AIBU thinking about complaining about a Barclays staff members comments?

(135 Posts)
manfalou Thu 22-Aug-13 14:26:36

Im usually really pleased with the service I get from Barclays and my children have always been welcomed there but today I found myself wanting the punch the woman on the other side of the counter.

I only went in to deposit a cheque and withdraw cash and don't usually do chit chat but she stood up to look at my baby over the counter... this is where the fun starts...

First she said: 'Is that your little girl?' ... to which I replied 'No its my boy' smiling... her reply back 'I can only see blue and cream which can be either' and sat back down.. When i worked in retail when I was just out of school I would always say (if I wanted chit chat about babies) I always said something along the lines of 'Your baby's gorgeous' or 'How old's your baby?' so I didn't get the gender wrong. He's 4 months old too btw, its not as though he's newborn.

She then want on to say 'your first?', my reply 'no he's my second, my eldest will be 3 in October'... her reply 'you don't look old enough to have two kids'... I was livid! I just smiled and said 'Well i'm 24 this Saturday' which she repeated.. 'Yeh, you don't look old enough to have two children'. She didn't say it in a 'oh you look young for your age' kind of way, she said it in a 'you shouldn't have two kids at your age, you probably don't know who their fathers are' kind of way. And the way she looked at me... like I was dirt. She went on to tell me that she has ONE son who is 7 years old, he's current at his grandmothers because his dad is a teacher and has had to go into school during the holidays... again said in a snotty way. What I should've said was 'oh well my CHILDREN..yes both of my children have the same father... is an IT consultant for a global company'.

By all means, I think myself I do look younger than 24 but I do not expect professional staff to make such comments, especially when they're said in such a snobbish, rude manner.

Salmotrutta Thu 22-Aug-13 14:29:36

You are massively over-reacting and reading way too much into this.

I don't really see anything wrong in what she said! hmm

She didn't say anything of the sort confused

You're interpreting a look.

It sounds defensive and you have no reason to be.

mynameisslimshady Thu 22-Aug-13 14:30:14

Sounds like normal chit chat to me.

Sparklingbrook Thu 22-Aug-13 14:32:19

If you complain you will look like somebody with huge ishoos. She was passing the time of day, and making small talk.

MissOtisRegretsMadam Thu 22-Aug-13 14:35:11

I love it when people tell me I don't look old enough to have a 9 year old... Even said in a snooty way id lap it up. In fact my dream is that when dd gets to around 18 people will mistake us for sisters... Yes and we will go clubbing together and I will wear leather trousers and get chatted up by the same bloke! grin

Anyway... Yabu and totally over reacting... What would be the basis of the complaint?

manfalou Thu 22-Aug-13 14:35:32

Yes the original questions were the usual 'chit chat' but the responses were said in a rude manner, thats my issue.

WorraLiberty Thu 22-Aug-13 14:35:55

Is this a wind up?! grin

Sparklingbrook Thu 22-Aug-13 14:37:37

Oh, the rude manner. Well difficult to say without witnessing it. Still sounds like you are overthinking it TBH. If it really bothers you, vote with your feet and transfer your account?

IAmNotAMindReader Thu 22-Aug-13 14:38:38

She was making small talk with the added distraction of concentrating on inputting the correct data. So that would have made her tone sound off. Would you rather she gushed over you and fucked up your transaction?

YABU and over-reacting. With the defensive stance you have taken you may well have jumped to conclusions.

Sirzy Thu 22-Aug-13 14:39:05

Sounds like your looking for a problem IMO. She was making conversation.

WTAF. You have her tried and found guilty already!

You are way over thinking this.

mynameisslimshady Thu 22-Aug-13 14:40:51

What are you going to say in your complaint? The conversation was polite enough but there was just something about her tone you didn't like? confused

usualsuspect Thu 22-Aug-13 14:41:04

Oh give over.

DuelingFanjo Thu 22-Aug-13 14:41:24

wow - talk about a massive over-reaction. I am sure this thread will run and run though.

Sparklingbrook Thu 22-Aug-13 14:41:36

what sort of compensation would be appropriate in this case do you think?

Actually, I have changed my mind. You should make a formal complaint today, and escalate it to the Ombudsman if required. Please let us help you to draft it though.

AnneUulmelmahay Thu 22-Aug-13 14:42:11

Perhaps - but no, nae bother.

I am sorry the hoity toity laydee got on your pip, agree you should change banks forwith without delay.

AnneUulmelmahay Thu 22-Aug-13 14:43:44

And yep we will totes help with drafting and honing letters.

Wowserz129 Thu 22-Aug-13 14:45:50

Sounds like you are letting your own insecurities override what was said here as it all sounds normal to me! I doubt very much the lady in the bank would be handing out insults to customers she doesn't know about children and fathers etc... blush

manfalou Thu 22-Aug-13 14:46:00

And i'm the one who's over reacting... Wow.

You sound like your overreacting to be honest. Those are all things I've said to others or had said to me with no intention other than a compliment or making small talk.

LRDPomogiMnyeSRabotoi Thu 22-Aug-13 14:47:38

You sound as if you think there's something insulting about a baby girl being mistaken for a boy. confused

To be fair, though, I don't think you are being completely unreasonable to think it was rude of her to keep pushing the point about your age - it's nasty and judgy.

Not something I think I would complain about, but I get why you're fed up.

Kaekae Thu 22-Aug-13 14:47:42

You sound highly strung, sorry but you seem to be putting words in to the poor woman's mouth! Get a grip!

KellyElly Thu 22-Aug-13 14:47:46

'Yeh, you don't look old enough to have two children'. She didn't say it in a 'oh you look young for your age' kind of way, she said it in a 'you shouldn't have two kids at your age, you probably don't know who their fathers are' kind of way. You sound a bit paranoid tbh OP.

usualsuspect Thu 22-Aug-13 14:48:09

Go to the papers,get a nice picture of you and your children with sad faces outside Barclays.

Bloody Barclays, who do they think they are huh.

WeAreEternal Thu 22-Aug-13 14:51:01

So you want to complain about what you imagine she was thinking about you?


Here have a biscuit

SoupDragon Thu 22-Aug-13 14:52:03

Massive overreaction on th part of the OP.

You sound paranoid and overly defensive.

Sparklingbrook Thu 22-Aug-13 14:54:31

If you can complain about what you imagine people are thinking about you I have a lot of letters to write. grin

I am sure the Scan and Shop assistant in Tesco thought I was a dozy mare this morning but she hid it by smiling and being really helpful. I think it was all a front and deep down she was judging my Cinnamon pretzel.

SnookyPooky Thu 22-Aug-13 14:56:06

Here, take's a grip. Get hold.

Onesleeptillwembley Thu 22-Aug-13 14:57:19

You actually sound too immature to have children. Get a grip.

BalloonSlayer Thu 22-Aug-13 14:57:27

She sounds as if she was been worried that you thought she meant you were too young to have two children (which you did).

This is why she repeated the thing about how you LOOK too young to have 2 children.

Believe me OP, if someone says "you look too young to have 2 children" and get the reply "I am 24 this Saturday" . . . if they then repeat "Yeh, you don't look old enough to have two children' what they are saying to you CLEARLY is: "I am not saying you are too young to have children I said you LOOK too young to have two children. I am saying you LOOK YOUNG. PLEASE do not take offence."

I am quite perplexed as to why you took her attempts to clarify that she was NOT trying to insult you as further insult.

And as for trying to talk about her own child. How very dare she!

Sparklingbrook Thu 22-Aug-13 14:58:28

At least she didn't try and sell you anything.

insancerre Thu 22-Aug-13 14:58:36

I suggest you make yourself a badge. A bit like a Blue Badge for Disabled parking but instead it could say
'yes I am old enough to have 2 children, both have the same father and he is an IT consultant with a global company'
it might have to be a big badge, mind
but then at least, you would feel happier people aren't judging you for what you're not

Montybojangles Thu 22-Aug-13 14:59:30

Shakespeare- "suspicion always haunts the guilty mind"

Are you sure it's not YOU that has an issue of your age and the fact you have 2 children, and are therefore projecting that onto this woman?

And please be assured I'm not fussed whether you're 24 or 54, makes no difference to me (or the vast majority of people I'm guessing).

Dolallytats Thu 22-Aug-13 14:59:47

I love it when people think I don't look old enough to have a 20 year old!! I also get a 'do they have the same father?' question because my other children are 5 and 4 weeks. I just say yes, we don't like to hurry these things!! (In reality, I would have loved children closer together, but it didn't happen lie that for us. But, people don't need to be bored by those details and lifes too short to be peeved about something that would probably go through my mind too!!)

I think you are overreacting and it's a shame you've let a 2 min 'passing the time of day' bit of chit chat cloud your day.

Fakebook Thu 22-Aug-13 15:00:50

Would you have preferred:

"Yeh, you look like shit after two kids. Look at those saggy boobs and droopy eyelids. I thought you were older".


FrenchRuby Thu 22-Aug-13 15:03:59

A woman told me I looked too young to be married and have kids the other day (I'm 25) I took it as a compliment. You are massively over reacting!

Scholes34 Thu 22-Aug-13 15:05:08

Possibly she hit a nerve? A slight over-reaction, I think.

No-one ever tells me I don't look old enough to have a 16 year old and I can't remember the last time I was asked if I had ID when I bought alcohol. Actually, I can. It was 1993.

SunshineBossaNova Thu 22-Aug-13 15:10:01

I also think you're overreacting.

Feminine Thu 22-Aug-13 15:10:24

I went in to a kebab shop a while back.

totally unrelated to anything the owner asked me if my children had the same Dad? he hadn't even asked about salad grin

the other day my Dad wanted to buy me some special brew alcohol for him. I was asked for ID. I'm 41.

op I think you need to make the most of the last days of summer, and enjoy a nice cool drink ...with lots of ice!

Today, you have been a bit unreasonable smile

pianodoodle Thu 22-Aug-13 15:12:19

This doesn't sound worth complaining about really.

People always asked if DD was a boy as she was (and still is) very baldy and I often had her in blue sleepsuits. She always looked like a pretty girl to me but to someone else she was just another baldy baby!

My best friend is 24 but looks about 17 - she gets the same comments but when she's 30 she'll be glad to get them!

lottieandmia Thu 22-Aug-13 15:16:13

Sorry but I do think you are reading way too much into this. I look young for my age and people often say I don't look old enough to have an 11 year old (I had her when I was only 21).

Pink01 Thu 22-Aug-13 15:16:18

You could complain, but it is quite open to interpretation isn't it. She could well have been complimenting you for looking so young - are you normally defensive about your age and being a mum of two?! Cos you sound it a little bit......


5Foot5 Thu 22-Aug-13 15:24:57

By all means, I think myself I do look younger than 24

And you sound much younger.
Stop looking for insults where there are none. YABU and sound a bit silly

MrsWolowitz Thu 22-Aug-13 15:26:49

The other day I was out with my Dad and DC (his Grandchildren) and someone thought we were married and the DC were ours!

We laughed and corrected her. She laughed. She wasn't being rude, she just assumed that Dad was younger than he is (either that, or I look massively older but I'm ignoring that option)!

If she was being snotty then that is rude but the words she said weren't. You do sound a bit over sensitive.

Hopasholic Thu 22-Aug-13 15:35:19

Really? You're not being unreasonable you are being absolutely ridiculous.

Cant you see that was just chit chat?

Get that chip off your shoulder and make dinner with it hmm

Samu2 Thu 22-Aug-13 15:43:45

Well, only the OP witnessed her attitude. I get people telling me I look too young to have five children all the time and I take it as a compliment.

It seems like you are overreacting, OP. But at the same time I give you the benefit of the doubt because only you were there and knew if she was being passive aggressive and mean.

The words alone are no big deal, but if she looked at you like dirt then perhaps she was being an arse. No one else was there so we don't know if the OP is reacting over her attitude or not.

Samu2 Thu 22-Aug-13 15:43:58

Devils Advocate/

ILetHimKeep20Quid Thu 22-Aug-13 15:49:11

Have you had negative comments about your age to child ratio before? It does sound like you have a chip on your shoulder.

Mckayz Thu 22-Aug-13 15:52:31

Here have a grip.

I don't think she meant anything by it at all.

zatyaballerina Thu 22-Aug-13 15:54:50

People will mix up your baby's sex unless you have them blatantly colour coded, they all look the same at that age.

She told you that you LOOKED too young, not that you were, she was trying to give you a complement.

She probably appeared rude because she was trying to talk to you and work at the same time so was distracted and her tone was wrong.

JaffaMyCake Thu 22-Aug-13 15:56:45

Are you being serious?

Have my very first biscuit and a grip.

Chill out OP the poor woman was only making small talk. I'd be overjoyed if someone said I didn't look old enough to have kids.

My daughter has a blue pram and I put blue on her occasionally so it's not always obvious .

Feelslikea1sttimer Thu 22-Aug-13 16:00:48

I almost kissed the lady who sounded shocked that I was having my 3rd as I looked nowhere near old enough (I'm 34)... It was the look of horror when I said I had teenagers that made me want to climb over the counter and squeeze her! She really did make my day!!!

I wouldn't worry, she sounds like she was trying to be kind and you seem to have misunderstood her intentions!

FFS really, get a grip.

This week I have been told I must be carrying twins as am too big for it to be just one!

That I must have had DD as a teenager because I don't look old enough to have a teenager myself! (Big old compliment IMO!!)

And today 'Bloody Hell you are huge!'

LadyMilfordHaven Thu 22-Aug-13 16:01:32

you are over reacting
life get a

ShakeAndVac Thu 22-Aug-13 16:01:33

You're livid because she told you that yuou don't look old enough to have two kids?! confused
See, I'd have took that as a compliment! never gets mistaken as someone too young, waaaaah-
As for speculating on whether or not they both have the same father, from what you've said she did nothing of the sort - that was all interpretation of a 'look' on your part!
Seriously far too much overthinking and paranoia on your part by the sounds of it, sorry. Sounds like the poor woman was only trying to be friendly and make small talk!

ShakeAndVac Thu 22-Aug-13 16:02:17

Apologies for typos and over eager use of !!!!!!! grin fat finger typing

ILetHimKeep20Quid Thu 22-Aug-13 16:04:28

I can kind of understand though, op. I had my first at 21, was married and owned a house. I cringe now when I think about how quickly I tried to make sure people knew I wasn't a scruffy single mother in a council house.

Turns out no one gave a fuck.

Groovee Thu 22-Aug-13 16:04:37

I had a number of people think dd was a boy because she had a green dummy in despite being dressed in pink. It did my head in!

LadyMilfordHaven Thu 22-Aug-13 16:05:08

think the op sounds uber snob tbh

and thats rich yes

Onesleeptillwembley Thu 22-Aug-13 16:06:16

I'm still pissing myself at IT consultant for global company.

LadyMilfordHaven Thu 22-Aug-13 16:07:10


i know.
not just a british company..


LazyMonkeyButler Thu 22-Aug-13 16:13:53

So this all stems from the cashier saying that you didn't look old enough to have two children?

That's a compliment isn't it? I used to get that a lot, I had DS1 at 22 and DS2 at 25 and always looked younger than my actual age. I always thought the person was being nice!

I'd love someone to tell me now, at 38, that I don't look old enough to have three children grin.

Probably best to stick to your usual "no chit chat with minions" rule in future OP wink.

Famzilla Thu 22-Aug-13 16:15:10

I'm 24 tomorrow and wish someone would tell me I looked too young to have kids. Unfortunately the grey hairs, exhausted eye bags and premature wrinkles give it away.

However my DP doesn't have some fancy job that I feel the need to brag about like it somehow validates our choice to have children "young". We just have ineffective contraception. wink

PoppyAmex Thu 22-Aug-13 16:15:11

You found yourself "wanting to punch this woman" for her innocuous remarks?

Good god, I'm never making conversation with a stranger again.

Also are young girls only allowed to procreate if their partners are high flyers?

GrumpyRedhead Thu 22-Aug-13 16:22:15

A trainee at work spotted my engagement ring while I was helping her with something. We went from that, to my three DCs, and she was amazed that I had three, she thought I looked much too young. I was all chuffed! I didn't decide she was in some way insulting me confused

LadyMilfordHaven Thu 22-Aug-13 16:22:51

someone on holiday said I dindt look only enough to have teenage kids
it was a young MAYAN

i was fricking thrilled

Tee2072 Thu 22-Aug-13 16:23:13

Does the chip on your shoulder hurt or are you used to it by now?

Seriously, chill out.

candycoatedwaterdrops Thu 22-Aug-13 16:26:20

You wanted to punch her? You have anger ishoos. Also, in case you hadn't realised by now, YABU.

hettienne Thu 22-Aug-13 16:37:26

So she cooed over your baby and told you how good you look for your age? What a bitch.

Norfolknway Thu 22-Aug-13 16:41:03

You sound very highly strung my dear.

Maybe she was just chatting to you. YABU

sooperdooper Thu 22-Aug-13 16:48:16

Wow, get a grip, would you rather she said you looked old and haggared?

Who cares if she thought your baby was a girl not a boy, it's hardly a crime, it was nice of her to try and talk to you at all, I'm sure she'd wish she never bothered if she had any idea of your reaction - what it has to do with your children being welcomed there is beyond me

It was nothing, chill out & move on smile

Azultrailer Thu 22-Aug-13 16:53:55

Fancy being spoken to like that when you're 23 and a half!grin

Cravey Thu 22-Aug-13 16:59:19

I think op that you may need to get a life.

Onesleeptillwembley Thu 22-Aug-13 17:08:44

The OPs insecurities remind me if someone (now much older than 23 1/2) who grew up with nothing. Got a normal respectable life and from then on was convinced she was better than everyone else. Expected deference at every turn and vjucked s complete hissy fit when it (obviously) wasn't forthcoming.
Checkout operators? Far beneath her. Unmarried mothers? Drain on society. That sort of attitude.
Basically was fur coat and no knickers. Nobody in the lovely friendly street spoke to her if they could help it. And she's getting older and more bitter by the day.

x2boys Thu 22-Aug-13 17:13:22

I would be thrilled to be told I didn't look old enough to have two children I am 40 however in two months so look pleanty old enough I could even be a grandma! sob

Caff2 Thu 22-Aug-13 17:13:53

I always get "Is he your first?" when out alone with ds2, aged one, and when I reply that my oldest is 13 sometimes get, "You look too young" (compliment) or "Do they have the same father?" (Reasonable assumption due to age gap, and even if they didn't, not an insult in my view).


Caff2 Thu 22-Aug-13 17:14:48

Although the second is a lot a bit nosy ;)

BuskersCat Thu 22-Aug-13 17:17:34

Someone told me I didn't look old enough to have a 3yo. Cue me beaming at them THANK YOU! I feel bloody haggered! grin

<hands OP a grip>

grin If I had a pound for everytime someone said I don't look old enough to have children I'd be rich. Rich beyond my wildest dreams!

stealth boast


LRDPomogiMnyeSRabotoi Thu 22-Aug-13 17:23:51

You look well ancient, ABF. Raddled, even.

<helpful face>

LRDPomogiMnyeSRabotoi Thu 22-Aug-13 17:24:12

(Actually, you look exactly like your DD, I meant to comment on that the other day.)

Charlottehere Thu 22-Aug-13 17:25:39

She was making conversation. confused

MrsDeVere Thu 22-Aug-13 17:25:49

The conversation sound very mundane to me and followed the usual pattern.

It may have been over familiar but that is the way things are now days.
30 years ago you would have had to make an appointment to get your money out of the bank, 50 years ago you would have had to have your husband's permission.

But its not like that anymore. Things are more informal and with the good comes the bad.

The reaction I get when I say I have five kids ranging from 21 to 3 is almost always 'wow you don't look old enough'

(not a stealth boast, honest). I am plenty old enough. I am 46.

I understand that very young parents come in for a lot of stick but you are 24 OP not 13.

I really think you are overreacting.

Think about what your complaint would look like. 'Your employee asked me about my children. She didn't say it but I am certain what she really meant is 'you are benefit claiming scum and your kids should be removed and I bet they have different fathers who are skanky crack heads'

grin <smoothes out the crow's feet>

Haha I know it's a pain when she's got an arse on in public and I want to pretend she doesn't belong to me, it's impossible because it's so bloody obvious!

Rilson Thu 22-Aug-13 17:28:48

Jaysus. Poor woman was only making conversation.

You have some major paranoia going on confused

DrDance Thu 22-Aug-13 17:29:34

how old is your first OP?

Asking as the only reason I can think of for you to react as you have is that maybe you had your first quite young (by society's standards) and you've felt you've been stigmitised in the past of being a 'young/teenage' mum?

From what you have said it really doesn't ound anything to be upset about though confused

LRDPomogiMnyeSRabotoi Thu 22-Aug-13 17:31:03


Yeah, I can imagine.

mycatlikestwiglets Thu 22-Aug-13 17:33:02

Trust me OP, in a few years you'll be desperate for people to say you look too young to have 2 children grin. It's a compliment - if she'd said you are too young to have 2 children it would be meant as an insult.

currentbuns Thu 22-Aug-13 17:38:40

I'm just amused by the supposed cachet of a husband working for a Global company.... McDonald's perchance?

Onesleeptillwembley Thu 22-Aug-13 17:39:49

Fries with that?grin grin grin

MrsBungle Thu 22-Aug-13 17:41:55

Op, you really sound like you have a massive chip on your shoulder. Sounds like small talk to me, not at all rude.

My husband works for a global company. Is it special??

TheOneAndOnlyFell Thu 22-Aug-13 17:46:09

You sound a bit paranoid and as though you have a massive chip on your shoulder about having had your children quite young, although you are hardly teenager so I don't really understand it.

Most of what the woman apperently felt about you didn't even come out of her mouth - it was all in your head.

gininteacupsandleavesonthelawn Thu 22-Aug-13 17:47:22

Wondering if I should point out that the woman you spoke to also works for 'a global company' what with Barclays being erm... Global. No?? You sound like you have a chip on your shoulder.

TheOneAndOnlyFell Thu 22-Aug-13 17:49:45

current that reminded me of an eighteen year old on Netmums once, saying that she and her BF really wanted to try for a baby and even though she was very young they were very well sorted, and could afford it because her BF who was 20 had 'a good job in Logistics for an International company.'

I thought hmm..logistics? He loads and unloads trucks then? At 20 that's going to pay shedloads obviously. grin

LadyBeagleEyes Thu 22-Aug-13 17:53:49

Daftest AIBU I've ever read.

Smoorikins Thu 22-Aug-13 17:55:55

I'm with you on this, op.

I have lost count of the number of times people express surprise that my children are the age they are

Its an absolute curse to look younger than you are. Can you imagine getting to 70 and having to prove that you are old enough for a bus pass? Its unthinkable!

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 22-Aug-13 18:01:17


I know you were there and we weren't, and tone and expression has a big part to play, so I wouldn't want to dismiss what you say out of hand, but I am confused as to the "point" you think she was making here:

"She went on to tell me that she has ONE son who is 7 years old, he's current at his grandmothers because his dad is a teacher and has had to go into school during the holidays... again said in a snotty way"

It's possible that she was judging your age, but really, IF she was she's an arse and not worth your consideration.

And it's possible, from what you say, that she wasn't

strokey Thu 22-Aug-13 18:07:34

She mustve confused you with someone whose husband DOESNT work for a global IT company.
Which could be an easy mistake to make considering how young you look. Lets face it, most people who aren't old enough to have 2 children couldn't possibly bag a man who works for a global IT company.

That's the only possible explanation for her behaviour.

I would've quietly told her "actually my husband works for a global IT company" Im sure she would've been really embarrassed and apologised.

Xmasbaby11 Thu 22-Aug-13 18:12:51

I don't understand the big deal. You clearly have a chip on your shoulder about being a young mum.

StElmo Thu 22-Aug-13 19:11:48

She may well have had a snooty manner but maybe that's just her way, her comments don't seem rude to me at all. I'm 24 and often get told I look to young to have two children, I just say 'I am!' And put my 'exasperated mummy' face on. Giggling generally ensues. Try not to take everything so seriously.

StElmo Thu 22-Aug-13 19:13:22

Too* stupid phone

Capitola Thu 22-Aug-13 19:49:34

She was just making conversation ffs.

You sound chippy, OP.

BellEndTent Thu 22-Aug-13 19:55:58

Do you think you might be a bit sensitive because you know / have been told before that you look young for your age?

I was late twenties and still being described as "the young girl" at work and had one downright vicious comment from a grumpy man at the local community centre about the size of my family (two toddlers - I think he assumed I was the DM young--mum-on-benefits grin) and it quite annoyed me at the time. Like you, I was married, a professional and probably a lot older than they thought but I shrugged it off. That kind of attitude reflects far worse on them than it does on you. Smile and back away.

kali110 Thu 22-Aug-13 20:05:01

Is this a reverse aibu?Im 27 and forever being told i don't look my age. Pubs don't even think I'm over 18.
I think your overreacting. I wouldn't make a complaint, they wont take it seriously. These places do have to make chit chat! She didn't know the sex of your child? How dare she!
If things like this ate getting to you id talk to someone as being this paranoid cant be good for you.

kali110 Thu 22-Aug-13 20:05:51

Bellend i wish i was still being called the young one :-(

Somethingtothinkabout Thu 22-Aug-13 20:17:34

Your young years show with your inability to stealthily boast.

Have a biscuit and some ketchup truffle oil? (I'm wracking my brain to think what the wives of global IT consultants have as a condiment with their pomme frites).

Just chill, she was just making inane chit chat.

BellEndTent Thu 22-Aug-13 20:19:08

I'm [gasp] 31 now and am increasingly grateful when it happens these days. I feel several years of no sleep are starting to take their toll on my babyface. grin

ILetHimKeep20Quid Thu 22-Aug-13 20:21:14

I think the op has the message now. And a character assassination to boot.

usualsuspect Thu 22-Aug-13 20:30:06

Funny how she never came back...

mynameisnotmichaelcaine Thu 22-Aug-13 20:31:01

sigh. I had DD at 24, and used to get riled about things like this. The chance would be a fine thing these days. NO-ONE tells me I look too young for anything any more!

MidniteScribbler Fri 23-Aug-13 09:28:01

Just because you're old enough to have children, doesn't necessarily mean that you are mature enough.

SarahBumBarer Fri 23-Aug-13 12:51:29

Some people just don't seem come across as friendly.

Y'know the way some posters just don't seem to come across as rational?

JamieandtheMagicTorch Fri 23-Aug-13 12:54:04



Let's hope all the "get a grips", "get a lifes" "you're paranoid" etc etc haven't distressed someone who is genuinely struggling a bit.

TheCraicDealer Fri 23-Aug-13 13:05:17

Am I the only one who saw, "I can only see blue and cream which can be either" and thought Barclays lady is clearly an mn'er?

Anyway, OP I would suspect that you have had negative comments made about your choices previously and now pick up on remarks that are supposed to be completely innocuous.

If you're happy with your life (which you probably are with two beautiful children and a successful DH, all of which you're clearly proud of) then let it go. Life's too short to worry about what the lady at the bank might think of you. Which, incidentally, was just that you look young to have two children.

Crowler Fri 23-Aug-13 13:11:22

She mustve confused you with someone whose husband DOESNT work for a global IT company.
Which could be an easy mistake to make considering how young you look. Lets face it, most people who aren't old enough to have 2 children couldn't possibly bag a man who works for a global IT company.

That's the only possible explanation for her behaviour.

I would've quietly told her "actually my husband works for a global IT company" Im sure she would've been really embarrassed and apologised.

I just burst out laughing at this one.

magimedi Fri 23-Aug-13 13:11:26

I told a very nice woman in a shop that she didn't look old enough to have a 5 & 7 year old & she said that I'd made her day!

trixymalixy Fri 23-Aug-13 13:13:49

She was trying to give you a compliment! It is your insecurity that has made you read something into it that's not there.

I'd love to look younger than my age.

My husband's just a gobshite.

Is that why I love it so much on the rare occasion that people tell me I'm too young to be a mother? smile

pinkyredrose Fri 23-Aug-13 13:29:22

IT consultant for global company = 1st port telephone helpline for Virgin Media!

Ghanagirl Fri 23-Aug-13 13:32:48

When my twins were babies, an old man congratulated me on how cute they were said are they two boys my DD was in pink and DS blue, he then went on to tell I shouldn't have anymore yet wait till I was older and go back to college, I was 37 at the time, tbh I felt mildly outraged for about 2 seconds then couldn't wait to tell everyone how young I obviously looksmile
Take it a s a compliment at 24 you should look young, you are young (but of course not too young to have as many kids as you choose)

alistron1 Fri 23-Aug-13 14:00:20

I was told by a young man yesterday that I didn't look old enough to have a 16 year old daughter. This is the benefit of sprogging when young. I had 3 kids by the time I was 25. And my DP is a teacher. Does all this make me a goodie or a baddie on this thread?!

hamdangle Fri 23-Aug-13 14:10:36

Is this a Joke? apart from maybe being over sensitive about your age I cant even see what's wrong with the other comments.
So she couldn't tell DS was a boy and didn't tell you he was gorgeous. Please complain. It will give the staff at Barclays a good laugh.

I'm 34 but I look younger and my DS is 17. No one ever believes he's my son. It's flattering and i would never even think to get offended. Although often people are so surprised they ask rude questions like how old am I or how old was I when I had him. I tell them that I was 12 when he was born and was the youngest mother in the North West at the time and in the paper and everything. Their shock faces do not get old.

Someone did think DS was my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago though. *voms. I told my sister and she said "yeah, and you don't even look that young anymore so they were probably just thinking you were a dirty cradle snatching cow."

strokey Fri 23-Aug-13 14:23:24

Crowler I was only kidding!

Just after I had my first aged 23 I was in Morrisons when a nice old lady said I looked too young to have a baby (in a kind way), I was thrilled. Then my 50 year old father joined me and she asked "is this dad then?" confused

Crowler Fri 23-Aug-13 16:56:03

I know you were kidding! That's why I laughed. smile

emsyj Fri 23-Aug-13 17:06:23

When I was waddling around the office pregnant with DD2 last year, someone asked if it was my first baby and I said, 'No, second' then she said 'You don't look old enough'. I'm 34. I was delighted.

A few weeks ago I was chatting to a fellow customer in TK Maxx and she was asking me what I thought of various baby blankets etc, she mentioned having an 18 year old and I said she didn't look old enough to have an 18 year old - she beamed and said 'thank you'.

I'm really struggling to find a way to see offence in 'you don't look old enough'... confused Clearly it's quite a common thing for people to say, so why read into it?

Poor Barclays woman was probably just trying to make the day go quicker by striking up conversation. I used to do the same when I had a dull, repetitive customer-facing job. I hope I didn't offend anyone... I do seem to recall once telling a customer that the dress she was trying on was an old lady dress, and she shouldn't be wearing it cos she wasn't an old lady.... blush

digerd Fri 23-Aug-13 17:27:37

The intent of the Barclays cashier would have been clear in her tone of voice and body language, especially the facial expression, not the actual words.
hamdangle - if your sister did not say that in a cheeky, pulling your leg manner then she was nasty, but obviously jealoussmile.

soverylucky Fri 23-Aug-13 17:34:10

This has got to be a reverse of some sort????

Where are you op? If this is genuine then you are being so unreasonable I don't really know where to begin.

Go on, make a complaint - I can't wait to see the reply you get.

Look back at what you have written about what was actually said. Poor woman - trying to make conversation that's all.

SamHamwidge Fri 23-Aug-13 18:15:24

Haven't bothered to read the whole thread but am going to play devild's advocate on this one.

It is hard to put across on MN the tone that someone speaks in and she really could have said those things in a bit of an off manner, even if the OP seems to have taken it all a bit to heart. What gets me is the cashiers's inane comments, namely -

1 is this your first? Admittedly a pet hate of mine as only have one DC and not likely to have more, but I find the question presumptuous and hate being asked it. I know it's not always meant this way buy the implication is you will have more, and you never know someones back story.

2 Commenting on the colour of clothes and presuming child's gender based on that

3 'You don't look old enough' comment again inane and presumptuous as people have kids at all different ages

I do appreciate that as I near 40 I am getting more grumpy and intolerant though.

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