Fuming with grandparents n lack of support from my dad.

(123 Posts)
ElBombero Sat 07-Sep-13 05:10:32

Grandparents and my dad come over today to meet my 2 day old son. They asked of we had chosen a name, so said yes and told them the name. And their reaction amazed me "what your actually going to christen him that?" "He won't thank you for it when he's older" "it's a Chinese / Asian name" "have you thought of William instead" I was amazed, my DH was out n felt like they just launched on me.l, I was completely unprepared and obviously ubber emotional after just giving birth.
I told them to stop said I don't want any negative connotations on my sons name and it was mine and DH decision and we love it. It carried on a little "well you best give him a middle name to use if he wants" cheeky cheeky selfish bastards I just got angry then. If I dispised a name anyone had chosen family / friend / stranger I would always do the right thing and said it was lovely, not react like that, I'm seriously pissed off.

MollyBerry Sat 07-Sep-13 05:15:07

Regardless of the name that is really inconsiderate and even a bit racist. What does it matter what the name is as long as you like it (caveat that it is not outrageous like one I heard the other day, a girl called 'E').

What is the name?

CharityFunDay Sat 07-Sep-13 05:39:41

and obviously ubber emotional after just giving birth.

I think this is a key consideration. They've obviously harshed your buzz (maaan!). If they're supportive in all other ways, then don't be too hard on them. You plainly hadn't told them in advance of the birth, so they were clearly surprised and didn't think through their responses. They'll adjust to it, and given time won't even think about it.

I doubt that their responses were racist, unless the child is of mixed extraction.

Congratulations on your little person, and take it easy.

ElBombero Sat 07-Sep-13 06:37:08

It's Sonny which I understand can seem like abit of a silly name to an 80+ year old. But I was more confused that my dad just sat there staring at DS n didn't back me up, I sent a text after to him saying I would of appreciated abit of support earlier. He just text back saying its the way they are and I seemed to have it all under control. I know I didn't, I was aware of my voice breaking with tears at one point during my objections. Just felt I was in this gorgeous baby blue balloon of happiness after a great birth, a wonderful gender surprise and a very content baby. My choice of name comes from the fact I see it as a happy, cheerful, charming name I was so happy n they just fucking popped it, I know I shouldn't care, it's their age etc but I do hmm feel like I need to say something x

DropYourSword Sat 07-Sep-13 06:46:48

I think it's a lovely name OP. Congratulations on the birth of your new baby (so jealous!)

Vivacia Sat 07-Sep-13 06:54:44

I agree that it's a lovely name with a lovely sentiment behind it. I know you would have appreciated their immediate acceptance, who wouldn't? Accept the validation here that they were wrong, you were right but don't let this stand in the way of their relationship with your son.

Chusband Sat 07-Sep-13 06:59:35

They were completely in the wrong and they owe you an apology.

Don't be too hard on your dad though, he probably felt awkward and didn't want to go ploughing in. And you had your DH backing you up anyway.

Nora2012 Sat 07-Sep-13 07:02:50

That's awful, I'm sorry they made you feel that way! It's a lovely name and don't worry what they think. I'm sure it will grow on them over time anyway, (but then again, who cares!).

TidyDancer Sat 07-Sep-13 07:02:55

What Vivacia said.

The only time it's okay to say something negative like that after a baby has been named is if it's a truly horrific choice and it will have an impact on the child's life. I could understand if you'd named your DS Shitbag (etc), but clearly you haven't! Sonny is a lovely name so they are absolutely in the wrong.

Congratulations. flowers

waltzingmathilda Sat 07-Sep-13 07:14:59

As the voice of practicality, no matter how lovely you think a name take a step back from it and think - is it likely to be name that a future Chairman or King would use? if no, bin it. Sorry but the Jaydens and Kais of this world will be forever pigeon holed by their parents poor choice.

I have so many friends who, 20 odd years ago thought the moniker Frankie, Alfie, Georgie etc was cute. Very cute on a baby but to a serious 20 year old trying to get a decent job, let me assure each of them wishes they were properly named Francis and George, poor Alfie just thinks his parents lost the plot.

Hissy Sat 07-Sep-13 07:27:42

I know someone with a DS called sonny, they're super cool people, really lovely and he seems to be absolutely adorable!

It's not any kind of 'ethnic' name. It's lovely! Go for it!

friday16 Sat 07-Sep-13 07:43:42

"Sorry but the Jaydens and Kais of this world will be forever pigeon holed by their parents"

Sad but true.

Finola1step Sat 07-Sep-13 07:45:29

Sonny is a great name. Cheerful, dependable and friendly. Stick with your choice. Make it very clear that it is non negotiable and you expect your GPs to keep their thoughts to themselves for the sake of your son.

With regard to waltzingmathilda's comments... Yes, there may be very few kings called Sonny, but I doubt there will be a vacancy on that one. Plenty of Sonny's in the creative arts world. It would be a sad world if we all named our newborns on the basis of hoping their name would give them a leg up to CEO one day. I do wonder what Alan Sugar's parents were thinking....

Jaynebxl Sat 07-Sep-13 07:54:06

Blooming relatives who think your choice of name is anything to do with them! We called our daughter a name which we wanted to shorten to Annie. My gran's response was "what an awful name, sounds like fanny!".

Love the name Sonny. I couldn't stop singing the song when I was pregnant with ds and for a while thought we would call him that.

pictish Sat 07-Sep-13 07:55:05

We considered Sonny for ds2. I like it.
It's clear that they genuinely regard it as a nonsense name. To them, you may as well have said Fido or Fluffy. They have not come up to speed with current trends at all.

I suggest you tell them that Sonny has become well used these days, and that there's nothing way out or alarming about it. Then refuse to discuss it.

helenthemadex Sat 07-Sep-13 07:56:25

Sorry but the Jaydens and Kais of this world will be forever pigeon holed by their parents poor choice

Although its sad its very true, many people do make assumptions about others based soley on their name, including employers and teachers

Having said that I do like the name Sonny its cute

marriedinwhiteisback Sat 07-Sep-13 07:56:25

Oh dear OP, I can see both sides. My SIL gave her sons uber ridiculous first and middle names. I think my ILs should have said something. Everyone who hears these names says eeew - non-one has ever said "wow, how cool". To be perfectly honest the name you have chosen isn't far off because of the "oi you, sonny" connotations. It just doesn't work in this culture - the exception would be if you or your DH shared the ethnic origin of your name. I really don't think your parents meant to be unkind but are thinking ahead to the inane and possibly unkind 9omments your lovely son is likely to get. As someone with a traditional, unusual name those comments really get under your skin.

Congratulations on your baby - they are just perfect - you can gaze at them all day in wonder.

nameuschangeus Sat 07-Sep-13 07:57:49

Just wanted to say that I think Sonny sounds fab and also that elderly people sometimes seem to lose their mental edit button and so say the most outrageous and thoughtless things completely not realising what they're saying. My gran used to be like this and in the end I had to laugh or I'd have cried. Your dad was probably too engrossed in his smashing new grandchild to want to argue. Blooming rotten hormones! You have your wonderful Sonny and they'll get used to the name and love him regardless. Just be ready for the 'are you going out with him dressed like that? He'll need a coat/bonnet/' comments for ever more! Once their edit button's gone, it's gone winkthanks

beepoff Sat 07-Sep-13 07:58:19

It's a great name. Don't let their comments spoil this special time. You know what YOU like and remembering that in the face of criticism is very important now you're a parent.

notanyanymore Sat 07-Sep-13 08:00:27

Sonny is a gorgous name! Sounds like your dad was too entranced by your baby to tear himself away. My gran would be like that too. Of course your bound to be feeling emotional at this time, but really, its a lovely lovely name and from experience, people come to love it as they associate it with the child.
Congratulations btw!

sameoldIggi Sat 07-Sep-13 08:03:46

I don't see a problem with suggesting you give LO a middle name as well. Options are always good, surely? However they clearly went about it in a rude and upsetting way. Soon the will love it as it is the name of the baby, not just a random name.

waltzingmathilda Sat 07-Sep-13 08:06:22

It would be a sad world if we all named our newborns on the basis of hoping their name would give them a leg up to CEO one day

Most parents have aspirations for their children - I worked on the basis that names should be standard, non offensive, not attributable to race creed or colour but above all timeless.

Names we might think are "posh" or at the very least "pretentious" in the UK won't stand the test overseas. An acquaintance has a Xavier , which is common enough to be almost mainstream amongst the prep school mums but in the USA it is perceived as an Hispanic name and therefore very lower class.

"Sonny" to me sounds like something out of The Godfather or Cake Boss. Sort of Sicily meets New Jersey!

MrsLouisTheroux Sat 07-Sep-13 08:06:46

There will always be a divide. Those that like it and those that don't. Would you have preferred them to lie and say 'lovely name' just to be polite? I understand that they have hurt your feelings but they are just being honest with you.

MissOtisRegretsMadam Sat 07-Sep-13 08:07:06

waltzingmathilda are you Katie Hopkins???

ExcuseTypos Sat 07-Sep-13 08:10:29

Sonny is a wonderful name! As others have said ignore your relatives and carry on enjoying your little boy. They will come to love it just as much as they love the child.

They're far too much snobbery in this country regarding names. I can't wait for a prime minister or High Court Judge called something like Dwayne or Tinkerbell. The sooner people start basing their judgements on a persons capabilities and stop doing it based on a few letters the better.smile.

Bambamb Sat 07-Sep-13 08:13:14

Sonny is a lovely name ! I love love love love it, just ignore them.
We had a similar reaction from my MIL when we told her our DS name. His also has a middle name and she said she would just use that instead! ! Fortunately we have thick skins and were confident in our choice so we didn't let it get us down. Still totally love his name (which I may add is not particularly weird or unusual! )
Just remember it doesn't matter what name you pick there will always be some who don't like it or wouldn't use it for their own child but if that wasn't the case then all kids would have the same name!

ExcuseTypos Sat 07-Sep-13 08:14:15

MissOtisRegrets " WalzingMatilda are you Katie Hopkins???"


waltzingmathilda Sat 07-Sep-13 08:14:19

Who is Katie Hopkins?

Catsize Sat 07-Sep-13 08:15:20

It is the sort of name that may provoke a reaction I guess. Certainly doesnt fit into the 'Bible, kings and queens' category. Perhaps they would have preferred the latter and their faces would have told their reaction, even if they had kept quiet. They have come round to accepting your choice it seems.

Catsize Sat 07-Sep-13 08:15:58

Sorry, I meant accepting 'it's' your choice. They probably still don't like the name!

Snoopingforsoup Sat 07-Sep-13 08:16:18

Sonny is a lovely name.

Congrats on the little man. grin

In 3 months time, your Father will not imagine him being called anything else. I had the same from my Pa and smirked when I reminded him what and why he named his kids what he did.

pinkdelight Sat 07-Sep-13 08:50:40

It's a lovely name, OP, but I'd cut your family some slack. It's very much of now as a name and in their generation it had totally different connotations. Not sure about the race thing, but if you were telling a child off you'd call him 'sonny'. It's natural they'd be taken aback by it and as others have said, older people can be less good at editing their reactions. Or else they just felt strongly concerned enough for your DS that they had to say something. Yanbu to feel upset by it, but I don't think their reaction was a lack of support/love for you and DS.

FrigginRexManningDay Sat 07-Sep-13 09:04:36

I have a posh UK name/common American name. This whole nName/Brand is awful. A newborn baby already being put under pressure to succeed because they have been named to succeed in financial/power terms. What about personal success?

sparklekitty Sat 07-Sep-13 09:16:25

Namechangeus is right, prepare yourself for years of 'advice'. I love my granny but my goodness we've almost come to blows a few times. She is obsessed with DD being warm enough, now I know she grew up in rural Ireland with no heating but honestly, you'd think she was trying to roast the baby for Christmas dinner last year. Piles and piles of blankets!

The best advice she gave me was to stop breast feeding (as its not good for them) get her on to a bottle with a tot of whiskey in to help her sleep! My DH was shock and grin at the same time.

Sonny is a beautiful name (possibly one to steal for any future DS I may be having!)

Bambamb Sat 07-Sep-13 09:22:54

Haha at the whisky, now why didn't I think of that in those sleep deprived days?

Kundry Sat 07-Sep-13 09:29:55

Sorry you are so upset. But I did instantly think of the character from the Godfather and I suspect your parents are of an age to do the same.

monkeymamma Sat 07-Sep-13 09:31:11

YANBU OP, the name Sonny is lovely and he will grow up to be a lovely, happy, sunny child. Ignore or laugh at silly comments, they would probably have objected no matter what you'd chosen (honestly).

I have got to challenge the 'Kais and Jaydens have been pigeonholed' comment (ridiculous). These names will be super common by the time they are adults, no differently to eg Paul or Gavin now. They will be judged on their merits like anyone else with a reasonably popular, of-its-time kind of name. I know a baby Jayden in real life and he and his mum are lovely, she is smart and classy and he's a super boy. I don't see any connotations to his name. To be frank the only place where Kais and Jaydens are pigeonholed is on Mumsnet.

foslady Sat 07-Sep-13 09:31:59

People thhought Zara was a bit different until Princess Anne used it..........just saying.......

NotYoMomma Sat 07-Sep-13 09:34:12

my mum hates our potential name and keeps saying 'how about Lucy?' every single time I see her. I say no very firmly and give reasons.

then next time 'what about Lucy?' as if it is a brand new suggestion I may have never considered

drives me batshit

MadeOfStarDust Sat 07-Sep-13 09:36:19

be prepared for his nickname to be Jim...... can just about guarantee his grandparents will call him "Sonny Jim"

Dobbiesmum Sat 07-Sep-13 09:36:51

It's a really lovely name, just be prepared to introduce him as 'Sonny yes that is his actual name' for a while. Some people get confused if you don't use what they call a 'real' first name and try to make sense out of it, almost like they can't process something out of the ordinary.
My DS's name is a short version of a popular biblical name and we spent years saying 'no, not X, it's Y'.

BlingBang Sat 07-Sep-13 09:39:23

I think names can enhance and hamper to a degree so you do have to think it all out and probably to the older generation it does sound a bit strange.

But, I really like Sonny and know a little boy called that. It seems so normal now and nothing naff about it. Loved Sol myself but wasn't brave enough to go there.

BarbarianMum Sat 07-Sep-13 09:41:03

<<Most parents have aspirations for their children - I worked on the basis that names should be standard, non offensive, not attributable to race creed or colour but above all timeless.>>

How dull.

bridgetsmum Sat 07-Sep-13 09:45:56

If I'm being perfectly honest, I hate that name. To me it sounds like a pet name you would call your child, not a real name.

Sorry to be so harsh, people have their own opinions and if my child was going to use that name for their child I wouldn't be able to hold my tongue either. blush

Congratulations on the birth of your son,

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Sat 07-Sep-13 09:50:15

I love the name Sonny. So cheerful and lovely.

Everyone hated my youngest son's name at first and MIL even pointed out that her SIL gave her dog the shortened version of the name. I giveth not a fuck and love his name as much as ever.

BlingBang Sat 07-Sep-13 09:51:16

Ok, will admit when we first heard Sonny it did sound strange and took a little getting used to, forgot as we are so used to it now.

know a Buster and a Tiger - when you hear them being shouted out you do turn your head. Once you know them you don't think about it.

MimiSunshine Sat 07-Sep-13 09:58:04

Of people really discount names because it doesn't sound like the name of a CEO?
Yes because the only people happy and successful in this life are CEOs. No one else who isn't one has never amounted to anything.

Does no one who subscribes to this way of thinking actually realise that by the time these children are approaching that age and role, the names will be as standard as Karen, Alison and John?

OP ignore your GPs they don't like it, so what. You handled it well and put them in their place. Stick to the name and get some new born snuggling in

FrigginRexManningDay Sat 07-Sep-13 09:58:14

I worked with a lady named Joy years ago. She was a misery guts. Names do not make the person.

maras2 Sat 07-Sep-13 10:07:33

Our niece has a child called Sonny.Lovely name for such a beautiful boy.You can't help but smile when you say it.Your family are being rather mean.

Longtallsally Sat 07-Sep-13 10:14:25

Its a lovely name. Sorry that someone close to you had to burst your 'gorgeous baby blue balloon of happiness after a great birth'. Try to forgive them, and you will get it back, and can enjoy your baby again. Mine was burst by the most foul tempered hospital assistant, four hours after giving birth, who woke me - at 7am - shrieking "Where is your menu? why haven't you filled out your menu for today? They should have told you when you came in (at 3am??) last night!" I stil fume at the thought of it - was too shell shocked by a 28 hour labour, huge tear and total lack of sleep to react at the time. Bubble well and truly splattered!

natwebb79 Sat 07-Sep-13 10:16:11

I was going to ask waltzingmathilda the exact same question! grin

BashfulBunny Sat 07-Sep-13 10:20:04

Bridgetsmum really? Could you not hold your tongue when visiting your DiL when your DS was out 2 days after birth?! Whatever they think of the name, that is utterly rude and inconsiderate. If that was me, and I had serious concerns, I'd raise it with my DS later.

There are perfectly good names I rejected when we were thinking about DS because they had some connotation I didn't like (eg too strongly associated to a nasty boy when I was at school).

I have never watched the Godfather shock , so that wouldn't occur to me. Before you said the name I thought it was going to be something outrageous. It isn't. To me it sounds slightly American maybe, that's all. Names change so much with generations. I once thought Nora and Edith were awful names and why would you name a child something so stuffy, but look at Nora Jones and Edith Bowman (and incidentally I like both now!)

Congratulations! And they will come around to it as they learn a new name association to their gorgeous GS flowers

BashfulBunny Sat 07-Sep-13 10:20:33

Bridgetsmum really? Could you not hold your tongue when visiting your DiL when your DS was out 2 days after birth?! Whatever they think of the name, that is utterly rude and inconsiderate. If that was me, and I had serious concerns, I'd raise it with my DS later.

There are perfectly good names I rejected when we were thinking about DS because they had some connotation I didn't like (eg too strongly associated to a nasty boy when I was at school).

I have never watched the Godfather shock , so that wouldn't occur to me. Before you said the name I thought it was going to be something outrageous. It isn't. To me it sounds slightly American maybe, that's all. Names change so much with generations. I once thought Nora and Edith were awful names and why would you name a child something so stuffy, but look at Nora Jones and Edith Bowman (and incidentally I like both now!)

Congratulations! And they will come around to it as they learn a new name association to their gorgeous GS flowers

Sonny is a lovely name! Congratulations on the birth of your baby boy!

" Sorry but the Jaydens and Kais of this world will be forever pigeon holed by their parents "

Whats wrong with Kai? It is an old traditional Norwegian name! If a Norwegian person living in the UK were to call her son Kai, it is dreadful to hear the name spoken about in this way. It is a lovely name.

ElBombero Sat 07-Sep-13 10:22:23

Can't thank most of you enough for making me feel better, you really have. As for those that still chose to give a negative opinion on the name I really don't need your input, I was never asking for opinions on it just for a bit of support with the reli's.

I adore his name, it sounds cheerful and happy. I think it sounds youthful, charming and a little cheeky, someone who will always have a little twinkle in his eyes.

IMO I hope my son will never feel defined by his name, I think those who think this happens or do it themselves are bloody small minded and shallow. He will grow up with a generation of far worst / out there names. I personally only know of one Sonny and he's his his 50's, of Australia decent but he is a nice well respected man.

Thanks again everyone, you helped me pull my socks up abit and not let them get to me xx

SHarri13 Sat 07-Sep-13 10:24:28

People get so bloody ruddy and old fashioned about names. Sonny isn't even a 'fashionable' name, it's cool though. When you imagine a guy in his twenties called Sonny he's going to be cool, popular and fun isn't he?

My Dad showed his distaste for my DS1's name when I was pregnant and didn't know the gender. As it was we had a boy, used the name anyway and he never said another word! Ha.

The thing is, in time when your boy grows up and people get to know him, they will love the name as they will love him. Dont worry. smile

bridgetsmum Sat 07-Sep-13 10:33:20

Bashfulbunny I never mentioned dil, I said I wouldn't be able to hold my tongue with my child.
Having said that, my oldest is 10, it's a long way off and who really knows how they will react 15 or 20 years in the future?

I think op, your attitude is absolutely right. It's your child and your absolute right to pick his name. If other people don't like it, that's their problem. You certainly don't give a monkeys what I think.blush

I had a cousin call me when I was heavily pregnant and say "Bridget? You're gonna call it Bridget?"
Cue tears from me etc. but we stuck with the name we liked and it's just her now.

ZolaBuddleia Sat 07-Sep-13 10:41:06

Even my MIL, who can't keep her opinions to herself about ANYTHING managed not to be as blunt as that regarding DD's name. Some people are really really rude and inconsiderate, and for some people, being a grandparent brings out the worst in them.

Congratulations on your little boy. flowers

HappyMummyOfOne Sat 07-Sep-13 10:45:34

Your child, your call. I suspect your dad was looking out for his grandchild as its not a name most would choose and the child gets no say in it.

People do judge on the basis of names, you can usually guess the type of parent from a name.

At birth a career is probably the furthest thing from parents minds, but mis-spelt names, made up and simply daft names will hamper them in later life on their CV's.

Osmiornica Sat 07-Sep-13 10:49:36

We had something similar. I rang up to tell my parent's we'd picked a name for our baby and the first thing she said was 'what kind of a name is that?'. MIL said something similar and started making other suggestions and going on about how the initials didn't work (they don't make anything odd). It's not even a particularly unusual name just not that common in Wales I guess.

She now denies she ever said anything and I doubt anyone can imagine the baby as anything other than that name.
If you like the name then just stick with it and ignore the negative comments.

diddl Sat 07-Sep-13 10:51:14

I think that it as very "nicknamey", so i can understand them thinking that it might not be his given name.

But they were certainly rude in the way they asked!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MmmmWhiteWine Sat 07-Sep-13 10:56:50

Sounds like they could have been more tactful in their response but I do think if you give your child a more "out there" name, like Sonny, then you'll have to learn to live with people's reactions (& judgements).

pianodoodle Sat 07-Sep-13 11:03:00

Sonny is a cool name! It's a bit different but not wildly so.

Reminded me of The Godfather too - and that's my favourite film smile

Don't know where the hell they get the Chinese comment from?! Ignore ignore!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sat 07-Sep-13 11:03:11

Sonny was and still is my choice if I have a boy. I have friends who spelled it Sunni with their child which is a bit odd!

foslady Sat 07-Sep-13 11:30:35

I think you should tell them you've had a rethink and gone biblical........Zaccur, Azareel, Shubael or Habakk take your fancy?

BlingBang Sat 07-Sep-13 12:02:54

There are some names that stand out and attract attention - you need to accept this when naming your child and realise that it is the child that will possibly deal with this through it's life. It's quite a responsibility naming another person. Still like Sonny though.

GhostsInSnow Sat 07-Sep-13 12:02:57

I like Sonny, instantly thought of Sonny Moore who these days goes by the name of 'Skrillex' (Don't let him change it to that though, thats just daft)
It's a nice name, though its also a shortened form of Santino, wind em up a bit and tell them you'll give him his full name instead wink

Gullygirl Sat 07-Sep-13 12:08:11

He is your child, they had naming rights for theirs.
As an aside,I wanted to call my firstborn son Fergus, MIL made a face and shuddered.
Much to my regret,I ended up calling him something else.Should have stuck to my guns.

Aniseeda Sat 07-Sep-13 12:22:21

Yanbu, they were wrong to say what they did. If one of my DC named their child something I disliked I would just tell them it was a lovely choice and get on with it, hoping it would grow on me in time! I have had my turn at naming babies, now it's theirs.

I would make some allowance for the fact that they are in their 80's though. My Gran used to purse her lips at lots of things but her heart was in the right place, the world had just changed so much since she was young.

charleyturtle Sat 07-Sep-13 21:11:38

I knew a sonny when I was in uni (tbh he was a bit annoying) but I never gave his name a second thought until I read this thread and I don't know anybody else that did either. So I really doubt it'll be something that is picked up on by his peers.

Personally I really like it, its short enough not to get shortened to a nickname you hate but long enough to sound like a full name and its cute for a baby, cool for an adult, friendly sounding and unusual enough that there wont be 3 others in his class.

My grand parents and DPs entire family hated my DD's middle name and tried to get me to change it for ages but I love it, DP loves it and dd suits it down to the ground. Now I don't think any of them could imagine her having another name. Also the priest that did her christening commented on what a beautiful and unusual middle name she has and you can't really argue with that can you?

I love Sonny, ignore its a lovely name smile

When I told my mum what we had called my daughter she said 'I prefer her middle name'! shock

Again I chose to ignore wink

Pollywallywinkles Sat 07-Sep-13 21:54:23

Congratulations on the birth of your son.

The comment about his name is a generational thing; let it go and enjoy your son.

MariaLuna Sat 07-Sep-13 21:55:14

won't stand the test overseas.

Ha bloody ha!

Funny how people are led by their own narrow mindedness.

I know a Sonny, a very succesful musician, and a Kai, also succesful in life, who is in his 50's.

Neither live in the UK.

WetGrass Sat 07-Sep-13 21:59:57

My mum ran a long campaign against DS1s middle name (like - seriously - why was she bothered!).

I was living there immediately post-partum - ended up saying "I cant handle being hassled about his name all the time" - and retreating up to my room..... by the end of the day I had half a dozen emails in my inbox with Wikipedia links and the like trying to evidence to me that I had chosen a girls name and anyway misspelt it. confused . Lots of emotionally charged language - and even a helpful list of alternatives!

Anyone care to guess the cruelly effeminate and ignorant name we chose?

WetGrass Sat 07-Sep-13 22:03:52

Hell - I'll risk outing myself:

my mum couldn't bear to have a grandson with middle name Louie . Apparently Lewis is the only reasonable spelling - and Louie is short for Louise.

In summary: old people will always find the weirdest thing to object to.

Babycino81 Sat 07-Sep-13 22:04:10

Sonny is an amazing name. Tell them to get fucked.

Congrats on your little one and don't let this upset you, I'm due in two weeks and am already preparing for lines of attack when I decide on a name x

friendslikethese Sat 07-Sep-13 22:06:25

I have never really understood the "can you imagine a judge called ..." argument. I can't imagine throwing a CV away because of a first name.

I have a very unusual first name. Over time I have come to see there is some strength to having a name like that but - I wouldn't have chosen it. I was bullied at school, people don't say it properly, spell it properly. But more than that I don't like how it makes me stand out. For instance, I once rang the Samaritans about something (was v down.) I didn't feel I could give my first name as it would make me immediately identifiable.

Also, my mum gave me a middle name - that comes first hmm so my passport, driving licence and birth certificate say a first name I have never been called.

So, I can't completely agree with the "your baby your rules" thing - it doesn't impact on you but on the child. Sonny - not my choice but not the worst really. Have a friend who called her boy Sunny which I do think looks like a girl's name.

WetGrass Sat 07-Sep-13 22:12:33

Sunny is a common hindu boys name isn't it?

Whereas Sonny is American roots and Sunni is something else (Chinese?)

friendslikethese Sat 07-Sep-13 22:15:33

I don't know.

They aren't Hindu, though grin

WetGrass Sat 07-Sep-13 22:20:36


But that link spells it Sunay (which apparently means 'wise')

And I'm not sure I spelt the other one right either .. I'm sure Sunni is actually an ethnic Muslim group!

WetGrass Sat 07-Sep-13 22:21:48

... and Sunil is a common indian name - which I presume is why I have audio-memory of men being called Suni/Sunny

Nothing wrong with Sonny. I know a Sonny. His surname is Day (no, I am not joking!). He is gay, and very camp, and ultimately, he is very lovely. And that is all that matters! Tell them to fuck the fuck off, your child, your choice in name!

Prissyknickers Sun 08-Sep-13 01:37:04

There will always be someone who doesn't like the name you choose.

I called my son Oscar 20 years ago when no one seemed to call their child that. I had so many horrible comments from the older generation in mine and dp's families. The only reference they had was Oscar Wilde and shock horror he was gay! They couldn't believe that I would set my son up for a life of ridicule.
My mother took my son to a local adventure park when he was 3 years old and lost sight of him in the crowd. She was too embarrassed to shout "Oscar" so instead she stood there shouting "little boy" "little boy". It was only when she heard a mum shouting "Clinton"! That she decided Oscar wasn't so bad! I laugh now when I think how ridiculous she must have looked.
My son has grown into an incredible person who I am so very proud of and he loves his name.
Sonny is a lovely name and any child called Sonny will be aware that they are cherished so its not just a name, its a gift.
Stick to your guns and in years to come you will laugh about it with your lovely son, just as I do with mine.
Congratulations on your new baby boy xx

fackinell Sun 08-Sep-13 01:41:16

It's a great name, and congratulations. smilethanks

PrettyFlyForAWifi Sun 08-Sep-13 06:17:25

prissy that's hilarious!
Op, grandparents, what can I say, mine are in their 80s and seriously, the shit they come out with these days beggars belief. No self edit at all. Ignore for your own sanity - they're not going to change. I think Sonny rocks!

MammaTJ Sun 08-Sep-13 06:23:43


I usually judge names by thinking of other people I have known with that name. I have known two Sonnys, one a Jamaican taxi driver who was a total gent, loads of fun. The other mr friends dear little boy, again, loads of fun.

I think it's a lovely name.

BTW, I also think that coming on to a thread where a new mum is stating how upset she is by people criticising her choice of name and the criticising her choice of name is more than a little insensitive.

Morgause Sun 08-Sep-13 06:34:42

We gave DS1 a family name. It was quite unusual but traditional, iyswim. My parents were delighted because it's my dad's second name and has been in the family for generations.

However, we also gave him a "mainstream" name for his second name in case he objected to it as he got older. We needn't have worried, when he was about 10 it became more popular, although never in the top 50.

He loves it and the connection to his family. His second name (John) is now quite a rarity.

Morgause Sun 08-Sep-13 06:35:57

Posted too soon. Maybe give Sonny a second name that's more traditional in case he doesn't like it. I won't comment on your choice of name because it should be your choice and no one else's.

LittleEsme Sun 08-Sep-13 07:38:42

OP - I love it. It's a happy, dependable, earthy name. And I say that as someone with a really traditional, old fashioned upbringing.

It's lovely. Should he grow up to be a carpenter or a solicitor, it'll suit.

They shouldn't have laid into you like that - sure, I can see that they're fine to express an opinion, but they should have been more sensitive. And yes, your Dad should have told them exactly that.

Cuddly your baby and rejoice in him. Don't let this upset you any more.


Shamoy Sun 08-Sep-13 07:52:12

Fab name! I know three sonny's aged between 5 and 40 and they are all very cool!

Merrylegs Sun 08-Sep-13 08:03:16

Welcome to the world of new parenting where everyone will have an opinion on your newborn and Feel The Need To Share It With You. Respond with a smile, a nod, a non-commital 'thanks I'll bear that in mind' and try and let it all wash over you. Congratulations btw!

SockPinchingMonster Sun 08-Sep-13 08:07:25

WaltzingMathilda - Oops, I called my little boy Jayden - guess that's him pigeonholed then. To be honest though he's a very intelligent little boy, incredibly caring and well behaved most of the time. There are other Jayden's at his school and the school has quite an affluent intake for the city we are in so I don't see it as a 'chavvy' name. Everyone is entitled to their opinion though - just makes me a little sad that people are judged on their names alone.
Just out of interest his twin sister is Lola - not very common but would this name be likely to hinder her too?

OP - I think your little boy's name is lovely.

MissOtisRegretsMadam Sun 08-Sep-13 08:10:40

But sock is his name fit for a king?????

SockPinchingMonster Sun 08-Sep-13 08:15:07

MissOtis - I quite like King Jayden haha. He has currently decided his name is Jay anyway as he is too lazy to write Jayden on his work at school bless him. He is only 5 - I think Jay is pretty cool.

MadeOfStarDust Sun 08-Sep-13 08:15:35

lol MisO... you never heard of KingJay!!

MadeOfStarDust Sun 08-Sep-13 08:16:58

haha - cross posted... sorry...

justmuddlingthroughit Sun 08-Sep-13 08:23:04

mrslouistheroux,I think that's exactly what they should have done. If a friend of mine named her child a name I didn't like (shitbag notwithstanding, obviously!), I would simply smile and say something like 'how sweet!'. A lot of thought goes into choosing a child's name, and for me or anyone else to impose our taste or judgement is rude and arrogant. If it's a very unusual name, I might ask where it comes from or how they found it, but only out of curiosity.

Congratulations on the safe arrival of Sonny, elbombero!

justmuddlingthroughit Sun 08-Sep-13 08:25:55

Oops, just realised I replied to a post on page one, and we're actually on page 4.... blush

In the Godfather Sonny was short for Santino IIRC. My DS has a very common slightly nicknamey name and shock horror we didn't use the full formal version on the birth certificate (take that and party judgy M\netters and Katie Hopkins). This would have of course ensured that he would become a future leader of industry\ High Court Judge\ King of the World. Missed a trick there. DM and DMIL 'suggested'smile other names. DM now can't imagine him being called anything else. Smile and ignore. Smile and ignore. Smile and ignore and repeat.
Oh and congrats on gorgeous Sonny!

WorrySighWorrySigh Sun 08-Sep-13 08:45:30

The only proper response to the announcement of a name is 'how lovely/interesting, why did you choose that name?'

Anything else is downright rude.

RustyBear Sun 08-Sep-13 09:05:20

For those who favour the 'name a King would use' test, how about:


All perfectly good names of past Kings

Of course if you mean 'sensible names of Kings who have ruled England/Britain since 1066’ the choice is a bit limited. The 35 Kings since the Norman Conquest have had just 9 names between them:


and the next three in line won't be adding any new ones to that list.

Jinsei Sun 08-Sep-13 09:36:51

I worked on the basis that names should be standard, non offensive, not attributable to race creed or colour but above all timeless.

I'm struggling to think of a single name that fits this description! confused

wowfudge Sun 08-Sep-13 10:05:51

How rude that they voiced their objections to you! It's none of their business. A friend named her first DS Sam and his paternal grandmother was forever calling the child Samuel although that wasn't his registered name. Drove my friend nuts. DP was always known by his middle name by family growing up as it was the 'family' name. When he moved out of home and got a job, he gave up telling people he was known by his middle name and used his first name, which is the one I know him by and - I think - sounds better for a grown man. His family still call him by the middle name.

If you've chosen something your child finds a hindrance when he's older, he can always choose to change his name by deed poll to something of his own choice. That might be harder to swallow than family criticism now though.

MrsDeVere Sun 08-Sep-13 10:12:00

It is a lovely name.
Congratulations on your new baby
You CAN get your baby buzz back
Your dad wouldn't have understood how you were feeling, he has never been 2 days post birth smile

I am puzzled by their insistence that it is a Chinese name though confused

Floggingmolly Sun 08-Sep-13 10:12:53

Be prepared for people wanting to know his real name though, it does sound like a nickname. My Dad was know as Sonny all his life; his actual game was James...

Floggingmolly Sun 08-Sep-13 10:13:18

known as

Floggingmolly Sun 08-Sep-13 10:13:47

name. blush

MrsDeVere Sun 08-Sep-13 10:16:22

One of my DCs is called Asher.
Immediately she found out DM told everyone in the family that it was spelled Ascher.

I am not sure why although I have my suspicions pretentious

It was only a small thing but it took a looooong time for people to spell it our way. Years. Every time I saw it written down I got the rage a little bit.

PassAFist Sun 08-Sep-13 10:31:20

IMO it is a nicknamey type name, so I would expect it to be short for something else. If I liked it as a name I would name my son something like Jameson and then just call him Sonny.

My test for names is always:
(1) would I feel like a prat yelling it across the park
(2) if my child became a lawyer, judge, politician, doctor, or some other type of professional would the name still be appropriate
(3) if my child became a movie or pop star would the name still be appropriate grin

ElBombero Sun 08-Sep-13 11:13:39

I'm not sure either he came round yesterday, with more gifts (?peace offering). I asked about the Chinese link he said he had a friend called Suni, he was a Chinese fella. My DH happily shouted the name around the house when playing with DD1 'hey is Sonny your little bro / are we going to go and give Sonny a kiss / can Sonny come on holidays with us?' Hopefully hearing it put loud will help. He has a normal, slightly old fashioned middle name that he an of course use if e wishes. grin

ElBombero Sun 08-Sep-13 11:16:27

Thanks so much everyone. Smile and ignore grin he's my baby boy, my sonnys home, and damn he is the cutest little thing I ever laid eyes on grin

ElBombero Wed 18-Sep-13 22:06:30

Update my 30th today, not heard from GP since the above event, they've sent me a card with £60 in. I'm gonna have to ring tomorrow n say thanks but I'm miffed I haven't had an apology, more miffed that I've not even had an enquiry about him, but anyway. How would you suggest I play this? X

EastFife5Forfar4 Wed 18-Sep-13 23:09:10

Happy Birthday. And congratulations on your gorgeously-named son. I love his name, great choice.

Personally, I just leave arrogant people to it, I'd just not bother with them. They are evidently rude and mean, I can't be doing with such people in my life. You have a gorgeous boy to focus on. Their loss.

Jellybeanz1 Wed 18-Sep-13 23:27:24

This is a beautiful name which feels you with light when you hear it. Having taught secondary for over 16 years I have heard most name but I've only taught 1 Sonny. He was one of the loveliest, brightest happiest boys - very cool too, I imagined that was because his parents were after all it's such a cool name. I thought he lived up to his name, I still have a thank you card he made and visualise him clearly because he stood out. Finding names for my own dc was quite challenging as I didn't want to be reminded of someone else. GP was just trying to relate to baby from his experience, unfortunately not very sensitive. Congratulations on your bundle of joy. flowers

Jaynebxl Thu 19-Sep-13 07:12:10

I'd let it drop, give them a call to say thanks and update them on your baby as if they had asked. If you don't feel you can do that you could always just stick a thank you card in the post and pop a pic of Sonny.

kilmuir Thu 19-Sep-13 07:16:26

Leave it. Not everyones choice of name but they should have been polite. Be the bigger person

Teapigging Thu 19-Sep-13 07:42:16

Congrats on your baby, OP. Dont let this sap your joy.

Is Waltzingmatilda actually suggesting that parents all over the world should avoid the name Xavier because of WASP discrimination towards Hispanics??? Or in fact, check every single culture in the world to make sure a potential name isn't déclassé somewhere?

catpark Thu 19-Sep-13 11:13:18

Go on wikipedia and look up people with the first name Sonny. Most of the list are american. Alot of singers/musicians and also footballers.

As for the comment about using names that sound fine as kings/leaders etc.
How about these two :- Sonny bono was a singer and in later life a politician.
Sonny Perdue was the governer of the state of Georgia.

Ignore them, but make a point of slipping in Sonny's name each time you speak to them. They will get used to it and if not tough ! You'll find that some people always have a comment to make on your child, if not the name, it'll be your parenting. Or in my case, horror that we didn't have a christening !

You enjoy your little boy.

quoteunquote Thu 19-Sep-13 11:23:55

buy your grandparents the best of Sonny James I bet they remember the tunes.

CruCru Thu 19-Sep-13 11:41:45

It's nice. It reminds me of the Paul Simon song:

We had a lot of fun, had a lot of money
Had a little son we called Sonny...etc.

absentmindeddooooodles Thu 19-Sep-13 11:48:34

I love the name sonny. Top of my list if we ever have another ds. Funnily enough my gps didnt like the soind of it the first time round either. Saying that they hated my sons name....jude. they now love it and love him and refuse to admit they ever had an issue with it smile

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