To think kissing a family member on the lips isn't weird

(151 Posts)
DrinkFromMyFountain Sat 07-Sep-13 14:44:50

I kissed my sister on the lips today to say goodbye in front of my friend. My friend afterwards said to me that she found it weird and almost incestuous shock.

It was a peck not a full on snog!

I kiss ds like this as well (although he is only a baby)

GetStuffezd Sat 07-Sep-13 14:47:02

I find it weird, too. But then I grew up in a very non-kissy family.

GreetingsFrontBottom Sat 07-Sep-13 14:48:13

Yep, another one who finds it weird. Not judging you at all, it is just a bit too intimate for me.

Doyouthinktheysaurus Sat 07-Sep-13 14:49:07

I think it's a bit odd.

My FIL always used to try and kiss me on the lips, I'd turn my head. Not sure why, just feels a bit intimate.

TidyDancer Sat 07-Sep-13 14:49:42

Yes I find it weird too.

ThisWayForCrazy Sat 07-Sep-13 14:49:49

Totally normal here

I wouldn't dream of hugging my immediate family let alone kissing them, but we're those sort of people.

Give my DS kisses on the lips though!

minsmum Sat 07-Sep-13 14:50:45

I think its weird. My mil does this to my dh it makes me cringe a little bit

GetStuffezd Sat 07-Sep-13 14:51:03

My FIL always used to try and kiss me on the lips, I'd turn my head
God, yes. Why do people go in for the lip kiss? It makes me so uncomfortable!

Oceansurf Sat 07-Sep-13 14:51:05

Normal to me!

eurochick Sat 07-Sep-13 14:51:07

I'd find it very odd.

xalyssx Sat 07-Sep-13 14:51:17

As long as you go "a-mwah!" it's fine, but if it goes "om nom nom mmm nom mwah" then it's a bit odd

WaitMonkey Sat 07-Sep-13 14:51:22

I don't kiss anyone on the lips apart from dh and children. And I have read on here that some people don't even kiss their own children on the lips hmm . If I spotted sisters kissing on the lips, I probably would think it slightly strange, only because I think it's unusual. Your friend is odd to think it was incestuous though.

somersethouse Sat 07-Sep-13 14:52:07

normal here!

Silverfoxballs Sat 07-Sep-13 14:53:32

Yuck no, I am very stiff upper lip as is DH family, thank goodness.

SmallBee Sat 07-Sep-13 14:53:33

I find it weird, I don't even like cheek kisses really, but DH's family are Swiss so can't avoid it. I much prefer a hug.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sat 07-Sep-13 14:53:41

Normal here.

wonderingsoul Sat 07-Sep-13 14:54:05

i wouldnt judge but i find it werid to kiss familly, other then your child on the lips.
nothing "wrong" or incestuous about it ethier though.

i kiss my two boys on the lips sometimes though.

our close frinds children always gives hugs n kiss's goodbye and i always have the awkward turn of face quick thing lol.

bigkidsdidit Sat 07-Sep-13 14:54:25

My DH's family do this, DH to his dad and mum etc. I find it a bit odd but only because I didn't grow up that way. Now I kiss my toddler on the lips, it seems natural to me to do that

Elsiequadrille Sat 07-Sep-13 14:55:28

No, I wouldn't find it odd.

vaticancameo Sat 07-Sep-13 14:55:48

Normal here.

wonderingsoul Sat 07-Sep-13 14:55:59

i meant.. i have to turn my face..not them trying to get away for a kiss lol.

AmpullaOfVater Sat 07-Sep-13 14:59:54

I'd find it a bit odd but like some of the others I am from a very non kissy family.

Thurlow Sat 07-Sep-13 15:01:32

Normal. Still kiss my mum and dad on the lips.

Tee2072 Sat 07-Sep-13 15:03:14

Normal. I kiss my family on the lips.

zzzzz Sat 07-Sep-13 15:03:25

Lip kisses are only for Dh, everyone else gets cheek kisses.

I would freak out if any of my sisters kissed me on the lips eeeeeeeew! grin

StickEmUp Sat 07-Sep-13 15:04:16

Normal here. I even sometimes hold my DB's hand while out and about, at a glance one might assume he was my bf or something.

SkinnybitchWannabe Sat 07-Sep-13 15:04:33

Normal for me and my family as well.
Seems weird not tok

SkinnybitchWannabe Sat 07-Sep-13 15:04:46


digerd Sat 07-Sep-13 15:05:00

Never. I liked the shaking of hands in Germany. Kissing on the lips for DH and chubby cheeks of babies only.

nickelbabe Sat 07-Sep-13 15:05:30

of course it's not weird!

DioneTheDiabolist Sat 07-Sep-13 15:05:42

Normal here.

GreetingsFrontBottom Sat 07-Sep-13 15:07:41

A girl in my office had worked in our Morocco office. Apparently, everyone kisses everyone, all the time. "Good morning" <kissy> <kissy>. I don't think I could cope with this. I asked her if her boss kissed her. She said, "of course! Every morning."

Just.. yuk.

cardibach Sat 07-Sep-13 15:08:35

I would only kiss a partner on the lips (if I had one). Lip kissing always seems a bit sexual to me - probably my hang-up. I wouldn't judge anyone else, I don't think, but I don't think I've ever seen anyone do it except to their partner. It's a thing I discovered after joining MN, like washing towels after every shower.

MrsDeVere Sat 07-Sep-13 15:10:22

Not weird at all.

Not only do you kiss them on the lips you grab hold of their face and give it a jolly good squish while you do it grin

MinesAPintOfTea Sat 07-Sep-13 15:11:24

Kissing on the cheeks for everyone who isn't DH. Ok I also kiss the top of DS's head, his little button nose etc, but not his lips, it would just feel weird.

PollyPlummer Sat 07-Sep-13 15:12:44

Nah, it's only weird if you use toungues.

PollyPlummer Sat 07-Sep-13 15:13:48

I kiss my family and friends on the lips. Always do a mwaaaaah noise though.

I am kissy, my family are too. Think between siblings we probably don't, but my parents and grandparents to me, me to DH/ DS (4) are all lips or pretty close. DH won't kiss DS on lips since he was about 3.5 which I thought was a bit sad but they are very cuddly and kissy and nuzzly so it's not about not being tactile. I wouldn't kiss ILs anywhere but cheeks/cheek-to-cheek, but I don't interfere in where/how DS kisses them.

Far better to be tactile and learn to tone it down for other people's comfort than have to learn how to be demonstrative to prove something to a more tactile person (oh the many buttoned-up boyfriends I had...!)

nemno Sat 07-Sep-13 15:14:45

Not normal. I think lips are only for romantic-type kissing.

2old2beamum Sat 07-Sep-13 15:15:47

With my stepsisters if they kissed me on the lips I would watch out for the dagger in my back gringrin but I am being honest. They hate me!!
With DC's perhaps no, DH if he is lucky grin but we are VERY old

Pachacuti Sat 07-Sep-13 15:18:10

I kiss my mother on the lips sometimes, not my siblings -- but I wouldn't find it odd if other people did. I draw the line at inlaws, though, I think grin.

My DDs have a habit of sticking their tongues out and licking each other while kissing. They think it's hilarious (they are 5 and 2) but I hope they grow out of it. If not then give me your friend's details and I can ensure that she will find your and your sister's kiss far less disturbing...

quesadilla Sat 07-Sep-13 15:20:24

we didn't do it in my (very English) family and I wouldn't do it with anyone except DH and DD, but I know plenty of people who do and I wouldn't think its weird or be grossed out by it at all...

livinginwonderland Sat 07-Sep-13 15:20:27

I kiss my younger relatives (baby/toddler cousins) on the lips and I would kiss my kids on the lips, but not adult family (except DP).

LookingForwardToSalmon Sat 07-Sep-13 15:21:15

Hmmm not sure if I find it odd or not.

I hug and kiss my family on the cheeks, dd (baby) and dp only on the lips.

Saying that if anyone else tries to come in for a hug/ kiss ( I'm looking at you drunken FIL [HMM] ) THEN IT SERIOUSLY CREEPS ME OUT.

Saying it's incest in your case though is a bit ott.

AlfalfaMum Sat 07-Sep-13 15:21:34

Normal for close family members, my mum and my dc kiss me on the lips. I can't think now whether I kiss my Dsis on the lips, but don't think either of us would think it alarming or untoward grin

LookingForwardToSalmon Sat 07-Sep-13 15:21:49

Obviously should be hmm

yellowballoons Sat 07-Sep-13 15:23:07

I think it is weird. Not seen anyone do this. Perhaps it is a new thing that the young do?

Do you regularly sleep in the same bed as them as well?

Morgause Sat 07-Sep-13 15:23:50

Weird. We're a kissy family but not on the lips.

crazyhamsterbackatlast Sat 07-Sep-13 15:26:29

I find it odd , my Dp & his family are like this even with his 20yr old Dd
But my family can be classed as weird to coz we barely even hug

Zingy123 Sat 07-Sep-13 15:27:24

We are a kissy family but never on the lips. Seems weird to me to kiss anyone other than my DH on the lips.

DiseasesOfTheSheep Sat 07-Sep-13 15:28:54

I think it's weird and lip kissing should be purely with one's romantic partner. But each to their own...

A good firm handshake is how we do things in my family grin

Floggingmolly Sat 07-Sep-13 15:32:57

Dh and the kids only. Any of the wider family would be weird.

Normal here.

sazzle82 Sat 07-Sep-13 15:34:48

I kiss all my aunties, uncles and cousins on the cheek. Small children, neices and nephews on the lips. When I was a child I kissed the adults in the family on the lips. It's just how my family is, on my dad's side in particular. In fact, when we all see each other in Christmas day it takes bloody ages to leave as you have to go round everyone giving them a goodbye kiss. If more than one group is leaving at the same time you end up in a kind of queue system. It's bonkers, but it's how it's always been.

Funnily enough, the only family member I rarely, if ever, hug and kiss is my sister. However, if I did kiss her on the lips I would not consider it incestuous in any way. Very strange way to look at something.

CailinDana Sat 07-Sep-13 15:35:19

This is an interesting one for me because in before DS was born I would have said "weird" but once DS started volunteering kisses he would only kiss on the lips because that's what he'd seen DH and I doing. So I kiss my children and DH on the lips but I wouldn't dream of kissing anyone else in my family anywhere but on the cheek. I imagine DS and DD will kiss on the lips when DD is old enough for that as that's what they're used to.

everlong Sat 07-Sep-13 15:43:24

Maybe it isn't weird for you.

It sure is for me. YUK. No way would I be kissing anybody other ds aged 7 and DH on the lips. Not even my older boys. I they they'd agree with too.

sweetiepie1979 Sat 07-Sep-13 15:45:00

Normal here

Jan49 Sat 07-Sep-13 15:47:26

I would only kiss a partner on the lips, everyone else on the cheek.

LynetteScavo Sat 07-Sep-13 15:47:57

It's weird.

whois Sat 07-Sep-13 15:48:48

Normal here too

LynetteScavo Sat 07-Sep-13 15:49:15

If my Dsis kissed me on the lips I would do an elaborate spitty out thing, and wipe my mouth on my sleeve.

Pawprint Sat 07-Sep-13 15:52:50

Fine if you feel ok with it. My FIL had, in the past, tried to kiss me on the lips stupid fucking lech and I hated that.

squoosh Sat 07-Sep-13 15:54:06

I definitely haven't kissed my siblings or parents on the lips since I was about 3 years old.

We're more of a huggy family. Thank God.

CatsWearingTutus Sat 07-Sep-13 15:55:27

I find mothers kissing children on the lips very weird too but I think I'm in the minority on hat one? The other day I saw a mother kissing her daughter on the lips while they were both playing around and sticking out their tongues! That made me very uncomfortable but I suppose its harmless?

cocolepew Sat 07-Sep-13 15:57:29

We're not a kissy family, I'll kiss the DDs on the lips but that's it. MIL is always trying to kiss people, she still hasn't worked out that nobody wants to kiss her. I had to tell her to stop kissing me when I was first married, I don't like her and it freaked me out.

She went through a , shortlived, phase of trying to kiss DH on the lips until he told her to stop.

Lavenderhoney Sat 07-Sep-13 15:58:19

My dh family kiss each other on the cheeks for hello AND goodbye. I hate it as I come from a very non kissy touchy family.

One awful uncle always goes for my lips " haha its a joke" I told dh to tell him to stop as uncle ignores me. Dh told me " its his way he is trying to be funny"

Dh and I had a conversation about boundaries ( where i shouted a bit blush and now I just back away and nod primly at the unclesmile

Cupcake1985 Sat 07-Sep-13 15:58:36

Lips are only for DH and babies and small children. As children get older I think only lips for their parents but once out of primary school it should naturally fade out. My Mil tries to kiss DH on the lips and we both hate it. It's weird. When she tried to do it to me when we met it made me annoyed. Feels too intimate to presume its ok to do to people. But then everything she did used to annoy me.....

Babyroobs Sat 07-Sep-13 15:59:59

I find it odd too, not sure why but my parents never liked relatives kissing us on the lips because they reckoned that's where how my Dad caught the cold sore virus when he was a child. I hate to see kids and babies being kissed on the lips, just doesn't feel right at all.

MyNameIsLola Sat 07-Sep-13 16:01:33

Not weird at all, I kiss DH, my DCs, nieces/nephews and my sister on the lips.

Weirdly, my mother isn't at all affectionate so I think I'm demonstrative because of my grandparents because I certainly wasn't raised in a kissy kissy household (or even a huggy one).

I can understand why people find kissing adults a bit odd, some people aren't into physical contact, but your own children?!

Bearandcub Sat 07-Sep-13 16:02:11

My children, my partner and babies/toddlers. That's it.

Otherwise, kiss on the forehead or cheeks.

everlong Sat 07-Sep-13 16:07:58

We are huggers.

Face well away from any wet elderly lips ewwwwwwwww but a nice big hug.

And that's how will always be.

Pachacuti Sat 07-Sep-13 16:09:44

I find mothers kissing children on the lips very weird too

DD2 grabs my face between both hands firmly, squishes so that my lips pout out, and then lunges in for a kiss. I don't get much say about the location...

fieldfare Sat 07-Sep-13 16:12:15

Not weird at all, I'm from a very huggy, cuddly and Kissy family. Dh's family are Italian and they're very demonstrative too, always kisses and little tentative hugs when I first got together with dh. Now they take after me and give you a full on cuddle as well.
I'd not seen some of my friends from the kids school all summer, so got quite a few hugs and kisses on the cheek on Thursday. Being demonstrative is totally normal for us.

Salmotrutta Sat 07-Sep-13 16:12:48

I'd be uncomfortable with kissing anyone but DH on the lips.

I hug my DC because we aren't kissy types but I did kiss the tops of their heads or cheeks when they were children.

Same with the DGC.

And frankly, since toddlers can be a bit snottery it's maybe safer to restrict kissing to head tops in their case! grin

PresidentServalan Sat 07-Sep-13 16:20:31

It would look weird to me too! I am close to my parents but we are not a tactile family. I don't kiss anyone and I hate being touched. I work with women who are quite tactile (hand on someone's shoulder, hugging etc) and I HATE it! Even when people touch me in shops it makes me stabby!

justmuddlingthroughit Sat 07-Sep-13 16:27:30

I'm another one who finds lip-kissing with anyone other than your partner a bit odd, but am fully accepting that not everyone is like that! I'm from a very non-demonstrative family indeed. My fil tends to lip kiss which I really don't like, and have to turn my head to get the cheek instead; it just feels far too intimate.

Szeli Sat 07-Sep-13 16:31:12

I think I kiss my sister on the smackers but I actually don't know - which would suggest I don't find it odd.

Don't kiss my brothers on the lips tho and I would find that odd. No idea why the double standard!

atrcts Sat 07-Sep-13 16:33:41

I don't like it for adults, as lips kissing to me seems sexual and not platonic. It's different for snotty little kids though, they're just so innocently different - In the same way I can comfortably share a bath with my son but not my father in law, for example!

Burmobasher Sat 07-Sep-13 16:38:59

I find it a bit icky. Cheek fine, lips no. Not sure why.

itsallshitandmoreshit Sat 07-Sep-13 16:44:49

I think it's normal. I personally find it strange but married a normal bloke who does this with his family members. They all kiss on the lips and for a few seconds more than's comfortable.

The first few kisses with his dad were excruciating. Also watching my own DH kiss my mum and sister on the lips was weird too initially.

chocoholic05 Sat 07-Sep-13 16:45:00

Not odd at all! I kiss my brother mum and dad and grandad and dh and both my little boys on the lips. However if my fil tries to kiss me on the lips I always turn my head!

candycoatedwaterdrops Sat 07-Sep-13 16:54:57

I have to admit I do get a bit upset when people on here call it odd or weird, I am close to my family and adore them. There's nothing weird about how we express our closeness and I accept that it's not for everyone.

Dillydollydaydream Sat 07-Sep-13 16:59:03

I think it's normal wouldn't think anything of it I'd I witnessed a family lip kissing. My family are very non touchy feely so just cheek pecks here.

PenguinBear Sat 07-Sep-13 17:02:48

YABU, I find it weird.

I was brought up being taught lips are for romantic kisses with your dh.

I don't kiss anyone apart from dp in the lips an don't let the dc. Think of all the germs you're spreading!!!

bar dh and dc I would not kiss another on the lips

dementedma Sat 07-Sep-13 17:09:16

not normal here - weird, weird, weird

jamdonut Sat 07-Sep-13 17:18:10

I don't find it at all weird, but I am not close to my sister ,so I wouldn't do it!

And I wondered how long it would be before someone brought 'germs' into the equation hmm

Mrsdoasyouwouldbedoneby Sat 07-Sep-13 17:30:23

I don't like it myself but don't find it odd. I don't like to kiss the children on the lips. Actually I am not very touchy feely and dislike even cheek kisses but will tolerate them now. I wouldnt think you were odd... But mentally I always think (to the family member who lip kisses), not me. Not me... I usually find coughing a little or wiping my nose on a tissue results in a cheek kiss or more often a hug.

Bluestocking Sat 07-Sep-13 17:34:37

It's odd that in the UK there doesn't seem to be any kind of agreement on what's "normal" re lip-kissing, cheek-kissing, etc. My family are not particularly huggy and kissy but do French-style double cheek kisses. I'm sure it was never discussed but I grew up thinking that kisses on the lips were only for lovers. So I was very surprised when I acquired a best female friend, also British, whose standard greeting is a smacker on the lips (definitely a Mwah not a Nom-nom-nom). She kisses her children on the lips too. My own DS (9) has always kissed me on the lips so I've got used to that. Kissing my parents or sisters on the lips would feel very odd to me though.

Ragwort Sat 07-Sep-13 17:37:57

I am not at all touchy/feely/kissy so I wouldn't like it at all; my DH is the only person who I would kiss occassionally on the lips grin. I think my 12 year old DS would be horrified if I kissed him on the lips.

I don't much like hugging either.

What's wrong with shaking hands grin.

catgirl1976 Sat 07-Sep-13 17:39:05


WayHarshTai Sat 07-Sep-13 17:42:03

I have a lovely photo from my wedding day of me and my Dad lip-kissing. People have ewww-ed at it but it's just normal in our family.

LouiseD29 Sat 07-Sep-13 17:43:09

I'm from a tactile family and hug and kiss my loved ones quite happily and often. Never on the lips though - I find it really odd! For me kisses on the cheek are about affection, kisses on the lips are reserved for DH!

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 07-Sep-13 17:44:51

It's normal to do it and normal not to.

Your friend saying it was borderline incestuous is weird.

MamaChubbyLegs Sat 07-Sep-13 18:01:09

My mum is a lip kisser, so it's not as though I've been brought up not to be, but I'm really not. It feels icky to me. I'm not a fan of kissing or hugging at all(unless it's DP or DC). I am an ice queen grin

I don't think it's weird though. Each to their own. WayHarshTai, I bet it is a lovely photo. People who "eww" openly are rude. Who are they to judge what is normal or not? Personally, I think I am the abnormal one grin

FamiliesShareGerms Sat 07-Sep-13 18:07:46

Direct relatives (ie not in laws) and partners = fine

Others = a bit too intimate for me, but horses for courses

juneybean Sat 07-Sep-13 18:08:49

I don't find it weird, but I'm a bit of a head turner if people come in for a kiss.

FoundAChopinLizt Sat 07-Sep-13 18:09:30

I've never seen anyone do this.

Harrin Sat 07-Sep-13 18:25:11

Lip kisses for all children in our family, probably up until they leave primary I think then it phases out although my 13yr old dsis still gives lip kisses and you get no choice! Other than that lip kissing for dp only but I wouldn't judge another family, it's just not what we do

BackforGood Sat 07-Sep-13 18:29:55

Weird. Never seen anyone do it in real life, only ever heard of it on MN (and I know a LOT of people).
Kissing on the lips is something you do with your partner only in my world. It's a sexual thing.

everlong Sat 07-Sep-13 18:36:30

Just said to ds (14) ' do you want a kiss on the lips ' he gave me the hmm and called me a freak. Exactly DS!

LadySybilPussPolham Sat 07-Sep-13 18:45:28

Yes with DH and young DC's - their choice.
NO NO NO to MIL who used to pounce with an enthusiastic sloppy mouth kiss. I still don't think she's got the message but over the years I have perfected my body swerve wink

phantomnamechanger Sat 07-Sep-13 18:52:03

I find it odd TBH

Hugs and pecks fine

MILs kissing DH on lips? Lechy FILs trying to kiss unwilling DILs - both bleurgh!

I am not suggesting there is anything sinister involved in this when its just normal or cultural for some families, but on a serious note, how do you then teach your DC about personal space and boundaries so that they KNOW who is and who is not allowed to kiss them in that way. I do also think it has the potential to be abused by some people. I can imagine some freaky FILs getting off on smooching the DIL and making out it was all her imagination & he did nowt wrong.

Bowlersarm Sat 07-Sep-13 18:55:59

Normal, to me.

AgadorSpartacus Sat 07-Sep-13 18:57:30

Ah so lip kissers are freaks hmm doesn't take long to get personal.

Lip kisses are for DH DCs mum sis and grandad.
Showing affection.

Kisses with tongues for DH alone.

Jelly15 Sat 07-Sep-13 19:06:07

Kiss my parents, sisters, nieces, nephews and old friends not seen in a long time on cheeks. Only DH on lips. DC all over their lovely faces when little, except lips. Now they are grown up I am lucky to get a kiss at all.

SubliminalMassaging Sat 07-Sep-13 19:07:23

yes, weird. Own children, or partner. Anyone else is weird.

Dobbiesmum Sat 07-Sep-13 19:19:30

The only thing that's not normal is being told it's incestuous IMO.
I'm not a kissy person usually, a peck on the cheek is fine but it's generally just a hug.

SoonToBeSix Sat 07-Sep-13 19:34:55

Yabu it's weird

TiggyD Sat 07-Sep-13 19:36:04


everlong Sat 07-Sep-13 19:39:26

It's not incestuous just gross.

Bowlersarm Sat 07-Sep-13 19:42:43

Can I just point out that people saying they kiss their DH plus DC on the lips and anyone else is weird, well isn't that just what the grandparents are still doing with their own DC?

everlong Sat 07-Sep-13 19:47:25

But my son is 7 not 47.

Floggingmolly Sat 07-Sep-13 20:17:31

I'll probably stop when my kids are teenagers, Bowler...

Feminine Sat 07-Sep-13 20:31:35

How it happened I just don't know? but...I kiss my Dad and step-mum on the lips!

I do it real quick!

bash bash -dryish lips. grin

Bowlersarm Sat 07-Sep-13 20:35:52

Fair enough Floggingmolly but unless they stop you from doing it themselves, I bet you won't. It will just be natural until they deem it unnecessary, which may or may not happen.

People do seem very shocked, but if it's normal within families it just seems, well, normal. My DM was a lip kisser until the day she died, it just seemed natural to me.

marriedinwhiteisback Sat 07-Sep-13 20:41:20

No. I think it's weird and like others I have only heard of it on MNet and have never ever seen it.

If DH and I kiss on the lips it's in private. We don't hold hands in public.

squoosh Sat 07-Sep-13 20:44:59

What's wrong with holding hands in public?

englishbreakfast Sat 07-Sep-13 20:55:23

Normal here too, kisses on the lips with all close family DM, DF (when he was alive), DSiS, DH and DD. Won't kiss ILs on the lips though!!!

Velve Sat 07-Sep-13 20:57:33

Showing affection is very normal to me. I kiss my best friends on the lips, as well as DH and DS. Not my mother or sisters through as it's how she brought us up. We hug a lot though. I'm very touchy feely.

PasswordProtected Sat 07-Sep-13 21:19:54

We do, never even thought about it.
However, there was one funny incident where my cousin (male) arrived, greeted me with a kiss on the lips and then went on to kiss my father on the lips too. Both of them were a bit "surprised" but laughed it off.

AgadorSpartacus Sat 07-Sep-13 21:30:16

I don't understand what age has to do with it.

Ds is 11 and if I suddenly refused to kiss him on the lips he'd think that was weird. It will continue as long as it remains the most natural thing in the world to him and if there comes a time he prefers not to then it stops.

Kissing the in laws NO! Not even if they'd been soaked in Domestos.

Nonie241419 Sat 07-Sep-13 21:34:26

I'm from a very non tactile family. I don't hug or kiss any of my relatives, including my Mum and Dad. I kiss my children loads, but never on the lips. One of them had an extended phase of kissing me on the lips, and I let him because it made him happy, but I was glad when it changed to cheek kisses.
I don't think it's abnormal to kiss family on the lips, but I couldn't/wouldn't do it.

LaGuardia Sat 07-Sep-13 21:36:40

God no. Lip kissing with anyone other than your DP is revolting. I don't even kiss DC on lips. Why would you?

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey Sat 07-Sep-13 21:39:46

Normal here too, it never occurred to me that anyone would think differently until there was a thread on here. I kiss my sister, mum, dsd on the lips.

I find really odd that people don't even kiss their dc on the lips.

Nerfmother Sat 07-Sep-13 21:48:33

Sooooo weird how it divides people! Kisses on lips for sexual partners only. Kisses on cheeks etc for family and friends. Grossed out by the idea of kissing one of the dcs in the lips. Except ds (age 5) always sneaks this in! Yuk!

atrcts Sat 07-Sep-13 22:12:46

Out of interest - those of you who merrily kiss on the lips but won't do that for in-laws, why is this? In wondering what's the difference to the lip kissers?!!!

catsrus Sat 07-Sep-13 22:16:16

I come from a totally non tactile family - I don't recall ever hugging or kissing my parents. ExDh's family are cheek kissers - I adapted. I have friends whose families were lip kissers and who lip kiss me. I adapted.

To be honest, despite being a pretty non- demonstrative person, it's not a big deal for me to adopt the norms of the people I care about. If I don't like them or care about them I wouldn't want to hug or kiss anyway.

LaFataTurchina Sat 07-Sep-13 22:20:37

I still find it odd that some?most? British people kiss their children on the lips.

squoosh Sat 07-Sep-13 22:22:20

Whatever about kissing people on the lips I find it shocking and sad that some people have never hugged or kissed their parents. Literally no affectionate physical contact.

barnet Sat 07-Sep-13 22:24:32

I kiss the kids alot but not on the lips. Hug and kiss parents and friends but lip kissing is just for partners, for me!

Back2Two Sat 07-Sep-13 22:25:59

I kiss lovely female friends on the lips if we love each other a lot.

My dad kissed me on the lips until an age when i was too old and it made me uncomfortable.

Of course I kiss my boys on the lips but (because of me not liking my dad doing it) I'll respect them and not do it when it seems inappropriate (I'm sure I'll know when they don't want it any more).

AgadorSpartacus Sat 07-Sep-13 22:26:04

atrcts - for me it is only the people I love and feel comfortable with. I have kissed my parents and immediate family on the lips all my life.

My feelings about my in laws are many and complex. I do not care about them nor love them nor feel comfortable with them. I have boundaries which they sit firmly outside of as far as lip kissing is concerned. Or any kissing for that matter.

I am still confused as to how a closed mouthed 'mwah' on the lips to your children could be deemed as sexual. I think that way of thinking is weird.

FreudiansSlipper Sat 07-Sep-13 22:26:10


but not something my family does

though i would think it odd a little odd an inlaw kissing me on the lips or maybe that is just my ex inlaws

Back2Two Sat 07-Sep-13 22:26:45

Is it weird to kiss your young children on the lips? Wow. Just wow.

WhoDat Sat 07-Sep-13 22:30:44

I kiss DH, my kids, my parents, my bro, my aunts, some uncles, my grandaprents, my cousins and a good few of my besties on the lips. I have had plenty of freaked out reactions to it - shrugs - and of course that awkward shuffled when I go for it with someone I've forgotten isn't down with that sort of thing grin

atrcts Sat 07-Sep-13 22:40:40

Agador - I wasn't saying I think kissing your kids is sexual - just that adults kissing in the lips seems intimate and I see it as a sexual and not platonic arrangement! I gave the analogy of feeling comfortable in the bath with my toddler (a bit like kissing on the lips) but wouldn't be happy with either in regard to my in-laws, or even my own close family, because I see it as a step too far in a different-than-spouse-or-young-kids kind of a way grin

AgadorSpartacus Sat 07-Sep-13 22:43:19

atrcts - sorry that last bit was actually to posters up thread who said that lip kisses are sexual. Didn't mean you blush grin

atrcts Sun 08-Sep-13 01:15:22

Ah - gotcha! wink

Prissyknickers Sun 08-Sep-13 02:02:52

It's wierd to me. I kiss my boys all the time but not on the lips and wouldn't dream of kissing mum or db on lips but don't think it would phase me if I saw someone else kissing a family member on the lips. Each to their own.

Leavenheath Sun 08-Sep-13 02:16:35

Completely normal in our family for siblings to kiss eachother on the lips and it's got nothing to do with youth; we're all very middle-aged.

Secretswitch Sun 08-Sep-13 03:11:34

Huggy family here. Kisses reserved for husband and children.

MummyBeerest Sun 08-Sep-13 03:16:54

Normal to me. My family is dysfunctional but affectionate. So kissing meant all was well.

BOF Sun 08-Sep-13 03:54:47

With family, it's just how it lands. It's brief. It's not weird.

bonbonpixie Sun 08-Sep-13 04:03:42

Don't think it's weird at all. It's your family and you love them. It's just a kiss goodbye. But then I don't mind showing emotion. I have a few friends that are very up tight about stuff like this. They don't kiss or cuddle their loved ones at all. Makes me sad.

Ladysamantha Sun 08-Sep-13 14:13:41

it is weird to kiss anyone except your partner on the lips. I think it is wrong.

MrsDavidBowie Sun 08-Sep-13 14:35:09

I don't even kiss dh on the lips. Hate it.

MamaLazarou Sun 08-Sep-13 14:35:17

I only kiss my husband and young son on the lips. Lip-kissing between adult family members is gross and creepy!

I used to think it was a bit weird and only ever kissed DP on the lips. But when DS came along it seemed natural to kiss him on the lips too. I will probably only do it while he's small though. My mum made a comment once about me kissing DS on the lips but I just ignored her and she hasn't mentioned it again.

PaulSmenis Sun 08-Sep-13 15:49:57

I'm not a tactile person and I would find such a thing mortifying, but some people do it and that's normal for them. I think you friend is the one who's being a bit odd here OP.

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