It's a public toilet, bloody hurry up!

(71 Posts)
Kendodd Wed 28-Aug-13 22:45:15

What are they doing in there? Massive line, and I swear some people are in there for ten minutes. AIBU to ask, if you are a toilet hogger, what are you doing the bloody crossword?

onepieceoflollipop Wed 28-Aug-13 22:48:26

Obviously some people have genuine reasons for taking ages...but surely not all.

I sometimes think that when people have been waiting ages (for toilets, changing rooms, playground equipment etc), they feel entitled to spend as long as the like when it is finally their turn!

inneedofsomehelpplz Wed 28-Aug-13 22:50:59

yabvu - i suffer from ibs & people like you make it worse! biscuit

sonlypuppyfat Wed 28-Aug-13 22:51:33

What women find to do in the toilet amazes me, they can't all have their periods. I could understand it if we were all in crinolines and corsets but come on pants down quick wipe and flush whats so hard

dreamingoflavender Wed 28-Aug-13 22:52:13

yanbu

I do sometimes wonder if there is some underwear I don't know about.

inneedofsomehelpplz Wed 28-Aug-13 22:52:48

& yes, after waiting ages, people love to spend hours in a germ ridden, stinky public toilet biscuit

Spikeytree Wed 28-Aug-13 22:53:13

Disability, IBS, flooding heavy period etc. Surely it isn't that hard to imagine?

pigletmania Wed 28-Aug-13 22:53:45

YABVVU some people have medical problems which mean they have to take longer

sonlypuppyfat Wed 28-Aug-13 22:56:21

Yes but surely 9 out of 10 cannot all have problems men don't set up camp in the loos

SeaSickSal Wed 28-Aug-13 23:00:25

Having a shit. Is it that hard to understand?

tryasimight Wed 28-Aug-13 23:03:56

Waiting for the fricking cistern to refill before you can actually flush the bugger, surely?

Spikeytree Wed 28-Aug-13 23:06:16

I'm generally very quick (except when having a dreadful period) as I don't find public toilets very pleasant, but my mum takes a while. She has crutches, wears a back brace that needs adjusting and any movement causes pain, so she is slower than most people.

There are probably a lot more women than men with difficulties in this area because of childbirth and consequent damage, plus we have periods. Also we have to go and do the whole disrobing and sitting down thing every time, so anyone with stiff joints, arthritis, whatever may struggle. Men only have to undo a zip and whip it out most of the time, lucky them.

sonlypuppyfat Wed 28-Aug-13 23:14:13

Why don't they just make more womens toilets and give you room to get in them, I'm sick of having to climb on the seat to close the door

EndoplasmicReticulum Wed 28-Aug-13 23:14:34

It might be my son in there, doing a poo. Impossible to rush him. He seems to prefer pooing in public toilets.

PenguinBear Wed 28-Aug-13 23:18:32

I've never known anywhere have just one toilet, they usually have Atleast two or three... Where are you going with only one toilet?

And yes I agree, waiting is annoying, e.g. if you're somewhere like the theatre when everyone goes at the same time. Even trickier when you have IBS and if you don't get to the toilet within about 30seconds you will poo yourself blush. Then when it finally is your turn you have to spend ages cleaning yourself up with baby wipes from the nappy bag and making yourself fit to actually get home.

K8Middleton Wed 28-Aug-13 23:23:42

They are waiting for it to flush.

I'm of the opinion that if the loo is busy you get out and give people the option of using/waiting for flush if it's just a wee.

Or they're all wearing spanx.

RegainingUnconsciousness Wed 28-Aug-13 23:25:47

blush oh no, we were guilty of this today. DS is 2 and takes aaaaages, and gives commentary.

Sorry if you were waiting for us.

Tiptops Thu 29-Aug-13 00:10:04

I very, very, very rarely use a public toilet as I have OCD and fears of contamination. When I do absolutely have to use a public loo I do take a while; I baby wipe the seat, then use antibacterial gel on it and finally cover it with tissue. And that's all before I've used the loo!

teacherandguideleader Thu 29-Aug-13 00:14:27

If there is a queue and just one toilet it takes me ages. It is as if I get performance anxiety - I just can't go!

teacherandguideleader Thu 29-Aug-13 00:16:24

EndoplasmicReticulum - my boyfriend is always proud when he does a poo in a public toilet (saves us money on toilet paper and water is his reasoning). He gets even more excited if it was at work - not only has he saved money, he was also being paid at the time. One day he will grow up!

Maggietess Thu 29-Aug-13 00:21:34

Sorry I'm one of those holding you up. But one of the most stressful s in the world when you have ibs/ibd like I do is some inconsiderate so and so rattling the handle. I'm not in there for the sake of it. And if you're not similarly afflicted, disabled etc then wind your neck in and be glad you CAN actually wait for someone else to leave the toilets. There are many people like me who can only leave e house having assured themselves of the route to the nearest toilet and who break out in a cold sweat when they realise there's only one toilet and they may have the humiliation of someone like you on the other side tutting that they're taking so long.... Or worse still that the one toilet is occupied and you can't wait any longer. It's horrific and more common place that you seem to believe. Unless you've walked the proverbial mile I'd suggest you don't know what it's like and your post is at best unkind, yabu

VixZenFenchell Thu 29-Aug-13 00:25:23

Pants, tights, magic knickers (love 'em), leggings or trousers. All take time to pull up / adjust appropriately.

Or enjoying 5mins in peace which is never an option when I use the loo at home!

Noideaatall Thu 29-Aug-13 00:30:21

I took ages yesterday. I had to use the breast pump because I was apart from DS3 and there was nowhere else to go.
Usually I'm v quick though & I did wonder why people took so long. Now that's cleared up, can anyone tell me why they take so long at cash points...?

MisselthwaiteManor Thu 29-Aug-13 05:43:13

There are really annoying public loos near me with an auto flush, I can't figure out how to make them flush so I spend ages darting around the cubicle trying to figure out where to stand to make it flush. But as everyone else has said, there are loads of reasons people might need to take a while. It won't hurt you to wait another 2 minutes.

Tee2072 Thu 29-Aug-13 06:34:36

Reading War and Peace. Just to piss you off.

Have some compassion, FFS.

Purple2012 Thu 29-Aug-13 06:45:19

I hate it when people take ages, especially when you hear them flush then they spend 5 minutes pulling up trousers etc. It is a problem for me as I need to go to the toilet a lot (often 40 times a day). I can't have a drink when I get up as I would need to go to the toilet half a dozen times before I can leave the house and get the bus to work so I can't risk it.

Bippidee Thu 29-Aug-13 06:51:38

I think it's about perceived length of time spent, both in a loo and cash points!

If you're desperate for the loo, it can seem like the people in front of you are taking ages, but I bet no matter how fast I am, there will be someone behind me thinking "hurry up!" .

Likewise cashpoints. You want something quickly, so you are impatient.

(Disclaimer: I have never set out to prove/disprove my idea above!)

Thepowerof3 Thu 29-Aug-13 06:57:40

I wish some people would treat them better and we can have more of them, Another IBS sufferer here and I struggle having to wait there is Bly one loo. I've waited ages before to find the person before me was having a fag in there

williaminajetfighter Thu 29-Aug-13 07:00:45

Aside from people with medical problems etc i generally just think people are slow. There are a lot of people in No RUsh At All who are happy to stretch out the day and every task takes for ever. Heck why rush?

Those people in the stalls are the same ones at the Royal Mail counter spending 20 minutes posting one parcel!

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful Thu 29-Aug-13 07:04:24

Well I'm going to go against the flow and say YANBU.

I don't think the op is referring to women with toddlers, if you are stood in a queue and the woman emerges after a long time with a two year old its pretty obvious why she has taken so long.
I get ibs d quite badly and when you've got to go you've got to go, unfortunately it's pretty bloody obvious by the smell that I'm doing a poo and that's why I'm taking so long.

I've been in long toliet queues and have wondered why the hell it is taking so long, no one has a toddler, unless they are very lucky and their shit doesn't have any scent at all no one needs a poo and not everyone can be on their period.

I have had conversations with friends wondering just what the hell these women are up to, her theory was they were all heroine addicts grin

I'm guilty of hogged the toliet due to ibs and wishing everyone would just fucking hurry up because I'm stuck in a queue and am it feels like I might shit myself at any moment.

Bertrude Thu 29-Aug-13 07:05:46

teacher my husband does that too. He's even been known to go to work early if he's desperate for a shit (he works 5 mins from home) so that he can clock in and THEN shit.

I sometimes take a while as I'm waiting for someone else to flush their loo so that I can fart. I know deep down that people can still hear my fart, but I think that it might disguise who has done it. I also realise that toilets are an acceptable place to fart so I shouldn't be embarrassed, but I have public-fart-ishoos.

So maybe they are all holding their farts.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful Thu 29-Aug-13 07:06:55

purple I hate it when people take ages, especially when you hear them flush then they spend 5 minutes pulling up trousers etc

You are so right, this really gets on my tits.

UnicornsNotRiddenByGrownUps Thu 29-Aug-13 07:07:59

YABU. No-one is going to be sitting thinking 'oh isn't this nice I'll just stay here a while longer'. If they are taking ages get over it!

Lazyjaney Thu 29-Aug-13 07:12:15

This pees me off too (as it were), WTF are they doing in there? I doubt they all have ibs etc etc etc, yet there is always a line out the door while the men seem to be able to let it out pdq.

Maybe they should have open toilets like men do so no one can faff around without it being obvious.

I always look at the "why do men take so long to poo" threads on MN and go hmmmm......

MrsHoarder Thu 29-Aug-13 07:17:36

Well a good half I of my public toilet visits are during the heavy part of my period so I'm sat there feeling sick, pouring blood due to flooding. Plus I'm a shy peeer, takes me ages when someone's listening.

pudcat Thu 29-Aug-13 07:17:40

YABU I have IBS and sometimes I can be in there a good 10 minutes. Unavoidable. As a matter of interest next time you go to a public loo time yourself from the exact second you walk in to the exact second you walk out. I think you will be surprised, especially if it doesn't flush straightaway.

pigletmania Thu 29-Aug-13 07:20:10

Lazy female urinals that will sirt the priblem. I think in some countries they do

EndoplasmicReticulum Thu 29-Aug-13 16:26:57

teacher - my husband always poos on work time. I prefer to go at home (also I'm a teacher, I don't have time to poo at work).

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 29-Aug-13 17:08:25

If you really can't wait you could always nip into the disabled....

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 29-Aug-13 17:08:57

Sorry, couldn't resist!

EvaBeaversProtege Thu 29-Aug-13 17:14:25

My colleague lives 5 mins from office & rolls into work, shits, makes coffee, rings his mum, THEN starts work.

It pisses me off. He forces himself to shit before home time too - we know it's to save on toilet roll.

Yonionekanobe Thu 29-Aug-13 17:35:19

Extreme example but I was at a cricket match recently and went to the loo to find I had a slight bleed at 20 weeks pregnant. All was fine thank goodness but I was in there an age. My anguish wads not helped by a lady outside the cubicle exclaiming (despite the fact there was more than one) that I was taking too long, and saying some very unkind things.

Realise this is a rare case but you never know...

teacherandguideleader Thu 29-Aug-13 17:37:47

EndoplasmicReticulum - my DP really can't grasp the fact that if I need to go to the loo mid lesson I have to hold it and by the time I get to the loo I've lost the urge! He reckons it is a breach of human rights. I could get away with leaving my sixth formers but I would hate them to think 'oh Miss has been ages, bet she's having a poo' -and I teach the kind of kids that would say something!

vtechjazz Thu 29-Aug-13 17:48:46

I once stood waiting in a huge line for toilets in debenhams once....one cubicle had been occupied for ages, eyebrows were raised, comments made etc.....the door opens and an old woman saunters out with an armful of clothes she had been trying on!

McNewPants2013 Thu 29-Aug-13 18:24:05

teacherandguideleader your post made me laugh.

I tend to take forever, but i am a slow at peeing.

EndoplasmicReticulum Thu 29-Aug-13 18:34:26

I can't leave, not allowed to leave the lab. So would have to put class in the corridor first. Can't see that happening.

EndoplasmicReticulum Thu 29-Aug-13 18:35:19

vtech - similar happens in the toilets at the beach. Most of them are being used for cubicles for people to get into their swimming cossies. It takes forever. Why they can't do the dance of the towel instead I don't know.

I often get cystitis if I am out for the day as I don't drink or peer often enough. so if I find I need to go to a public loo it can take ten minutes of feeling shivery and sore before I can get up. it is horrible and being stuck with a queue of people outside doesn't help.

UnicornsNotRiddenByGrownUps Thu 29-Aug-13 18:45:07

I have spent 45 mins * 3 today in the loo. I don't have IBS, I was just ill and it came on suddenly. Have some compassion woman!

AmberLeaf Thu 29-Aug-13 18:58:30

I hate it when people take ages, especially when you hear them flush then they spend 5 minutes pulling up trousers etc

That could be someone like my Mum who has arthritis and has difficulty dressing.

Or a number of other reasons you intolerant bunch.

Do you all think that people enjoy being in a public loo?

teacherandguideleader I used to enjoy a work poo too grin

Jan49 Thu 29-Aug-13 19:18:20

I don't get annoyed with people taking a long time in a toilet. If I'm waiting and desperate, I hope there will quickly be a toilet available but that's my issue not theirs. If I'm a long time it's because I'm having a period.

Purple2012 Thu 29-Aug-13 19:24:03

Yes amber it could be but not everyone who takes ages has a problem with mobility. I often see people come out putting make up back in their bag. Or answer their phone while in there and take ages.

If im intolerant its because I have a bladder problem and when I need to wee I really need to go. If I have to hold it in I am in a lot of pain and I am worried I won't be able to hold it.

A lot of the time people are left waiting because people don't care about inconveniencing other people.

missgrainger Thu 29-Aug-13 19:33:06

Weeing myself laughing at WITMIMS darting around to get the autoflush to work. Stand up? sit down? clap hands? rush to the door? cough?

Snatchoo Thu 29-Aug-13 19:37:42

Sorry Ken - was it Old Swan Tesco?

I had SOD (Suddon Onset Diarrhoea) and tried to blame it on DTS2 but he was having none of it grin.

I did do a courtesy flush in the middle though didn't want to gas the other shoppers

missgrainger Thu 29-Aug-13 19:38:05

Just re-read this thread. How come so many mumsnetters have IBS?

MrsHoarder Thu 29-Aug-13 19:43:07

Long-lasting side effect of childbirth? Its not that rare anyway.

missgrainger Thu 29-Aug-13 19:45:36

It seems unusually common in mumsnetters though - or maybe the MN's with IBS were drawn to this thread?

UnicornsNotRiddenByGrownUps Thu 29-Aug-13 19:54:39

Maybe they are on mumsnet because they are stuck in the house or on the loo!

ArabellaBeaumaris Thu 29-Aug-13 20:01:07

I've spent ages in cubicles expressing breast milk before now.

AmberLeaf Thu 29-Aug-13 20:07:17

missgrainger Id imagine that people with IBS might well be drawn to such a thread.

Its fairly common though I think.

I know several people with it in real life (all women). I also know a lot of women through the prolapse threads that have a great deal of difficulty with bowel movements and urination, it is more common than I used to realise and causes a great deal of distress. But not something a lot of people can talk about openly.

catsmother Thu 29-Aug-13 20:29:38

You surely can't believe that anyone would willingly spend a moment longer than they have to in a public loo ?!? ..... ergo, if someone's taking a long time there's usually a damn good reason for it - as suggested by several posters above ..... the only exception I can think of being gaggles of teenage girls who all squash into a single cubicle and proceed to shriek, squawk and giggle for ages.

Personally, I'm another IBS sufferer. Believe me, I find it mortifying to use public loos when having an attack - you get hot and cold sweats, feel extremely nauseous, endure horrendous cramps akin to contractions, and daren't move for up to an hour (!!) sometimes even though "nothing" happens for several minutes, then you "go" (a bit), followed by another spell of "nothing" - except pain - for several more minutes and so on and so on. It is awful to be in that much discomfort and be sat in an often foul smelling loo (foul smelling before you got there that is), thighs pressed against a malodorous sanitary bin etc - when all you want is the comfort and privacy of home where you're not conscious of every noise you make (beyond your control) and the queue outside - sometimes stood literally right by your door. But the alternative would be to never venture out at all!

I once also miscarried in a public toilet sad .... which meant I took quite a time .... hmm

catsmother Thu 29-Aug-13 20:32:14

Yes, MissGrainger, this thread title was like a red rag to a bull !

Chrissy178 Fri 30-Aug-13 13:41:19

As somebody who has ulcerative colitis and has found myself stuck in the loo for 10-20 minutes at a time on a few occasions before in pain when experiencing a sudden flare, yabu.

I don't like using public loos but the alternatives are to either crap myself or walk around in agony.

LickleLemon Fri 30-Aug-13 13:51:22

Can see both sides of this. I have IBD and have times when I hog the bog blush.

That said I do find some people take an absolute age in the loo and I can only conclude we are a nation of women with hell of alot of issues somewhere down there. Just yesterday I was waiting for a loo in very very long queue in town. When I finally got to the stage of the queue I could see the cubicles (and got excitied that I may soon be able to use the loo) all 8 toilets had the doors firmly closed for what seemed ages before anyone emerged. The queue just did not move for 10 minutes or so.

buttermellow Fri 30-Aug-13 14:33:09

I spent 30 minutes in a public toilet a couple of weeks ago.. I had sudden severe diarrhea and couldn't stand up as it kept pouring. Terrible. I had to use the loo in a pub, then a cafe's, then Asdas as every time it stopped, it started again within a few minutes .. Like someone said when I have a spell I have usually up to 30 mins of contractions, then I go, then 5 minutes of contractions, then I have diarrhea which comes in waves for about 20 minutes. I really can't go any faster.

Also heavy periods, I spent 15 mins in the loo during a theatre interval changing my clothing, trying to discreetly wash with wipes and sort myself out so I didn't cover the theatre seat sad

sonlypuppyfat Fri 30-Aug-13 14:44:03

Oh buttermellow you poor thing that must have been awful, I nearly shit myself when I was 14 I had to run into a ladies hairdressers that was 32 years ago and I can remember it like yesterday

UnicornsNotRiddenByGrownUps Fri 30-Aug-13 15:17:42

buttermellow the former situation has been me for the past few days. Has been terrible but thankfully it started right before I left for work so I managed to be at home instead.

RinseAndRepeat Fri 30-Aug-13 16:49:34

YANBU OP.

This mystifies me too. It is so, so common I cannot believe that it's always due to a legitimate reason.

Loos in theatres, department stores, airports, shopping malls... I've waited aaaages in queues in all of these places wondering to myself 'what the fuck are they all doing in there?'

Happeningagain Fri 30-Aug-13 17:42:27

I'm dreading being the one who pisses someone off tomorrow. I'm off out all day without the baby and will need to top at least twice to express milk. I know from previous experience that the anxiety of being in public makes it far trickier to express, and takes much longer.

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