To tell you I have a mental illness(169 Posts)
Time to talk are having a "big share" on the demon facebook to raise awareness of mental health issues and prejudice.
i think this link will work
I suffer from depression and anxiety - it skews they way i take things sometimes, so something that would go over my head normally really upsets me and i over analyse EVERYTHING. I am on citalopram which helps with my anxiety and means i can get through the day without having a meltdown. I manage to be a good mum and decent partner and think im fun to be around. I am not ashamed to have a mental illness.
Good for you. Stigma and prejudice are massive in mental health and the more we talk about it, the better. You should be no more ashamed of having a mental health problem than having a broken arm. And clearly you're not, so good on you.
Thanks Argy - i am always very open about it, i don't like having these issues but im buggered if im going to be ashamed of them
Anyone else want to join the "big share"
I have found that because i am open about it in RL, that people tell me about their own issues - i am stunned at how many other people struggle.
Hi. Love this campaign. I also experience both depression & anxiety: in recent years, anxiety has been the bigger issue. I'm currently trying to manage some creeping increases in symptoms with techniques learnt in a course of cbt earlier this year- am 16w pg- but in the past have taken Citalopram and fluoxetine with success. I passionately believe there's nothing to be ashamed of with regard to mental ill health. You wouldn't be ashamed of a broken leg, or eczema! But I still find myself going through stages of denial before each episode, and I have to admit I'm scared of telling some people.
Well done Op. I also suffer with depression and anxiety and also taking citalopram. It helps take the edge of my moods and makes it easier to deal with day to day things, that before would send me over the edge.
Mental illness is not catching and should definitly be normalised.
My mum didn't get help for her depression for years and when she finally did, my dad was too embarrassed to explain to concerned MIL what she was being treated for. My mum told her MIL who at once thanked her for being so open and reassured her whenever she felt overwhelmed, to call on her for help, they were a lot closer from that moment.
That was 40 years' ago, I would hope there'd be no stigma at all by now, I hope this campaign really takes off.
Things have got better i think donkeys, i don't wear it like a badge, just the way as a diabetic wouldn't say to someone "oh hi, im LEM and am diabletic" but if it comes up in conversation I am quite open about it. Have experienced prejudice in the work-place though. Had to leave my job through it
You certainly should not be ashamed. I have a physical illness which I don't particularly like to talk about in RL, but I am aware that when I do need to, I can be sure of sympathy & understanding from others. I know that this is not always the case if you have a mental illness and the more it is talked about, hopefully the easier it will become.
I also suffer from depression anxiety. My psychiatrist also believes I have a gambling addiction, and whilst this does not manifest in me betting or going to the casino all the time, instead I take massive gambles with my life and risk stuff like my job / health / relationships
I take citalopram and am trying to work through my behaviors
I'm not ashamed in the slightest and happy to share
I suffer from depression, anxiety, eating disorders .... I am labelled BPD and even amongst other people with MH issues that label causes stigma. And I am ashamed, ashamed I do not have a 'normal' life and have not reached the stage of having a career, like my friends have, because i spent so so many years in and out of hospitals.
I try and be open about it, and i agree - it is astounding the amount of people who struggle.
Good thread OP.
I have anxiety which is better controlled now that my circumstances are easier but I was on propanol for about 6 months to help me cope. It was horrible.
I still have lots of little anxieties which I fight with on a day to day basis though and know how horrendous mental health issues can be. I'm not embarrassed to talk about it now but it amazes me how many people are shocked when I speak about it as I seem quite chilled on the surface. Hiding it well has been one of my biggest problems! We should all be kinder to ourselves.
I think part of the problem is that people still don't realise how many of their friends, family and colleagues are suffering. When I had an eating disorder in my teens I thought I was the only person in the world going through that horror. Once I found out that other people had this thing, it was so much easier to deal with.
Oh I forgot, I am also a compulsive scalp picker
I am a bit ashamed of that and avoid hairdressers
I've had depression on and off since I was a child, then PND after DS.
I was very open about my PND diagnosis and the medication I took for it, which really caught some people off guard, I think I was meant to mutter it quietly under my breath and change topic...
For me it will be a lifetime journey in and out of mild depression, fortunately I am more self aware these days and can often pull myself out of it before I get too deep.
Tis just part of who I am, and bizarrely makes me a very optimistic positive person IRL as I have to make an effort to think that way else I slide back in.
catgirl1976 Wow!! i thought it was just me!! I have done this since i was a teenager - i cut my own hair It can sometime be really bad and is a good reflection of how stressed i am. I actually hadn't linked it in with my anxiety/depression so thanks for mentioning that, lightbulb moment!!!
I have just begun to ask for help for my mental health problems. I have a script for sertraline which I am six days into. I feel very low today but I am hoping to feel better very soon. I couldn't take citalopram because it made me incontinenr.
Me too, I struggle with anxiety issues which flare up into depression every few years.
Have had loads of ADs, counselling and CBT.
People with MH problems are often very insightful, I have found.
I have to say though, its sad how peoples reaction towards can change once they know you have a mental illness.
Iv put this on my facebook and twitter accounts barely 10minutes ago and already some fuckwits have put 'hilarious' comments about nutters and mentals. Wtf?!
Im off for a friend cull.
anyone who is open and out about their mental illness is to be applauded. <applauds self and OP>.
There is Soooo much stigma out there but normal people (rather than celebs) need more normal people role models.
I am a manic depressive. In the past I've had depression (and many anti depressants) these days psychotic episodes are more of a problem. However I can and do live my life and bring up my family pretty ok. Not looking for a medal but actually think people who are open do.
Well done OP. YANBU.
OP ignore the silly posts. These people are not your friends.
Waves to LEM and catmint as fellow scalp pickers
filee - I remember your thread - I have PM'd you x
I have anxiety, agoraphobia and claustrophobia. I had an eating disorder in my 20s.
Because I was able to eventually seek help, I am so much better these days. I am no longer a prisoner in my home and can face life much better. I have CBT and take 50mg of Sertraline daily.
The hardest part was going to get help. I felt I was a total failure for going to see someone and I should just "get on with things like everyone else".
Hugs to everyone who is suffering, high fives to those getting help, and a hand to hold for those who need a bit of support xx
I suffer from bi polar and eating disorder/ disordered eating. I also have strong traits of BPD.
I'm open with people about my MH issues, although I don't like talking about the BPD as it has such negativity about it, esp as people assume that you are really manipulative.
I think the time to change campaign is great. I find some people still feel uncomfortable with me talking about it, however, lots have also come out and said they suffer depression or anxiety etc.
It helps to admit it I think. Esp as I spent so many years hiding the abuse which lead to my MH issues.
i'm ashamed. i'm very private about my mental health problems in RL. i'm so impressed at all of you who are able to be open but i feel like i would risk my job (work with children) and bring my ability to parent into question if i were honest with people.
idiuntu - it was jogonkitty who got the idiotic posts on her FB, i am pretty selective about my FB friends and think i have wheedled out the idiots by now, also most people who know me know that i suffer from anxiety and would not appreciate smart ass comments.
yes sorry can't work out how to remove my misdirected post.
That's an excellent campaign. I don't suffer with mental illness but my lovely SIL did (does?) and she's the last person I would have thought would suffer with depression. Have shared the campaign on my Facebook.
fish, you shouldn't be ashamed, however you ARE entitled to be as private about it as you feel you need to be about it. I worried that my doctor and HCPs would question my parenting abilities and i have to say that in the 7 or so years that I have struggled, no aspersions have ever been cast. I know Im a good mum and so does my Dr! I think it helps that she has children the same age and we sort of "get" each other.
no need to remove it
I have to say, i have noticed alot of "feline" inspired nicknames on this thread
I have a lot of anxiety issues and am a scalp picker too. Im not on any medication at the moment after I overdosed on anti-anxiety medication as a teenager, Im on an NHS waiting list for therapy, wont be seen until october at the earliest.
Gosh, i honestly thought i was the only person in the world that did the scalp thing I didn't think that anti-anxiety meds were recommended for teens, if they are of the SSRI variety - maybe have a word with your doctor?
I have a history of mental illness - severe depression, eating disorders, compulsive hoarding. I'm very private about it as I do feel people make judgements. I've had my parenting questioned, as my dd has SN so we've had a fair bit of contact with professionals like paediatricians and social services. Lots of her behaviour was blamed on my parenting as a single parent with MH issues before she was diagnosed. I've also been criticised for not working and getting DLA, so I'm not open about that either.
If I'm honest, my MH needs have had an impact on my ability to parent, the symptoms mean that I often lack motivation and get very tired, and it's hard to be a good parent when you're barely able to get up and dressed yourself. And relationships have also suffered as I get mood swings, or sometimes want to isolate myself and find it a struggle to communicate my feelings. I'm often not much fun to be around as one of the symptoms of depression is to lose interest in activities so I find it hard to be sociable, so I've never managed well with playdates etc. I don't work because I can't cope with the pressure and social expectations. My mental illness has a massive impact on my quality of life and the life of those around me, I can't minimise that by saying that I'm still a great parent/partner/friend because I'm probably not when I'm having a severe episode.
I have OCD and anxiety and will openly talk about it here, and have talked to people in real life about it, but am cautious who I tell as there is unfortunately a stigma attached to mental health, and a lot of people still think OCD means you just have a clean house.
My sister also has OCD so I thought she would understand more than others but just last week she called me strange and said some really horrible things to me.
I have some citalopram but I have yet to pluck up the courage to take them, the thing they are meant to help with, anxiety, is the thing that's stopping me taking them as I'm scared of the side effects especially as its school hols and I can't afford to be feeling off.
it was only recently that I completely outed myself but I have to say I feel more at ease with myself than I have since I was diagnosed more than 20 years ago. Part of the confidence comes with age and the realisation that if people judge me negatively because of this then they are the losers not me. I realise this is easier because I am self employed.
I have had bad experiences of sharing my MH situation. I was also sacked from a job because I wasn't brought up with my parents. I try and be casual about it but I am wondering now if it is why all the parents at school have stopped talking to me. At our previous school the same thing happened but was more obvious when they did it.
--having a really really crap evening so probably shouldn't have
LEM It was nearly 10years ago now and not in the UK so dont know what the recommendations were, It was Zanax.. Dont know if they even prescribe that anymore. My GP decided best not to prescribe me anything until Im getting some therapy and try a non medicated approach
i remind myself a lot that 20yrs ago Cancer was similarly stigmatised
I have depression,anxiety issues,social anxiety and PTSD. I also self harm,though not by cutting.
I'm not on medication at the moment,but I'm considering going back on them as I've been in such a bad place lately. I am receiving therapy.
It doesn't help that I'm dyspraxic. That seems to aggravate/trigger some of my issues.
I am ashamed of it. I don't believe that having a mental illness is something one should be ashamed of,but I hold myself to a different standard.
Teemjavert - i did read on the dyspraxia website that dyspraxics can be prone to depression, it made me sad as my DD has mild dyspraxia
yanbu to that, I have Bipolar disorder (depressed loads), eating disorder, anxiety and OCD, and I see lots of others too have various struggles you're not alone! Have tried loads of antidepressants (also citalopram) and anti-psychotica with no effect, starting up lamictal next week when I'm out of the first trimester, and counselling starts tomorrow! Fingers crossed it'll help a bit
I have MH problems too. Anxiety, addictions, disordered eating, obsessive behaviour...
I scalp pick too- thought it was just me
I also pick my nose but I don't think that's connected to my MH- rather that I'm just generally disgusting
I am open about my illnesses, as they have all been extremely visible in the past, regarding self harm, suicide attempts, anorexia and also ocd, so no point hiding it for friends and family. Not telling people at work though They have no need to know!
I have pretty entrenched obsessive compulsive disorder, depression and anxiety.
I have had OCD for over 20 years, and I wasn't formally diagnosed until last year as my condition isn't "classic" OCD.. I just spent all that time not being able to explain how I feel and thinking I was weird. I'm not even 30 yet!
I take sertraline, combined with hi impact exercise twice a week. I really, really really believe the exercise helps massively with my depression. I didn't go to the gym all last week and at the weekend I was feeling really frustrated and teary. Went to the gym today, 16 miles on the spin bike in 40 minutes, bit of weight training and I feel so much happier and calmer.
Am I ashamed of having OCD, depression and anxiety? Am I bollocks. Alright the OCD gets embarrassing but I can't help it, I didn't ask for it, so why should I be ashamed?
I have all sorts of things that I think need unpicking further and have had counselling for anxiety. It also cost me a job. The thing I am so pleased to have found this thread for is the scalp thing! I really thought it was just me. I used to do back too but I'm in a happier place now. Think I have add as well and am in the process of plucking up the courage to seek answers on that one.
Having had a mother with mh problems I have been in denial about stuff but really think I need some meds. I deserve to be as calm as the work I put into being calm justifies.
I wish I shared your optimism. I am suffering at present but I'm too ashamed to go to my gp and admit I need some help. Keep trying to tell myself I can cope.
Take my hat off to you guys x
I'm diagnosed with bipolar type 2 disorder and post natal depression (but I think that bits hooey) I'm on 1.2g lithium a day and have weekly visits from a psychiatric nurse, monthly visits with a psychiatric consultant and frequent health visitor sessions.
I've always been fairly open but since trying to take control I have been stigmatised at work by my line manager which is making me want to jack it in. I'm struggling anyway as the lithium makes me a bit queasy and I'm stressed to the hilt, I don't need some jumped up know nothing making me feel worse!
It helps me having a social worker as a best friend reassuring me that various diagnoses won't impact the way I'm viewed as a mother and how the system works with regards to removing children so I feel quite safe in that respect.
Thanks LEM for letting me get that off my chest
Fwiw, I have several friends who, over time,have talked about mh issues. I've always been amazed at how people cope or hide things, although a bit sad that we feel sometimes we have to hide.
Good for you. I heartily support this.
I have never technically had depression (though I have been depressed) but my DH, DSis and at least two close friends have.
Both my DH and my DSis had their lives turned around by a) allowing themselves to admit they were I'll and b) taking medication. And yes I know there are people who think this is a cop out but it has saved both of their lives. Neither of them are free from problems and both have ups and downs but both are hopeful and functional because of it.
Whatever you do to deal with your mental health problems here's to dealing with them without stigma and with tolerance, support and understanding.
Me too, I suffer from anxiety although currently off ADs although experiencing a few mild symptoms currently so keeping a close eye on myself. I have told a few friends but only a couple of people at work. I think my boss would be ok but would probably give me less challenging work if she knew as she would be worried I wouldn't cope. Others would be less understanding unfortunately . I'm currently on an NHS wellbeing programme that I hope will help me deal with better going forwards although I accept that I may have relapses throughout my life as it seems to come from nowhere!
YANBU. I have anxiety problems, fairly well controlled at te moment but I fear them flaring up again. My DP and close friends and family are aware, but I don't feel comfortable sharing more widely. I fear people's judgment. My brother has bipolar disorder. His lot is harder than mine and I worry every day about how the illness affects his life, and how people's reactions to it and their lack of understanding compound the problem. We can only overcome stigma by talking about it but...it's hard. I applaud you for sharing and wish I had your courage IRL.
High fives for all the sharers!
I was first diagnosed with depression aged 14, with the help of my amazing councillor we realised the signs had been there since I was 9 or 10 years old. I mostly had verbal therapies but in the last 2 years started taking citalopram (came off when we found out about baby).
It's something that controls my everyday life in strange and bloody annoying ways but I've learned to live with it, accept it and not let it rule me all the time. Having a very supportive DH with whom I can talk very openly helps massively. Having an employer that tried to discipline me for sick leave when I was suicidal was NOT!
More needs to be done to take away the stigma of MH issues, there are so, so many people out there who are affected by it, and the best way to raise awareness is to talk about it, so keep it up and never EVER be ashamed.
I have PND and severe anxiety issues since having DS3. I'm not on medication, nor have I spoken to a dr about it. Some days I'm ok but sometimes it floors me. I can't make decisions, even deciding what to have for dinner causes a lot of anxiety.
I used to have five mental health disorders. Just posted something similar on Facebook, eep.
realise I am hijacking OP's post but I urge all to consider telling just one more person tomorrow. In my case Stephen Fry and Catherine Zeta Jones are all very well as the face of bipolar disorder but it is knowing my next door neighbours cousin etc. has been through something like me keeps me going when the going gets tough.
As everyone probably already knows, because I never shut up about it, I have Anxiety Disorder, Clinical Depression and Borderline Agoraphobia.
They will take my meds out of my cold dead hands. Including my Xanax which I pay for privately because the NHS will no longer cover it, the bastards.
LEM thank you for starting this thread.
I have bipolar disorder, had depression since my teens but didn't do anything about it until I was 25, diagnosed with bipolar when I was 28. I'm on two mood stabilisers and having psychotherapy as well. I've been very well since the beginning of this year, but before that was ill (mostly depressed) on and off for years. Colleagues have been very good, although I'm a psychiatrist so you would hope they wouldn't be horrible about it... some have described me as "a one person anti-stigma campaign"
Littleen hope you get on well with the lamictal- I'm on it as well and it's helped me a lot.
Joanne279 your GP sees people with mental health problems every day, 90% of people with mental illness are dealt with only by the GP so they know what they're doing and will not think badly of you. I put off seeing someone for ages on the grounds that I thought I could just get on with things (despite seeing my patients getting better on medication, sometimes dramatically so!) and wish I'd done it much earlier. One of the awful things about this is that the illness itself convinces you that nothing will improve. It's wrong. Look after yourself xx
I suffer from depression and ADs. I am fairly open about it too.
I will share this.
I've suffered from panic attacks, anxiety, OCD and emetiphobia since I was very little (before I can remember)
Not on any meds but had some cbt which helped. I've learnt how to live with it but I get flare ups from triggers.
I don't think anyone knows the true extent of my 'conditions' apart from my sister.
I have OCD and health anxiety.
My husband has bipolar with schizophrenia traits.
I have depression, anxiety and sometimes hear voices telling me to hurt myself (haven't self harmed "properly" since being a mum) amongst other things.
I'm on fluoxetine at the moment. Went on that 2 weeks after finishing my weaning period off sertraline, clearly wasn't as ready as I thought to come off medication. I had suicidal thoughts and overwhelming urges to self harm. Got a review appointment with my GP tomorrow and am not sure how to go about it. I feel loads better than I did but I still hear voices but I'm not sure if that's normal as it's in my voice but different from the usual running through what I need to do that day.
I have suffered from depression on and off for about 15 years. Am currently unmedicated but struggling - possibly due to stress, or my own physical health - with feeling down, and my anger and patience levels. I have OCD, but it's manageable so I have never spoken to a professional about it. I was heavily 'into' self-harming (mostly cutting) as a teenager/young adult and sometimes the urge does come over me, but I haven't done so in years.
I also suspect I probably have aspergers and possibly ADHD.
I have an 8 year old daughter with mental health issues - diagnosed ADHD and awaiting diagnosis of ASD.
What a fab thread - thank you, it's so easy to feel like you are the only one suffering.
I have PTSD, depression and anxiety. I have just finished a year of weekly psychotherapy and am in a good place at the moment, but its taken some time to get to this point.
<high fives everyone on thread>
YANBU, I have always been very open about suffering from depression and anxiety. Had my first spell of it at around 16 years old and have been on and off ADs since my early 20s. Been on citalopram for about 7 years and it keeps me on a fairly even keel overall. It isn't something I'm ashamed of.
I have bipolar and it is very unusual for me to even say that even on an Internet forum. I lost my career as a doctor through disability discrimination (I got a we thousand out of court but that is no compensation for an entire lifetime of a well paid career. My family disowned me as they said I was a nutter and an embarrassment and my sister a practicing GP told me to fuck off and kill myself.
I have spoken about my bipolar on other forums and have been called all sorts. I recently posted on a Guardian Comment is Free thread about being a parent with menal health difficulties. Another poster replied I had no right whatsoever to reproduce and "people like me" are not fit to care for a budgie. The moderators quickly deleted it but it led to me phoning my health visitor in tears asking her if I was fit to look after my son. She was lovely and reassuring. My advice to anyone who has mental health problems is only tell people on a need to know basis and be very careful posting on the Internet as people can be a lot crueller when they hide behind computer keyboards. Seriously if I met the person who made the budgie comment in rl I would knee him in the balls.
Mh discrimination is WORSE than the illness itself. Telling someone you have it is like taping a giant "kick me" sign to your back
I suppose I don't tell many people about my MH problems because I have so many friends from the MH community - we're all one group, we know one another well, allow for one another's 'foibles' because we have foibles of our own.
I would say all of my close friends have MH disorders of one type or another - I find 'ordinary' people a bit dull tbh LOL. I have just had coffee with a friend who is diagnosed BPD and has an eating disorder and self-harms. I could go on, listing my friends and their various dx... but tbh it is irrelevant what the actual 'labels' are now, we're just friends and we love one another.
I have had depression for as long as I can remember. I have been treated for depression throughout my life and have a very healthy respect for my MH in that I watch it closely - I know how to look after myself. Let's think.... I also have an eating disorder, I can be compulsive; I have suffered with crippling panic attacks (though no more). There's probably more but I don't remember it all at the mo... tbh because it isn't important iyswim? What the actual names are? I'm me and that's that, I don't need to be divided up like a pie chart.
BUT it helps to recognise one another by sharing dx, so in that sense it's great for building a community. I love my friends (and they love me). We are survivors, we have and do suffer a lot.
tbh it's harder telling people I'm a christian (see? you're already looking at me in a different light ).
You gotta laff
Arnie your post makes me so angry on your behalf. Bastards.
I have had social services and non mh doctors think they have a right to look into the minutae of my life and it made me and my family seethe. I did not loose my employment (though did switch career) because of my bipolar but it was close.
However it is because of these sorts of things that I believe that if you feel strong enough you should speak out. In my micro journey to damascus I have find some really unexpected people share their stories because I shared mine and that was good for us all. I am who I am because of my illness. It is not going away so I need to find a way to live with it. Being open is the way I finally found and at the moment it feels good.
I have Recurrent Depression with Psychotic episodes, and also have 'traits of' BPD.
I see an NHS Psychiatrist 3 monthly; and I take an Anti-depressant and an Anti-Psychotic daily. I also have Epilepsy (a neurological condition actually) and take anti-epileptic drugs daily.
I will never admit to those conditions on Facebook, sorry. Only my very close friends and family are aware of these problems.
It's anxiety provoking (lol) posting it on Facebook, especially as I'm a therapist and most of my colleagues are on there! Why the fuck should I hide it and be ashamed though!
Thanks for this post. I have severe anxiety which makes me depressed its much worse post natally. I have been trying to manage it through various herbal remedies but am considering giving in to the prescribed drugs.
*Slight thread hijack but one of my big issues was a huge weight gain from ADs in the past and my body not letting go of the fat despite great nutrition and exercise . I stopped the drugs and lost the weight gain, for those of you on citalopram: has It made you put on weight? I am not vain, I also have physical problems which are made worse when I'm heavy. Part of my anxiety makes me scared of putting on all the weight again.
If you prefer ill start a new thread re the side effects. Thanks
ok then, hands up: how many of us come from toxic families?
(I can see your hand already, Arnie)
I have PTSD and anxiety after an abusive relationship. I also had an eating disorder as a teenager which comes back to some degree every so often.
I am not sure whether I am more ashamed of the mental health problems or having been in an abusive relationship, I very rarely talk to friends about either. I know the two are very much linked though.
I have long term depression and anxiety, hospitalised due to very low sats in first pregnancy brought on by stress (panic attacks? Dont know, wasnt properly discussed, just signed off work). I self harmed when younger and have had small bad patches since. Health anxiety not helped by psoriasis, psoriatic arthritis and prolapse. Trichotillomania too, which itself isnt helped by my psoriasis!
Am on lofepramine at the moment, and my head feels relatively normal for the first time in quite a while.
I'm a scalp picker too, I always thought I was the only person who does this so it was amazing to read others do it too. I've suffered from mild depression but managed to get through it with StJohns Wort. I've stopped the scalp thing recently but now do something similar that I'm too ashamed to admit but would love to stop.
I started a new job recently and was pleasantly surprised when one of my new colleagues mentioned that she'd just upped her anti depressants. It was the first rl experience I've had that shows that the stigma is going.
Ooh I meant to add I'm a scalp picker too, and a face picker! I have weaned myself off from picking feet tho.
And I come from a toxic family!
Scalp, face, hair, eyelashes, nails, scabs, teeth, DH, DSs, wallpaper...
I'll pick at anything!
Well done OP. The more mental health is talked about the less taboo it will be.
I have Aspergers which is not a mental illness in itself but causes anxiety and most people with the condition, myself included, suffer from depression.
I pick spots, dry skin, scratch to scrape off dry skin from my scalp and pick scabs if I have them.
There should be a study into obsessive "pickers" and mental health issues.
gosh, i wonder if we should start a thread to see how many people pick their scalps who don't have mh issues! Although i imagine its an anxiety thing.
Thanks for starting this OP, it's heartening to see so many others stories.
I have been struggling, on my own- for years now. Some days feel like a constant battle, I don't want to do anything or see anyone. I can't make decisions without agonising anxiety, my life has hit a bit of a stand still because I just don't know what road to take. I've self harmed, lost friends etc and really struggle in any kind of friendship (and as for men let's not go there as I have severe issues!)
I have never really admitted this to anyone before, feel massively worried just posting this to be honest- but recently a lady who has become my friend who I don't think I'll ever be able to thank enough, must have just seen some of all this mess going on inside me for whatever reason and dragged me to the doctor, made me talk about at least some of it and I'm now on the waiting list for counselling. But it's a very long and scary wait at the minute!
I am not quite honestly not ready to share that message on facebook- sorry everyone, i guess i am still very ashamed at the minute (though I agree nobody should be ashamed of their mental health!) but sharing this has been a massive step for me! So thank you OP- reading this has given me some hope that someday things may be a little bit better.
celestialbows I am on citalopram and I do think it has made me put a small amount of weight on (i am quite big anyway and reckon ive gone up a dress size or half a dress size since being on it) but for me, i couldn't imagine not taking it. I would think that the herbal remedies would be equally likely to cause weight loss, but i don't know.
One of the things that is recommended for anxiety is exercise, which i do find works for me - but im rubbish at doing it!
I have it too, and I'm on citalopram. It helps, a lot.
You don't have to share anything you don't want to on facebook cezella - gosh, im not sure i would come right out on FB and say i have MH issues, although most of my friends are aware im not sure my family would be qutie so understanding I have shared the "time to talk" banner on my FB, one that doesn't suggest that i myself have it, if anyone asks though i would be honest with them. I didn't start this thread to ask people to share on FB though, just really because that was where i saw it.I think Time to change is a site all on its own. I am pleased you are going to get some help with the counselling, it is scary but i find it really useful, my counsellor doesn't do much more than sit there and let me talk and interject from time to time, it helps me put my thoughts in some sort of order than i can understand.
I have depression and anxiety. My anxiety makes me physically sick on a daily basis. I take 150mg of Sertraline a day, used to take Citalopram but it didn't touch me. I ended up being sectioned twice when I was 19 & 21. I have to go to counselling and cognitive psycho therapy. I've been this way for years and I'm only 23. I'm not ashamed but I don't tell people that I know.
I had a very bad time at that age, Flowery - hospitalised etc. I (somehow!!) got into art school when I was 19 and then couldn't hold a pencil I was shaking so much. I do suffer intermittently from depression now but it is nothing like the same, nothing like as bad as it was when I was younger. I have had acres of therapy and I now know why I have suffered so much. (I'm telling you this to hearten you, give you hope.)
idiuntno57. I can really relate.
I recently told someone who I that was a friend about my bipolar and it went down like a lead balloon. Apparrently we are all a bit bipolar.
I think people don't realise that it often comes with psychotic symptoms during episodes. Unfortunately, explaining that can make matters worse.
On the bright side, I came out recently to a few other people and they shrugged and carried a normal. They ask me how I am sometimes but don't make a big deal of it. That was nice.
Hi folks, my name is Never and I too have mental health issues.
PTSD, anxiety, and depression. I take citalopram and have diazepam for more challenging days.
I do not hide my issues from people but it isn't something I generally mention when first meeting people.
Am about to go into an environment with totally new people and I don't know how I and they will cope if I have another particularly bad patch.
Anyway YAY for time to change.. I share most of their stuff on my facebook page.
Hey lemis thanks for the reply. I'm going to see how the rest of this week goes and consider starting the citalopram : I have an unused prescription in the cabinet!
Hugandroll the picking is such a pain, I mainly do it when tired or stressed,I try hard not to do it around my child but my husband is also a nail/cuticle biter and I have noticed picking tendencies in my daughter.
I used to pick my lips and feet until they bled and were quite painful and even today I'm sporting some unsightly marks on my face where I couldn't stop myself, I try to pick everything smooth, it must be an analogy!
Someone mentioned citalopram making them incontinent, has anyone else experienced this?
Shrunken it was me who it made incontinent and my doctor said she had never seen that before but knows it does happen.
I wouldn't worry too much about it happening to you.
paulsmenis yes I get the everyone's a bit bipolar too sometimes...last time I told them what actually happened to me when I was psychotic once (abducted, raped etc.) that shut them up.
I have had depression from early teens ( not diagnosed until I was 19 and at uni, had been ignored by family doctor as "children don't have depression"). Mixture of counselling and ADs (sertraline, parpxetine, Prozac) until I was 27. I've now ended up with pnd after having DD. and I am a scalp, nail and foot picker, and also dyspraxic, which I didn't know was remotely linked so that is very interesting.
I do think that lots of people jump to that conclusion about Bipolar - i did wonder about it myself as i was the person who could be relied on for a "good time" life and soul of the party sort, yet could also feel like shit. I realise now that bipolar is something very different. I think its easy to make that mistake because when you are depressed it does feel so very much the opposite of being happy. Because people are more aware of the condition, which is a good thing, there will always be folk who will self-diagnose or say it about another persson.
celestial i don't think i know anyone who didn't have the prescription sat on the shelf for a while before they took the meds I had the suggestion from the doctor, told her i would think about it, was back after two weeks, then the script sat on my dresser for a week, then the tablets in the cupboard . The thing with citalopram, and other ADs is that they can feel a bit grim in the first week or two, although i didn't experience much in the way of side effects just felt a bit light headed. It does pass and they made such a difference to me, saved my relationship with DP and probably my life.
Good on you for starting this, LEM.
I have generalised anxiety disorder and I can also join the scalp and face picking club. I take 200mg Sertraline a day. I've recently started working my way through a mindfulness book, which I'm finding really interesting.
What a brave thread. I think it's great that people are starting to be more open about mental health issues but their is still such a way to go. Some people's experiences are so awful. idiuntno57 I hope you are getting help to deal with such awful experiences?
I'm glad this thread is still going, was reading but couldn't post last night.
I am a scalp picker too! Can't believe so many others here are. I'm not sure if it's anxiety, I do it all the time, I was scrolling on my phone last night reading this and picking with my other hand I think I don't notice when I'm doing it and can realise my hand is on my head in public, it must look wierd.
Anyway I have mental illness(es), have been diagnosed as many things, have many traits of borderline personality disorder (as told by one of the first therapists I had, seven years ago) but since then have been told no, it's chronic depression (my GP) it's PTSD (from a more recent therapist) have also been told 'we all get like that sometimes' (from peers, not trained specialists but when I was trying to open up about my issues. That taught me!)
I also have co-dependency issues and abandonment issues which show themselves (I think) as extreme jealousy. Which makes relationships with people I really like (both romantic and platonic) a nightmare because any perceived (and that word is key when it comes to me) abandonment, and I'm either pushing them away or behaving terribly to them, as if to test their loyalty to me. Which has most people running to the hills (or being driven away there by me )
I've lost a few people I loved because it's like I can't stop myself.
I didn't have much experience with MH issues myself until recently (although I did have a period of undiagnosed PND after the birth of DD1).
I have been in a relationship with my awesome bf for 5 months now. He has bipolar 2. He has always been upfront about it (he had mentioned it on his dating profile). I have since been reading and watching what I can find about bipolar and in turn other mental illnesses. It's completely shit the amount of stigma that is still attached to MH issues and the more people can be informed about them the better
Have 'liked' the page in the OP. Thank you for sharing it LEM
toomuch it was years ago and a lot has happened since then. I just got so cross with this particular individual belitteling what what is and was a big thing to deal with. Shouldn't have done it really....
I think I have a couple of borderline, undiagnosed things going on ....
I'm pretty sure I have attention deficit tendencies which makes it hard for me to prioritise, concentrate, and get things done.
Possibly linked to this I think I have had an underlying usually low level depression throughout my adult life - dysthymia I think it's called.
At times it's got worse such as after birth of DC2 when struggling to look after both dd and ds, so could probably call that episode PND.
Relationship with DH adds to the complexity of the situation.
Also struggling more as peri-menopause approaches I think.
Although I've talked to GP (and HV) about my feelings and had some counseling through my GP I've never really had a diagnosis (or treatment other than counseling)
Possibly I am somewhat on the edge regarding my mental health but I sometimes think a more thorough assessment, acknowledgement of difficulties, and support or treatment would be helpful.
Anyone else slightly on the edge of asking for a diagnosis and support ?
I think I'm a little unsure of implications regarding my work situation which may prevent me exploring this more through GP.
Signing in with entrenched depression, anxiety, social anxiety, scalp-picking and long term trichotillomania (sp?) (pulling hair out).
Taking Sertraline 50, occasional diazepam, have just started cbt and counselling. Throw in four years (and counting) of perimenopause symptoms ..... fun all the way!
My GP recommended a book on mindfulness but Im struggling to concentrate long enough to properly take it in.
Oh, I'm glad someone else mentioned the perimenopause and it's not just me MoreThan
I like the ideas of mindfulness and other aspects of the spiritual journey - and can relate to finding concentration difficult too. It's been ages since I've been able to finish a novel for example - but I like reading shorter things.
I wish you'd all stop mentioning scalp-picking - you're all making me feel quite ill
(just joking obviously !)
I am bringing some birth PTSD and pnd that I am thinking should now be renamed 'd' given my DD is over 2 years old....
My DH has OCD..not too badly but to the point that he won't let DD visit my terminally ill mother because he is afraid there may be lead paint in my parents house...
juggling its ok, its pretty yucky but i can't stop!
I usually restrict it to my feet - the older I get the richer the pickings as it were bleugh !!
YANBU. I'll out myself too.
I have often thought it would be an idea to have a little pin badge - maybe a black dog - which people with depressive illnesses could wear, especially if they're having a bad day. Then others who understand could at least give a supportive smile if they see them in Tesco's. (Though I guess there would be the usual brainless numpties who would use it as a way to harrass/poke fun...)
I went to the dr. Kind of talked about the voices but because it's in my voice it was dismissed. Tried to explain it IS my voice but different to the normal "internal narration" but it's obviously nothing to worry about. I now have my fluoxetine on repeat which is good - need to go back in a couple of months.
I have had panic disorder for 22 years ...which at time has spilled over in to Agoraphobia. I am not ashamed and my friends and work colleagues know. I have been taking my current medication for 3 years.
I just wanted to say that I am also a Social Worker working with teenagers. It has never affected my career and I have never felt that people look at me differently. I know a fair amount of SW taking medication - we are human too.
fish and jam how would you do people like me who might be feeling a bit high..big overly smiley badge perhaps. MH problems not just feeling sad...
Maybe a double sided badge? I personally wouldn't want ANY badge to be honest, but i would like to think that if i chose to tell someone that i had issues and was on medication then I wouldn't run the risk of them feeling differently about me.
I'm also a sufferer of depression and anxiety, I'm on Citalopram. I'm please to report that I have been fine for few weeks without major meltdown. I can say I'm alright. I can even dare say that I'm happy. Life is not sunshine and ice cream every day but I'm coping. Thank you for this thread !
this is nice, it's funny I'm pretty open with some people but I wouldn't or couldn't share it on Facebook as I couldn't have my family know. (as much of it stemmed from them anyway) I have been on citalapram for nearly two years, it's not been working well for a while, first I went back to the doc and he upped my dose from 20to40mg this was too much, it wiped me out and I felt totally out of it I went back and saw a different doctor (not deliberately it's just you see who is free) he said the dose was far to high and told me to take 20 one day 40mg the next. well this gave me spikes and troughs and still I felt no better but I gave it a go and returned a month later and saw another different doctor, a mental health specialist apparently, he refused to touch my medication, said it was working fine and all I needed was a bike and some fresh air, I told him I was cycling an hour a day to lose weight, and had lost 3 stone doing so, I had also been walking miles, and had even climbed Snowdon in July, he just said I didn't need to change anything and exercise would solve it all. so here we are, I'm really on edge, having distressing thoughts, anxiety through the roof, extreme tiredness, low mood, not enjoying things I normaly would, no attention span, irritable, scalp picking, skin picking till it bleeds, starving, binging, purging, and I know I have to go back and see a doctor but it's filling me with even more anxiety, knowing I will be treated like a hysterical woman, like there is nothing wrong with me, but my tablets have clearly stopped working and I have to sort it but it shouldn't feel like going into battle. I have done everything the doctors have suggested, counselling, cbt, exercise, weight loss, I have taken every suggestion but now I need to change drug, and it feels like I'm asking for a million quid!
I have suffered with Generalized Anxiety Disorder now for approx 9 years. I also have recurrent episodes of depression.
I have always worked and am in a parttime role now , middle manager NHS. Employers are supportive however I cant help but feel as though I am missing out... The part time aspect of my role adds to my anxiety
It has taken me roughly 2 years to get over having each of my children and I am frightened of ever getting pregnant again.
Am ready for the hills truth be told. I really feel under pressure to be perfect in every area of my life byut am falling waaayyy short.
I want to be ambitious and feel I would like to earn more money and take on more responsibility in my job however I have shocking probkems with concentration and regularly nod-off at work.
Maybe it will be easier when youngest DC starts nurnersy and we have more money to play about with... Maybe it will be easier when I lose 6 stones and stop being a fat heap
One 150mg Vensir.
Hugs to all of you x
Another Borderline PD here. Agreed that even amongst our fellow nutters we're still the lowest of the low. Sadface.
Another one here. Have had PND, Ante-ND and plain ol' depression. Plus anxiety and panic attacks. I'm back on Citalopram and have a fantastic GP but am moving soon and worried about what my new healthcare team will be like.
Have experienced a midwife telling me I'm 'having a bad day' when I finally opened up about how bad I felt during my second pregnancy and a GP asking me 'if I felt like killing myself, why didn't I then?'. Ante-natal depression is still not widely recognised (and some people don't even recognise PND so their heads must explode at the thought of depression DURING pregnancy) and some people are just prickwits when it comes to mental health but, for the most part, I've had good experiences with healthcare professionals and friends/family.
I've been under a psychiatrist and told that as my depression is now so long-standing and up and down I'll be prone to it for the rest of my life, but I know myself and my feelings well enough by now to see the difference between bordering on suicidal (tick, been there) and PMT (crying and crying just before my period - such fun!).
No more kids planned (39 now, 3 kids, STBEx finished things 3 months ago after almost 20 years) so hopefully I'm through the worst of it.
Onwards and upwards!
Dont be ashamed. I have severe depression and anxiety. I dont hide it from friends or partner. Its nothing to be adhamed of its an illness, noone asks for it
I'm ashamed. I'm ashamed of lots of the things I have done when manic and depressed. I'm ashamed that I have let down and ultimately lost my friends due to my actions when unwell. I'm ashamed that the only people I see through the day are paid to come and support me. I'm ashamed that I haven't got the career that my abilities and opportunities suggest I could hav e. I'm ashamed that I can't appreciate how lucky I am to have two amazing children and I'm ashamed to say that this horrible illness is impacting on how they grow up regardless of how hard I try to protect them.
I have shared the fb page. I would love to think things could change for me and for others but I have been met with nothing but rejection when I have shared in real life. MH issues have ruined my adult life, I don't expect anyone to react in any way other than to avoid me now.
martha if I could hug you I would. Poor you. You are right, mostly having a very severe mental illness sucks. I think that it shouldn't suck as much as it does though and I am going to start to bore people rigid with tales from the asylum as it were in the hope that this will change something, somewhere.
Don't be ashamed martha - that's heart-breaking.
Am glad you can say you have two amazing children - I'm sure you're not just lucky to have them, but should be proud too. Be proud of them, it could be a good place to start ?
I've not achieved what others might superficially expect of me either - but they don't know everything do they ? and not everyone judges.
IMHO life is to be experienced more than ambitions fulfilled or hoops jumped through.
I like that advert on ITV - life is short, we're only passing through, be happy.
(As far as you are able)
Sorry OP I didn't intend on hijacking your thread. Thank you to the previous posters for the kind words though, your empathy is very comforting.
I love the idea that talking about mh problems can help and am immensely impressed with those who are brave enough to be open. My experience is that people are scared and can't understand. A severe mh illness puts up a huge barrier and so keeping quiet is a safer chance at a relationship. This is hard as if I cant mention my experiences when ill I don't have much else to share.
I recently saw a consultant on the labour ward where I gave birth. He said he had read my notes and thought he must have the wrong person as he didn't think that having bipolar, I would be so 'pleasant and articulate.' This came from someone with medical training so no wonder the average joe is judgmental.
Martha regular hospital doctors have very little experience of MH issues and in my opinion are scared. I had a terrible time with them when my DT's were born and in SCBU. And when DC4 was born they threatened me with taking him away because they had misread care plan from loony doc. Terrible times. But over now. NOW I get to bore you all rigid with them............
you are not hijacking martha xx feel free to share
Hey to all of you brave people on the thread. Interesting all the puckers out there :@( I have previously researched this and there has been a link to the autistic spectrum, someone mentioned it in connection with their dyspraxia. I have a brother with Tourette's, we have no contact due to the whole toxic family thing but I often wonder if I have some element of ASD. not meaning to belittle those who have a genuine ASD.
Unless you are willing to disclose all the details of your illness, you are not only being unreasonable but we should be holding a red flag up!!
Just in case we needed affirmation of us and them, a thread to showcase discrimination pops up!
Where is that martha?
It's in aibu, title is something about psychiatric admission and red flags. I'm probably over reacting and being very sensitive to the subject but it seems ironic that after this lovely thread with people being so brave and telling their stories that there is still such blatant stigma.
Right - <<rolls up sleeves>> I'm going in!!
if i can find it
I have depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. I pick the dry patches on my scalp, pull out my hair (mainly eyelashes) and suspect I'm a hoarder.
I'm on Fluoxetine, but I think it needs reviewing now. I have community support, and have just started psychiatric counselling. Hoping it'll help
<gulp> I'm never brave about being honest about this. I have had episodes of severe depression along with some anxiety. I've a fab gp who thinks I'm moderately depressed and anxious currently so been referred to the local mental health team to see which sort of therapy might be helpful. Fortunately I've learned some good tools from the past and seem to be keeping my head above the water pretty well.
For all you pickers, what you need is psoriasis (though it can be a bit embarrassing if you've been absent mindedly picking in public)
lol nah, i'll pass on the psoriasis thanks
It has a name en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dermatillomania What strikes me is that most of the folk on here have said they pick at their scalps over other parts of the body. I am not sure i am actually moved to do anything about it though.
I have Anxiety and depression.
I had PND for 2 years before I was diagnosed and the psychiatrist I saw at that point says he thinks I had post partum psychosis for the first 6 months of DD's life,which gradually melded into Extreme Anxiety.
Mumsnet,particularly the mental health board almost certainly saved my life.
I would never have gone for RL help if it wasn't for the wonderful people there,and their honest,kind and wise words.
Sertraline continues to keep me stable and happy,even. Which is not something I ever thought I'd be.
Psoriasis does make the picking extra satisfying.
LEM, I remember a thread ages ago about tricho/dermotillomania, there were hundreds of posters on there! It was in chat though, so long gone by now
I haven't read the whole thread. I have general anxiety disorder. It seems such a simple term for something which rules my life to the point where I cannot get on a bus or a train, where some days I cannot get in the car to go to the supermarket or go out for a walk along the sea front with my family. Or I cannot get on a children's ride at a theme park. You are very much not alone. You have no reason to be ashamed of having an illness that affects your mind and not your body.
Oh and I have trichotillomania too. I pulled my hair out until I had huge gaps and bald patches and long bits and short bits.
Mind you, I am very upfront with anyone about my PsA and mental health. Not so much about my ragged bits though!
I'm such a thread killer
no its just getting late and the meds make you sleepy
Depression & OCD for me, was on Citalopram, now Escitalopram. Both very good, and CBT was a Godsend.
Not only are MH conditions very common, they are often very treatable.
I constantly spoil any single outing we ever have as an immediate or an extended family because my anxiety means I cannot do a single thing. I ruin peoples lives.
now come on.. you can't add that to your accolades!
sorry about that
if only there was an official name for thread killing...then i'd be set
Lots of my fb friends now sharing about their own mh problems, I love social change!
I just totally overshared on twitter but mind are talking to me on there which is nice.
Gonna have to get me into this twitter malarky x
Can I please direct the militant among you to the thread about a 'draining friend' in AIBU, where the most disgusting attitudes towards ME (the illness, not actually 'me') are being displayed?
I've reported an individual already but I feel the thread could do with some more sensible opinions and I know those on this thread have them.
I got deleted
I told my mum I was bi polar. We don't do mental illness in our
dysfunctional family, we get smashed instead.
It was really hard, I have had three years of therapy and sobriety and have a hard-won peaceful and drama-free life. I also tried, with the aid of my therapist, to communicate to my parents how much being brought up by drunks affected me.
Out if the blue this week, my SIL texted me to stay away from my nephew because I am not to be trusted around children because I don't like my parents to get pissed around my own DDs. My DM apparently agrees with her toxic messages in which she refers to me having 'a fucking mental illness' that is 'life limiting' and lots of other nasty things.
I have never discussed my depressive tendencies with her, which means that my DM must have been gossiping.
My SIL spends her evenings and weekends drinking and verbally and physically abusing my DB.
In the day, she's part of an NHS Mental Health Team.
I really really hope that she's an abberation because if my insurance runs out and I can no longer see my private therapist, I am terrified of ending up in the 'care' of someone like her.
I'm also terrified of telling anyone else in case they use it against me like this.
Very nasty mental health insults were directed towards me, on here, a few weeks ago
I wonder how you're all feeling about being called a loony, mentalist, crazy etc. This is what people really think of those with difficulties isn't it?
I call myself a loony. I think we should reclaim the word, like the black movement.
But not in jest of course I don't like it when meant to upset. The world has some horrid people in it but also some very good ones.
hiddenhome - but you are crazy, you keep spiders as pets I haven't got one yet Its all about the context though isn't it, i remember your thread and people were just vile on it If i am having a bad time or i have a meltdown me and DP call it having a fruit loop. I would never use those terms as an insult. As i have on my FB page - we all have Mental Health, its just that mine isn't always good.
Struggler - i sympathise about your family, that just sounds awful.
Complex PTSD, social anxiety and dysthymia here.
Have been this way for as long as I can remember.
ADs take the edge off it but am still a social cripple.
Thank you for this thread lem
Another one here; I have severe OCD, a general anxiety disorder and bouts of depression. No matter how many people are around me I feel truly alone with my MH issues. It's reassuring but also sad to see so many other people in the same situation.
Also helpful to see some positive comments about medication. I am so ill that meds would probably be very useful to me but after lots of meds and embarrassing side effects in my teens I can't bring myself to take them at the moment. Good to see they do really make a difference for some people.
Matt Johnson on This Morning now talking about having depression.
It's not on the same scale at all, but I have had eczema all of my life.
My Mum used to try to encourage me to cover up my arms with long sleeves so that people didn't see it.
No WAY! I'm not going to hide it, it's an illness that I live with, and I don't find it shameful.
Same should go for any illness, of the mind or body.
Refreshing to see a positive thread on MH issues. I had pnd and because I was so ashamed to admit what what the real problem was fellow colleagues assumed I had drug and alcohol issues!!! I was quite offended at the time but can see why they thought this.....not my"normal" self and great deal of time spent weeping in toilets!
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