to just want a night's complete sleep without one of them fucking waking us up

(136 Posts)
hooochycoo Mon 02-Sep-13 04:46:46

We have a four year old and a one year old, not a night passes without one of them waking up and waking the rest of us up. Why oh why can the pair of them not understand that bedtime is for sleeping? so utterly sick to death of it.

RegainingUnconsciousness Mon 02-Sep-13 04:48:51

YANBU

Sorry to hear it. Hope things improve for you.

BonaDrag Mon 02-Sep-13 05:00:58

I know how you feel. I hear it gets better...

Doubtfuldaphne Mon 02-Sep-13 05:02:28

You're not alone sad

JollyGolightly Mon 02-Sep-13 05:07:15

I hear you. I'm currently rocking a pram in the kitchen to get the 1yo to go back to sleep. Was in to the toddler earlier, who'd been sick through coughing. A normal night here.

BonaDrag Mon 02-Sep-13 05:15:02

DD has just gone back to sleep.
In my bed.
Lying horizontally.

angry

CharityFunDay Mon 02-Sep-13 05:21:19

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

HeyUGuys Mon 02-Sep-13 05:32:50

Morning grin me too!

I'm on the other side of the world, nearly 10pm, 22mo DD still fucking pratting around. DS (nearly 5) has only gone down because I put him in our bed.

And yes DD will definitely get me up several times in the night. If she does her miraculous sleep-through-once-every-three-months thing, DS will break his usually impeccable sleep for that night only

Fucking kids

2children2cats Mon 02-Sep-13 06:02:37

I feel your pain but... We had 1 night of decent sleep this week and I felt fucking shocking in the morning!

sleepywombat Mon 02-Sep-13 06:05:29

Its because its a drop in the ocean 2children2cats. Your body realised what its been missing & wants more.

wintersdawn Mon 02-Sep-13 06:42:49

that's so true it's like the rare occasion that both of mine sleep till 7 I always wake with a splitting headache sad

YADNBU. Ours were the same until about a month ago. The first two nights that they both started to sleep through, DH got up in the night for a wee, bastard angryangryangry

PrincessKildare Mon 02-Sep-13 07:01:00

Im so glad its not just me. I had a full nights sleep on Friday cos the OH got up with the boys andon Friday morning i felt shockin. it wasnt worth it.

LovesBeingOnHoliday Mon 02-Sep-13 07:02:26

5 and 2 here and it's no better sad I'm back at work today and had tge worst night of all the holidays

scrivette Mon 02-Sep-13 07:04:35

I feel your pain. The two year old had a good sleep (didn't wake up until 4am) but the dog woke me up three times instead.

I have 5, 3 and 10 months. They have daily meetings to ensure I don't get too much.. Last three nights have been awful hmm and dh away now till late Wednesday hmmhmm

I'm so tired I hurt

GnuYork Mon 02-Sep-13 07:07:35

2 year old and 1 month old here. Oh god this is going to go on for years isn't it? Toddler actually woke more times than the baby last night.

GnuYork Mon 02-Sep-13 07:07:35

2 year old and 1 month old here. Oh god this is going to go on for years isn't it? Toddler actually woke more times than the baby last night.

I find myself fantasising about a single bed in a hotel room, white sheets, no tv, no noise, no interruptions

I haven't had a good night's sleep for over 4 years. It sucks. But I hear it gets better smile

Suddengeekgirl Mon 02-Sep-13 07:09:09

Snap!
Ds is mostly ok, but dd can have me up 3x a night, she's 2.5yo FFS!hmm

TheFowlAndThePussycat Mon 02-Sep-13 07:10:20

Mine are 6 & 4 and we probably get 3 unbroken nights per week. So that's progress to some extent right....?

Last night dd2 woke up screaming like a banshee, we, assuming there was a burglar or a fire happening, dashed to her side. The actual reason? Itchy bottom. <weeps silently> <rocks>

Lonecatwithkitten Mon 02-Sep-13 07:13:49

And then one day like a switch going on you can't get them out of bed shock.
No answers just to say you will survive I did - just.

Christmasberry Mon 02-Sep-13 07:16:05

7 years ago was the last time I had full night ...

ElleBelly Mon 02-Sep-13 07:20:03

Feel your pain, grim night here again, just 4 year old keeps coming through with increasingly BULLSHIT excuses and 3 month old going through some hideous sleep regression and up seemingly hourly. I look like worzel gummidge.
Apparently it'll get better!

Meglet Mon 02-Sep-13 07:20:55

Yanbu. It's almost 5yr old DD who causes most the problems in this house. She starts school this week and I have all my hopes, and sanity, pinned on her starting to sleep better. Even 6yo DS has the odd wander at night. They were actually great sleepers as babies / toddlers, it's the pre-school years that have been grim.

ihatethecold Mon 02-Sep-13 07:21:53

I does get better. I promise grin

Mine are now 13 and 10. I get up before them now.
Sometimes I go to bed before them.

Now if someone could just shoot the sodding pidgeon that sits outside my window from 5 am I would rejoice. . confused.

Me and my dh look back at the years if sleepless nights and wonder how the hell we got through it!

Salhal Mon 02-Sep-13 07:24:28

YANBU. Mine are 1 and 3 both still bastard wake up and other people look at me like I'm mad when I tell them. AND they then get up in the hour of 5. I look 10 years older than I did 3 years ago.

ExcuseTypos Mon 02-Sep-13 07:25:35

When mine were younger and I had been disturbed at least 3 times a night for 2 years, we decided to try something.

We put a small single bed in our room and we put DD in it. We didn't have another broken night, ever. She slept completely through.
I did however got some very funny looks from people who thought I was mad and that DH might leave mehmm.

But I didn't give a shit because we were all getting some sleep. She stayed there for about 10 months and then moved in with her Dsister. I would seriously recommend it if you're at the end of your tether. smile

justwondering72 Mon 02-Sep-13 07:25:53

Lol at TheFowl we get woken during itchy bottom attacks as well.

5 and 2 Here also, no decent nights sleep since Ds,1 was born. Every night without fail Ds 1 wakes for a pee then comes into our bed, bounces around, moans and goes to sleep. Then Ds2 wakes at 6 on the dot, will go back to sleep but only after a feed and cuddle with me clinging onto his bed, by the time that's done Ds1 is usually awake and needs company. Yawn. Hello another lovely day.

ElleBelly Mon 02-Sep-13 07:29:05

But why do they still have so much fucking energy when they've been up alllllll night?

Haggisfish Mon 02-Sep-13 07:38:07

So glad it's not just us. 3.5 yo and 7mo - 3.5 yo wakes at least once and 7mo wakes 3-4 times a night. Knackered doesn't even start to describe it.

NeedlesCuties Mon 02-Sep-13 08:24:31

Same here, have a 12 month old and a 3.5 year old. 12 month old wakes sometimes for around 2-3 hours during the night confused

A friend with older kids once gave me sage comfort, "you'll get nights which are so stressful you'll want to kill the kids, but luckily these won't be the nights you're DP will want to kill them."

I know it's a bit morbid, but I knew she meant that when things are crap then it's good to share the burden (if possible!)

ElsieOops Mon 02-Sep-13 08:34:34

mine woke up most nights till they were about 4/5. that worked out as about 10 yrs in total. now the cat wakes me up.

Needles That is so true! And very good advice.

Mine are 3 and 6. We mostly get 5 nights unbroken, although last week DS woke up twice a night every night. I'm sure I am personally responsible for maintaining the ground coffee industry over the past 6 years.

withdrawalmethod Mon 02-Sep-13 08:46:51

It's so hard. the 3.5 year old is up once in night without fail and gets up for the day bang on 5.50am. 6 month old up and down all night at the booby buffet.

FriskyHenderson Mon 02-Sep-13 09:04:52

4 non-sleeping/staying in their own beds DC here. Eldest is 9. We've tried the mattress on the floor, and it was good for the 1 DC that could get in it. We are currently trialling the super king bed (fits 2DC&2adults or 1 adult +3 DC) and a spare double bed. Well actually <laughs hollowly> the double is DC3's bed but she's never in it. That takes 3 people. There's a lot of bed swapping. Then DC4 is a frequent sub-6am waker. DC1 is an anxious child with ASD, DC2 will read under the covers for hours... I often dream of a quiet, empty hotel room with crisp white empty sheets on an empty bed in a quiet room and room service.

SimplyRedHead Mon 02-Sep-13 09:05:24

6 yo has slept through since a few months old but gets up at 6am, almost 4yo gets up every fucking night but then sleeps until 9.30/10 and 5 month old sleeps from 9pm-6.30am and has done since 2 weeks old.

They're like a well rehearsed tag team of torture.

Alanna1 Mon 02-Sep-13 09:08:32

My mum's tip was to buy two double beds!!! She said she and my dad would sometimes have a kid in a bed each, and sometimes creep out when we were both asleep with her into the other double bed!!

hooochycoo Mon 02-Sep-13 09:51:42

"you'll get nights which are so stressful you'll want to kill the kids, but luckily these won't be the nights your DP will want to kill them."

yes yes. last night was dh's night, who said to me, you's better go into him next time or i might tear his fucking head off' . night before was mine when I was thumping the pillow next to the screaming baby rather than the baby.

aaaaagh

"They're like a well rehearsed tag team of torture."

yes yes, and they also seem to know when the other one is actually sleeping well and wake them fucking up.

aaaaaagh

JammyDodger1 Mon 02-Sep-13 10:00:08

I'm sorry my bloody 8.5 year old hasn't slept a full night in her own bed since she was 2 sad

DigestivesAndPhiladelphia Mon 02-Sep-13 10:05:29

YANBU. I feel your pain.

ElleBelly - your Worzel Gumnidge description just made me laugh, thank you.

We have 9 month twins, a 2 and 8yr old. The 8 yr old sleeps but the others take it in turns and wake each other up. The twins actually slept last night so my 2yr old decided to wake at 4am & screeched repeatedly that she needed the potty. She then changed her mind but persuaded me to sleep in her room & talked at me until morning.

The cleaner arrived about half an hour ago to see me still sitting in my bed, children around me, looking exactly like Worzel. I heard her outside whispering to my older DS: "Your mother is in there. I do not know if she is okay or not" grin

DanceLikeJohnTravoltaNow Mon 02-Sep-13 10:11:13

I'm with you. After 18 months of no more than an hours uninterrupted sleep at a time I've booked myself into a hotel for a night next week. Can't bloody wait!

tethersend Mon 02-Sep-13 10:22:09

YANBU.

Kids are cunts.

hooochycoo Mon 02-Sep-13 10:26:41

lol at tethersend

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Mon 02-Sep-13 10:34:23

4yo dd and 15 month old ds get us up every night without fail. At least the 8yo and 7yo sleep soundly sad brew

ZingWantsCake Mon 02-Sep-13 11:05:51

let's bring back a slosh of rum in the bottle - they will be sound asleep! grin

it's hard, I sympathise! <strokes * OP's* head>

we have 6 and I haven't had a proper night's sleep in 13 years, even if they sleep I can't, I'm so used to being up or woken up - does that cheer you up?grin

the only thing I can suggest is to divide and conquer.
get your DH to sort the 4 year old and you sort the baby - if feasible.
I use the "pick up/put down" method (Tracy Hogg - The Baby whisperer ) - and in the middle of sleep training 16 month old DD, and it's going well.

The 4 year old might need a bit more excersice and /or food perhaps?
there are things you can try but it is complicated, I know.

pfft - oh fuck the tutters, here's a hug!
(hug)

hooochycoo Mon 02-Sep-13 11:08:09

jesus zing, you've got six? good god, that makes me want to cry.

PMDD Mon 02-Sep-13 11:09:17

I feel your pain. So sorry. Those years are very difficult. I promise it does get better. Mine are 6, 8 and 10 and I have had sleep now for over a year. Makes such a difference.

I know everyone says that when your children are little and cute that it is the best years and to enjoy them because they are so fleeting. But it is very difficult to enjoy them when you are so tired.

Tailtwister Mon 02-Sep-13 11:11:21

Sleep deprivation is hideous OP, I've been there. I don't know what to suggest apart from saying our 2 slept reliably through the night (barring illness) from around 2 and 4. The only thing which seemed to kick start the process for us was no daytime naps and plenty of exercise during the day. Now our eldest has started school we actually have to wake him in the morning!

The only reason we coped was because we had no choice. I just started going to bed really early (around 8) as it was my only option.

SooticaTheWitchesCat Mon 02-Sep-13 11:12:03

The last time I had a full nights sleep without being woken was 9½ years ago confused

Tailtwister Mon 02-Sep-13 11:13:09

Also, I don't know what your family working pattern is, but make sure you both get at least 1 lie in a week. We used to take turns at the weekends (DH works full-time), or if that wasn't possible made some time for a nap later in the day.

ZingWantsCake Mon 02-Sep-13 11:22:29

yep hoochie! 5+1!

if Chaos hadn't snapped it up, my user name would have been ChaosTrulyReigns!grin grin grin grin

please don't waste your energy crying!wink

why do they wake up? what time?

YouAintNoLady Mon 02-Sep-13 11:23:04

I feel your pain! Went through exactly the same thing with my three when they were younger, as what with breastfeeding, then teething, illness, nightmares, wetting beds and so on, I got to the point where I seriously wondered whether it was worth going to bed at all because I knew that I would be woken up so many times by one or all of them at some point in the night. ON top of that, we usually ended up with at least one of them joining us in our bed, so that didn't make for a good nights sleep either.

Used to obsessively count how long I had gone without a proper nights sleep and it mounted up to years.......... Was so tired I couldn't string a sentence together some days, because having been woken a couple of times, I couldn't get back to sleep and had massive sleep deprivation and no chance of a lie in to catch up. DH and I used to compete over who had had the least sleep! If he got up with one of them, he always seemed to have the knack of falling asleep again quickly, whereas I couldn't if I had got up because one of them was ill, because I would be worried they were ok.

BUT, it does eventually get better, just hang in there as best you can. It takes you some time to adjust to being able to sleep again, so be prepared for that, as I found that even when they eventually slept, I would still keep waking as it had become a habit.

ZingWantsCake Mon 02-Sep-13 11:32:38

btw - my situation doesn't mean you'll never sleep again, sorry if I implied that! thanks

I'm an owl naturally, so I've always been up late, I used to study at night (less distraction) and rarely feel sleepy before midnight.
I do my best creative thinking between midnight and 2am (again less noise helps me focus) and have been known to sew all night coz I had the inspiration!

I hate mornings though...

hoppinMad Mon 02-Sep-13 11:47:42

Yanbu

Mine are 3.10 and nearly 1. Older dc was an absolute nightmare until 1.5, waking up up to 20 - yes 20 times in the night. I recall many a time sat in bed bawling my eyes out along with baby. I stopped breastfeeding and progressed to only 3 or4 awakenings, and now he is brilliant. May moan in his sleep once or twice occasionally and a quick shush or a whisper of 'its ok' instantly works.

Dc2 on the other hand is teething sad been a week of sleep deprivation, he wasn't too bad last night except dc1 needed the bloody toilet at midnight, so went to sleep after that and woke up at 4.30 wide awake, unable to fall back to sleep!

hooochycoo Mon 02-Sep-13 13:13:19

the eldest has always been a pretty good sleeper, bar sickness and random stuff, but since dd was born he's been dreadful. taking hours to go to bed, coming through to us in the night continually, deliberately waking his sister up because he thinks it's funny, deliberately hurting us i.e. we take him into our bed in desperation and he waits till we're asleep and starts poking, biting and headbitting us. i think most of it is jealousy. His sister is such an absymal sleeper, still up three or four times a night screaming the place down. I think he just sees the chaos and attention she gets and wants piece if it. doesn't help that she's still in our room. the plan was to get her in his room like a year ago, but she' too fucking noisy

purrpurr Mon 02-Sep-13 13:28:43

Zing, 6! shock Where do you put them all? What if they all wake up at the same time? Are you an octopus?!

In a desperate bid for sleep, I put my DD in bed with me this morning. She punched me in the face, bopped herself one then went fast asleep and snored for two hours. If she was tired enough for that, why was she farting about doing her sundial impression (stolen from MiaowTheCat) at 5am and then getting stuck and being all waaaah? Is it really that hard being a tiny baby? She's currently snoozing open-mouthed on my shoulder and I'm still in my pjs. And I look about 50. I'm 28. I've had to change all my make up shades from Ivory to Fucking Dead.

allthatglittersisnotgold Mon 02-Sep-13 13:47:11

I know I'm going to get flamed and I'm not being facetious(sp), but why do you all do it? Is the upside worth it? I'm thoroughly put off.

Mamatomanymunchkins Mon 02-Sep-13 13:53:48

Feeling for you all x

Mine are 11, 8, 5, 3 and 6 months ~ gave up with everyone having their own beds as all like / need to co-sleep. 2 super king and 2 king beds so they can snuggle in with whoever they choose without anyone being squashed or falling out bed. If too many come in with us DH just moves elsewhere! Basically, they can sleep where they like as long as everyone gets a sleep. Friends think sleeping arrangements in our house are mad but it works for us smile

I feel your pain. I have 7mo twins. I am so brain washed and dog tired that I consider being woken 5 times a good night. They will sleep eventually won't they?!

ElleBelly Mon 02-Sep-13 14:22:05

It's worth it, times a million. Now DS is fast asleep on me with boob drunk face, and DD amusing herself being a pirate I have forgiven them both. I am still in pjs and no lunch yet but ah motherhood!
You can quote me back to myself hourly tonight if you like....

ZingWantsCake Mon 02-Sep-13 14:37:10

purr the older four are no trouble as they don't cry and wake others up!

they all sleep in a big wardrobe on different shelves - we just shut the doorsgrin

we do "musical beds" a bit like the munchkins household (high 5! wink )
and DS5 is getting easier to settle (almost 3.5) when he wakes up.

last nighr he fell out of his bed. I heard the thump, heard the cry but I was making a cup of tea so I waited for a few minutes. he stopped whimpering after a minute, and when I checked on him soon after he was back in his bed, fast asleep.

and yes, my name real name is Paul, I'm an octopus and I predict that if unlike me you eventually stop having babies it will get better!

that is until they start coming home in the middle of the night and wake you up for reasons we all remember....grin

Monkeyandanimal Mon 02-Sep-13 14:45:35

same story here. YANBU.

At least there's nobody here saying they're up all hours with a 10year old. So 8 more years then?

purrpurr Mon 02-Sep-13 17:26:18

Zing - snort at them all sleeping in a big wardrobe! grin

My 2 yo who has previously been an excellent sleeper from 14 months hmm has started wakening in the night for daddy cuddles since having the chicken pox 2 weeks ago.

Dd, 8 months, was an excellent sleeper until 5 months. Now she is the devil, and a couple of nights last week had me up every half hour. I actually was horribly ill, and I'm sure it's because I'm so rundown and tired.

I empathise.

AngryFeet Mon 02-Sep-13 18:02:04

Mine are 8 and 6 and we have had unbroken nights for about 2 years now. It happens in the end smile

Deathbyladybirds Mon 02-Sep-13 18:05:48

Children are bastards. No one tells you this before you have them.

onepieceoflollipop Mon 02-Sep-13 18:08:33

It did happen for us in the end, dd2 was about 4 iirc. Thing is, even after 1.5 years of fairly good sleep, I am disproportionately unhappy if one of them wakes me now, even for genuine reasons. Oh and I do one night a week on call overnight (for work, not dcs!) and I begrudge every minute of it.

NeopreneMermaid Mon 02-Sep-13 18:27:21

PMDD is spot on with people telling you to enjoy their cute, tiny days but it's impossible to enjoy anything when you're so tired for so long. I thought their was something wrong with me for hating the time.

I do wonder sometimes how much (in my case) is pnd and how much is just being knackered.

Mine are 3 and 1 and we've had five-week stints of hourly wakings. They're better now but I could not do that first year with two again if you paid me.

NeopreneMermaid Mon 02-Sep-13 18:28:41

*there. See how tired I am (spent last night on floor of 3yo's room while she puked).

EugenesAxe Mon 02-Sep-13 22:08:10

I saw this last night and went searching for it specifically to find out your DCs ages. Ours are 3 and 1 (22m) and the other month they did both sleep through and we woke naturally. I realised how conditioned I'd become to stumbling out of bed to deal with one or other of them (even if only for a little while), as I felt amazing and wide-eyed in wonder.

Every now and then I think your thread title. I recite like a mantra 'It will pass'.

I'm not even that sleep deprived really; they usually settle quickly or DS can sleep with me happily and I'm not disturbed by him. It's just amazing how much a difference sleeping without being aroused at all makes to my energy levels.

washngo Mon 02-Sep-13 22:14:12

I have a 5yo, 3yo and a 5 month old. Last night I was up at 11, 1.00, 2.30, 5.30 then 7am. A good night. So tired I am balanced on the edge between just about holding it together and total hysteria.

thebody Mon 02-Sep-13 22:34:50

you never ever forget this torture of sleepless nights.

oldest 23 now was bloody awful until cc at 2.

other 3 as bad and all had cc... it was my magic spell. it was paradise pill.although I know not for everyone.

they do all eventually sleep and this holidays it's waking the teens up that's the problem.

but you don't want to hear that.

Maggietess Mon 02-Sep-13 22:43:04

YANBU ut please please take solace from the fact that they do seem to eventually sleep longer no matter how bad they were at the start.

Dd1 was a just horrid sleeper, up around 4 times a night til she was 18mths. Dd 2 slept good at the start but now up 3 times a night aged 3. DS is an angel!!!

Dd1 now would sleep 12 hours happily, has done since she was 3.5 and started school. Dd2 has just started school and is knackered, suddenly needing more sleep... I think hope, whilst rocking in a corner it's all going to get better now please don't disagree, I will cry!!

MammaTJ Mon 02-Sep-13 22:46:49

YANBU, I know the feeling well. We have a just 8 year old and a nearly 7 year old and still wait for that dream where they both sleep through the night!

BodaciousTatas Mon 02-Sep-13 22:53:04

I used to have to plead with dd to go to sleep, she was a complete mare until she was about 8.

Today reader she is 14, I got home from work at 2.30pm and she was still in sodding bed, I did the decent thing and vacuumed the house.

ZingWantsCake Mon 02-Sep-13 22:55:01

Bodacious grin

hmm, I still think you were gentle. next time - hose her down!grin

BodaciousTatas Mon 02-Sep-13 22:57:35

She is more than making up for the 8 years of not sleeping. Now I am too old to sleep in past 8am.

mumofweeboys Mon 02-Sep-13 23:49:42

I swear mine r up in the bedroom planning. The one night the baby was actually sleeping my other 2 woke my every hour taking turns gahhhhh

stopgap Tue 03-Sep-13 00:04:55

I feel for every single one of you. A lack of sleep throws everything off for me: my thyroid, my hormones, my (mostly) happy demeanour. I become a hollow shell, replete with spots and sunken eyes.

My two-year-old sleeps like a dream, but the sleep deprivation thing is one of the things I'm utterly dreading about DC2's arrival in January.

anonacfr Tue 03-Sep-13 10:11:14

Zing needs to change her name to ZingTheOctopus...

purrpurr Tue 03-Sep-13 10:15:02

Absolutely! Or ZingOctupi. Tee hee!

Whereisegg Tue 03-Sep-13 10:45:19

Ok, I realise some of you may want to hunt me down and kill me for asking, but....
What on earth are children over say, 3, getting up for so often in the night?!

I thought my ds was bad enough not sleeping through til 14 months, but some of your stories make me feel so sad/bad for you!

(this really is a genuine question and not intended to get people's backs up, so apologies)

ZingWantsCake Tue 03-Sep-13 11:15:31

anona and purr grin

whereisegg the ones I heard are up studying for their French and Philosophy exams!
Although mine is doing an essay on "The significance and applications of Nanotechnology in intergakactic travel - aka how to build a shuttle to the Moon"grin

ah, apart from illnes it's usually stuff like bad dreams or they wet themselves or falling out of bed.

ZingWantsCake Tue 03-Sep-13 11:15:49

*intergalactic

Whereisegg Tue 03-Sep-13 16:32:54

grin

I understand illness and bedwetting, but I got the impression that the older children were still very unreliable sleepers (ie every night) and I just wondered why?

Is it habit or.....?

Lambsie Tue 03-Sep-13 16:47:17

My son, nearly 7, wakes for 3 or 4 hours every night and that is with sleep medication.

CatAmongThePigeons Tue 03-Sep-13 18:07:09

My 19 month old has, of recent, enjoyed getting me up 20-30 times a night. He goes to sleep at 7ish and is ready for the day at 0430. <scowls and sobs>

TheFowlAndThePussycat Tue 03-Sep-13 18:47:28

Bad dreams, too hot, too cold, something hurts the aforementioned itchy bottom lost toys, wet beds, drink of water, feel sick (not actually sick)....

I have Samuel L Jackson reading Go the F*ck to Sleep on a loop in my head.

marryinhaste Tue 03-Sep-13 18:55:22

Another one signing in with matchsticks propping my eyes open.

I have a 5 and 2 yo and the 2 yo only recently slept through for the first time. His sister woke that night, and he has rarely done it again since. I'm a lone parent, so have to do every sodding night and haven't ever bothered with a babysitter as I know they will get the golden hours til midnight when they sleep, and I'd have to deal with the waking hours when I get home. So I don't go out.

I just bought a Nespresso machine - helps me get through the day! grin

ClairesTravellingCircus Tue 03-Sep-13 19:01:13

Yeah yeah to nespresso. First thing I do when I get woken up before 7am! I have nearly 19 month old twins and seriously sleep deprived. The few times they have both slept through at the same time I had dd1 or dd2 up with nise bleeds or hirmonal problems, or being sick...

Whereisegg Tue 03-Sep-13 21:53:17

4:30am!

I could cry for you all sad

cheeseandbiscuitsplease Tue 03-Sep-13 22:15:42

Mine are 8 and 4. Neither sleep through. Never have. 2005 was the last time I slept properly. Honest to god.

madmomma Tue 03-Sep-13 22:18:53

YANBU; little beggars.

hooochycoo Thu 05-Sep-13 03:54:21

ffs. every night, it's one of them.

TurnOffTheTv Thu 05-Sep-13 04:11:35

Tonight it's been all three of mine. The bastards. I've had 30 mins sleep since 11pm. They are all now flat out and I can't get back to sleep the fuckers.

fiverabbits Thu 05-Sep-13 05:20:54

I have 2 DC, my DD slept 12 hours a night and 3 hours a day, then I had DS who slept 30 mins in day, not the same time as DD and 30 mins a night. I have been an insominac since a child so I coped well with the sleepless nights and didn't fall asleep in the day by never sitting down. Now the DCs are grown up and love to sleep at least 9 hours a night I still can't sleep all night and never get a lie in either. The last time I slept for 9 hours in 2005 I had concussion, it was worth a bang on the head with a cupboard door for a good nights sleep. Tonight I was still awake at 1 am, woke up at 2.45 and still awake at 5.15, if I am lucky I will get back to sleep at 7 to get up at 8. The annoying thing is that I am now retired and 61 so I don't have to get early and could lie in bed all day and night but I just can't sleep.

pongping Thu 05-Sep-13 05:34:35

Love finding this thread. My 6mo has been up for around two hours in the night every night for the last few weeks. And he makes such a fecking racket!

He has previous form for then waking up my nearly three year old, who then won't go back to sleep until around 10am the next day. He is a very light sleeper.

For this reason we now have two double beds and one of us is in each with one of the boys. DH gets to sleep through the night and then rise early doors with DS1, and I get biscuits and tea at 3am and then go back to bed for a bit.

The most depressing thing is how badly three years of no sleep has aged me sad.

Right, DS2 just dropped off again. Night all.

CuriosityCola Thu 05-Sep-13 05:41:48

Alana we have two double beds. I'm actually jealous of my dh. My toddler and dh are getting a great sleep, though an early start. I have our 3 month old that tried the whole sleep thing and has decided to give it a miss hmm He has just decided to fall back to sleep, but ds1 will be up in 20 mins.

Another here who fantasises about a hotel stay. Especially with room service as I'm hungry grin

wickedwitchNE Thu 05-Sep-13 06:10:38

Oh dear. Currently expecting my first baby, wondering why on earth I clicked on this thread. Ignorance is bliss!

Think I might use the next 3 months to store up as much sleep as possible, that works right?!

PigOnStilts Thu 05-Sep-13 06:18:07

Oh. Didn't realise this bollocks went on for years.

Do you get your looks back once you get more sleep, or will I look like a wrinkly jowly old witch forever? (Vain)

GrassIsntGreener Thu 05-Sep-13 06:53:37

Yup. An almost 1yo and an almost 5yo here. The eldest finds things like having a runny nose or not being comfy to wake us up about, waking the youngest. confused

CarpeVinum Thu 05-Sep-13 07:02:08

I feel for you.

My son is now 13, but I have not forgotten the 6 fecking YEARS where he did not sleep through the night.

I am currently yelling "School! Get up!!" at three minute intervals. It's annoying, but there is no comparison with the zombie years when I stumbled through life in a fog of knackeredness and sleep deprivation.

Ours almost never wake up now after what seemed like a lifetime of what you describe. They're 4.5 and 2.5. We're very excited about not having any more children. smile

This thread provides very little comfort to someone with a 23 month and a 6 month babies. What is it about 5am that wakes them up?!? And why poo as soon as you wake up and then scream cry until you get changed. Mummy wants to lie in bed ignoring you but no! Scream crying is unignorable!

hooochycoo Thu 05-Sep-13 13:50:27

it makes life so so hard. today's just been shite

TurnOffTheTv Thu 05-Sep-13 14:48:49

Same here. I've barely moved from the sofa. Just doing the school run wiped me out. 90 mins total sleep altogether, and I've got a cold. My poor toddler has watched endless tv. I just cannot summon up the energy for anything. Dreading the other two coming back from school and doing crappy tea time stuff hmm

nethunsreject Thu 05-Sep-13 14:52:37

Ugh, feeling your pain fellow parents.

It's crap, but I feel less alone

NeopreneMermaid Fri 06-Sep-13 08:06:45

My 3yo is now waking from nightmares and this escalates into full-blown screaming tantrums for 40+ minutes. At 2.30am. I am so tired (in every sense) of this shit. sad

moustachio Fri 06-Sep-13 08:22:05

After having my Ds, there is no way we're having another one!! I just cried for the first year, it was awful! I agree that one day they'll just click. I didn't even realise until a few months after and someone asked how he was sleeping and I replied "really well actually!!

Itchy bottoms at night are v likely to be treadworms (sorry), but at least you can take a pill for those and sleep is restored. No such pill for tantruming nearly 4 yr old who wants blackcurrant. Yes looking at you ds. He woke dh eventually so gave up and handed over to him!!

My 8yr old sleeps through almost anything. 6yr old has a pea sized bladder - no upstairs toilet so then paddy about not wanting to go downstairs alone (though do leave a light on for this purpose), ds will wake randomly- nightmare, needs a wee, ooccasionally already done a wee or of course because he feels like blackcurrant instead of the water next to his bed which he knows is the only drink allowed. I would say now that we probably get woken twice a week by one or the other. Unfortunately so conditioned to wake up my body just wakes up anyway.

TheFowlAndThePussycat Fri 06-Sep-13 10:02:45

That did occur to us bunnies - I checked and no worms in evidence. As it was a one-off itchy bottom I thought probably not worms after all. Might be wrong though ... Any advice?

They're not always easy to spot, but hopefully not those, if it happens again then take a torch in for a peek before you go to bed, also any poos - sometimes if you wait a few minutes you will see movement.

Also make sure that you all follow general hygine even if no definite evidence- short finger nails, wash hands as soon as they get out of bed in the morning etc. Onesie pj help too! If there are visitors then you need to medicate everyone, boil wash all bedding, underwear, towels etc and deep clean everything. Eggs can live for months and easy to catch from other children at nursery etc. <shudders with the memory, maybe I'll stick with blackcurrant demands>

TheFowlAndThePussycat Fri 06-Sep-13 13:31:46

Thanks bunnies, I knew there must be some good reason for onesies! I'll do some boil washing as a precaution and keep an eye out for signs.

Not only do kids prevent you from sleeping, they subject you to this kind of horribleness!

(Wouldn't be without them obvs grin)

bragmatic Fri 06-Sep-13 14:45:05

I'm still not totally convinced that my lot didn't conspire together before bedtime.

Psssst!!! Whose turn is it to wake her up?

portraitoftheartist Fri 06-Sep-13 20:59:07

My kids are older but when they woke us repeatedly in the early years, my Gran said it didn't happen when she was a mum to 6 because they didn't let it happen. Babies were never fed or attended to in the night and if a child came downstairs after being put to bed they were sent straight back.
I couldn't do that and had 5 years of broken sleep. So it's all our own fault, according to Gran.

hooochycoo Sat 07-Sep-13 06:32:57

i'd ignore them if they didn't make such a god awful noise.

Rewindtimeplease Sat 07-Sep-13 07:12:19

I feel for you all so so much.

I just have to comment though, to first time pregnant who come to this board to morbidly have a look. These stories really are very extreme indeed. I say this as a mother of a six month old and three yr old. I've seen broken nights, to be expected, but nothing, not even close, to this scale, and out of my group of friends, only one experiences anything close.

TheFowlAndThePussycat Sat 07-Sep-13 07:54:33

The problem is, you don't know which of the wakings don't need attending too iyswim. I doubt your gran left any of her children in a wet bed, portrait, or having thrown up on themselves. Once they have yelled and you've got up to have a look they damage is done!

I might be a bit soft on nightmares though as I have terrible ones where my blood runs cold and I wake up screaming - I couldn't leave one of the kids alone if they were experiencing that. I do think that this has led 'I've had a bad dream' to become an excuse for getting us up that they know will be acceptable!

I do think hope that we are reaching a turning point with this as the little one (the worst culprit) is become better able to deal with whatever it is (covering herself with duvet or whatever) and get herself back off to sleep.

PigOnStilts Sat 07-Sep-13 08:55:49

No. You have to go to an upset child..more so than a baby actually ...with a baby you can at least look at the clock and decide what it might be

NeopreneMermaid Sat 07-Sep-13 14:51:26

The unbelievable happened: both of mine slept through last night and let me get 8 hours! It's amazing how much better I feel.

Bunnies, would it be worth having a potty in his bedroom for night tiddles?

hooochycoo Fri 20-Sep-13 05:13:56

I fucking hate this baby. Been three hours now she's been screaming. Fucking eighteen months if this shit, at this point I just hate her

LovesBeingOnHoliday Fri 20-Sep-13 06:15:07

Oh sweetheart, can someone else take over today? Can you stay at a relatives this weekend and let them get up with tge baby?

hooochycoo Fri 20-Sep-13 07:20:21

She's an utter nightmare. By this stage with my son, we were able to go away for weekend and leave him with grandparents. Not so this baby. They've had her for a night and were visibly greyed and shocked.

differentnameforthis Fri 20-Sep-13 11:30:28
ipswichwitch Fri 20-Sep-13 11:45:29

It's the constant implication that we're obviously doing something wrong that we get from the ILs that boils my piss more than anything. At least MIL has packed it in for now after she stayed over a few nights ago because DH wa so tired he was a danger to himself and I've been ill.

I know DS is teething (molars), but its been going on for fecking ages, now I'm starting to worry he's developed a calpol habit that's waking him every night. That'll look good - taking a 2 year old to rehab....

I look about 112 and there's not a make up product nor industrial filler in the world that will conceal the bags under my eyes. I'll start saving now for the plastic surgery I'm gonna need by the time this little bugger finally sleeps (sob)

Pinkdaisy4 Fri 20-Sep-13 11:54:19

different I laughed and cried through that!

noavailablename Fri 20-Sep-13 11:58:22

I remember thinking, as I was being wheeled along the hospital corridor into the operating theatre, "at least I will get an hour's sleep".

That was when mine were 3.5 and 1.5.

MoneyMug Fri 20-Sep-13 12:01:16

My 2 year old wakes up every hour (at least) and the 2 month old wakes up every 2 hours. Every night.

sadsadsadsadsadsadsad

I don't know what it feels like to sleep longer than half an hour anymore.

NeopreneMermaid Fri 20-Sep-13 12:34:35

Yes to the surgery! I've looked forward to two rounds of invasive surgery this year because at least I'd get to lay down for a bit. I've even fantasized about a lorry driving into me in my car so I can get some rest (death counts, right?).

NeopreneMermaid Fri 20-Sep-13 14:47:03

On a more practical note, Hooch have you tried your SureStart Centre? My local one was brilliant for advice (and just general support on being utterly exhausted and broken by it).

ipswichwitch Fri 20-Sep-13 15:44:12

Do you think I could wangle some sort of operation too so I can get some bloody sleep? I'm sure they could take my appendix or something equally pointless. The thought of being under general anaesthetic seems rather pleasing at the moment!

hooochycoo Sat 21-Sep-13 07:20:51

Gosh yes. A nice long anesthetic. For the children. Administered every night at 7 and wearing off 12 hours later

FjordFiesta Sat 21-Sep-13 07:59:15

May I offer some hope in the form of a night alone at a Premier Inn for £29. Lovely sheets. Lovely pillows. Lovely shower. Lovely buffet breakfast. Checkout at noon. Just don't pick one near a main road or Heathrow. I promise you, once you've just booked it you will feel incredibly happy.

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