Feeling sick since I read this headline

(68 Posts)
blackpepper123 Tue 03-Sep-13 12:11:34

I was on a bus this morning as had an interview and picked up the metro newspaper which had the most awful headline, I am not going to repeat it here but available on the metro news website if you want to look.

Ever since I read it, I feel really sick and depressed. I have a young daughter myself and cant get the stupid headline out of my head.

I didn't read the article, I couldn't bear to but the damage has been done

AIBU that they shouldn't put headlines like that in newspapers?

Tiredemma Tue 03-Sep-13 12:12:04

you are talking about the Michael Le Vell case I'm assuming?

Sirzy Tue 03-Sep-13 12:12:20

Without giving us some hint as to what it was then its very hard to comment

blackpepper123 Tue 03-Sep-13 12:13:38

Yes it is the Michael Le Vell case and involves attacking a child

Buddhagirl Tue 03-Sep-13 12:15:47

Yabu

LifeofPo Tue 03-Sep-13 12:16:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoleSource Tue 03-Sep-13 12:18:13

I haven't seen the paper but the newsreader did go into a bit of detail about what was supposed to have taken place. It was shocking. This is the second time I have felt disturbed by the reporting of child sex attack. The first time there was a vile image on ITN news at ten, years ago. Not going to say what it was and anyway the very few people I have told never believed me!!!! Gross and unnecessary it was.

NotYoMomma Tue 03-Sep-13 12:19:36

I cant see it on my phone. just post it hmm

themagicroundabout Tue 03-Sep-13 12:20:33

is the nursery worker? I can't bring myself to go online to see..since the news caught me off guard with it a few days ago and its been making me feel sick to the stomach since.

SaucyJack Tue 03-Sep-13 12:20:48

Why are you trying to draw more attention to it then if you genuinely don't think the details were appropriate for public consumption?

KissMeHardy Tue 03-Sep-13 12:21:02

You can't sanitise a child sex molestation, can you? You either read about it, or you don't !!

is it the he told victim she would die if she revealed the truth about the abuse?

Punkatheart Tue 03-Sep-13 12:22:33

It's nasty and I thought it was unnecessarily salacious. Why on earth do they have to give such details? I always find it odd that all of it is told, before anyone is actually found guilty.

Not unreasonable for it to make you feel sick and I don't think that the OP is being a 'bit of a flower' LifeofPo - she is simply stating an emotional response to a nasty thing that as a society, would make us all feel a bit shaky and unsettled. It didn't help in The Evening Standard that they also ran a story about a pilot who had abused his position and even used BA toys to lure children. It does give an unbalanced perception of a predatory world. In fact, such deviants are rare - but we are told about them over and over again, until we feel they are quite literally on every street corner...

NotYoMomma Tue 03-Sep-13 12:25:44

can someone post theblummin headline?!

jumpingpillows Tue 03-Sep-13 12:26:03

It happens every day sadly

HopALongOn Tue 03-Sep-13 12:27:41

I don't understand releasing all these details before the trial has even finished and a decision has been reached.

youmeatsix Tue 03-Sep-13 12:28:19

All the headlines are sickening atm but you are being a bit of a flower <<<< this. there are PLENTY of very upsetting headlines ATM "Jon Venables is freed AGAIN: Bulger killer is secretly released from jail and given FOURTH new identity" <<<this for instance

Sirzy Tue 03-Sep-13 12:37:03

As upsetting as headlines may be the people who are faced with the reality of the issues covered by such headlines is much more upsetting.

morethanpotatoprints Tue 03-Sep-13 12:37:34

No YANBU I caught the headline on my MSN news last night. You can't avoid headlines anywhere. Ok those who say you don't have to read the article, you don't, but the damage is done as the headline usually tells all.
This case is even more sickening as a lot of people are used to seeing him on the screen and for many it was a shock.

SparkyTGD Tue 03-Sep-13 12:39:04

blackpepper it is very upsetting but it is news reporting.

I find I'm more affected if I'm a bit low anyway with pmt or life events.

If it makes you feel better arrange a donation to NSPCC or something.

Give your DD a huge hug tonight.

Onesleeptillwembley Tue 03-Sep-13 12:39:51

It bothers you so much OP that you registered on here to post about it?

EldritchCleavage Tue 03-Sep-13 12:39:58

Not going to post the headline since it upset OP so much and this is her thread, but I saw it across the train carriage today on the way to work and it got to me too. I think it was in bad taste.

GrassIsntGreener Tue 03-Sep-13 12:41:10

I did think the teddy reference was unnecessary on a headline

miemohrs Tue 03-Sep-13 12:42:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EldritchCleavage Tue 03-Sep-13 12:54:58

I am a survivor. Part of why it got to me.

blackpepper123 Tue 03-Sep-13 12:58:09

Saucyjack - am I bringing more attention to it? I didn't link to the article, I am focusing on my reaction to it. It must be awful for the families of the people involved also

LifeofPo - is it being a flower to feel sick after reading about a child being attacked? If so, I would rather be a flower than heartless

HeySoulSister Tue 03-Sep-13 13:01:26

Who is heartless?

Eilidhbelle Tue 03-Sep-13 13:01:59

I knew it would be this, YANBU. It came up on the sky news app last night and I thought it was unnecessarily graphic.

LifeofPo Tue 03-Sep-13 13:18:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mintyy Tue 03-Sep-13 13:21:55

Op, don't you think it is a bit self indulgent to post about this when presumably the girl and her family are the ones who are really suffering in all this? Your op is very much all about YOU do you not see?

KatyPutTheCuttleOn Tue 03-Sep-13 13:24:12

Assuming it's about Michael Turner/La Vell, yes it's awful but news headlines are awful. The one on the Metro web site of all the bodies is terrible.
I wouldn't be critical of the OP though, all news headlines are potentially distressing depending on our own background, others we can just say 'how awful' and move on. We don't know what the OP has experienced to make her feel that way.

I remember being (unusually) reduced to tears by two things I saw within weeks of having my PFB - one was a picture on the front of a newspaper of the body of a baby girl in China, the body had been dumped in the gutter and the other was a road accident where the car was on the side and a pink teddy bear was in the road next to the car. Life does that to us, it's part of what makes us human not robotic beings with no emotion.

EldritchCleavage Tue 03-Sep-13 13:30:53

I am not heartless, but as you said this thread is all about you and your reaction which I think is self indulgent

Oh, for heaven's sake. Hide the thread then. OP wants to explore her feelings about this, she's allowed to, what's the problem?

blackpepper123 Tue 03-Sep-13 13:33:14

Good post KatyPutTheCuttleon. We cant help how we feel, some things do affect us more than others

LifeofPo- is it being self indulgent to say how I feel about something? That is what most of AIBU is about!!

Onesleeptillwembley Tue 03-Sep-13 13:45:15

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

blackpepper123 Tue 03-Sep-13 13:51:31

I can see why I was so reluctant to register on here now onsesleeptilwembley

Onesleeptillwembley Tue 03-Sep-13 13:55:15

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Repeatedlydoingthetwist Tue 03-Sep-13 13:57:25

Another one who doesn't understand why they reveal things like this before a verdict? Could it jeopardise the chance of a fair trial? I know jurers aren't supposed to read about it/watch the news but in today's world it'll be everywhere.

Golferman Tue 03-Sep-13 14:01:19

Salacious or dramatic headlines are there to hook the reader in (to buy or read the publication - this is no worse, IMO than those silly 'coffee Break' magazines that some people read) . I would rather these things were published than hidden away to be honest.

MrsDavidBowie Tue 03-Sep-13 14:05:10

The jurors would hear it in court anyway.

I think Yabu......news is often hard to read especially when it's about children, but I'd rather have it out in the open and discussed than hidden away.

EldritchCleavage Tue 03-Sep-13 14:09:04

The headline is taken from the prosecution's opening speech to the jury. It's the prosecution case that this is what Turner did.

Wow why the hostility towards the OP?
Its ok to feel the way you do, sometimes I fear we are becoming too immune to stuff like this, it doesn't shock us anymore.

Wembly you are being very cruel! How dare you speak to the OP like that. She can post whatever she bloody wants and some of us are happy to support her.

Tad aggressive Wembley - you can get your point across without being quite so offensive surely?

Onesleeptillwembley Tue 03-Sep-13 14:25:49

And other people can post whatever they want, instead of tip toeing around someone professing to be so upset about something thats happening to someone else they have to start posting about it. People like that make me gobsmacked at their sheer hypocrisy and self centred misery.

You need to get over yourself Wembly!

Onesleeptillwembley Tue 03-Sep-13 14:32:34

Think it's the OP that needs to.

BoozyBear Tue 03-Sep-13 14:42:42

as he is on trial not proven guilty, i dont think ANY of the case details ought to be made public.

Even if he's cleared, mud sticks.

EldritchCleavage Tue 03-Sep-13 14:43:36

Where is the hypocrisy?

MollyHooper Tue 03-Sep-13 14:45:52

What's your beef wembley?

The OP has posted because she is upset, she has her own reasons for this.

Why should that annoy you?

Auntfini Tue 03-Sep-13 14:46:17

I think the reference to the teddybear in the headline itself was very, very hard to stomach.
Awful case.

onesleep you are being cruel.

If it was similar to the Guardian's headline then I can imagine that it was awful. The one in the G brought tears to my eyes before I'd even read the article.

It's dreadful to read but life is full of dreadful things and we have to face them. I felt similarly about the pictures f the Chinese baby found in the drain-they stayed with me for weeks. I'm sorry you were upset OP.

Onesleeptillwembley Tue 03-Sep-13 14:52:38

If it supposedly upsets you enough to make you feel sick and unable to mention it then why the hell would you be starting and posting on a thread about it. Hypocritical and voyeuristic to be using it in that way. If she'd come on and said isn't it shocking and upsetting, then yes, but to make it all about her is just nauseating.

MollyHooper Tue 03-Sep-13 14:58:00

But her upset is about her. It's not hypocritical and voyeuristic to talk about it.

As I said she has her reasons and has no obligation to tell you about it.

LeBFG Tue 03-Sep-13 14:59:07

There must be something going on in Onesleep's life to make her so vitriolic today hmm.

Onesleeptillwembley Tue 03-Sep-13 15:05:54

Nope, quite a productive day, actually. Just detest feeding off others misery.

MollyHooper Tue 03-Sep-13 15:12:18

Really?

Because you seem to be getting something out of trying to make the OP feel like crap.

GrassIsntGreener Tue 03-Sep-13 15:18:33

Why are people being so rude and nasty to the original poster? Hope none of you are like that in real life. If you're sat with someone watching the news and something awful comes on, you never make a comment that it's upsetting?

For heavens sake.hmm

Pawprint Tue 03-Sep-13 15:22:18

I'm the same. Anything about child abuse or animal cruelty - breaks my heart. At least it does spur me to donate to a relevant charity, that's the only positive.

Bowlersarm Tue 03-Sep-13 15:22:24

I sort of understand where onesleep is coming from (I think!)

It's all in the news for people to see. It's like vouyerism/sensationalism/rubber necking to be discussing it and the details on here now.

I haven't been following it myself, but if he's guilty he'll pay the price. If he's not guilty he'll pay the price. Just a grim situation all round.

sweetiepie1979 Tue 03-Sep-13 15:23:00

The sun have the same or similar headline, I walked into shop and it was spread across 4 rows. It's a horrible headline, I feel yuck since seeing it I've got a child and in 35 weeks pregnant it really made me sick to the stomach.

EldritchCleavage Tue 03-Sep-13 15:37:04

Why can't we discuss whether we think these kinds of stories should be covered in this way, and what it would mean if they weren't? That's all OP is really doing.

I'm not saying onesleep doesn't have a point at all (though very unpleasantly expressed) but there are counter-arguments to that.

Like, sensationalising these stories helps no one and is distasteful, and in the end, aren't people rather desensitised (rather than galvanised into action) by this kind of coverage? I worry about how people look for a harder and harder 'impact' and more and more detail on a lot of news stories, from casualties in war zones to graphic scenes of car accidents to the story we're talking about here. Not sure it is a good thing.

Auntfini Tue 03-Sep-13 15:41:18

Actually I think the headline the op's referring to is actually about voyeuristic, just the way it's titled.

Bowlersarm Tue 03-Sep-13 15:42:10

True Eldritch, I think it's good to be able to discuss anything on here.

But the way the OP has phrased it is a bit like "........oh this is so disgusting, it's made me feel so sick I can't even think about it. Right let's all discuss it shall we?"

I read headlines that make me sick. They stay with me for days. Truly shocking things. The last thing I could do is talk about it.

That's all. (Btw I haven't looked at the story because I expect I will be shocked so actually can't discuss it with any sort of opinion)

TSSDNCOP Tue 03-Sep-13 16:15:27

I'm beginning to think the media is producing headlines like this as a consequence of having lauded certain celebrities over the past years that have now turned out to be paedophiles hiding in plain sight.

Yes they are sickening, but only fractionally as sickening as the crime they are reporting. Nowhere close as we should be sickened if the alleged crimes are proved through this trial to be true.

The cult of celebrity must not be allowed to cloak heinous crime. Did you read that two jurors recuse themselves after the judge asked the jury me members if they were certain they could disengage the accused from his TV alter ego. How can that even be possible?

Does such a headline make consumers buy the paper in question over another? Probably not.

Should heinous crimes be reported, whether their existence upsets us or not. Hell yes.

blackpepper123 Tue 03-Sep-13 16:44:21

Bowlersarm But the way the OP has phrased it is a bit like "........oh this is so disgusting, it's made me feel so sick I can't even think about it. Right let's all discuss it shall we?"

I am not saying lets discuss the crimes, I am saying is it really necessary to have such headlines

I am sure bowlersarm you have discussed matters that have upset you with others, I am sure you have not kept quiet about every matter that has upset you in your life.

Do we want young children reading those headlines and then asking about them?

Bowlersarm Tue 03-Sep-13 16:56:51

OP I don't want an argument with you. I am just pointing out your initial post to start your thread is a little at odds with what you are trying to say.

To answer your questions directed at me- actually if something really upsets me in the news i find that, actually, I can't talk about it.

I don't know the headline of which you speak so I can't talk categorically about that. But in general I think young children wouldn't ask about it, but if older children do, then it's best that they ask it of you, their parent, so you can discuss it at a level you know they were capable of dealing with and are at hand to answer questions in an appropriate way. I'm talking a bit blindly here because you didn't link the headline you are talking about.

I think younger children might ask about the headline in question because it includes the word teddy. Though I don't think they should be given a totally rose-tinted view of the world, I would be quite sad if a young child learned about such cruelty in this way. As indeed, to a far greater extent, the child in question did sad

Viviennemary Tue 03-Sep-13 19:29:08

I am surprised at the amount of detail released during the trial and somebody on This Morning commenting about it. And every so often the person said oh but we must remember he hasn't been found guilty yet. And they had already made up their minds. That's how it seemed to me anyway. It was quite wrong I thought.

NeedlesCuties Tue 03-Sep-13 19:31:48

OP, I agree with you, and think having this forum to discuss it in is a good thing.

I saw the headline when I was out shopping today with my DC2 and felt awful. I do think that the headline in huge letters was shocking, and too much content for the headline.

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