Wibu to out exdps to new gf?

(51 Posts)
Ohlookitstwins Tue 20-Aug-13 13:41:20

To tell exdps new gf that we have been sleeping together up until last week when i found out about het and another woman he is having a baby with. while sleeping with both of us or would that make me look like a pyscho bitter ex?

Sounds complicated.

Faezy Tue 20-Aug-13 13:43:32

Others probably won't agree but I'd tell her. Be prepared for her to believe him though unless you have evidence. Even then she's likely to be in denial.

You might look like a "pyscho bitter ex", but I would! grin
On the other hand, do you have any reason to believe that she doesn't already know it?

DuchessFanny Tue 20-Aug-13 13:46:02

Have you all been using precautions ? If not they need to know that you're all 'sharing' also - get yourself tested !

pollyblue Tue 20-Aug-13 13:46:06

How long has he been your ex?

And why are you still having sex with him, if he is your ex?

Hang on, let me get the timeline right.

You were with XP.
You and XP broke up.
XP got another woman pregnant (PW).
XP started seeing yet another woman (GF).
You and XP started having sex again but you didn't know about PW or GF.
You found out about PW and GF and stopped sleeping with him.

Is that right?

Do you think GF knows about PW? Was there a break between them or did they overlap?

It isn't your responsibility to speak to GF or PW about each other, and I don't think either of them would take it well. XP is clearly a twat player and unlikely to change, so he wouldn't respond to suggestions to come clean.

Do you have any mutual friends that could join the dots for GF?

ilovesooty Tue 20-Aug-13 13:50:36

If you want to sleep with someone who puts himself about like that it's up to you.

I would have thought your priority would be getting yourself checked and reflecting on your own sexual choices rather than involving yourself in other people's.

AnyFucker Tue 20-Aug-13 13:56:27

Let Jeremy decide

ilovesooty Tue 20-Aug-13 13:57:57

Nice one AF
I was thinking the same thing.

GetStuffezd Tue 20-Aug-13 13:59:24

Let Jeremy decide
Indeed

ImNotABarbieGirl Tue 20-Aug-13 14:01:28

Id let her know. Wouldn't you want to know? Apart from her awful (and yours) taste in men, I'm assumeing this woman has done nothing wrong? I really hope you have all used protection esp for the poor pregnant womans sake hmm

Ohlookitstwins Tue 20-Aug-13 14:07:05

Yes very compilcated i agree.

We broke up in jan but have been sleeping together the why is beyond me i still love hi blah blah blah u have heard it all before.

horry has the situation right it may be none of my business about gf but hes also my dcs father so do need to know about pw new gf doesn't know anything nore does pw.

Ohlookitstwins Tue 20-Aug-13 14:11:13

Clearly he wasn't with pw or me as for gf i don't know i have already been checked.

And for those who are saying about the man we chose nobody chooses to be with someone who does this sort of thing i know i didn't.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 20-Aug-13 14:12:41

Tell them. It's the decent thing.

AnyFucker Tue 20-Aug-13 14:13:14

You are dropping him like a rank fish now though

aren't you ?

ilovesooty Tue 20-Aug-13 14:14:09

Of course you chose him. Anyone would think you have no responsibility or control.

Ohlookitstwins Tue 20-Aug-13 14:15:15

He has been dropped just wish it was off a cliff.

AnyFucker Tue 20-Aug-13 14:16:36

You knew about his new girlfriend already, didn't you ?

It's the third spoke in this rather nasty little wheel that is news to you, yes ?

How strange it's that triggering your newfound judginess about the sexual shenanigans of this man you love. Yuk.

Ohlookitstwins Tue 20-Aug-13 14:18:27

Yes sooty i chose to be with someone who when i met four years ago was loving caring honest and kind not a man that has turned into the most vile nastiest creature i can have ever met so yes thank you your comments really help.

ilovesooty Tue 20-Aug-13 14:19:17

I think AF is spot on there.

ilovesooty Tue 20-Aug-13 14:20:47

Wow. That's some personality transplant.

Ohlookitstwins Tue 20-Aug-13 14:21:34

No af i didn't not until he told me last week they have only been together two months so assume what you like.

Bogeyface Tue 20-Aug-13 14:22:26

I'm confused, is he seeing her and sleeping with you too? Or is there a third woman who he has been seeing as well who is now pregnant by him?

mrsjay Tue 20-Aug-13 14:22:55

god he sound s a charmer seriously what would you achieve if you told anybody why are you sleeping with him and he has a new girlfriend and a baby on the way with somebody else am i getting that right, tell them if you like but he wont suffer and he wont come back you .im not even sure who you are going to tell about what, he must like a dog with 2 dicks with all these women

AnyFucker Tue 20-Aug-13 14:24:09

which of the women is pregnant ?

Leverette Tue 20-Aug-13 14:24:53

confused

ilovesooty Tue 20-Aug-13 14:25:04

I think there are three of them but he's only been a serial philanderer since his personality transplant.

ImNotABarbieGirl Tue 20-Aug-13 14:26:00

You can't choose who you fall for but you can choose to do the right thing.

Bogeyface Tue 20-Aug-13 14:26:18

Or more likely been a serial philanderer since day one and sadly it is only now that the scales have falled from the OPs eyes sad

To answer the OP I would tell them both. They deserve to know what kind of man he is, as I very much doubt they know he is sleeping with you, much less each other.

Ohlookitstwins Tue 20-Aug-13 14:28:13

He's sleeping with three of us

mrsjay Tue 20-Aug-13 14:28:27

I think an ex but not The ex is pregnant but not the new girlfriend confused

ReetPetit Tue 20-Aug-13 14:28:36

i think you should get yourself some self respect and leave the rest of them too it. sounds to me as though you are pretty pissed off he has got someone else up the duff and for that reason you are now wanting to tell all.

i would get myself some std testing and you could Jeremy a call while you are at it, you all sound just his cup of tea...

mrsjay Tue 20-Aug-13 14:29:01

tell them hurt them least they know how disgusting he is and has no respect for any of you ,

Bogeyface Tue 20-Aug-13 14:31:32

Nice Reet real nice!

Its hardly the OPs fault that he has the morals of an alleycat. Love makes us do stupid things and she has since dumped him so is hardly still involved.

One of these women is carrying the OPs childs half sibling, that makes her involved.

iloveweetos Tue 20-Aug-13 14:32:23

Best of out of it and leave him to his mess. What will you get out of it? Get rid and move on.

Bogeyface Tue 20-Aug-13 14:32:33

Sorry that should read that she is not still involved in a relationship with him, but she is still involved in the situation as this woman his having her childs half sibling.

WafflyVersatile Tue 20-Aug-13 14:35:06

Yes, tell them. They probably won't thank you but at least they can then make decisions about their lives with the truth instead of lies.

Ohlookitstwins Tue 20-Aug-13 14:36:18

May just take your advice and give jeremy a call really people ask for advice and get slated pointless.

reet your damn right i'm pissed off but thats not the reason why i feel i should say something as a woman and a human i think its right that she should know or they both should know

NayFindus Tue 20-Aug-13 14:36:40

People do change. There was a teacher on here recently, met the love of her life, thought they were going to grow old together. She got pregnant, meaning they couldn't go travelling as planned and he said he would support her. Through the abortion. Then told her if she didn't get rid of it he would.

They'd been together 3 years I think. Not anymore though, obviously.

Ohlookitstwins Tue 20-Aug-13 14:40:03

Posted to soon..one of them as bogey says is going to be involed in my dcs lives therefore it has alot to do with me.

Yes i was dumb enougj to keep going back there but hey thats what hindsights for is it not?

Ohlookitstwins Tue 20-Aug-13 14:45:57

Excatly findus people do change maybe he has been doing the same thing cheating on me throughout our relatuonship i don't know all i know is the person i knew is not the person he is now an its not only me that has noticed his personality change sooty his whole family has.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Tue 20-Aug-13 14:54:28

Yes I would tell them both. Just as you have dropped him, so they need to make that choice too.
I would be most upset if I found out that someone had kept me in the dark.

AnneUulmelmahay Tue 20-Aug-13 15:08:11

Hmmmmm. You found out last week and have already arranged an std test and got the results as allclear? Crikey moses.

But no, don't tell. Sort self esteem, learn to love and nurture yourself body and soul.

Good luck.

Ohlookitstwins Tue 20-Aug-13 15:49:31

I never said i had any results back as yet its not really that hard to walk into a clinic and get an std check though.

Tell her.

mrsjay Tue 20-Aug-13 16:51:43

DO you see nohing wrong in shagging your ex boyfriend while he is shagging other woman and one is pregnant nothing at all except you think they should know what advice did you want people have advised you , the man is a disrespectful arse who is getting his jollies all over the place as are you except you are only shagging him he must be bloody exhausted

Famzilla Tue 20-Aug-13 17:12:33

Jesus Christ.

Yeah tell them if you want more drama. They won't believe you but maybe you could do a lie detector test at the same time he is getting a DNA on the new baby?

If it were me I would just walk away from the whole thing, leave him to it.

Ohlookitstwins Tue 20-Aug-13 17:46:07

Mrsji have already said i did not know about his new gf he does not live with me therefore i don't see him everyday so don't know what he does when he leaves we slept together maybe once or twice a month and i've also said it was very stupid of me to be sleeping with my ex but i don't think i should have to justify why i did it or weather or not it was wrong.

I am also quite aware that he is an arse who was having his cake and eating it i was looking for advice onvweather or not to tell his gf what he is doing i would want to know.

daisychain01 Tue 20-Aug-13 17:56:32

There is zero value telling anyone about anything OP, you have asked for advice not judgement.

So here it is - please just spin on your heels, walk away from the past, leave it in the past, focus on getting your life back on track and leave the rest behind you, while you stil have some sanity.

We all make mistakes, but when you get in a hole, stop digging..

All the legacy stuff is just noise and baggage. Don't make your own misery even worse by getting embroiled. Its just not worth it. That's all.

AnyFucker Tue 20-Aug-13 18:02:38

daisy gives good advice, take it OP

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