I think I probably was and now can't say sorry

(51 Posts)
Pantone363 Thu 22-Aug-13 22:02:38

Went to Sainsburys to pick some uniform bits up.

DS was easy, girls stuff was not to my taste this year (cardis with big frill around the bottom, horrible trousers and babyish dresses)

DD picked up some trousers and said "what about these". I wasn't even thinking who was around and just glibly said "god no they're bloody ugly" blush. They were though, horrible shape and material.

But there was a woman behind me with her DD who had already placed said trousers in her trolley...her DD then says "are they ugly mummy?"....woman quite rightly gave me a mouthful and her DDs face crumpled and she starts crying that she doesn't want ugly trousers.

To my eternal shame I slunk off muttering a rather crap apology.

Was I BU saying they were ugly out loud? Friend said well if they were ugly they were ugly don't worry about it. I feel like shit remembering that little girl (a few years younger than my DD)

If you were the mum in Sainsburys in C town this afternoon I'm sorry!!

CharityFunDay Thu 22-Aug-13 22:07:01

YANBU. The other mother was well out of line for giving you a mouthful in front of your child and not explaining gently to her daughter that different people have different opinions about fashions.

Och you stopped a little girl having to wear ugly trousers, I frequently do the same. I declared that a lamp in ikea looked like it had a giant foreskin to my husnsnd and was glared at by a woman who was obvioisly considering buying it oops :-)

oohdaddypig Thu 22-Aug-13 22:11:23

Sorry you feel guilty OP.

Don't think you have any need to! You were just expressing an opinion whilst shopping. These things happen.

Maybe the other little girl got nicer trousers as a result smile

jacks365 Thu 22-Aug-13 22:12:57

Never be sorry for the truth. Just think what you saved that little girl from. She was unreasonable she should have dealt with it better and not had a go at you.

Pantone363 Thu 22-Aug-13 22:16:32

Foreskin lamp...that needs a link

JeanPaget Thu 22-Aug-13 22:24:31

YANBU - nothing wrong with giving your opinion about an item of clothing in a shop. Obviously it was unfortunate that the woman and her daughter overheard, but as Charity says the mother could have used it as a opportunity to explain about differing tastes.

I'm also keen to see the Foreskin lamp...

Ha I don't think they do it anymore , was a very tall papery shade floor lamp that the paper went sort of baggy and wrinkly at the end.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Thu 22-Aug-13 22:27:18

I had that lamp angry

myroomisatip Thu 22-Aug-13 22:30:18

I also echo a link to the foreskin lamp smile smile smile

I'll have a look around the Internet it's gone from ikea site

Pantone363 Thu 22-Aug-13 22:36:48

Haha I so know the kind of lamp you mean!

Think it was this on
Although I do remember it being distinctively more phallic and wrinkly

Sorry having trouble posting links on here, I want to see these ugly child's trousers, were they bell bottomed ?

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Thu 22-Aug-13 22:39:16

YANBU. You can't NOT speak just in case someone doesn't like what you said.

And, as mentioned, you saved that child from wearing shite trousers.

Charlottehere Thu 22-Aug-13 22:43:32

Nothing to apologise for. You are allowed an opinion. The othermuvva should apologise for having bad taste wink

OhDearNigel Thu 22-Aug-13 22:45:28

Unless you pointed out said trousers in the other womans trolley and said "look at those ugly trousers DD" YANBU. The other woman certainly was

OnTheBottomWithAWomensWeekly Thu 22-Aug-13 22:46:09

She shouldn't have said anything to you. If I were her, I would have told my kid that people have different tastes, and if we liked them it makes no difference what anyone else thinks of them.
She was mad to have a go at you.

Pantone363 Thu 22-Aug-13 22:46:26

They had a big baggy arse on them giving any child a lovely "mum bum".

Plus scratchy material. They were ugly hmm

ChippingInHopHopHop Thu 22-Aug-13 22:47:20

There's nothing wrong with having an opinion that is different to someone else's. It would have been wrong if you had seen them put them in their trolley then said it - but you didn't. You should have told the woman to fuck off buy her DD nice trousers calm down to leave you alone.

You have nothing to say sorry for. Hopefully her DD will get some nicer trousers out of it!!

fuckwittery Thu 22-Aug-13 22:48:17

If I was the other lady I would have said to my DD, dont be silly they are different trousers, or that lady means she thinks they will be ugly on her daughter as they don't suit her but different people suit different things and they look lovely on you etc
Not had a go at you!

quesadilla Thu 22-Aug-13 22:49:35

Woman totally overreacted. If age and her dd like it they should have the courage of their convictions. It's not offensive to state that something isn't to your taste unless its being offered as a gift.

LookingForwardToVino Thu 22-Aug-13 22:50:38

Your allowed an opinion op grin

It could have been worse, they could have been wearing the trousers.

daisychain01 Thu 22-Aug-13 22:52:25

I totally love this thread - Pantone, YANBU, I have foot-in-mouth disease and say things then afterwards think Oh BUM why did I say that! and feel bad for weeks afterwards. Don't worry, you did that little girl a favour, only short term pain, she'll be thanking you for not walking round with a baggy arse.

But the best thing is the foreskin lamp. I want one

BrokenSunglasses Thu 22-Aug-13 22:53:45

The child didn't cry until the Mum started shouting. You might have made the a little girl question the aesthetic qualities of her trousers, but her Mum made her cry.

daisychain01 Thu 22-Aug-13 22:54:46

oops sorry meant to credit 50shadesofmeh, thanks I very nearly had an accident laughing so much!

Pantone363 Thu 22-Aug-13 22:55:47

She didn't swear or shouted just "well I think they're nice and perhaps you should keep your opinions to yourself especially when my child picked them and now she thinks they're ugly..and I don't think it's nice to teach your child that saying things are ugly is nice, no wonder children end up getting bullied"

Then my muttered apology and slinking off..

K8Middleton Thu 22-Aug-13 22:57:47

Rofl at "I had that lamp".

Op, yanbu to save people from ugly trousers.

Tortington Thu 22-Aug-13 22:58:23

i am amazed that everyone and hi dog feels able to confront people

tbh, you should have said " i have an opinion go fuck yourself and your little dog too"

MariaLuna Thu 22-Aug-13 23:05:43

Lawd, can't you even make a comment while shopping these days?!


Just smile, say sorry, did I bump into you? don't let strangers hang-ups become your own, or take it on board....!

FFS. That way is the way to Prozac grin

I remember wearing this amazing coat when I was about 16 it was purple with blue zig zags and had a purple fur collar ( sounds ridic but I thought it was lovely) I was in shop I bought it from and these two girls were sniggering at it on the hanger and said ' look at the fucking state of that coat ' and then turned round and saw me wearing it looking like a prize dick lol.

I still can't go into a shop wearing something I bought there.

YANBU! shock

No difference at all to your DD asking for some crappy junk food and you saying: 'No darling, that's tooth rotting garbage, it'll make you fat and damage your IQ!' grin

Would you be expected to apologise if someone nearby had the same stuff in their basket?

Mouthfulofquiz Thu 22-Aug-13 23:22:03

I felt really bad once in sainsburys as I announced to my brother - I hate seeing babies in jeans, you wouldn't lie down all day in jeans would you? - as a lady was picking up to pairs in tiny sizes..I felt like I'd been really rude.
But then again - opinions are ten a penny, everyone has them so mine wasn't and shouldn't have been important to her. Dress your kids in what you want!

Alisvolatpropiis Thu 22-Aug-13 23:23:14

The other woman was overreacting in a massive way.

You had an opinion on an item of clothes. And?

The things I say about random items...never even considered worrying somebody might be offended by me. My taste won't be the same as everybody else's will it. I'd laugh in the face of anybody who get all upset about said opinions. Clearly somebody with too few real issues to occupy their time.

toomanyfionas Thu 22-Aug-13 23:27:03

I think it's funny. You are allowed to have opinions and I think maybe you saved the child from ugly trousers.

toomanyfionas Thu 22-Aug-13 23:29:50

I the lamp is quite nice though.

Apologies to any owners of the foreskin lamp

lagertops Thu 22-Aug-13 23:37:50


'I still can't go into a shop wearing something I bought there.'

That's hilarious. I remember when I was about 10 and a girl in a shop had the same jumper as me, so I balled it up and hid it in the trolley. The silliest thing was that she was watching as I did it.

OP, don't feel bad about what you said. Yes, its cringey what happened, but you were expressing an opinion about a pair of trousers. It's not like you told the wee girl that she had a shite haircut.

Haha lagertops at your jumper shame.

littlemog Thu 22-Aug-13 23:51:07

The other mother was out of order not you. She had no right to give you a mouthful and she should have acted with more dignity in front of her own little girl. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

unlucky83 Thu 22-Aug-13 23:58:30

Maybe the other mum (if anything like me) was just really really fed up of the whole uniform buying nightmare - over reacted and feels embarrassed and sorry now too...
I think everyone is allowed to have their opinions...their own taste, - each to their own...
And I also speak without thinking ...one of my classics was a neighbour (whilst I was gardening) chatting and saying gravel might make it easier - set me off on a rant - I hate gravel - the work of the devil - don't think it looks good, bad for wild life, etc etc etc...neighbour gave me a funny looked and went quiet ...later (months later) I realised just how tactless I'd been - yes -you've guessed it his (identical to mine) garden was all gravel ...and I knew -just didn't think blushblush

SaucyJack Fri 23-Aug-13 00:02:07

Yes! YWBU! You great big meanie!

Poor bloody kid. That would've crushed my youngest.

StuntGirl Fri 23-Aug-13 00:49:07

Oh god, that other woman was a loon. Feel free to ignore her!

YouareNOTfat Fri 23-Aug-13 01:04:43

Hilarious, she should have been confident enough in her own taste.

I was painting once, my whole house is magnolia. I popped round to my neighbours to see if he had a ladder to reach above the stairs. He didn't but instead went off on a tangent about trrhe work he'd done in his home, and how everyone else just paints theirs magnolia, and how he hates magnolia, it's for people with no imagination.

He then asked if he could pop in to see what I'd done with the place.

Sure I said, yep he walked in to see my freshly painted magnolia hallway, and large tub of magnolia paint blush smile

NadiaWadia Fri 23-Aug-13 04:42:47

The other mother was not 'quite right' to give you a mouthful, she was a loon. 'no wonder children end up getting bullied'... WTF, that's pure nonsense.

It's just unfortunate her DD overheard, but how were you to know? You have nothing to feel bad about, really!

Runningchick123 Fri 23-Aug-13 07:14:46

I want a link to a picture of the ugly trousers.

I have permanent foot in mouth disease so regularly just say what I think and don't really care about other people not liking it. The OP saved that poor child from being taunted by somebody in the playground about wearing ugly trousers.

MrsCampbellBlack Fri 23-Aug-13 07:20:05

The other mother over-reacted - so its your fault her DD may get bullied because you commented to your own DD that the trousers were ugly!

When I'm shopping with my DD, she will often pull out the vilest items and I say no its horrible polyester/ugly/horrible colour as I'm talking to her and not paying attention to what other people are buying.

And as others have said, you've hopefully saved her DD from the 'ugly' trousers.

Unless the other mother is Sainsbo's chief trouser stitcher, I can't see what she's got to complain about. She sounds like a hairy menace and you were not in the wrong.

Lilacroses Fri 23-Aug-13 08:25:07

You thought the trousers were ugly, you had every right to say so in a private conversation with your Dc! You didn't know that they were sta ding behind youhaving chosen them. It's notyour fault, It'sembarrassing for you but that's life! Don't dwell on it. Other mum was completely ott to react like that.

Lilacroses Fri 23-Aug-13 08:29:47

How about the other mum teaching her Dd that different people have different opinions?

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