People sticking their fingers in my baby's mouth

(36 Posts)
Claricestarling4 Fri 23-Aug-13 22:32:40

I have a six week old baby and she's my first so I'm not sure if I'm being paranoid or if I'm right to be pissed off with DH about this.

When she was born the midwives showed us that putting a little finger in her mouth can calm her down. We both did this a bit to start with but I have now started using a dummy with her as even though I know we both wash our hands a lot, I still find it a bit icky. However my DH still does it and a week ago at a BBQ I came back from the kitchen to find our friends' teenage daughter with her little finger in my DD's mouth. I grabbed her back straightaway. It transpired my DH had suggested to her that she do it while she was holding her and he and I had a huge row about it when we got home.

Then today, we were at another friend's house and (despite me having put a dummy right in front of him) he put his finger in her mouth in front of their five-year-old daughter, who then did it herself which I didn't realise for a couple of minutes because of where I was sitting - she had obviously seen him doing it and thought it was okay. I was horrified later to see her (the 5 yo) picking at a verruca on her foot.

I'm now livid with my DH, and also completely stressed that my baby is going to have caught the virus from her (I believe it's a strain of HPV). Any opinions or reassurance would be much appreciated. Do I just need to calm down? Or am I right to think no one should ever stick their finger in my baby's mouth? (My DH seems to think it's no big deal).

Turniptwirl Fri 23-Aug-13 22:34:24

Ahem, pfb

notanyanymore Fri 23-Aug-13 22:36:37

TBH, I wouldn't like it and no amount of DP telling me to calm down would change my mind.

notanyanymore Fri 23-Aug-13 22:37:57

(I'm on my third DC, and I still wouldn't like people sticking their fingers in her mouth! especially at 6 weeks!)

Funghoul Fri 23-Aug-13 22:40:05

I don't like it but now dd is 14 weeks and she puts everything in her mouth, even my fingers if they are in reach and I'm not paying attention. I make sure I wash my hands regularly now, that's all I can do.

nannynewo Fri 23-Aug-13 22:40:38

This is a tough one. When I started reading the post I thought YABU and pfb. But having read the part about the 5 yo I guess YANBU. But I wouldn't worry about your husband doing it really or the teenager because they are old enough to know about germs etc...

SeaSickSal Fri 23-Aug-13 22:41:37

YABU not wanting your DH to do it, it's fine to do that, you know he washes his hand and he is her Dad.

YANBU to think other people shouldn't do it. I am incredibly relaxed about things like this but I wouldn't like that. You don't know if they've washed their hands or scratched their arse or what.

IMO It should be something only parents and grandparents and maybe aunt's or uncle's should do.

Valdeeves Sat 24-Aug-13 00:10:28

I hate it!!!!

TigerSwallowTail Sat 24-Aug-13 00:13:28

Yanbu, your dh shouldn't be encouraging other people to shove their fingers in your 6 week old baby's mouth.

poppingin1 Sat 24-Aug-13 00:31:02

immediate and trusted family members only IMO. I don't understand why your DH cannot do it though confused babies need germs.

I think you are being a little PFB but I understand why you wouldn't want people other than you and your DH doing it.

I did this the other day. No relation. However, I pointedly washed my hands before in front of the Mum so she would know. It does make babies very happy.

CheungFun Sat 24-Aug-13 04:02:31

I don't like the thought of it personally and never did with DS, I'd be quite upset if someone else had put their fingers in his mouth especially at 6 weeks old, just seems unnecessary.

FridaKarlov Sat 24-Aug-13 08:25:48

PFB

Ledkr Sat 24-Aug-13 08:30:12

It's vile.
Why bother sterilising if people fingers are going in her mouth.
Fingers are really dirty you know.

Ledkr Sat 24-Aug-13 08:31:28

To those saying PFB would you eat food from a cafe that was dished up by unwashed hands or drink a drink which was stirred by someone's finger?

Crowler Sat 24-Aug-13 08:33:53

Presumably the health visitor's fingers are clean; don't they wash their hands just before they take the baby? I let my kids suck on my little finger quite frequently when they were tiny babies, it allows you a bit more time between feeds.

I would NOT BE HAPPY with a five year old's finger in my 6 week old baby's mouth. No way. Not PFB.

FuzzyWuzzywasaWoman Sat 24-Aug-13 08:35:27

Makes me heave and I am certainly not precious about my DC, I wouldn't let anyone put their fingers in my mouth (obv besides dentist etc) so I certainly let anyone do it to my 6 week old. YANBU.

FuzzyWuzzywasaWoman Sat 24-Aug-13 08:36:02

*wouldn't

I am on ds4 and no I don't like it either. Not pfb. My other children don't put their fingers in his mouth as they know not to. Totally gross.

miffybun73 Sat 24-Aug-13 08:41:21

YANBU, it's revolting.

Themarriedwoman Sat 24-Aug-13 08:48:15

I don't think i was ever as PFB as you seem. Now I am on number 3 and even let the dog do it! It's really not such a big deal..

BooCanary Sat 24-Aug-13 08:54:44

My BIL always used to stick his fingers in my DCs mouths, before I could stop him. I hated bit, but it never had any negative effect AFAIK.
YABU though OP, its gross.

dopeysheep Sat 24-Aug-13 10:02:46

It's a bit grim isn't it? I wouldn't want random people sticking their fingers in my mouth!
I would feel exactly the same as you OP. 6 weeks is stil v tiny.

Thepowerof3 Sat 24-Aug-13 11:51:08

Fingertips are gross ask them to offer a knuckle instead if the feel they must stick something in

MonstersDontCry Sat 24-Aug-13 12:01:23

People saying 'pfb' would you want a random persons finger in your mouth? I wouldn't want Anyones finger in my mouth tbh.

YANBU op.

KurriKurri Sat 24-Aug-13 14:27:36

If you would enjoy having a five year old who had been picking her verruca putting her fingers in your mouth, then you can call PFB, but if not then the Op has made a sensible choice on behalf of her baby who is too little to tell people not to do disgusting things to her, so relies on her mother to do it for her.

poppingin1 Sat 24-Aug-13 15:29:00

Monsters I said PFB but also that I understood not wanting people outside the absolute immediate family doing this.

Why OP's DH can't do it is strange to me.

Babies need germs.

nickelbabe Sat 24-Aug-13 15:33:30

i wouldn't like it.

it's not PFB - you said yourself you saw a girl pick her feet and use the same finger to poke your child's mouth.

I don't understand why anyone would put a finger in someone else's mouth!!

I used to do this with my DCs but wouldn't have been happy with anyone else doing so! and I wouldn't dream of doing it to anyone else's baby or allowing one of my DCs put their finger in a baby's mouth.

Claricestarling4 Sat 24-Aug-13 19:34:32

Thank you very much to everyone who commented - as I said she is my first so I wasn't sure if I was just being overprotective! Just to clarify, I have no issue with my DH putting his finger in her mouth himself, I just didn't want him to do it in front of children who would then do what kids do and copy him thinking it was the right thing to do. Thanks guys.

candycoatedwaterdrops Sat 24-Aug-13 20:29:59

No, YANBU or PFB. She is still very small.

seensomuch Sat 24-Aug-13 20:36:28

yanbu i would not want anyone sticking their fingers in my childs mouth.

IneedAsockamnesty Sat 24-Aug-13 20:41:01

Other people's fingers in anyone's mouth is gross children especially think of the potential for thread worms

And I am so far removed from any type of precious parenting

DontWannaBeObamasElf Sat 24-Aug-13 20:45:05

The way I see it I don't want any fingers in my mouth so I don't want them in my childs either.

Babies that young do not need fingers stuck in their mouths. Their immune systems are not fully developed as yet.

YANBU!

LostMarbles99 Sat 24-Aug-13 20:51:10

What is PFB about not wanting random fingers shoved in your baby's mouth?

I have a 7 month old and would be furious if anyone did that to my baby and would be telling them so!

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