wondering what all these families do in town centres all the time?

(227 Posts)
LadyMilfordHaven Thu 22-Aug-13 15:58:33

( well not ALL the time but more often than not)

yup - occasionally you all need to go in for something or you are on your way back from somewhere/on holiday mooching.

but IME the best shopping ( for say school stuff) is one parent BOLTS in ninja style and is in and out.

TOday there are endless family groups with tired hot whingey kids ( understandably).... is this fun?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Thu 22-Aug-13 16:06:58

We go to the museum

LadyMilfordHaven Thu 22-Aug-13 16:07:30

this was shops

dragging kids

Maybe if they are school shopping, they need the kids to try stuff on?

Or maybe they are window shopping, to get the kids out of the house and away from tv/computers etc?

LadyMilfordHaven Thu 22-Aug-13 16:10:49

i think so. HOW DULL

Shutupanddrive Thu 22-Aug-13 16:14:38

biscuit

At the moment, my house is a bit messy and cluttered with boxes because we're moving so I took the kids out with DH. It was complete and utter hell- five kids under 6 and I'm pregnant and feeling sick, and I managed to stand it for an hour before we gave up and went home. We took the older ones out for schools stuff a bit later but we did it in record time- kids get whiny and whingy and bored- my idea of a nightmare.

I never understand why the whole family goes food shopping-that is weird.

LadyMilfordHaven Thu 22-Aug-13 16:16:19

normally as the mum cant drive ( sigh)

we had one on here once where she couldnt and her H woulnt let her do online

freak a zeak

mind you add to that the mners who wont drove on motorways, answer the door or phone or talk to anyone on holiday

Tee2072 Thu 22-Aug-13 16:16:32

My son, who is four, enjoys wandering the city centre as much as I do. We go to the mall and he rides the rides, have lunch out and look at toys and things in the shops.

If you never take your kids shopping, they will never learn how to behave in shops.

ILetHimKeep20Quid Thu 22-Aug-13 16:16:35

Maybe they're killing time between buses

LadyMilfordHaven Thu 22-Aug-13 16:18:57

thats a fair point tee.
If he likes it. I used to like taking one

Libertine73 Thu 22-Aug-13 16:19:03

My DS loves the city, we do boring stuff/fun stuff/ boring stuff/ice cream/boring stuff it can take a whole day, but he loves it!

My DD is just 2 though, and she is an unadulterated PITA!

MrsBucketxx Thu 22-Aug-13 16:19:15

Maybe like me your on your own a lot and dont have anyone local to drop your children with.

Single parents are like this too.

I like to keep spare times like weekends for family fun time, not chores I can do with the dc in the week.

gintastic Thu 22-Aug-13 16:22:51

Taking one is fine. Taking 2 is pushing it. Taking all 3 of mine is asking for a shouty Mummy and grumpy kids. Thank goodness for online shopping!

WorraLiberty Thu 22-Aug-13 16:23:04

If you have to buy your kids uniforms and you have no-one to mind the pre schoolers, you have to take them all I suppose?

I'm not sure where driving comes into this though, that's a bit confusing.

LadyMilfordHaven Thu 22-Aug-13 16:23:37

oh random ranting wink

Beastofburden Thu 22-Aug-13 16:25:46

WRT Uniforms, as the great Libby purves used to say, take a tape measure. Not the kids. Tape measures do not fight and whinge all day. Ad surely it can be done online?

I also really don't get the women who drag bored men along clothes shopping. They just hang about in shops, getting in the way of everyone else, knowing that all they can say is, that looks lovely darling.

Tee2072 Thu 22-Aug-13 16:26:09

I don't get the driving comment either Worra. Why anyone would want to drive into a town centre is beyond me as parking costs a bomb.

Taking the bus is also fun for my son.

Granted, I'm one of those non-drivers OP is apparently disparaging. But that's financial and nothing else.

Toomuchcontact Thu 22-Aug-13 16:27:13

Agree

I have a friend who goes in twice a week with all four kids. No shopping or museums she just goes to town and window shops, then moans kids were annoying.

I map my shop route in my head, promise sausage rolls if well behaved and speed walk the whole thing.

Don't mind uniform shopping. The people that work in the uniform shop only have to look at the DC and they know what size to get out, and they are super helpful.

I don't take my DSs to town together as it's boring for me. CEX, GAME, Sports Direct, Top Man? No ta.

EndoplasmicReticulum Thu 22-Aug-13 16:32:19

We were in town today, had to buy some birthday cards and go to the library. Just me and boys as husband is at work. I suppose we might have mooched a bit as well. Oh and we got a geocache.

Libertine73 Thu 22-Aug-13 16:35:13

No, I would never take my DP clothes shopping, I hate it anyway, but after Christmas we both had vouchers to spend and had to go to town anyway, I didn't even try and spend mine,it's just too stressful when I know he's waiting and I want to try on a 10, then a 12 then sobbing, a 14.

MrsMook Thu 22-Aug-13 16:36:07

I've been into town today. 3rd time this year. Made more of a trip of it with the bus as DS1 (2) loves them. He was OK apart from being desperate to own Thomas plates in Boots and Thomas wrapping paper in the card shop. When he got stroppy it was time for a piggyback in a sling. DS2 was great, but 4m is a bit young to kick up a stink. McDonalds was hell. Think it was a sinbin for disaffected, shopped out toddlers. We gained a free fishfinger from the seat behind which was being used as a climbing frame.

Hopefully that's my relationship with town done for another 3 months.

Could have been worse... I could have taken DH. I managed 3 shops before food with DS1. He's so much more patient than his father.

everlong Thu 22-Aug-13 16:37:01

Same reason as you I expect OP.

specialsubject Thu 22-Aug-13 16:46:23

shopping is a method of buying things, not a recreation. Why would anyone window shop, unless needing new windows?

problem is that it is pushed as a reasonable thing to do, because it means people spend money.

wonderingsoul Thu 22-Aug-13 16:46:57

funnily enough i dont have any one to leave my two kids with.. so yes.. where ever i go they go to..funny that.

wonderingsoul Thu 22-Aug-13 16:47:59

oh and id rarther not spend on delivery fees if i dont have to.

FourGates Thu 22-Aug-13 16:51:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Libertine73 Thu 22-Aug-13 16:52:32

My DP does our shopping, and I can drive! smile

Pascha Thu 22-Aug-13 16:54:55

I tagged along last time DH went to get his hair cut in town, about 3 weeks ago, with both children just because I wanted a change of scenery, thought I could bum about with them for 40 minutes then get coffee somewhere nice and head to the park.

Why? what got into me? Our town centre is full of nothing. No good shops, nowhere for the children apart from the library which is no fun on a scorching hot day, lots of desperate-looking women with desperate-looking children tagging along behind or dragging their feet in inadequate pushchairs. Nobody looked happy. Its very depressing. I vowed never to go again without having something particular to do.

RobinSparkles Thu 22-Aug-13 16:55:50

Ooh, I have a FULL HOUSE!

DH and I often go shopping together because we both like shopping. Fancy that! The children come too because, well we can't leave them on their own, can we? Silly billy!

And I don't drive (aren't I annoying and stupid?!) so we've been food shopping together because supermarkets don't deliver to our house yet, so can't do online.

Thurlow Thu 22-Aug-13 16:57:08

I think the list of reasons why the kids might be with the parents is probably longer than the list of reasons why not...

mercibucket Thu 22-Aug-13 16:57:58

we buy the daily mail to get free lego (no obligation to read it), then go for a coffee and cake, pop to game and exchange a few games for new ones, go to the library, have a look at whatever is going on in town (food festival, dancing, sports, music), get a sausage roll, go to asda to spend a quid so we get free parking, go home.

its ok, kids like it

ILetHimKeep20Quid Thu 22-Aug-13 16:59:07

Sometimes it's nice to have the input of the other grown up in the house when it comes to the food shop.

LifeofPo Thu 22-Aug-13 16:59:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnneUulmelmahay Thu 22-Aug-13 16:59:52

This will be us on Saturday [glum]

Need to visit the uniform shop, we did the Great Handmedown Trouser Tryon and nope, biggun too tall, little un too stout. Grrrr.

LifeofPo Thu 22-Aug-13 17:00:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChocsAwayInMyGob Thu 22-Aug-13 17:01:50

There's lots going on in our town centre. I have nobody to leave the kids with. If we need something we all go and the boys like it. Recreational shopping is fun. There's a library, cafes, toy shops, a market. Some of us actually enjoy it and it is no crime.

I do however draw the line at taking them all grocery shopping. I do that online.

YABU.

I do Click and Collect now. Everyone gets to add what they want to the trolley then I go and pick it up. But nobody had to actually go into the horrible supermarket, or wait in for delivery.

ChocsAwayInMyGob Thu 22-Aug-13 17:04:06

Sometimes it's nice to have the input of the other grown up in the house when it comes to the food shop.

I agree but we still do it online. I just ask DH what he fancies for eat next week and then order it.

I find this in my town, even if its not the hols. I used to see the same people wandering around with their children everyday. They would be there when I was walking o work and still there wandering around seven hours later when I left work. Considering all the shops that have been closing down, all the empty spaces and the fact that it's only charity shops and pubs in the centre did make me question what the hell they did all day grin still each to their own grin

Fluffy1234 Thu 22-Aug-13 17:06:43

We enjoy shopping as a family on a Saturday afternoon. We have a Costa, look in the book shops, exchange old games, buy some sweets or school stuff from pound land. Can't see the problem myself.

dexter73 Thu 22-Aug-13 17:09:30

It's cheaper for me to drive into town than catch the bus. £6 return each on the bus, £3 for 2 hours parking.

Vagndidit Thu 22-Aug-13 17:16:52

As a near town centre dweller who spends nearly every day in town with a 5 year old in tow, I often wonder what on Earth do people do outside of towns in dullsville suburbs or countryside. The quiet alone would drive me mad. wink

mrsjay Thu 22-Aug-13 17:21:10

where are you supposed to leave the kids if you are going into town confused especially if they are school shopping I am really confused as to what you mean are people not supposed to go to town as a family get bits and pieces go for a drink or whatever

mrsjay Thu 22-Aug-13 17:22:45

I need to take dd to town to pick up school stuff they need to try it on still confused

mrsjay Thu 22-Aug-13 17:25:42

we had one on here once where she couldnt and her H woulnt let her do online

Mightve been me I can't drive and he hates doing online shop so we dont he goes the majority of the time on his own though

SaucyJack Thu 22-Aug-13 17:28:48

Why would you not take kids food shopping?

Kids need to learn to do the normal, boring shit too. It's part of growing up.

mrsjay Thu 22-Aug-13 17:29:46

oh that sums it up kids need to learn the boring shit too grin I love that

LifeofPo Thu 22-Aug-13 17:31:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsjay Thu 22-Aug-13 17:32:58

I dont really recreational shop but i will take the dds to town or they came with me when i needed something it was much better to saunter and making a morning/afternoon of it that than rushing them about and back home

ShoeWhore Thu 22-Aug-13 17:32:59

Dh and I both like to get each other's opinion on new clothes. I like to try stuff on the dcs before we buy. So sometimes we all have to go together (try not to do it too often though!)

ChocsAwayInMyGob Thu 22-Aug-13 17:34:59

Saucy Jack- I do take the kids for a top up shop, but for a big shop where I am doing budgets, lists, nutrition, packed lunches, menu plans then no. It will all go out of my head, even if I have a list. My youngest is 3, no way am I doing a big family food shop with two of them in tow.

Besides which, when you shop online you don't have to carry it all home.

NoComet Thu 22-Aug-13 17:35:03

Living in the middle if nowhere family shopping, town centre and food is a general getting all jobs done for one lot of petrol ploy.

If DH is shopping he is interacting with his family not in his computer, DD1 isn't reading and DD2 isn't playing SIMs.

If the tribe are in a supermarket they might just do some sodding meal planning rather than leave it to me!

ChocsAwayInMyGob Thu 22-Aug-13 17:36:36

There won't be any shops by the time dd is an adult

Depressing but true if we all give up shopping,

BadRoly Thu 22-Aug-13 17:41:09

I dragged mine into town yesterday as I had to do some banking, go to butcher and pick up a couple of other bits I can only get in town. It was hellish and as it is a tourist destination it was busier than usual.

The children were bribed with hot chocolates at our favourite cafe at the start then gingerbread men in M&S cafe at the end and a bus ride back up the hill.

I'm hoping not to have to repeat the experience this school holiday!

Hadmeathello Thu 22-Aug-13 17:44:19

Agree with OP. Don't understand why anybody does this through choice. Feels like a waste of resources to me too. Why should five of you go when one can do the job. Would be different if it was fun but whenever I see these families they all look miserable.

LittleMissGerardButlerfan Thu 22-Aug-13 17:46:40

I must be a terrible parent we go into town a lot as its in walking distance and something to do, and sometimes I let them have a sausage roll from Gregg's, and I don't drive shock

CorrineFoxworth Thu 22-Aug-13 17:50:07

We all go food shopping. It's the holidays. DH doesn't ever know what he wants to eat unless he sees it in front of him so he browses with the children and I escape to look at make-up get the staples.

DontmindifIdo Thu 22-Aug-13 17:55:00

SaucyJack - Kids need to learn to do the normal, boring shit too. It's part of growing up. - why? I mean, supermarkets aren't a very complex thing for anyone to master once they are a grown up, you've got your whole adult life to do boring shit like that if you want too (which as most supermarkets do delivery and often for free for a full big family shop, it's a choice to go to the supermarket to do the big shop).

They really don't need to learn that shopping is a recreational experience, shopping should be to go and get stuff. I will never understand window shopping, surely the only good bit about shopping if finding somehting you want, and then owning it, what's the point of just looking at stuff you have no intention of owning? And I'll never understand anyone enjoying food shopping at supermarkets or trying to make that an 'event' - freaks.

Xmasbaby11 Thu 22-Aug-13 18:03:21

Not everyone has the choice, and I can't see why not if it isn't too often. Children need to learn to do some routine tasks and that not every activity is fun and child centred.

Xmasbaby11 Thu 22-Aug-13 18:07:16

Usually DH and I take it in turns to take DD out to the shops etc so the other one can get stuff done around the house. She does quite enjoy it though and is well behaved - maybe I would feel differently if she hated it!

TheWickedBitchOfTheBest Thu 22-Aug-13 18:09:08

I witnessed this in town today. Family groups trudgingly morosely from shop to shop. No smiles, no conversation just grim faced determination and sharp voiced commands.

Why put everyone through it? I prefer to operate Ninja style. In and out, alone, zip zip zip. Then relax in Costa with a coffee and a cake.

I've yet to understand why you see whole families food shopping. It's one of the great mysteries of the universe. Mum, Dad, various squabbling children and a few tiny ones grizzling and kicking off.

I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than food shop with my DH and DCs and I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

As for taking your DH or DCs when you're clothes shopping for yourself. Fuck. Why punish everyone? My SIL insists that her poor DH HAS to accompany her whenever she buys clothes for herself. He hates it. She hates the fact that he hates but still she makes him do it. She marches him round the shops grinding her teeth in frustration while he mopes at her heels.

FloraFinching Thu 22-Aug-13 18:16:50

my DC think going to Sainsburys is a treat
<mugs>
'tis one of the joys of having Eaters, as opposed to Fussy Eaters - they want to come and help choose the food.

clothes/make-up shopping is always, always done alone though, and not ninja style. i need to take my time, otherwise I end up with a pile o'shite that all goes back <rues coral lipstick panic-purchased during lunch hour>

Turniptwirl Thu 22-Aug-13 18:20:45

I was never taken to the supermarket as a child, my dad used to do it all early on a Sunday morning. Funnily enough I do manage to do my own shopping as an adult perfectly well!

LadyMilfordHaven Thu 22-Aug-13 18:24:47

Agree with wicked bitch. Lol at h coming clothes shopping

PlotTwist Thu 22-Aug-13 18:27:39

I've pretty much always taken my kids shopping with me. Even when I had four of them and two of those were tiny. Didn't have any choice, dh worked such long hours, and now I'm single so I take my (now not so tiny) younger kids with me (older two moved out).

Last year I did the entire uniform shop with two of my kids and a baby grandchild. Mind you, after fifteen years of uniform shopping, I can manage that under three hours with a bunch of kids in tow grin

SaucyJack Thu 22-Aug-13 19:31:39

Well why on Earth not dontmindifIdo

Children are ONLY children, not miniature emperors whose every whim needs to be attended to by a team of willing slaves. They really don't need protecting from the horrors of being at bit bored whilst I shop for dinner.

I just want my kids to grow up having a sane, normal life and part of that means doing normal, everyday stuff such as going to Tesco like every other fecker in the country does. Or tidying bedrooms. Or homework etc. Every day cannot and should not be spent at soft play.

FinallySaidMama Thu 22-Aug-13 19:36:01

Well I like to shop. I even <gasp> enjoy doing the food shop without the DCs so I guess that makes me a 'freak' hmm

DH and I like to wander round the shops and so does DD (3) she gets to look at the toys, has a doughnut at the 'doughnut shop' and gets to ride on the train that goes around the mall.

But guess what. I hate going hiking. I also hate doing the garden. I'd rather gouge my own fucking eyes out than do fucking boring hiking/gardening. It doesn't mean I think people who do enjoy doing these things are freaks.

I enjoy shopping too FinallySaid but I hate doing it with all the DC. I like doing it with one or two of thm thought, because then we have a natter and they get to choose a treat, it's no a stressful big journey, it's just a normal part of life, so can be quite relaxing. Not with all of my DC though.

ukatlast Thu 22-Aug-13 19:49:41

Well said FinallySaidMama - although I do like shopping and hiking...with you on the gardening though. It hardly makes us freaks.

ukatlast Thu 22-Aug-13 19:51:19

Some of us only have 2 DC so once they get past a certain age it is very civilised indeed...sitting in cafes etc etc what's not to like, at least it gets them out of house and off their computers.

CorrineFoxworth Thu 22-Aug-13 19:59:22

I must admit, I really hate seeing red-faced screaming and sweating babies wearing snow-suits, hats gloves and blankets in winter in the fucking mall and it is clear from the fact that the pushchair is nearly tipping backwards from shopping bags that that poor sod has been in there for several hours.

Dancergirl Thu 22-Aug-13 20:02:29

saucyjack you sound like you're just doing it for the sake of making the point of children learning to do boring stuff.

No-ones saying anything about going to soft play every day or entertaining them all the time. Yes it's ok for dc to be bored sometimes but why can't they be bored hanging around at home rather than hot stuffy shops?

kinkyfuckery Thu 22-Aug-13 20:24:03

FourGates
Here's a novel idea, leave kids at home/park with one parent and the other go shopping (unless disabilities make impossible).

Sigh. I did try to leave them at home..... but the police told me to fuck off.
Then I tried to leave them with their other parent..... but my ex husband told me to fuck off.
Then I tried to take them with me, and some judgemental cunt on the internet didn't realise she's not the centre of the universe.... so I told her to fuck off too.

MrsKoala Thu 22-Aug-13 20:32:54

Supermarket shopping - DH takes me because i can't drive, not sure why that is (sigh) inducing.

Shopping centre - we go together because we have a few bits to pick up here and there and then we go for lunch. In Milton Keynes shopping is the ultimate past time.

mumandboys123 Thu 22-Aug-13 20:33:16

well said kinkyfuckery.....oh to have a perfect life and perfect children, eh?!

Dancergirl Thu 22-Aug-13 20:34:41

I'm actually amazed that so many people still insist on doing a big supermarket shop when there are so many good online options. Even if you like to choose fresh produce yourself, is it not easier to order groceries/bottles/household items etc online and have them delivered?

MrsKoala Thu 22-Aug-13 20:40:48

I also really don't get the women who drag bored men along clothes shopping. They just hang about in shops, getting in the way of everyone else, knowing that all they can say is, that looks lovely darling.

You've clearly never met my DH! He often tells me things look shit. Usually things i love confused

We often all go into town. It's a day out and we do enjoy it. Mind you, I don't drag the kids round loads of shops just looking, we go in a few shops for the things we need and then dp takes them to the park while I go for a coffee on my own.

As for supermarkets, we quite often do this, too. Why?
- neither of us drive so we have to walk
- two adults can carry far more groceries home than one
- he can carry the heavy shit like washing powder
- the kids get some exercise and it's a fairly pleasant walk
- the kids are no trouble at all in supermarkets and never have been; often buy them a mini bag of fruit or a £1 toy car

Silverfoxballs Thu 22-Aug-13 20:48:49

I hate shopping and spend as little time as possible doing it. DS has been in to town with me twice this holiday and once was for school trousers shopping. Other time was a visit to the small free museum and lunch out.

DH goes to a retail outlet twice a year and literally runs round his two shops of choice Jaeger and M&S.

Capitola Thu 22-Aug-13 20:50:26

I did the school outfitters yesterday, Ninja style.

I'm telling you I was in and out in 15 minutes and £210 lighter.

I was barking, 'try it on, take it off...' Kids didn't know what hit them.

LEMisdisappointed Thu 22-Aug-13 20:55:29

So, im a freak because i can't drive then? hmm

LEMisdisappointed Thu 22-Aug-13 20:59:52

What is the actual point of this thread?

LimitedEditionLady Thu 22-Aug-13 21:27:40

What is weird about doing the food shop with more than one person?We pick our meals together.My ds likes to go to the supermarket,pick out his fruit and veg choose a treat,help mummy and daddy....he understands that we go and buy food and it doesnt appear in the cupboard,he understands what money is for and yes it is good to do chores with us.We are a family,we do things together.Just because we visit the bloody shops it doesnt mean we do nothing else with him,he goes to two parks every day its not rainibg,he goes swimming and so much more.what is the poibt of this thread?you sound like a snobby self righteous fool.What is it to you what other people do?

mercibucket Thu 22-Aug-13 21:36:10

some of you really dont get 'town'

its all about the cafes, the bookshops, the street entertainment, the skatepark, greggs, primark.

my kids love it - whats not to like?

TheWickedBitchOfTheBest Thu 22-Aug-13 21:39:26

I get that some people actually enjoy shopping together and you can spot them because they actually look happy and engaged with each other.

I'm talking about the families who clearly aren't happy shopping, you know the Mum with a face like a hatchet and the Dad looking glum and the kids trying to kick each other.

My DCs have been in a supermarket a few times so they're perfectly aware of where food comes from. They've even visited a few farms so they understand where the supermarkets get the food from. They're not interested in picking out their individual fruit and veg because they just can't seem to get that intense about fruit and veg. But yeah they know what supermarkets do.

So, box ticked. Luckily it's not a lesson they need to re-learn on an ongoing weekly basis.

greensnail Thu 22-Aug-13 21:45:29

My dds ask to go into town all the time. The other day I asked shall we go to the park, the zoo or the beach today and dd1 asked to go to the shops instead. Their favourite is a children's charity shop, but they're quite happy in any shop creating long lists of everything they'd like for Christmas. They enjoy seeing whatever buskers are in town and we generally get a coffee and go to the library too. Today they dragged me round an out of town shopping centre, they got to have their faces painted, do some colouring in and look and various pets, then we had a coffee and I bought a few bits in home bargains.

I try to avoid taking them to the supermarket though, I prefer to do that by myself if possible.

mumandboys123 Thu 22-Aug-13 21:46:06

so those of us who have no choice but to shop with our children or who enjoy shopping with our children should do it differently to keep you happy?

CorrineFoxworth Thu 22-Aug-13 21:47:29

Norwich is particularly crowded these days.

RobinSparkles Thu 22-Aug-13 21:49:41

Thinking about it, we go shopping a lot as a family. It never struck me as "odd".

I can go clothes shopping on my own anytime, if I want to, but I hate shopping on my own. I like to get DH's opinion as he's always honest. Even if I go with a friend, most of them would tell me I looked lovely even if I looked like a sack of spuds!

RandallPinkFloyd Thu 22-Aug-13 21:51:51

Does no one just enjoy doing things together?

I married XDH because I enjoyed spending time with him. The boring everyday stuff seemed less tedious if we did it together. Going shopping is one of the times I miss him the most. Wandering round the supermarket on my own buying things in one-person portions is fucking depressing.

DS goes everywhere with me. I don't have a choice in that but tbh I'm not sure I'd change it even if I could. Why trudge round in silence when I can talk nonsense with a 2yo instead?

I don't know, MN is like a bizarre parallel universe sometimes. Full of people who dislike their family and friends.

Goldenbear Thu 22-Aug-13 21:56:16

MrsKoala, yes my DP doesn't hold back with his opinions on some oft choices either. Mind you he's never said something 'Looks shit'. More, 'it's a bit twee darling', 'I don't like this shop at all darling', 'it ages you darling', 'with that dress you look like a Librarian darling', 'it's a bit drab, just need the 'Mum haircut' to go with that outfit' etc.

SirChenjin Thu 22-Aug-13 21:58:12

Town with museums, bookshops, parks, cafes etc is one thing. Town which consists of shopping malls and nothing else - brain numbing tedium. I see entire families round here wandering round inside on lovely days when they could be out for bike rides, going for long country walks or whatever and I just think why? Why drag small children round TKMaxx on a beautiful day? I'm in and out, when it's 100% necessary only, and back home to do interesting stuff.

TheWickedBitchOfTheBest Thu 22-Aug-13 21:58:20

I like my family. Just not within a retail environment.

It's all a bit twee trying to depict your family all food shopping together, like it's some wholesome Boden advert, as you laugh gaily over whether to chose the aubergines or the asparagus.

RandallPinkFloyd Thu 22-Aug-13 22:00:11

Terribly sorry for being twee hmm

TheWickedBitchOfTheBest Thu 22-Aug-13 22:01:05

I like you SirChenjin smile

Young children and glum husbands don't belong in TK Maxx on a Saturday afternoon. Hell I don't belong in a TK Maxx on a Saturday afternoon. If I have to TK Maxx, then I do it ninja style.

Then it's back home to spend time with the folks doing stuff that's far more entertaining.

Goldenbear Thu 22-Aug-13 22:05:54

On a whole I like the countryside, seaside more. We live in a flat so I have to get out with them and this to me means the 'proper' outdoors but occasionally we don't go to the shops as my eldest likes 'Lego' and I will get him the three figures to make for yourself from the Lego shop. We also visit the library and the park near the shops and my youngest who is 2 is excited by the escalator. If we are making a day of it we will get the train for the experience.

Goldenbear Thu 22-Aug-13 22:06:24

Do not 'don't go'

SirChenjin Thu 22-Aug-13 22:12:25

Totally agree TheWickedBitchOfTheBest

We once took part in a long term study of family life in Scotland that the local University here was running. One of the things they looked at was how families spend their leisure time, and an option on the questionnaire was 'shopping'. I thought she was joking - some families actually think of 'shopping' as a leisure activity? confused

slenderman Thu 22-Aug-13 22:20:34

what a snooty thread!

shopping is a leisure activity surely, it's done during leisure time isn't it.

slenderman Thu 22-Aug-13 22:21:54

what do you all do that's more rewarding then, because john lewis on a saturday and ikea seem to be heaving with people who maybe should be out canoeing or something more suited to their middle classness

LimitedEditionLady Thu 22-Aug-13 22:26:23

I dont take my ds to the supermarket weekly to teach him weekly about a supermarket the wickedbitch.I dont think you need to tick a box i wasnt claiming you were depriving your child of an educational outing,touch sensitive about a post that is basically about nothing.
Also can i ask,these families with glum faces.Could they not be popping in just as a one off?you dont know they are doing it for fun.
So are you a better parent as you dont go shopping?are you more exciting?Why do you care so much what other people are doing unless you think you are better than them by what you do?

justgivemeareason Thu 22-Aug-13 22:26:40

I used to quite enjoy taking dd shopping around town when she was in a pushchair and would fall asleep for an hour. Now it's smash and grab or online.

MrsKoala Thu 22-Aug-13 22:28:13

SirChenjin - it is a leisure activity in a lot of areas. My sister would no more ride a bike, go walking, go to a museum etc than she would climb mount Everest. But she goes to debenhams every single day.

But there are also times when i needed to pick up something in town (MK hideous shopping mall not naice bookshops) regardless of how nice the day is outside, and wandered round tkmaxx while there.

I think it is the norm for lots of people. Every friday we had a team meeting and had to go round saying what our weekend plans were (morale boosting dontchaknow) and apart from me, everyone would say going shopping. There would be ripples of excitement if someone said a different centre, like Luton <shudder>. I once said i was going to see an exhibition at the british museum and was openly mocked by my boss to much laughing by colleagues -yep my morale was really boosted that day i can tell you. hmm

LimitedEditionLady Thu 22-Aug-13 22:28:53

I dont class shopping as leisure time but i dont look at people who do like theyre odd.

FloraFinching Thu 22-Aug-13 22:29:41

LOL at the ripple of excitement for Luton

SirChenjin Thu 22-Aug-13 22:34:14

I wouldn't call wandering round an indoor shopping mall a 'leisure activity', no. There are a million and one more interesting things that a family could do than wander about a shopping mall with young kids in tow every Saturday.

slenderman Thu 22-Aug-13 22:38:25

perhaps they do that on sundays sir wink

walking around mk shopping centre surely is a workout in itself, it's huge!

i can do luton in half an hour though and not leave the arndale cente (or whatever it's called now) grin

SirChenjin Thu 22-Aug-13 22:41:01

Perhaps they do Slender! grin

I agree that walking around a shopping centre is good exercise, but not when you've got bored children in tow who refuse to walk faster than 1 mile a fortnight!

MrsKoala Thu 22-Aug-13 22:51:33

i once lapped MK over 4 times in 30 mins 'speed shopping' with 6 week old ds who screamed blue murder when i dropped below a certain mph. It was like the home counties version of 'Speed', complete with returning an unsuitable garment to Next in 2 exciting installments.

elQuintoConyo Thu 22-Aug-13 22:56:34

Horrible thread biscuit

SirChenjin Thu 22-Aug-13 22:57:50

biscuit and a cup of brew right back at you

What is the matter with everyone? confused

SirChenjin Thu 22-Aug-13 23:06:38

What? I just gave the lady a biscuit and a cup of tea <wide eyed and innocent emoticon>

grin

slenderman Thu 22-Aug-13 23:10:20

grin mrs koala

MrsDeVere Thu 22-Aug-13 23:12:08

Just when you think there is nothing left to be weirdly smug about.
MN comes up trumps yet again.

everlong Thu 22-Aug-13 23:15:07

LOL. You're not wrong MrsD. Jeez.

We go into Manchester a lot as a family. Have a coffee, watch the buskers, mooch in the book shop. Nothing spectac but it's nice time.

It's like a big defensiveness competition. grin

everlong Thu 22-Aug-13 23:22:11

<snort> that's MN full stop.

LimitedEditionLady Thu 22-Aug-13 23:24:03

Sirchenjin,youre clearly better than all these people.Shopping with kids.Its just disgusting isnt it.They wont be as highly intelligent and charming as you as adults.

Or as irritating or fuckin smug.

confused

SaucyJack Thu 22-Aug-13 23:35:36

No Dancergirl, I don't take the dc's shopping for "the sake of making a point"

I take them because they're in the habit of eating, and as such, food shopping needs to be done. End of.

It just never would've occured to me before reading some of the tripe some of you on here spout to make special childcare arrangements merely because they might not find buying potatoes the most exciting thing they'll do all week.

Dancergirl Fri 23-Aug-13 00:19:54

Still don't buy it saucyjack Just because food shopping and countless other chores need to be done doesn't mean the entire family has to be involved!

And unless you are a single parent, one parent doing a chore whilst the other stays with the dc hardly counts as 'special childcare arrangements'.

Jinsei Fri 23-Aug-13 00:40:07

I nearly always take dd with me when I go shopping. She is 8. I wouldn't call it a leisure activity but I don't dislike it. We both enjoy a change of scenery, we often nip to a nice cafe or the library, and we generally enjoy each other's company. DH sometimes joins us, on the understanding that we will go in separate directions if either he or I need clothes. I quite like it when we all go together, but it's not the be all and end all. We do other stuff as well. I don't really get why people find it strange. confused

Jinsei Fri 23-Aug-13 00:43:07

Oh, and I usually give dd the choice as to whether she wants to come to the supermarket with me or not. 9 times out of ten, she will say yes. Don't ask me why she likes to come, but it's nice to have the company and she's much better at bag-packing than your average check-out assistant!

SaucyJack Fri 23-Aug-13 01:00:14

And I still don't get what there is for you or the OP or any of the other silly posters on here to not buy Dancergirl

Taking the children to the supermarket because you need groceries or going into town because the kids need new clothes is not some weird or outlandish practice that needs any more thought or explanation than just because.

I remain firmly convinced that 100 per cent of the rest of the UK manages to do it on a daily basis without feeling the need to pass comment or start goady threads on baby forums.

And yes, I could wait until my DP gets in from work at 8pm to shop or do it all online just so the little darlings never need set foot in a shop..... but really? Why would I? It's making more of an issue out of something that wasn't a problem in the first place.

WestieMamma Fri 23-Aug-13 01:10:13

Is Ikea not a tourist attraction then? confused

Hulababy Fri 23-Aug-13 01:33:23

We - me, dh and dd - will sometimes go into town for a wander, coffee, maybe lunch. Dd doesn't winge. She likes town. We will visit other cities and also mooch. It's not all we do - museums, parks, zoo ..... Etc all on the cards but sometimes on a lazy weekend we might head town way to mooch for a bit. Doesn't cost us anything to park in town as DH has a parking permit through his work.

Hulababy Fri 23-Aug-13 01:35:23

Should say though - rarely food shop unless just something quick for that night. I do food shopping online.

WaitressRose Fri 23-Aug-13 02:19:14

my DD regards a walk in the forest/trip to the museum as a form of child abuse - she'd much rather a trip to bloody Claire's Accessories or a cake in Costa grin Clearly, I've failed Sir Chengin's Worthy Parent test but I think I can live with that ...

ChocsAwayInMyGob Fri 23-Aug-13 08:19:25

*Saucy Jack*- I agree with every word! well put.

LimitedEditionLady Fri 23-Aug-13 08:27:21

Yes saucy jack,i agree too.what a bloody stupid thread.

LimitedEditionLady Fri 23-Aug-13 08:28:34

Haha yes waitressrose i think my nieces would be much the same.

Dancergirl Fri 23-Aug-13 08:29:47

Fair enough saucyjack. I don't think the OP is talking about what you are describing though. There is a difference between doing what is needed and families hanging around the shops for hours with no particular needs in mind.

Just out of interest, when your dc are old enough to stay home alone, will you let them or do they still have to come with you?

Oh and I think for the vast majority of people who do online food shopping do it for THEIR benefit NOT their dc's. Nothing wrong with that either.

Floatsyourboat Fri 23-Aug-13 08:32:47

Yuck! I hate taking my kids shopping and will go on my own in the car! I don't mind driving on motorways and enjoy a good mooch about the shops but I won't take my kids unless they have birthday/Christmas money to spend or shoes to fit.

LimitedEditionLady Fri 23-Aug-13 08:39:26

How do people know families hang around in shops?are you hanging out there too?

Silverfoxballs Fri 23-Aug-13 09:08:13

I thought this was a thread about shopping for pleasure and nothing to do with food shopping.

None of my family like shopping for pleasure, it doesn't mean we are off doing something worthy instead either.

I know my boss used to go in to our city centre every week, as does a really nice friend of mine. I suppose I think it is a good job someone does because they pay for parking, lunch and buy clothes etc. I joke to my mate that she keeps the high st economy going.

Thepowerof3 Fri 23-Aug-13 09:30:37

When I couldn't drive and we couldn't afford a computer to shop online we all had to go shopping en masse, I felt bad enough about myself for not being able to drive and being called a freak would've pushed me over the edge. Occasionally I'd walk the couple of miles to the nearest supermarket so as not to drag the kids along but obviously there was a limit to how much I could carry.

Soditall Fri 23-Aug-13 09:45:01

We take all 5 of our DC into town with us and it's always fine.

They love to help pick out bits we are getting for them and we have a mooch round shops they want to look in and then we all go for a nice lunch together.

LtEveDallas Fri 23-Aug-13 09:54:42

DD enjoys coming food shopping with me. She gets to choose a meal and get the ingredients for it herself (which is why we now add red and yellow peppers to bolognaise). She also knows that I am likely to buy her something from the clothes/toys are if we are at the 'big' Tesco. Oh and she almost always decides she is starving so we have to go to the cafe too because she likes the kids snack boxes. She had learned how to set up the shopping in the most efficient way on the conveyor belt and paying makes her feel 'grown up'

We walk round 'town' as a family because we like it. We tend to have a couple of items 'in mind' but end up buying more - last week it was a pair of quirky dragon candlesticks that DD and I thought were amazing, they don't go with anything in our home or caravan, but were just too cool to leave behind! When she was a toddler DH would would take her to town solely so she could feed the pigeons. The bus was like an adventure for her and it kept her busy for 3 hours when he was going mad staring at the walls.

Although shoe shopping drives me INSANE. I wish she didnt have to come for that.

Jinsei Fri 23-Aug-13 10:50:42

When I read threads like this, I find myself wondering how revolting other people's children are. I mean, can an afternoon in town really be so painful.....?

ubik Fri 23-Aug-13 10:55:26

my sister worked at Bluewater for years and would be hmm at the families wandering around week after week. She was especially shocked at Boxing Day when few of the shops were open but families would just come in to wander round the shops they wandered around when xmas shopping a few days before!

The only time I take the kids is school shoe/uniform shopping and it is pure hell.

ubik Fri 23-Aug-13 10:56:40

Jinsel it's the constant: "I'm tired, I need a wee, I'm hungry, I'm tired, I want a toy, I'm hungry...

TheWickedBitchOfTheBest Fri 23-Aug-13 11:16:01

I can just think of a zillion more interesting past times for our family, than just trawling round the same shops on a regular weekly basis. But horses for courses I s'pose.

TheWickedBitchOfTheBest Fri 23-Aug-13 11:22:13

Obviously it's unavoidable that you have to drag everyone into the city a few times per year. Our bi annual uniform and shoe shop is scheduled in for next Tuesday [shudders]

And yeah, it's actually okay because my DCs are pretty laid back and well behaved. We throw in a lesiurely lunch somewhere nice and usually a cinema trip at the end of the day as something to look forward to.

But going into town on a regular weekly basis, month in and month out? Sod that. Life's too short and when I look back on my life I don't want to realise I'd spent 40% of our famiy's free time together mooching around Ikea and Tesco on a weekly basis.

Thepowerof3 Fri 23-Aug-13 11:28:13

YY to that

ubik Fri 23-Aug-13 11:30:28

Oh God mine ask to go to Ikea

They love Smaland and the fish and chips. And we go for dinner sometimes because we are weak tired from work..

Astr0naut Fri 23-Aug-13 11:38:37

I'm very jealous of all you people who actually have stuff to do in your town centre. In ours we have:

A main road (generally clogged).
Iceland.
Cash for clothes.
Cash for gold.
Discount shops.
Bookies.
Pubs.

Not really a lot for the DCs there. I'll take them to the supermarket near us for a walk and a mooch, but only if I don't actually need anything important. Proper shopping has to be done online or in a shopping park. Taking dcs if I go clothes shopping just ruins it.

MrsMook Fri 23-Aug-13 11:41:24

The point of the thread is about those who do it routinely out of "leisure" but apparently not derviving any enjoyment from the experience. Not those who go and enjoy, nor those who are clearly on a mission (normally those who actually purchase something).

I don't mind the supermarket with DCs. The two I use most frequently don't do online. One has a cafe, so we have a nice lunch out of that, and DS1 is happy with a filled belly. If it was routinely an unpleasant experience, I would go when DH is home. We'll often be there on a Fri evening as a family as the Cafe will feed 3 of us for £8, and as we are there, we may as well top up for the weekend. It's a pleasant enough experience as the supermarket is quiet. 3pm on a Sunday would be very, very different.

SirChenjin Fri 23-Aug-13 11:57:42

Agree MrsMook - it's not about the occasional shopping trip out of necessity with a bribe lunch thrown in, it's about trailing round a shopping mall every weekend with kids in tow and believing it to be a 'leisure activity' hmm.

MrsDavidBowie Fri 23-Aug-13 12:05:32

I don't think we have ever gone shopping anywhere en famille.
Couldn't think of anything worse.

I take dc who are teens out separately (always includes a nice coffee or lunch).
Dh and I only appear in shops together if it is a big purchase eg furniture or white goods.

Mind you I never go shopping with friends either...prefer my own company.

TheWickedBitchOfTheBest Fri 23-Aug-13 12:10:06

Agreee SirChekin, it's the mindless trailing around the shopping centre week in and week out, with no real purpose other than that you can't actually think of anything else to do with your family.

It's souless and depressing.

ExcuseTypos Fri 23-Aug-13 12:11:16

It might the one time a year the whole family of shopping for all you know.

It really doesn't matter though does it.

OP you're first few posts sound rather rude and goady IMO.

samandi Fri 23-Aug-13 12:16:43

How do you know they are the same families in all the time?

cory Fri 23-Aug-13 12:17:31

Would we judge in the same way if it was an Indian or Italian family taking their children around the market and letting them be part of the food shopping?

My own feeling is that British families involve their children relatively little in everyday household activities like DIY or cooking compared to other cultures I know, shopping being one of the few jobs they do do together.

Travelledtheworld Fri 23-Aug-13 12:18:09

Sometimes people just need to get out of the house for half a day and don't have the confidence, knowledge or finances to make long trips to the seaside, National Trust properties, theme parks, go for walks in the countryside etc.

So they just Go to Town where they know where the shops ,cafes and toilets are !

Personally I dash to the nearest town centre ON MY OWN as soon as the kids have gone to school, shop like a maniac before lunchtime and GET THE HELL OUT again.

When my kids were real little I would take them to the big regional shopping centre in Bristol where they had a crèche and I could leave them for an hour to shop quickly and in peace.

TheWickedBitchOfTheBest Fri 23-Aug-13 12:30:08

Travelledtheworld yeah, you're probably right about why they do it. Fucking sad and depressing though.

alemci Fri 23-Aug-13 12:33:24

when mine were younger i used to sometimes go to my mum's at the weekend and we would go up the high street and maybe to the park on the way or feed the ducks. The kids used to like going in the toy shop and it gave them some exercise.

i didn't go very often to the shopping centre with them unless they needed to be with me for say shoes etc. my DH hated shopping so i would go on my own.

it is something to do and i must admit whilst in the USA we went to the shopping mall when it got too hot on the beach

WallaceWindsock Fri 23-Aug-13 12:38:39

I'm shock at this thread! We all do the food shop together because DP likes to go and find ingredients for the dinner he cooks for us every sat night. We do lidl though so online isn't an option.

We often go into town as a family. We have lunch out, do a charity shop crawl and go to the auction. I see no issue with this. DC have a lovely time and so do we. This doesn't mean that we don't spend every Sunday at zoos, parks, museums etc. There is a lack of imagination I think, if you are unable to understand how a trip into town could be a leisure activity.

Well I live in London so we don't have 'town' as such and my kids were always with me when I went shopping, joys of being a single mum I suppose, on the plus side they were always quite big kids so strong enough to carry shopping from a young age. Now they are teenagers I still take them if I need to do a big shop as im another annoying non driver. Why should I pay for my shopping to be delivered when I live 10mins walk from the supermarket.

WallaceWindsock Fri 23-Aug-13 12:42:29

But then maybe I'm just odd. When food shopping DP and I treat it like a challenge games how where he jogs round with the trolley which DCs find hilarious and I race along the aisles lobbing things in. We have a spreadsheet of our record times and everything. grin

alemci Fri 23-Aug-13 13:00:15

i'd definitely rather food shop on my own. DH came last weekend and it was ok. when they were younger had to take dc and it was wearing. glad i don't have to anymore.

ChocsAwayInMyGob Fri 23-Aug-13 13:05:00

Sometimes people just need to get out of the house for half a day and don't have the confidence, knowledge or finances to make long trips to the seaside, National Trust properties, theme parks, go for walks in the countryside etc

Is it me or does this sound a bit patronising?

itsonlysubterfuge Fri 23-Aug-13 13:08:39

I use to LOVE food shopping as a child and I still do. I hated clothes shopping and still do.

HandMini Fri 23-Aug-13 13:10:33

All these families, shopping together in their local town centres and using amenities like buses. Absolutely disgusting.

wink

Lollydaydream Fri 23-Aug-13 13:25:37

Wallace that has immensely cheered me up after reading such a smug, depressing thread.
I like my family and enjoy spending time doing mundane stuff with them. My dd1 has learnt this summer that the Romans had tiled floors and that red labels in supermarkets mean something is on offer. A balanced education. dd2 has been dragged hither and yon in everyone's wake, it's all part of life.

Thurlow Fri 23-Aug-13 13:35:33

Hand grin Absolutely shocked that some families like to spend time together. Or don't have the money to drive or get the bus/train to a suitably middle-class 'experience'.

FinallySaidMama Fri 23-Aug-13 13:59:17

I love it grin another reason why I'm not middle class enough - I enjoy shopping! Don't have the confidence or knowledge to do something worthy like National trust? Nah, it's just fucking boring.

LadyMilfordHaven Fri 23-Aug-13 14:02:32

national trust? Yawnsome

cant the kids just go out on their bikes? Go to a park? Go swimming? rahter than dragging around holding onto a buggy as their mothers and fathers get cross with them

LadyMilfordHaven Fri 23-Aug-13 14:03:00

londoners have towns.. the local shopping area.

ILetHimKeep20Quid Fri 23-Aug-13 14:07:33

But children have to tag along sometimes. Grown ups have things to do.

ShatnersBassoon Fri 23-Aug-13 14:08:57

I had to take mine into town for school shoes last week.There was whining, they trailed behind me as if they were wearing lead boots and embarrassed me by fighting on the escalators. I'm sure someone must have looked at us and wondered why we'd decided to spend our time that way - the truth is we'd all rather have been anywhere else.

Thurlow Fri 23-Aug-13 14:31:43

Well, there's the fact that most kids are awake for about 14 hours in a day. So there's time to go for a bike ride. And go to the park. And go swimming. And go to town. All in one day!

ladymilford my local shopping area is outside my front door, wouldn't call it a town as such just the road I live on.

usualsuspect Fri 23-Aug-13 14:43:35

I never go into town with my DP, he gets on my nerves looking all bored.

Rooners Fri 23-Aug-13 14:55:52

Sparklingbrook Thu 22-Aug-13 16:14:54

I never understand why the whole family goes food shopping-that is weird.
____

Ah sorry. I could send the children on their own, but tbh I think I might get referred to social services if I didn't go with them.

I would use the option of leaving them at home with their other parent if that option was, you know, an option!

Hulababy Fri 23-Aug-13 14:58:49

There's currently a beach in our town centre. Next to the fountains we have in a nice grassed area around the peace gardens. When warm many children are seen playing in the fountains and the grass is used for picnics. The winter gardens full of plants and seating and a cafe is lovely. Theres a smallish museum In here too. The bit near the theatres is nice to sit for a drink and children run around the places area. The big library is here too. Down the road is the big green. Has grass and chairs - the bar, which serves good food too, even has deck chairs on the grass.

We used to live in the city centre so we are very much used to using the centre for mooching and wandering.

We now live right in the edge of town next to the peaks. 5 min walk and we are in fields and open views. We are a mile or two from Stanage Edge. We can walk to Hathersage. The first load of hills contain old practise trenches and the woods has the ruins of the prisoner of war camp. And yes, sometimes we walk and mooch this area too.

Just like a bit of variety for our weekend mooching.

aderynlas Fri 23-Aug-13 15:14:10

Sounds lovely Hulababy and I agree variety for weekend mooching is good. Your town sounds like Sheffield, a place I always like to visit. Love watching the wedding parties in the peace gardens. The trams are brilliant too.

moonsquirter Fri 23-Aug-13 15:23:23

I take all my three food (supermarket) shopping, generally because I have to, but they love it anyway.

DS1 and DS2 sit in the trolley seats (one baby one toddler), DD clings to the side and we call it the supermarket trolley express: Ding Ding All Aboard! And off we go. They help put stuff in the trolley, tell me what veg they want, choose a treat - and I have been known to sprint along to gain maximum speed then skate along the aisle on shiny soled shoes, clinging onto the trolley. It is SO much fun!

I am nearly 40 blush

Rooners I was referring to two parents and the children, sorry didn't mean to be unfair to single parents. I meant if there were 2 adults and the children in the supermarket it would be better to leave one adult and the children at home.

ChocsAwayInMyGob Fri 23-Aug-13 17:25:34

cant the kids just go out on their bikes? Go to a park? Go swimming? rahter than dragging around holding onto a buggy as their mothers and fathers get cross with them

You are generalising massively and sounding massively snobby. I can get cross with my kids anywhere, town or swimming. Sometimes we have to go to into town and sometime we go in to browse the shops and have lunch out as a family.

Since I am not expecting you to pay, it's actually none of your business.

People have been shopping and going to markets to years. It's also a community thing, not just a Mum trying on tops whilst her kids die of boredom FGS.

chinupmummy Fri 23-Aug-13 17:43:33

Has it occurred to anyone else that the more people you take shopping, the more room to hide the shoplifting?! No, just my area then....

Rooners Fri 23-Aug-13 17:48:01

No I agree with you Spark smile I'd certainly do that if I could.

Sometimes I think I just get a little pang at threads like this - where anyonewithout two grown ups in their family can't really join in, I dunno - but anyway. It's how it is!

expatinscotland Fri 23-Aug-13 17:53:49

I have no one to look after my kids so have to take them shopping as a group.

expatinscotland Fri 23-Aug-13 17:56:59

'I meant if there were 2 adults and the children in the supermarket it would be better to leave one adult and the children at home.'

If one of them can't drive then they all have to go.

TwoStepsBeyond Fri 23-Aug-13 17:57:45

When 3 DCs all need new shoes its easier to all go and split up, little ones at Clarks, older one goes with other parent to cool shoe shop!

Now I'm a single parent I don't have that luxury and sometimes have to - shock horror - take all my kids to the shops with me as I have nobody to look after them. I didn't realise I was being judged for it either way.

Next time I will take a template of the DCs' feet along with a list of acceptable styles for each of them and ask the Clarks assistants if they can pop over to my house later to watch the DCs walking up and down in their new shoes to check that they fit.

Can't the none driver stay at home with the children?

AdmiralData Fri 23-Aug-13 18:03:03

YANBU to wonder ... I will tell you what these families do: arrive, browse, insist to DH that we absolutely DO need another plastic dinosaur for DS5 months as 15000 isn't enough, buy it, lunch somewhere bright to entertain DS who is incredibly nosy. More toy shops, game shops, dvd shops, pound shops, comic book shops, refreshments in cafe, childrens park if it is dry, more window shopping arghhhhhh I love it >:} (I reckon this will change when DS gets older and potentially whingy if out for too long but he really does love a good nose :D)

expatinscotland Fri 23-Aug-13 18:04:04

'Can't the none driver stay at home with the children?'

Not if they're the one with the brains when it comes to shopping.

expatinscotland Fri 23-Aug-13 18:04:52

And at any rate, why do you care so much?

Aaah expat I think I know what you mean. wink grin

chinupmummy Fri 23-Aug-13 18:05:15

Oh and also sometimes I take my DH into town to show the neighbours he hasn't left me yet

Chunderella Fri 23-Aug-13 18:06:45

I would imagine the enjoyability (is that a word?) of any particular shopping experience with DC varies hugely depending on:

- number of DC going
- age
- interests and temperament of DC
- length of journey
- weather
- business of shopping venue
- whether the adults present enjoy shopping
- how much has to be done in how much time
- intrinsic stressfulness of activity that will be embarked on eg mooching in bookshop probably more fun than getting school uniform.

EstelleGetty Fri 23-Aug-13 18:09:06

My DM used to take me and DSis into the city centre for shopping all the time when we were wee (Glasgow). She doesn't drive so it was bus all the way. We loved it! If DM was trying stuff on, me and DSis just used to sit and chat shit to each other. We'd go to the Third Eye Centre (a gallery) and look at the pictures. That cost DM nothing and was enjoyable not only for her but for us. Then we'd go get Indian sweets or wander up to the big art galleries at Kelvingrove.

I think of those days spent in the city centre with great fondness. I'm glad my DM didn't or couldn't take us to any sodding theme parks or outdoor activity centres, etc.

dirtyface Fri 23-Aug-13 18:11:27

yanbu

i swear loads of families do walking round town as a leisure activity :S

our kids hate it so we avoid where possible and actually do interesting stuff at the weekend hmm

Crowler Fri 23-Aug-13 18:12:06

My kids like to go shopping. My youngest wants to be a chef. I take him grocery shopping all the time.

I avoided it almost 100% when they were toddlers.

everlong Fri 23-Aug-13 18:14:07

Dear lord. I can't even believe this is a conversation.

I mean some folk take their dc shopping some don't.

It's no biggie either way really is it?

When mine were all small I took them, had no choice, not much fun for anyone but needs must.

AnnoyingOrange Fri 23-Aug-13 18:16:42

We enjoy a browse around town about once a month. We combine a mooch around the shops with lunch out.

My dh and kids are quite sporty, so a lot of the time they are engaged in various separate activities. In contrast, a trip to town for lunch and a browse is quite a sociable family activity.

MrsDeVere Fri 23-Aug-13 18:22:12

omg everlong please don't tell me you take those precious boys <gasp> ...SHOPPING!

What where you thinking?

I thought I knew you <shakes head sadly>

everlong Fri 23-Aug-13 18:29:45

grin fret not the big one won't set foot in the supermarket with me but the younger has to schlepp around with his mother whilst he's on holiday..

But I've not been today.. waited for DH to come home so I can leave them all to browse in peace choose my wine carefully for tonight wink

Well DS1 (14) won't be seen with me at all ever, and DS1 (11) is all 'can I have' so enjoyable isn't the word I would use for a Sparkling family shopping trip.

everlong Fri 23-Aug-13 18:36:25

Go and have a naive shopping trip alone sparky.. leave them to it.

We went for ds4 ( he's 14 next month but going on 30 ) sports stuff for school. It's a small shop on the school site. Rammed.

The lovely young man serving gave ds a pile of clothes to try on, two different sizes.

I pop my head round the corner to ask how he's getting on and he shouts ' stop being so patronising ' Christ I could have sworn at him!

Never again. DH can do it next time

everlong Fri 23-Aug-13 18:37:22

Not bloody naive! Naice wink

ubik Fri 23-Aug-13 18:57:42

Sometimes people just need to get out of the house for half a day and don't have the confidence, knowledge or finances to make long trips to the seaside, National Trust properties, theme parks, go for walks in the countryside etc

Thus made me PMSL

ChocsAwayInMyGob Fri 23-Aug-13 19:30:41

Me too ubik.

It's as if only the poor, ignorant and shy take kids round a town centre. Bless them.

Meanwhile, the knowledgeable, rich and confident can prance round a stately home.

firefly78 Fri 23-Aug-13 20:14:40

wow some sexist assumptions on this thread. i am the driver and quite happy to drive on motorways. and answer the front door!

chillinwithmyyonis Fri 23-Aug-13 20:33:03

Our town centre is full of families, with it being the summer holidays and all.

Are you feeling a big empty nest OP? Did a few squawking kids spoil your trip to M&S for old lady pants?

I'm sure most town centres are similar to ours, in that amongst the shops, there is also a museum, a library, a big park with two playgrounds and a duck pond, a leisure centre with a swimming pool, ice rink and soft play, numerous restaurants and cafes.

nightowlmostly Fri 23-Aug-13 20:35:09

I enjoy going to the local shopping centre, and so does my DH. We make a day of it, go round the shops, have lunch, a coffee later on. Split up for a bit when I try on clothes and he goes to game and HMV. We have a DS, he's only 16 months so so far he's happy enough tagging along with us. If he starts to hate it later on then we'll have to stop going so often I suppose, but it works for us for now.

There seems to be a lot of snobbery on this thread. We are capable of doing other things as well, but I don't see what's wrong with spending the day browsing in the shops, having lunch together etc. When its crap weather outside and there's no museums for miles, it seems like a fair enough option to me. As for food shopping, my SAH DH takes the baby, as I'm at work so I don't see the point of using up our together time so I can babysit, when he's got all week to do it!

Thepowerof3 Fri 23-Aug-13 20:37:26

What fucking knowledge do you need to walk in the countryside, Arevwe talking Ray Mears style info?!

Laquitar Fri 23-Aug-13 20:37:29

Some of you must confuse the shopping centres with Amsterdam's Red District. Its ok, its a walk and... shops, no need to pity 'poor babies' who spend 2 hours in shopping mall.

Or do you do museums 7 days a week?

alemci Fri 23-Aug-13 21:00:59

well said power of 3

mind you with the price of food we'll all be out foraging in the hedgerow soon smile smile

no need to pity poor babies who spend two hours in a shopping mall

What about those who do it for 6/7 hours at a time daily? grin

Least admit that's a bit odd? grin

And yes I have and still do see that

ubik Fri 23-Aug-13 21:26:42

Just look sorrowfully at the poor babies and ask yourself why they are not at a National Trust property....grin

grin

NoComet Sat 24-Aug-13 00:16:45

DD1 would happily do all day in her push chair round a big city. She loved the activity noise and colour, she got unspeakably board and whingy lying on a playmat at home.

DD2's shopping tolerance was much lower, she liked to BF ages and she wanted out of the push chair for milk and cuddles.

WaitressRose Sat 24-Aug-13 08:51:34

The countryside can get awfully boring, you know. And you can't spend all day every day in the swimming pool (unless on hols).

TheWickedBitchOfTheBest Sat 24-Aug-13 08:54:44

So have I been wrong all these years, and actually trawling around Ikea, PC World and Debenhams for 5 hours followed by 2 hours in Tescos 'every week' is actually very culturally rewarding and an enriching experience for the whole family grin

LoopyLupo Sat 24-Aug-13 09:21:40

I don't understand this. I've come to the conclusion that some people can't function without their OH joined to their hip.

As for children learning while shopping - Pah! They learn nothing they wouldn't learn quickly enough as they grow up. I loathed being dragged around the supermarket as a child and wouldn't put my dc through that hell.

The other place I don't understand is themeparks when there is a baby involved. Surely it would make more sense for one adult to stay at home with the baby while the other adult takes the older dc. We are annual pass holders at Legoland and we used to do this all the time. A theme park isn't a fun day out where you spend quality family time together is it? Its hell, esp in the holidays. I saw a little baby, about 6 months old, boiling hot, screaming being jigged up and down in a queue for the hot air balloon rides. She was clearly fed up and the mum look harrassed. I just thought why you didn't you say at home with the baby and have a nice relaxed day?

The best example was on the hill train though. This is literally a train that takes people down the hill. Its not a ride. The mum sat in the yellow carriage with her pushchair, the dad was asked was to sit in another carriage with the older dc as the yellow is pushchair only. The Dad started arguing that 'we all want to be together'. So they took up the space of 2 pushchairs because they couldn't be apart for less than 2 mins. How utterly pathetic.

(Obv. all this only applies to families that have 2 parents avaliable.)

ChocsAwayInMyGob Sat 24-Aug-13 10:28:27

I don't understand this. I've come to the conclusion that some people can't function without their OH joined to their hip

Then again, at weekends, some people want to be with their partners as they have been in work all week. I actually like my DH.

LoopyLupo Sat 24-Aug-13 10:33:55

So do I Chocs. In fact I would go so far as to say that I actually love him- my dh not yours grin

But I am able to function without him. I am a person in my own right.

The weekends are important to us, I can think of better things to do than dragging round town with him and the dc. If I need to do errands, I get them done quickly, without them, so we can spend quality family time together.

ChocsAwayInMyGob Sat 24-Aug-13 10:56:56

Loopy- that is crazy about the hill train in Legoland though. It takes about two minutes.

I do like going around town with the family occasionally though, there's a lot there and it's not just about shopping.

6 or 7 hours would be seriously pushing it though, it's more like 3 hours including lunch. Funnily enough DH really likes it as he doesn't get to the shops much and likes to see what's about.

alemci Sat 24-Aug-13 11:35:30

went with my DH yesterday to a department store. I said i would just go downstairs to look at the ladies clothes, i said i would meet him upstairs.

him - "I will come with you"

me in my head "Why".

hence I usually shop alone.

ubik Sat 24-Aug-13 11:56:59

The countryside is overrated IMHO. Seen one field, seen em all...

LoopyLupo Sat 24-Aug-13 12:16:27

My SIL enjoys shopping. So she thinks its a fun activity to do at the weekends with the family. My brother loathes it. The dc spend most of the time screaming and arguing out of boredom.

But I honestly don't think they know what to do with their leisure time other than shop. So every week they go through this hell.

I have tried suggesting online shopping to SIL but I don't think it gives her the same thrill as actually being in a shop and she looks at me like I'm the crazy one.

I do feel for my brother. Sometimes they come round afterwards and he looks ready to shoot himself. Ultimately though, he needs to grow some and put his foot down so my sympathy is limited.

Hulababy Sun 25-Aug-13 08:39:54

Adernyas - yes, Sheffield is right smile

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now