To not want MIL to do this to my cloths?

(101 Posts)
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 23-Aug-13 08:35:04

Since there is already a tea towel based thread on here I thought I'd join in the pettiness! MIL is staying and while she is lovely she has a maddening habit...bear in mind this thread is slightly light hearted...but i am also a bit annoyed too.

When she's tidied the kitchen or washed up (which she does at least once a day bless her) she always takes the cloth I use for wiping the surfaces and sink over and spreads them to dry over the side of the sink or the body of the mixer tap...the cloths are always stained and dirty though she's wiped up four coffee spills with it.

I don't see the need! I place them in a a little bleachy water after a wipe around...she must think hanging them to dry will minimize germs....but surely she should take note of what I DO in my house which is what I do when in hers!

I never follow MY routine in her kitchen but adhere to HERS!!! AIBU?

Mixxy Fri 23-Aug-13 08:36:49

Yes. You sound like a mad, ungrateful bint. Sorry.

Lottiedoubtie Fri 23-Aug-13 08:37:55

Your MIL does your washing up EVERY day??

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 23-Aug-13 08:38:49

Some of it Lottie yes...she's staying with us!

amistillsexy Fri 23-Aug-13 08:39:42

Would you like to send her round to mine, OP? I'll take the wretch off your hands for you grin

FrussoHathor Fri 23-Aug-13 08:39:49

My mum does this. Albeit the cloths are "rinsed out" I don't have any brothers though

BlackholesAndRevelations Fri 23-Aug-13 08:39:59

God, yes, YABU

fluffyraggies Fri 23-Aug-13 08:40:03

Are you irritated with the cloths hanging around drying, or that she doesn't bleach them?

<over interested in treatment of kitchen cloths>

I get infuriated with kitchen cloths being left in a wet heap to stink!

MegaClutterSlut Fri 23-Aug-13 08:40:22

what Mixxy said......wish someone would wash up for me, certainly wouldn't get touchy about how they hang the dishcloth so YABU imo grin

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 23-Aug-13 08:40:58


I am a draper of cloths, it drives DH mad. grin

FrussoHathor Fri 23-Aug-13 08:41:48

Does she throw your bleachy water away too "because it looks dirty"?

Can't you just chuck them in the bleach yourself? She's probably not noticed that's what you do.

purrpurr Fri 23-Aug-13 08:42:10

YANBU! Totally not. Doesn't matter what it is, if you follow her routine in her house, she should follow yours in your house. It's a respect / young v old thing in my eyes. My mum is so critical and so keen to tell me what I should be doing from a domestic standpoint in my home but I would never dare in hers - because I think it starts to become disrespectful, not because she's wielded a dishcloth longer than I have. Your home is your cave, you care for it how you choose. To object to someone else doing things their way in your cave surely must be normal.

FuzzyWuzzywasaWoman Fri 23-Aug-13 08:44:28

Another draper here, plus if I had somone to do my kitchen everyday they can do whatever the fuck they want with the cloth. So YABU.

Morgause Fri 23-Aug-13 08:45:48

What a bitch! Make her sit down and do nothing for the rest of the stay and wait on her hand and foot. Cook her meals and make sure you clean up yourself.

That'll teach her! wink

Forgetfulmog Fri 23-Aug-13 08:52:34

Omg, YABU! Actually I'm pretty sure that rinsing the cloth in hot water & leaving it to dry like your mil does is fine, germs wise. Anyway don't be so bloody ungrateful!

Feminine Fri 23-Aug-13 08:53:08

During her visit, just buy value brand J-cloths and bin them every day!

For your sanity, it seems worth it! wink

Feminine Fri 23-Aug-13 08:54:06

p.s. I am very scared about the possibility of one day becoming a MIL.

olivo Fri 23-Aug-13 08:54:21

I'll take her off your hands < casts a beady eye around my filthy kitchen and wonders if there is a cloth there at all>grin

ENormaSnob Fri 23-Aug-13 08:56:08

My gran does this.

Tbh, im just grateful that someone else has washed up wink

Doesn't bother me at all.

Bleachy water? Vom. Why not just chuck them in the washing machine?

Parmarella Fri 23-Aug-13 08:59:47

OP is a bit nutty, MIL sounds lovely

If someonedoes your washing up just be grateful and gracious bout it

Parmarella Fri 23-Aug-13 09:01:12

Ahhhhh wait a minute, reverse Aibu perchance?

Hopasholic Fri 23-Aug-13 09:05:06

J-cloths on a roll are your friend OP

Lock her in the cellar.

My mil liked to take my washing out of the machine, fold it, and leave it in a pile, wet on my wooden dining room table. Why would you fold wet washing? Tell me pleeeease!

She is still in my cellar.

roundtable Fri 23-Aug-13 09:05:46

Your mil's a bitch. Chuck her out. The audacity of her, washing up and then not leaving the dishcloths in a wet pile to stink.

I don't know how you cope with her behaviour.

Cloths are minging. I only use kitchen towel. YABU for having a cloth, draped or otherwise.

Hopasholic Fri 23-Aug-13 09:07:27

Why would it be a reverse? You think it's from the Mil perspective? That doesn't make sense confused

LadyMilfordHaven Fri 23-Aug-13 09:07:33

oh OP
get a grip

CockyFox Fri 23-Aug-13 09:07:50

I would far rather rinse and dry than leave in a pot of water however much bleach is in it. I hate wet cloths.
But yeah she should do it your way.

Fakebook Fri 23-Aug-13 09:09:14

Quick rinse in hot water and drape them. Our kitchen surfaces get wiped down about 10 times a day. It's the busiest room in the house (after the bathroom!). So you chuck them in bleach after every single wipe down? Or just once a day?

SoupDragon Fri 23-Aug-13 09:09:27

Yes. You sound like a mad, ungrateful bint. Sorry.

This. if someone tidied my kitchen and did the washing ounce a day they could hang the cloths out on a line in the front garden for all I care grin

But you said it was lightearted and I agree that it can be immensely irritating when someone is in your house doing something differently.

NoComet Fri 23-Aug-13 09:10:53

The smell of bleach makes me sneeze.

I have no wish to interact with your bleachy water.

Fakebook Fri 23-Aug-13 09:11:29

Wet cloths in a heap (even in bleach) stink the room out. The smell reminds me of my primary school toilets where the mop was left in bleach.

HandMini Fri 23-Aug-13 09:12:02

Is this just j cloths you're talking about?

Use for a couple of days / until a major spill occurs and then bin. No need for any bleaching or draping nonsense.

If you're using those mingy white string things, get rid and start using j cloths.

ELR Fri 23-Aug-13 09:14:18

Sounds exactly like my mil but I couldn't give a flying fuck what she does with the cloths as long ad she keeps doing the dishes!!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 23-Aug-13 09:15:59

Now now...I SAID it was light hearted! I'm very happy she washes up....but WHY DRAPE A FILTHY ClOTH???

Feminine Fri 23-Aug-13 09:18:50

Why not?

Yamyoid Fri 23-Aug-13 09:20:55

Oh my god! It's probably never even entered her head that how she leaves the cloth would be an issue and why would it?
My dh leaves the dirty, unrinsed cloth in a wet stinky heap on the side next to the bowl of dirty soapy water he's not tipped away. That's annoying. Therefore we have the cheap jay cloths and I chuck them every couple of days as a pp suggested.

ELR Fri 23-Aug-13 09:21:11

neo it drives me batty but given the choice of having to do it myself I let it go whilst sheathing inside!! She puts everything in the wrong place too and stacks the dishwasher wrong!!

LovesBeingOnHoliday Fri 23-Aug-13 09:22:40

I hear your pain op, at least she'll be leaving, dh does this.

noddyholder Fri 23-Aug-13 09:23:57

How can you even give this headroom

Yamyoid Fri 23-Aug-13 09:24:35

It's funny how the little things ils/parents do, that drive you mad, that when put into perspective are so insignificant.
When my fil washes up I have to leave the room grin

TipsyandTom Fri 23-Aug-13 09:25:14

Yanbu. What does your DH say? Is he supporting you on this? Have you considered LTB?

BadPoet Fri 23-Aug-13 09:26:55

YABU, she probably just does it automatically. I am fussy about my cloths and both drape (after a good rinse and I use mabu cloths which are amazing) and bleach when stained but tbh I'd be slightly freaked if someone observed my cloth habits and faithfully copied me. Apart from Dh of course.

TipsyandTom Fri 23-Aug-13 09:29:18

Actually you may be being a little U, but I have every sympathy - I generally find other people's washing up in some way incorrect - think it's normal to feel somewhat territorial about one's kitchen. (I decline some offers of assistance, in fact.) But at least she is helping!

valiumredhead Fri 23-Aug-13 09:36:48

Good Lordhmm

Toomanycuppas Fri 23-Aug-13 09:52:53

YADNBU. My mother and I have just spent two months back in England staying in the homes of several different friends and relatives. One of our daily observations was the treatment of the cloths. We do things properly in our own homes, like you OP, but followed the householder's habits when we washed up in return for being fed and in some cases flung the minging stained cloth back on the side in a heap

I won't mention the hand towels and tea towels bork

Montybojangles Fri 23-Aug-13 10:00:27

Really? It's a coffee stain, not shit. What sort of germs do you think are in that?
It drives me nuts when my cloths are not pristine, but I wouldn't be whinging if it was that way because someone had wiped down the sides, rinsed and draped. As someone up thread said, it's when they are left in a minging wet heap that I get a bit crazy.
Just pop them in some bleach overnight to soak.

MissPiggiesLeftTrotter Fri 23-Aug-13 10:01:24

Actually she is doing you a favour by not bleaching your cloth. You need a few germs around to boost immune systems. Growing up she probably didn't have all the media scaring the bejesus out of her over stupid things like sterilising your toilet and bed bugs. The UK is generally a cold country. Try moving somewhere hot and sweaty like Jakarta for a few years with cockroaches the size of a tennis ball in your kitchen as soon as a crumb lands on the floor and you will know what germs are.

SPBisResisting Fri 23-Aug-13 10:06:56

So people dont just squeeze out their cloths snd leave them at the side of the sink?

oldgrandmama Fri 23-Aug-13 10:23:20

J-Cloths, or the cheap substitutes around in Pound/Near Pound shops. By the way, your MIL sounds a saint - as I am myself, of course!

sydlexic Fri 23-Aug-13 10:28:30

Give her a stern talking to, if you don't she will be hanging tea towels on the oven door before you know it. My DH does this I think he is being PA.

SPBisResisting Fri 23-Aug-13 10:30:36

J cloths do not clean as well as string cloths. They dont provide the friction/scrubby action. I use j cloths fir the bathroom

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Fri 23-Aug-13 10:44:35

just bung it in the washer and redrape.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 23-Aug-13 10:58:56

No draping! Draping is wrong!

MadBusLady Fri 23-Aug-13 11:34:36

Kill her.

Aniseeda Fri 23-Aug-13 12:53:05

YAB(lightheartedly!)U. I am a cloth hanger so you wouldn't want me washing up for you.

My mum tends to leave the dirty cloth floating in a bowl of filthy water - I'd love it if she rinsed out the bowl and hung the cloth to dry but I just quietly roll my eyes and do it myself!

Your MIL sounds fab grin

valiumredhead Fri 23-Aug-13 14:01:54

I put sponges through the dishwasher when I worked as a nanny,I was told it was revolting. Bizarre people. Not a revolting as not buying new dishcloths for nearly a year!

Soribell Fri 23-Aug-13 14:07:06

I am weird (sorry) about cleaning cloths, too. I do get, though, that it sounds a bit mad to others, especially if they are doing the cleaning for you.

For me, it's the way DH uses them that drives me mad. I just put them all away and leave out sponges he can uses if he feels like cleaning. I don't think he even knows I have "proper cloths" for cleaning.

Crinkle77 Fri 23-Aug-13 14:13:34

yabu. It probably hasn't even occured to her to ask what they do with the dish cloth after using it. Is she supposed to ask what the correct protocol is everytime she does something? She is doing your washing up. Just be grateful.

Nagoo Fri 23-Aug-13 14:14:59

grin @ coffee stain, not shit grin

SilverOldie Fri 23-Aug-13 14:34:40

I have read some awful MIL stories on here but this takes the biscuit. How dare she do YOUR washing up and use YOUR cloths and then, I can hardly believe it, DRAPES them.

By the way, what time does she finish at your house so she can come to mine? grin

raisah Fri 23-Aug-13 15:25:05

Send her over to mine please. I don't have a MIL but she would have driven me nuts if she was still alive.

You are both right, rinse out in bleachy water & spread out to dry. That is what I do.

comingalongnicely Fri 23-Aug-13 17:10:03

I don't know about germs, but I hang mine over the tap as it dries better that way & doesn't end up stinking as much....

BlackholesAndRevelations Fri 23-Aug-13 21:18:20

I just binned mine after dp half-arsedly used it to half mop up some tea he spilt on the living room carpet. hmm

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 23-Aug-13 21:19:54

Oh come come; I am NOT moaning about her cleaning! She's welcome to clean, sit or do a dance in my kitchen. Just not to drape the frigging cloths!

Mintyy Fri 23-Aug-13 21:21:55

Yab totally and utterly U. No question.

Bowlersarm Fri 23-Aug-13 21:22:56

YABU. Surely you know by now OP.......

tanukiton Fri 23-Aug-13 21:33:17

You are my mum aren,t you! I hate the pot of bleach festering with food stuff to one side. You hate it when I put the used cloths and sponges in the dishwasher to be blasted. If you are my mum know I love you. If it is your mil know she loves you she is doing the dishes.....

SilverSixpence Fri 23-Aug-13 21:36:29

YABVU if she is cleaning and washing up at least once a day. However I get driven mad by MIL leaving teaspoons on the counter so I can't really blame you smile

BlackholesAndRevelations Fri 23-Aug-13 21:36:34

Dishcloths in dishwasher, really? Hmm... Might try that one!

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Fri 23-Aug-13 21:41:04

My Mum came to stay with me last year (5 LONG months grin) and bless her, she tried to do things my way, but if I had a £1 for everytime she said 'x never hurt you' or 'I don't see why you do x' I would be very very rich.

... and I don't think she missed an opportunity to remark on how long the washing machine takes and what a waste, why not do everything on the 'quick wash'. Sigh.

I think a couple of hmm looks (after having explained it twenty million times) did the job - I stopped short of saying 'What happend to - 'when you have your own place you can do it your way, until then it's done my way'' grin

Just think, it could be worse, she could leave them in a festering heap. Just chuck them in the machine or bleach.

80sMum Fri 23-Aug-13 21:47:18

Blimey! I would be pathetically grateful if someone cleaned up my kitchen. I think you are being a tad unreasonable here! But if the cloth hanging really bothers you, why not just remove all the cloths before you mil arrives and put out a pack of Flash wipes, tell her you are using those now instead?

iamadoozermum Fri 23-Aug-13 22:03:09

I'm a draper - there, I've said it out loud. My DM is a draper as well, DGM (maternal) is a bleacher so we're only a 2 generations of draper family. DH on the other hand is a heap at the side kinda guy [seethe emoticon] and don't get me started on DMIL (who is otherwise wonderful but her dish washing tactics!!!!).

gamerchick Fri 23-Aug-13 22:08:10

Put out sponges.. cloths are minging any which way.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 23-Aug-13 22:34:45

Defo getting flash wipes....I bet she drapes them! I know its petty but its annoying....when I wash up at hers I drape out of respect!

SoupDragon Sat 24-Aug-13 07:16:15

Why are cloths more minging than a sponge?

VestaCurry Sat 24-Aug-13 07:24:06

Oh for goodness sake! If only my mil was still alive to visit us!

exoticfruits Sat 24-Aug-13 07:32:30

I was trying to work out why cloths are more mingling than sponges and can't think of a reason. As problems go it isn't one to worry about. Give her a J cloth and throw it away.

everlong Sat 24-Aug-13 07:55:01


Your Mil washes up for you and you moan about what she does with the cloth.


What do you do with your wet dishcloth?

I just leave mine rung out in the sink, it's used to wipe the tops and table 2736537 times a day.

SoupDragon Sat 24-Aug-13 09:39:29

I was trying to work out why cloths are more mingling than sponges

I think it's because they are more socially confident, meaning they are happy to mingle. A sponge soaks up information and thus is good at small talk whereas a cloth has no depth and is a bit limp. wink

I was always taught that rinsing out cloths in hot water, and then draping and allowing them to dry between uses minimises the growth of germs. Because germs need a wet environment to grow, not a dry one.

And unless your bleachy water is at least 50% neat, then I don't think it's going to do much to the cloth except create a wet environment for germs to grow. Many germs can tolerate a mild dilution of bleach.

Lol Soupy!

OrangeLily Sat 24-Aug-13 10:01:47

YABU and so is your MIL. You shouldn't do either!! Get a fresh cloth out and put the old ones in the wash!!

MrsDeVere Sat 24-Aug-13 10:07:13

Never mind all that.
My OH fecking folds up damp dish clothes and leaves them all over the place.
FOLDS them!

So they just sit there all damp and germy.

It makes me want to thump him.

Draping is ok. It dries them out. I always use very hot water, washing up liquid and a bit of bleach when I use my cloth again so that sorts out the germs.

MrsDeVere Sat 24-Aug-13 10:08:29

I put my sponges in the dishwasher.
clothes go in a 90 degree wash.

Don't get me started. I could talk about cleaning all day blush

SPBisResisting Sat 24-Aug-13 10:37:09

I hope you mean cloths rather than clothes, or else you must look like the incredible expanding woman!

Montybojangles Sat 24-Aug-13 10:38:19

Its at times like this, after readings soupdragons latest post I wish there were a like button I could hit smile

givemeaboost Sat 24-Aug-13 10:42:45

bah, I don't like any re-use of cloths, they are very germy imo and as a result I use once then they go in the washbasket, to be washed at 60deg, they get washed a fair few times before then then get chucked, I also do this with scour pads-another v germy item, when I buy them I buy budget ones, then cut them into 3's to use and chuck after a use.

Nanny0gg Sat 24-Aug-13 10:54:54

Don't use cloths...

Use a pad for washing up and kitchen roll for surfaces.

Nothing to drape then!

Fraxinus Sat 24-Aug-13 10:56:02

I get infuriated with kitchen cloths being left in a wet heap to stink!


If she's doing the job, she can do it her way. You can always come along afterwards and bleach the cloths if you like.

Nanny0gg Sat 24-Aug-13 10:56:02


grin flowers

MrsDeVere Sat 24-Aug-13 11:26:39

I took myself away from the thread because I was getting a bit too interested in cloths (yes thank you, back in the knife drawer ms sharp hmm grin )

I felt dragged back by the siren call of discussing cleaning dos and don'ts blush

Montybojangles Sat 24-Aug-13 12:06:01

Dishwasher them (and sponges and the brush things) MrsDeVere. What method do you use?

MrsDeVere Sat 24-Aug-13 12:17:40

oh do you really want to know?

Its not very exciting. <excited>

Anyway....After a meal the stuff gets put in the dishwasher and I fill the washing up bowl with washing up liquid, very hot water and bleach.

I use a sponge to wash down the surfaces, table and chairs and then go over them with a old muslin (nice size for washing things down). Then a quick wipe with an antibac and the water gets thrown on the front path. I have a clean path and the bleach keeps the weeds down.

I have cream units and small children so they all get done at the first time.

cloth hung up to dry unless I am clearing up after dinner, then it goes in the wash.
Sponge goes in the sponge holder or in the dishwasher after dinner.

Be gentle on me Mumsnetters. I can't help it.

(nb. my house is usually grubby and untidy, its a never ending battle)

Montybojangles Sat 24-Aug-13 16:38:33


Ohh, never thought of using a muslin for the job. Why had I never thought of that?

MrsDeVere Sat 24-Aug-13 17:23:34

They are the best.
Large, can be boil washed and dry quickly.

You are welcome grin

Montybojangles Sat 24-Aug-13 18:19:35

Thanks. I'm always happy to learn something new about cleaning (yes, my life is a thrill a minute).

LimitedEditionLady Sat 24-Aug-13 18:42:51

I think its nice that shes actually cleaned around for you.
I personally hate my mother cleaning around my house.I actually detest it.It doesnt need doing she just cant sit for more than five minutes so creates things to do.ITS NOT YOUR HOUSE MOTHER!!i wish she would just sit and have a brew and a chat.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sat 24-Aug-13 19:13:08

I just want to clarify....I LOVE my MIL. She's an ace MIL as they go. She loves getting a bit merry on wine in the evening and she DOTES on my DC and would die for them (or me I think) so really...this is just a tiny, teeny vent about the habit which she persists in. smile

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sat 24-Aug-13 19:14:21

Do you know...I MIGHT capitulate and DRAPE like she does. Then we'll both win.

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