¨To send a copied and pasted Facebook Conversation to the superior at somebody's work

(268 Posts)

Most of what happens on Facebook just wash over me.
But today I got really really pissed off, and the latent feminist in me made a silent ROAR.

I am a member of a Selling/swap page on Facebook for my home town. A man posted asking if somebody knew a place on Facebook to post a job advert. (Vacant position) He attached a screenshot from his mobile detailing the job. He wrote in slang, outlining it was mostly lifting heavy boxes from delivery vans and putting them in storage, saying "this job is not for women".

A woman posted saying she did not think he could phrase it like that as it was discriminating against women. He replied saying in broad terms "you come and try out this job for a day babe and you will see it is not for women". She replied she worked in health care and did not need another job, she just wanted to point out that she did not think it could be phrased that way. A barrage of abuse from him, and various other men, mocking her being a woman, mocking her working in health care, and saying stuff like "of course, working in health care you have the time to make dumbass replies online" etc

I googled his name. Lo and behold he is general manager of the local branch. He has also taken part in a national reality show similar to Temptation Island, drives a Hot car with a Hot girlfriend in 6th form.

A woman posted saying she did 90kg in weights and would love a job with heavy lifting. He replied, he did not really want to meet a woman who could do that job, as he would not fancy a woman who could do such physical work without problems. He wondered if he should repost on lezbo.org.

His girlfriend posted laughing at all the women who felt affronted that they could not do the job.

He wondered if he should repost and hope that he would not get replies from "half brains" and idiots.

It was most absurd, most of the people posting were trying to help him see that it was against the law to post a job advert that was blatantly discriminating against a specific gender, and that not all men would be able to do that job. He was offensive to all of them.

As he is the gm of the local branch of a privately owned medium sized nationwide company, I am so tempted to email the entire conversation, with 30 comments mocking women and generally just being an arse to head office.

I dont know WHY the whole thing has angered me so much.

Should I just let it go thinking "Just another horrible arse" and be glad I dont actually know him at all.

NatashaBee Mon 26-Aug-13 23:10:53

What a knob. I'd send it.

MrsMeg Mon 26-Aug-13 23:11:53

Crickey, I would be tempted to forward on too. Is the name of his employer in his profile.

LeaveTheBastid Mon 26-Aug-13 23:13:22

What an absolute dickhead.

I'd send it. And hope its a woman he gets a bollocking off.

The name of the employer is in his profile, and mentioned in the ad as well as the FB conversation. He is recruiting on behalf of his employer, in this way.

I was all prepared to say don't do it when I read the title.

Then I read the post.

Do it!! He has posted discriminatory, offensive posts in a public site in the company name . The company have a right to know what their employees are doing in a work capacity, which this clearly was, so they can avoid a potential legal issue.

Revengeofkarma Mon 26-Aug-13 23:14:19

There's a whole other thread in legal matters where I keep saying that the reason this stuff keeps coming to light is because of just this. What used to be "he said, she said" is now "here you go. Here's the transcript."

He's made it public. This isn't even the old chestnut of "it was a conversation between me and a mate and I thought it was private." This is advertising for a job on behalf of said company and being sexist as hell about it.

I would send it in, and I would sign my name to it. He does it because he gets away with it. The only way it will ever stop is is someone doesn't let him get away with it.

Which could also be by applying for the job, getting refused and using the posts as evidence of sex discrimination, but that takes AGES!

CharityFunDay Mon 26-Aug-13 23:14:28

A bit stalkery to send it to his boss, but I'd say the little fucker deserves it. Go on.

Hegsy Mon 26-Aug-13 23:14:42

Gives a poor impression of the company. I'd send it. What an arse!

What a twat he sounds. Yes I would drop him right in it.

trixymalixy Mon 26-Aug-13 23:15:50

Please do. What a dickhead.

GetStuffezd Mon 26-Aug-13 23:16:01

I would. Without question.

tywysogesgymraeg Mon 26-Aug-13 23:17:12

Send it! And let us know what response you get.

TheCutOfYourJib Mon 26-Aug-13 23:17:16

Wow what a knob.
Yes send and update here.

wilkos Mon 26-Aug-13 23:17:59

You have to send it, don't even consider it just send. What a twit.

LookingForwardToVino Mon 26-Aug-13 23:18:19

Most definitely send it!

HeffalumpTheFlump Mon 26-Aug-13 23:18:35

I think you should send it. His attitude is completely unacceptable. I don't think the company will be very happy that their name is being dragged through the mud like this. He needs to be pulled up on his behaviour as he clearly thinks there is nothing wrong with it. Definitely send it.

IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou Mon 26-Aug-13 23:18:43

I was all prepared to tell you to keep your beak out but having actually read the OP I think you should send it.

FuzzyWuzzywasaWoman Mon 26-Aug-13 23:18:46

Do it. Can you send it to the press too?

meditrina Mon 26-Aug-13 23:18:55

I'm another who would usually say 'stand clear' from anything that is on FB.

But as the company is identifiable, and what he is proposing is illegal, then yes, I think they should be involved. If it's all a stupid wind up, he'll be able to explain it to them. But

volvocowgirl Mon 26-Aug-13 23:19:01

Send it, also screen shot it all and let it go viral :-)

Jinsei Mon 26-Aug-13 23:19:23

Absolutely yes, send it!

Tortington Mon 26-Aug-13 23:19:24

yes yes send and update. well done you

StephenFrySaidSo Mon 26-Aug-13 23:19:24

deffo do it if it mentions the employer in the job description! shock they will want to know!

BadBuddha Mon 26-Aug-13 23:19:37

Agree with all the above ~ YWNBU ~ send it. Awful and outrageous!

Send it. Make the fucker sorry.

sooperdooper Mon 26-Aug-13 23:20:17

Yes I'd definitely send it, what a hideous and ridiculous man

I agree it gives a very poor impression of the company.

Not sure how he got the job in the first place. Reading his actual FB, he keeps asking his friends job related questions, like where do I order refridgeration units, where can i find a welder. There is something broken in x building, how do I fix it? Also stating, I will have to make you some sort of invoice for the work, wink wink - wide open profile. It looks very unprofessional.

Along with shots from his taking part on "Temptation Island".

Selks Mon 26-Aug-13 23:20:29


YouTheCat Mon 26-Aug-13 23:20:57

Do it!

sooperdooper Mon 26-Aug-13 23:21:00

Make sure you do it as a screen shot so he can't say it's been amended in any way smile

extracrunchy Mon 26-Aug-13 23:22:06

Send it!!!

roadkillbunny Mon 26-Aug-13 23:22:18

Send it.
If he had been an idiot and not brought his employer into it then it wouldn't sadly be okay to send it as people can be idiots it their personal lives as much as they like as long as they are professional (and non discriminatory) in their working life however this idiocy was based around a job advert, it was directly linked to his work and shows he is unable to keep his personal prejudice out of his working life. This makes it not only okay to send screen shots to his employer but also IMO your duty to do so.

Send it, definitely.

There are consequences for this sort of fuckwittery.

and copy & paste it here

ShakeAndVac Mon 26-Aug-13 23:23:19

I was all set to say "YABU, what's it to do with you, and just let it wash over you."
Then I read the entire post.
If he's a manager, he's acting extremely unprofessionally, isn't he?! understatement
Which must be bringing his line of business and workplace into disrepute.

Mia4 Mon 26-Aug-13 23:24:55

YANBU but don't c/p-screen cap it. Use PrntScr and paste to paint, even if you have to make segments. It can't be altered in the way a copy/paste can and they'll know it.

Yamyoid Mon 26-Aug-13 23:26:15

Send it.
Stupid man.

Montybojangles Mon 26-Aug-13 23:26:58

I might be a little bit tempted to send it as a screen shot to the local paper too....

TotallyBursar Mon 26-Aug-13 23:27:12

I would be appalled if he was a member of my staff; but I do have to wonder if this has tacit acceptance there.
I find it difficult to comprehend how this attitude would escape me and I would know anyone recruiting for me had the skills to do so. Unless he's completely slipped through the net. He sounds awful anyway.

I hope I'm way off the mark but I will be interested in the response.
YANBU, obviously, do send it. I'm sure illegality will prick up some ears even if nothing else.

OrthodonticUrticaria Mon 26-Aug-13 23:28:08

I'm another who immediately thought YABU on reading the title, but after reading the post, I really think you should.
This is probably the tip of the iceberg with this arsehole.

BitBewildered Mon 26-Aug-13 23:28:51

Send it. I personally would probably tweet the screen shot to everyday sexism too but I am a stroppy bugger.

raisah Mon 26-Aug-13 23:29:01

Send it and let's see if he will be laughing for being a sexist bastard when he gets called up by his employers.

WafflyVersatile Mon 26-Aug-13 23:29:42

or use freezepage. www.freezepage.com/

I too was ready to say no, leave it be but not after reading your OP.

A note to them just pointing out it is illegal. Even if they have the same view that should concern them.

pinkstinks Mon 26-Aug-13 23:29:50

I want you to send it, but if you didn't comment and can't be linked, what if he thinks it was the woman who worked in healthcare? And he would have her name from the conversation...

YADNBU. Definitely screen cap it and his profile. Send it to his company. If they don't respond then tweet it. What an arse.

Darkesteyes Mon 26-Aug-13 23:32:46

yep Send it What an arsehole.

IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou Mon 26-Aug-13 23:35:07

I'd be tempted to tweet it to everydaysexism too and their 90000 followers

I'd send it. I might be a bit of a coward and do it anonymously. If he is a complete twat then he would probably be a twat about being reported.

MaryKatharine Mon 26-Aug-13 23:37:16

You need to send it but avoid sounding like an outraged feminist. If you act as if you are simply pointing out to them that they have a senior member of staff acting illegally and unprofessionally in their name in front of 1000s of potential customers then you will be taken more seriously.
Dickhead that he is.

I did not take part in the conversation.
The whole thing has now been deleted by group admin, so unless he also copied and pasted the convo, he may not remember her name.

I get that some jobs are not suitable for everybody. I am not going to fight for my right to lift heavy cargo, or boxes of organically grown fruit and veg to be delivered to homes and workplaces (think something like Riverford) where the owner really seem passionate about food and veg. It just really jars with the wholesome image they are trying to create.

I would normally say step away but your post shows he has no respect for company morals (I'm assuming they have some!) and I sure HQ would be interested.

ThatVikRinA22 Mon 26-Aug-13 23:42:59

hope you got a copy of it before it was deleted.....another who read the title thinking "noooooo" then read the post and thought "Yessssss"

I did copy before it was zapped.

However, the convo was so long a screenshot did not fit on my small tiny laptop screen, so it is a copy and paste job from bottom to top. Pictures and all.

StephenFrySaidSo Tue 27-Aug-13 00:08:59

glad you got it on time- someone (that he respects- therefore male hmm) must have tipped him off that he was treading on thin ice.

I would send it from the angle that you have assumed it to be the company advertising the job and that they have broken the law by doing so with the attached advertisement- they're likely to take it more seriously than a complaint about one of their staff acting unprofessionally if they think the company itself could get into trouble for something they haven't done.

lagertops Tue 27-Aug-13 00:09:19

do it- someone in the year below me at school was recently in the DM for saying vile sexist things to a feminist campaigner, and the plumbing company he works for are now investigating and might face the sack grin

Isatdownandwept Tue 27-Aug-13 00:26:37

I've advised v large companies on discrimination and am an HR specialist too. I also know you in RL from way back (have name changed many times since).

Please, please send it all to head of HR at company HQ. It is a sackable offence and tbh he deserves to be sacked, although it could,easily result only in a final written warning.

I would also be v tempted to send to everydaysexism and the local rag, too, but I know that would be shallow and vindictive but I'd still fucking do it

depending on how good looking he is and how much of an impact he had in the reality show, the nationals might even fancy this as a story.

nennypops Tue 27-Aug-13 00:50:34

You would be doing his employers a favour by letting them know. If he is recruiting on their behalf, they stand to get into an awful lot of trouble if they don't deal with this immediately.

MusicalEndorphins Tue 27-Aug-13 00:51:21

Please, please send it all to head of HR at company HQ. It is a sackable offence and tbh he deserves to be sacked, although it could,easily result only in a final written warning.

I would also be v tempted to send to everydaysexism and the local rag, too, but I know that would be shallow and vindictive but I'd still fucking do it

depending on how good looking he is and how much of an impact he had in the reality show, the nationals might even fancy this as a story.

I agree with above.

FondantNancy Tue 27-Aug-13 03:41:10

Send it! I'm sure his superiors would love to see that being fanciable is a prerequisite to getting a job at his organisation.

bucylen Tue 27-Aug-13 04:45:22

Yes send it to his employers. It's the smug/ aggressive attitude which gets me. What makes him think that women are less than he is? Different yes, inferior no.
As suggested, would be tempted with the screen shot.

I agree its his tone and continued sexism that's the issue. I would also send it to HR CEO, MD etc and if they don't act the local paper.

HotCrossPun Tue 27-Aug-13 05:22:44

And let us know how you get on OP!

YoniMatopoeia Tue 27-Aug-13 05:35:34

Another "send it" from me.

LittleEsme Tue 27-Aug-13 05:37:00

Do it. It's his twattish response that riled me more than the original ad, tbh. This kind of attitude in a management position needs addressing pretty sharpish.

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 27-Aug-13 05:38:42

Send it!

BrevilleTron Tue 27-Aug-13 05:43:46

Poor little man would have a fit at what I do for a job. Building cars is heavy work.
Send him to me

Send it definitely the longer these attitudes go unchallenged the more prevalent they will be

TiredDog Tue 27-Aug-13 06:06:42

I read the title and came in ready to tell you not to be an interfering nasty piece of work... blush.

Get in there! Send it. He deserves to feel the consequences

ShutTheFuckUpBarbara Tue 27-Aug-13 06:15:13

Send it! He is a twat. I hope it gets him into some trouble.

sparklingstars Tue 27-Aug-13 06:16:34

I would say do it but then I'd also say don't do it because he may be supporting children who would then suffer if he lost his job. I agree that his behavior suggests that he is an odious toad though.

awaywiththepixies Tue 27-Aug-13 06:24:13

Don't do anything. Let them post the advert as he has suggested. Apply for job then sue for sex discrimination when you aren't even offered an interview. Use all the Facebook stuff in support of your claim.

Euphemia Tue 27-Aug-13 06:26:45

^ What they said.

Send it!

Lazyjaney Tue 27-Aug-13 06:27:58

It's been pulled, sending it now is too late. Wait for the Ad to come out.

Send it. If it was my company is want to know. He is damaging the company's reputation and opening them up to legal problems. They deserve to know what's going on so they can deal with it.
I wouldn't send it to the press etc unless the company just ignored it.

zipzap Tue 27-Aug-13 06:37:01

I would also copy his personal Facebook page if you were able to see it publicly and it has lots of work related stuff in. There are several good screen capture extensions available on both firefox and chrome that are easy to use (and once you have them you'll wonder how you ever did without them!)

I wouldn't bother finding out who his superior is, just send it to the HR department as others have said about brining the company into disrepute and showing a blatant disregard for the law. You can say that when you went back to make a proper copy the conversation had been deleted as it had got so bad - if they are interested they can contact the lust owner to see what was said.

KatOD Tue 27-Aug-13 06:45:36

Send it. What a moron.

Portofino Tue 27-Aug-13 06:46:31

I bloody would.

zipzap Tue 27-Aug-13 06:47:33

Oh and how old do you reckon he is?
If I were the company I'd also be worried if he were anything more than very early 20s if he is bragging on his public fb page about having a hot 6th form girlfriend.

All just adds to his general unlikeable attributes!

PedantMarina Tue 27-Aug-13 06:49:03

Send it. Seeeennnnndddd iiiiittttt.

In fact, depending on how you feel about the company as a whole, you may feel free to start the media in on it (the locals, the nationals if they're interested - what a previous poster said about his involvement in that reality show - and everydaysexism) - this will pretty much force the company to take very strong steps, and one of them will almost certainly be sacking the twunt.

Let's see how long he keeps his hot rod and his barely-legal GF without a job...

Please update!

PedantMarina Tue 27-Aug-13 06:51:17

I meant "start the media before getting a reply from them ..."

But if you like the company and really do think this guy is a one-off, you might give them the opportunity to come back to you with a response before doing the media thing.

>sigh< Marina needs coffee...

ZillionChocolate Tue 27-Aug-13 06:53:17

I'd send it to the employer but not to the press unless the company fails to act at all.

gaggiagirl Tue 27-Aug-13 06:58:32

send it send it send it send it.

If people like you don't stand up for what is right these horrible people will continue to get away with their behaviour.

Do it and be our hero!

KingRollo Tue 27-Aug-13 07:02:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 27-Aug-13 07:06:50

email it

LovesBeingOnHoliday Tue 27-Aug-13 07:09:42

Another who started off as no and now screaming yes

Azultrailer Tue 27-Aug-13 07:09:58

Send send send!

LovesBeingOnHoliday Tue 27-Aug-13 07:10:14

Btw I very be very shocked if he got away without being sacked

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 27-Aug-13 07:10:55

If it's the company I'm thinking of they have a brand and reputation that is completely at odds to this twat.


"And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise."

RaspberrySnowCone Tue 27-Aug-13 07:15:42

Send it! He should be sacked. Imagine working with/for him!

VivaLeBeaver Tue 27-Aug-13 07:16:28

I came on here to say don't do it and then read your post. Please send it, sounds awful.

CaptainSweatPants Tue 27-Aug-13 07:18:52

Has op sent it ?!!

Tee2072 Tue 27-Aug-13 07:22:06

Well, it might not hold as much credibility since it was a copy paste and not a screen shot, but, yes, I would send it.

I'm not sure what him being on some reality TV show and having it on his FB has to do with anything, though.

Euphemia Tue 27-Aug-13 07:22:38

"And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise."

You would want to be judged as a professional when conducting business. So should this man.

Send the email already!

Trazzletoes Tue 27-Aug-13 07:22:53

An organic food delivery company? Def report it. I've used both the main companies and they both pride themselves on their delivery drivers. Most likely because they are the only face to face contact you have with the brand.

I would send it. That's absolutely appalling and totally at odds with the ethos of those companies.

Euphemia Tue 27-Aug-13 07:23:44

Tee I think it's about his ego and his view of appropriate ways to conduct business.

JumpingJackSprat Tue 27-Aug-13 07:26:12

Id send it too.

Inertia Tue 27-Aug-13 07:27:05

I think any company would prefer to know so that they can deal appropriately with their employee , rather than face legal action or loss of reputation and custom.

christinarossetti Tue 27-Aug-13 07:27:33

I was also going to say no after just reading the title bit now am deffo in the send it brigade

He hasn't responded well to direct challenges so yes his line manager needs to know how he is representing the company.

I'm yet another one who came on to say don't but read the OP and now think definitely send it. He is damaging the company's reputation by behaving in this way and they have a right to know.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 27-Aug-13 07:33:59

I really do hope you send this OP. so often I read threads on here where people see or hear of something pretty outrageous and nothing is done about it. This brainless woman hating scrotum needs a reality check.

mignonette Tue 27-Aug-13 07:38:14

Please send it on behalf of all women who continue to be discriminated against everywhere.

And as a Health Professional I take real exception to his words. Yet I would still treat him w/ respect and compassion should he ever darken my door.

ChubbyKitty Tue 27-Aug-13 07:50:40

Send it. What a twat.

Maybe he wants to come and get his dinner from my store?

That store where I do all the heavy dough lifting?

Heavy boxes of cheese?

Pulling out massive pieces of industrial kitchen furniture to clean behind it?


And I am not unattractive.

ChocolateBridesmaid Tue 27-Aug-13 07:53:13

Have you sent it?

mignonette Tue 27-Aug-13 07:55:49

My beautiful daughter is up at 3 a.m hand making patisserie and bread. She is five foot nothing and has to have a step stool to reach the ovens whilst carrying a heavy peel full of heavy raw dough. She hand kneads in high temperatures on here feet whilst we all sleep. Then she will soon go off to train at a prestigious Patissiere school doing a full day after her job.

He'd never last that course. And the level of hatred towards women means he knows it too.

Mojavewonderer Tue 27-Aug-13 08:00:52

Please send it! You can't let him get away with that kind of behaviour!

MrsHoarder Tue 27-Aug-13 08:03:03

I'd send it. Don't worry about him: he choose to damage his own reputation by having that conversation in a public arena.

ExcuseTypos Tue 27-Aug-13 08:03:08

I would definitely send it. He shouldn't be incharge of people. He sounds such a knob.

Bloodsocks Tue 27-Aug-13 08:04:56

I hope you've sent it op and their HR department are currently squirming in embarrassment desperately thinking of a reply and getting this guys file out ready to throw in the bin!

mynameismskane Tue 27-Aug-13 08:18:05


NicholasTeakozy Tue 27-Aug-13 08:19:06

I opened the thread fully expecting to say YABU but read your OP with a shock face. YANBU in the slightest to send it. What an arse. Send it.

Tiredemma Tue 27-Aug-13 08:20:53

what a nobhead.

send it.

Bluestocking Tue 27-Aug-13 08:21:40

Definitely send it, but to Head of HR, not to his superior, who may be tacitly or openly just as bad. And send to everydaysexism too. What a pathetic specimen.

Scrubber Tue 27-Aug-13 08:24:45

What Bluestocking said. Please do send it, you'll be doing everyone a favour stopping knobbers like him.

I will send it today. Just trying to work out who best to send it to. The sons of the Old man who started the business ages ago has taken over, and are on the board, but there is no contact information. They have executive positions on many boards in thriving businesses. I am sure they are sharp enough to realize that this type of attitude, even on grass root level is not on. The website list only the sales and production directors, not HR.

squeaver Tue 27-Aug-13 08:41:58

Phone up the head office and ask for the name of the HR Director. If they don't have one, ask for the name if the director with responsibility for HR. Just say you've got something to post to them.

pianodoodle Tue 27-Aug-13 08:42:26

Send it and not just on behalf of women either!

DH is just as disgusted by this attitude as I am angry

Could you call the company to get the name and address of the Head Cheese?

pianodoodle Tue 27-Aug-13 08:43:33

Or the Director... grin

mignonette Tue 27-Aug-13 08:43:33

Phone them up and ask for contact details. Pose as somebody else. Tell them you need email contact details plus HR.

Well done Quint. 'If you're not part of the solution you are part of the problem' is my mantra and so many people look the other way.

hackmum Tue 27-Aug-13 08:43:57

Like others, I was prepared to say yabu, but then I read it! I agree you should send it. His employers should know that one of their managers is doing something illegal because one of these days they could get sued for it.

He sounds thick as well as nasty - always a winning combination.

MumnGran Tue 27-Aug-13 08:50:47

Just google the address for the Head Office, and use that for mailing.
Then google company name + HR Director (followed by alternatives for Director if first shot doesn't work)
Frequently you get a LinkedIn profile result, showing the search string as current post for a named profile .....
Otherwise, its amazing how many pdf's come up, naming responsible individuals within a company.

It just takes time to find the right title.

orangepudding Tue 27-Aug-13 08:54:29

I wouldn't usually say anything but in this case he deserves it - he's being discriminatory and needs to learn it's not okay.

bootsycollins Tue 27-Aug-13 09:00:22

Send it! That idiot deserves to go viral.

blondieminx Tue 27-Aug-13 09:04:59

So glad to hear you are sending it. What a wankbadger he sounds. Please update on the company's response grin

BigW Tue 27-Aug-13 09:12:38

I think you should send it. Reputation is really important and he could do some serious damage to the company by behaving like that on a public forum. Especially as it has now made it from FB to MN. Plus, he sounds like an arse.

I don't think it is vindictive. If you were being vindictive you'd send it to a newspaper.

ems1910 Tue 27-Aug-13 09:13:12

Send! Keep us updated.

waikikamookau Tue 27-Aug-13 09:14:02

send it your The Guardian

CorrieDale Tue 27-Aug-13 09:14:56

Generally I would agree with themaltesefalcon and do as I would be done by. But in this case I think it is more apt to remember that all that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing. So well done quint.

LookAtTheTwain Tue 27-Aug-13 09:17:31

Have you sent it yet?

What a knobber.

Looking forward to the update.

Marking place. I think I'd be tempted to send it

LegoCaltrops Tue 27-Aug-13 09:25:03

Send it. Phrase the email that you're letting them know, in case the lady who made the enquiry complains on the grounds of sex discrimination. They can't really accuse you of being vindictive if you put it like that.

MrsBungle Tue 27-Aug-13 09:26:10

Totally agree - send it. Look up the name of the md and the hr director - send it to both.

msrisotto Tue 27-Aug-13 09:26:15

Apparently all web pages are stored on archive.org/index.php, including deleted ones.

ThisIsaLoooow Tue 27-Aug-13 09:27:24

So glad you are sending it. That is disgusting.

Platinumstart Tue 27-Aug-13 09:30:39

Yet another who was going to say don't be vindictive and is now desperately hoping that you send it and that he is dealt with appropriately.

MakeGlutenFreeHay Tue 27-Aug-13 09:35:17

What a twunt. Definitely forward on.

It would seem "The way back machine" does not work for FB - interesting.

Gretagumbo Tue 27-Aug-13 09:42:27

I was all for 'no way' when I saw the title but when I read the context - do it, do it, do it and report back. This guy needs to know that this is no longer the 1970s. Hope his boss kicks his ass big time.

AcaciaRoad Tue 27-Aug-13 09:45:06

Facebook is hidden behind a log-in, and most if it is not a real "page' as such anyway, but created on the fly: what you see is personal, depending on who your friends are and what your settings are.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 27-Aug-13 09:45:15

DO IT! name and shame too....what a tit.

Good idea to phone head office.

AcaciaRoad Tue 27-Aug-13 09:48:03

If you don't get any response you should go to the press.

Are they on twitter? You could also tweet them, copying in @everydaysexism

(Although possibly worth doing from an account that isn't easily identifiable as you).

gaggiagirl Tue 27-Aug-13 09:49:53

The company will be very interested to learn this information as it will protect them and save their reputation in the long term. They should be very grateful.

I hope that horrible man gets his just deserts.

MillicentTendancies Tue 27-Aug-13 10:03:36

Send it to the workplace and the press too :D

Send it the CEO, anything sent to ours is dealt with in a more serious way than a general complaint.

Daily Wail would love it.

It is for his own good as he obviously needs to be retrained wink

SuperiorCat Tue 27-Aug-13 10:18:15

Another send it!

You would be doing the company a favour - and him in the long run as it will help him understand that he is in the wrong and needs to modify his behaviour.

TheNaughtySausage Tue 27-Aug-13 10:22:12

Send send send!

Inertia Tue 27-Aug-13 10:42:13

Just thinking that if it's not actually Riverford then MN might want to delete their name from the thread , in case they object to the association ( even though Quint only says it's a company like them ). Or am I overthinking things ?

CiderBomb Tue 27-Aug-13 10:50:01

Send it, send it! Put the wanker in his place!

Famzilla Tue 27-Aug-13 10:55:03

Oh yes send it! What a nasty little toad.

and if you want to send it to the local newspapers I think that would be funny too

LookingForwardToVino Tue 27-Aug-13 11:04:12

Did it get sent op?

Groovee Tue 27-Aug-13 11:20:29

Hope you have found an email to send it too x

It is a company like river ford, but NOT them, and not direct competitors either due to geography. They are building a brand on similar principles.

SuperiorCat Tue 27-Aug-13 11:51:12

Quint did say it was not River ford, but like them

Thaumatrope Tue 27-Aug-13 11:53:02

Wah wah a long thread but have you actually sent it yet?

LemonBreeland Tue 27-Aug-13 11:54:43

You definitely need to send it.

ChocsAwayInMyGob Tue 27-Aug-13 11:59:41

When you send it, don't forget to say it's gone viral and is being discussed on Mumsnet which has 50 millions views a month.

That ought to do it.

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat Tue 27-Aug-13 13:03:25


wossgoinon Tue 27-Aug-13 13:05:24

River Ridge?
River Swale
River Nene?

Oh send it!!! xxx

DreamingofSummer Tue 27-Aug-13 13:08:17

Another vote for sent it

WandaDoff Tue 27-Aug-13 13:11:44

Do it.

The stupid bastard deserves everything he gets IMO

Ifcatshadthumbs Tue 27-Aug-13 13:18:31

I agree that you should send it but please make sure the company are aware that you are not the lady in the original facebook convo and ask that they point this out to the moron.

Ifcatshadthumbs Tue 27-Aug-13 13:19:17

Ooh yes send them a link to this thread and threaten to name and shame if they don't take appropriate action!

Boosiehs Tue 27-Aug-13 13:19:56

Totally send it. The company should know what their employees are saying on the Internet about their company.

Like many others, I was going to post totell you to mind your own business and to keep personal Facebook posts separate from people's jobs - but this is totally different, and you should definitely at least point out to the company that this recruitment practice is highly illegal and that you hope it's not company policy.

oh yes send it.

spanky2 Tue 27-Aug-13 13:49:25

What a charmer . Send it to his boss .

Fingerbobs Tue 27-Aug-13 14:00:05

Another one wholeheartedly yelling 'send!' and marking my place for the update.

insancerre Tue 27-Aug-13 14:01:45

have you sent it yet?

MistressDeeCee Tue 27-Aug-13 14:03:13

He's a complete idiot. Don't know if I could send & be the means of him probably losing his livelihood though. There's stuff said on AIBU that I think can be near the mark at times but people get away with it because they're anonymous. Nobody's able to inform on what they've said if its felt to be inappropriate.

Its scary food for thought re.stuff you say on FB possibly being copied & pasted and sent to your employer.

This man should have kept his outmoded discriminatory views to himself.Unintelligent. & fancy going public like that. I'm assuming he was told clearly and succintly how wrong his views were so he already got a good dressing down and knows people's thoughts.

Still don't know if I could go to someone's boss tho. But can understand why some would want to.

PedantMarina Tue 27-Aug-13 14:10:10

Oooh, I have a juicy little update: was talking with a colleague about this, and he pointed out that current Health & Safety law limits the amount that any employee is required to lift to - wait for it - 20 kgs. After that, mechanical assistance must be available.

This was all to do with the Royal Mail, apparently (why one can't post a package larger than 20 kg, apparently), but the standard goes across industry.

Yes, apparently a lot of industries have people happily lifting weights of all sorts, but they're doing it (from a legal perspective) totally voluntarily and to advertise that you must lift more than that is also illegal, quite apart from the blatant sexism.

MistressDeeCee Tue 27-Aug-13 14:10:20

Also a bit concerened someone else may be blamed for sending it or OP may be identified in some way. & if his boss does nothing what's the next step?

AFishWithoutABicycle Tue 27-Aug-13 14:17:29

Send it! If not for woman kind then for the poor man who gets the job and has to put up with this twunt.

MrsWolowitz Tue 27-Aug-13 14:30:14


NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 27-Aug-13 14:37:20

Quint?? Where are youuuuuuu? Coooeee?

Backinthebox Tue 27-Aug-13 14:39:20

PedantMaria there are no weight limits set out by health and safety laws, only guidelines as to how to deal with jobs that require lifting regularly. I work in aviation, and the luggage limit in our company is 23kg, but you can take up to 32kg in a bag if you pay extra for it.

The man in the OP sounds like a dick, but I would be cautious about any c&p-ing. I would be surprised if he works for a national company if this is not already something his boss isn't already aware of.

PedantMarina Tue 27-Aug-13 14:55:10

Intersting, that, Back. Thanks for the correction.

Another thing my friend mentioned (which might be a possibility) is that the guy might be an ex-employee who is deliberately trying to bring the company into disrepute. But to my mind, that would open up a whole 'nother world of legal trouble for him (libel, etc).

Quint - update, please!

send it to his boss and to the papers too'!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 27-Aug-13 20:56:49

Bump...what happened here???

gaggiagirl Tue 27-Aug-13 21:14:49

Bumpity bumpity bump bump bump.......come on what's the craic quint

BruceTheShark Tue 27-Aug-13 22:20:03

Definitely send it. Men like this make countless women's lives a misery in the workplace...they also no doubt bully men or anyone they see to be vulnerable.

He doesn't deserve compassion or your protection.

Hi, sorry, been having some internet problems since midday. I have emailed them this evening. I have no intention of taking this to the media, as that would be ME bringing their name in to disrepute more than this employee, if that makes sense. I will let them deal with it.

Strokethefurrywall Tue 27-Aug-13 22:51:43

Definitely send it - the knob deserves everything he gets. Twat.

Scarletohello Tue 27-Aug-13 22:55:41

Agree with others. Send it. It's completely unacceptable. Also send it to Everyday Sexism project website. Do it for all of us!

Undertone Tue 27-Aug-13 23:04:03

Fuck it - it's not you who has brought their brand into disrepute. It's him. Tell us the name of the company.

Kinect Tue 27-Aug-13 23:15:07

Screen Shot it and send it.


him not you OP.

gaggiagirl Wed 28-Aug-13 06:40:27

Well done quint jolly well done I would do the same in your position.

Sorry to hear about your internet troubles. Glad your back with us.

Yamyoid Wed 28-Aug-13 07:36:53

Great. Will you let us know what they say?

I will update. I am keen to hear their reply!
I mentioned the exchange to some friends I visited yesterday, and I have never seen so many jaws on the floor, and the general consensus was that he was an odious turd, and sadly even in 2013 there are men like this, shocking.

MrsSchadenfreude Wed 28-Aug-13 08:20:55

Unfortunately it wouldn't surprise me if you didn't hear anything back at all...

fluffyraggies Wed 28-Aug-13 08:21:25

Well done OP.

I'd be sorely tempted to get it turned into a poster and stick a few copies up around the vicinity of the companies head office!

Glad you sent it, I hope they take it seriously.

Glad you contacted the company. Will be interested to hear what they do.

LessMissAbs Wed 28-Aug-13 09:41:34

As a legal academic, I find the conundrum presented by this interesting. The trouble is that, unlike racially aggravated assault, harassment, etc, this is not a crime because it is sexually motivated. i do think the time has come to criminalise sexually motivated acts in the same way as racially motivated acts.

As it stands, you are left with trying to find a remedy in civil law, which is inadequate. You could, if you had the time and funds, sue him and his employer for injury to feelings, though im unsure whether you would have title to sue. You could make a claim to an employment tribunal,but again you might lack title to sue. You might want to call ACAS for advice, but at the end of the day, your initial suggestion of cutting and pasting it to his employer, and perhaps also a local newspaper, might be most effective.

Fwiw the SDA 75 does permit sexual discrimination on grounds of physiology, eg if a man has to have a male nurse for reasons of privacy or the job requires certain physiological characteristics, though beyond a hypothetical sperm donor job, im struggling to think of an example! Making a generalization that men are stronger than men is not such an exception, because you get strong women and weak men. I was once on a national team with a woman who was a muscular 6 feet tall, heavier than any of the male team members and fat, far stronger and capable of lifting than your average man on the street. She also had three children. To exclude someone like her from such a job in favour of an untrained or top heavy trained man doesn't make sense.

LessMissAbs Wed 28-Aug-13 09:45:26

Some interesting typos there which I am blaming on my phone!

LJL69 Wed 28-Aug-13 09:54:17

well done

LessMissAbs Wed 28-Aug-13 10:10:31

Had another think about this from an employment law perspective, and the company need to distance themselves from him, as they are leaving themselves open to a disgruntled potential applicant during them for sex discrimination. As he is in effect advertising the job on the company's behalf, and if the company tolerates this, they will be vicariously liable for their employee's actions during the course of employment.

mignonette Wed 28-Aug-13 10:27:52

Quint There are lots of men like him sadly. Well done for sending the FB page.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Wed 28-Aug-13 11:41:58

Any news on this?

No response to email yet.

littlemog Wed 28-Aug-13 15:18:22

Good for your OP. What an absolute odious little prick.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Wed 28-Aug-13 19:29:18

I really hope you get a response and they don't just try to fob it off.

ChasedByBees Wed 28-Aug-13 19:39:58

Wow, so glad you sent this. They won't reply straight away, I imagine they are staring in disbelief thinking 'shiiiiiiiiit'

FrankSpenser Wed 28-Aug-13 19:50:18

So glad you sent the email. All the way through reading this thread, I was channelling Phoebe from Friends:

"Send the email. Send the email. SEND THE EMAIL !!"

Eagerly awaiting response.

AintNobodyGotTimeFurThat Wed 28-Aug-13 19:51:33

I hope he gets a rollicking.

Do it and name and shame on here too...

SybilRamkin Wed 28-Aug-13 19:56:57

Well done OP for sticking up for women's rights, you've done a good thing.

Well done OP! flowers

Picturesinthefirelight Wed 28-Aug-13 20:19:39


Acting comes under that law. You can specify gender when advertising for an actor.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Wed 28-Aug-13 20:58:45

And Women's Aid only employ women.

Catsize Wed 28-Aug-13 21:05:06

And there are religious exemptions...

Anyone ever seen a male bra fitter?

Catsize Wed 28-Aug-13 21:05:32

No link between the above two sentences, obviously!

searching4serenity Wed 28-Aug-13 21:58:58

Marking my place

summermakesmesneeze Wed 28-Aug-13 22:18:14

I'm on tenterhooks for the reply!

LegoCaltrops Wed 28-Aug-13 22:24:10

Assistants in dress shops (ie a wedding dress shop) are generally female. I saw am advert for a job in one a while ago & it said it was exempt from sex discrimination law due to decency (or something like that, I'm paraphrasing).

Would love to be a fly on the wall of their office when they read the email.

quoteunquote Wed 28-Aug-13 22:51:41

As a female builder over the years I have met far too many twonks just like him,

They only express the man grunt stronger thing once around me,

Please please make sure that this gets named and shamed because it would be the greatest gift to our daughters not to be continuity board to death by this shit.

LessMissAbs Wed 28-Aug-13 23:07:00

Pictures LessMissAbs Acting comes under that law. You can specify gender when advertising for an actor

Yes, that's true, that's a good example. Or where overnight single sex accommodation only is available and not easily changed to provide for both sexes.

Booboostoo Wed 28-Aug-13 23:07:18

Shamelessly marking my place to see him get what he deserves.

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Wed 28-Aug-13 23:45:12

Oh well done! I hope they write back...

jumpingpillows Wed 28-Aug-13 23:51:38

Well done OP!

TakingThePea Wed 28-Aug-13 23:53:02

Place marking!!

M0naLisa Thu 29-Aug-13 00:09:31

Any news yet?

ZillionChocolate Thu 29-Aug-13 06:41:27

I think not going to the media is the right thing to do (unless they reply agreeing).

Ilovemypajamas Thu 29-Aug-13 07:30:09

Well done op. Very interested to see what they do next. And off to 'like' the Everyday Sexism fb page if there is one.

PrincessKildare Thu 29-Aug-13 07:44:47

well done! I have a colleague who mentioned our company in a facebook update saying she was bored in work. simple comment got her a verbal warning!

Scrounger Thu 29-Aug-13 09:10:38

OP I doubt you will hear much back other than a 'thank you for bringing this to our attention..' but could you keep an eye on the managers FB page. He may post about what is happening especially about how unfair this all is......

Well done for forwarding it. I am another one who read the title and thought YABU until I read your post and thought for once, yes inform his employers.

CeliaFate Thu 29-Aug-13 09:19:55

I hope he is reprimanded. Someone who works for my husband posted comments on Facebook about being bored, couldn't wait till 5.30 etc. during her working hours.
She was given a strong verbal warning and left in no doubt that if she did it again she'd be sacked.
A company's reputation is worth everything to them and it's completely unfair for one individual to destroy someone else's hard work.

IJustNeedANap Thu 29-Aug-13 09:26:39

Good job for doing it OP! I hope you get a reply soon

He is advertising the job again on his Facebook page, this time the advert is much cleaner, and it does not specify gender. It looks a lot more professional.

I just dont get why he advertises on his personal FB page, it is wide open yes, but he does not have that many followers!

mignonette Thu 29-Aug-13 10:18:30

If that is all that happens then maybe this does need to go viral Quint.

So tired of companies whitewashing disgraceful behaviour.

Montybojangles Thu 29-Aug-13 10:18:50

Can we have a link so that we can all apply? Mwah ha ha.

Noseynoonoo Thu 29-Aug-13 10:19:18

They won't tell you what they have done with him because that is confidential but they will say that it is of course not on blah blah blah to you.

mignonette Thu 29-Aug-13 10:19:28

Could you make the FB page available via PM ? I quite fancy a change of career wink and promise I will not mention you.

NicholasTeakozy Thu 29-Aug-13 10:39:57

It sounds like somebody high up has spoken to him and not bothered to let you know, which is a bit rude tbh. I hope they let you know what's happening.

MollyBerry Thu 29-Aug-13 10:56:27

Did you get a response or not?

I have had no response.

LessMissAbs Thu 29-Aug-13 11:10:01

Advertising a job on a personal Facebook page (as opposed to the company's Facebook page) is a really odd thing to do. It sounds like he has permission from the company to do it.

I really would contact ACAS, they might have some better idea as to what to do as, along with the half of the population affected by this sort of thing, I find this really offensive. I wouldn't use the company if I knew which one it was, and I don't think this kind of old fashioned thinking is any good for the economy.

blondieminx Thu 29-Aug-13 11:18:18

If no response tomorrow, explain you will be contacting the media with the screenshots.

Well done you for calling them out on this!

AmandaCooper Thu 29-Aug-13 11:19:46

Discrimination in job advertisements is reportable to the Equality and Human Rights Commission. Not saying you should report the company, OP, it sounds like this wanker was off on a frolic of his own.

mignonette Thu 29-Aug-13 11:19:59

Please take it further (or hand it to somebody who can) if they do not demonstrate real commitment to dealing w/ this.

I would hate to inadvertently give this company my money via my business if they are behaving in this manner.

LessMissAbs Thu 29-Aug-13 11:36:13

AmandaCooper Discrimination in job advertisements is reportable to the Equality and Human Rights Commission. Not saying you should report the company, OP, it sounds like this wanker was off on a frolic of his own

Thanks for this. But the company are vicariously liable for the actions of their employee, unless they distance themselves from this (which they haven't - they haven't even responded to the OP's reasonable enquiry). By omission therefore, they are condoning it.

Snuppeline Thu 29-Aug-13 11:51:49

I have just had my second child and in both my pregnancies I have been discriminated against and spoken to rudely by make colleague (not the same colleague and not the same employer). First time I was 25 and it was my boss talking badly of me for having a baby, ridiculing me and so on. I did not pursue this but chose to leave the job after mat leave. Second time around I'm 30 and caused all hell at work when senior male colleague berated me and all young women for having a child and taking mat leave to look after it. I am sick to the back teeth of implicit and explicit discrimination. Sadly, it's rare that so clear evidence of misogyny is seen but given that this is, please please, pursue it further.
Send to the press and the equalities body (mentioned above). For all our sakes!

MrsWinklepicker Thu 29-Aug-13 13:26:18

Well now Catsize, funny you should say that but, much to my surprise, a male shop assistant in my local branch of a well known high street chain wears a badge saying 'trained bra fitter'... I can't imagine the ladies are queuing up for his services...

As you were.

MrsWinklepicker I don't know - is he good-looking with warm hands? grin

MrsWinklepicker Thu 29-Aug-13 13:45:40

If he was I'd be buying a lot of new bras!

I don't like to make generalisations but actually I think boobs probably aren't really his cup of tea iyswim :-)


AmandaCooper Thu 29-Aug-13 18:57:16

Lesmiss I meant why not give the company the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps it can distance itself; perhaps it has taken action in response to the OP's complaint. Who knows? It doesn't have to keep an external complainant in the loop.

wokeupwithasmile Thu 29-Aug-13 20:40:36

Please give all to me if you are unsure. I would be SO happy to be the one who sends it.

wokeupwithasmile Thu 29-Aug-13 20:45:25

uuups, did not realise there were three pages of this and sent it after the first....

gaggiagirl Fri 30-Aug-13 17:52:24

Any update OP?x

dirtyface Fri 30-Aug-13 17:57:12

I was all prepared to say don't do it when I read the title.

Then I read the post.

dirtyface Fri 30-Aug-13 17:57:57

sorry posted too quick

meant to add, what a total wanker, i would send it to them if you havent already

A wanker he may be, but I have just perused the local FB page for the company, and as the manager, the fb is all his doing. I like his marketing strategy, what he is doing on the company FB page. Lots of competitions, and people winning fruit baskets, lots of veg. fruit baskets delivered to nursing homes to "brighten the day" etc.
But not a word from the company no.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 30-Aug-13 23:05:46

Name them. I want to know what company allows this kind of shit. They're hoping it will blow over...

mignonette Fri 30-Aug-13 23:06:55

About time this went public.

gaggiagirl Fri 30-Aug-13 23:09:15

I agree this should go public.

When I get home, and have access to a printer, I will print off the screengrabs along with my email to the company, and post it to the founders and main share holders.

savvymoo Fri 30-Aug-13 23:21:31

Send it to the press office of the company. In fact if you pm someone from this thread one of us could do it for you, if you didn't want to out yourself. I would be happy to do it.

mignonette Fri 30-Aug-13 23:25:16

excellent idea Quint.

BelleEtLaBaby Sat 31-Aug-13 02:16:08

A few people have murmured about not wanting to be the cause of someone losing their job due to telling. Can I just say - if he were to lose his job it would be because of his actions, NOT because someone reported his actions. Sorry, but reporting behaviour is important and if he were to lose his job it would be because he did something which the company found to be unacceptable. HE would be the cause. What he did/said was discriminatory, offensive and (I think) illegal.

There was an interesting discussion about sexism in football on the radio the other day. Basically one of the points that stood out to me was when someone said women accept sexism with a kind of shrug as we've sort of come to expect it. But take an instance of blatant sexism - in this example, sexist language used at football matches such as 'kicks like a girl' - and replace the sexist term with a racial one, and you're instantly horrified. It makes you pay attention to sexism when you do that. Everyone on here has said how shocking this example is - that there are plenty of men who can't lift much, and I've worked in bars with plenty of women who could do large barrel loads and changes without breaking a sweat - and this blokes general disregard for women. It's a very blatant example and exactly why it should be challenged and reported.

I've just read this back - I'm heavily pregnant, rambling a bit and not sure what my point is exactly. But I agree - well done for posting it and definitely follow this up - email again asking for a response and tell them if you don't get a response by a certain date you will be contacting the press.

LegoCaltrops Sat 31-Aug-13 06:38:43

Good idea Belle. please keep updated OP! I really hope they reply this time but the pessimist in me says they won't.

AlphaBetaOoda Sat 31-Aug-13 08:01:40


If you don't get responses , send again with links to here & talk press.

sooperdooper Sat 31-Aug-13 08:13:33

I'd send them to your local paper and radio stations rather than their press office, they've had an opportunity to respond and haven't, I wouldnt try again

I bet your local press would be interested, and I can imagine it'd make a great radio discussion/phone in

Did the email end up with him? Or did it go to head office? I would send again asking whether they had received it along with cc-ing press office etc

Mintyy Sat 31-Aug-13 13:27:29

Very interested to hear how this turns out!

GobTheGoblin Mon 02-Sep-13 19:11:25

Quint, have you heard from the company yet?

CamomileHoneyVanilla Mon 02-Sep-13 20:57:59

Further bump - please don't let this go.

CouldHaveMadeIt Mon 02-Sep-13 21:32:41

Also intrigued.

fuckwittery Mon 02-Sep-13 21:45:36

Place marking!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 02-Sep-13 22:54:21

Adding my two pennorth' as well. I want to know what happens!

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