I don't believe a word of it lately.

(196 Posts)
Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 18:51:03

Yup, this again.

I KNOW It's because it's the holidays, mostly, but fuckeroo it's a pile of toss here lately.

Between the wank trolls and the drama llamas, the wannabe novelists and the nasty goading returned bannees, it's Not As Much Fun as usual.

I'm reprting threads (which then get deleted, ah the validation) left right and centre and it's getting a bit boring now.

If you're being a troll, just up your game, eh? You're not clever, you're not even funny, you;re not even really annoying. Just dull and repetitive and obvious.

Either do it better or bore the fuck off.

Ta very much.

HeySoulSister Tue 20-Aug-13 18:52:19

lots of drip feeding AIBU's too!! hate drip feeders,i always expect sockpuppets to turn up

SoupDragon Tue 20-Aug-13 18:52:30

[shrug] take a break then.

FancyPuffin Tue 20-Aug-13 18:54:08

Totally agree Reality it's shitola at the moment.

<Waits for scottishmummy>

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 18:54:13

What is this nreak of which you speak? I'm not sure such a thing is possible.

I'll be here less from next week anyway so was trying to make teh most of my last week of free and easy access to MN during the day. But alas, has mostly been boring trolly shit.

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 18:54:26

Nreak? Um, break.

AndThatsWhatIThinkOfYou Tue 20-Aug-13 18:55:08

you must have alot of time on your hands just ignore and they will get bored

HeySoulSister Tue 20-Aug-13 18:56:04

its not what it used to be that's for sure!

Sparklingbrook Tue 20-Aug-13 18:56:28

There were no drip feeding sock puppet trolls on my most excellent 80s nostalgia thread or my John Taylor thread at the weekend. You need to search out fun, or make your own. grin

But I do agree with the holiday malarkey. Tiresome.

OnTheNingNangNong Tue 20-Aug-13 18:56:35

It is kind of dull as fuck. Only two weeks til schools back in....

Doingakatereddy Tue 20-Aug-13 18:57:02

If you don't like it, do something different - play with the kids for example?

HeySoulSister Tue 20-Aug-13 18:57:46

2 weeks til schools back.....3 weeks til college is back....5 weeks til uni is back....

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 18:57:49

I had to hide your John Taylor thread because too many young things were on it going 'who?'.

NOt really. I did see it and it was v entertaining. The good stuff is still there but it's getting lost among the try-hard tossy trolling.


HeySoulSister Tue 20-Aug-13 18:58:28

lol at 'play with the kids'....

Sparklingbrook Tue 20-Aug-13 19:00:11

I have asked if he will do a webchat Reality, but there will have to be an age limit. grin

I do like a 'talking cobblers' thread but they are few and far between ATM. sad

ShellyBoobs Tue 20-Aug-13 19:01:26

I'm reading a thread now which is giving me headache due to the extensive hmm I'm experiencing.

No, I'm not going to say which one it is but I do agree with you, Reality, things aren't normal just now.

KellyHopter Tue 20-Aug-13 19:03:18

Are you talking about my crispy cakes?
They really were that bad.


littlemisswise Tue 20-Aug-13 19:05:01

There's so much shit Reality, I am surprised you can be bothered reporting, tbh!

HurricaneWyn Tue 20-Aug-13 19:06:35

I haven't seen ScottishMummy around in ages. Does she have an actual RL?

I always imagined she was some kind of MNHQ robot who was sent out whenever people complain about things like this, or on the where are they now threads.

ShellyBoobs Tue 20-Aug-13 19:11:12

Are you talking about my crispy cakes?

No! But I'm going to find your thread, now.


FrancescaBell Tue 20-Aug-13 19:11:52


It's a pile of wank these days.

Play with the kids?

Does everyone assume that we've all got young children who want playing with?

If I see mine before 2p.m before they roll out of their pits I'm lucky.

I just dip in and out of MN these days. There are better forums out there now, plus to be honest I was only ever an occasional poster but posted more when OPs were more believable, didn't drip feed and people posted what they would actually say in real-life when presented with the same dilemma.

I think the genuine OPs are getting put off by the rogue minority (or majority on some threads) who seem to think a perfectly reasonable OP needs a kicking, or that the thread is actually about their lives and circumstances and not the OP's. Plus the people who just don't bother reading the bloody thread and fixate on a misunderstanding that gets repeated and perpetuated, so that the OP gives up on account of people who can't read.

Gah hmm

Sparklingbrook Tue 20-Aug-13 19:14:02

I think to lure scottishmummy out you have to start a 'Who is your favourite Mumsnetter' thread, she loves those threads. grin

DS1 is 14, he doesn't want to play with me. sad I had the Buckaroo all set up too.

You know what to do if you don't like it, off you fuck cuntychops.

shock We haven't had a good "who is your favourite mumsnetter" in ages

Reality you should soooo start one of those!

FrancescaBell Tue 20-Aug-13 19:17:29

.....or flouncing threads Sparkling. That seems to induce some Scottish ire, as I recall wink

It's a long time since I saw the term 'discursive' written on here. That always seemed to be one of her favorites grin

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 19:18:10

Play with my kids? Oh god no. The horror. You obviously haven't met them.

I've been so bored today that I've not only done housework but I've done a whole college course.

Hmm. perhaps this is a GOOD thing?

Sparklingbrook Tue 20-Aug-13 19:18:14

Yes do it Reality people love those threads.

MrsKoala Tue 20-Aug-13 19:21:17

i can't say i've noticed any of the things you mention - have i just been reading the wrong threads?

And moaning about drip feeding is so irritating tbh - someone gives a broad stroke OP/certain amount of info, doesn't want to make the OP too boring long. Then responds to any relevant questions and people come along and say 'drip drip drip' like they are some internet police. If you were talking to someone in RL would you smugly say that if they answered a question shedding new light on a scenario? No you would accept it as the natural unfolding of a story.

I've been here nearly 5 years and the place is no different imo.


littlemisswise Tue 20-Aug-13 19:22:28

I've been that bored the last few days Reality, that at have dusted my ceilings, taken all my photos out of the frames and cleaned them, dusted behind the radiators and got DS1 to get all the lampshades down so I could Hoover them! hmm

I've returned today after a month or so of not posting. Either:

a) I'm filling everything up with shite and spoiling it for all the sensible children, or

b) things are about to improve again


Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 19:27:54

I've been here six years, I think? Maybe seven? Cripes, perhaps I've just had my fill sad

LittleMissWise that is TOO MUCH cleaning, Sit down before you do yourself a mischief.

I might start a 'who's the cuntiest Mumsnetter'

That always goes down well.

Dackyduddles Tue 20-Aug-13 19:28:55

Well I'm here 52wks a year. Can't see much different tbh.....?

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 19:29:44

grin Buffy.

There are a few notable 'new' names I am enjoying, I have to say <looks at KellyHOpter>. Namechanging discombobulates me and ruins my spreadsheet,

I think it should be a law that all namechangers pm to update me.

Perhaps someone should start a thread rather like the Oscars of mumsnet. Best male, best female, best feminist. Lifetime achievement, best newcomer, etc. That ought to be good for some entertainment. Who would present it though, and manage the costume changes?

magimedi Tue 20-Aug-13 19:34:31

Go for it, Buffy - I'll be the scene shifter. grin

FrancescaBell Tue 20-Aug-13 19:36:19

D'you notice that the same threads about the same people and exactly the same circumstances get rolled out every few months?

I saw a thread the other day from a poster about her wealthy friend and the chasm in their friendship and I swear I've seen the same thread from the same poster (different names used though) about 40 times now during my time on MNet. What's that all about?

Sleepathon Tue 20-Aug-13 19:37:23

Haven't a clue what you're talking about but you aren't half coming across as a bunch of snobs

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 19:38:40

Snobs? Er, what?

MrsDeVere Tue 20-Aug-13 19:39:19

If I see one more fucking Disabled Toilet fucking thread I will go fucking postal on yo asses.

Just sayin'

MrsDeVere Tue 20-Aug-13 19:39:40



JollyHappyGiant Tue 20-Aug-13 19:40:14

I recommend crochet. Easy to learn. Keeps me off here sometimes.

Whatabouttehsnobz, eh?

Sparklingbrook Tue 20-Aug-13 19:41:13

Snobs? confused

littlemisswise Tue 20-Aug-13 19:41:14

Snobs! That's a new one on me!

littlemisswise Tue 20-Aug-13 19:42:32

jollyhappy DH is going away for 4 months in 4 weeks time, my mission when he is away is to learn to crochet. I've got my hooks and wool ready and waiting to go.

BulletProofVestyBunny Tue 20-Aug-13 19:42:55

I do like a good random snobs accusation thrown in, keeps it interesting like.

Sleepathon Tue 20-Aug-13 19:44:11

What exactly are you complaining about??
People posting about things you don't agree with? People posting things that are not to your taste? I don't understand?
It's like a playground all of a sudden.... Oooh I've been here for 5 years! It's just not like it used to be!!

You're all grown women FFS

Last time I checked it was a free forum. If you don't like what is being said then ignore it????!

Sparklingbrook Tue 20-Aug-13 19:44:32

I am dead snobby me. I had a fish finger sandwich for tea with a glass of Dr Pepper. grin

BulletProofVestyBunny Tue 20-Aug-13 19:44:43

I want to learn to crochet so I can make some of those baby octopuses (octopi?) like in John Lewis.

Sparklingbrook Tue 20-Aug-13 19:45:59

Calm down Sleepathon it's only the internet-you seem to be very wound up. If you don't like was is being said on this thread why didn't you ignore it?

BulletProofVestyBunny Tue 20-Aug-13 19:46:00

Hello sleepathon, are you new ?

I pinned a wonderful crochet mouse that I'd love to make for dd's christmas stocking. I can't crochet though, and haven't found any inspiring online advice thus far.

StickEmUp Tue 20-Aug-13 19:47:17

grin chips and cheese here! I win!

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 19:48:15

I had cheesy chips and gravy again.

I must start eating properly next week.

littlemisswise Tue 20-Aug-13 19:48:26

Sparkling I had chips in a bowl. I dunked them in ketchup and ate them with my fingers. I had sparkling water though!

Proper snob, I am!

usualsuspect Tue 20-Aug-13 19:48:35

There are some oddballs about.

I'm torn between wtf? and pissing myself laughing at them.

Garlic potatoes, steak and salad about to go on the table. I'm a snob, aren't I?

<slinks off in the style of Margo Leadbetter>

StickEmUp Tue 20-Aug-13 19:49:13

I joined mn last july so this seems normal to me. Xmas went mental too, if i recall correctly.
I had a lovely conversation over pm about presents. So many ungrateful gitz.

BulletProofVestyBunny Tue 20-Aug-13 19:49:21

I have just fed the children hot dogs for the second time this week and it's only Tuesday

I win.

Sparklingbrook Tue 20-Aug-13 19:49:36

Aah but for pudding I had a Mr Kipling Mississipi Mud pie. <outsnobs everyone>

AnneUulmelmahay Tue 20-Aug-13 19:49:57

I am dead snobby

We never had tuna pasta bake for supper, oh no, we had fusilli con fish e sweetacornay thank you veh much.

StickEmUp Tue 20-Aug-13 19:49:57

reality gravy wins, mn snob of the year

usualsuspect Tue 20-Aug-13 19:50:07

Blimey sleepathon ,Chillax .

StickEmUp Tue 20-Aug-13 19:50:48

buffy i can see your nose in the air from here!
My mum is margot actually. Shes fucking proud of it too!

Sleepathon Tue 20-Aug-13 19:51:23

Ok I'll do you a deal.

Link me to some posts that you guys are referring to?

LittleEsme Tue 20-Aug-13 19:51:28

Ah I miss all these weird/shite/trolly posts. Either that or I'm thick as a plank. Could anyone kindly point me in the direction of said shite?

Sparklingbrook Tue 20-Aug-13 19:51:34

Hi usual are you still my friend after my JT webchat thread? I worry about these things.

littlemisswise Tue 20-Aug-13 19:52:56

Actually Sparkling I can out snob you on the pudding front! I had a lemon tart from Britain's Best Bakery! <pokes out tongue>

Sparklingbrook Tue 20-Aug-13 19:53:06

There was the most bonkers trolly thread today but it has been deleted surprisingly. The OP wasn't the troll, it picked one up on the way.

Sparklingbrook Tue 20-Aug-13 19:53:43

Ooh get you littlemiss. Posh! grin

usualsuspect Tue 20-Aug-13 19:53:57

Sparkling, I forget what I've posted on some threads. So yes I'm still your mate grin

MrsCampbellBlack Tue 20-Aug-13 19:54:23

Which threads got deleted if I'm allowed to ask? I've read several over the past couple of weeks that have been distinctly sad/dramatic/traumatic

Sparklingbrook Tue 20-Aug-13 19:54:42

Yay! Do you not remember the Robert Plant picture usual? grin

littlemisswise Tue 20-Aug-13 19:55:26

I get 30% discount Sparkling, DS2 works there. It's not doing my waist line any good!

Passmethecrisps Tue 20-Aug-13 19:55:30

Fish finger sandwiches are the bees knees!

It is a bit odd at the moment but I have I only been a member for about 18 months so I have I only served 2 summer holidays!

I have just read a thread which made me go sad then very quickly hmm which is awful if it is real.

usualsuspect Tue 20-Aug-13 19:57:05

MN eeds a big scandal, a troll outing or summat, to liven it up a bit.

Try the 'Funniest thing someone has said to you after sex' thread

HeySoulSister Tue 20-Aug-13 19:58:21

bad form to link to thread sleepathon....

TramadolDaze Tue 20-Aug-13 19:58:32

I'm with MrsKoala - Am I just not seeing these things for what they are? There was a very obvious one a couple of days ago which was so stunning I can't even remember what it was about - a small penis or some other such piffle.
I don't recommend playing with the kids. They look at you like you've taken leave of your senses and go back to what they were doing before you decided to get down with them. Here's the news - they DON'T want you mucking up their dynamics. Drink gin instead. Then MN won't get on your nerves. Nor will anything else grin

Why do threads always delete when I'm busy doing other stuff.

Please tell what got deleted < I'm sad, boo me >

HeySoulSister Tue 20-Aug-13 19:59:10

the returning banned posters are sooooo obvious though

TramadolDaze Tue 20-Aug-13 20:00:54

Well HeySoul - unless you're privy to inside info how do you know it's a returned banned poster and not just a name change or something? How do you actually know?

HeySoulSister Tue 20-Aug-13 20:05:17

cos they have a distinct style?? and know exactly what to troll about and what to say to press buttons... and the deletion message says it that's why!!

TramadolDaze Tue 20-Aug-13 20:06:27

Ok. You're obviously better and more practised at these things than me.

HeySoulSister Tue 20-Aug-13 20:08:21

more practised?? no,just seen it before a few times

everlong Tue 20-Aug-13 20:10:40

No mental than normal. Tbh unless I know the poster I read a thread then half believe it.

Sparklingbrook Tue 20-Aug-13 20:11:07

I knew licky boss was a troll from the start. When people found out some said they didn't care as they loved the thread. confused

Rooners Tue 20-Aug-13 20:12:21

I keep reporting certain threads but MNHQ aren't even saying 'we have no reason to believe this person is anything other than genuine' any more.

They are saying 'thanks for the heads up' and putting them in classics.


I think they just don't KNOW. Well, whatever...

everlong Tue 20-Aug-13 20:12:33

Licky boss.

Is that as minging as it sounds?!

Sparklingbrook Tue 20-Aug-13 20:14:32

He/she wanted to lick the boss's chest apparently everlong. As you do....

Rooners Tue 20-Aug-13 20:14:36

AND there is a flashing pair of buttocks to the right every 5th page or so.

What is happening to Mn. [sadface]

roundtable Tue 20-Aug-13 20:15:04

I've reported last night and I never do but one poster seemed to be heading towards a quite traumatic finish and a lot of posters seemed to be sucked into the drama of her threads. Not sure if she's still here though. Her posting style reminded me of someone else put I couldn't put my finger on who.

I take it the poo one has gone...?

Flashing pair of buttocks? Where?

ArtexMonkey Tue 20-Aug-13 20:16:00

You're darn tootin reality bro.

MrsKoala Tue 20-Aug-13 20:17:01

Tramadol - Maybe i'm just a twat too trusting then because i never notice that kind of stuff. I think unless you take things at face value there's no point being on a chat site really. I also would never recognise a posters style or type of thread, so would never know if it was a banned poster trolling. I only click on ones which interest me so maybe i subconsciously quality control the bullshit out.

(I am also always a bit paranoid i am thought of as a troll/drama llama/drip feeder etc so probably give people the benefit of the doubt)

I enjoyed the 'Rockerfeller funded feminism you deluded puppets so that tax revenue would grow' conspiracy thread. Despite the obviousness of the trollery.

Better choices of phrasing would include:

'Rockerfeller funded feminism so that tax revenue would grow, you deluded puppets'

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 20:19:31

roundtable there is a CvQ alike going at the moment.

I'm not linking or giving any clues though as it is verboten.

MrsCampbellBlack Tue 20-Aug-13 20:21:57

Oh I read that one Reality. Was very sad

Was that the poo crumbs one roundtable? Was that a troll then? To what purpose? I found it rather amusing...

HepsibarCrinkletoes Tue 20-Aug-13 20:23:45

Darn Tootin, Artex?

That's where I live innit.

MN is so full of shit at the moment that not only have I had to entertain my smallest kid, I have even entertained Other People's Children FFS.

Though I did drink wine with Valpolicella today. That WAS good. Lunchtime and all.

MrsKoala Tue 20-Aug-13 20:24:25

okay - i defo seem to be missing all the excitement. The most thrilling i've read is about a neighbour using someone elses drainpipe confused

roundtable Tue 20-Aug-13 20:26:30

Reality - don't know if this classes as giving a clue, mnhq is welcome to delete if they think so but I felt a series of threads was leading up to a rape. I may have been very wrong, I really hope I am. Not sure of who you mean but I wonder if anyone felt the same. I just felt that I needed to report it before vulnerable people were really affected.

Funny trolls are fun, those emotional vampires are damaging. I think they do it as they don't have to face the damage they do but can get the thrill they don't get in rl. Sad, very sad.

HepsibarCrinkletoes Tue 20-Aug-13 20:28:40

Oh and yes to a favourite MNer thread please. My favourite one this week will be Reality just for the record, as I'll be eating her food, drinking her booze and dingdinging her DH for drinks while her DD takes charge of mine. What is not to favour with that set up?

Mintyy Tue 20-Aug-13 20:28:56

"I must start eating properly next week"

Oh God, more raw egg yolks on toast.

HepsibarCrinkletoes Tue 20-Aug-13 20:29:23

Roundtable - spot on.

MrsKoala Tue 20-Aug-13 20:30:32

oh no Roundtable - that sounds horrible. I didn't read anything like that i don't think.

I'm in a different time zone so you are all probably drunk by my mid morning grin so i miss a lot.

Mintyy Tue 20-Aug-13 20:30:33

I've been a bit part-time online lately. Its the usual holiday bollocks I take it?

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 20:31:04

D'oh, I just tried to pm you, Roundtable, and reported you instead.

Have pmed younow, I think.

Anyway, speculation and trollhunting is NOT what this trhead is about.


HepsibarCrinkletoes Tue 20-Aug-13 20:31:18

Zackly right Mintyy?

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 20:32:23

<preen> at favourite MNer.

I must get my head in the game about having guests at the weekend. At the moment I can offer some out of date beer and leftover curry. Must go to the shops.

JulieMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 20-Aug-13 20:35:38

We really love it when we get reports about things that you're worried about, it's the little button next to 'Message poster'.


ArtexMonkey Tue 20-Aug-13 20:36:13

I think I know of what roundtBle does speak of of.

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 20:36:33

I've been reporting like a demon, Julie.

Even by accident when I'm trying to gossip and watch tv at the same time blush

ArtexMonkey Tue 20-Aug-13 20:37:12

..and yes, kellyhopter, who ARE you? I jolly well think you seem like a jolly fellow.

ArtexMonkey Tue 20-Aug-13 20:39:02

I love that reality has just basically sent some cheeky off board gossippy pm shizzle straight to mn's inbox. grin

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 20:40:07

Hehe, Julie's just thanked me for tipping her off. I've basically narced on my own gossipy thread.


Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 20:40:39

<complains about little buttons being too damned close together>

TeaAndABiscuit Tue 20-Aug-13 20:48:25

I've read MN for years and I'm a very occasional poster in other sections usually for specific issues and will occasionally chip in on other people's threads. I read AIBU every so often and have a chuckle and don't take it seriously but very rarely post. I started my own (genuine) thread the other day and was expecting some disagreement as that's what you sign up to with AIBU but was on the of receiving end of someone being an absolute arse. If there is an assumption that if you don't know someone's username then they're a full 'o shite troll you do kind of think 'why bother' and toddle off.

Libertine73 Tue 20-Aug-13 20:51:47

Hold on, hold on ...*out of date beer*??

ArtexMonkey Tue 20-Aug-13 20:51:57

You've accidentally grassed yourself up. Like Frankie Fraser on brasseye. grin

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 20:53:47

LIbertine, DH found it in the shed. A whole crate, I think it was left over from my birthday party. In December.

I didn't even know leftover alcohol was a thing, let alone forgotten alcohol.


HepsibarCrinkletoes Tue 20-Aug-13 21:10:10

Out of date beer? FFS sort it out woman.

I am drinking in-date beer. See, I am Margot wink

always wanted to be Barbara

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 21:13:32

In date beer! There's posh envy.

<looks down nose snobbishly>

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 21:14:20

Don't worry Heps, we'll be all vodka'd up and ready to entertain by the weekend.

DH is looking forward to ding dinging you.

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 21:15:21

I am drinking it out of the can.

It adds a je ne sais quoi. And rat piss, probably

ArtexMonkey Tue 20-Aug-13 21:16:37

I am wearing tan palazzo pants and a leopard skin vest, even though I haven't left the house today. I LIVE margot leadbeater yo. I might have a fondue party later on. Yeah,how d'you like them apples? Bunch of amateurs.

Oh, alright then, if you insist

I'll be Barbara.

<skips off to milk goat>

Trills Tue 20-Aug-13 21:18:03

YABU because you have posted in AIBU without asking a question about reasonableness.



Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 21:18:20

You do Margot LIKE A BOSS.

I'm more Steptoe.

ArtexMonkey Tue 20-Aug-13 21:18:32

DH is looking forward to ding dinging you

I knew it! Hepsibar, these are SEX PEOPLE!

I'm betting she has pampas grass in her front garden.

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 21:20:17

Was it the pampas grass or the cock pictures that gave it away?


HepsibarCrinkletoes Tue 20-Aug-13 21:20:31

Hahahaha. I think I saw pampas grass you know.

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 21:20:36

Ha x post

HepsibarCrinkletoes Tue 20-Aug-13 21:20:49

Excellent x-post

I apologise for inserting goats into the middle of that situation grin

shock We've become one! Argh!

HepsibarCrinkletoes Tue 20-Aug-13 21:22:20

Fucking howling here!

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 21:22:52

The mind meld has finally happened, m'dears.

Buffy I'd watch out before you become assimilated...


HepsibarCrinkletoes Tue 20-Aug-13 21:23:03

Within 18 seconds we three pervs all comment on the pampas. I love it.

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 21:23:05

Er, grin

I knew there was a reason we were all such good friends. Pervy cunts the lots of us.

I am unsure whether to back away or just abandon myself to the moment...

roundtable Tue 20-Aug-13 21:26:14

How rude Reality, I'm no troll although I'm a bit hairy if I don't sort it

Checking the inbox now. Glad to see I wasn't the only one who thought that, I did waver as I reported incase I sullied someones name unnecessarily.

tethersend Tue 20-Aug-13 21:27:56

Ah, it may be wall-to-wall bollocks in here at the moment, but I have read my favourite thing ever in here this week.

"Yes, you read that right, every single person in that family has been entirely dependent on benefits since before the First World war. They found this out by doing internet gynaecology."


grin don't be afraid Buffy, throw caution to the wind!

HepsibarCrinkletoes Tue 20-Aug-13 21:29:26

Buffy just throw caution to the wind and join in. You know you want to.

HepsibarCrinkletoes Tue 20-Aug-13 21:30:00

Are you me ABF?

<shrugs off kaftan and abandons self to sex people mind meld>

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 21:34:44

grin at sex people mind meld. Oh god, this is what people are going to remember me for, isn;t it?

On my MN headstone it'll say, here lies Reality, mental sex person.

<dies of shame>

I'm beginning to think so.

At least die of some sort of unwise sex contortion attempt, no?

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 21:37:05

For me, that woudl mean anything other than in bed with the lights out.

<desperately restyles self as arch prude>


I mean yes, yes that'll work.

HepsibarCrinkletoes Tue 20-Aug-13 21:39:09

I'm so looking forward to Saturday night. grin

Sounds, um, totally plausible to me. Oh yeah.

envy I wanna come!

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 21:43:31

I've sent you a FB thingy, you're more than welcome of course. But you might have to share the sofa with Hepsibar...

I can't sad i'm doing that fucking thing where you sleep under canvas in a field somewhere. <comes out in hives>

I'll have to inflict on your hospitality and eat you out of house and home another time. I'm still waiting for the chance to see just how good you really are at singstar...

Reality Tue 20-Aug-13 21:51:21

I am EPIC. Duh.

Brr and erk at the camping thing.

Have fu-un!

JulieMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 20-Aug-13 22:04:35


I've been reporting like a demon, Julie.

Even by accident when I'm trying to gossip and watch tv at the same time blush

Yes, and you're wonderful. It can take a little time to look into things but we do look at every single report.

KellyHopter Tue 20-Aug-13 22:07:25

CVQalike! Oh god yes, exactly my thoughts

JulieMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 20-Aug-13 22:07:43


Hehe, Julie's just thanked me for tipping her off. I've basically narced on my own gossipy thread.


Yes, you have! grin

KellyHopter Tue 20-Aug-13 22:10:07

Artex I am what used to be JeremyVile. Doubt that enlightens you any though!

AnyFucker Tue 20-Aug-13 22:17:02

ooh, kelly, I remember JeremyVile

GobbySadcase Tue 20-Aug-13 22:17:04

That was LAGER.
Much preferred the Sussex Gold at the Beddy. wink

SinisterSal Tue 20-Aug-13 22:18:26

internet gynaecology!

thebody Tue 20-Aug-13 22:28:12

I totally belived the poo crumbs and the penis thread.

we're they made up?

usualsuspect Tue 20-Aug-13 22:32:33

I never click threads with poo in the title.

roundtable Tue 20-Aug-13 22:42:33

I think when she got into a debate over pooing accidently and farting so a nugget flew out, it was dubious. grin

'Tis very worrying that people just seemed to think that was normal.

thebody Tue 20-Aug-13 22:45:52

I didn't get that far in the thread. not to the pooing a nugget anyway.

still some people are wierd.

scottishmurnmy Tue 20-Aug-13 22:52:15

somebodywant me?

lurcherlieber Tue 20-Aug-13 22:55:51

That was cack that. I thought swapping the 'm' with 'rn' would look far more convincing! I also dont remember what scottishmummys posts look like properly but i was thinking along the lines of broken keyboard grin

Apologies for the interruption smile

AnneUulmelmahay Tue 20-Aug-13 22:56:57

Omfg kellyhopter. Bloody welcome back matey. ( tis I, hem hem, deep undercover)

Sparklingbrook Tue 20-Aug-13 22:57:17

Yay scottishmummy where have you been?

HurricaneWyn Tue 20-Aug-13 23:01:01

grin scottishmurnmy
You need to text enigmatically
Three lines at a time

lurcherlieber Tue 20-Aug-13 23:02:21

Wow it worked. Too much wine has clearly been drank (drunk?) tonight grin

lurcherlieber Tue 20-Aug-13 23:05:59

Yes that's right hurricane! And say wee a lot. Ive actually heard scottishmummy mentioned more than ive seen of her posts, she must be the mn favourite if thats the case?

Coconutty Tue 20-Aug-13 23:08:13

A very pathetic person came onto a thread and admitted that a couple of the more 'popular' threads were started by her to see how outraged MN would get. Just a bit of fun etc etc. Stealing milk, anyone? Fucking idiot.

I'm on the lookout in case he/she pops back wink

ScrambledSmegs Tue 20-Aug-13 23:08:54

words on a screen
trust nae fucker
ye can't resist the power of the dark side.


Mintyy Tue 20-Aug-13 23:11:51

pmsl at internet gynaecology

Doingakatereddy Tue 20-Aug-13 23:12:32

No one is playing with their kids are they?

I do like the word 'cuntychops' though. My new summer project is to ignore the kids & get the word 'cuntychops' into at least one conversation a day. Preferably with my MIL.

That'll make a fun thread

KellyHopter Tue 20-Aug-13 23:37:05

Anne...I have to know! Pm me?

AnneUulmelmahay Tue 20-Aug-13 23:52:37

Oh bollocks, cannot pm you back so yay! from me here. Hurhur.

Mintyy Tue 20-Aug-13 23:59:28

Jezza!!! Good to see you. Will you please stick around and stop name changing?

Same goes for you ... <cough> Anne (it is you isn't it?)

AnneUulmelmahay Wed 21-Aug-13 00:12:01

Yep, tis I, your fave nc-er

Reality Wed 21-Aug-13 07:17:53

Gobby, shh, out of date beer sounds posher than out of date Carlsberg-ou-of-the-can.

Glad you enjoyed the beddy.

That is not a sex people comment, you lot.

Reality Wed 21-Aug-13 07:18:33

And HELLO Jezza, I knew I 'knew' you.

Reality Wed 21-Aug-13 07:19:20

I invented cuntychops, apparently. Or certainly, 'off you fuck then, Cuntychops'.

I do love it so.

TramadolDaze Wed 21-Aug-13 07:27:28

I think I finally understand what HeySoul was saying yesterday - that you can just spot them - I'm pretty sure I've just read one.....and everything about it screamed <<push those buttons>> <<push them harder>>! If the OP has no other posting history does that make it more likely than not to be complete BS?

HepsibarCrinkletoes Wed 21-Aug-13 07:58:34

off you fuck then Cuntychops is my best post ever read on here! So much so that when I type cuntychops on my iPad it finishes the word for me. grin

Off you fuck then cuntychops is indeed brilliant but I feared for a short while it was going to be overused become totally annoying.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now