To demand a c-section?

(69 Posts)
steppedonlego Sat 07-Sep-13 09:55:52

Quite willing to be told I am by the way.

I was really lucky to have an easy pregnancy, until the last 8 weeks or so, when I started to have severe period like pains and back pain. Went to the hospital to be checked out, and I found the midwives and doctor there very dismissive. They did an internal exam, (later finding out I have gbs) and then discharged me. When I asked what the cause of pain was or what they could do to help me, the doctor looked at me, sighed, and asked "why did you come today?" I responded "to make sure that me an my baby are alright". He replied "you're both fine, go home." I went home, feeling like a scolded little girl who had wasted his time.

The pain continued throughout the next few weeks, with husband asking me to go back, and me refusing, thinking that I was being hysterical, and that I must be exaggerating, until last night when it got too much, and I went back again. Waited 6 hours to be seen, was waiting in a room with other pregnant women, all happily chatting amongst themselves, looking radiant, and I was curled up in a corner, dripping with sweat and sobbing. Eventually got seen, at first the doctor thought the baby was breech, (no idea why that would cause pain) but got an ultrasound machine, and slapped it on, looked once, announced "head down" then took off, throwing the curtain open and leaving me fully exposed with no means of cleaning myself of the gel, and on full view to everyone. I was poked and prodded by about 5 different people, and then told that I probably have spd, and that they'll refer me for physio, but I probably won't get it in time, and that now they were going to give me an internal exam. I ended up just sobbing, and asking why they needed to, doctor said it was to check I wasn't in labour. I told them not to, and that if I was surely I'd know about it very shortly. They eventually discharged me at 2am. I went home and didn't sleep all night.

There were several other things that bothered me, the urine sample dropped on the floor that I was in that obviously belonged to the last person and which had not been cleaned, the monitor having old gel left on it from the last person and only wiped off with a tissue. The six hour wait, I know nurses are run off their feet, but the quality of care is really poor.

I'm now just really worried because I have read stories from women on the Internet who have spd, and also from a friend saying they got too exhausted to push and they ended up having an emergency c-section. I'm doubly worried about this because my baby is very large (8 pounds at 36 weeks) and this was a worry for me anyway. I'm having nightmares about her not being able to breathe and getting brain damage, and nobody is giving me any advice, or even information about what gbs is, or what spd is, or the risk of having a bigger baby, they're just telling me I have these things and leaving me to worry. I'm not bothered about myself, all I was is my baby to be safe and happy and healthy, and it seems the NHS is determined for her to be anything but.

Sorry to ramble on so much, but my question is, am I being unreasonable to have no faith whatsoever in the NHS's ability to get me through natural birth safely, and to demand a c-section?

HeySoulSister Sat 07-Sep-13 09:58:46

yabu

wonderingsoul Sat 07-Sep-13 10:02:41

yabu to want a c-secton due to this.

but i can see why you are so worried, are you able to see your mid wife to talk these things through? also is there another hospital that you could go to? it may be able to put your mind at rest.

LilRedWG Sat 07-Sep-13 10:03:20

A CS is major surgery. If you don't trust them to let your body naturally labour, why would you trust them with this.

What is your midwife like? Can ypu discuss your concerns with her? Alternatively, can you afford a doula?

FrigginRexManningDay Sat 07-Sep-13 10:06:17

First of all,sorry for your pins,must be tough.

Your baby is only estimated to be 8lbs. Weight by scan is notoriously so often off the mark. Lots of women told their babies are big and then have perfectly average weight babies.

A c section is not something to be decided on willy nilly and tbh I wouldn't choose to have surgery in a hospital that is so busy that basic cleaning cannot be carried out.

fuckwittery Sat 07-Sep-13 10:06:37

If you have a c section you'll need to potentially stay in much longer and you are quite helpless afterwards, very much at the mercy of the nhs. I know some ladies can get discharged quickly, but I had a terrible time in the post natal ward.
Your experience doesn't sound good. Have you a community midwife with whom you have a relationship with, and could chat this through with? Did you have your DP with you in these appts, to help you ask what's going on and make sure you are not dismissed? Have you though about maybe having a doula with you for birth?

FrigginRexManningDay Sat 07-Sep-13 10:07:09

Pains not pins. I have no idea whether you have pins or not.

SuburbanRhonda Sat 07-Sep-13 10:10:53

DS was 8.5 lb at 36 weeks - I was taking part in a research project and was having four-weekly scans - he was born at 39 weeks by elective c-section, weighing 10lb 6. The midwife said his weight had been increasing by half a pound a week! Even the registrar said she would have had a c-section in my situation.

I would stop short of "demanding", otherwise YANBU.

MrsLouisTheroux Sat 07-Sep-13 10:11:07

Hmm. You don't seem to have had a very sympathetic response from anyone. There is back pain ( niggling pain) and back pain ( where you can hardly move) I would go back to the GP but go with somebody else (DP) who will tell them calmly and assertively what the problem is. I say this because if you are in an emotional state ( sobbing /sweating) you are not likely to be able to communicate in the way you would normally which can lead to confusion and misunderstandings.

steppedonlego Sat 07-Sep-13 10:12:28

I'm not worried at all about myself, I just want my baby to be alright, and from where I'm looking, a c-section looks like the least traumatic birth for her, I know it's major surgery, and that there's a long recovery time afterwards, but I've been told that there is with natural birth with spd also. (I know dr google isn't the best, but as I've got absolutely no information from my health care providers, it's all I've got)

My midwife is equally dismissive, when I was asking her about the gbs, and what signs to look out for in baby, she just went on a rant telling me that I had parental responsibility and it was my job to bring baby in if I thought anything was wrong ( :s okay... I would have done that anyway) definitely not in a position to hire a doula

Squitten Sat 07-Sep-13 10:13:29

In your situation, I would do everything to avoid a c-section! I wouldn't want to be having surgery and then be trapped on a ward for days if the care is as bad as that!

Can you change hospital?

LilRedWG Sat 07-Sep-13 10:14:59

Is your GP sympathetic? I really think you need some reassurance.

meditrina Sat 07-Sep-13 10:15:21

I had quite severe SPD. It is definitely possible to have a push-out birth, and indeed given the extra softness of ligaments, there are many of us who have very straightforward births indeed.

I'm afraid that waiting times when you attend in the evenings do tend to be longer than anyone would like. And you do seem to have been unlucky that there were so many pregnant women requiring attention all that one evening. Unfortunately, they cannot really be seen in general parts of the hospital instead.

Have you thought about changing hospital? If you do require a c-section, you will almost certainly be in for much longer than a VB, so given bedside manner of that doctor and your concerns over hygiene, you may well feel more confident elsewhere.

Also ring your usual team on Monday morning to discuss the SPD and see what can be done. Even with little time to go, such things as physio, belt, and if severe bed rest, still make a difference.

LonelyGoatherd Sat 07-Sep-13 10:16:12

what a stressful situation - I'd change hospital (you can choose where to give birth). If you have a cs, it's 2 nights in hospital (minimum) in my area.

steppedonlego Sat 07-Sep-13 10:16:24

Not able to change hospital because the nearest is 45 minutes away and DH doesn't drive, and also am not 38 weeks and not sure how long it would take to organise it.

DameFanny Sat 07-Sep-13 10:17:36

I can see why the idea of a CS appeals - you're feeling out of control with the situation and you want to get back in control. There are other ways to do this however, which won't leave you as dependent on the hospital you don't currently have trust in.

Make an appointment with your midwife and talk the whole thing through - draw up a list with the GBS, SPD etc, plus talk through safe labouring positions, pain relief options etc. if you don't get the answers you need, press harder, or see another midwife til you do.

Once you're happy you have the info you need, you make make a birth plan and make sure your partner understands it. So if the pain relief isn't enough he can insist on something else, if you're exhausted he'll shout on your behalf. Make sure he knows he's allowed to be an absolute nuisance on your behalf, and that he knows when to step in and advocate for you.

The overwhelming chances are that you'll have a regular labour and be home with your baby shortly after. You just need a bit more information at this point so you can make some plans. Good luck smile

FrigginRexManningDay Sat 07-Sep-13 10:17:41

You will get anti biotics in labour with gbs.

I don't want to be mean or worry you or anything but a c section is not the least traumatic. Vaginal and c section carry their risks.

TheFantasticFixit Sat 07-Sep-13 10:18:26

Golly. Your hospital sounds like. Bloody nightmare. Nothing like reassuring care, is there? hmm

I think you need to explore the reasons behind wanting a section though more because if I'm honest, this sequence of events doesn't naturally arrive at the conclusion that a c-section would be 'brst'. I mean that from the perspective of the consultant and midwife who have to agree to the section. I've had one emcs, after a long traumatic labour and ended up staying in hospital for a week after (with my dd) due to haemorrhage and further complications. Once home however my recovery was swift and my scar is practically perfect and healed beautifully. I've requested a elcs with this pregnancy but there is a huge process to go through to request one - it's not as easy as just saying 'I'd like an elective please'.

Having said that, if you really think you want a c-section then you have a right to request it. It is major surgery but quite frankly a vaginal birth can be traumatic as well.

TheFantasticFixit Sat 07-Sep-13 10:19:06

Golly. Your hospital sounds like a bloody nightmare. Nothing like reassuring care, is there? hmm

I think you need to explore the reasons behind wanting a section though more because if I'm honest, this sequence of events doesn't naturally arrive at the conclusion that a c-section would be 'best'. I mean that from the perspective of the consultant and midwife who have to agree to the section. I've had one emcs, after a long traumatic labour and ended up staying in hospital for a week after (with my dd) due to haemorrhage and further complications. Once home however my recovery was swift and my scar is practically perfect and healed beautifully. I've requested a elcs with this pregnancy but there is a huge process to go through to request one - it's not as easy as just saying 'I'd like an elective please'.

Having said that, if you really think you want a c-section then you have a right to request it. It is major surgery but quite frankly a vaginal birth can be traumatic as well.

meditrina Sat 07-Sep-13 10:19:19

"but I've been told that there is with natural birth with spd also."

This isn't true - it's rare there is any trace of it after a week or so, and it's something you can go home with straight away (unlike c-section, where it's nearly always 2+ days in). Plus of course you'll still have the same time for SPD to subside, irrespective of means of delivery.

TheFantasticFixit Sat 07-Sep-13 10:19:24

Gah, apols for double post

NatashaBee Sat 07-Sep-13 10:20:04

I would be worried too in your position. I don't know anything about GBS, but I do know there are certain positions you should avoid in labour if you have SPD. I would complain to PALS about your treatment. Is your midwife sympathetic? Is there another hospital you could transfer to?

If you want a doula but money is an issue, I believe that a trainee doula can attend your birth for a token sum of money - they need to get a certain amount of births in when training.

Wishihadabs Sat 07-Sep-13 10:22:06

I'm sorry you had a bad experience. What about a home birth if the hospital care is bad ?

sillymeagain Sat 07-Sep-13 10:25:25

Gbs is a bacteria (group b strep) that a lot of woman carry but don't realise. ..as I recall it is harmless to women but can be harmful to baby. I have it and you just need to make sure they give you some iv antibiotics when you go in to labour. This apparently counteracts the small risk to baby.

This was advice 5 yrs ago. ..you may want to check current protocol.

Hope this helps
Xx

ZolaBuddleia Sat 07-Sep-13 10:25:57

Is there anyone who could give your DH a lift? A v cheap Travelodge or something he could stay in?

It sounds like all trust between you and the hospital has broken down. For the sake of your anxiety levels I'd find out all you can about changing hospitals.

motownmover Sat 07-Sep-13 10:26:02

What an awful experience - can you change hospitals and complain before you leave.

How upsetting and I hope you get good care and have a healthy delivery.

Good luck!

cantreachmytoes Sat 07-Sep-13 10:36:44

That sounds pretty horrific! I'd be looking at a home birth rather than a c section, just to avoid staying in there.

I was also going to suggest looking in to a doula. At the very least, she'd make sure things like being left exposed wouldn't happen. It's important for your baby that you feel safe for the delivery, however it ends up happening.

As for SPD, I had it to the point of not being able to walk without crying and went to an osteopath who made it go from pain 9-10 to 1. I've heard of people going to chiropractors and physios too. After DC1 (osteopath) I had no problem at all with SPD from the next day. With DC2 I had it again, but much, much less severe. I felt it now and again for a few weeks after the birth, but now (2 months) it's gone and has been for a few weeks (I'd forgotten about it until now). I had no problem because of it with the delivery in either birth and both babies were 9lbs, one with a 97th percentile head. Just to say that it's not necessarily going to cause you problems in the delivery if you have a VB.

Wibblypiglikesbananas Sat 07-Sep-13 12:10:22

Hi - firstly want to sympathise - SPD and sciatica are both hideous in pregnancy. Secondly, whichever hospital it was sounds dirty and the staff unprofessional. I've never come across something like this. It's not too late to change hospitals - and you have every right to do so. Is there somewhere else you could swap to?

I wouldn't have a c-section in a hospital where I didn't trust the staff - but I can see your thinking. If you don't think you should be sent home and the staff do discharge you, my old NCT teacher said to ask them to write on your notes that they were sending you home for xyz reason. No one wants to put their name to this so invariably you're kept in. Also, have you thought about a doula to be an advocate for you when the time comes?

I would want a homebirth in that situation, I think you would be crazy to trust them with major surgery if they can't even clean piss off the floor.

MrsWildermac Sat 07-Sep-13 12:26:23

I had severe SPD with DD - couldn't walk more than a few steps without being reduced to tears and my physio said they discourage women with SPD from having cs as they have to cut through the abdominal muscles thereby leaving you with no pelvic support at all. I was told DD was big, went 10 days overdue and she was back to back normal vaginal delivery on just gas and air. Turned out she was only 6lb 15oz!

everlong Sat 07-Sep-13 12:35:26

Yabu.

We all want our babies born safely. A c section is not the answer.

Explain to your provider your concerns ASAP.

specialsubject Sat 07-Sep-13 12:50:20

changing hospital is perfectly possible. Taxi, relatives, whatever. Costs trivial in the scheme of bringing up a child!

yes, I know you should not have to do this.

also no such thing as a totally safe birth, whichever way it is done. Happily the vast majority do turn out well.

Osmiornica Sat 07-Sep-13 12:58:58

"This isn't true - it's rare there is any trace of it after a week or so, and it's something you can go home with straight away (unlike c-section, where it's nearly always 2+ days in). Plus of course you'll still have the same time for SPD to subside, irrespective of means of delivery."

I have to say that this isn't true in my case. All the people I know who've had spd (myself included) it hasn't gone straight away at all and certainly isn't rare. That isn't to scare anyone but I think you should be aware of this so you can plan to do something about it afterwards. What I will say is that it does get a lot lot less painful (I was on crutches by the end) and it has now been sorted by going to an osteopath. If you're offered physio take it up and keep going after the birth.

As to the birth, I found it no more painful at all giving birth but make sure your midwives know the problem and encourage you into sensible positions (ie not on your back with legs wide open).

There's a website somewhere (will search in a minute) with lots of advice on spd.

Osmiornica Sat 07-Sep-13 13:00:09
MortifiedAdams Sat 07-Sep-13 13:03:57

I had GBS and had a mahoosive sticker on my notes stating it.

IV antibiotics four hours before delivery is ideal,.and they should be being shit hot on this. It can have veru serious consequences for baby if infected.

Ask to speak to the head of the labour ward about your complaints and concerns, and the flippancy of the staff re: GBS. If they are this bad, could you choose a different hospital? I wouldnt be trusting them with a Csec.

MortifiedAdams Sat 07-Sep-13 13:05:09

A taxi 45mins away is negligible in relation to the lack of care your current hospital is offering.

I would also look at changing hospitals, it could be worth the effort.

In terms of the CS, I can understand wanting one especially when you are in a lot of pain and feeling out of control and, by the sounds of it, like you are not being listened to. I had one for DD - I had an awful pregnancy, hyperemesis followed by hellish SPD. I was in constant pain and because the HG ran in to the SPD, I was exhausted by the time I was getting close to term. I was scared, feeling like I had no control over anything and got to the point where I was developing a phobia of birth because everything else had gone wrong and I was so damn sore. There were also stories in the papers about the excessive use of "high" forceps in my local hospital, including a couple of really sad endings.

I will say that my SPD was very bad. I could only separate my upper thighs by an inch or two, and having separated them by more than that (accidentally) in the bath had caused me to be in agony for days afterwards so I wasn't comforted by the "just have an epidural" response I was initially offered.

For me,the CS was the right choice. I genuinely don't believe I would have been able to have a simple, natural birth. DD was big, I had very limited movement, I was exhausted and in pain and also very frightened.

I'm in no way saying a section is necessarily the right way to go - just wanted to know you are not alone and you have to make the decision that is right for you. Everyone appraises risks in different ways, for some a c-section is the worst they can imagine whereas for others the thought of forceps is terrifying.

Wibblypiglikesbananas Sat 07-Sep-13 13:15:34

Just wanted to add - I'm in the US, where c-sections are a lot more routine. Here, you'd just ask for one and get one, and there is a lot less talk of them being major surgery etc. Obviously they are, and all operations carry certain elements of risk. However, when pretty much every American mother I know has had at least one elective c-section, as well as half the expat population, it does become the norm somehow as opposed to being something to be avoided. You need to do what's right for you and your baby. Being confident in your choice, whatever that may be, will help you feel more in control.

Catsize Sat 07-Sep-13 13:32:00

I would seriously look at water birth at home. Don't know what gbs is though. Does that mean no home birth?
Just souns like you would be in a much better state mentally at home, but 45mins may be longer than recommended from hosp.
If it is SPD, surprised it is only kicking in now. I was in a wheelchair by 32wks and bedbound by 36 with DS and have had symptoms since six weeks with this one. Think I am a it odd though. Still pushed out number one though, despite induction lasting nearly four days. Good luck!

Tealteeth Sat 07-Sep-13 13:35:20

YANBU. You don't need anyone's approval.

cubbie Sat 07-Sep-13 13:50:06

Hugs xxx don't care if un-mn-netty, you need them! I'm appalled at your experience. Google group B strep, there is an excellent website,I think it's something like www.gbss.org.uk

One of the pregnancy magazines had a big campaign about it when I had my Dc 6 years ago, it's a very serious condition and I knew girls online who'd lost their babies to it. Not trying to scare you, I'm just amazed at the lack oc concern and awareness of if from your HCPs.

I also had SPD, very severely. In the end up , it was so bad that I literally begged through tears for an elec c-section. The midwife in charge at daycare arranged it in the blink of an eye! And I can honestly tell you that it was a blissful experience, even my DH said how lovely it was, so different from my emcs with DS1.

My recovery was fine, I had no problems. Unfortunately, I still have SPD and Ds2 was 5 in July, so that's almost 6years.

It's a myth that it clears up as soon as baby is born, I know people who still have it. I was on crutches and just couldnt see logistically how I would have a normal birth. I have very very fond memories of my elective c-sec!

As other posters have said, you need your DH with you to support you while you sort this out.

Best if luck and you truly have my sympathy. Oh , I also had group B Strep, was on an IV drip during labour, it's very simple to sort out.

(Apologies for any typos, on phone and ds2 jumping on me!)

Chunderella Sat 07-Sep-13 13:52:51

Yanbu in that an elective section is a totally reasonable choice, in itself, and one that every woman should have the right to make. However, it sounds like you have two main reasons for wanting one and a section is only going to be helpful for one of those. Clearly if you're worried about the risks inherent in giving birth to a large baby, ELCS is an obvious way to mitigate those. So that's sensible- though not the only option, of course. But a section is not going to take away the problem of being treated like crap and the hospital itself being badly run.

I think you'd be better giving birth elsewhere. Once you've decided on that, see if you still want a section then. You might find your worries evaporate if you know you'll be somewhere you trust more. I also agree with the poster upthread who said see if you can get a trainee doula, particularly if you decide on VB. There might even be someone reading who could help?

cubbie Sat 07-Sep-13 13:55:23

Meant to say that I had planned to have a VBAC with ds2.
Just wasn't possible!!!

Chunderella Sat 07-Sep-13 13:59:09

With regards to homebirth, NHS doesn't usually advise it if you have GBS. Obviously you could still do it anyway- a quick google yielded the story of a woman who went into hospital to have the antibiotics once in labour, then came home again. I have no idea how safe this is, but it does happen.

holidaysarenice Sat 07-Sep-13 14:09:20

Reading that the first thing I want to say is slow down and breathe.

Your anxiety levels have hit the roof, which is not helping. Its normal to worry but honestly try to relax first. Then make a plan, try writing down your concerns and making a list of questions to ask.

Trying to keep your thoughts clear will help you to control the controllable and not fixate on the uncontrollable.

Then if a c-section is what you consider best, by all means go for it.

Idocrazythings Sat 07-Sep-13 15:01:49

Try not to worry about the GBS... A lot of women have it. It's just a bacteria that lives in the vagina. It's not sexually transmitted or mean that you're dirty.

Once you've been diagnosed with it you're treated as if you have it every pregnancy. You are required intravenous penicillin every four hours when in labour, and watched carefully if your waters break before labour starts. They would consider inducing you if that happens or at least giving you some oral antibiotics. Takes about four hours to work. Remember though, a function of your waters breaking is to wash your vagina out so if you happen to labour quickly chances are you would naturally be protected by the waters, especially if they break late in the labour. Afterwards the baby's temperature would be observed. Not sure exactly what your hospitals policy is regarding GBS monitoring of a newborn, but it's a reasonable question to ask.

With your SPD pain, be careful to be aware of your leg positioning if you have an epidural in, as you will be less likely to feel any over stretching of your legs. Maybe you can ask DH to keep an eye out for that, and for him to be aware if you are holding the same position too long or that the way your legs/hips especially if they don't look like they are in a "natural" position.

I truly do not think a c section is the answer to your concerns, but know that pregnancy, especially late pregnancy makes you worry more than usual and whilst your concerns are entirely valid and reasonable and you deserve the answers; you may not be reacting to them how you usually would. I am too embarrassed to comment about some of the things I thought/said/did from about 38 weeks onwards of pregnancy but let me tell you I cringe now blush. I am saying that with genuine care and hope you don't take any offense to it.

Take care have a nice bath and try to get a good rest before the busyness of life with a newborn begins. flowers

fabergeegg Sat 07-Sep-13 17:31:20

Ignore those saying you're being unreasonable to ask for a c section on this basis. They don't know what they're talking about.

You're weakening your argument by talking about the dirty hospital - though the lack of staff is certainly an issue if you might wish to request an emergency c section to avoid forceps and stirrups.

My own feeling is that there are risks both ways and you can really only evaluate them and decide for yourself. If you go for a c section, you'll be cutting through muscles that will be important in recovery. If you don't, there's the chance that you'll be placed in an unsafe birthing position. The one thing I don't think you need to worry about as a result of your spd is the baby. You don't have a higher chance of staff not getting the baby out in time.

Most importantly, it's very important than you receive manual therapy before the birth and start strengthening the muscles that will support the pelvis, as this will help with the birth and help you recover faster. I would not accept that you won't see a specialist physio, as you are meant to be referred urgently. In the circumstances, I suggest that you call Pelvic Partnership, as suggested above, and ask for help finding a specialist physio local to you. You will have to pay but I don't think you have the option of not, unless you can get the NHS to perform in time.

Famzilla Sat 07-Sep-13 17:38:14

I'm sorry you're having such a crap time but I really don't think a c section is needed under the circumstances you described.

I had SPD and a large baby. Was induced a week early. She was back to back and the epidural failed. Was a very stressful time & I ended up demanding a c-section because her heart rate wasn't ideal and I just felt so panicked and out of control.

I ended up staying in hospital for 5 days, could barely move for months and it still gets sore now. My tummy looks gross, I have a pouch and loads of water has been retained around the incision area so my belly looks like the Himalayas.

I frequently wish I had just let nature take its course and not panicked so much about everything! I think you're just getting yourself worked up and it's hardly surprising considering how poorly you've been treated.

Famzilla Sat 07-Sep-13 17:41:48

Oh & DD was only 7lbs 10oz in the end, a massive fuss about nothing!

TattyDevine Sat 07-Sep-13 17:52:33

Fight for a section if you can

YANBU

I've had 2, wouldn't have it any other way and had neither of your problems

WidowWadman Sat 07-Sep-13 17:54:23

You've got a baby in your uterus which needs to get out one way or another. In my book that's a good enough reason to request a CS.

everlong Sat 07-Sep-13 18:07:58

' you don't need anyone's approval ' I think you'll find that she does tealteeth

everlong Sat 07-Sep-13 18:09:31

widow you can't just request a CS. Well you can but for a real reason if you have any chance of being listened to.

12345Floris Sat 07-Sep-13 18:17:55

Your post reminds me why I'm glad I avoided hospitals and had a home birth.

12345Floris Sat 07-Sep-13 18:20:30

If you don't need a section, you shouldn't have one, in my opinion. It's major surgery which can have complications, not a quick and easy birth option. It's unnessarily utilising valuable resources.

duchessandscruffy Sat 07-Sep-13 18:33:26

Oh that all sounds so crap. However I don't think a c section is the answer, you don't really want to be cut open and have to stay in for longer in the kind of hospital you have described. I'm not sure a homebirth is viable become because of the gbs and the need for antibiotics (please do get the antibiotics and don't go sticking garlic up your fanjo to get rid!) So I think the best option would be to change hospitals - as someone else said a 45 minute taxi journey is probably preferable to the sort of care you might get at your current hospital.

By the way, they don't always treat you for gbs in subsequent pregnancies. I had it with my first but this time round was told by my midwife that they don't screen for it even if you have had it before. They just monitor the baby more closely after the birth - I was hmm

Luckily I got a letter from my lovely gp after I went to see her when I first found out ok was pg, asking me to come and get a swab. Tbh I know it sounds stupid but I almost hope it does come up so that it will be known about again and I won't have to worry about it.

testedpatience Sat 07-Sep-13 18:40:46

Please make sure you have a massive sticker on the front of your notes about the GBS and if you havent then find the biggest marker pen and write it across them yourself.

GBS is played down as being a tiny risk but it can have very serious consequences if not managed properly hence why other countrys routinely check for it.

My beautiful Ds is proof of what can happen when it goes wrong.

Have they checked you for other possible infections via blood tests if you are getting unexplained pain?

YANBU in wanting a CS but i'm sure if you felt happy with your care at a different hospital then you would trust them to deliver your baby naturally and wanting a CS would be a distant memory.

RedToothBrush Sat 07-Sep-13 18:49:19

everlong Sat 07-Sep-13 18:09:31
widow you can't just request a CS. Well you can but for a real reason if you have any chance of being listened to.

Have you actually read the NICE guidance on ELCS?

Your answer is definite no, because the guidance says that you should be given one if you request one. The guidance focuses on women with anxiety but actually covers all requests for any reason...

The fact that most hospitals aren't following this (which is technically best practice now due to this NICE guidance) is beside the point here. There are some hospitals out there that are. The issue is more about a postcode lottery and the attitude of the hospital management and staff, rather than whether you can just ask for a CS.

Basically politics rather than a clinical reasons to refuse a request. Which is frankly, disgusting. I don't think anyone asks for surgery without having a bloody good reason to.

everlong Sat 07-Sep-13 18:59:24

Erm I was speaking from my experience of requesting one because of a previous traumatic precipitate labour.

I got a big fat NO WAY. No amount of letters wrote, tears and pleading did any good.

I was told there wasn't a medical reason for my wanting one and therefore I wouldn't be getting one. End of story.

steppedonlego Sat 07-Sep-13 19:01:30

Thankyou all, you've all been so kind and I'm feeling a lot better about it. I got a bit hysterical, and pain and lack of sleep haven't helped.

I looked at doulas, but unfortunately I don't think that I can afford even a trainee one at this late stage, also the same with a taxi to another hospital, which I've now found out is over an hour away rather than 45 minutes. I'm also concerned about attending at another hospital further away because of the SPD, with needing antibiotics 4 hours before, I would rather go to the local hospital which is less than 5 minutes away, so I am fairly stuck on all fronts.

I'd like to thank the ladies pointing out that I was frightened of a lack of control. It's really strange but I hadn't considered that at all, but the minute I read what you said, it was like a puzzle piece fell into place. It's really helped knowing that that is where my fear is coming from and has really helped in coping with it.

I think my only option going forward is to write up a thorough birth plan, and try to be my own best advocate. I tend to be a bit of a people pleaser and don't like to put people out or anything, but I think I need to learn to stand up for myself a little bit more. My DH is even worse than me, he's been so completely sweet, and has taken really good care of me, but he's also terminally shy, I have tried to get him to stand up for me a bit more, but he just can't do it.

I don't think that I'm going to ask for a c section anymore, but will definately query the best way forward at my next midwife appointment rather than just blindly accepting what is given to me.

Any further advice very gratefully listened to, and thank you for the handholding. You're the best nest of vipers ever. thanks

Do lots of research into the SPD and how best to manage it in labour - I do, sadly, know someone who had long term pelvic damage which was attributed to her birth being mismanaged. That's not in any way intended to frighten you - she is from overseas, didn't speak great english and so wasn't able to be a good advocate for herself.

So, make sure that you and DH know your safe limits of movement and that you aren't pushed beyond this - I spoke to a couple of midwives who didn't really seem to appreciate the impact it had on my movement, and it was only when I spoke to the most senior midwife that I got someone who took the time to actually get me moving about, up on a bed etc and try different positions.

The pelvic partnership had lots of info.

Catsize Sat 07-Sep-13 20:56:07

Useful post above about the reason NOT to have a c section if you have SPD due to muscle damage. Have started using a wheelchair at 16wks this time. Also, not encouraging cubbie about duration of symptoms. Mine didn't go away after DS, but greatly improved (I could get out of bed without crying!). Was considering asking for a c section this time due to problems but your posts have changed my mind. I know a vaginal birth is better for baby and my recovery time too, so was only a fleeting thought, but thank you mnetters for your tips! OP, glad you are feeling better.

DameFanny Sat 07-Sep-13 21:06:01

Just keep reminding yourself, and your DH, that this isn't a question of manners, but of protecting the person that you're currently growing. Stand up for him or her if it's too difficult to do for yourselves? Unleash the tiger grin

MammaTJ Sat 07-Sep-13 21:34:00

Not reading the rest, as their opinions don't count! grin

I had a lovely all natural labour with DD1, wonderful!

DD2 was born by EMCS due to her distress, so doesn't count either!

DS, I was told he was 7-8lbs at 38 weeks. Lying bastards!! He was born 10lbs5oz and I ended up having an EMCS by general anaesthetic because playing 'the biggest turnip' was not working out. He has damage to his eye because of it.

You are in pain and struggling, you have been badly treated by the same team who will be there during your delivery, YANBU to demand CS!! I am not saying this lightly, knowing the difference between a naturla birth and a CS, in your case, I don't blame you!

JedwardScissorhands Sat 07-Sep-13 21:44:41

Yanbu.

In your position, I would (and indeed have) change hospitals.

Whether other people would want a CS is neither here not there. And a CS does not involve staying 'much longer'. The standard in the hospital I had a CS in last year was overnight, often ending up under 24 hours. Of course, there could be complications, but the same goes for any variety of childbirth.

FeedTheBirdsTuppenceABag Sat 07-Sep-13 21:48:38

steppedonlego

Please do not panic. You have had no support during your pregnancy.

I would start making the hugest fuss, NOW NOW NOW. Get on phone to docs, appointment, saying all stuff you have said here, phone head of MW for your area, ditto, everything you have said here, and also your hospital get onto PALS and say you are lost and do not know who to turn too. Start LOTS OF COGS turning NOW.

Someone somewhere will listen to you.

I totally understand why you want a section and I believe it should be EVERY woman's right to ask for one if she wants one.

I cannot believe that someone people have read your desperate op, and said YABU!

Anyway, I had an ELC - maternal request with no problems. It was definalty the right choice for me, HOWEVER, I was terrified of infection. Even in the likes of the hospital you describe one would PRAY that surgery is one area where its clean, but on the ward maybe not.

THAT would be my main concern for you having one there.

When I had my first, my DH made me think we couldn't afford anything, the panic of the baby anyway...I cut so many corners and worried sick about money. We have far less money now with no 2 than no 1 and I have not cut corners this time.

IE are you sure you cant afford this taxi to the hospital or consider ways round getting to another hospital as its a one in a lifetime thing...As for changing now, of course you can!

Do not panic, help WILL be out there for you...somewhere...but people are busy....you have to kick up a fuss and make your voice heard.

FeedTheBirdsTuppenceABag Sat 07-Sep-13 21:51:03

jedward you have just made me think actually, I was in for three nights with ELC other ladies in NCT were in for much longer due to problems with vaginal delivery, one was in a week, another was in and out for two weeks and another is STILL going back to hospital!

thewhitequeen Sat 07-Sep-13 22:58:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thewhitequeen Sat 07-Sep-13 22:59:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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