Or is this the vilest picture ever

(54 Posts)

and what the fuck do I do with it?

My cleaner just brought us a picture back from her holiday back home in Lithuania. I have put a photo on my profile page, but it doesn't quite capture the full horror in all it's, er, 'vibrancy'.

It's not just the picture itself, it's the little glass bead type things attached to it, adding texture and a bit of a sparkly effect.

She is lovely and I can't hurt her feelings but I cannot fathom what possessed her to think this would go in our house, let's just say it doesn't exactly fit the decor. She is here every week so we have to have it on display somewhere. But oh. my. god. I cannot look at that every day.

If someone comes on here and tells me this is a great piece of Lithuanian artistic heritage I will feel suitably ashamed and that IABU. But I won't change my opinion off the bloody picture. It is hideous.

where do I put it?

SPBisResisting Fri 06-Sep-13 16:27:51

You may have to stage a burglary

Thumbwitch Fri 06-Sep-13 16:28:14

Well it's not lovely. But I've seen many FAAAARRRR worse than that. What do you do with it? Dunno - hang it in the loo, maybe?

SPBisResisting Fri 06-Sep-13 16:28:19

erm...just a thought, no chance your cleaner is an MNer?

kelda Fri 06-Sep-13 16:28:30

grin at your predicament. It's not that bad!

<not helpful at all>

No risk she is a mumsnetter, she doesn't really speak much english.

It really is bad, I promise you. It's bright bloody orange.

StephenFrySaidSo Fri 06-Sep-13 16:30:54

umm- I like it blush how big is it? I like pictures with ships/boats for some reason.

Isildur Fri 06-Sep-13 16:31:35

Do you have a small child?

You could hang it in their room and tell the cleaner how much the child loves sailing ships. And geology.

StephenFrySaidSo Fri 06-Sep-13 16:32:07

could you put it in your bedroom but just on the day she is due to come in? take it down and hide it the other days?

and it isn't small - it's about 20 inches wide....

and the picture doesn't show the very big gold frame.

Souredstones Fri 06-Sep-13 16:32:36

Throw it away and tell her your mother fell in love with it so you have given it to her or throw it away and say you took it into work to put up

CocacolaMum Fri 06-Sep-13 16:34:13

Its not something I would buy myself but I don't dislike it either? how lovely of her to bring you a gift

StephenFrySaidSo Fri 06-Sep-13 16:34:15

oh that is big! plus a gold frame! did she bring one back for all her clients? that will have been a heavy suitcase!

LazyMonkeyButler Fri 06-Sep-13 16:34:29

Ahh, the stone leaves which actually look like scabs. Priceless art, that.

I wouldn't particularly want to hang it in my house either TBH.

Kind of her to buy you a gift though grin.

SoupDragon Fri 06-Sep-13 16:34:35

It is a great piece of Lithuanian artistic heritage! shock You ought to be ashamed of yourself. angry

CocacolaMum Fri 06-Sep-13 16:34:57

LOL 20" hmm maybe not then. eeps that must have weighed a bit!

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Fri 06-Sep-13 16:36:28

I rather like it grin

<helpful>

Isildur Fri 06-Sep-13 16:38:30

Aha - actually I reckon your cleaner is pulling a master stroke!

She's re-gifting! grin No way would anyone lug that home from a holiday as a gift.

Not the worse thing I've seen.

Can you hang it in a room that doesn't get used very much or tuck it in to a corner of a wall and say that you was worried about it getting damaged so have placed it somewhere safe?

roseblanche Fri 06-Sep-13 16:40:08

I don't suppose she has done it for a wind-up? I started doing this to my sister, buying the worst possible bit of old tat back from my hols as a present for her. Took her a while to catch on....we now try and outdo each other with the 'best' find. Your picture would be a winner

It is kind of her to get us something. We sort of started it last year, getting her something from our holidays (but just chocolate). I know I sound very ungrateful but I did my best to sound enthusiastic and appreciative when she actually gave it to me.

I think we are the only client she actually ever meets because everyone else is out at work all day and I was on Mat leave and we often work from home on Fridays. She loves DD, I think it kind of cheers her up, must be pretty miserable just showing up to empty houses and offices, cleaning and never seeing anyone or even getting a thanks.

I think it needs a home that it can be removed from easily each Friday and returned to each Thursday.

FruOla Fri 06-Sep-13 16:42:59

Does your DD like it? Would she like the picture in her bedroom?

Your cleaner clearly hates you.

DD too little to really 'like' anything (15 months) but yes, I think maybe that is the place for it.

HumphreyCobbler Fri 06-Sep-13 16:46:01

It is pretty annoying to be given a picture. I would be horrified to OP. I would still put it up somewhere though, whilst inwardly fuming.

HumphreyCobbler Fri 06-Sep-13 16:46:07

TOO

NotAQueef Fri 06-Sep-13 16:46:22

Only one thing you can do really - bin it and get a new cleaner so she'll never know.

FondantNancy Fri 06-Sep-13 16:48:01

Haha.

I would say "my mum was around yesterday and she LOVED the picture. She says it will look amazing in her front room. She begged me until she had tears in her eyes so what could I do? I've loaned it to her for a few months."

MissDD1971 Fri 06-Sep-13 16:48:55

It's a present. You OP are heartless. Says she whilst giggling inwardly... LOL

Boy Scouts aren't popping by for their jumble sale are they?!

LumpySpace Fri 06-Sep-13 16:49:28

You need to take it to one of those overpriced old shit vintage shops. I bet they would sell it for £££££ probably to Kirstie Allsop.

BlingBang Fri 06-Sep-13 16:49:57

Seen worse like the the shockingly naff catholic pictures (3D) and statues our overseas rellies insisted on sending us, along with their ugly second hand clothes. Display it with pride!

Osmiornica Fri 06-Sep-13 16:51:44

Are the stones amber? It's quite common in baltic regions to have all sorts of tat covered in amber. No idea what you should do with it though.

Antidote Fri 06-Sep-13 16:52:51

Arf. That is nasty. It reminds me of the present my French exchange brought us, which my mother poped, unopened in the fridge assuming it was naice French chocolates.

Oh the shame when we opened them after supper on her third night, with guests, to discover a foul landscape of les alps.

CharlotteBr0nteSaurus Fri 06-Sep-13 16:52:56

once upon a time I would have said put it up to be polite. however, I have a cautionary tale. SIL once got me a small Vettriano print. Very much not to my taste, but on the wall it went.

For my next birthday, four friends clubbed together to buy me two, enormous, framed Vettriano prints. Because they'd seen the print in my house and "noticed I was a fan".

6 year later they were in "the box that went missing" during a house move.

Onesleeptillwembley Fri 06-Sep-13 16:56:03

How lovely of her, but there's only one way to deal with this so she's not offended - kill her and hide the body. grin

Amber? God, I hope it didn't cost her much, she's saving for her son's wedding! And it's horrible.

cocolepew Fri 06-Sep-13 17:00:09

Obviously it's no crying gypsy woman but i quite like it grin

JustGettingOnWithIt Fri 06-Sep-13 17:00:19

I was just about to say those stones are almost certainly Amber (I had two from well meaning Latvian friend as thank you presents) and I'd be suprised if they're fake. She's actually probably paid quite a bit for it, just to make you feel worse!

As the stones started to fall from mine I encouraged them and set some in a pendant and made much of it to him, and turned the unhappy gift into something nicer we both could enjoy me having.

NatashaBee Fri 06-Sep-13 17:01:28

Are you sure those are stones on it? They look like raisins.

JustGettingOnWithIt Fri 06-Sep-13 17:06:38

BTW just to warn you it's considered standard to keep cellophane on if you don't want it to become a total dust trap. At least you have a cleaner though. grin

Rooners Fri 06-Sep-13 17:06:51

Oh gosh how sad, this always makes me want to cry since a similar story in my first confession booklet when I was 7 blush

You didn't need to know that, but anyway, I have seen worse. It's a toss up between two 'paintings' my sort-of ex used to have on his walls. I had to stifle a giggle, he actually liked them.

One was a faded-to-blue picture of a wood, or a lake or something...you know I can't remember what it was but it was some kind of landscape. It was the colour of a smartie packet that had been left in the rain for four years. It was a print obviously.

The other one was a huge oil painting of a weird looking jazz trumpeter's face, close up, (this will out me to anyone who knows him) and if that wasn't bad enough it has got splashes of primary colours added all over it, presumably to cheer it up a bit.

Not sure if the trumpet player is crying too. You know, like pierrot?

It sucks, it really does. I have no idea where his taste in 'art' comes from. Hell, I think. He has some nice things too though.

LJL69 Fri 06-Sep-13 17:09:56

That is a belter!! Why not ask her where she thinks it would look nice? Or maybe not as she may suggest somewhere that isnt the garage/loft

JustGettingOnWithIt Fri 06-Sep-13 17:10:20

I just dropped it into photoshop for a closer look, it is Amber.

Jinty64 Fri 06-Sep-13 17:20:14

Replace a picture in the living room with the monstrosity for the day the cleaner is there. Change them over again in the evening. Sorted!

Justgettingonwithit Now I feel guilty. She isn't exactly flush and certainly shouldn't waste money on us.

I guess it goes up. Somewhere easy to move in the week.

FrenchRuby Fri 06-Sep-13 17:38:25

I actually really like it! I love ship pictures.

cashmiriana Fri 06-Sep-13 17:42:23

You will learn to love it, in the same way that we learned to love the blown goose egg, sprayed gold, mounted on a gilt stand, and decorated with golden braid, 'jewels' and tiny diamante butterflies that was a present to my mum from the lovely lady who cleaned her classroom at school (my mum was tutoring her daughter as a favour.) It was... unique.
It was also considerably smaller than your lovely picture.

RevoltingPeasant Fri 06-Sep-13 17:49:10

I would definitely put it in DD's room. If the cleaner loves DD you can say, 'Oh DD kept pointing at it and we wanted her to see it when she woke up in the mornings'. Thank your stars DD is too young to give you the lie.

Then sedulously train DD every day: 'Look at the lovely pretty picture, look DD look'. One day soon DD will say 'pwetty pitcher' in front of the cleaner and then there is no way she can be offended.

Job done grin

Chusband Fri 06-Sep-13 17:49:12

Do you want a house full of mass produced matching items from Ikea or a house full of quirky and interesting things that have a story behind them and remind you of places you've been and people you've met?

Try and convince yourself it's the latter!

KittyMcFumble Fri 06-Sep-13 18:46:19

It's vile. Couldn't you punch a big hole in it (between the beading) and tell her there's been a Terrible Accident...

I was given a hideous garden ornament by a friend who clearly has no idea about my taste and I'm wondering how long I need to keep it. It's been there about 6 months. I am thinking a year tops but at least it's tucked away in the garden.

Thumbwitch Sat 07-Sep-13 02:44:23

I second putting it in your DD's room, perhaps above the door where you won't see it every time you go in.

Amber isn't as expensive in the Baltics as it is elsewhere, IME (certainly it was cheap as chips in Russia when I went) but it's still not dirt cheap, so she has given you something that she considers of value. If she loves your DD she'll be very happy that you thought of putting it in DD's room smile

GrandstandingBlueTit Sat 07-Sep-13 03:29:56

Oh gosh, bless her. She must really like you to do think of you when on holiday at home, and bring something back like this.

I can appreciate its qualities. But... overall... It's not great, is it? grin

ravenAK Sat 07-Sep-13 03:31:24

The biggest danger is that you WILL start to like it.

I have a massive silk-screened abstract thing a London friend bought me ten years ago - we were pottering round Camden, I flicked through a rack of these, &, I think, said something vague about one of them being a lovely intense purple (& didn't add that it was otherwise bogglingly fugly because shopkeeper was hovering).

Friend said 'oh, you should get it'; & I said something like 'no - I just can't face lugging it home on the train'.

No prizes for guessing what I got several months later as an engagement present. Not even the purple one!

Dh recently pointed out, as we moved various rooms around, that we could quietly hide it, & friend would never notice as the whole room it was in has been re-decorated & changed purpose - & if she did we could claim it had been put away for safekeeping during the decorating.

I found myself defending the ghastly thing. It's bloody gone & grown on me.

So I'd suggest that you pretend to take yours to work 'to brighten up my office, it's so lovely...' before it takes root!

BakeOLiteGirl Sat 07-Sep-13 06:01:57

Put it in your DD's room and say the Baltic amber in the picture is helping with her teething.

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