3 and £5 per week on themselves. They babysit for me in return for phone credits, and can spend their money as they wish, but would have problems if they run out. Has not happened so far. Extra cash for jobs is available but never taken up. Works great for me inthat I pay out once per month not three times per week at every activity. If they blow their money and have none left fo presents, then they will have to make them or be imaginative. We shall see how that works at Christmas! I also like the fact that they get paid on my payday whatever day it falls on, and so sometimes it is a long month. Welcome to reality, DDs!

whodunnit Mon 09-Sep-13 23:52:37

Aagh DD2 gets £52 per month !! I am not so mean and unfair! I just have a dodgy keyboard!

minidipper Tue 10-Sep-13 08:30:27

DC got £3 a week at primary and that went up to £5 when starting secondary. Grandparents give them £2 when they see them which is about once a month and the tooth fairy forks out loads too.

They have to buy most of their magazines with that, though DH is a soft touch and endlessly treats them to expensive computer or music magazines that I'd make them save up for.

Really like the idea of giving them a Christmas budget. Will do that this year.

pyrrah Tue 10-Sep-13 10:21:01

beastofburden - totally agree... what the heck does a 5 year-old do with £5 a week!

Even more mad, one of DD's school friends got a mobile with monthly credit for her FOURTH birthday. I was a bit hmm about that idea (she doesn't have separated parents or anything like that.)

flipchart Tue 10-Sep-13 11:13:27

DS2 is 13 and he gets £20 a week. His older brother got the same and we have only just stopped now that he is working.
He started getting this amount at 12 and before tthat we didn't bother with pocket money for him, just gave him cash when he needed it.

We pay for his phone and subs to Ice hockey (plus kit, games etc!!) and scouts
He uses family toiletries.

We also pay for the extra holidays ( scouts trip to Switzerland for skiing etc)

I have expected the boys to do stuff around the house since they were toddlers!!!!

MRSJWRTWR Tue 10-Sep-13 11:25:01

DS1 (14) gets £30 per month paid into his bank account. He pays for his Xbox live subscription which is about £5 a month and then for all social activities and 'stuff' he wants. I still buy his clothes, toiletries, school bits and pieces etc. He also gets £5 per week cash from his Grandad. He is quite good with his money and saves up for things he really wants (he bought himself an electric remote control car last month for £180). Has never spent it all and asked for more.

DS2 (7) gets £2.50 per week from his Grandad which goes into his purse and sits and sits there accumulating until we are in town for one thing or another and he enjoys spending some of it. I don't give him pocket money but sometimes, very rarely, there is something he asks for like a Skylander figure he is after or a DVD he sees and I will get it for him.

stealthsquiggle Tue 10-Sep-13 13:52:30

My DC are 10 and 6. At the moment they both get £1 a week - no conditions, except that they need to remember to ask for it. They don't always remember grin.

It's basically for things we don't want to fund and that they don't need - so the acid test of "well if you really want xyz you can get it with your money" is applied. They never have money with them when we go out (DD's would burn a hole in her pocket if she did) so it's generally us paying and them paying us back as soon as we get home. DD is more inclined to spend than DS, though.

DH did pay DS for 3 days hard labour as a builder's mate last summer (DH was doing the demolition/clear out before builders started on our bathroom, so DS did work hard). He earned £50, and we gave it to him as a £50 note. If it had been in smaller denominations it would have been spent by now, but because it is a single £50 note any prospective purchase has to be weighed against giving that up - and so far nothing has passed that test smile

chocolate140 Sun 15-Sep-13 00:45:36

My 14 year old DD gets £30 a month to spend on trips out with friends, junk food, clothes (or whatever crap items teenagers like to buy) Once every season we go shopping and buy clothes, any other clothes she wants after that have to come out of her allowance. I pay for her phone contract.

She is still expected to keep her room fairly tidy, load/unload the dishwasher, clean up after herself. However if she were to clean the whole house properly she might get £30-40 extra. I expect that when she turns 15 she will receive maybe £45 a month.

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