Giving DS cake for breakfast

(78 Posts)
ShadowMeltingInTheSun Wed 07-Aug-13 07:26:42

DS woke up early this morning, so DH went downstairs with DS while I got washed.

When I got downstairs, I found that instead of say, changing DS's nappy or giving DS his milk or a normal breakfast, DH has given DS Battenburg cake for breakfast. I'm not sure how much DS ate, but there's half a Battenburg missing now.

Apparently this is okay because DS loves cake (he does love cake), and DH wanted to make DS happy.

Am I really being unreasonable to think that toddlers shouldn't be given cake for breakfast, regardless of how much they like eating cake?

ShadowMeltingInTheSun Wed 07-Aug-13 07:27:21

DS is not quite 2 yrs old btw.

Fakebook Wed 07-Aug-13 07:30:14

I gave DS (19m) cake for breakfast yesterday. It was ok though because he had a proper breakfast a few hours later. Just swap the snack time with breakfast and he'll get the same nutritional balance. No biggie. The only thing I'll disagree with is the fact it was battenburg...bleugh.

Amy106 Wed 07-Aug-13 07:30:39

I would agree that there are better breakfast choices to be made than cake ( although cake really is yummy!)

Indith Wed 07-Aug-13 07:31:32

YANBU, not at all. Cake for breakfast on birthdays is fine. Cake for breakfast a Christmas is fine. Stealing a bit of cake from mummy when mummy has cake for breakfast because she has had fuck all sleep and been awake since 3am and just bloody wants cake is fine in conjunction with a rather more normal breakfast but your dh is just being lazy and silly and reinforcing the idea that you can just eat what you like when you like.

aturtlenamedmack Wed 07-Aug-13 07:32:22

It isn't the end of the world, just give him some proper brekkie later and ask him not to do it again.

moogy1a Wed 07-Aug-13 07:32:28

When we stay in French b and b's in Normandy or Brittany we've often been presented with apple or chocolate cake for breakfast.
Does he normally have a completely sugar free breakfast?

natwebb79 Wed 07-Aug-13 07:33:13

Is he always a bit of a Disney Dad? grin

VinegarDrinker Wed 07-Aug-13 07:33:56

As a one off I certainly wouldn't stress about it, but if your DH makes a habit of just giving DS whatever he wants, no questions asked, while leaving you to be mean/sensible Mummy, I wouldn't be impressed.

Poppanicolino Wed 07-Aug-13 07:34:54

DD had cake for supper the other night (unintentionally). It was a one off. It really isn't the end of the world.

iloveweetos Wed 07-Aug-13 07:36:39

DD had cake for breakfast after my birthday but had breakfast as normal a while later. So agree as above. Replace snack time with breakfast

IceNoSlice Wed 07-Aug-13 07:36:54

Now I want cake for breakfast.

Cherriesarelovely Wed 07-Aug-13 07:37:09

Occasionally it's really no big deal but if it was all the time it wouldn't be good especially if it is couched in "I just want him to be happy terms" suggests if YOU don't give him cake, you don't want him to be happy!!

Smartiepants79 Wed 07-Aug-13 07:37:18

It's not the end of the world but it is pretty lazy parenting on your DH's part.
Children like ice cream, biscuits and chocolate buttons too but none of them are particularly good breakfast foods!
They 'like' doing all sorts of things that aren't good for them it's his job to decide if they do them or not.
I would worry less bout the cake and a bit more about DH's attitude to parenting.

DaddyPigsMistress Wed 07-Aug-13 07:41:20

Cake for breakfast once in a while wont kill him

diddl Wed 07-Aug-13 07:42:33

Did your son even ask to have cake for breakfast?

Was your husband being lazy?

And your husband wanted to make your son happy?

I'm not even sure what that means!

That he'll just let him have what he wants/never wants to say no/be the "bad" parent/thinks this is what he has to do to make his son love him??

We all want our kids to be happy-but it can't always happen all of the time!

moogy1a Wed 07-Aug-13 07:53:34

Agree it depends how often it happens. Sometimes you do that sort of thing 'cos they just look so gorgeous you want to treat them and watch them enjoy themselves.

fluffyraggies Wed 07-Aug-13 07:55:27

I thought ''he wanted to make him happy'' was really sweet! grin


I'd have looked at dh and asked what he was thinking.

I'd be miffed.

fluffyraggies Wed 07-Aug-13 08:09:06

But surely this is just a one off? confused

OP hasn't said DH always feeds DS cake when he does the morning routine.

And if this is the first and only time OPs DH has ever taken his DS downstairs in the morning then that's even more [confusing]!

ShadowMeltingInTheSun Wed 07-Aug-13 08:10:55

The suggestions about giving DS breakfast at snack time are good.

Cake for breakfast isn't a regular thing, and I really don't want it to turn into one!

DS may well have asked for cake - it wouldn't be that unusual for him to try it on and ask for cake, biscuits and so on - but so long as no-one else is eating one in front of him, he's never seemed upset at being told that he's not getting one. So not getting cake probably wouldn't have made him unhappy at all....

PearlyWhites Wed 07-Aug-13 08:23:37

It's the op who is doing the lazy parenting, her dh went downstairs and fed their ds. Maybe wash later op after you have fed your ds or get up earlier if you are so concerned.

livinginwonderland Wed 07-Aug-13 08:29:37

I had chocolate chip cookies for breakfast today and I'm 24!

Nothing wrong with it as an occasional treat.

My girls had ring donuts with sprinkles for breakfast, just so I could have 15 more minutes in bed - they were happy and I didn't have to get out of bed at 6am!

NoComet Wed 07-Aug-13 08:34:40

DH's will feed DCs what ever is lying around for breakfast. When the DCs are older DHs will turn a blind eye to what they get themselves for breakfast.

Rice Crispies are banned in this house as DD2 puts 5 spoonfuls of sugar on them and DH doesn't tell her off.

She's 12, very slight and knows full well she shouldn't, but can't resist.

fluffyraggies Wed 07-Aug-13 08:36:10

Well, i know you're only mulling this over OP, and not threatening divorce or anything grin

Let it go and don't stress. Nice that your DH wanted to make him happy. We read so many stories of blokes that couldn't care less about their kids here ...

A bit of Battenburg is definitely 'small stuff' smile

NoComet Wed 07-Aug-13 08:36:55

Also I have to confess, to giving DD2 coke for breakfast when she'd stayed up reading long after I thought she was a sleep and I'd promised to take DSIS swimming that morning.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 07-Aug-13 08:39:05

Nothing wrong with a good wholesome cake but Battenburg is NOT that. Those things are terrible...full of preservatives and colourings.

sameoldIggi Wed 07-Aug-13 08:40:36

It is annoying and is part of the whole "do it yourself if you want it done right" sexism involved in parenting that I hate.

Tee2072 Wed 07-Aug-13 08:41:54

Yes, Pearly because OP parents all by herself. hmm

I would let it go. Although we do have a rule in this house that you have to eat something 'proper' before you have a sweet at breakfast lunch or dinner.

HollyBerryBush Wed 07-Aug-13 08:42:08

Does cake acquire poisonous properties before 3pm or something? will the child explode? OMG ! Oh no! all those Danish pastries at board meeting I've quaffed over the years. The bastards were trying to kill me off.

ChunkyChicken Wed 07-Aug-13 08:42:27

I don't get MN.

Fruit shoots are the work of the devil but someone annoyed about their not yet 2yo getting a sickly, overly sweet cake with zero nutritional content for breakfast because his Dad didn't want to be the bad guy/sensible parent is ridiculous, needs to get a grip, its only once... oh and is lazy!!! hmm

Why shouldn't the father deal with his son in the morning?!!! And properly??!

OP - I'd be cross with my DH in these circs. Essentially he has undermined you and your routine, being lazy & wanting to be 'nice'. Why do you have to be the sensible parent?

Think this thread is the last straw.<heads off to flouncers corner>

Howstricks Wed 07-Aug-13 08:46:35

I suppose that pain au chocolat, muffins, frosties, toast and jam, pancakes and syrup are all sugar filled breakfast choices. Maybe a balance..battenburg and apple slices? smile.

MadBusLady Wed 07-Aug-13 08:47:05

YANBU, your DH was an idiot. Ask him to have a little think about your DS's prospective teenage years, car keys and whiskey.

nokidshere Wed 07-Aug-13 08:47:46

cake is part of breakfast menu in many parts of the world. As an occasional treat its not the end of the world.

When my two well fed toddlers were old enough to come down alone (4 & 5 ish) they would have had brekkie by the time I was up - usually a pack of custard creams smile it hasn't stopped them growing into huge strapping teenagers who eat pretty well most of the time and have never needed any dental work done smile

Peachyjustpeachy Wed 07-Aug-13 08:49:06

make home made banana bread... present it as cake

One of your 5 a day!!!!!!

diddl Wed 07-Aug-13 08:49:55

this is what you need, OP
(Breakfast cake!)

I think as others have said, OK as a one off.

And possibly depends on husband's reasoning.

I'm sure I'd be annoyed & thinking FFS-is toast/cereal & milk so hard to organise!

MadBusLady Wed 07-Aug-13 08:50:24

And for those asking, yes, Danish pastries, brioche, croissants and sugary cereal are all shit breakfasts too. Whenever I think I'm going to have something like that as a "treat" I am always starving and regretting it by 10.30.

Peachyjustpeachy Wed 07-Aug-13 08:51:41

to be fair though... when DD was 18 months old her dad let her do something, because 'he didnt want to upset her'

I said..... think about when she is 14 about to go out of the door in a skirt that shows her knickers..are you going to let her go out like that because you dont want to upset her by saying she cant?

.. you are not upsetting her you are being a good parent

PrettyKitty1986 Wed 07-Aug-13 08:52:24

If it's just a one off then what's the issue?

In the past mine have had biscuits for breakfast. As a one off. So what?

ChunkyChicken Wed 07-Aug-13 08:54:16

It's not the cake - its the lazy parenting on the part of his Dad!! If he didn't just want an easy life, & give in to demands, or not have the hassle of making a bowl of cereal, then there's nothing wrong with cake on occassion. My breakfast is often 'breakfast' biscuits & a yogurt, but usually because I'm in a rush. The OP didn't say anything about her DH needing to hurry up & get DS somewhere - in fact, he's up 'early'. The implication that OP has to be the responsible, sensible one and not give in to her DS's childish (and expected) demands, whilst her DH gets to make him "happy".

notanyanymore Wed 07-Aug-13 08:54:40

i think it appears annoying and lazy because he hasn't attended to what needs to be done first, he could have at least changed his nappy too!

SuperiorCat Wed 07-Aug-13 08:56:32

What smartiepants said

Sirzy Wed 07-Aug-13 08:56:42

howsticks has a good point - it is probably no worse than a lot of breakfast options which are sold for breakfast.

I think if it was every day it would be a problem but not as a one off.

MadBusLady Wed 07-Aug-13 08:58:42

I'm also guessing your DH isn't going to be around for the almighty flatlining glucose tantrum that will hit in about two and a half hours. Half a Battenburg would knock an adult out.

hugoagogo Wed 07-Aug-13 09:00:31

I have a slice of lemon tart in the fridge, pondering having it for breakfast now. grin

MadBusLady Wed 07-Aug-13 09:01:22

I still have wedding cake left over from DBro's wedding.

I WILL REGRET IT. <chants to self>

Emilythornesbff Wed 07-Aug-13 09:03:06

Sweet that he wanted to make him happy.
I think cake is ok for breakfast tbh. Not every day but not that bad. Probably not much worse than toast or cereal in some ways.
But he should have changed his nappy.wink
Tbh I would encourage it occasionally of it means OH gets up first. grin
Did he make you a cup of tea?

AllSWornOut Wed 07-Aug-13 09:04:39

Pearly, you've just given me a good laugh! Or were you being serious? hmm

I had hobnobs for breakfast but my EDD is on Thursday so I think I'm allowed although now I want Battenburg cake too

curlew Wed 07-Aug-13 09:05:16

I do so hate the "mother as senior parent" thing that goes on.

Cake for breakfast? No big deal. Child seeing father being treated like an extra child who has to defer to to mother in all thing- big deal.

Emilythornesbff Wed 07-Aug-13 09:06:18

Op. you are definitely not lazy.
You should have stayed in bed longer and polished off the cake when you got up.

FreudiansSlipper Wed 07-Aug-13 09:09:44

really it's a one off what a drama over nothing. Parent gives in to child to make life a little easier and child enjoys it. really is it not something we have all done

some on here really need to relax a little

ds and I often have a cookie first thing

and read up on sugar content in many cereals these everyday are not a good thing cake every now and then is fine

LadyClariceCannockMonty Wed 07-Aug-13 09:16:56

As long as that's not your DH's habitual parenting style, it's not a big deal. I'd be a bit worried if he did generally parent by giving treats, doing things to make your DS 'happy' hmm etc though.

Pearly, you're having a laugh aren't you?

Fairy130389 Wed 07-Aug-13 09:37:08

The thing is, it's not really about the cake, is it? Breakfast, when you're 2 is about setting you up for a morning, not setting you up on a sugar high ready to crash in an hour or so... It is also about forming good attitudes to food I think. Agree that as a one off it won't hurt but think stick to special occasions rather than 'he likes cake!'

hides wrapper from breakfast chocolate croissant.

Oh and pearly... Perhaps you would benefit from letting your oh do a morning tomorrow. Sleep deprivation can make you post some really ridiculous things. Lazy? Really?!

Emilythornesbff Wed 07-Aug-13 09:40:39

Ok fairy but I think we might be forgiven for thinking it was about cake.
Given the op.
^ DS cake for breakfast^

Out of interest. What would he usually have for breakfast?

Fairy130389 Wed 07-Aug-13 09:50:45

Emily, I think I'm trying to deflect myself... My 6 week old has been awake since 5 all I can think about is a hefty (operative word) slice of anything. And that's after the croissant. Did I mention that building old eating habits is TEALLY important?!

Fairy130389 Wed 07-Aug-13 09:51:16

Argghhh! REALLY important. See? Sleep deprivation.

Fairy130389 Wed 07-Aug-13 09:51:52

Building GOOD eating habits! I give up.

MadBusLady Wed 07-Aug-13 10:27:55

<feeds Fairy cake>

Emilythornesbff Wed 07-Aug-13 13:40:31

Poor fairy. That early sleep deprivation is horrible.

badguider Wed 07-Aug-13 13:45:10

cake for breakfast as a one-off - fine. whatever, imo.

father setting himself up as 'fun parent' and making mother be 'sensible parent' - not on.

so if it's the former fine, if it's a symptom of the latter then i see why you'd be pissed off.. i won't stand for being made into the 'baddie'

Xihha Wed 07-Aug-13 14:29:22

Its a one of treat, i don't see why its an issue. My daughter had cake for breakfast last week because she's 4 and can reach the sides so she appeared in my room with it at 6am, she did bring me a slice too though so it was quite nice. I just made sure she had some proper breakfast later and we had a healthy lunch, she hasn't started demanding cake for every meal.

I'm assuming half the cakes gone because Daddy sat with DS and shared some cake, that's nice and children need a little treat with Dad for no reason every now and then, my dad and i used to sneak off for a cup of tea and a bacon roll from some greasy trailer in a carpark.

ShadowMeltingInTheSun Wed 07-Aug-13 18:46:23

Emilythornesbff -

breakfast for DS would be usually along the lines of:

milk to drink and buttered toast or porridge, with a bit of fruit on the side.

Fairy130389 Wed 07-Aug-13 19:38:31

Emily, don't worry because I had a Krispy creme donut today so feeling much better now... Damn you cake thread!

ShadowMeltingInTheSun Wed 07-Aug-13 19:45:34

Sorry Fairy grin

Emilythornesbff Wed 07-Aug-13 20:52:48

fairy yummy donut. envy

shadowmeltinginthesun oh I can see why you might be miffed. You normally give your DS a lovely breakfast. I gues everything is in the tone and context isn't it? It could have been a fun one- off - let it go thing, all good natured or a lazy, no respect for your good care and routine - don't bother asking me to do anything because I'll always take the easy way out thing.
Men! grin
Do you know which it was?

JodiLeighLeigh Wed 07-Aug-13 21:48:49

All you people criticising the husband - guessing your parenting is always 100 % perfect and you never do anything for an easy life?

It's a bit of cake, not cocaine. Her husband should be able to make the 'treat decisions' just as much as her!

That said, if it was happening often, I'd have a word about dietary requirements !

cheeseandbiscuitsplease Wed 07-Aug-13 22:21:17

My son always has a blueberry muffin for breakfast. And has even been known to have mcvities syrup cake. No big deal. He eats a balanced diet - just maybe in the wrong order ;)

AnnabelleLee Wed 07-Aug-13 22:25:10

Pfft, cake is much the same nutrionally than many so called kids cereals, notreally a big deal unless its every day.

sameoldIggi Wed 07-Aug-13 23:02:52

I think if you make breakfast nine times out if ten, then it's ok to sometimes give cake " for an easy life". If you make breakfast one time out of ten, you should make a decent breakfast.
Agree with pp, it is a bit Disney dad.

showtunesgirl Wed 07-Aug-13 23:13:32

Just read this out to my DH, he said: so long as he's not being given an espresso and a cigarette like they do in Italy, it's fine.

showtunesgirl Wed 07-Aug-13 23:14:07

I know that doesn't make sense, but I'm just saying what DH said verbatim.

AnnabelleLee Wed 07-Aug-13 23:16:29

In Italy children eat biscuits and sweetened hot chocolate for colazione (breakfast). Cake wouldn't raise an eyebrow.

stealthsquiggle Wed 07-Aug-13 23:28:02

My DC have cake (homemade, generally uniced) for breakfast sometimes.

I am not saying it is ideal, and my DM is quietly appalled, but neither of them are natural born breakfast eaters (they will quite happily go through to 11am before it occurs to them than they haven't eaten) so TBH I will concede most things that get something into them before school. Homemade uniced cake is no worse than most cereals IMHO.

I am sure DD's teacher prefers cake to DD's other preferred breakfast choice - stinky cheese and garlic sausage - especially come reading time grin.

stealthsquiggle Wed 07-Aug-13 23:29:13

Having said that I would have been miffed that DH hadn't tackled the nappy first.

ShadowMeltingInTheSun Thu 08-Aug-13 00:31:11

Is Battenburg really pretty much the same nutrionally as cereals aimed at children? Battenburg is coated in marzipan, after all.

I've not done a detailed survey or anything, but my gut feel is that if all cake types were listed from most to least healthy, Battenburg would definitely fall towards the extra-sugary unhealthy end of the cake spectrum.

Only cereal we keep in the house is porridge oats anyway. No added sugar in that, unless we choose to put it there ourselves.

SummerRain Thu 08-Aug-13 00:41:45

Ds1 and I had apple pie for breakfast yesterday. And for brunch and lunch, we'd polished the damn thing off between the two of us by 3pm blush

Battenburg would be a step to far for even my lax parenting though, and if he didn't even change his nappy it suggests that there was a fair degree of laziness involved in his decision making which would have annoyed me immensely

MyBaby1day Thu 08-Aug-13 04:01:39

Ha ha, no it's fine!!.

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