Facebook rage..AIBU?

(168 Posts)
Tittypulumpcious Fri 23-Aug-13 20:43:09

I have pms..I realise this because I have bitched and moaned for at least 5 days..anyway I am pretty sure once I am back to being a rational human being I will still loathe these things.

Facebook status involving posters partner.

The mr, my man, hubby,

Had a lovely day with my man.

Snuggled up with the mr.

Waiting for hubby to get home..

Ffs most of us that have Facebook accounts are friends with you we know your husband/boyfriends name why can't posters just use it?

Had a lovely day with Derek..there isn't difficult is it.

And those who put xxx on the end.

Waiting for film to start with my man xxx - feeling blessed. envy

Fuck off!!!!

I've hidden everyone so I can simply keep in touch with those I don't live near and have a good nose view their photos.

I cannot be the only one to find this irritating?

grin

This is all I see from one particular friend on FB.

Except it varies between my man xxxxx and my little princess xxxxxx.

She's always in her PJs snuggled up, feeling fucking blessed with one or the other of them. Gobshite!

Nagoo Fri 23-Aug-13 20:49:12

I like you already. My favourite one is a friend who checks into her own bed every night... registered as a local business. grin

pianodoodle Fri 23-Aug-13 20:49:44

I have one or two fb friends who do this it it is bit cringy.

Sometimes it sounds more like they are trying to convince themselves that they love their DH rather than the rest of us grin

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 23-Aug-13 20:51:04

This is the main reason that I barely use Facebook.

Because people are idiots.

I don't have any of that.

Get less stupid friends.

Doubtfuldaphne Fri 23-Aug-13 20:52:30

I see a lot of 'I love my kids' or 'my kids are everything to me' and they put it nearly every day. I love my children too but don't feel the need to regularly remind everyone I know.
The kisses are strange. Can you imagine them actually kissing everyone after saying this?
"Going to the shops, feel so blessed to be in the bread aisle xxxxx"
"Just got off the loo xxx"
"Going to bed xxx"

ratbagcatbag Fri 23-Aug-13 20:53:59

I got elevated to a whole new puke level after seeing

Had a snugly night with my action man, he's just fab

Er no love you've just come out of a ten year narriage, he's a rebound guy, tis all.

AlbertoFrog Fri 23-Aug-13 20:55:31

YANBU - I too have friends who do this. I reckon they have really boring lives. I'm way too busy (on mumsnet) to post what I'm having for dinner/who I'm snuggling up with/when I'm checking in to "my cozy wee bed".

ThursdayLast Fri 23-Aug-13 20:56:54

Agree agree agree!

I always try to unfriend the REALLY puke making ones, but they always fecking add me again.

Tittypulumpcious Fri 23-Aug-13 21:09:03

And another...

Happy 1st birthday sweetheart we love you so much xxxx

What the actual fuck???!!! A 1 yr old who can read and is on fb..genius!

Tee2072 Fri 23-Aug-13 21:11:22

Pity them. It means their lives have nothing else in them, doesn't it?

ShabbyButNotChic Fri 23-Aug-13 21:13:34

Yanbu...i went on a 'hiding' mission a while ago and now feel so much better! I cant stand the vom inducing odes of love to their boyfriend/kids/dog/third cousin twice removed. I now only have about 50 or so people whose updates arent hidden.

The worst thing is i cant bring myself to delete these people as i like to have a nosy now and then. When im feeling a bit shit i like to look and think 'jesus at least im not a fucking cringey douche like you...' How awful is that?! They are all genuine nice people, but christ on a bike they do my head in.....

PoppyWearer Fri 23-Aug-13 21:14:07

Arf arf arf at "Just got off the loo xxx".

I see the odd bit of this from my cousins and a few friends but luckily not too much!

redexpat Fri 23-Aug-13 21:15:14

You don't need to have pms for this kind of thing to give you the rage. YANBU!

Nottalotta Fri 23-Aug-13 21:17:10

Also the ones posting their baby scan pictures and talking to 'bump' via facebook. WTAF??

HooverFairy Fri 23-Aug-13 21:17:51

This really winds me up, one of mine frequently posts about their 'gorgeous little family' and it pisses me right off. When I know the truth it is blatantly obvious that they are only trying to convince themselves.

The hubby references piss me off the most when used by one particular friend who is not married and loads of people do this. If you're not married, he's not your husband and using the word 'hubby' is not ever acceptable: married or not!.

MammaTJ Fri 23-Aug-13 21:20:18

My favourite one is a friend who checks into her own bed every night... registered as a local business. Nagoo, does she have a red light above it? wink

My own personal favourite is the joint FB where the status updates alternate between 'I love (mans name) so very much' and 'I am so lucky to have (womans name) in my life'.

I am never entirely sure whether it is a 'frape' (shudder) or a genuine 'update'.

Whereisegg Fri 23-Aug-13 21:20:51

You do seem to have left out the lol-ers.

I had to hide someone I really like in real life as her posts made me feel all stabby.

Just got up lol.
Gonna get dressed in a min lol.
Nearly time for lunch lol.
Gotta go food shopping lol.
Might have a bath lol.

Fuck right fucking off.

NatashaBee Fri 23-Aug-13 21:21:57

YANBU, this makes my teeth itch too. Even more so knowing that the couple are usually in the same room whilst posting so why not just bloody SAY IT TO EACHOTHER! The only time I mention my husband on Facebook is to bitch about him grin

pianodoodle Fri 23-Aug-13 21:22:57

I thought I weeded most of the bollocks out but I still seem to trawl down my newsfeed past "inspirational" quotes and "hilarious" cats sad

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Fri 23-Aug-13 21:23:27

I don't have any FB friends who do this. For that I feel so blessed x. LOL.

usualsuspect Fri 23-Aug-13 21:25:05

Why have FB and then spend all the time moaning about it.

I will post what I like on my FB.

StuntGirl Fri 23-Aug-13 21:27:11

I agree, get better friends grin

My friends list only has about 40 people and I never see this kind of shit!

mrspaddy Fri 23-Aug-13 21:27:25

But is nothing worse than selfies ..... Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh

Whereisegg Fri 23-Aug-13 21:28:07

I post what I like too.

Luckily for my friends, I am sexy, dangerous, and hilarious.

80sMum Fri 23-Aug-13 21:28:36

YANBU! I find all the references to "hun" and "lol" "feelin" "lovin it" etc very irritating in particular. Why do ordinary middle-aged people who should know better suddenly appear to be trying to speak like American teenagers?!!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 23-Aug-13 21:30:29

What about the people who reckon themselves a bit literary and type supposedly "inspiring" shite like "Just sitting in my ickle garden enjoying a delicious hot choccy with the stars twinkling in the sky....love my life"

[bleurgh] in reality they're sitting by the telly watching An Idiot Abroad or something.

theoriginalandbestrookie Fri 23-Aug-13 21:30:32

Oh my personal hate is a lady a befriended who ran a self development course I made the mistake of going on. I should just de-friend her but she is too funny.
She sends fb messages trying to flog her retreats and courses and calls everyone "peeps" arggghh, makes me v stabby.

Tittypulumpcious Fri 23-Aug-13 21:33:18

Would just like to say happy anniversary to my gorgeous hubby..feels like yesterday we shared our magic moment. You complete my life and I am happier than I have been I love you so much xxxxx - feeling loved.

Dear friend consider yourself deleted.

Nora2012 Fri 23-Aug-13 21:36:05

I have friend who's constantly boasting about her child's latest achievement or what hilarity she's just created. The post always starts "princess (name) has just..." No she hasn't, I've never seen her do anything other than rub chocolate on my sofa or take her shitty nappy off and roll around on my carpet. She's no genius that's for sure!

Nottalotta Fri 23-Aug-13 21:37:35

Confession.....i was a bit behind on the whole 'checking in' thing. Had an early night, and found that i could 'check in' to my bed. Did so. Post read ' nottalotta checked into her bed. 3000 others were here'

LOL!!! ....Feeling slutty.

usualsuspect Fri 23-Aug-13 21:40:48

I expect all your status updates are oh so witty and intelligent.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 23-Aug-13 21:41:14

Nora my "friend" posts about her son's modelling assignments. "here we are in big old London Town AGAIN! Little Arsehole has another job for M&S! Look at him in his tiny deerstalker...isn't he CUTE!"

Like we HAVE to say "Yes, yes he is!" even though he's just your average toddler.

usualsuspect Fri 23-Aug-13 21:41:53

Some bitter people on this thread.

wel jel are you?

tinypumpkin Fri 23-Aug-13 21:43:37

Loving that Nottalotta! Made me smile.

Also hate the hubby love posts, Ugh.

CharlotteParks Fri 23-Aug-13 21:44:31

I do fairly regular FB friend culls for this very reason. I never do status updates, only upload photos every so often after holidays or Christmas for family abroad to see. By never putting on status updates people assume you are never on and leave you alone, its great.

Anyone, family included, that posts all-too-frequent and boring updates get hidden or deleted - be ruthless OP!

CharlotteParks Fri 23-Aug-13 21:46:45

After my last cull I am down to 46 friends, which still too many imo!

everlong Fri 23-Aug-13 21:49:44

I've only got a couple of them that do that ' my bubs, my hubs, love my lil family ' thing. thank christ

She's really quite sweet but the biggest hun in the world. Its a different world.

Lilacroses Fri 23-Aug-13 21:57:30

Hilarious! Op, why is it that the name "Derek" is so comical in itself?

BerryLellow Fri 23-Aug-13 21:59:57

I have a few friends that border on the ick factor. One of them puts things on hers almost exactly as have been described BUT she has had a hard run of luck in her time and if she's happy and wants to share I don't begrudge her that.

If it all gets too much there's always the option to uncheck the 'show in news feed'.

I'm more bothered by the I'm Supermum type posts listing all the enriching activities they have done this holidays. But that's cause I'm a lazy cahhhhh grin

hardbeingme Fri 23-Aug-13 22:14:41

irrational anger at the 'like' if you hate cancer, sick children, paedos, love your mum, puppies etc fucking etc how is me liking a picture going to cure cancer????? no i don't play candy crush, no i don't watch shit music contests or big brother
learn to spell, if not well then better - its like its in bloody code. i don't 'get' text speak.
unless you actually are laughing out loud don't say you are.
fine you're blessed, awesome, but every day??? hows about i just assume you're blessed and you say nothing unless something changes
your husband/wife/partner has a name. i don't know anyone who says hubby in real life, why write it?!

teeny bit ranty this evening...

PGRated Fri 23-Aug-13 22:19:47

Hubs, Bubs and My Boo = Head fuck. Absolutely hate them..... I like to have long breaks from facebook to regain my sanity!

MrsMarigold Fri 23-Aug-13 22:26:21

I find the people who respond to posts like: "Another really crap day at the with clients!" and say things like "poor you, you deserve better because you are such a star" make me more irritated than those that post these inane things in the first place!

In our house we call them "the glee club"!

pianodoodle Fri 23-Aug-13 22:34:01

Why have FB and then spend all the time moaning about it

I thought that's what it was for grin

juneybean Fri 23-Aug-13 22:35:04

Actually it's the "feeling bless" bit and other such shite people have started adding to their statuses that make me hmm

juneybean Fri 23-Aug-13 22:35:12

*blessed bah

MikeOxard Fri 23-Aug-13 22:48:06

Pmsl at 'feeling blessed to be in the bread aisle xx' lol. I'm feeling blessed that mumsnet is amusing the shit out of me as usual. Might fb and tell all my friends...

Wallison Fri 23-Aug-13 22:57:43

Actually, the main offender for this type of thing on my fb seems to be having a bit of marital trouble, which makes me feel sad for her. After endless posts upon posts about how her hubby makes her feel and how she has the best hubby in the world, she's now sharing acerbic but generic updates (you know the kind of thing - pictures of Victorian ladies and a pithy non-Victorian quote) about home-wreckers; it's like she can't stop herself. It's actually really quite horrible to witness - I don't know her all that well now although we were at school together, and I feel like I'm snooping by reading this stuff. I also, because I don't know her all that well now, wonder if the done thing to do is to send her a little message saying "Looks like you're having a hard time; hope things work out for you" or something. But would that be intrusive, or is it ok given that she's playing a lot of this out online?

CoffeeandScones Fri 23-Aug-13 23:02:34

YANBU. I block from my timeline approx 1/3 of my 'friends', for this sort of thing. Though generally they're family in law, people you 'friended' and have decided you don't really like but don't want to offend them by defriending. It's so unnecessarily complex...

Floatsyourboat Fri 23-Aug-13 23:02:51

Yuck! That's why my dh, db, dsil & dm all got rid of our fb accounts lol ;)
Funny thing is we don't miss it and see each other and our friends more so really it's been a bonus.

Fi2013 Fri 23-Aug-13 23:05:08

My friend posts the ones I find irritating: "having bad day couldn't get worse" or "crap day" type then when someone asks she replies: " I'll PM you Hun"...!!!

ourlittlestreet Fri 23-Aug-13 23:06:26

One of my friends made some comment about "please wish i get better so I can provide for my hubby and meet his manly needs"

I am guilty of using Facebook to whinge as I left all my friends behind when we left exh but it still made me giggle.

comingalongnicely Fri 23-Aug-13 23:07:48

Babies, that's all I'm going to say, fecking Babies....

Booooooooooringggggggg......

I hate the attention seeking pity grabbing status updates with no information because they're just dying for everyone to follow them round (metaphorically speaking) patting their back and beggibg then to say What's wrong. My sil is a massive perpetrator of this fb crime which is why I deleted the bitch over a year ago

XXX is feeling so sad sad

usually followed by a string of luvs and huns and little fucking hearts. a couple of days later there's usually a passive aggressive sally along the lines of...

XXX well at least I know who my reel [sic] freinds [sic] are. Dont h8 on me h8r

I honestly don't know how these people spawned my intelligent, cynical, able to spell husband.

Misspixietrix Fri 23-Aug-13 23:10:10

Pianodoodle "Its like they're trying to convince themselves that they love them". <<< This! I particularly like the ones who Tag their Hubby and Partner in every Status every other hour! Completely.understandable if hes alway. Not when hes in the next room or nipped down.the pub for A swift one! grin

Arisbottle Fri 23-Aug-13 23:11:41

None of my friends post things like that. I wonder why your friends are so dull.

Sallyingforth Fri 23-Aug-13 23:12:07

Well I can honestly say that I have never, ever been offended by anything on Facebook, and what's more I never will be. cdnmn.com/emo/te/2.gif

stiffstink Fri 23-Aug-13 23:13:14

[http://kitcac.wordpress.com/2012/09/13/like-this-photo-if]

Expressions of love to non-facebookers are the worst. Or facebook statuses directed at the extremely aged/dead.

Annakin31 Fri 23-Aug-13 23:16:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stiffstink Fri 23-Aug-13 23:20:20
chesterberry Fri 23-Aug-13 23:22:58

I hate this even more in real life than I do on facebook. I have friends who are constantly referring to 'my better/other half,' 'my man,' 'my missus' etc when I have met and know the name of their partners. Really annoys me.

AdmiralData Fri 23-Aug-13 23:42:34

I have a friend who does all of the above crimes, argh. I feel like shouting 'LOVE I KNOW HOW MUCH YOUR KID AND BOYFRIEND PISS YOU OFF SO FUCK OFF WITH THE ILOVEMYPERFECTLIFE UPDATES!!! >:}

usualsuspect Fri 23-Aug-13 23:52:02

NOT REALLY MUCH OF A FUCkING FRIEND THEN,ARE YOU

Tittypulumpcious Sat 24-Aug-13 01:47:18

Feeling amused grin lol

Strokethefurrywall Sat 24-Aug-13 02:12:55

I used to have acquaintances on facebook who did this - they were vomit inducing so I deleted them.

Ironically, I have just learned that they're separated and apparently are now living out their divorce on facebook too.

Worse than the lovey dovey bollocks are those living out their animosity towards their exes on facebook, following by "thanks for dropping off the kids 10 minutes late, now you've screwed up my entire afternoon" - followed by their friends commenting "he doesn't know what he's lost hun, you're so much better off without him.." - bleurgh. I'm a pretty ruthless deleter though.

Arisbottle Sat 24-Aug-13 02:16:38

I know stiffstink, people who are grieving make such crap friends.

luanmahi Sat 24-Aug-13 02:28:44

I put updates about my little girl but try to be as non vomit-inducing as possible. I hope i succeed and not too many of my friends have hidden my status. I have one friend however who writes essays about her kids and by the time you wade through it, it's usually a stealth boast to say what an amazing job she is doing of bringing them up e.g. my son said xxxxx at the dinner table yesterday when we were having a conversation about <insert serious topic like gay marriage or the problems in Syria> - feeling proud. Cue comments from various friends of hers saying things like. Oh xxx you must be soo proud. What an intelligent young man. Well done you for teaching him about this sort of stuff, etc. Yuck.

ElleBelly Sat 24-Aug-13 04:04:27

Fanny lost 318% of her body weight in 2 days! You too could look like this, no exercise or diet required!.
Click this link to find out how she did it www.whataloadofutterbollocks.com

daisychain01 Sat 24-Aug-13 06:26:06

Fakebook is thankfully but a distant nightmarish waste of time memory as I had my account deleted last year. I definitely prefer mumsnet and you are all my new best friends lol (had to slip in a quick lol, just for the hell of it) <air-kiss>

What I hate about Hatebook (sorry for any xposts):

All the sick inducing crap already described upthread - vile, fake! Most are from people who are in relationships where they scratch each others eyes out on a daily basis, then rush to post on FB just to validate their "wonderful blessed lives".

Cryptic status updates - attention-seeking. "Someone will wish they had never been born <meaningful dot-dot-dot for extra dramatic effect>". Look, Lovey, if someone pisses you off, either sort it out with them, or tell us what's the matter, quit with the drip-feeds, OK??

Pictures of dinner plates and glasses of wine (always accompanied with Nom, nom, nom) - thanks, I eat food too, and yes it is normally on a plate... AND???

All those bloody Fb Poker games, Farmville (do I care you just bought a pig - Crapinola-ville, more like) - that took up about 75% of my feeds, because I was Billy-no-Mates, after defriending most people for getting right up my nose!

Schmulzy stuff about God wants me for a sunbeam, meaningful inspirational sunsets etc, yards and yards of the bloody stuff clogging up the screen.

The only thing I can boast about was that none of the people in my Friends list were ever crass enough to take a photo of poor unsuspecting people with, shall we say, weight problems and mocking them on Fb (did you see that awful AIBU?)

That's just scratching the surface, but OP, YADDDNBU!

QueenArseClangers Sat 24-Aug-13 10:20:45

I have a fb 'friend ' who is guilty of all of the above. I haven't deleted her as she provides such treasures as a photo of her son wearing pretend large black rimmed glasses with the caption " geek sheek (sic) lol xxxxx".

ilovebabytv Sat 24-Aug-13 10:41:22

ooh backing away from this thread, hope none of you miserable bastards are fb friends of mine.

ilovebabytv Sat 24-Aug-13 10:43:49

YABVU btw

Fakebook Sat 24-Aug-13 10:51:55

Yadnbu! The sickest one I've read is:

"All cosy and warm in bed with my man xxx"

Eeew! Don't want to know thanks. I just automatically imagine farts and sweat for some reason when people write shit like this. I don't know why!

GemmaTeller Sat 24-Aug-13 10:58:39

I dare everybody who's read this thread to updated their FB status with:

'feeling blessed in the bread isle'

grin

Tittypulumpcious Sat 24-Aug-13 11:24:49

Lol gemmateller..

How about 'in the bread aisle' - feeling blessed envy

Tiredemma Sat 24-Aug-13 11:33:01

I had to delete a girl from work who only ever updated her status with the following

"chilling with paul" (her DP im assuming)
"waiting for paul to get up so we can go shopping"
"cooking tea for paul"
"love my paul"

God it was soul destroying.

I have also deleted a male that I went to school with today- he has updated his status a couple of times with random comments about his sex life with partner.
Todays nugget was "just boned the life out of it"

I dont need to see this when im eating my All-Bran

0utnumbered Sat 24-Aug-13 11:43:17

We are all a bunch of hypocrites really aren't we? I love threads like this as I find them funny but I don't find anyone on my newsfeed annoying! I write what I want so others can too and it won't irritate me as it doesn't affect me, I don't HAVE to be on Facebook, I use it less and less now I have the Netmums app! It's weird as im such a grumpy person usually lol but I actually get more frustrated and angry by people on the bus, probably because I have to be there until I pass my driving test

0utnumbered Sat 24-Aug-13 11:44:17

Mumsnet app ooops!!!

everlong Sat 24-Aug-13 11:47:41

<roars> at ' all cosy and warm in my bed '

everlong Sat 24-Aug-13 11:48:42

Oops missed off ' with my man xxx '

everlong Sat 24-Aug-13 11:50:28

The photo of the Sunday dinner is always a mystery to me.

Why? Who cares that you're having beef?

What about the endless photos of the family dog asleep on the sofa on its back, legs akimbo. Why would anyone need to see that?!

InThisTogether Sat 24-Aug-13 13:42:38

YANBU at all, the other ones that drive me mad are when thry post on each other's wall "i love you babe", "so lucky to have you" and other similar puke-making stuff. Just tell them, you bloody live with them!

SilverOldie Sat 24-Aug-13 13:48:41

I do not understand why anyone uses facebook. If I received a pound for every thread on here moaning about it I would be a rich woman.

Delete it, life is still worth living without facebook.

Sallyingforth Sat 24-Aug-13 14:05:14

SilverOldie if your name is your description then you grew up before facebook etc. I expect people are thinking "well that's all very well for her but things are different now and it's part of modern life".
Well, I did grow up during the early days of social media. I use IT continuously for work and play, I have just about every type of computer, tablet and smartphone and update/replace them regularly. But I don't use facebook, twitter or linkedin. I manage very comfortably with email, an occasional text, and Dropbox for sharing pictures and other large files - locally and around the world. And there is still that old-fashioned telephone device.
Which is why I have never, ever been upset by anything on facebook - and never will. So you are in good company.

randomwhistle Sat 24-Aug-13 14:46:10

This thread is great! I deleted my facebook account over 4 years ago. But on Monday I thought sod it, everyone seems to be on facebook I'm obviously missing something really special in my life so I set up a new account. Lasted 3hrs!!!!! I had friend requests from every Tom dick and Harry who wouldn't give me the time of day in real life. Plus all the usual shit about how perfect everything is in their lives. I nearly clawed my eyes out. So I got rid AGAIN lesson learned for me. Facebook? Nope I'd rather my kindle.

ShellyBoobs Sat 24-Aug-13 14:57:49

I do not understand why anyone uses facebook.

Agreed.

What an utter bag of wank, seemingly populated almost entirely by fuckwits.

I say 'seemingly' as I'm only going by what people on MN say about it. I don't have, and never will have, a facebollocks account, myself.

MikeOxard Sat 24-Aug-13 15:03:49

I just updated my status, letting all my friends know I was feeling blessed to be in the bread aisle, with a lol and some xxx. Fantastic. I'm now sat here laughing to myself, while (I imagine) my friends are de-friending me. Hahaha. grin

StillSeekingSpike Sat 24-Aug-13 15:07:54

My manager is an animal rights fanatic. The other morning she posted 'WATCH THIS VIDEO OF PIGS BEING BURNT ALIVE IN RUSSIA'. er...no thanks hmm

picnicbasketcase Sat 24-Aug-13 15:11:49

This thread has made me laugh a lot. Several people on my fb seem to really like saying what they're doing followed by 'good times'. I might post 'Feeling blessed in the bread aisle...good times.'

Katla Sat 24-Aug-13 15:20:32

My friend calls her man/hubby/Mr "The Boy" on Facebook. That is irritating.

'Just cooking eggs with The Boy'
'Building Ikea furniture with The Boy'

Aaaaargh.

She doesn't ever refer to him like that in real life thank god.

shockers Sat 24-Aug-13 15:27:29

I have to do it now... I wonder if my new status update will solicit a response grin.

I have had to hide a few of mine too. They are not proper friends - just acquaintances who added me and I felt it impolite to say no. One of them does all of the above and books my blood. Also Posts loads of benefit-bashing stuff. Always moaning "Sigh.... It's so hard being a manager sometimes." Then loads of sycophantic people reply " what's up, Hun" "Poor you..... You are so clever doing that job AND being such a brilliant mummy to tink. Hugs xxxxxxx"

Aaarrrrgghh!!!!!!

Tittypulumpcious Sat 24-Aug-13 15:55:44

I'm in the bread aisle feeling blessed envy

Might really take the piss by documenting my entire day with lots of xxxx at the end.

TeaAndABiscuit Sat 24-Aug-13 16:45:32

My favourite status update was from a girl I went to school with who in meeting her new niece commentedt: 'feeling really broody holding my niece. Good job I've been sterilised'.

shockers Sat 24-Aug-13 17:00:24

None of my friends have commented on my gluten based thankfulness. They're usually very enthusiastic in their response to my updates too...

shockers Sat 24-Aug-13 17:22:10

I tell a lie... DH has just written, "Eh?"

Tittypulumpcious Sat 24-Aug-13 17:32:35

I think we should have a thread for best daily devils postbox status.

GemmaTeller Sat 24-Aug-13 17:38:52

just checked my updates, can't see anyone in the bread aisle, might go first smile

EarthMither Sat 24-Aug-13 17:40:11

Facebook is the Wazzock's Lantern of the internet.

1944girl Sat 24-Aug-13 18:00:26

I have a relative who is addicted to FB. Her posts are all those that have been described on this thread.
If I say anymore it will out me.

LookingForwardToVino Sat 24-Aug-13 18:01:50

I just told mumsnets Facebook how bready blessed I am grin

MikeOxard Sat 24-Aug-13 18:44:52

Looks like nobody noticed. Clearly feeling blessed in the bread aisle, while updating your FB status, is a normal thing to do. hmm

OctopusPete8 Sat 24-Aug-13 18:50:35

me and my fiance just rip the piss out of each other on fb.

booksandchoc Sat 24-Aug-13 18:58:28

I just did this confused

But not special names for DH, just his usual Danny and he's looked after me all day cos I'm pathetic with the cold.

It's more a hint to his brother to wise up tho, DSIL has been ill all week, no help from him, while dealing with there children. Then he has went out all day today aswell. He's an arse so I'm hoping to shame him a bit.

booksandchoc Sat 24-Aug-13 18:59:12

Sorry, because, though, their children!

SilverOldie Sat 24-Aug-13 19:13:00

Sallyingforth You're right, I'm in my late 60s and the only thing available as a child was BBC One on a 14 inch black and white tv.

However, as soon as computers made an appearance in my office I immediately became addicted, my first home comp had 4 KB of RAM and DOS lol. Skype is great to keep in touch with friends who live in other countries and I even play WoW grin.

I'm sure some people are happy using facebook but there are so many threads complaining about it on here for one reason or another, I just don't understand why they continue to use it.

alldaysleeper Sat 24-Aug-13 19:21:18

worst culprits ever are a couple we know that recently both got tabs and now constantly update and comment on each others statuses whilst sat in the same b****y room, oh and they are so blessed with there DC that mum is simply dreading them going back to school as life "will again be empty" pass the sickbag

Msgilbertblythe Sat 24-Aug-13 19:26:23

What about all those people bragging about what they've done in the gym, every single day: "10km run, 2 hours of bikram yoga and a spinning class. Ready to start the day!" Who cares???!!!

Silverfoxballs Sat 24-Aug-13 19:27:20

I gave up FB almost a year ago as my blood pressure could not cope.

The blessings in bread aisle, was there a priest buying warburtons?

GemmaTeller Sat 24-Aug-13 20:38:57

Mumsnet has a FB page? (shows how little I wander round FB)

I know someone who calls it faceache

Hippymama Sat 24-Aug-13 20:49:06

I love Facebook! All these crappy statuses just make me laugh (I have relatives and friends who are guilty of all the "crimes" listed above) and it makes me laugh and roll my eyes to see some of the rubbish they come out with. If someone is really pissing me off I just hide them, but for the most part, I enjoy Facebook as it allows me to keep in touch with family and friends easily (and feel "blessed" that I appear not to be as dippy as some of them!)

RenterNomad Sat 24-Aug-13 21:09:00

None of my bastards friends have been blessed in the bread aisle, so I'M THE FIRST!

pianodoodle Sat 24-Aug-13 21:36:54

I know someone who calls it faceache

My family call it bakebook - we're N.Irish smile

RenterNomad Sat 24-Aug-13 22:08:44

Still no "likes"!

Anyone else had any replies?

MikeOxard Sat 24-Aug-13 22:28:35

I got a like! Not sure what they were liking about it. confused

daisychain01 Sat 24-Aug-13 22:49:01

Everyone keeps saying how they use Fakebook to keep in touch with family. I cant think of a worse reason, who wants to keep in touch with Faaaaam'ly urghhhh!

Only kidding, Mum, love u so much, I'm so blessed, your (sic) the bezzie Mum in the whole world. Lol, air-kiss, mwar xxx

KittyLane1 Sat 24-Aug-13 23:19:54

Just off the toilet - feeling empty xxxx

My gorge hubby just got me wine, cosy infront of Twilight lol love it me - feeling blessed xxxx

Urgh - feeling stabby xxxx

The worst ones are people who post pictures of their kids crying...why? Who on earth do you think would be interested in seeing that?

Littleen Sat 24-Aug-13 23:29:36

haha... I so agree with a lot of this. hubby is the worst word in the world, or atleast top 20.

I know someone who, instead of posting "happy birthday to my child" sort of comments, instead say "3 years ago, I was in labour blablabla"
well that was one day, this is now your kiddos birthday, so atleast make it about them or shuddup -.-

GemmaTeller Sat 24-Aug-13 23:35:04

No likes for my blessed bread either smile

RenterNomad Sun 25-Aug-13 14:01:10

I'm jealous, Mike!

RoxyFox211 Sun 25-Aug-13 14:37:27

"Vague" booking is worse imo.
For example, a status reading "if you've got something to say say it to my face!", or "can't wait for tomorrow", or "you think your special but everyone hates you" etc etc. why not just fucking say who your talking about? It just makes everyone paranoid, and screams for attention! Worse is when people reply "what's up?" and they say "I'll private message you!"confusedconfusedconfused wtf is the point of that? Why not just do that in the first place!

Tigresswoods Sun 25-Aug-13 14:49:58

Having now had FB for about 5-6 years I have discovered there is a direct correlation between those who make public proclamations of adoration & those who split up.

seventiesgirl Sun 25-Aug-13 15:01:58

Just been inspired to have a big "unfriend" session. Excellent, thanks!

fackinell Sun 25-Aug-13 16:08:40

I'm hardly on now due to all of the above. Selfies have got to be the most annoying (my 20yr old sis is the worst at this) closely followed by just a sad. Fuck off! Oh and I've deleted so many friends kids for the blowup doll style pics. You know the pouty mouth, wide eyed pose that looks like someone just stuck a finger up their arse? Worst ever has to be a friend's ex that put that he just had the best blow job ever. He went byes after that!

DP and I tend to put up bloody awful pics of each other just to be annoying. Classic one of him on the sleeper train with an eye patch on and a wide open mouth. I was bored, he was snoring and I know it was immature. Best was he slept for hours and woke up to 30 odd likes before he saw it. grin

GemmaTeller Sun 25-Aug-13 16:43:11

'Love my sunday morning lie in with hubs'
#feelloved #lazysunday #luvmyguy

#FUCKOFF grin

Snoopingforsoup Sun 25-Aug-13 17:32:31

I have a friend who only ever posts pics after a rough patch with 'hubby'.

The sickly draped all over this utter horror of a man pictures annoy the shit out of me. She's trying to convince everyone her life is perfect. I know better.

I gush about my child but rarely anything/anyone else. I generally just take the piss out of 'hubby'. I'm not married either!

shockers Mon 26-Aug-13 12:49:40

I got a 'like' for my blessed breadiness from a local restaurant owner/chef. I can't work out whether he was taking the piss, or he's an huge fan of baked items.

BaldricksTurnip Mon 26-Aug-13 13:04:28

I have a friend who is constantly having 'perfect' days with her 'gorgeous little family', 'snuggling with my hubby' and 'feeling loved/blessed'. She annoys the shit out of me, especially because her husband looks like Quasimodo.

Arisbottle Mon 26-Aug-13 13:59:33

I don't see why we are so upset at the thought of our friends being happy . I often find myself observing my own life and thinking to myself, I am so bloody lucky. If I shared that with a friend, I hope they would be happy for me.

daisychain01 Mon 26-Aug-13 14:04:19

Now baldrick if you resemble your profile name, surely levelling the criticism about your Pukebook friend's husband being a Quasimodo is a bit "pot and kettle" grin

SparkyTGD Mon 26-Aug-13 14:18:54

I'm guilty of posting pics of 'hilarious cats' but none of the other crimes grin

Have a friend that posts the 'inspirational quotes' stuff, I just scroll past it, and another who does the "feeling blessed xx" stuff and the "feeling sad sad" with all the resultant "Whats up hun?" replies but she has had some difficult times so I excuse that.

'Feeling blessed in the bread aisle xxx'

impatienttobemummy Mon 26-Aug-13 14:43:07

I haven't got facebook I'm on twitter which has similar cryptic tweets! I am crying reading this thread! I want a Facebook acct now as it would clearly crack me up! My sis in law actually speaks like that and says lol when she thinks something is funny. I would be her friend first!! I might tweet in the bread aisle #feelingBlessed see what happens!

impatienttobemummy Mon 26-Aug-13 14:44:25

Just done it!!

Seenenoughtoknow Mon 26-Aug-13 14:57:15

A 40 (ish) year old man (surfer) on my Facebook keeps going on about how 'sick' the waves are...should this make me cringe as much as it does?

shockers Mon 26-Aug-13 15:07:12

A 48 year old surfer friend of mine (and his wife of the same age) constantly use the term 'totally stoked' for feeling pleasure. Maybe seawater does something to the brain wink

littlemog Mon 26-Aug-13 15:31:44

I do not understand why anyone uses facebook

Agreed

What an utter bag of wank, seemingly populated almost entirely by fuckwits

I say 'seemingly' as I'm only going by what people on MN say about it. I don't have, and never will have, a facebollocks account, myself

This.

And I did have a FB account for about 6 months. Never, ever again.

littlemog Mon 26-Aug-13 15:32:46

And usualsuspect you need to chillax hun getting on to the FB vibe

shockers Mon 26-Aug-13 15:43:55

It's easy to enjoy fb if you only have friends who are actually people you enjoy being friends with in RL. I use it as a kind of diary, posting photos of what I've done that day (if I've been somewhere... not the washing up etc!). If my regular posting is too much for any of my friends, I hope the'll just block me from their newsfeed, rather than hating me for it! As it is, a lot of my friends seem to enjoy my photos.

Tittypulumpcious Mon 26-Aug-13 20:34:04

More fb rage..

'Had the most wonderful day relaxing with my man love you sooooo much baby xxxx - feeling loved'

She didn't even tag him! Unless he stalks her fb how will he see it? They've spent the bastard day together can't she just tell him?? Please fuckity fuck fuck off..I've deleted her and the one who insisted on putting up hourly photos of her baby. #socute #littleman #adorable

#yourealltwats.

Arisbottle Mon 26-Aug-13 20:56:57

I must be missing something , how can that make you angry?

SHarri13 Mon 26-Aug-13 21:00:47

Oh 'feeling blessed' and similar seriously piss me off.

Arisbottle Mon 26-Aug-13 21:05:52

I would just be pleased that my friends are happy

trixymalixy Mon 26-Aug-13 21:15:17

I find that those who post "snuggling up with my man" etc are more likely to split up.

Whoever posted about it being them trying to convince themselves rather than the rest of us probably has it spot on.

Arisbottle Mon 26-Aug-13 21:15:54

I have been snuggling up with my husband for almost 20 years.

trixymalixy Mon 26-Aug-13 21:16:44

Oh I should have RTFT, someone said what I did already.

trixymalixy Mon 26-Aug-13 21:17:45

As have I Aris. I don't post about it on fb every week though do you?

Arisbottle Mon 26-Aug-13 21:22:14

No, but if I did I hope my friend would be pleased for me. I might say that I have had a great day with the family or something similar.

normaleggy Mon 26-Aug-13 21:23:26

'Would like to wish my wonderful husband a happy 5th wedding anniversary'

=

'I would like all of you to wish us both a happy wedding anniversary, after all he is sat right next to me so no need for me to post that really'

trixymalixy Mon 26-Aug-13 21:24:32

I would be pleased for them if I thought they were happy, but it seems to me the people that post that are not really and trying to convince themselves they are. It makes me feel sad for them.

I'm thinking in particular of a couple of people on my fb. I would love for them to find someone nice.

LookingForwardToVino Mon 26-Aug-13 21:26:20

'Happy Anniversary to my gorgeous hubby, sooo happy to be yours'

Posted by my ex best friend and cousin.

Who stopped talking to me after I told her I had woken up on the sofa downstairs to her soon to be husband attempting to rub his drunken cock on my face hmm

samuraispider Mon 26-Aug-13 21:33:22

ROFL at this thread.

I deleted my Facebook account. I'm not missing it...

pictish Mon 26-Aug-13 21:35:30

Ach you miserable sods!
I am guilty of none of these I hasten to add, but what of a fuck do I give how other people express themselves on fb? If it's not insulting or intended with malice then I can't see what the problem is?

There is stuff in this world that is far far more worthy of your scorn than the twee on facebook. At least they're being fucking positive eh?

BlingBang Mon 26-Aug-13 21:35:58

Be funny to know what friends think of our postings. Maybe get some eye rolls ourselves - wonder if anyone has me hidden? I've done it to others who annoy me or clog up my feed with crap - so fair's fair.

pictish Mon 26-Aug-13 21:37:48

No no...everyone here writes witty, concise, informative and interesting statuses.

smileymam Mon 26-Aug-13 21:50:25

Have a few on mine who upload photos of their children when they are ill wtf, oh and photos of their food! Why?

BlingBang Mon 26-Aug-13 21:54:57

Well I know that mine are witty etc - was really just talking about you lot.

BlingBang Mon 26-Aug-13 22:05:59

Have only one Fb friend who does all the hubby, gorge, hugs and stuff and I should hide her but I'm sort of wondering what she will post next. In fact she just posted this,

"Lovely way to complete fun bank hol weekend! smile"

Cryptic much - or just an inside comment to those in the know.

AintNobodyGotTimeFerThat Mon 26-Aug-13 22:22:39

I personally don't mind it and just cringe a little and move along, doesn't really affect me as it's up to them what they choose to post.

I do sometimes update putting me and DPs name are having a great time away on our mini break. Or I can't believe DDs name is able to -insert thing she can do now or age she is now- but otherwise I think I post general things really.

But my aim isn't to impress anyone. I update something that would be interesting to me if I was someone else reading it iyswim.

But I do understand why to some people it's a bit much.

AintNobodyGotTimeFerThat Mon 26-Aug-13 22:23:44

Oh and yes I have 2 facebook friends with the same name funnily enough who both put 'with my gawjust boyfriend so lucky to have him xxxx' and the like.

I also have another who also puts herself as 'in her bed' as a place.

Hasn't she heard of stranger danger?

superstarheartbreaker Mon 26-Aug-13 22:24:41

I just piss everyone on Facebook off by putting my amazing holiday photos on there. No man in sight; just dd and I.

parakeet Mon 26-Aug-13 22:31:01

Didn't Richard Gere and Cindy Crawford take out a huge ad in The Times, proclaiming that they were happily married and the rumours they were splitting up were untrue and very hurtful - just before they filed for divorce?

Maybe the FB "feeling blessed with hubby" status updates are like that?

Going to do the bread aisle FB status update now. Gotta be done. But I like the "good times" ending, as a little finesse. So my entire update will read: "All warm and cozy in the bread aisle with my man. Feeling blessed. Good times."

TheBleedinObvious Tue 27-Aug-13 00:12:53

How strange.

I don't have any of that sort of thing.

It must be your friends.

The closest I get to being annoyed by my friends posts is one who regularly posts pictures of her latest nails hmm

Queen0fFeckingEverything Tue 27-Aug-13 07:46:27

Well that's the last time I do anything suggested on here.

Several of my friends took it to mean I'm fucking pregnant!

Ememem84 Tue 27-Aug-13 08:30:05

I have a fb friend (someone I knew at school) who regularly posts things about her "baby girl princess". This wouldn't be so bad if said baby girl princess was in fact a baby girl ie actual person. Baby girl princess is her pet rabbit.

"Baby girl princess is watching tv with me" "baby girl princess is soooooo cute" etc

MiaowTheCat Tue 27-Aug-13 09:25:48

I culled a twilight fan who would post shit like 'last night I dreamt Edward was in bed lying awake protecting me.' Old school friend so not even some drippy teen but a woman in their thirties!

Also for the chop was the one who would:
do the lovey mush thing then get her husband to instant reply so you'd get things like 'hubby cooking lovely meal am so blessed'... 'yes loveykins its the least I can do as you're such an amazing mummy and wife'... 'and you're an amazing husband'... every fucking day.
army-wife-jack ANY friend posts that she disliked, so 'just off to tesco' would be hijacked by how 'asda is better my husband is in our army saving the known universe and you're telling me tesco is better, how dare you, my babies need their daddy!' etc etc.

Caffe1neAddict Wed 28-Aug-13 00:13:23

Agree to all of the above- most are done by just one of my friends- who bizarrely have changed their genders so he is referred to as 'the wife' and the pet dogs are 'the kids'- just icky!

Can I add worse one though is statuses checking in at airports (hello burglars! House empty- the one that's on all my photos!) and complaints about holidays "ooh staying at amazing hotel but like totally ruined as screaming kids outside as apparently xxx staying here!" Obviously mega famous person should have checked first... Tut tut.

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