to feel confused by the level of affection one feels for nicknames on a screen?

(254 Posts)
ClockWatchingLady Fri 02-Aug-13 21:11:23

I'm a bit late to the party, having only just discovered MN (never been on other "chat" type sites either). It really feels like people care about each other here, and (like countless others, it seems) I continually find myself "checking" on people on certain threads, and thinking about some posters' welfare very regularly.

I can't formulate my question exactly, but isn't it a bit weird that none of us really knows each other? Or do we? What does it all mean?! People who have been on MN a long time: do you feel that you have real "friendships" here?

Definitely Clock, but not close friendships. You remember people for what they have been through and stories they have told. It is weird, but I do genuinely care for a lot of people on here and yet I have never met them and would pass them in the street.

It works both ways though you remember if someone has been a right arse for instance. wink

Tee2072 Fri 02-Aug-13 21:18:12

I have met quite a few MNetters. And care about even more.

But, then, I fell in love with my husband over the internet.

ClockWatchingLady Fri 02-Aug-13 21:19:34

Thanks for the reply, Sparklingbrook.
Interesting to hear.

(re-reading the title of this thread I just hope, then, that I'm not remembered as some right arse trying to impersonate the queen. I'm really not that posh wink )

mrsjay Fri 02-Aug-13 21:22:54

I randomly remembered something I read about a member said a while ago the other day It was quite weird I mentioned it to the poster I hope she didnt think i was so sort of stalker or something If you post alot and are on the same threads <waves @sparkling> then you have a sort of onscreen friendship going on does any of that make sense

ClockWatchingLady Fri 02-Aug-13 21:23:17

Do you mean in the flesh, Tee? (the MNers, I assume you and your husband have met in person)

mrsjay Fri 02-Aug-13 21:24:12

aww thats nice tee 2 of my friends have met their partners on the internet one is married the other in a LTR

You do find that you end up with like minded people on the same threads again and again. I am often found down the lighthearted end of MN talking cobblers and tutting over slebs. grin <waves to mrsjay>

Nirvana79 Fri 02-Aug-13 21:25:53

I find it hard sometimes. I've NC today, not for this thread but I never seem to fit in anywhere, even online. I'm a nice person, honestly grin

Everywhere I go I just don't fit. There is loads of support on here though that I've seen which is nice.

I am sure you fit somewhere Nirvana. Perhaps you need to talk more cobblers.

Nirvana79 Fri 02-Aug-13 21:27:18

Not today, the other day.

BrainSurgeon Fri 02-Aug-13 21:27:36

I totally see where you're coming from OP.

I started feeling the same after about a year here.... then I went to a MN meet-up and now I can definitely say I care about quite a few of these vipers grin

Nirvana79 Fri 02-Aug-13 21:28:02

Yeah maybe, Sparkling. I need to try harder I think.

ClockWatchingLady Fri 02-Aug-13 21:28:08

Yes, the NC thing is strange isn't it? So you sort of have to start all over again if you do it.

Tee2072 Fri 02-Aug-13 21:28:40

Yes, in the flesh, Clock. Both here in Belfast, for which I am the Local Editor, although I met some before I took up the job, and in London.

The Forty Plus Mummies have been talking online for over 5 years and meet up at least twice a year.

Nirvana I've only ever really fit in long term places online. I mean, I have friends, but not really close ones, my husband being the exception.

But this isn't my first internet message board by a long shot and I still have friends all over the world from others.

daisychain01 Fri 02-Aug-13 21:28:49

What a brilliant and perceptive observation. And its just so true. I notice that people chat away like they see each other every day! I probably havent been on here long enough because people dont really chat to me. Maybe it just takes ages and ages. But I love all the witty banter.

The top thread at the mo has to be TidyDancer's one about the friend who has asked her to decorate her wedding hall even though she de-invited her from the wedding. Its like a party in there every night, everyone getting involved!. grin

ClockWatchingLady Fri 02-Aug-13 21:29:12

What makes you think you don't fit, Nirvana?

Some people worry about being anonymous and some don't. I depends what you share really. There is nothing I have posted on here I would mind if anyone read TBH.

I'm the same as Niv I just don't feel like I fit in but still stick around on the sidelines and NC a fair bit.

I've had lots of support here though and never roam far from MN.

SisterMatic Fri 02-Aug-13 21:30:45

I found MN difficult at first but I am slowly getting into it. You have just got to take the plunge.

FruOla Fri 02-Aug-13 21:30:58

You get to 'know' some MNers over a period of time. As Sparkling says, you often find yourself 'chatting' to like minded people on MN.

And I've also met a number of MNers in real life - through MN - so deliberately arranging to meet, rather than just randomly meeting someone who you subsequently discover is a MNer.

SisterMatic Fri 02-Aug-13 21:31:30

...but also..know that once you are never leave

<evil cackle>

Tee2072 Fri 02-Aug-13 21:31:46

Me too, Sparkling. I'm out loud and proud. grin

mrsjay Fri 02-Aug-13 21:32:06

I have made some lovely from forum and chatrooms MY dh thinks it weird <shrug>
yep Nirvana you need to talk tosh and rubbish it is fun

I have nothing to hide Tee do you feel the same? I am me.

Nirvana79 Fri 02-Aug-13 21:33:38

I don't know, Clock. I have tried to get involved but I just seem to slip by the wayside. Story of my life! I've just moved to a new area and finding it hard in RL to establish friendships. MN is very busy so it's hard to be seen sometimes.

Tee2072 Fri 02-Aug-13 21:35:10

I've actually posted my real name on here, Sparkling. I blog on the network under my own name as well.

shrug. There is no privacy anymore. Why pretend there is?

Nirvana79 Fri 02-Aug-13 21:35:42

As I said though, I'm not slating the place. I've seen huge amounts of support which is lovely smile

SisterMatic Fri 02-Aug-13 21:36:18

I can see you Nirvana wine

cocolepew Fri 02-Aug-13 21:36:20

I think you need to stop name changing unless you are wanting to remain completely under the radar.

It takes a while to start to recognise names.

MammaTJ Fri 02-Aug-13 21:37:06

Tee, I now have a link with you, having fallen for my DP ove 'tinternet!!

Some I get a link with on here, some I don't. It's not even about redular posting. Not even sure what it is.

BigW Fri 02-Aug-13 21:37:33

I know what you mean. I always think of a poster called Pickles77. She had a pretty tough time but seemed so lovely. Her thread was the first one I ever read on here, back when I was not brave enough to post very often. She changed her name at the new year so she could have a new start. I often wonder how she is getting on. flowers if you're reading this.

elQuintoConyo Fri 02-Aug-13 21:37:35

Some MNers have met up at MN get-togethers, some have rallied round and made blankets, helped clean homes, looked for lost teddies etc.
Some have PMd (private messaged) each other for various reasons and struck up a friendship. Others have supported a poster who might have been getting a flaming and recognise each other through further posts/threads.

Welcome to MN thanks

LeGavrOrf Fri 02-Aug-13 21:37:40

It is strange isn't it.

But you speak to internet sprites over a few years and you do end up caring for them. That's why emotional vampire trolls can be so hurtful I suppose.

I started a thread earlier because I noticed a mumsnetter who has a hard life has had all her posts withdrawn. MNHQ don't do that lightly and I admit I am concerned for her welfare.

I have also been to a few meetups (waves at brain) and it is great seeing user names come to life, so to speak. And I have found that the mners I have met in RL are exactly as they come across on here (I am fortunate in that all I have met have been completely lovely).

It is also great fun to meet up over a bottle of wine and say 'did you see that fucking INSANE thread last week' grin

MammaTJ Fri 02-Aug-13 21:37:48

regular!! Not redular! WTF is that?

PeppermintPasty Fri 02-Aug-13 21:40:52

I'm very drawn to certain posters, happily (for them-and me?!) not in a stalkerish way. I massively respect most ie about 90 % of the posters on here, setting aside the trolls.

I even love the clearly bobbins regulars. Naming no names of course wink

And then there's practical matters:- Sparkling once gave me a great tip: liquid talc... don't forget things like that in a hurry I can tell you grin

Nirvana79 Fri 02-Aug-13 21:41:07

Yeah I'm keeping this name. No more name changing for me.

Cheers SisterMatic wine

Tee2072 Fri 02-Aug-13 21:41:28

wine Mamma! Cheers to us. grin

Liquid Talc Pasty. Every home should have some. grin

MammaTJ Fri 02-Aug-13 21:43:52

I would raise a glass but I have polished off two bottles of wine and the fridge is now bare! grin

Alisvolatpropiis Fri 02-Aug-13 21:43:53

I don't think anybody really likes me very much on here but there are certain posters I always like to see particularly. There are others who I frequently disagree with, in my head or on the page, but their views and reasoning are always interesting so I enjoy seeing them too.

Nirvana79 Fri 02-Aug-13 21:44:37

I love liquid talc!

MammaTJ Fri 02-Aug-13 21:45:18

(DP,better than any Ebay find, is in charge of the DC)

ChippingInHopHopHop Fri 02-Aug-13 21:45:40

LGO - can you please PM and let me know who it was. My MN is broken so I can't look for your thread or PM you (but I can reply). MN can't fix me either sad

OP - I suppose it's 'odd' but you do come to know people and care a lot about some of them.

See now I came on here and was about to post that I recognise a lot of people, remember a fair bit about some back stories of others, have met one or two etc. but no real, close friendships and I doubt people know me because I'm not really that prolific....

All of which is true. Then I realise I have met four people on this thread alone (waves to GetOrf, Brain, FruOla and, um, you know who you are). Meet ups are awesome.

I'm with Tee and Sparkling though, I never bother to NC and am fairly open about everything. I've only NC'd once or twice for very tricky or private situations, and once where it wasn't really my story IYSWIM.

DameEdnasBridesmaid Fri 02-Aug-13 21:46:23

I agree with you Nirvana and feel same. I have name changed a couple of times. Mostly because I've felt judged and. NC feels like a fresh start. But then you don't build up that 'known reputation' which a lot of posters have.

It's certainly rings true with me about the 'connection' and checking up on threads because I am concerned for the poster. It is bizarre though smile in a nice way.

SisterMatic Fri 02-Aug-13 21:46:35

Have some of mine Mamma cheers everyone!

SisterMatic Fri 02-Aug-13 21:46:56

Forgot the bloody wine

Alis why on earthnwould you think people don't like you??

DameEdnasBridesmaid Fri 02-Aug-13 21:48:18

I could wave to NaturalBlonde and babyheave but they won't recognise my new name sad

Tee2072 Fri 02-Aug-13 21:48:47

Just finished mine Mamma!

I recognized your name, Hearts.

I name change seasonally but always have Tee in there somewhere.

ClockLady it's true, you may flounce but you can never leave.

Nirvana, I will now remember you as a lover of liquid talc

although wtf is liquid talc

FruOla Fri 02-Aug-13 21:54:16

<<<<waves>>>> at Hearts grin grin. (I 'saw/spoke to' notfootball on a thread the other day, I don't think I've 'seen' her since the Meet Up)

Cool, Tee, that is I think the second time someone has admitted to recognising me smile

In RL I am a calm cool and collected 40-something WOHM but I swear MN reduces me to a teenager again. I'm sitting her grinning like the cat that got the cream that one of the cool kids has recognised me. blush and grin

PeppermintPasty Fri 02-Aug-13 21:55:54

Yay! You are LiquidTalcWoman.

Hmm, not sure that's as cool as I first thought. More wine needed methinks wine

Parmarella Fri 02-Aug-13 21:56:28

I have been on 5 yrs and bame changed regularly, which means nobody knows me.

I remember really worrying about a poster named riven, what happened to her?

Nirvana79 Fri 02-Aug-13 21:56:40

Hearts, it's so good. You have to try it.

Tee2072 Fri 02-Aug-13 21:57:54

Oh my god, I'm a cool kid?!?!


Are you sure you haven't confused me with a different Tee? There's 3 of us now.

wickeddevil Fri 02-Aug-13 21:58:36

I like the feeling when you are on a thread and a poster you recognise joins or posts. Sort of like old friend reunion in RL. Also love some of the names, as a bookworm the literary ones make me smile.

Alisvolatpropiis Fri 02-Aug-13 21:59:31


Just because MN is so big! I pop in, say my piece and see how it goes. It would be nice to think some posters like to see me when I do appear on a thread.

I made a right twat out of myself a couple of times when I first joined but have got into the swing of things a bit more now I think (hope).

wickeddevil Fri 02-Aug-13 21:59:39

And the 70's cartoons peppermint. Can you have nick name envy?

dawnpreview Fri 02-Aug-13 22:00:23

I don't post alot, but I have had some good advice when I have needed it. I am always amazed at how people rally round to help others at times of great need- blankets, tracking lost toys and general support if someone is going through a tough time. It is touching to see how many people genuinely care about others, even if they don't know them.
I also love the straight talking on here- if someone thinks you are being a dickhead they will tell you!
So basically I am trying to say, you're not a bad lot for such a nest of vipers!

MammaTJ Fri 02-Aug-13 22:01:19

I have motherly affection for my MN DD SP. I always recognise Solesource and like her.

Lottie mother to MN Mascot Wilf, sometimes remembers to PM me when she starts a thread about him, for which I am always grateful.

HugandRoll is now a proper friend.

DuckLady and I have a text friendship, but I hope to make that a RL one soon.

Got to love MN!!

ClockWatchingLady Fri 02-Aug-13 22:01:23

wine wine from over here as well (especially for Nirvana).

I've considered NCing a few times after re-reading a post of mine and thinking "what a twat". I suppose maybe on here the fact you can essentially erase anything you don't like from your past (by NCing) is too tempting. Maybe we all need to embrace our inner (and on-screen) idiot and live with it?

crazynanna Fri 02-Aug-13 22:02:02

I am fond of loads of people on here. I get used to seeing certain names and just smile when I see them. The London Gals keep trying to get me on a Meet, but I is too scared grin. Also, there are some I "know" from other forums, so it makes it all the more familiar. There are loads of good ''uns on here.

Alisvolatpropiis - I've definitely seen you around before!

PeppermintPasty Fri 02-Aug-13 22:06:33

I wondered about a meet up but sometimes think it might ruin the magic plus I am a coward

Do you mean my nickname wickeddevil ? I loved her when I was little, plus I thought I was being clever with the pasty bit as I live in Cornwall. Gordon Bennett I need to get out more...

Tee, too cool for school, baby.

Is liquid talc for grownups then? Sounds intriguing. I love my baby powder for under my droopy boobs

Nirvana79 Fri 02-Aug-13 22:09:07

Cheers Clock wine

That's what I use liquid talc for Hearts. Under boob moisture. You have to hold your boobs aloft for a few seconds for it to dry. grin

Alisvolatpropiis Fri 02-Aug-13 22:10:11



That's nice,you're one I like to see!

Peppermint I love learning the backgrounds of people's NNs. Yours is cool, I love the Cornwall pasty play on words.

PeppermintPasty Fri 02-Aug-13 22:11:30

This is funny. LQ needs it's own thread. Or a MN petition, or summink.

LMAO Sparkling. If and when I name change that will be it. UnderBoobMoisture. Perfect.

Nirvana79 Fri 02-Aug-13 22:12:06

Liquid talc is just the one for sweaty boobs.

mrsjay Fri 02-Aug-13 22:12:09

raises my cheap B n M wine to you all grin

it is bloody lovely BTW i bought it on a whim today when i saw B n M started selling booze

PeppermintPasty Fri 02-Aug-13 22:12:13

LQ??? Ffs I meant LT.

LeGavrOrf Fri 02-Aug-13 22:14:20

Oh I definitely recognise your user name hearts, and did so before the meetup.

It helps if you never change name, I do often but it is always a version of getorf iyswim. I am pretty open on here.

That said there is a prolific mner who has been on here since I have (6 years!) Who namechanges all the time and I recognise her immediately from her posting style, which is odd isn't it grin

PeppermintPasty Fri 02-Aug-13 22:14:33

Fanks Hearts. Most people end up calling me Patsy though, which is also good, thanks to Joanna Lumley.

It's a win-win.

mrsjay Fri 02-Aug-13 22:14:59

<arf> at boobs aloft grin

I wish I had thought of a cool name now

mrsjay Fri 02-Aug-13 22:15:47

sorry I am a page behind i was bathing and pouring wine

PeppermintPasty Fri 02-Aug-13 22:16:17

Ah Getorf, I like you and your opinions.

You see, this thread speaks THE TRUTH.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Fri 02-Aug-13 22:17:41

I have only met one person on here, but I have a LOT of affection for lots of you. You are funny and clever and assertive. And some of you get me.


TiggyD Fri 02-Aug-13 22:18:44

I seldom remember who is who on here. It would be different if I ever met people in person, otherwise your just names.

And sometimes I change people's names in my head CockWatchingLady.

MrsKoala Fri 02-Aug-13 22:19:00

I am surprised at the genuine affection i feel for MNers. I also know that if any MNer (even those i haven't agreed with or think come across as dreadful) was in dire straights i would do my best to help them in any way i know how. But that's the same as any human being i think.

However, despite being here 4 years i have never struck up any 'friendships' and don't feel as tho many people would even know my NN or particularly like me. So there is an anonymity too i suppose. There is nothing i say on here that i wouldn't say in RL. I am a very open person.

MN has really helped me thru some low periods but it's also made me laugh and cry. So just like any other relationship really. Ups and downs.

PeppermintPasty Fri 02-Aug-13 22:20:15

I know you MrsK wine

ClockWatchingLady Fri 02-Aug-13 22:20:52

grin Tiggy. You clearly HAVE met me in person...

OnTheNingNangNong Fri 02-Aug-13 22:20:58

There's lots here who I recognise and respect and fear in equal measure grin

I name change a fair bit, but I have done a meet up and met a lovely MNer!

I still fly under the radar though, story of my life!

PeppermintPasty Fri 02-Aug-13 22:21:45

On here I mean. Anything else would just be sinister!

I don't drink and I am tiddlywinks. Apols.

Patsy, that's something I'm never sure of, how to shorten people's nicknames. I'm pretty much always Hearts or HTD, some are pretty obvious like I would call FruOla Fru and not Ola, or short enough like GetOrf (waves, when is the next meet up?) to do all in one... Or would be meaningless like notfootball, I mean you couldn't just call her "not" or "football" could you?

Same Q for you Fru, next meet up? I'm slightly addicted to them I think.

PeppermintPasty Fri 02-Aug-13 22:22:32

Oh LORD!! bugger predictive text!

MrsKoala Fri 02-Aug-13 22:24:39

Phew, i just locked all my windows and doors! grin

PeppermintPasty Fri 02-Aug-13 22:25:50

Don't blame you grin

BrainSurgeon Sat 03-Aug-13 12:27:23

Hellllooo <waves frantically> so glad a couple of people still remember me!
thank goodnes keeping my nn finally worked grin

I too would love another meet-up

Doha (Qatar) is nice GetOrf, thanks for asking smile

BrainSurgeon Sat 03-Aug-13 12:30:41

How's Hully nowadays I wonder? (don't know how to search for her on the iPad)

onedev Sat 03-Aug-13 12:42:04

I name change when I feel I've given too much personal info away. I've been here about 5 years now & have recently started to recognise posters. There is one in particular that I always find myself agreeing with, but I doubt she knows I exist!!

I find it so strange that if I'm experiencing something in real life, I come on here & undoubtedly there'll be a recent thread about it!

I do care a lot about certain threads & posters, which I agree Op does seem strange! There's one in particular that I check regularly (re children's health) & if I could do something to help, I absolutely would.

I don't name change because..well I don't know really, I suppose because this is me now.

I have been "recognized" in RL from my posts on here but I don't really mind that, I don't think I really post anything too awful.

I recognize a lot of names on here, and even though I've never met anyone, there are some people I really enjoy chatting to. I guess if you end up on the same threads and have the same sort of humour then you do develop a friendship of sorts.

I have a fair few online friends who I care about despite having never met. I don;t really see the difference between online and offline friends.

It's always a shock when there's a poster who you always agree with, and really value their opinion, and suddenly they post something you don't agree with. shock

I seem to end up on threads with the same few people.

Really ThisReallyIsNotSPNopeNotAtAll? I have never heard of you. You obviously haven't been on any of my high brow intellectual threads.

Speak of the devil grin

stalker alert grin

I have seen your high brow and intellectual threads. Whats happening on this morning and poundland buys

Ooh Tango flavoured shower Gel! Here grin

See! I told you you were PoundLand obsessed. When did it get a website?! Plus can you eat it?

Why would you want to go around smelling like Tango?

It's for the grubby DC SPs. Soap dodgers the pair of them. I am having a proper bar of soap phase at the moment. Pears. grin

thegreylady Sat 03-Aug-13 13:34:43

I love Mn and do have 'favourite' posters whose opinions I have come to value.I find it overwhelming sometimes to think that there are thousands of mumsnetters yet it feels like quite an intimate group.
I have only nc once in the years I have been here [except at Christmas] because I don't usually post stuff I don't want rl people to know.I wouldn't mind being recognised by folk who already know me but I wouldn't advertise my identity here.I was nearly 'trolled' once.

mrsjay Sat 03-Aug-13 13:37:39

It's always a shock when there's a poster who you always agree with, and really value their opinion, and suddenly they post something you don't agree with.

I had that the other day with someone I thought Oh dear but i suppose everybody cant agree about everything

mrsjay Sat 03-Aug-13 13:39:45

DD took tango shower gel away on holiday with us it really does stink I regret buying her it now, but she loved it she said she felt zingy confused

I love a this morning thread grin

Well TM at the moment is awful. Baby Spice and Jamie Theakston? confused And Jeff Brazier. sad

I'm easily recognisable. I have shared something's that most people in RL dont even know.

I prefer to use MN as a laugh tbh. It seems to pass time.

I will go to poundland and smell this Tango shower gel

mrsjay Sat 03-Aug-13 13:42:35

yeah i never understand the summer ending of TM and the next week it is T M summer confused It is awful though the lovely Dan from the Hub and Emma willis should present

mrsjay Sat 03-Aug-13 13:43:13

is his name Dan ? the welsh bloke

I have a small crush on Dan. I love his voice

I love Emma Willis. Can't remember the welsh bloke's name. He is singing on that awful 'Your Face Sounds Familiar'. Have you see that?

mrsjay Sat 03-Aug-13 13:47:42

He is singing on that awful 'Your Face Sounds Familiar'. Have you see that?

nope dunno what you are on about its the final tonight blush

I know. I was going to start a thread mrsjay. blush

Beastofburden Sat 03-Aug-13 13:49:12

I am very newly back on MN and its a bit like having moved to a huge new campus full of people who have all been here for years. I am pootling around on AIBU, trying to decode the various acronyms and wondering what other fun places there are to chat on MN. Where are the silly places to have fun?

Hello beast. I generally hang around in Chat. AIBU is a bit mixed if it's a laugh you are after. sad

Just post and see what happens, that's what I do. Try not to overthink it.

Beastofburden Sat 03-Aug-13 14:03:42

Thanks sparkling!

If you have just come back there are probably a few good Mumsnet Classics threads to read beast here. smile

ClaraOswald Sat 03-Aug-13 14:23:18

I've always found Mn to be more of a community than most other fora. There are posters I recognise, ones who I can guess precisely what their first post will be. Like whenever anyone gets or thinks about getting a new kitten, Sparklingbrook is sitting there turning green with envy. grin

Did someone mention kitten? envy

RandallPinkFloyd Sat 03-Aug-13 14:30:00

MN is the only forum I've ever used so I felt exactly the same! I suppose I was surprised that it's so much more like an actually conversation than just 'words on a screen' iyswim.

I was amazed by how much people's personality comes across in what they type. I've been here a while now and I'm not well know by any means but there's plenty of posters I really enjoy chatting with. There's lots of posters that I find myself nodding along with almost every time (and a few who make me eye roll just by reading their name) but yes, it's amazing how you get too feel like you know posters.

I've never been brave enough to go to a meet-up, I almost went to a local one at the beginning of the year but I chickened out because I was too embarrassed by how fat I was. On the plus side it was one of my main motivators for dieting so all's well that ends well smile

Maybe I'll pluck up the courage one day but at the moment my complete lack of style, wit and class makes an MN meet-up seem rather daunting!

(Nirvana you're is a name that will definitely stick out for me because I'm guessing we are the same age and liked the same music!)

lougle Sat 03-Aug-13 15:44:45

Parmarella, Riven is doing ok. She just likes to keep a low profile.

lougle Sat 03-Aug-13 15:46:34

I love MN. I've met around 8 MNers through a meet up, all lovely.

I agree with those who've said that keeping a name helps. I just wish I had a better name!

MardyBra Sat 03-Aug-13 15:48:07

lougle Glad to hear that about Riven. I thought she was probably still around, but it's nice to know.

WorraLiberty Sat 03-Aug-13 15:52:15

I've got a few favourite MNetters but the fuckers keep name changing

Thumbwitch Sat 03-Aug-13 15:58:55

When I started using MN, I was always frequently up late at night, so got to "know" a smallish group of MNers who were also always frequently up late at night - we called ourselves the Twilight Zoners then, before all that bloody Jedward shizzle started up and ruined it for us. Since then, I've had a fondness for the MNers in that group, including some who've now pretty much left MN but I'm FB friends with.

I liken it to having a penpal - if you talk/write to someone often/regularly enough, you get to "know" them in part - you might find out a fair bit about them, and so really they are a sort of friend.

And anyway, they all kept me sane when I moved to Australia - it was lovely having the continuity of people to talk to daily, without worrying about cost of calls etc.

There are other names I recognise - but it's the others in the "quiches" I was/am in that I really care about. I have even met up with some of them in RL and still like them! wink

MacaYoniandCheese Sat 03-Aug-13 16:14:16

Awww...YANBU. Confusing indeed. I luffs all of you...including MNetters I frequently disagree with. I even have a fondness and appreciation for the more intelligent trolls.

<hands round fuzzy kittens>

FruOla Sat 03-Aug-13 16:26:11

Hey, Hearts, sorry I missed your comment last night "Same Q for you Fru, next meet up? I'm slightly addicted to them I think."

Yes, looking forward to the next Meet Up. I had to drop out - at the last minute - from the one at the end of June. Although I hear rumours there might be another in September some time?

(TBH, the lunch time ones are easier for me!)

PeppermintPasty Sat 03-Aug-13 17:47:42

I feel all warm and fuzzy, and, unlike last night it's not the wine.

I have a bit of a girl crush on all of you at this precise moment.

PeppermintPasty Sat 03-Aug-13 17:48:16

My commas are in the wrong place up there sad

Nagoo Sat 03-Aug-13 18:25:41

It's the love. You're comma-ing all over the place.


Nagoo Sat 03-Aug-13 18:27:04

And I love my quichey pals, but also have such a fondness for MN in general that I'd do a little squeeeeeeeeeeeeeee at meeting any of you grin

I am yet to meet a MNetter

ClaraOswald Sat 03-Aug-13 19:07:07

And next time you make it back to the UK Thumbwitch I will pull a sickie and actually get to meet you.

If you were nearer I would come round and pick you up and we would go to Poundland, and have lunch at Greggs. smile

That was to SPs. smile

That sounds fab Sparkling

In my shopping centre there is about 2 shops separating poundland and Greggs!

grin SPs. You are very spoilt.

GladToBeBack Sat 03-Aug-13 19:19:28


I feel the same x

GladToBeBack Sat 03-Aug-13 19:20:38

Late to the thread

There is also a Heron Foods, Home Bargins, Wilkinson's and a Iceland. All under one roof!

Imagine the fun you could have there!

FrancesDeLaTourCoughngIntoABin Sat 03-Aug-13 19:22:11

I've met loads of MNers (nearly met you SPs) and they've all been lovely. I love the meet ups - need another!

Did you Frances?

ClaraOswald Sat 03-Aug-13 19:23:27

What is a Heron Foods?

FrancesDeLaTourCoughngIntoABin Sat 03-Aug-13 19:23:32

Yes, I am StealthPolar Bear

if you say "who?" I will cry

FrancesDeLaTourCoughngIntoABin Sat 03-Aug-13 19:24:01

insects and fish presumably

ClaraOswald Sat 03-Aug-13 19:24:31

Wondered what you had NC to, Stealth.

Heron Foods is like a Home Bargins come Iceland mix. grin

Stealth who? grin

why the name change?

FrancesDeLaTourCoughngIntoABin Sat 03-Aug-13 19:26:29

it's a long story and involves lots of sex
(other people's. not mine sadly)

TiggyD Sat 03-Aug-13 19:27:07

I think I'm an unusual case on Mumsnet because my nickname is also the same as my real life nickname, so I feel it's kind of hard for me to change it. Constant name changing does stop you from getting to know people on here. I think it all takes away from the 'commuminty' of MumDadsandOthersNet.
I have also never met a Mumsnetter. I'm on another forum and we often have RL meets. It's so good to put a voice to the posts.

FrancesDeLaTourCoughngIntoABin Sat 03-Aug-13 19:27:07

Did you Clara? Did you not just assume I was having a break from MN?

No? You're probably safe to assume I am always on MN

FrancesDeLaTourCoughngIntoABin Sat 03-Aug-13 19:28:28


ClaraOswald Sat 03-Aug-13 19:32:36

Becasue you've tried flouncing before. and it didn't really last very long.

Good thread CWL

It is true that you start to care very much about people behind the words on the screen. I have met quite a few MNetters, in fact was chatting about sparkling with a lovely mnetter today wink.

I come to MN every day and see familiar people, who let me glimpse into their lives. It makes me feel very lucky to have a place full of intelligent, kind and screamingly funny women, and where I feel welcome

The longer I spend on MN the more heartened I am that, on the whole most people are mostly nice most of the time. The hive mind generally tends towards the moral and towards the kind.

I love MN grin

FruOla, no worries honey, I am trying to not be on here All The Time right now and actually enjoy the summer. I couldn't go to the end of June one either, was away. When was our Somerset House one - was it in May? I have a memory like a sieve these days....

BrainSurgeon, I was wrong in my PM blush the meet up I went to was <ahem> some other time (see comment to Fru, above).

Roll on September, in any case!

Thought i had burny ears Norks. grin

StuntGirl Sat 03-Aug-13 19:42:14

This place is like crack. You can never leave and everyone's stuck in the madness together. You have to care or you'd go mad.

Great post Norks

intelligent, kind and screamingly funny women

Perfect description. I would also add feisty and supportive. Mostly grin

PeppermintPasty Sat 03-Aug-13 19:49:31

Yes StuntGirl-Hotel California.

Stealth, you need to go back to Stealth smile

StuntGirl Sat 03-Aug-13 19:55:10

Pasty, I didn't even make that connection grin

PeppermintPasty Sat 03-Aug-13 20:04:49


I think this should be a permanent thread where we can all come and have a love-in every now and again, and we can send newbies here for a bit of rough and tumble an induction and welcome smile

StickEmUp Sat 03-Aug-13 20:08:07

I started here from an article sagging mn off, and never left despite not being a mum.
I don't expect people apart from nobdies recognises me if they do great if not I do care about others and like a few names myself.
Then again. Not everything is always as it seems.

TiggyD Sat 03-Aug-13 20:08:53

Some of the men on here are tolerable aren't they?

FrancesDeLaTourCoughngIntoABin Sat 03-Aug-13 20:17:34

No none of them. Especially that tiggy

TiggyD Sat 03-Aug-13 20:18:27


FruOla Sat 03-Aug-13 20:20:20

Oooh, I luffs that Tiggs, he makes me larf smile

greenhill Sat 03-Aug-13 20:21:07

tiggy as you probably know there are only about 30 men on MN, who post regularly, and admit to being male.

Obviously the MRA's and trolls could be male or female (and usually get deleted quickly for goading) so you tend to assume that you are talking to another woman, unless you know of the poster wink

I feel very fond of several posters, am glad to see others on a thread too or my heart sinks when I see certain names. Nearly everyone is tolerable though <and they put up with me too when I post, rather than lurk> smile

ZingWidge Sat 03-Aug-13 20:27:41

<waves to all, especially *Stick, SP, Hearts,, Tee, Sparkling, Mamma*>

thebody Sat 03-Aug-13 20:30:30

yes agree op. I usually look out for posters who have PM me ( hi sparkling) and these are the ones I usually agree with.

when a poster is in trouble it's great to see the support on here, the love and the support is fantastic ( recent thread in a poorly newborn this week and posters were saying where they lived and offering RL help) fantastic.

obviously there are some posters you generally disagree with and some you chuckle at but if it gets a bit nasty or you regret an exchange you can always PM and apologise to each other.

I haven't met any mumsnetters in RL but I feel I have anonymous friends in here that are MY secret guilty pleasure.

I never name change so could be outed as I have posted on personal matters but don't really mind.

ooh gone in a bit. yes mumsnet is ace.. agree with you op.

thegreylady Sat 03-Aug-13 20:33:04

One of the best things on here is the support.Flaming is usually deserved but if it isn't then the op can rely on a great wall of defenders to hold her up.I am so glad not to be permanently relegated to gransnet [though I pop in there too under a different nn].

PeppermintPasty Sat 03-Aug-13 20:33:46

Oooh Tiggy! I thought you were a gurrrrl !!! shock

ZingWidge Sat 03-Aug-13 20:38:40

Tiggy you have a penis????

I imagined you as the fashion model Tiggy! shock shock shock I need to lie down

thebody Sat 03-Aug-13 20:40:32

greylady, does gransnet have as many threads on there about difficult dils like mumsnet has mil threads? 😄

tiggy a bloke.. I know composhat is too. think its great to have the men in board. my dh and grown up dss are sort of honorary member as I read them the posts.

of course not the shocking ones ha ha ha .

StickEmUp Sat 03-Aug-13 20:40:39

<waves to Zing >

greenhill Sat 03-Aug-13 20:41:44

zing what a way to put it blush grin

PeppermintPasty Sat 03-Aug-13 20:43:40

Ah yes, I know composhat is a fella, now you mention it. Trying hard to remember the others. I can only recall one I can't abide, who shall remain nameless.
<soul of discretion>

ZingWidge Sat 03-Aug-13 20:44:22

green grin

valiumredhead Sat 03-Aug-13 20:47:46

Oh ,stealth I wondered where you had gonesmile

Anyone seen pinot around lately?

TiggyD Sat 03-Aug-13 20:52:01

Ah Zing, but where is it?!

And I can still be a fashion model.

Haven't seen Pinot around. Has she name changed?

PeppermintPasty Sat 03-Aug-13 20:56:12

Has Izzy come back yet, does anyone know?

LucyTheLittlestLioness Sat 03-Aug-13 21:06:05

I posted on here about some very personal stuff and had some amazing support.

I have had to namechange, but some particular posters who talked to me very frequently before I had proper rl support were fab.

I also met a MNetter who was lovely.

I like seeing familiar names as it is somehow reassuring. It makes it possible to feel like you are talking to just a small number of people on a thread, though of course that's not the case at all.

FrancesDeLaTourCoughngIntoABin Sat 03-Aug-13 21:26:35

I've seen someone with pinot in their nme, who I assumed was pinot

ZingWidge Sat 03-Aug-13 21:27:58


btw I wasn't surprised you had a penis what with being a man and all.

I just didn't think you were a bloke! how non-pc of me!

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 03-Aug-13 21:36:19


I thought that was Pinot too but she said she wasn't in one of her threads. It was a very not Pinot style thread too. I was confused until she said.

Kasterborous Sat 03-Aug-13 21:37:28

I just wish I new about mumsnet when I was going through my miscarriages and had no-one to talk to who understood. Only found it after I had DD. Some of the threads have me howling with laughter. The genuine support people show each other is lovely.

TiggyD Sat 03-Aug-13 21:37:34

Can we please all stop talking about my winkie now. It gets very shy when you do that which makes it hard to type with.

MardyBra Sat 03-Aug-13 21:40:32

Hey Stealth. I had a dream about you and Fenton the other night. It was dull though.

I found out Tiggy was a bloke when he posted a dating thread about the wooing of the ladeez. I'd always thought he was a woman and some of his proposed seduction techniques left me thinking he was a very weird original lesbian initially.

Yeah that Pinot isn't the other Pinot IYSWIM.

Bit gobsmacked that you're a bloke Tiggy but.... it doesn't really make a difference, only makes me challenge my assumptions!!

Omg just read your last post and if I had a cup of tea it would be all over the iPad grin grin

<waves back to Zing before wandering off>

I thought tiggy was a robot grin

NoelHeadbands Sat 03-Aug-13 21:54:06

I'm not really a man.

valiumredhead Sat 03-Aug-13 22:21:32

I always think of Tiggy as a slightly ruffled 40 something woman, Sloane ranger you're in a wax jacket with a spaniel and kidsgrin am I way off?

I name change frequently cause of nosy feckers. wish I could become a household mn favourite but tis not to be

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 03-Aug-13 22:30:35

I sometimes wonder if I should namechange because my mother managed to clock my name on the baby names forum and knew it was me immediately. Rather hope she doesn't scout me out around the sit generally!

Punkatheart Sat 03-Aug-13 22:30:43

Interesting thread. Last year I was seriously thinking of ending my life. I have had more to deal with that most people - and it was all too much. I had dozens of lovely messages from people on Mumsnet - some sharing their stories and some even offering to come around if I feeling that desperate. My situation is even worse than it was back then but I learnt strength and the support that I had received...I don't wish to be dramatic, but it seriously changed my life. The people here can be astonishing. Tough sometimes but supportive.

I love some of the nicknames and I think there is huge psychology behind them. Some are just plain rude and I love them too...

ZingWidge Sat 03-Aug-13 22:38:13

makes it hard to type with you type with it????!!!!!

oh boy

ZingWidge Sat 03-Aug-13 22:42:01


if you are mario99 or mario101 you are the best ever.
and also you'd be obliged to tell us who thw bloody hell Sharon is.
and what happened to the wall.
and Adam

I namechange a lot and am a total arse online (fucking keyboard warrior) despite being really bloody nice and normal in person. I doubt anyone here has any affection for me or indeed remembers me. ~violins~

I always remember people who are like me in some way, for example, had a kid in their 20s, or are lawyers, or fucking hate recycling, or love stupid fitness DVDs or black and white films.

Women who have shared their stories about having lost their children always stay in my mind and I want to hug them when I see their usernames.

not guilty sorrygrin intrigued now though!

TheRealFellatio Sun 04-Aug-13 07:43:08

Very late coming to this thread, but I think some people do go ont to form RL friendships that start on MN. I feel as close to some of my MN favourite people as I do to my RL friends in many ways. I love the way freedom that not knowing them in RL brings - it steers you toward certain people again and again purely because you love what they have to say - it's not what they look like, how old they are, what their income is, where they live, wehter they are naturally the same 'type' as you etc - I like that, it's very liberating.

I spent about three years on another board before MN and I made a good buddy on there - yet when I met her she was not my cup of tea at all and I was astounded at how differently she came across. Online she was funny, and lively and a bit of a whacky character, but in RL the 'whacky character' bit was polarised x a 100, and she just came across as a bit of a self-obsessed nutjob to be honest. confused I had another friend on that board, Lovecat who is here on MN as well, and she said exactly the same when she met her, so it wasn't just me!

I worry like hell about being anonymous. I think I may have overshared once or twice while being on the wrong end of a gin and tonic. blush
I am paranoid that my mother will find me. grin

FruOla Sun 04-Aug-13 07:47:04

Late to reply again Hearts, blush. Yes, it was the end of May - we were just lucky with the weather smile

One of the other guys who is good fun is DanFmDorking, but I haven't seen him around much recently. He made me laugh when he got all excited about a new service station opening on the M25 (I think?) grin

TheRealFellatio Sun 04-Aug-13 07:48:57

Although I must just add that I have met quite a few MNers and they have all without exception apart from one been absolutely lovely, and pretty much how I expected them to be. The one I wasn't keen on I wasn't expecting to like much anyway.

FruOla Sun 04-Aug-13 07:50:37

I'm obviously not looking at the right threads blush, Dan is still here!

SerotoninCanEatTomorrow Sun 04-Aug-13 08:07:51

Late to the thread (bloody weddings lol)

I have a real soft spot for some posters, VicarInATutu cos she does a job I used to (sorta) and despite having some at home difficulties she is always defending her colleagues against the public, and she has come back to horse riding and I enjoy reading her threads ;)
NorksAreMessy made me a Beautiful Thing for no reason and made me cry (luffs her)
I love SPs (despite the Cliffing) and enjoy her threads - her little boy is a similar age to mine and I really connect with her in a weird way smile<stalker>
LtEveDallas is the only regular that I think lives in the same area as me, and we need to arrange a meet-up!
Sparkling's kitten envy makes me smile.

There are lots of other posters that I love (and some I dislike) but I am socially awkward on here and in RL so don't mind that I 'know' people that haven't a clue who I am grin

SerotoninCanEatTomorrow Sun 04-Aug-13 14:43:12

Thread killer hmm


Thumbwitch Sun 04-Aug-13 14:50:22

FruOla - if he's from Dorking, then yes, that will be the new servo at Cobham on the M25! It's too close to where my Dad lives for me to have checked it out when I'm back in the UK but I'm glad there is one there now (M25 curiously lacking in services previously)

SuperMariossister - here y'are. It's barking stuff. grin

TheSecondComing Sun 04-Aug-13 15:02:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I want to go to PoundLand with Sparkling

Think that will be added to my bucket list grin

Beastofburden Sun 04-Aug-13 15:14:41

Do I see a reference to ducklady... Wonder if that is my RL friend... Waves.

TobyLerone Sun 04-Aug-13 15:28:50

I like some MNers. There are a few I know to be absolute knobs.

The vast majority pass me by and I can't remember who anyone is from one minute to the next. This happens in real life too, so don't feel special.

Don't forget lunch at Greggs SPs. Or we could-

Watch This Morning and tut a lot.
Lunch at Greggs
Poundland browsing in the afternoon.


BIWI Sun 04-Aug-13 15:42:22

Blimey Fell - I hope you didn't mean me? confused

I've been here for almost 8 years <dear god, how did that happen?! shock> and had two of my babies whilst a member and have dealt with those two babies going on to have SN.

I feel very close to the women I met on my ante-natal and post-natal threads and have most of them on FB too (as I'm a bit shit at remembering to contribute to the ongoing threads after all this time). Some of those women have done lovely things for me and they've been a great support when times were tough.

Now I spend most of my time in MNSN as a lot of what I need to talk about with regard to my children is SN related and the geese are very understanding women who let me do a lot of ranting and venting flowers

I haven't met many MNers in RL as I'm not in Britain, although I did stumble across a woman I knew when we were teens on here shock

I like that for the most part MNers are able to disagree vehemently yet will be civil and even friendly on other threads, there are exceptions of course but most MNers seem to grasp that a debate is a just a debate and don't carry it forward. That said I avoid most of the contentious threads these days as I just cannot be fucked anymore grin

TheRealFellatio Sun 04-Aug-13 15:58:02

Oh BIWI of course not!!! As if!

I'll pm you.

TheRealFellatio Sun 04-Aug-13 16:00:07

God, sorry I've just realised why you might have thought I meant you, as I have met you and I knew you 'over there' as well. But I met you in RL through this forum not that one. So sorry - I completely didn't register that you might read it and misconstrue my meaning. blush

PM on its way

Sparkling Its on my bucket list grin

BIWI Sun 04-Aug-13 16:05:06

Mind you, as if you're going to say 'oh yes, I did mean you!' ... grin

BIWI Sun 04-Aug-13 16:15:09

Oh, and to answer the OP, I think many of us spend such a long time here that it's inevitable that you get to know other posters pretty well - even if you never meet them. It's part of the whole strength of Mumsnet as a community, I think.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sun 04-Aug-13 16:21:57

I often wonder what people think of me <needy> I feel pretty invisible most of the time but when i get a reply by name I am reduced to feeling like a teenager when one of the cool kids has spoken to her blush I love how so many seem to 'know' each other and think that is great, I have been here long enough to know some of the in jokes but have not yet got the 'special friend' stuff going on <waves to anyone... just anyone> smile
its a great place. I laugh at its silliness, cry at the sad bits get angry at some bits and melt a bit over the supportive solidarity that happens spontaneously at times, a great bunch on the whole. Dh thinks I am nuts and even though he smiles at some of the stuff I read out I just don't think he gets it. long live MN

TheRealFellatio Sun 04-Aug-13 18:29:44

we have all felt like that at first Step and I can tell you that there is no secret to being recognised or gathering a posse, except in the words of Reality 'you just have to put the hours in.'

I sometimes think the people who feel unimportant/unnoticed on here are the ones who have actual real lives to be getting on with. grin

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sun 04-Aug-13 18:34:02

grin fellatio you mean MN is not all there is to life shock

BIWI Sun 04-Aug-13 18:42:53


Step - you just jump in and post, and post, and post and then suddenly you will find that you're talking with the same people and getting to know them.

Sometimes I think the stuff I know about other posters is quite shocking!

And if you get the chance to go to a meet-up, then jump at it.

ZingWidge Sun 04-Aug-13 21:24:25

<waves to step>
I'm waving to you coz I want you to be

I don't think I'm a cool kid though and I'm a newbie anyway.
a few people have been nasty to me, even made me cry (insensitive, selfish bastardsangry ,) but the incredible support people offer outweighs the stupid shit.
And boy does MN make me laugh until I cry!grin

my only problem is that MN is way to addictive... I had been top ten many times on the list of most prolific posters a few times (open but pointless boast?) and the week I topped the chart I had posted over 400 times in a week!
I was shocked and felt like an addict. I didn't realize I spent that much time online!

I like a lot of people here and the best time for me is when I find people who get my sense of humour, like Ems or Kotinka or Thumbtack or Vix to mention a few.
they do feel like actual friends.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Mon 05-Aug-13 11:26:40

Zing I am happy now smile

Beastofburden Mon 05-Aug-13 12:25:57

trying not to get addicted...

madmomma Mon 05-Aug-13 12:36:03

I really really love MN and it has got me through some tough evenings. I feel huge affection for lots of familiar names even though they probably wouldn't recognise mine. It is quite strange and maybe a bit stalkerish I love how you get a real sense of people's personalities on here.

BrainSurgeon Mon 05-Aug-13 21:24:39

Go on Fell, confess.... is it me you don't like.... I won't be upset if you say yes lies

TheRealFellatio Tue 06-Aug-13 08:04:56

Oh don't you start! As if I'd say that out loud on the forum knowing damned well that the person in question might see it - especially when I have them on fb! What DO you all take me for? shock

I haven't seen or heard of that particular person in many months, possibly even years. They may still be here under a NC - I have no idea. Blimey I will now have every MNer at that meet up queueing up to go 'Is it me? It is, isn't it?' grin

ZingWidge Tue 06-Aug-13 08:06:35


is it me you don't like?

ZingWidge Tue 06-Aug-13 08:07:00

it is, isn't it? sad

BIWI Tue 06-Aug-13 08:59:23


Shows what little self-esteem/how much paranoia we all have, doesn't it?!

TheRealFellatio Tue 06-Aug-13 10:54:37

Oh stop it. grin

BIWI Tue 06-Aug-13 12:09:54



Nope. It's me, isn't it?

FruOla Tue 06-Aug-13 17:04:52

Don't be daft, Hearts, how on earth could anyone dislike someone as lovely as you are?

flowers = you are a fab lady!

Awwwww Fru! I wish there were little heart emoticons smile

You're lovely too. flowers flowers

ZingWidge Tue 06-Aug-13 22:24:01


ZingWidge Tue 06-Aug-13 22:24:36


ZingWidge Tue 06-Aug-13 22:26:50

thereal but you didn't say it wasn't me, did you?

so it must be me <wails>

TheRealFellatio Wed 07-Aug-13 07:54:55

I'm looking sternly at everybody now. angry

BIWI Wed 07-Aug-13 09:10:29


Nagoo Wed 07-Aug-13 09:14:51

BIWI did you just lay a tiny egg?

ZingWidge Wed 07-Aug-13 09:33:14

thereal it would take a hell of a lot more to make me not like you!grin

stop frowning, it's going to ruin your beautiful face! smile

TheRealFellatio Wed 07-Aug-13 09:35:30

shock Do you know what I look like? (apart from beautiful, obviously)

ZingWidge Wed 07-Aug-13 10:41:57

I guessed! grin

ZingWidge Wed 07-Aug-13 10:44:02

anyway, there's no way it was me you didn't like. I only joined last November.
I was just being silly.

HoneyDragon Wed 07-Aug-13 13:27:38

seritonin you are only about 15 minutes from me, I reckon wink

<wafts in>

::snogs everyone to the ground::

<pootles out again>

HoneyDragon Wed 07-Aug-13 13:43:02

<<gets up from floor>>

Did anyone get the number of that Mnetter

<<reels around, falls over>>

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